Izibopho Zomphefumulo Ongamesabi UNkulunkulu Zikugcina Ubambekile? Funda Ukuthi Ungawaphula Kanjani

Ingabe ukuleyo ndawo engathandeki empilweni yakho lapho naphezu kokuba usothandweni, awukwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga nokuzibuka nge-ex? Ithi ulele eduze kwesithandwa sakho, kodwa ingqondo yakho igijimela imicabango ye-ex yakho eduze kwakho, yenza noma isho izinto ezikuyisa esimweni sokujabula. Noma uthandana nomuntu wakho kodwa emqondweni wakho ulala ne ex yakho? Noma uma ubambe isandla somlingani wakho, ucabanga ukuthi yi-ex yakho eceleni kwakho? Lawa maphupho ahlabayo ayizimpawu zokuthi unobudlelwano obungamesabi uNkulunkulu nalo muntu. 

Uma ubheka ukuthi ubuphila kanjani ukuphila okuhambisanayo, okucatshangwayo nomuntu ongasahlali nawe, ungabona ukuthi ukuthandeka okunjalo kungaphazamisa kanjani ikhono lakho lokwakha ubuhlobo obuyiqiniso nobunempilo, futhi uqhubekele phambili ngempela empilweni yakho. Zikugcina unamathele esikhathini esidlule futhi zilimaza inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo nengokomoya. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuqaphela ubungozi bezibopho zomphefumulo futhi usebenzele ukugqashula kuzo. Ake sijule ekusebenzeni kwalezi zibopho zomphefumulo ezinobuthi ukuze uqonde ukuthi ubhekene nani futhi uthathe izinyathelo eziqinile zokunqamula izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu. 

Ziyini Izibopho Zemiphefumulo Engamesabi UNkulunkulu?

Izibopho zomphefumulo zifana nezintambo ezingabonakali ezikuxhumanisa nothile. Umqeqeshi ongokomoya uRebecca Paulson uyachaza, “Izibopho zomphefumulo ziyizintambo ezingabonakali ezibophela inhliziyo, ingqondo nomoya wakho komunye umuntu. Ngokusobala, izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu ziwela esigabeni sesibili. Kodwa ziyini ngempela izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu, futhi zakhiwa kanjani? 

 Izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu zingachazwa njengezibopho ezingokomzwelo, ezingokomoya, noma ezingokwenyama ezikuxhumanisa nomuntu ngendlela enomthelela omubi empilweni yakho, evimbela ukukhula komuntu siqu noma inhlalakahle yokomoya. Iwukuxhumana okungokomoya nomuntu okwakhiwa ukujula ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo, ukusondelana ngokocansi, noma okuhlangenwe nakho okujulile okwabiwe. 

Nakuba ubuhlobo obunjalo bemiphefumulo bungaba khona phakathi kwabazali nezingane, izelamani, abangani, abeluleki, kanye nabaqeqeshi, ngokuvamile bakheka phakathi kwabantu ababili abathandanayo kanye/noma abasondelana ngokocansi. Lokhu kuvame ukuvela ebuhlotsheni obungenampilo—lobo obusekelwe ekulawuleni, ukuxhaphaza, ukuhlukumeza, noma ngisho nokuthembela okungokomzwelo okungenakulinganisela. 

Manje lezi zibopho zomphefumulo ezinobuthi zidlala kanjani futhi zibe nomthelela empilweni yakho? Ukuze uqonde, cabanga ngalokhu: usuqede ubudlelwano bothando obunobuthi obuhlala buzwakala njengesivunguvungu sokukhuphuka nokwehla, futhi wena nomlingani wakho nisuke nisuka kolunye uhlobo olushisayo, olunothando, olungakwazi ukuzibamba kanye nesifiso ukuya kokunye okwedlulele kwezingxabano ezimbi, ezingabambeki no. ukubiza amagama, ukuklabalasa, ukukhubeka, nokuphatha imizwelo. 

Njengoba usukhathele yilo mbuthano ononya, ukhethe ukuqeda ubudlelwano kodwa awukwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga nge-ex yakho. Awufisi nje kuphela indlela ababekufisa ngayo nabakushwabadela ngayo kodwa nedrama eza nayo. Ngenxa yalokho, wonke amathemba amasha othando ohlangana nawo abonakala emfishane uma eqhathaniswa. Ungase uzithole usufuna ukuvala ngokuphindaphindiwe, naphezu kokwazi ngokujulile ukuthi ukuvalwa ngeke kuvele kubo. Lokhu kuthatheka okuqhubekayo kuyisibonelo esivelele sesibopho somphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu.

