Isimo Vs Ubudlelwano: Ingabe Omunye Ungaholela Komunye?

Igama elithi 'isimo' lilisha uma kuqhathaniswa nezwe lokuthandana futhi incazelo yalo ayikacaci kahle. Eqinisweni, okukodwa kuzo zonke izimo ukungaqondakali. Lokho umehluko omkhulu esimweni uma kuqhathaniswa nobudlelwano - ukucaca, noma ukuntuleka kwakho.

Ukuze siqonde kabanzi ngokuthi iyini umehluko phakathi kwezimo nobudlelwano uma kuqhathaniswa nezimo, sixhumane nodokotela wezifo zengqondo oseCalifornia kanye nochwepheshe wezokwelapha ngokuziphatha kwengqondo, uDkt. Shefali Batra (MD kwezokwelapha ngengqondo), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngokwehlukana nesehlukaniso, ukuhlukana nokuthandana, kanye nezinkinga zokuhambisana ngaphambi komshado.

Siyini Isimo?

Isimo siyilungiselelo elingenayo incazelo ecacile. Ungase uchithe isikhathi nomlingani wakho, uze usondelane, kodwa akukho gama elinikezwe lobu budlelwano. Kusobala ukuthi ningaphezu kwabangane nje , kodwa ingabe niyintombi/isoka? Uma lokhu kubonakala njengombuzo oyinkimbinkimbi khona-ke ungase ube sesimweni esithile, hhayi ebudlelwaneni.

Lo msebenzisi we-Reddit uchaze kahle impendulo ethi “Kuyini isimo?”. “Ngokuyisisekelo kuyisivumelwano sokuthandana okungahleliwe lapho umuntu oyedwa noma bobabili bechitha isikhathi eside baze bathole okungcono. Ngezinye izikhathi omunye wabo akazi ukuthi kunjalo.”

Isimo siyileso simo esididayo phakathi 'kwebangane nje' 'nasebuhlotsheni obuzibophezele."

– UDkt. Shefali Batra, udokotela wengqondo

Kodwa-ke ubona kanjani uma usesimweni esibucayi? Nazi ezinye izimpawu zesimo njengoDkt. Batra:

• Uhlala "ublomile" esikhundleni sokuya ngezinsuku zangempela zothando
• Izingxoxo mayelana "nekusasa" zenza oyedwa noma nobabili nijuluke futhi isihloko sivame ukugwenywa ngeziphazamiso ezingazelelwe njengokuthi, "Oh, bheka, inja enhle!" noma “Masi-ode i-nachos!”
• Kukhona ukuntula okucashile kwamalebula namagama anjengokuthi “isoka” noma “intombi” awavumelekile
• Ukuxhumana kwakho kuyaguquguquka, kunemibhalo ehambisana nama-emoji nokuthula — umzuzu owodwa ugeleza njengezinkondlo bese olandelayo unyamalala sengathi ifoni yakho iwele embobeni emnyama.
• Isibopho sakho sigcwele amasiginali ahlanganisiwe - Ngelinye ilanga bangene bonke, ngakusasa base-MIA, bakushiye uzizwa sengathi udlala umdlalo Umkhondo ukuqonda ukuthi wonke amasu asho ukuthini

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokuzibophezela - Ukuphoxeka Kuyakuthanda

Uma lezi zimpawu zizwakala zijwayelekile, kungenzeka ukuthi usesimweni esibucayi, hhayi ubudlelwano. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, awuwedwa. Izimo zivame kakhulu ekuqomeni kwesimanje futhi azimbi neze uma ulungile ngokungaqondakali futhi ufuna ukujabulela isikhathi. Izimo zingase zidide, kodwa hey, azivamile ukuba nesicefe! 

Kodwa-ke, uma ufuna ubudlelwano obuqinile , ungachithi isikhathi esiningi ngaphambi kokuba nengxoxo ethi “Siyini?” ukuze ucacise izinhloso zakho futhi uqede izinto uma imigomo yabo ingahambisani neyakho.

Buyini Ubudlelwano?

Ubuhlobo, ngendlela yabo elula, ukuxhumana phakathi kwabantu ababili okwakhelwe phezu kokuthandana, ukuzibophezela, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe. Kungaphezu nje kochungechunge lwezinsuku noma indlela ekahle yokuba nomngane we-Netflix—indawo lapho abantu ababili bezulazula khona ngobuhle, ukwehla, kanye nokuthi “ingabe kufanele siphume futhi?” izikhathi ndawonye. 

