Izibopho Zocansi: Incazelo, Izimpawu, Namathiphu Okugqashula

Wake wazizwa ukhathele kakhulu ngemva kokulala nomuntu? Noma ingabe ukusondelana ngokocansi nomuntu othile kuvule iminyango yokuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo? Uma impendulo inguyebo, lezi kungaba yizimpawu zokuthi wakha izibopho zomphefumulo ngokocansi. Ukuze singene shí ezibophweni zomphefumulo ngokocansi nokuthi amandla angokomoya ashintshaniswa kanjani ngesikhathi socansi, sixoxe nomqeqeshi wobudlelwano kanye nesazi sezinkanyezi uNishi Ahlawat , ogxile ekufundweni kwezinombolo kanye ne-tarot.

Ziyini Izibopho Zocansi?

Echaza izibopho zocansi, uNishi uthi, “Kukhona ukuhlangana kukaMars noVenus emashadini abantu ababili lapho singathola khona isibopho somphefumulo esiqinile socansi phakathi kwabo.” Kodwa kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi imiphefumulo emibili ixhumene ngemva kocansi? Ungase ungazi lokhu kodwa amandla ayashintshana ngesikhathi socansi, hhayi nje kuphela ezingeni lomzimba, kodwa futhi nasezingeni lengqondo, ngokomzwelo, nangokomoya. Lokhu kungenzeka nomlingani wamanje, isoka langaphambili noma intombi yangaphambilini, noma ngisho nomuntu olala naye ngokungahleliwe.

Ngamanye amazwi, ukuya ocansini nomuntu kungase kuholele ekuxhumaneni okujulile okungokomoya njengezibopho zobulili. Ungase ubambe/ufake ngaphakathi ukuhlukumezeka komlingani wakho ocansini naye, ukungazethembi, kanye nokwesaba ngalezi zibopho zocansi, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. 

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDkt. Daniel Amen ubiza le nto ngokuthi i-Limbic Bonding. Uthi, “Abantu ababili bangase banqume ukuya ocansini ‘ngenxa nje yokuzijabulisa’ kodwa kukhona okwenzeka kwelinye izinga okungenzeka ukuthi abazange banqume nhlobo: ubulili buthuthukisa isibopho esingokomzwelo phakathi kwabo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bafuna ubuhlobo obungokomzwelo noma cha.”

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Izimpawu Zokuhlangana Komphefumulo Ngokocansi

Ukusondelana ngokocansi noma ngisho nokuvuka komzimba akuhlali kuholela ekudalweni kwezibopho zomphefumulo ngokocansi. Kodwa uma ulala nomuntu, amathuba okwakha isibopho somphefumulo naye ayanda kakhulu njengoba umzimba wenyama uxhumene nomphefumulo ongokomoya. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kuba izibopho zomphefumulo ezingenampilo. Nazi ezinye izimpawu zokuthi udale isibopho somphefumulo ngokocansi nomuntu oke waba naye ocansini:

1. Uzifela ngabo

Ingabe unemicabango ecindezelayo/imizwa enamandla ngomuntu noma esekwazisile ukuthi akasenandaba nawe? Ingabe ubhekana nekhanda elibuhlungu, isisu esibuhlungu, ukungalali ebusuku, nokuphelelwa isifiso sokudla ku-akhawunti yabo? Lokhu kungaba esinye sezibonakaliso ukuthi usungule izibopho zomphefumulo.

Isibopho somphefumulo nomuntu siwukuxhumana okujulile okungenakuchazwa (njengentambo engabonakali/intambo engokomfanekiso ehlanganisa abantu ababili ndawonye). Lokhu kusho ukuthi usazizwa uboshelwe kumuntu oya naye ocansini futhi uze uphuphe ngezinye izikhathi, ngisho noma ningasekho ndawonye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi singakanani isikhathi esidlulile, imizwa yakho ngalo muntu othile inamandla kunalokho okuzwile kwabanye abantu empilweni yakho.

Kungaba nezinye izizathu zalezi zibopho zocansi eziqinile. UNishi uthi, “Kungaba yithonya le-node yasenyakatho yenyanga eshadini lomuntu noma ezinye izinkinga zobudlelwano zesikhathi esidlule ezingakaxazululwa.” Ukuzikhukhumeza okungekuhle kungalandelelwa emuva ezicini zobuntu, ukuchayeka ebuntwaneni ebuhlotsheni obungenampilo, noma izinkinga ezingakaxazululwa nabantu ababalulekile abahilelekile empilweni yakho.

