Wonke umuntu unezimfihlo. Njengoba sigcizelela ukwethembeka, masibhekane nakho, sonke kukhona esikufihlayo. Ukuchotshozwa okuyimfihlo, indawo ye-hangout eyimfihlo, noma ngisho nokufihlwa koswidi, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi awufuni nje ukwabelana. Nokho, ezinye izimfihlo ilele endaweni grey. Ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo bungenye into enjalo.
Umqondo wothando olufihliwe ungabonakala ujabulisa kakhulu. Kukho konke ukulunga, kungaba mnandi kakhulu. Ukubuka okufiphele, ukumamatheka okuyimfihlo, amabhulashi ngamabomu ngephutha, zonke lezi zinto zenza izinhliziyo zethu zigijime. Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokufuna ukugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo. Kodwa uma umlingani wakho eqhubeka egcizelela ekusithekeni futhi enikeza izaba ezingasho lutho njengezizathu zokugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo, kunesizathu sokukhathazeka.
Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo ungakuqedanga ukuzethemba. Kuzoba buhlungu ukubona umuntu omthanda kangaka ugcina ubudlelwano benu buyimfihlo, sengathi unamahloni ngawe. Kodwa, ingabe yilokho ngempela elikushoyo, noma kukhona okwengeziwe kukho? Ake sibheke konke okudingeka sikwazi mayelana nobudlelwano obuyimfihlo, ngosizo oluncane oluvela kumqeqeshi wokuqomisana Geetarsh Kaur, umsunguli we-The Skill School, ogxile ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuqinile.
Buyini “Ubudlelwano Obuyimfihlo”?
Okuqukethwe
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuthola ukuthi ngabe usebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo yini ukwazi ukuthi buyini ngempela. Kulula ukuphambanisa ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo nobo obuyimfihlo. I-Geetarsh isiza ekuxazululeni inkinga yobudlelwano obuyimfihlo neyimfihlo.
“Njengoba izinkundla zokuxhumana ziyingxenye ebalulekile yempilo yethu, abantu bavamise ukumemezela zonke izinto ezibalulekile kubo, okuhlanganisa nobudlelwano.Uma izithandani ezithandanayo zingasebenzisi izinkundla ezinjena ukuveza ngobudlelwano babo, kubizwa ngobudlelwano bangasese.Abadingi izinkundla zokuxhumana ukuze baqinisekise ubudlelwano babo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ebuhlotsheni obuyimfihlo, akekho omunye umuntu kodwa umbhangqwana owaziyo mayelana nobuhlobo. Akekho umndeni noma umngane owaziyo ngalobo budlelwano.”
Ingabe isimo sakhe sobudlelwano ku-Facebook sithi akashadile, kodwa ukwazise kubangani bakhe, udadewabo omncane, kanye nenja yakhe? Khona-ke, nguye ebudlelwaneni obujulile. Uma ubudlelwano busonga ngokuphelele futhi akekho noyedwa empilweni ye-SO yakho owaziyo ukuthi ukhona, khona-ke unenye into ezayo.
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo akudingekile ukuthi bube yinto embi, ikakhulukazi uma bonke abathintekayo bevuma ukubugcina buthule. Isibonelo, uma ozakwethu ababili bethandana kodwa indawo yabo yokusebenza ingabakhuthazi abasebenzi ukuthi bathandane, ubuhlobo obufihliwe buyindlela engokwemvelo. Lolu hlobo lwe-dynamic lungase futhi lwaziwe njengobumfihlo, kodwa hhayi ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo.
Kodwa-ke, uma ubudlelwano buyimfihlo ngoba oyedwa uzakwethu efisa ukubugcina bunjalo kuyilapho omunye engenandaba nokuthunyelwe kwe-Instagram noma okubili, kunesizathu esikhulu sokukhathazeka. Zonke izinhlobo zokungabaza zingangena engqondweni yakho, futhi ungagcina ungabaza ubuqiniso balokho okukho.