6 Izimpawu Zokuhlangana Komphefumulo Ongamesabi uNkulunkulu

Kuyacaca ukuthi ukwephula izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu kubalulekile ukuze uthole ukuzimela kwakho ngokomzwelo nangokomoya futhi uvale isahluko esinobuthi sempilo yakho ukuze uqhubekele phambili ngobuqotho bangempela. Ukuze ukwazi ukwenza lokho, udinga ukuqaphela kuqala ukuthi kungenzeka unomuntu ongamesabi uNkulunkulu noma ongenampilo ukuxhumana okungokomoya nomuntu. Nazi izimpawu eziyisithupha ezicacile nezishoyo zobudlelwane bomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu: 

1. Imicabango ekhathazayo ngomuntu

Lapho uxhumene ngokomoya nomuntu ngendlela engenampilo, ungase uzithole uhlezi ucabanga ngaye, ngisho nalapho kuphazamisa ukuphila kwakho kwansuku zonke noma kulimaza inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo. Lokhu kudlula uthando oluvamile noma ukunamathelana futhi kuzwakala njengokuthunjwa ngokomzwelo.

UPaulson uthi, “Lapho isibopho somphefumulo singamesabi uNkulunkulu, siduna imicabango yakho. Esikhundleni sokugxila enjongweni yakho, ingqondo yakho idliwa omunye umuntu.” Isibonelo, ungadlala kabusha ukusebenzisana okudlule, ucabange ngakho ukubuyisana ne ex, noma ucabange ukusabela kwabo ezinqumweni zakho zokuphila, ubonisa indlela yokucabanga ecindezelayo ewuphawu lwesibopho somphefumulo esingenampilo. 

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2. Awukwazi ukuqhubeka 

Olunye uphawu lwakudala lokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uqale ucabange ukuthi ungagqashula kanjani i-soul tie ephenduke inhlamba ukuthi awukwazi ukuqhubekela phambili ku-ex ngisho nangemva kwesikhathi eside ubuhlobo buphelile. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi i-ex yakho yayinobuthi kangakanani noma ukuthi ubuhlobo babunesiphithiphithi noma bulimaza kangakanani, ithonya labo lihlala engqondweni nasemizweni yakho. Ngenxa yalokho, noma yibuphi ubuhlobo obusha ongase ungene kubo buzwakala bungagculisi futhi wonke umlingani omusha noma amathemba othando abonakala ehluleka uma kuqhathaniswa ne-ex yakho. Akunjalo ngoba abanye abalungile ngokwanele.

Bangase babe ngcono kunomlingani wakho wangaphambili ngazo zonke izindlela kodwa uhluleke ukukubona ngoba usaboshiwe umthwalo wemizwa okwedlule, okungena endleleni yekhono lakho lokwakha ukuxhumana okuyiqiniso. Umeluleki ongokomoya uMariah Sanders uthi, “Izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu zifana namaketanga angabonakali, zikubophe kothile ngokomzwelo nangokomoya ngemva kwesikhathi eside zingasekho ekuphileni kwakho.”

3. Imizwa yecala, ihlazo, noma ukwesaba

Okunye okukhombisa ukuthi umphefumulo wakho ubambene nowomunye umuntu ngendlela engafanele ukuthi umcabango wokusuka kuye ukugcwalisa umuzwa wecala, amahloni, noma ukwesaba. Uma ucabanga ngendlela enengqondo, le mizwa ayiwenzi umqondo futhi ezingeni lobuchopho uyabona ukuthi awunangqondo kangakanani, nokho izizwa inamandla ngokwanele ukukugcina unamathele kulo muntu.

Lokhu kuguquguquka kuvame kakhulu lapho izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu zibamba ukuhlukumeza noma ubudlelwano bokukhohlisa. Umelaphi ongokomoya uGrace Monroe uyachaza, “Izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu ngokuvamile zikhula ngokuzizwa unecala nokwesaba, okukwenza ukholelwe ukuthi ukuhlehla kuzomlimaza omunye umuntu noma kufakazele ukungafaneleki kwakho.