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2. Uthathe izici zabo ezimbi

Njengoba ucwaningo lubonisa, i-hormone yokubopha i-oxytocin ikhishwa ngesikhathi socansi. Yingakho ungase ube nobuhlobo bobulili nomlingani wakho. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba nomuntu ofanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe kungagcina kwakha ukunamathelana okufana nokubopha umphefumulo. Ungase uthole nokuthi usuwamukele ezinye zezici ezimbi zomlingani wakho wocansi. Ngakho-ke, qaphela njalo ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani ngemva kokuhlangana ngokocansi. Ingabe uzizwa udumele? Noma ujabule/unamandla?

3. Awukwazi ukuphuma

Uyini umehluko phakathi kwezibopho zomphefumulo ezingokomoya, abalingani bomphefumulo, kanye namalangabi amawele? UNishi uthi, “Uhambo lwabalingani bomphefumulo lubushelelezi uma luqhathaniswa namalangabi amawele. Kodwa uma sisebenzisa igama elithi 'ukubopha' ukuchaza ukuxhumana komphefumulo, kusho ukuthi asikhululekile. Bese kuba ubuhlobo be -karmic .”

Futhi, ngenxa yalobu budlelwano be-karmic, awukwazi ukushiya uxhumano lwakho lwethayi yomphefumulo, noma ngabe wazi ukuthi awujabule. Lolu hlobo lokunamathisela okungenampilo lukwenza uhlale isikhathi eside, ngisho nalapho umlingani wakho elawula/ekhohlisa, futhi ingenye yezimpawu ezibalulekile zezibopho zomphefumulo.

4. Uyabalangazelela

Iqiniso lokuthi uyabalangazelela (noma ngabe kusho ukuzizwa ubuhlungu bothando olungabuyiswanga) kungaba esinye sezibonakaliso zokuthi usuwakhe izibopho zomphefumulo ngokocansi. Mhlawumbe, ucansi seluphelile kodwa hhayi iphupho elihlala njalo ngabo. Noma mhlawumbe usazizwa uxhumene ngokomoya "nalowo osindile."

UNishi uyaphawula, “Kunezici eziningi ezisebenzayo lapho ulangazelela ukuvunyelwa othile - uhambo lwakho lomphefumulo, amandla akho ocansi, kanye vele, ukukhangwa okunamandla kocansi komunye umuntu.

5. Unenkinga yokwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nabanye

Uma ukuthola kunzima ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nabanye ngemuva kokuhlangana ngokocansi, kungaba ngesinye sezinkomba zokuthi usuwakhe ubuhlobo bomphefumulo. Usuthandeke kakhulu nomuntu othandana naye (ngenxa yokuhlangana ngokomzwelo) kangangokuthi awukwazi ukusuka kuye.

URC Blakes, Jr. ubhala encwadini yakhe ethi, Soul-Ties: Breaking the Ties That Bind , “Eminye yemiphumela ye-soul-ties yile: ukuzethemba okuphansi , ukungakwazi ukusondelana, kanye nombono ongalungile ngokuthi uthando luyini.”

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6. Ubhekana nokuguquguquka okukhulu kwemizwa

Uma uzithola ubhekene nesimo somzwelo sokucindezeleka okukhulu nokucindezeleka okuhlobene nomlingani wakho wocansi, kungaba esinye sezibonakaliso ezinkulu zokubopha umphefumulo. Lokhu kushintshashintsha okukhulu kungabonakala njengenjabulo lapho izinto zihamba kahle noma ukuphelelwa yithemba okukhulu lapho ubhekene nezinselele noma ukuhlukana. Lokhu kuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo lapho imiphefumulo emibili ixhumene kungabonisa ukunamathelana okuqinile nokungaphilile okudlula isici somzimba sobudlelwano.

7. Wabelana ngoxhumano lwezengqondo

Ukuxhumana kwengqondo kuhilela ukuzwa imizwa, imicabango, noma ngisho nemizwa yomzimba yomlingani wakho wocansi, ngisho noma nihlukene ngokomzimba. Uma uhlala uzwa imizwa noma imicabango yomlingani wakho ngaphandle kokuxhumana okuqondile, kungase kusho isibopho esijulile somphefumulo noma umuzwa wokusondelana ngokomoya . Lokhu kuxhumana okubonakala kushintsha impilo kungenza kube nzima ukumisa imingcele nokugcina umuzwa wobuntu ngaphakathi kobudlelwano.