Kodwa wazi kanjani ukuthi usebudlelwaneni bangempela futhi awugcini nje ngokunamathela kwelinye igama elidumile lokuthandana? Nazi ezinye izimpawu zobudlelwano ongazibheka, njengoba kusikisela uDkt. Batra:

• Uqala ukwazi izinqubo zansuku zonke zomunye nomunye ngekhanda—njengokuthi balidinga kanjani ikhofi labo ngo-8:07 am noma ukuthi bahlala kanjani beqa ibhulakufesi ngoba bashiywa yisikhathi.
• Uqala ukusebenzisa izitatimende ezithi 'thina' ngaphandle kokuqaphela—“Kufanele sizame leyo ndawo entsha ye-sushi,” noma “Siyawuzonda uphayinaphu ku-pizza,” ngisho noma ngasese ungenandaba nakho.
• Zifakwa ngokuzenzakalelayo ezinhlelweni zakho — “Gcina uMgqibelo wakho ucacile ngesonto elizayo, kufanele siye emshadweni womzala wami” 
• Izinkinga zabo ziba izinkinga zakho—njengalapho ikati labo lithola i-hairball, futhi ngandlela thize, uwena obhuqabhuqabhuqa u-Googling “ukudla kwekati okungcono kakhulu kokuvikela i-hairball.” 
• Nijabulela ukwenza izinto eziyisicefe ndawonye—ukuthenga igrosa, ukuhlela kabusha ikhabethe ngesikhathi seshumi nambili, noma ukuhlala uthule kuyilapho nobabili niskrola amafoni enu. 

Uma lezi zimpawu zizwakala zijwayelekile, siyakuhalalisela, usebudlelwaneni!—noma, okungenani, ngokuphika ngakho.

Isimo Vs Ubudlelwano: 8 Umehluko Obalulekile

Njengoba sekucacisiwe ngezimpawu ezibalulwe ngenhla, isimo uma kuqhathaniswa nobudlelwano imiqondo ehluke kakhulu. Nakuba ubudlelwano busekelwe ekucaciseni nasekuzinikeleni, izimo zigcwele ukungaqondakali. Ukucacisa kabanzi, nansi eminye imininingwane yomehluko ebudlelwaneni obuqhathaniswa nesimo:

1. Ukuzibophezela

UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ukuzinikela ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthi nobabili nizoshada isikhathi eside, kuyilapho nisesimweni esibucayi, nimane nje nigibele igagasi.” Ubudlelwano bubandakanya ukuzibophezela okusobala - kuyacaca ukuthi ozakwethu bahlose ukuba ndawonye esikhathini eside. Baxoxa ngezinhlelo zesikhathi esizayo futhi bazibekele imigomo ndawonye. Kunalokho, esimweni esithile, ukuzibophezela akulula futhi kuvame ukungaqondakali, okukushiya ungaqiniseki ngokuthi izinto zibhekephi.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Amathiphu ayi-12 Okunqoba Izinkinga Zokuzibophezela

I-2. Ezokuxhumana

Ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kufana nomshini onamafutha amaningi—konke kuhamba kahle. Nixoxa ngamacebo, imizwa, ngisho nohlobo loju eniluthandayo nobabili. Esimweni esithile, ukuxhumana kufana nokuzama ukufunda ama-hieroglyphics. Imiyalezo ingaba yimfihlakalo noma igcwele ama-emoji akushiye udidekile.

Lo msebenzisi we-Reddit wabelane ngendaba yakhe yesimo. “Indoda engaya kuyo ngezikhathi ezimbalwa futhi ngachitha izinyanga eziningi ingithumelela imiyalezo, ngaphandle kokwenza uhlelo – ngolunye usuku nganquma ukwenza kanjalo, futhi lapho ngihlangana, kwaba nobudlelwano obuningi nokukhanga. weza eshisa kakhulu wangitshela ukuthi ube nesikhathi esingakanani esimangalisayo, nokuthi wayefuna kangakanani ukungibona futhi. Kodwa akazange aphendule ezicelweni zami zokuthi “ngikhululekile ngoLwesithathu nangoLwesine ebusuku kuleli sonto, ngazise ukuthi yini ekusebenzelayo” amasonto amathathu ngakho ngamcela ukuba ayeke ukungithinta.”

"Ukukhulumisana okucacile kungamandla amakhulu obudlelwano, kuyilapho isimo sizwakala njengomdlalo ongapheli wama-charades." – UDkt. Shefali Batra (MD kwezengqondo), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngokwehlukana nesehlukaniso, ukuhlukana nokuphola, kanye nezindaba zokuhambisana ngaphambi komshado

3. Ukuba khona kwezokuxhumana

Omunye umehluko phakathi kwezimo nobudlelwano yizinga lokuba khona ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Ngokuvamile, ubudlelwano buboniswa obala ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngokusebenzisa:

• Izithombe ezimnandi zombhangqwana
• Izithombe zezipho ezishintshiwe
• Izifiso zosuku lokuzalwa njengezindaba noma okuthunyelwe
• Izibuyekezo zesimo mayelana namadethi
• Ukubuyekezwa kwesimo sobudlelwano ku-facebook, njll. 

