Indlela Yokwenza Indoda Ikufune: Amasu Ayi-15 Asekelwe Yisayensi

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene endleleni yokwenza umfana akuthande, ake sicacise ukuthi asikucebisi ukuthi umkhohlise noma umshintshe ukuthi ungubani. Ekuqomisaneni kwanamuhla, okudingeka ukwenze ukuthumela izimpawu ezifanele zesithakazelo bese ubona ukuthi uphendula ngendlela efanayo yini, kunokuzama ukulawula imizwa yanoma ubani. Ngakho-ke, ake sibheke amasu asekelwe kwengqondo okuthi singamenza kanjani akuxoshe, sakhe ukukhangana, futhi sandise isithakazelo sakhe; konke lokhu ngenkathi ugcina ukuzihlonipha kwakho kanye nobuqotho bakho.

Indlela Yokwenza Indoda Ikuthande

Ngaphambi kokufunda amathiphu, beka okulindelekile: awukwazi ukwenza umuntu onjengawe abe ngumphathi. Ukukhangana kwangempela kufanele kwenzeke ngokwemvelo kuzo zombili izinhlangothi. Bheka lawa masu ayi-15 njengesiqondiso ku- indlela yokwenza indoda ikufune kubi ngokuveza ubuntu bakho obuhle kakhulu, hhayi njengemidlalo yokukhohlisa. 

1. Zithembe futhi ukhululeke ngawe

Akukho okukhanga ukwedlula owesifazane ozethembayo futhi ojabule esikhumbeni sakhe. 

• Yima ubude
• Yenza ukuxhumana kwamehlo
• Futhi vumela ukumamatheka kwakho kwemvelo kubonakale

Ukuzethemba, uma kuyiqiniso, kuyakhanga kakhulu ngoba kubonisa ukuzethemba namandla. Akudingeki ukhulume noma ube ngumuntu ophilayo ephathini; vele ubonise amandla aqinile naqinisekile. Isimo sengqondo sokuzethemba nesiqinisekile asigcini nje ngokudonsela indoda ngaphakathi, kodwa futhi sibeka isimo sokukhanga okunempilo.

2. Gcina ukuzimela futhi uphishekele izintshisekelo zakho 

Amadoda athanda umlingani onokuphila kwakhe. Asikho isidingo sokulahla izinto ozithandayo, imigomo, kanye nobungane ngenxa yendoda. Eqinisweni, kukwenza ube mnandi kakhulu futhi kumbonise ukuthi ngeke unamathele kuye ukuze ujabule. Lokhu kuzimela kusho ukuthi uphakeme ugqhozu lwakho kanye nemingcele yomuntu siqu. 

• Isibonelo, ungakhanseli ubusuku bakho be-yoga noma ulahle izinhlelo zakho zesikhathi eside ukuze nje utholakale ngokuthanda kwakhe 
• Ukubonisa ukuthi uyasazisa isikhathi sakho empeleni kwandisa inani lakho emehlweni akhe
• Ungenzi sengathi uswele. Yebo, mvumele abone ukuthi uyamfuna, kodwa futhi wazi ukuthi awumdingi ukuze abe nokuphila okwanelisayo

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3. Hlala uthembekile 

Ubuqiniso bubaluleke kakhulu ekudonseleni umuntu olungile kwakho. 

• Thembeka ngobuntu bakho, izinto ozithandayo, kanye nezindinganiso zakho 
• Ungalokothi wenze sengathi unesithakazelo ezintweni ongazithandanga ukuze nje umjabulise  
• Ngokufanayo, yabelana naye imibono yakho yangempela kanye nemikhuba yakho esikhundleni sokujabulisa abantu nje kuphela 

Amadoda athola abesifazane bangempela bekhanga ngoba kubonisa ukuzethemba nobuqotho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma wenza indoda ithande wena wangempela, kuzoba lula kakhulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kunokugcina ubuntu obungamanga njalo.

Angibaniki abantu ithuba lokwenza noma yini. Ngingumuntu engithandayo, futhi uma umuntu engithanda ngalokho, kuhle kakhulu. Uma engathandi, pho kungani ngingafuna ngisho nokuba umngane nabo?

- Umsebenzisi we-Reddit

Isibonelo

Uhlale uya ekilasini lokupenda ngoLwesine. 