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8. Uzizwa ukhathele noma ukhathele ngemva kokuba nabo

Uma uhlala uzizwa ukhathele ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo, noma ngokomzimba ngemva kokuhlanganyela emisebenzini yocansi nomlingani wakho, kungase kube uphawu lwezibopho zocansi. Lokhu kuphelelwa amandla kungase kube umphumela wokushintshana okunamandla okwenzeka phakathi nezikhathi eziseduze lapho imiphefumulo emibili ixhumekile. Kubalulekile ukunaka ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngemuva kokuba nomlingani wakho ukuhlola ukuthi ukuxhumana kuyakha noma kubangela ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo.

9. Ulokhu ubuyela emuva naphezu kwemiphumela emibi

Ukubuyela njalo kumlingani wocansi, noma ngabe wazi ukuthi ubudlelwano bunobuthi noma buyingozi empilweni yakho yemizwa, kuwuphawu olucacile lwezibopho zocansi. Naphezu kokuqonda imiphumela emibi, ungase uzithole udonseleka ngokuphindaphindiwe kumuntu. Lokhu kuziphatha kuphakamisa ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo nangokomoya okweqa ukuthathwa kwezinqumo okunengqondo, okubonisa ukuba khona kwesibopho somphefumulo esiqinile.

Umqondo womphefumulo wobulili ulandelela umsuka wawo ebuKristwini. Incazelo yeBhayibheli ithi ubulili buholela esibophweni esinamandla futhi ngenxa yalokho kuwumsebenzi owenzelwe imibhangqwana eshadile kuphela. IBhayibheli likhuluma ngezithembiso zikaNkulunkulu, izibopho zomphefumulo ongamesabi uNkulunkulu, “nemiphefumulo emibili, nyamanye”.

Kodwa-ke, ukuzincisha inkululeko yokuhlola ubulili bakho nokugcwalisa izidingo zakho zocansi uze ushade kuyinto endala ezweni lanamuhla. Ukuhlola abantu abaningi kuyisinqumo sakho futhi kuyinto evumelekile ngokuphelele. Ongakwenza ukuphula izibopho zomphefumulo ezingaphili ukuze ulondoloze insimu yakho yamandla futhi unciphise inani lemfucumfucu noma imfucumfucu engokomzwelo/engokomoya/engokwengqondo obulokhu uyiqoqa endleleni. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uqhubekele phambili futhi wenze ukuthula nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphambilini.

Indlela Yokugqabula Izibopho Zomphefumulo Ngokocansi

Echaza indlela yokususa isibopho somphefumulo , uNishi ugcizelela, “Ukuthethelela kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuphula izibopho zomphefumulo. Ukunqamula izintambo ngokomzwelo yisinyathelo esilandelayo. Bese kuba ukwamukela lokho okukhona.” Ngakho-ke, qala ngokuthethelela umuntu okuphathe kabi, okudukisile, noma okuxhaphaze. Nansi indlela ongayenza ngayo ngokuphula isibopho somphefumulo:

1. Zindla/thandazela ukuthethelela

Njengesinyathelo sokuqala sokugqashula izibopho zocansi, prakthiza le nqubo elandelayo nsuku zonke ukuze uphule isibopho somphefumulo ongenampilo futhi ubeke inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo kuqala:

• Hlala unganyakazi ufulathele
• Gxila emphefumulweni wakho futhi ubize izingelosi/abaqondisi bakamoya ukuze uthole usizo
• Ake ucabange ukusika intambo/intambo ebopha wena kanye nethayi lomphefumulo wakho
• Bona ngeso lengqondo ukukhanya okumhlophe kozwelo nokuthethelela
• Adonse umoya kancane bese uvule amehlo akho
• Yisho umthandazo owuthandayo noma umane ubonise ukubonga

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2. Indlela yokugqashula izibopho zomphefumulo — Zinqamule

Ungawunqamula kanjani ubudlelwano bomphefumulo obungokomoya nomuntu wangaphambili? Beka imingcele . Akufanele umbone, umthumelele imiyalezo, noma umshayele ucingo. Akufanele umlandele ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Ungazama ngisho nokugwema ukuhlangana nabangani noma amalungu omndeni wabo isikhashana. Namathela eqenjini labangane bakho omethembayo.

Futhi, lahla zonke izipho zabo noma izinto ezikukhumbuza ngazo. Ngiyazi ukuthi kuyisinyathelo esidlulele kodwa kungaba yinyama ukushisa lezo zimpahla. Noma ungavele unikele ngazo. Kodwa empeleni, yeka ukugqoka lelo washi owakuphiwe lona noma ukulala ngesikibha sakhe.