Ngezinye izikhathi lawa macebiso angaba angaqondile ngisho. Benginomngani owayengathandi ukuthumela ubuso bakhe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Lapho eqala ukuthandana, wavele waqala ukuthumela izinkondlo zothando nokwabelana ngokuthunyelwe kothando ezindabeni zakhe. Iphuzu liwukuthi ngokuvamile ufuna abalandeli bakho bazi ukuthi usebudlelwaneni.

Isimo, nokho, sivamise ukugcinwa kuyimfihlo, ukuba khona okuncane noma kungabikho nhlobo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Ungashintshanisa ukuthanda noma ukuphawula okungacacile, kodwa ukusondelana kuhlala kuyimfihlo egcinwe kahle.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Indlela Imidiya Yezokuxhumana Ethinta Ngayo Ubudlelwano Bakho

4. Ukutshalwa kwezimali ngokomzwelo

Ukutshalwa kwezimali ngokomzwelo umehluko omkhulu ekuqomeni uma kuqhathaniswa nesimo. Ebudlelwaneni, abalingani banikeza ukusekelana ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye. Bagubha ukunqoba kwabo ndawonye, ​​​​baduduzana ngemva kosuku olunzima, bathintwa isimo somunye nomunye futhi bayayikhathalela impilo yomlingani wabo. 

Lokhu kusekelwa ngokuvamile akukho esimweni esithile. Futhi lokho kuhle uma bobabili ozakwethu belungile ngaleli lungiselelo. Inkinga iba lapho omunye umlingani elindele ukuthi omunye atshalwe ngokomzwelo kodwa omunye aphile kahle ngokuba senhlelweni nje.

UDkt. Batra ukuchaza kanje, “Ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo kuyisisekelo sobudlelwane, kuyilapho isimo singazizwa njenge-rollercoaster engokomzwelo engenawo umugqa wokuphepha.”

5. Impilo yomphakathi

Ebudlelwaneni, okungenani ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa, umlingani wakho ukwethula kubangani bakhe futhi ekugcineni nomndeni ngokunjalo. Bafuna abantu empilweni yabo bazi ngawe futhi ngokuphambene nalokho. Nakuba uzakwethu wesimo sezulu ekhetha ukukugcina ungaziwa. Bangase batshele abangani babo ngesimo ngokwaso kodwa bangabaze ukudalula ubuwena kubo.

6. Ukukhethekile

Ukuzihlukanisa kuyisibonakaliso esikhulu sobudlelwano uma kuqhathaniswa nesimo. Ebuhlotsheni obuningi bendabuko, abalingani bayavuma ukuba ngabakhethekile futhi bangaboni omunye umuntu. Ngisho nangaphandle kobudlelwano obufana nobudlelwano obuthanda abantu abaningi noma obuvulekile , imigomo yokungazihlukanisi ixoxwa kahle futhi kuvunyelwane ngayo yibo bobabili abalingani. Ngokuphambene nalokho, abantu abasesimweni esithile bavame ukungabi nenkulumo ethi “ingabe sihlukile?”, okushiya izinto zidida.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Ukuqomisana Okukhethekile: Akuyona Impela Imayelana Nobuhlobo Obuzibophezele

7. Ukuhlela ikusasa

Omunye umehluko phakathi kokuthandana nokwesimo ukuhlela ikusasa. Ubuhlobo besikhathi eside buhilela ukuhlela ikusasa - buhamba kuphi ubuhlobo? Ingabe umshado uyingxenye yesilinganiso sethu? Ingabe sivulelekile emcabangweni wokuba nezingane ngelinye ilanga? Kwenzekani uma omunye wethu kufanele athuthele emsebenzini? Yonke le mibuzo ixoxwa ngezikhathi ezifanele ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kokungabaza.

Isimo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, sakhelwe phezu kokungacaci kahle. Azikho izingxoxo eziba khona ngezihloko ezibucayi, akukho mingcele ebekiwe, izinhloso azicaciswanga — ubambiswano luqhutshwa ngendlela nje futhi ngeke wazi ukuthi ukuhlukana kwesimo kukuvimbezela nini.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Imibuzo Engu-25 Okufanele Uyibuze Ngaphambi Komshado Okufanele Ilungiselelwe Ikusasa

8. Ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana

UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ukuxazulula izingxabano ebudlelwaneni kuyasebenza futhi kuthambekele eqenjini, kanti isimo singakushiya ubambe ongezansi kwesaga.” Uma nibhekene nengxabano ebudlelwaneni niyasebenzisana nobabili ukuxazulula inkinga niphume ninamandla ngoba inhloso wukuhlala ndawonye isikhathi eside. 

