Umhlahlandlela Ophelele Ezigabeni Eziyi-10 Zokuthandana

Uthando, amandla amangalisayo osekungamakhulu eminyaka athatha izimbongi, izazi zefilosofi, nabaphuphi, luwumzwelo onezici eziningi. Lo mhlahlandlela ophelele ubheka ezigabeni zokungena othandweni, unikeza ukuqonda ngezimfihlakalo eziye zasithakazelisa futhi zasidida phakathi neminyaka. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe ukungena othandweni kungasizwa? Abantu bathandana kanjani? Kanti kunjani ukungena othandweni?

Njengoba ngicabanga ngesipiliyoni sami ukuze ngikusize uthole izimpendulo zale mibuzo ethakazelisayo, ngikhunjuzwa ukuhlangana okubuhlungu. Isahluko esisodwa sempilo yami siyagqama - isikhathi lapho ngazithola ngizulazula ku-labyrinth eyayiqala ukuthandana. Lolu hambo bekungeyona indlela ewumugqa kodwa i-kaleidoscope yemizwa nokutholwe, isigaba ngasinye sishiya uphawu olungacimeki emphefumulweni wami.

Kwakuphakathi nesigaba sokuqala sokungena othandweni, isigaba se-honeymoon, lapho ngathola khona amandla kazibuthe angisondeze kumuntu othile ngendlela engangingakwazi ukuyichaza. Ngangingazi ukuthi lesi kwakuyisandulela salokho okwakuzolandela. Ngijoyine njengoba ngethula izigaba ezingu-10 zokungena othandweni.

Yiziphi Izimpawu Zokuwela Othandweni?

Uthando luqala kanjani? Noma abantu bathandana kanjani? Izimpawu zokungena othandweni zifana nezinkanyezi esibhakabhakeni sasebusuku - ezicashile kodwa ezijulile, ezihlanganisa imizwelo engashiya umuntu ejabule futhi esengozini. Njengoba sihlola izimpawu ezibonisa ukuthi uthando luyaqhakaza, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi lezi zimpawu zivame ukweqa imingcele yamasiko, ezihlanganisa ulimi oluvamile olusuka kumuzwa wothando odlula amagama. Ukuthi uku izigaba zokuqala zothando olusafufusa noma uzithola ukhangwa othile osumazi iminyaka, lezi zimpawu zisebenza njengezimpawu zasezulwini kumephu yohambo lwenhliziyo:

• Izimvemvane esiswini: Umuzwa wokuwela othandweni uvame ukuhlotshaniswa nomuzwa ophaphazelayo, okufana nezimvemvane ezindiza ngaphakathi. Lesi yinkomba yakudala yezigaba zokuqala zokuthandana. Injabulo yezinzwa kanye nokulangazelela ngaphambi kokubona noma ukuxhumana nento ethandwayo kuyizimpawu ezicacile
• Imicabango ehlala njalo: Kuzwakala kanjani ukungena othandweni? Nansi inkomba ecacile yokuthi uyathandana: umuntu uthatha imicabango yakho ngokuphikelela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kusemini noma ebusuku, futhi awukwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngakho noma uhlale ukhathazeka ngakho. Kuyinto evamile ezigabeni zangaphambili lapho uthando luhlala enhliziyweni yakho
• Ukuzwela okuthuthukisiwe: Uthando lunendlela yokukhulisa izimpendulo zethu ezingokomzwelo. Uma uzithola ujwayelene kakhulu nemizwa nezidingo zomuntu omfunayo, kanye nokuzwela kakhulu enjabulweni nasezinsizweni zakhe, kuwubufakazi bokuthi ukuxhumana okujulile
• Ukudonsa kazibuthe: Ukukhanga kazibuthe okukudonsayo ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kumuntu kungolunye uphawu olucacile. Kudlulela ngalé kokukhangwa nje ukubukeka kwabo ngokomzimba; kungamandla angachazeki akusondeza eduze, akhuthaze umuzwa wokusondelana nokusondelana. Lesi ngesinye sezigaba ezibaluleke kakhulu zokungena othandweni
• Ukubeka phambili injabulo yabo: Njengoba uthando lukhula, izinto eziza kuqala kuwe ziyashintsha, futhi injabulo nenhlalakahle yomunye wakho obalulekile iba yinto ehamba phambili. Ukuzidela okwakungakaze kucatshangwe manje kungase kubonakale kuwukubonakaliswa okungokwemvelo kothando lwakho olujulile

