Umhlahlandlela Ophelele Ezigabeni Eziyi-10 Zokuthandana

Uthando, amandla amangalisayo osekungamakhulu eminyaka athatha izimbongi, izazi zefilosofi, nabaphuphi, luwumzwelo onezici eziningi. Lo mhlahlandlela ophelele ubheka ezigabeni zokungena othandweni, unikeza ukuqonda ngezimfihlakalo eziye zasithakazelisa futhi zasidida phakathi neminyaka. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe ukungena othandweni kungasizwa? Abantu bathandana kanjani? Kanti kunjani ukungena othandweni?

Njengoba ngicabanga ngesipiliyoni sami ukuze ngikusize uthole izimpendulo zale mibuzo ethakazelisayo, ngikhunjuzwa ukuhlangana okubuhlungu. Isahluko esisodwa sempilo yami siyagqama - isikhathi lapho ngazithola ngizulazula ku-labyrinth eyayiqala ukuthandana. Lolu hambo bekungeyona indlela ewumugqa kodwa i-kaleidoscope yemizwa nokutholwe, isigaba ngasinye sishiya uphawu olungacimeki emphefumulweni wami.

Kwakuphakathi nesigaba sokuqala sokungena othandweni, isigaba se-honeymoon, lapho ngathola khona amandla kazibuthe angisondeze kumuntu othile ngendlela engangingakwazi ukuyichaza. Ngangingazi ukuthi lesi kwakuyisandulela salokho okwakuzolandela. Ngijoyine njengoba ngethula izigaba ezingu-10 zokungena othandweni.

Yiziphi Izimpawu Zokuwela Othandweni?

Uthando luqala kanjani? Noma abantu bathandana kanjani? Izimpawu zokuthandana zifana nezinkanyezi esibhakabhakeni sasebusuku - ezicashile kodwa ezijulile, zihlanganisa imizwa engashiya umuntu ejabule futhi esengozini. Njengoba sihlola izimpawu ezibonisa ukuthi uthando luyaqhakaza, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi lezi zimpawu zivame ukweqa imingcele yamasiko, zihlanganise ulimi olujwayelekile oluvela emzweni wothando odlula amagama. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usesigabeni sokuqala sothando oluqalayo noma uzithola uthathwe ngumuntu omaziyo iminyaka eminingi, lezi zibonakaliso zisebenza njengezimpawu zasezulwini ebalazweni lohambo lwenhliziyo:

• Izimvemvane esiswini: Umuzwa wokuwela othandweni uvame ukuhlotshaniswa nomuzwa ophaphazelayo, okufana nezimvemvane ezindiza ngaphakathi. Lesi yinkomba yakudala yezigaba zokuqala zokuthandana. Injabulo yezinzwa kanye nokulangazelela ngaphambi kokubona noma ukuxhumana nento ethandwayo kuyizimpawu ezicacile
• Imicabango ehlala njalo: Kuzwakala kanjani ukungena othandweni? Nansi inkomba ecacile yokuthi uyathandana: umuntu uthatha imicabango yakho ngokuphikelela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kusemini noma ebusuku, futhi awukwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngakho noma uhlale ukhathazeka ngakho. Kuyinto evamile ezigabeni zangaphambili lapho uthando luhlala enhliziyweni yakho
• Ukuzwela okuthuthukisiwe: Uthando lunendlela yokukhulisa izimpendulo zethu ezingokomzwelo. Uma uzithola ujwayelene kakhulu nemizwa nezidingo zomuntu omfunayo, kanye nokuzwela kakhulu enjabulweni nasezinsizweni zakhe, kuwubufakazi bokuthi ukuxhumana okujulile
• Ukudonsa kazibuthe: Ukukhanga kazibuthe okukudonsayo ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kumuntu kungolunye uphawu olucacile. Kudlulela ngalé kokukhangwa nje ukubukeka kwabo ngokomzimba; kungamandla angachazeki akusondeza eduze, akhuthaze umuzwa wokusondelana nokusondelana. Lesi ngesinye sezigaba ezibaluleke kakhulu zokungena othandweni
• Ukubeka phambili injabulo yabo: Njengoba uthando lukhula, izinto eziza kuqala kuwe ziyashintsha, futhi injabulo nenhlalakahle yomunye wakho obalulekile iba yinto ehamba phambili. Ukuzidela okwakungakaze kucatshangwe manje kungase kubonakale kuwukubonakaliswa okungokwemvelo kothando lwakho olujulile

Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi i-psychology yothando ayihlukile kangako nomuzwa wenjabulo obangelwa izidakamizwa. Ngakho-ke, uma uzibuza, “Ingabe ukuthandana kungasiza?”, kaningi, impendulo ingucha. Ukulwa nomuzwa wokuthandana kuyimpi enzima kwabaningi. Ithi, “Ngezindlela zabo ezintsha zokwembula ubuntu bethu be-biochemical kanye ne-neurophysiological, iqembu lamaDarwinian anamuhla alizange libe nenkinga yokususa imfihlakalo othandweni lothando.

“Basitshela ukuthi lapho siqala ukuthandana siwela ochungechungeni lwama-amphetamine enzeke ngokwemvelo agijima ezindaweni ezingokomzwelo zobuchopho bethu uqobo. Yingakho sizizwa sijabule, sihlanya, sinamandla, sinobuciko, sikhule ngokuzumayo uma sisebasha, futhi ngokuzumayo sivuseleleka uma sesikhulile. Injabulo yothando isezinzwa zethu; imizwa yabo iba yijubane, ekugcineni iba phezulu; i-amphetamine ivikela umzimba noma ikhathele, futhi ukudangala kokuwa kwethu kwamahhala kuyaphela Sehlela eMhlabeni.

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Lezi zimpawu zimane ziyisiqalo sohambo olujulile. Njengoba siqhubeka, sizohlola izigaba ezahlukene zothando.

I-Rundown On the Stages Of Falling In Love

Ukuqala uhambo lokuthandana kufana nokuqala uhambo olunemizwa, lapho sihlangana khona nochungechunge lwezigaba ezihlukile ezakha isimo sokuxhumana kwethu okujulile. Isigaba ngasinye sivela ngemizwa yaso, izinselele, kanye nezambulo, okusiqondisa emdlalweni oyinkimbinkimbi wothando. Kulesi sifinyezo esibanzi, sizohamba ngezigaba ezahlukene zothando ezifingqa incazelo yokuthandana , zinikeze umbono ohambweni olujulile noluguqulayo lwenhliziyo.

1. Uthando luqala kanjani? Ngokukhanga

Lesi yisinyathelo sokuqala kweziningi zokuthandana. Inhlansi yokuqala evuthela amalangabi othando, ukukhanga amandla kazibuthe adonsela abantu ababili ndawonye. Lesi sigaba sokuqala sothando sibonakala ngokudonseka okungaqondakali, ikakhulukazi ngenxa yokubukeka kwabo ngokomzimba, kodwa kuhambisana nokuqaphela okuthile okukhethekile okudlula ama-hormone ahlukene adlalayo. Kulolu cwaningo , abacwaningi “balinganise ukuthi ingxenye yobuchopho inesibopho sokubeka othandekayo wethu esicongweni kulolo thando lokuqala.”

2. Ukuthatheka

Ukuthatheka kuphawula isigaba esilandelayo lapho imizwelo ishuba ngokufutheka okukhulu, futhi umlingani omusha uba indawo okugxilwe kuyo yemicabango nezifiso. Yisikhathi sokukhula kogqozi, lapho umhlaba ubonakala ukhanya futhi udlangile phambi kwabathandekayo, futhi amazinga okukhanga enyuka kakhulu kunasesiteji sangaphambilini. Lokhu, ngokungangabazeki, izigaba ezinhle kakhulu zokungena othandweni.