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4. Ulokhu uphindaphinda imijikelezo engenampilo

“Lapho isibopho somphefumulo singamesabi uNkulunkulu, sidala iluphu elingokomoya,” kusho umfundisi u-Elijah Graham. "Le loop ikugcina uboshelwe kumuntu, okuphoqa ukuthi uphinde uphile amandla afanayo angenampilo ngokuphindaphindiwe." 

Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uzithole use- ubudlelwano obukhona-futhi-futhi nalo muntu lapho izingxabano nokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo kukuphoqa ukuthi uqede izinto naye ukuze nibuyisane kamuva. Kuba nesikhathi esifushane sokuhlangana okujabulisayo bese iphethini yokuziphatha okungenampilo, izingxabano, nokukhathala ngokomzwelo kuziphinda. Ufuna ukulungisa ubudlelwano bakho nabo kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama kangakanani, ubudlelwano bubonakala bulandela umbhalo onobuthi ofanayo.

5. Ukuncika ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo

Olunye uphawu lwakudala lokuthi unomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu ukuthi uzizwa sengathi uncike kuye ukuze ube khona. Ungase uthembele kuzo ukuze kuqinisekiswe, kwenziwe izinqumo, noma ukwazi ukuzazi futhi uzizwe sengathi awukwazi ukusebenza ngaphandle kwalo muntu empilweni yakho. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izibopho zomphefumulo ezinobuthi ziyalutha. Ukuqinisekiswa kwalo muntu kufana nesidakamizwa ongeke ukwazi ukusithola, futhi uma sesisusiwe kuwe, uzwa sengathi ushiywe uhefuzela.  

6. Uyekethisa kuzindinganiso noma izinkolelo zakho

Ukuxhumana komphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu kungakwenza ukhaphele izinto ezikwenza wena, wena-isimilo sakho, izinkolelo zakho, umbono wakho wezwe, kanye nezindinganiso zakho zomuntu siqu. Ungase uzithole wenza ubude obungacabangi ukuthi ungakwazi ukumane ujabulise noma uvumele lo muntu. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ugweme ukubeka imingcele nabo ngisho noma usunobunye ubudlelwano futhi ugcine wenze izinqumo eziphambene nezimiso zokuziphatha ezifana ukungathembeki ukuze nje ugcine lo muntu eduze. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kungaholela ekulahlekelweni ukuzihlonipha nokunqanyulwa ngokomoya. 

“Lapho uhlehla ezinkolelweni zakho eziyinhloko ukuze ulondoloze ubuhlobo, kuwuphawu lokuthi ukuxhumana sekulawule ukuphila kwakho,” kusho umqeqeshi wezempilo uSarah Blake, “Isibopho somphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu ngaso sonke isikhathi siyofuna okwengeziwe kuwe kunalokho esikunikezayo.”

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Ingabe Izibopho Zomphefumulo Ongamesabi UNkulunkulu Zikugcina Unamathele?

Isibopho somphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu singakugcina unamathele ngokomzwelo, ngokomoya, noma ngokobudlelwane ekuxhumaneni okungenampilo nomuntu okuvame ukubonakala njengokudonsa okungachazeki, ngisho nangemva kokuba usuziqhelelene nawe ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo. Izingozi zezibopho zomphefumulo ziwukuthi ungase uzithole udonseleka kulo muntu ngokuphindaphindiwe, naphezu kokwazi ukuthi akakufanelanga, futhi ungase uphile impilo yakho egxilile esikhathini esidlule, ngaleyo ndlela unciphise ububanzi bokuphila kwakho kube umjikelezo wokuzisola, ukudabuka, intukuthelo, noma ukulangazelela okudlala ku-loop. 