Kodwa-ke, isimo asinayo imali edingekayo ukuze kuxazululwe izingxabano ezivuthiwe . Noma ngabe inkinga isusiwe bese nobabili nenza sengathi akwenzekanga lutho, noma ingxabano iphela ngokuhlukana kwesimo.

Ingabe Isimo Singaphenduka Ubudlelwano?

Uma uqaphela ukuthi usesimweni esibucayi, umbuzo wokuqala okufanele uvele ekhanda lakho uthi “Singakwazi yini ukuqhubekela phambili ukusuka kulesi simo siye ebudlelwaneni?” Kuyavela ukuthi ungakwazi, kodwa izimpawu zokuthi izophenduka ubudlelwano ingase ingabi qondile njenge-rom-com plotline. 

Isibonelo, lo msebenzisi we-Reddit wabelane ngendaba yokuthi isimo sakhe saphenduka kanjani saba ubudlelwano. “Sasibe nezikhathi eziningi ezinhle zokuqomisana ngaphambi kokuba ‘nengxoxo’, futhi wayekhuluma iqiniso futhi efisa ukuphumula nokubona ukuthi kuhamba kanjani….Nami ngangingafuni lutho kodwa ngaqaphela amathuba akhona ngiseyingane. Nokho, ngagcina isimo sengqondo sokuqomisana esilula nesijabulisayo. Manje sesindawonye futhi sijabule.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Lubukeka Kanjani Uthando Lweqiniso Ebudlelwaneni?

Lapho sibuza uDkt. Batra ngalokhu, wasikisela amathiphu alandelayo okuqondisa isimo sibe ubudlelwano obuzinikele.

• Qalani ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye: Ungamane unamathele kuma-hangouts asebusuku kakhulu noma ukuhlangana okungahleliwe. Hlela i uhambo lwasebusuku, noma uphakamise ubusuku bedethi obujwayelekile. Uma nobabili nenza isikhathi sobabili, nizobona ukuthi lesi simo sifanele ukuthuthukiswa yini

• Bazise kubangani bakho futhi uhlangane nezabo: Akusekho ukucasha ethunzini noma ukuba “lowo muntu” abake babalula. Bameme emisebenzini yakho yeqembu futhi ubakhuthaze ukuba bakumeme nawe. Uma wonke umuntu eqala ukwenza amahlaya ngesimo sezithandani zenu, kungezinye zezimpawu zokuthi kuzophenduka ubuhlobo

• Have izingxoxo ezijulile: Ukuze uguqule isimo sakho sibe ubuhlobo, Ungagcini nje ngokukhuluma ngochungechunge lwakamuva ozitika ngalo noma ukuthi yini yesidlo sakusihlwa. Yabelana ngamaphupho akho, izinto ezisabisayo, nezinto ezixakile ozenzayo lapho uwedwa. Uma basenentshisekelo ngemuva kokuzwa ukuthi ucula eshaweni, kukhona okuthize

• Hlela izinto kusengaphambili: Gwema izinhlelo zeminithi lokugcina noma “usuvuka?” imiyalezo. Qala ukusetha amadethi angempela isonto noma amabili ngaphambili. Uma sebephakathi kokuhlela impilo yabo eduze nawe, uzokwazi ukuthi lesi simo siba sikhulu

• Qala inkulumo yokukhetha kuphela: Yebo kuyasabeka kodwa uma uzizwa ubuze ukuthi bayibona kanjani lento. Uma bengathukile futhi esikhundleni salokho bancike, uqonde ngqo esimweni sobudlelwano

Lezi zinyathelo zizokusiza ukuthi usuke esimweni uye ebudlelwaneni — noma okungenani zikwazise uma sekuyisikhathi sokudlulela phambili. Noma iyiphi indlela, usuzothola umbono othile!

imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final 

Kunomehluko omkhulu esimweni uma kuqhathaniswa nobudlelwano. Nakuba ubudlelwano busekelwe ekuzibophezeleni nasekucaciseni, isimo senziwa ngezici ezingacacisiwe. Okunye umehluko omkhulu wokuphola uma kuqhathaniswa nezimo kuhlanganisa izinga lokutshalwa kwezimali ngokomzwelo, ukuba yedwa okuvunyelwene ngakho, ukuhlela ikusasa, indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano, njll. Nokho, isimo singashintsha sibe ubuhlobo uma ababambiqhaza benza umzamo wokwazana kangcono futhi behileleka kakhulu ezimpilweni zomunye nomunye.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.