• Uma umfana omthandayo ebuza ukuthi ukhululekile yini ngalobo busuku, uyambonga bese uphakamisa ukuthi nihlangane ngoLwesihlanu esikhundleni salokho. Awuyeki ikilasi lakho. Uyabona ukuthi uyazazisa isimiso sakho futhi manje usefuna ukwazi okwengeziwe ngawe. 
• Ngosuku lokuhlangana, ukhuluma iqiniso ngokuthi awazi okuningi ngomdlalo wakhe awuthandayo, kodwa umcela ukuthi akufundise izinto eziyisisekelo esikhundleni sokuzenza uchwepheshe. 
• Ekupheleni kobusuku, usehlabeke umxhwele ngokuzethemba kwakho kanye nokwethembeka kwakho

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4. Bonisa isithakazelo esicashile nesiqotho 

Akudingeki uphumele obala uvume imizwa yakho. Kunalokho, kungcono ukukhombisa isithakazelo sakho ngezenzo ezincane kodwa ezicacile. 

• Bhekana emehlweni ngendlela efudumele ngaphesheya kwegumbi bese umomotheka ngobungane
• Hlala phansi lapho ukhuluma naye
• Mbheke ngomzimba wakho
• Futhi mhlawumbe zama ukuthinta kancane engalweni yakhe ngesikhathi sengxoxo

enjalo ukudlala ngothando okucashile futhi izimpawu ezingezona ezomlomo zithi uyakujabulela ukuba naye. cwaningo bathole ukuthi ukuxhumana emehlweni kusebenza njengophawu olubalulekile lokukhangana kothando lapho uhlangana nomlingani othandana naye. Umqondo uwukumenza azizwe enokunaka kwakho okuhle: 

• Hleka ngamahlaya akhe
• Qhuba ikhanda uma ekhuluma
• Futhi bonisa intshiseko 

Lezi zimpawu zithinta ubugovu bakhe kancane, okwanele ukumenza acabange, “Hmm, kubonakala sengathi uyakuthanda ukukhuluma nami…”

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5. Sebenzisa ulimi lomzimba oluhle 

Indlela oziphethe ngayo ibaluleke kakhulu ezingeni lesithakazelo somfana. 

• Gcina ukuma okuvulekile ukuze ubonakale ukhululekile futhi unomusa; ungaphambanisi izingalo noma ucashe ngemuva kocingo lwakho
• Mamatheka ngokwemvelo bese ubeka umzimba wakho kuye. Ukuma okuvulekile kunikeza imfudumalo futhi kwenza kube lula ngaye ukusondela kuwe 
• Ukuze ukhuphuke kancane, ungalingisa ngisho nezimpawu zakhe ngendlela engabonakali. Isibonelo, uma ephuza isiphuzo sakhe noma ekhothamela phambili, nawe wenza okufanayo ngemva kwesikhashana.

Okubalulekile ukuthi ube ngokwemvelo ngakho. Uma komzimba kukhombisa ukuthi ukhululekile futhi ugxile kuye, kwandisa ubudlelwano phakathi kwenu.

Ukuze udlale ngomzimba wakho, ufuna ukuwela imilenze yakho ukuze unyawo lwakho oluphezulu lukhombe kumuntu onjalo. Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi ugxile kuye (akuyona into ecacile). Uma unezinwele ezinde, zishelele eceleni bese ubonisa intamo yakho (kubonisa ubuthakathaka). Kancane futhi ngezikhathi ezimfushane, thinta ingalo yakhe/ihlombe/isandla/ithanga lakhe njalo lapho uveza iphuzu noma uhleka ihlaya.”

- Umsebenzisi we-Reddit

6. Mncome 

Ukuthopha okuncane okuqotho kuzomjabulisa futhi kumenze ahlanganise imizwa emihle nawe. 

• Khomba into oyithandayo ngempela 
• Ukuncoma okukhethekile kusebenza kahle kakhulu, isibonelo, “Usingathe kahle kakhulu leso simo emsebenzini” noma “Umculo wakho owuthandayo uyamangalisa” 
• Iningi labafana alivamile ukuthola noma yikuphi ukunconywa, ngakho-ke uma bekuthola, bayakudla konke 
• Kodwa qiniseka ukuthi awukwenzi ngokweqile. Ukuncoma okukodwa noma okubili ngesikhathi esifanele kuzwakala kuthandeka, kodwa ukuncoma njalo kungakwenza ubukeke uphelelwe yithemba 
• Gxila ezimfanelweni aziqhenya ngazo futhi umazise ukuthi uyaqaphela 

Lokhu kuthuthukiswa okuncane kokuzethemba kwakhe kuzomenza azizwe ethandwa futhi kubonise ukuthi uyambona; lokhu kuzomqinisa kakhulu ukukhangwa ngokomzwelo kuwe.