Ucwaningo ikhombisa ukuthi i-love psychology ayihlukile kangako nomuzwa wenjabulo obangelwa izidakamizwa. Ngakho-ke, uma uzibuza, "Ingabe ukuwela othandweni kungasizwa?", Kaningi kunalokho, impendulo ingucha. Ukulwa nomuzwa wokuwela othandweni kuyimpi ekhuphukayo kwabaningi. Ithi, “Ngamasu abo amasha okuveza imizimba yethu ye-biochemical kanye ne-neurophysiological, iqembu lama-Darwin anamuhla alibanga nankinga yokukhipha imfihlakalo othandweni lwezothando.

“Basitshela ukuthi lapho siqala ukuthandana siwela ochungechungeni lwama-amphetamine enzeke ngokwemvelo agijima ezindaweni ezingokomzwelo zobuchopho bethu uqobo. Yingakho sizizwa sijabule, sihlanya, sinamandla, sinobuciko, sikhule ngokuzumayo uma sisebasha, futhi ngokuzumayo sivuseleleka uma sesikhulile. Injabulo yothando isezinzwa zethu; imizwa yabo iba yijubane, ekugcineni iba phezulu; i-amphetamine ivikela umzimba noma ikhathele, futhi ukudangala kokuwa kwethu kwamahhala kuyaphela Sehlela eMhlabeni.

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Lezi zimpawu zimane ziyisiqalo sohambo olujulile. Njengoba siqhubeka, sizohlola izigaba ezahlukene zothando.

I-Rundown On the Stages Of Falling In Love

Ukuqala uhambo lokuthandana kufana nokuhamba ngomkhumbi ku-odyssey yemizwa, lapho sihlangabezana nochungechunge lwezigaba ezihlukile ezilolonga indawo yokuxhumana kwethu okujulile. Isigaba ngasinye sivuleka ngesethi yaso yemizwa, izinselelo, nezambulo, ezisiqondisa emdlalweni oyinkimbinkimbi wezothando. Kulesi sifinyezo esibanzi, sizozulazula ezigabeni ezihlukene zothando lokho kuhlanganisa incazelo yokungena othandweni, enikeza amazwibela ohambo lwenhliziyo olujulile noluguqulayo.

1. Uthando luqala kanjani? Ngokukhanga

Lesi yisinyathelo sokuqala kweziningi zokungena othandweni. Inhlansi yokuqala evutha amalangabi othando, ukukhanga amandla kazibuthe adonsa abantu ababili ndawonye. Lesi sigaba sokuqala sothando sibonakala ngokudonsa okungaqondakali, ikakhulukazi ngenxa yokubukeka kwabo ngokomzimba, kodwa okuhambisana nokuqashelwa okuthile okukhethekile okudlula amahomoni ahlukene adlalayo. Kulokhu cwaningo, abacwaningi “baye balinganisa ukuthi ingxenye ethile yobuchopho inesibopho sokubeka othandekayo wethu esinyathelweni kulokho kuqubuka kokuqala kothando.”

2. Ukuthatheka

Ukuthatheka kuphawula isigaba esilandelayo lapho imizwelo ishuba ngokufutheka okukhulu, futhi umlingani omusha uba indawo okugxilwe kuyo yemicabango nezifiso. Yisikhathi sokukhula kogqozi, lapho umhlaba ubonakala ukhanya futhi udlangile phambi kwabathandekayo, futhi amazinga okukhanga enyuka kakhulu kunasesiteji sangaphambilini. Lokhu, ngokungangabazeki, izigaba ezinhle kakhulu zokungena othandweni.