Uma uhlobana nezimpawu zezibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu, nakanjani ubhajwe obishini olungokomzwelo olukuvimbela ekwelapheni nokwamukela ngokugcwele okwamanje noma ikusasa. “Izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu zidala izihibe ezingokomzwelo nezingokomoya, zikuphoqe ukuba uphile ngendlela efanayo ama-dynamics angenampilo ngokuphindaphindiwe. Ukunqamula le mijikelezo kuyisihluthulelo sokuqhubekela phambili.” Nansi indlela lokhu kungasebenzi okubonakala ngayo ekuphileni kwakho: 

• Isiyaluyalu somzwelo: Umuntu obophene naye ngomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu uba umthombo wokukhathazeka njalo, umuzwa wecala, noma ukudabuka
• Ukungakwazi ukuyeka: Awukwazi ukubadedela futhi uzithole usubuyela kubo naphezu kokuthi wazi kahle ukuthi lobu budlelwano buyingozi kuwe.
• Ukunqanyulwa kokomoya: Uqala ukuhlukana nezinkolelo zakho ezingokomoya ukuze ukwazi ukuphila nezinqumo ozenzayo ukuze ubambelele kulo muntu. 
• Izinkinga zokuzethemba: Ubuwena noma inani lakho lichazwa ngendlela lo muntu akuphatha ngayo. Ngaphandle kokuqinisekisa kwabo, uzizwa ungelutho

Izindlela Ezi-5 Zokuzikhulula Ezibopho Zomphefumulo Ongamesabi uNkulunkulu

Akunakuphikwa iqiniso lokuthi isibopho somphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu sikuvimbela ukuba uphile impilo yakho kuze kufike ekupheleleni kwayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uxhumeke kangakanani ngokomoya noma utshalwe imali ngokomzwelo uzithola ukomunye umuntu, uma kuyimpande yalokho ukuxhumana akunampilo futhi kunobuthi, ukusika intambo ubadedele iyona ndlela yokuzisindisa. Sesikushilo lokho, siyaqaphela futhi ukuthi akulula ukuthola ukuthi ungagqashula kanjani isibopho somphefumulo esiphenduke saba ngcwele. Nokho, akwenzeki futhi. Ukukusiza, nanka amathiphu asekelwe ochwepheshe okuthi ungasusa kanjani izibopho zomphefumulo ezingenampilo:

1. Vuma futhi uhlonze isibopho somphefumulo

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokunqamula izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu ukususa ukuphika futhi uqaphele ukuxhumana okungenampilo ukuthi kuyini nokuthi kuyithinta kanjani impilo yakho. “Awukwazi ukuphulukisa lokho owenqaba ukukuvuma.” Ukuqaphela ukuba khona kwesibopho somphefumulo kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisela inkululeko yakho,” kweluleka uPaulson. Ungakwenza lokhu ngokubhala imizwa yakho mayelana nobudlelwano. Bhala phansi izindlela lokhu kuxhumana okuthinte ngayo imizwa yakho, izinqumo, nokukhula ngokomoya. Lokhu kucaca kuzokusiza ukuthi ubhekane neqiniso likathayi futhi kukukhuthaze ukuthi uwugqashule.

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2. Phendukela esiqondisweni esingokomoya nasemthandazweni ukuze unqamule izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu

Amandla angokomoya angaba usizo olukhulu ekwephuleni izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu. Kungaba ukuzindla, ukwelulekwa komeluleki ongokomoya noma umeluleki, noma umthandazo wokunqamula izibopho zomphefumulo, ungathatha izindlela ezihlukene zokumema uNkulunkulu noma amandla aphakeme okholelwa kuwo ukuze akusize unikeze amandla nokuhlakanipha ukuze unqamule uthayi.

Ngalokhu, udinga ukubekela eceleni isikhathi somkhuleko ozinikele noma isikhathi sokuzindla ukuze ufune amandla okukhulula isibopho. Isibonelo somkhuleko wokunqamula isibopho somphefumulo ne-ex singaba ukuthi, "Nkulunkulu, ngicela isiqondiso Sakho ekuphuleni lesi sibopho somphefumulo. Ngisize ngithethelele, ngikhulule, futhi ngiqhubekele phambili ngokuhambisana nentando Yakho." Uma ukhetha ukuzindla ngakho, ungakubona ngeso lengqondo udedela isibopho somphefumulo wakho futhi ujabulela ukuthula nokuzola lapho usuka kubo, esikhundleni sesiyaluyalu ovame ukusizwa. Ngokuphindaphinda, lesi sithombe singaba namandla ngokwanele ukukunikeza ukuzethemba kokusibonakalisa eqinisweni. 

3. Enza isenzo esingokomfanekiso sokukhulula

Uma sikhuluma ngokubona ngeso lengqondo, amandla esithombe, nokuveza iqiniso lakho, isenzo esingokomfanekiso sokuzikhulula ezintanjeni zethayi yomphefumulo wakho singaba nemiphumela enamandla engokwengqondo nengokomoya. Basiza ukuqinisa inhloso yakho yokugqashula uthayi futhi banikeze a umuzwa wokuvala.