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3. Ukutholwa

Njengoba ubudlelwano obusha bujula, isigaba sesithathu - isigaba sokuthola - siyavela, sembula izingqimba zobuntu bomunye nomunye, izindinganiso, kanye nezifiso. Lesi sikhathi siphawulwa umuzwa wokufuna ukwazi kanye nokuqondana okukhula. Abalingani bathola imizwa yozwela komunye nomunye njengoba beqala ukwazana . Futhi okuhlangenwe nakho kokuba sothandweni kuyashintsha, kusuka ekubeni nomuzwa wenjabulo kuya ekubeni nomuzwa wokuzizwa uzinzile.

4. Ukusondelana kuqala ukwakheka ekuqaleni kokuthanda umuntu

Ukusondelana kuyinqubo eyenzeka kancane kancane yokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, okukhuthaza ukuxhumana okujulile nokwethembana phakathi kwabalingani. Ngaphezu nje komthelela ku-testosterone kanye nomfutho wocansi ophakeme, kuhilela ukuba sengozini, ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile, kanye nokwabelana ngemicabango nemizwa ejulile - izinto zezinganekwane. Lapha lapho umuzwa wokuwela othandweni uba nencazelo ehluke ngokuphelele.

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5. Ukwakha ukwethembana yisigaba esilandelayo sokuba sothandweni

Ukwethembana kuyisisekelo sanoma yiluphi ubudlelwano obunempilo. Ezinyathelweni ezahlukene zokuthandana, lesi sibaluleke kakhulu ngoba sihilela ukubhekana nezinselele ndawonye, ​​ukwakha isisekelo sokwethembeka nokwethembana ebudlelwaneni , kanye nokwakha ukholo ekuzibophezeleni komunye nomunye. Uthando ebudlelwaneni alusho lutho ngaphandle kokwethembana futhi abantu abaningi bavame ukungasinaki lesi sici esibalulekile.

6. Ukuqonda umehluko

Abukho ubuhlobo obungenamehluko, futhi lesi sigaba esilandelayo sihlanganisa ukuqaphela nokwamukela ukuhluka kozakwethu ngamunye. Imayelana nokuzulazula izingxabano ngozwelo kanye nokukhuthaza ukukhula ngokuyekethisa. Lesi futhi yisiteji imibhangqwana esibhekana nayo ngemva kwesigaba se-honeymoon. Ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye kuyadingeka kuleli qophelo ukuze kuthuthukiswe ubuhlobo.

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7. Ukuthandana, kunjalo

Lesi sigaba sothando siyindawo lapho imizwa ishintsha khona isuka ekuthathekeni iye othandweni olujulile noluhlala njalo. Lubonakala ngokuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo, umuzwa wokulondeka, kanye nokuzibophezela enhlalakahleni yobuhlobo. Yilapho abathandi nabo beba abangane abakhulu , futhi, ngalesi sikhathi, ukulwa nomuzwa wokuthandana kuyinto eyisiwula. Yilapho futhi konke ukungabaza nezinkinga kunyamalala khona. Awusabuzi ukuthi, “Ingabe ngiyathandana?” Uyazi impendulo ngokuqiniseka.

8. Ukuzibophezela

Ukuzibophezela kuqinisa isibopho, okubonisa isinqumo esinengqondo sokutshala imali ebuhlotsheni isikhathi eside. Uthando ebudlelwaneni lubandakanya ukubhekana nezinselelo ndawonye, ​​ukweseka amaphupho omunye nomunye, nokubhekana nezivunguvungu ezivelayo. Ngokungafani nezigaba zakuqala, lesi ngesinye sezigaba zokungena othandweni okudinga umzamo wokuzulazula nokuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abalingani basekhasini elifanayo.

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9. Ukuvumelana okujabulisayo

Kulesi sigaba sobudlelwano bothando, imibhangqwana izwa umuzwa wokuzwana okujabulisayo, lapho iphila khona njengobunye. Yilapho ukuba sothandweni kubonakaliswa khona imigomo efanayo, inhlonipho, ukuzinakekela okuhlangene, kanye nokwazisa okujulile ngokubambisana. Lapho abantu bethandana ngempela , lesi sigaba sizofika nakanjani.