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3. Ukutholwa

Njengoba ubudlelwano obusha bujula, isigaba sesithathu - isigaba sokutholwa - siyavela, siveze izingqimba zobuntu bomunye nomunye, izindinganiso, kanye nezifiso. Lesi sikhathi siphawulwa umuzwa welukuluku nokuqonda okukhulayo komunye nomunye. Ozakwethu baba nemizwa yokuzwelana njengoba benjalo sazane. Futhi umuzwa wokuba sothandweni ushintsha, usuke ekubeni nomuzwa wokujabula ube nomuzwa wokuzizwa ugxilile.

4. Ukusondelana kuqala ukwakheka ekuqaleni kokuthanda umuntu

Ukusondelana kuyinqubo eyenzeka kancane kancane yokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, okukhuthaza ukuxhumana okujulile nokwethembana phakathi kwabalingani. Ngaphezu nje komthelela ku-testosterone kanye nomfutho wocansi ophakeme, kuhilela ukuba sengozini, ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile, kanye nokwabelana ngemicabango nemizwa ejulile - izinto zezinganekwane. Lapha lapho umuzwa wokuwela othandweni uba nencazelo ehluke ngokuphelele.

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5. Ukwakha ukwethembana yisigaba esilandelayo sokuba sothandweni

Ukwethembana kuyisisekelo sanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo. Ezinyathelweni ezihlukene zokungena othandweni, lesi sibaluleke kakhulu ngoba sihlanganisa ukuzulazula ngezinselele ndawonye, ​​ukwakha isisekelo sokwethembeka kanye ukwethemba ubudlelwano, nokuqinisa ukholo ekuzinikeleni komunye nomunye. Uthando ebudlelwaneni lusho okuncane kakhulu ngaphandle kokwethembana futhi abantu abaningi bavame ukungasinaki lesi sici esibalulekile.

6. Ukuqonda umehluko

Abukho ubuhlobo obungenamehluko, futhi lesi sigaba esilandelayo sihlanganisa ukuqaphela nokwamukela ukuhluka kozakwethu ngamunye. Imayelana nokuzulazula izingxabano ngozwelo kanye nokukhuthaza ukukhula ngokuyekethisa. Lesi futhi yisiteji imibhangqwana esibhekana nayo ngemva kwesigaba se-honeymoon. Ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye kuyadingeka kuleli qophelo ukuze kuthuthukiswe ubuhlobo.

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7. Ukuthandana, kunjalo

Lesi sigaba sothando siyindawo lapho imizwa ishintsha khona isuka ekuthathekeni iye othandweni olujulile, oluhlala njalo. Kubonakala ngokuxhumana okujulile kwemizwa, umuzwa wokulondeka, nokuzibophezela enhlalakahleni yobudlelwano. Lapha kulapho abathandi futhi baba abangane abakhulu futhi, kuleli qophelo, ukulwa nomuzwa wokuwela othandweni kuwumsebenzi weziwula. Yilapho futhi konke ukungabaza nezingqinamba zinyamalala khona. Awusabuzi ukuthi, "Ingabe ngiyathandana?" Uyayazi impendulo ngokuqiniseka.

8. Ukuzibophezela

Ukuzibophezela kuqinisa isibopho, okubonisa isinqumo esinengqondo sokutshala imali ebuhlotsheni isikhathi eside. Uthando ebudlelwaneni lubandakanya ukubhekana nezinselelo ndawonye, ​​ukweseka amaphupho omunye nomunye, nokubhekana nezivunguvungu ezivelayo. Ngokungafani nezigaba zakuqala, lesi ngesinye sezigaba zokungena othandweni okudinga umzamo wokuzulazula nokuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abalingani basekhasini elifanayo.

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9. Ukuvumelana okujabulisayo

Kulesi sigaba sobudlelwano bezothando, imibhangqwana iba nomuzwa wokuzwana okujabulisayo, lapho izulazula empilweni njengembumbano. Yilapho ukuba sothandweni kuphawulwa ngezinhloso ezihlanganyelwe, ukuhloniphana, ukuzinakekela ngokuhlanganyela, nokwazisa okujulile ngokubambisana. Lapho abantu bethandana ngokweqiniso, lesi sigaba sizofika nakanjani.