"Imikhuba, njengokushisa uhlamvu noma ukusika intambo engokomfanekiso, isiza ukuhumusha isinqumo sakho sangaphakathi sibe isenzo sangaphandle. Lokhu kubhuloho ukunqanyulwa kwemizwelo nangokomoya," kusho uMonroe. Ngakho-ke, qhubeka, futhi ubhalele umuntu incwadi, uveze imizwa yakho nesinqumo sakho sokuyiyeka. Awudingi ukuyithumela—vele ushise noma uhlukanise uhlamvu njengesenzo esingokomfanekiso sokukhulula. Noma, cabanga ngentambo ekuxhuma kumuntu, futhi uzibone ngeso lengqondo uyisika ngenkathi uqinisekisa ukuzimela kwakho.

4. Xolela futhi uyeke ukucasuka

Awukwazi ukuzikhulula ethonyeni lomuntu kuze kube yilapho ungagcini nje ngokukhulula izinkumbulo ezimnandi zakhe kodwa futhi nentukuthelo, ukuphatheka kabi nokucasuka. Intethelelo kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile sokugqashula izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu ngoba ngisho nemizwa engathandeki ingasigcina siphila isibopho. 

U-Angela uyachaza: “Ukuthethelela akukhona okomunye umuntu—kungenxa yakho. Ukuze uqalise lolu hambo lokuthethelela, ungaqala ngokuphinda iziqinisekiso ezinjengokuthi, “Ngikhetha ukuthethelela [igama lomuntu] futhi ngibakhulule empilweni yami.” Ungase futhi uphendukele emthandazweni ukuze unqamule izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu, ucele amandla okuthethelela nokudedela. Zibone ngeso lengqondo udlulisela ubuhlungu kuNkulunkulu noma endaweni yonke futhi uzizwe uphulukisa ngaphakathi.

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5. Misa imingcele futhi uqhubekele phambili

Uma uzibuza ukuthi uphuke kanjani umphefumulo ubophana ngokocansi noma kwezothando, ukubeka imingcele eqinile ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kubalulekile ukuze kukhishwe ukuthi kungenzeka lokhu kuxhumanise kuthathe impilo yakho futhi. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukukhawulela noma ukuqeda ukuthintana nomuntu nokugwema izimo ezidala amaphethini amadala. Lokhu kusho ukuthi noma ngabe lo muntu efinyelela, kufanele ukwazi ukuxhumana nemingcele yakho ngesizotha kodwa ngokuqinile. 

Ngokwesibonelo, yithi, “Nginqume ukugxila ekukhuleni kwami ​​siqu futhi ngidinga ukunciphisa ukusebenzelana kwethu.” Ngeke kube lula, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni, kodwa yilokho okudingeka ukwenze ukuze ukwazi ukuqondisa kabusha amandla akho ebudlelwaneni obusha, obuhle. Njengoba uSanders echaza, "Imingcele enempilo iwuthango oluvikela inkululeko yakho. Ngaphandle kwayo, uzibeka engcupheni yokuvula kabusha iminyango yokuxhumana okungenampilo."

Imicabango Final

Ukugqashula izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu kanye nokuphulukiswa kuzo kufana nokuxebula emuva izingqimba zemithwalo engokomzwelo nengokomoya, kodwa uma usuphumelele ukukwenza, umuzwa ovuselelwe wenkululeko nokuzimela ohlangabezana nakho kuwufanele zonke izinxushunxushu odlula kuzo ekufinyeleleni. 

Ngeke usazizwa ucindezelwe ithonya eliqhubekayo lomuntu ongahlangene nekusasa lakho. Kunalokho, uzodala isikhala sobudlelwane obunempilo, obuqondaniswe nguNkulunkulu. Umfundisi u-Elijah Graham uthi, “Awugcini nje ngokunqamula isibopho; ubuyisela impilo yakho futhi wenze isikhala senjongo kaNkulunkulu nokuxhumana okunempilo.” Thatha lezi zinyathelo esisodwa ngesikhathi, futhi khumbula ukuthi ukuphulukiswa kungenzeka uma usondela kukho ngenhloso nangokholo.

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