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Isibonelo 

Ephathini lomngane, uhlala eduze komuntu omthandayo kusofa. 

• Ubhekene naye, umshaye ihlombe ngokudlala uma ehlekisa, bese ubamba amehlo ngenkathi exoxa ngezindaba zakhe zokuhamba 
• Njengoba wonke umuntu exoxa, ngezinye izikhathi ubuyisela amandla akhe okwethemba; uma ehleka futhi egoba phambili, nawe wenza okufanayo. 
• Uma ekhuluma ngempumelelo yakhe yamuva nje, uthinta ingalo yakhe kancane bese uthi, “Halala, lokho kuyamangalisa ngempela!” 

Akukho nakunye kwalokhu kushukuma okungaphezu kwamandla, kodwa uma kwenziwa ndawonye kubonisa ngokusobala ukuthi unesithakazelo. Cishe uzobona isimo sengqondo sakho solimi lomzimba kanye namazwi akho anomusa, bese eqala ukuphendula ngendlela efanayo.

7. Buza imibuzo enengqondo 

Indlela elula yokusondelana naye ukumkhuthaza ukuba akhulume ngaye. Abantu bathanda ukukhuluma ngabo, njengoba kumelwe ukuthi uke wezwa. Ngakho-ke, bonisa ilukuluku ngempilo yakhe. 

• Buza imibuzo evulekile mayelana nezinto azithandayo, ubuntwana bakhe, imibono yakhe ngezinto - bese ulalela ngempela izimpendulo 
• Mhlawumbe ubuza, “Ngikubone udlala isiginci ngaphambilini. Yini ekufake kuso?” noma “Uke wabona ama-movie amahle muva nje?” 
• Uma ethola lesi sikhala ukuze abelane ngaso, uzozizwa ethakazelisa futhi eyigugu, futhi njengebhonasi, ungase uthole nokuthi izithakazelo ezifanayo lokho kunisondeza nobabili 

"Thola lokho akuthandayo bese ubuza imibuzo eminingi ngakho. Uzoba nomdlandla futhi ajabule ngokukhuluma ngakho futhi uzokuhlanganisa nalowo muzwa nawe."

- Umsebenzisi we-Reddit

8. Lalela ngenkuthalo futhi ukhumbule imininingwane 

Uma ekhuluma, mlalelisise ngokuphelele. Beka kude noma yiziphi iziphazamiso, njengocingo lwakho, futhi ube khona. 

• Sebenzisa imishwana eqinisekisayo 
• Phinda futhi uvume lokho akushoyo ngezikhathi ezithile ukuze ubonise ukuthi ulalele ngempela 
• Gcina izinto ezibalulekile azixoxayo bese uziveza kamuva ukuze ubonise ukuthi uyazikhumbula 

Lezi zenzo zimbonisa ukuthi uyawazisa amazwi akhe. Ukuba isilaleli esihle kubalulekile ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo ukukhula, ngoba uzozizwa eqondwa futhi ehlonishwa.

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9. Bonisa ukwazisa ngamandla akhe nemizamo yakhe 

Ngaphandle kokuthandana okungatheni, mtshele ukuthi uyaziqaphela izinto ezinhle azenzayo. 

• Ingabe ukusizile wena noma omunye umuntu? Mbonge bese umtshela ukuthi lokho kube nomusa kangakanani 
• Uma ekhuluma ngomgomo wakhe siqu noma into aziqhenya ngayo, mkhuthaze 

Amadoda avame ukuba nemizwa ejulile lapho umuntu ebenza bazizwe bethandwa futhi bethandwa. Ngokugqamisa lokho okuthandayo ngaye, umnika ukuzethemba okwengeziwe.

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Isibonelo 

• Ngesikhathi sokudla kwakusihlwa, uyambuza, “Pho, yini eyakwenza wanquma ukufunda ubunjiniyela?” Amehlo akhe ayakhanya futhi ugcina ekutshela ngendlela evusa amadlingozi ngokuthanda iLego kwasebuntwaneni. 
• Ulalela ngokucophelela, uhleka izingxenye ezihlekisayo bese uthi “Kuhle lokho” ngezinto azifezile 
• Kamuva, ukutshela ngengxoxo yomsebenzi ezayo akhathazekile ngayo
• Uyakhumbula le mininingwane emincane futhi umfisela inhlanhla ngosuku olulandelayo. Umangazwe kakhulu ukuthi ukhumbule 
• Uma niphinde nihlangana, nibuza ukuthi kuhambe kanjani bese nigubha impumelelo yakhe 

By ukukhombisa ukukhathalela ngempilo yakhe, umenze wazizwa ebonakala ngempela; umuzwa obeka isisekelo sothando.