10. Uthando lwaphakade ebudlelwaneni luyisigaba sokugcina, ngokufanelekile

Isigaba sokugcina ezinyathelweni zokungena othandweni sihlanganisa uhambo lwempilo yonke ndawonye. Uthando lwaphakade lubonakala ngobungane obuhlala njalo, ukusekelwa okungantengantengi, nokuxhumana okumelana novivinyo lwesikhathi. Ozakwethu bazizwa bexhumeke ezingeni elijule kakhulu kunangaphambili njengoba bakha ikusasa ndawonye.

One Umsebenzisi we-Reddit ube nalokhu akusho mayelana nolwazi lwakhe ngezigaba ezahlukene zothando: "Izimpawu zihlukile kunoma yimuphi umfana. Kodwa uma ngisethandweni, akukho lutho oluza phambi kwakhe, futhi akekho omunye umuntu ngaphandle kwakhe. Uyikho konke engikufunayo, nakho konke engikudingayo. Ngizwa ukuthi emzimbeni wami njengokufudumala. Lokho kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isikhathi: noma ngabe ngesikhathi socansi, ukubuka ifilimu, ukudla, ukulala, noma ukubuya emsebenzini wami ... Ngifuna ukuhlala lapho ngizizwa/nginikeza lolo thando akukho okunye okubalulekile.

Njengoba sixazulula izigaba zokungena othandweni, umbuzo usalokhu uzibuza - abantu bangena kanjani othandweni, futhi ingabe ikhona incazelo yesayensi yezikhathi ezibusa izindaba zenhliziyo? Ake singene endaweni yophenyo lwesayensi ukuze siqonde umugqa wesikhathi wezinyathelo zokungena othandweni.

Kuthatha Isikhathi Esingakanani Ukuthandana Ngokwesayensi?

Kuzwakala kanjani ukungena othandweni? Ingabe ukungena othandweni kungasizwa? Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthuthukisa imizwa ngothile? Isiphi isikhathi esimaphakathi sokuthandana? Ukuhlolwa kwesayensi kwenqubo kanye nomugqa wesikhathi sokuthandana kuyinkimbinkimbi njengomzwelo ngokwawo, kuthonywa inqwaba yezici ezisukela ekuhlukeni komuntu ngamunye kuye kwezimo zangaphandle. Abacwaningi kanye nezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo baye bafuna ukuxazulula inqubo yokungena othandweni, izama ukulinganisa ubude besikhathi esisithathayo ukuze abantu badlule ezigabeni zokukhanga, okunamathiselwe, kanye nokuxhumana okujulile.

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Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi umuzwa wothando, ukuba yindaba ejulile kanye nesipiliyoni somuntu siqu, awuhambisani nohlelo lwezikhathi oluqinile. Ukuthi kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthandana kuzoncika kulokhu:

• Ukuhlukahluka komuntu ngamunye: Ucwaningo lwesayensi lugcizelela ukuthi ijubane abantu abathandana ngalo lihlukahluka kakhulu. Izinto ezinjengobuntu, okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule, amazinga okukhanga, nezitayela zokunamathisela kunomthelela emugqeni wesikhathi oyingqayizivele wohambo lomuntu ngamunye olungena othandweni. Nakuba umuntu oyedwa engase achithe izinyanga ezamazamana nombuzo othi, “Ingabe ngiyathandana?”, omunye angase amukele imizwa yakhe ngokushesha noma akholelwe emcabangweni wothando ekuqaleni kokubona.
• Imithelela kwamasiko nomphakathi: Amasiko ahlukene angase abe nokulindela okuhlukahlukene mayelana nejubane nokuqhubeka kokuthandana ebuhlotsheni bothando. A cross-amasiko cwaningo ibonisa ukuthi intsha yaseMelika yayithandana kakhulu, ilandelwa abahlanganyeli baseTurkey. Abahlanganyeli baseNdiya babe nephuzu eliphansi kakhulu le-romanticism
• Izinguquko zamakhemikhali ebuchosheni: Ama-neurotransmitters nama-hormone, afana ne-oxytocin ne-dopamine, ayathinteka ekuhlangenwe nakho kothando. Lezi zinguquko zamakhemikhali zenzeka ngamanani ahlukene kubantu abahlukene, okunomthelela ezikhathini ezahlukahlukene ezibonwa ocwaningweni lwesayensi lomuzwa wokuthandana.
• Izitayela zokunamathisela: Izitayela zokunamathisela ngokwengqondo, njengokukhathazeka, ukugwema, noma ukuphepha, kunomthelela endleleni abantu abasondela ngayo futhi bazulazule ebuhlotsheni bothando. Lezi zitayela zingathonya ijubane umuntu asondela ngalo ngokomzwelo noma azizwele uthando. Abantu abazizwa bengalondekile kakhulu banobudlelwane obuyinkimbinkimbi nothando
• Okuhlangenwe nakho nokuhlukumezeka: Okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule, ukuhlukumezeka, kanye nempilo yengqondo kungathinta kakhulu ijubane abantu abazivulela ngalo othandweni. Ukuphulukiswa kwamanxeba adlule kungase kusheshise noma kubambezele inqubo yokungena othandweni. Eyodwa cwaningo bathola ukuthi abantu “abaye babhekana nokuhlukumezeka okukhulu kunamathuba amancane okuveza imibono yothando.”

Ngokusho kwe-pop love psychology, abesifazane bavame ukuthandana ngokushesha kunabesilisa. Nokho, abacwaningi bathola okuphambene nalokho: “Kunenkolelo evamile yokuthi abantu besifazane bathandana kakhulu futhi bathambekele ekuthandeni ngokushesha kunamadoda.” Izimpendulo zabafundi basekolishi abangu-172 zabonisa ukuthi nakuba bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane bekholelwa ukuthi abesifazane bazothandana futhi bathi “ngiyakuthanda” kuqala ebuhlotsheni, amadoda abika ukuthi aqala ukuthandana futhi akuveze ngaphambi kwesikhathi kunokubika kwabesifazane.

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“Ukuhlaziya futhi akuzange kubonise umehluko wobulili ekuphenduleni kwesimo sengqondo ezintweni eziphathelene nothando nezothando. Le miphumela ibonisa ukuthi abesifazane bangase bangabi “iziwula zothando” umphakathi ozithathayo futhi ezivumelana nombono wokuthi umbono ongokoqobo nowokuqapha wothando unokubaluleka okuvumelana nezimo kwabesifazane.”

Sengiphetha, ukuhlolwa kwesayensi komugqa wesikhathi wothando kugcizelela ubunkimbinkimbi bawo kanye nokuzithoba kwawo. Uthando luyinto eguqukayo, ephikisana nemingcele yeshejuli eqinile - Kuzothatha isikhathi esiningi njengoba idinga. Ilensi yesayensi inikeza ukuqonda okubalulekile ezindaweni zenhliziyo ezingashiwongo, nokho ingqikithi yangempela yokungena othandweni ihlala iwuhambo olujulile lomuntu siqu nolungenakubikezelwa kahle.

Nge-lens yesayensi kanye neseyili yesipiliyoni somuntu siqu, sithola ukuthi uhambo lwenhliziyo luyindawo yonke futhi lujulile lomuntu ngamunye. Emdansweni oyindida wokukhanga, ukuthatheka, nokuzibophezela, sithola ubuhle abukho nje kuphela endaweni kodwa kuzo zonke izinyathelo endleleni. Ekugubheni ubunkimbinkimbi, izimfihlakalo nezimangaliso zothando, samukela iqiniso elingapheli lokuthi ezindabeni zenhliziyo, uhambo lujulile njengalapho kuyiwa khona uqobo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.