Umqondo uwukuqala ukugqashula emandleni abo amabi ukuze uphulukiswe ngokomzwelo. Khulula ingqondo yakho, intando, nemizwelo yakho ethonyeni lakho. Uma uzizwa uphoqelekile ukuba ube nengxoxo yokugcina nalo muntu, kwenze ukuze umazise ukuthi lokhu kuxhumana okungenampilo kufanele kuphele ukuze ungaweli ogibeni olufanayo futhi ubambe umphefumulo wakho nakakhulu.

3. Bhala imizwa yakho kujenali

Noma nini lapho imizwa emnyama, ekhathazayo, futhi enobuthi ithatha amandla, ibhale konke kujenali — Kunobufakazi besayensi bokubhala iphephabhuku kuhle ekuzinakekeleni nasekukhuleni komuntu siqu. Ngokuqinisekile uzozizwa ucindezelekile kancane uma ukhulula yonke imizwa yakho ephepheni. Ungakwazi ngisho ukuyibhala njengencwadi eya ku-ex yakho, okungadingeki ukuthi uyithumele.

Amakholwa ezimpilweni zangaphambilini athi isibopho somphefumulo siqukethe isifundo esifihliwe ngaphakathi kwaso. Ngakho-ke, mhlawumbe, lobu budlelwano besibopho somphefumulo bungaba yithuba lokufunda, likufundise ukuthi ungazinikela kanjani endaweni yonke futhi ulahle izibopho zocansi ezingenempilo. Lapho uqhubeka nokubhala, kulapho ungaqonda khona ngezinga elijulile ukuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuzama ukukufundisani, futhi ngaleyo ndlela kukusize ekuqedeni isibopho somphefumulo.

4. Yakha ukuzethemba kwakho

UNishi uthi, “Igama elithi ushevu livame ukusetshenziswa ukuchaza izibopho ezingenampilo zomphefumulo. Futhi lokho kwanele ukukutshela umthelela ezingaba nawo ekuphileni kwakho. Izibopho ezinobuthi zingakuqeda ngokuphelele ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo, nangokomzimba.” Lapho ubudlelwano buphela, bungaqeda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi bungase bukwenze uzizonde impilo yakho yonke.

Ukuze uzikholelwe futhi, yehlisa ukukhuluma okubi ngawe. Zitshele amazwi akhuthazayo ngendlela yokuqinisekisa okuhle . Zinike isikhathi sokuzivivinya njalo ukuze uzizwe kahle ngawe ngenkathi uphula isibopho somphefumulo. Kungaba ukudansa, ukuya ejimini, noma ukudlala i-badminton.

5. Ungayisusa kanjani i-soul tie — Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Usazibuza ukuthi ungawaphula kanjani ama-soul bonds ngokocansi? Ukuzama ukuthola ukuthi ungawasusa kanjani ama-soul bonds angenampilo akulula, ikakhulukazi uma ukwenza wedwa. Isazi Sezengqondo uSampreeti Das sithi, “Ukwelashwa kungasiza ekuxazululeni izinkinga eziningi ezingase ziphakame mayelana nokuqeda ubudlelwano.”

“Ngokwelashwa, uzothola imibono emisha, uthole izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe, wazi izinto ezibangisayo eziwumsuka nokuthi ungazilawula kanjani, futhi ufunde ukuzinakekela futhi ujabulele ukukhula komuntu siqu. Le nqubo ikuvumela ukuba uthole ukuqonda okuningiliziwe kwamaphethini akho okuziphatha okwenza kube lula ukuwaphula.”

Uma okwamanje ulwa nezibopho ezingokomoya eziqinile ongenakukwazi ukuzikhulula wedwa, izinsizakalo zempilo yengqondo zeBonobology zingakusiza ngalesi sikhathi esinzima.

Ekugcineni, uma usungula isibopho somphefumulo ngokocansi, qonda futhi uhlaziye ukuthi ngabe ubuhlobo obunempilo noma obunobuthi. Uma kuyisibopho somphefumulo esinempilo, qhubeka usibone ngokugcwele. Kodwa uma kuyisibopho somphefumulo esingenampilo noma esinobuthi, yenza umzamo wokuzihlukanisa noma ukusilahla ngenxa yenhlalakahle yakho.

Yebo, siyazi ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe kanye nokuxhumana ngokomzimba okuzwile ebudlelwaneni bakho bezothando obudlule akuchazeki/akunakuthathelwa indawo. Kodwa ngokubambelela kulowo muntu kuze kube phakade, uyazivimbela futhi uvimba izibusiso zakho. Sithemba ukuthi manje usunokucaca okuthile kokuthi ungasusa kanjani isibopho somphefumulo, futhi kuzokuvumela ukuthi wenze isikhala sobudlelwano obusha empilweni yakho.

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