10. Mnike isikhala 

Isisho esithi 'okuncane kukhulu' sisebenza ngempela ekuqomeni. Kungase kuzwakale kuphambene nalokho okushiwoyo, kodwa ngilalele. Melana nesifiso sokuxhumana amahora angu-24 ngosuku noma ukuchitha isikhathi sonke ndawonye. Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani menze akukhumbule, impendulo iwukuphila impilo yakho futhi ngezinye izikhathi ungatholakali. Ngokumnika indawo, uvumela ukulangazelela nokulangazelela kukhule. Vele, ungakwenzi ngokweqile, ngoba angase acabange ukuthi uyamshiya.

• Vumela usuku noma ezimbili zidlule ngaphandle kokuthumela imiyalezo kuqala, noma uqede i-hangout ngesizotha kusenesikhathi ngoba unezinye izinhlelo 
• Uzoqala ukuzibuza ukuthi wenzani, ngendlela enhle 
• Futhi khumbula, lokhu akukhona ukudlala imidlalo enonya noma ukungamnaki; asivumelani namaqhinga anjalo. Empeleni kumayelana nokungawuvali umnyama. Ukukhanga kwangempela kudinga indawo yokuphefumula.

Njengoba isisho sithi, ukungabikho kuzokwenza inhliziyo yakhe ijabule. Futhi uma kungenjalo, cishe wayengenaso isithakazelo kangako kwasekuqaleni.

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11. Sekela imigomo yakhe futhi ugubhe ukuwina kwakhe 

Bonisa ukuthi uqotho ohlangothini lwakhe. 

• Yiba nesithakazelo kulowo msebenzi omkhulu asebenza kuwo noma iligi yakhe yebhola lezinyawo yangempelasonto, bese umkhuthaza
• Uma ekutshela nganoma yiziphi izivivinyo noma imihlangano ezayo, thumela umyalezo wenhlanhla ngokushesha 
• Mbongele ngezinto azifezile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zincane kangakanani 

Lolu hlobo lokusekelwa ngokomzwelo lukwenza ubukeke njengomlingani omuhle wesikhathi esizayo. Uzozizwa ekhululekile ukukuvulela isifuba uma azi ukuthi uyamkholelwa.

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12. Vula futhi wabelane ngawe 

Ubuthakathaka kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kokusondelana kubalulekile ukuze ukukhangana kukhule, ngakho ungesabi ukumvumela ukuthi azi wena wangempela. 

• Njengoba ukhuluma, kancane kancane wabelane ngezindaba zakho, imibono kanye nemizwa; lokhu kuyamsiza ukuxhumana nawe ezingeni elijulile
• Isibonelo, uma ekhumbula inkumbulo yakhe yobuntwana, ungase uhlanganyele nendaba ehlekisayo yasebuntwaneni bakho.
• Unganqikazi ukuveza ubuntu bakho obungcolile, izinto ozithandayo, ngisho nohlangothi lwakho olubucayi uma isikhathi silungile
• Ukutholakala ngokomzwelo kungakusiza ukuthi uhluke kwabanye abaxoxa ngokungajulile kuphela 
• Kodwa-ke, kubaluleke ngokufanayo ukuziqeqesha. Akudingeki ukuthi ulahle yonke indaba yakho yokuphila ngosuku lwesibili; lokho kungaba yinto exakile. 

Isibonelo

Indoda yakho ibilokhu imatasa kakhulu emsebenzini kuleli sonto. 

• Esikhundleni sokufuna ukunakwa kwakhe, uthumela umyalezo osekelayo bese umvumela ukuthi agxile
• Ngemva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa, uyakufonela, ejabule kakhulu ukukhuluma njengoba isikhathi sakhe sokugcina sesidlulile. Uthi ukukukhumbule, futhi ungabona ukuthi ukumnika isikhala kube nenzuzo. 
• Uma nihlangana, uyakutshela ukuthi kwakukucindezela kangakanani, futhi wena uzwelana futhi uxoxe ngendaba efanayo evela emsebenzini wakho. 
• Uyaqaphela ukuthi uyasiqonda isidingo sakhe sesikhala nokuthi uthola isifiso sakhe

13. Letha amahlaya bese udala okuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe 

Ukuhleka kuyisithako esibalulekile eresiphi yokuthandana. 