10. Uthando lwaphakade ebudlelwaneni luyisigaba sokugcina, ngokufanelekile

Isigaba sokugcina ezinyathelweni zokungena othandweni sihlanganisa uhambo lwempilo yonke ndawonye. Uthando lwaphakade lubonakala ngobungane obuhlala njalo, ukusekelwa okungantengantengi, nokuxhumana okumelana novivinyo lwesikhathi. Ozakwethu bazizwa bexhumeke ezingeni elijule kakhulu kunangaphambili njengoba bakha ikusasa ndawonye.

Omunye umsebenzisi we-Reddit usho lokhu ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngezigaba ezahlukene zothando: “Izimpawu zihlukile kunoma yimuphi umuntu wesilisa. Kodwa uma ngithandana, akukho lutho oluza phambi kwakhe, futhi akekho omunye ngaphandle kwakhe. Uyikho konke engikufunayo, nakho konke engikudingayo. Ngikuzwa lokho emzimbeni wami njengokufudumala. Lokho kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isikhathi: kungaba ngesikhathi socansi, ukubuka i-movie, ukudla, ukulala, noma ngisho nasekhefini lami lasemini futhi ngifisa ukubuyela emsebenzini… Angifuni ziphele. Ngifuna nje ukuhlala lapho ngizizwa/ngiphindisela lolo thando. Akukho okunye okubalulekile.”

Njengoba sixazulula izigaba zokungena othandweni, umbuzo usalokhu uzibuza - abantu bangena kanjani othandweni, futhi ingabe ikhona incazelo yesayensi yezikhathi ezibusa izindaba zenhliziyo? Ake singene endaweni yophenyo lwesayensi ukuze siqonde umugqa wesikhathi wezinyathelo zokungena othandweni.

Kuthatha Isikhathi Esingakanani Ukuthandana Ngokwesayensi?

Kuzwakala kanjani ukuthandana? Ingabe ukuthandana kungasizwa? Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthuthukisa imizwa ngomuntu? Isikhathi esimaphakathi sokuthandana? Ukuhlola kwesayensi inqubo kanye nesikhathi sokuthandana kuyinkimbinkimbi njengemizwa uqobo, ethonywa yizinto eziningi kusukela kokungafani komuntu ngamunye kuya ezimweni zangaphandle. Abacwaningi kanye nezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo baye bafuna ukuxazulula inqubo yokuthandana , bezama ukulinganisa isikhathi esithathwa ngabantu ukudabula izigaba zokukhangana, ukunamathelana, kanye nokuxhumana okujulile.

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Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi umuzwa wothando, ukuba yindaba ejulile kanye nesipiliyoni somuntu siqu, awuhambisani nohlelo lwezikhathi oluqinile. Ukuthi kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthandana kuzoncika kulokhu:

• Ukuhlukahluka komuntu ngamunye: Ucwaningo lwesayensi lugcizelela ukuthi ijubane abantu abathandana ngalo lihlukahluka kakhulu. Izinto ezinjengobuntu, okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule, amazinga okukhanga, nezitayela zokunamathisela kunomthelela emugqeni wesikhathi oyingqayizivele wohambo lomuntu ngamunye olungena othandweni. Nakuba umuntu oyedwa engase achithe izinyanga ezamazamana nombuzo othi, “Ingabe ngiyathandana?”, omunye angase amukele imizwa yakhe ngokushesha noma akholelwe emcabangweni wothando ekuqaleni kokubona.
• Imithelela kwamasiko nomphakathi: Amasiko ahlukene angase abe nokulindela okuhlukahlukene mayelana nejubane nokuqhubeka kokuthandana ebuhlotsheni bothando. A cross-amasiko cwaningo ibonisa ukuthi intsha yaseMelika yayithandana kakhulu, ilandelwa abahlanganyeli baseTurkey. Abahlanganyeli baseNdiya babe nephuzu eliphansi kakhulu le-romanticism
• Izinguquko zamakhemikhali ebuchosheni: Ama-neurotransmitters nama-hormone, afana ne-oxytocin ne-dopamine, ayathinteka ekuhlangenwe nakho kothando. Lezi zinguquko zamakhemikhali zenzeka ngamanani ahlukene kubantu abahlukene, okunomthelela ezikhathini ezahlukahlukene ezibonwa ocwaningweni lwesayensi lomuzwa wokuthandana.
• Izitayela zokunamathisela: Izitayela zokunamathisela ngokwengqondo, njengokukhathazeka, ukugwema, noma ukuphepha, kunomthelela endleleni abantu abasondela ngayo futhi bazulazule ebuhlotsheni bothando. Lezi zitayela zingathonya ijubane umuntu asondela ngalo ngokomzwelo noma azizwele uthando. Abantu abazizwa bengalondekile kakhulu banobudlelwane obuyinkimbinkimbi nothando
• Okuhlangenwe nakho nokuhlukumezeka: Okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule, ukuhlukumezeka, kanye nempilo yengqondo kungathinta kakhulu ijubane abantu abazivulela ngalo othandweni. Ukuphulukiswa kwamanxeba adlule kungase kusheshise noma kubambezele inqubo yokungena othandweni. Eyodwa cwaningo bathola ukuthi abantu “abaye babhekana nokuhlukumezeka okukhulu kunamathuba amancane okuveza imibono yothando.”

Ngokusho kwengqondo yothando oludumile, abesifazane bavame ukuthandana ngokushesha kunabesilisa. Kodwa-ke, abacwaningi bathole okuphambene nalokho kuyiqiniso: “Kukhona inkolelo ebanzi yokuthi abesifazane banothando kakhulu futhi bavame ukuthandana ngokushesha kunabesilisa. Izimpendulo ezivela kubafundi basekolishi abangu-172 zikhombisile ukuthi yize bobabili amadoda nabesifazane bekholelwa ukuthi abesifazane bazothandana futhi bathi “Ngiyakuthanda” kuqala ebudlelwaneni, amadoda abike ukuthi athandana kusenesikhathi futhi akuveza kusenesikhathi kunabesifazane ababike ngakho.

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“Ukuhlaziya futhi akuzange kubonise umehluko wobulili ekuphenduleni kwesimo sengqondo ezintweni eziphathelene nothando nezothando. Le miphumela ibonisa ukuthi abesifazane bangase bangabi “iziwula zothando” umphakathi ozithathayo futhi ezivumelana nombono wokuthi umbono ongokoqobo nowokuqapha wothando unokubaluleka okuvumelana nezimo kwabesifazane.”

Sengiphetha, ukuhlolwa kwesayensi komugqa wesikhathi wothando kugcizelela ubunkimbinkimbi bawo kanye nokuzithoba kwawo. Uthando luyinto eguqukayo, ephikisana nemingcele yeshejuli eqinile - Kuzothatha isikhathi esiningi njengoba idinga. Ilensi yesayensi inikeza ukuqonda okubalulekile ezindaweni zenhliziyo ezingashiwongo, nokho ingqikithi yangempela yokungena othandweni ihlala iwuhambo olujulile lomuntu siqu nolungenakubikezelwa kahle.

Nge-lens yesayensi kanye neseyili yesipiliyoni somuntu siqu, sithola ukuthi uhambo lwenhliziyo luyindawo yonke futhi lujulile lomuntu ngamunye. Emdansweni oyindida wokukhanga, ukuthatheka, nokuzibophezela, sithola ubuhle abukho nje kuphela endaweni kodwa kuzo zonke izinyathelo endleleni. Ekugubheni ubunkimbinkimbi, izimfihlakalo nezimangaliso zothando, samukela iqiniso elingapheli lokuthi ezindabeni zenhliziyo, uhambo lujulile njengalapho kuyiwa khona uqobo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.