• Mdlalise ngokudlala
• Shintsha izindaba ezihlekisayo
• Noma wabelane ngama-memes ahlekisayo 

Ukujabulela amahlaya ndawonye kwenza ubuhlobo obuyingqayizivele. Ukuhleka okuhle kungadala isimo esihle nesijabulisayo esimenza afune ukubuya ukuze athole okwengeziwe. Ungazibambi. Yiba nesibindi, vumela uhlangothi lwakho oluhlekisayo luphume, engeza isivinini enkambweni yakho, ujabule. Kanye nokuhleka, yenza izinkumbulo ndawonye: 

• Qhubeka nohambo olujabulisayo
• Zama umsebenzi omusha
• Noma thola into oyithandayo efanayo

Lokho okuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe kuba amahlaya akho angaphakathi nezindaba, okwenza ubudlelwano bakho bube yizwe labo elikhethekile. Amadoda avame ukuthanda owesifazane oba ngumuntu abamthandayo ukuzijabulisa naye.

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14. Yiba ngumuntu ohilelekile engqondweni

Ukukhanga ngokomzimba kungase kudonse ukunaka kwakhe kodwa ngeke kukwenze kuqhubeke. Ngenxa yalokho, udinga ukuxhumana kwengqondo. 

• Vuselela ingqondo yakhe ngokuba izingxoxo ezijulile 
• Xoxa ngefilimu evusa imicabango
• Buza umbono wakhe ngesenzakalo samanje esithakazelisayo
• Xoxani ngokudlala ngokuthi yikuphi ukugcoba kwe-pizza okungcono kakhulu
• Bonisa ulwazi lwakho kanye nezinto ozithandayo ngokuzethemba 

Amadoda afuna owesifazane ongabaphonsela inselelo kancane engqondweni noma abafundise okuthile okusha. Ngakho-ke xoxani kancane, wabelane ngemibono yenu, futhi nibe nesithakazelo kuye.

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15. Hlala uqotho futhi uqine ngokuhamba kwesikhathi 

Esinye sezinto ezikhanga kakhulu ukungaguquguquki okulula. Amadoda akhangwa umuntu onokwethenjelwa noqotho, kunokuba athande umuntu oshisayo nobandayo. 

• Uma unothando futhi ufudumele ngoMsombuluko, ungazehlukanisi ngoLwesibili “njengovivinyo” 
• Kunalokho, mbonise ukuthi umuntu okhathalelayo nojabulisayo aqala ukumazi unguwe wangempela
• Landela izwi lakho 
• Gcina izinga elifanayo lenhlonipho nesithakazelo owalibonisa ekuqaleni 

Ukuvumelana kuyadingeka ukuze kwakhiwe ukwethembana. Udinga ukwazi ukuthi angathembela kuwe uma ekubona njengomlingani wesikhathi esizayo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imfudumalo yakho eqinile kanye nobuqotho bakho kuzokwenza qinisa isibopho sakho.

Isibonelo

• Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuthandana, wena nomfana wakho nizakhele izikhathi eziningi "ezimbalwa"; njengalapho nithathe uhambo lwempelasonto ngokuzithandela futhi nagcina nicula izingoma zama-90 ndawonye amahora amaningi. 
• Unamahlaya angaphakathi ahlekisayo 
• Ujabulela nezingxoxo ezinde. Kulolo hambo lomgwaqo, nixoxe ngohlu lwenu lwezinto zokuhamba kanye namaphupho enu obuntwana 
• Kukho konke lokhu, uhlale uthembekile kuwe: umuntu ojabulisayo, onelukuluku, nothembekile amthandayo

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Ekugcineni, imidlalo yengqondo noma izenzo ezinkulu akuzona impendulo yokuthi ungamenza kanjani umuntu wesilisa akuthande. Esihlokweni, sikukhombisile ukuthi ukuheha umuntu okhethekile kusho ukuthi uqotho, uhloniphane, futhi ujabule ukuba naye. Ngamanye amazwi, gxila ekwakheni ukukhangana kanye nokwethembana, futhi ngeke kudingeke ukhathazeke ngokuthi ungenza kanjani umuntu akuxoshe; indoda enhle izokujabulela ukuza kuwe uma izwa inhlansi yangempela.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.