Ngaphambi kokuba uthole ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesimo esinjalo, kufanele uqinisekise ukuthi ukuso ngempela yini. Ake sixoxe ngokuthi ungabona kanjani ukuthi abantu ababili abathandanayo ngasese nokuthi kungani umlingani wakho engase afune ukuba sebunzimeni obunjalo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu ezingama-23 Zobudlelwano Obungenampilo
Kungani Umaqondana Wakho Efuna Ukuba Nobudlelwane Obuyimfihlo?
Ubudlelwano yindaba yangasese. Futhi ngekamlingani wakho nesinqumo sakho ukuthi ubenza nini, kanjani, futhi kangakanani ubudlelwano bakho esidlangalaleni. Kodwa uma umlingani wakho efuna ukugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo ngokuphelele, nakanjani uzofuna ukwazi ukuthi kungani engase afune kanjalo. Nakuba ezinye izizathu zingasetshenzwa isikhashana, ezinye ziqinisekile amafulegi abomvu okungafanele ashaywe indiva.
"Ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo bungahamba ngezindlela ezimbili kuphela," kusho uBen Harcum, umdwebi. Ekugcineni kuyavela noma kuyaphela. Ubudlelwano abukwazi ukuba yimfihlo yaphakade.
Uma usola ukuthi okwamanje usothandweni oluyimfihlo, ingqondo yakho ingase ifinyelele eziphethweni ezimbi kakhulu. Siyakuthola, akuyona into ethandeka kakhulu emhlabeni ukuthola ukuthi umlingani wakho ngeke aze akwethule kubangani bakhe. Ngaphambi kwemicabango enjengokuthi, "Ingabe ungigcina imfihlo? Ingabe unamahloni kangako ngami?" ngena engqondweni yakho, bheka izizathu ezilandelayo zokuthi kungani umlingani wakho angase afune ukukufihla.
1. Abakaqiniseki ngobudlelwano okwamanje
Manje nasi isizathu empeleni esisendaweni empunga. Uma umlingani wakho esanda kuphuma ebuhlotsheni obunzima futhi usanda kuqala ukuqomisana, lokho kungase kube esinye sezizathu zokugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo. Kungenzeka ukuthi benza isiqiniseko sokuthi ubudlelwano buya ndawana thize, ngaphambi kokuthi bubonakale emphakathini.
Yize kunengqondo ngokuphelele ukugcina izinto ziyimfihlo isikhashana, akufanele kube unomphela. Uma usunesikhathi eside nithandana futhi basangabaza ukwenza ubuhlobo bube sesidlangalaleni noma imbala ukuthumela isithombe ku-Instagram, kungase kudingeke ingxoxo.
2. Uyinhlanzi nje olwandle
Ukuthi sicabanga ukuthi umuntu uyisithandwa somphefumulo wethu, akusho ukuthi singowakhe. Kungumqondo odabukisayo, kodwa kuyiqiniso noma kunjalo. Nakuba ungase utshale imali ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi ungakwazi ukusiza ugijimela kuma-BFF akho mayelana nokuthi umlingani wakho muhle kangakanani, kungenzeka ukuthi uzizwa ngendlela ehlukile.
Uma umlingani wakho ezama ukugcina ubuhlobo bufihliwe, khona-ke kukhona ithuba elikhulu lokuthi angase angabi sína ngawe futhi usebenzisa wena. Bafuna ukuzuza izinzuzo zobudlelwano obuyimfihlo ngenkathi bebhida isikhathi sabo kuze kufike othile ongcono. Umlingani wakho akafuni ukumosha amathuba akhe nabanye abantu ngokuphumela obala ngesimo sakhe sobudlelwane bamanje.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi lesi kungaba yisizathu sobudlelwano obufihliwe okubo, kufanele uhlole izinyathelo zakho ezilandelayo ngokufanele. Ngokushesha uba nengxoxo ngakho nozakwenu, kuba ngcono. Uma kuvela ukuthi empeleni awuhlonishwa, siphakamisa ukuthi usuke kulobu budlelwano njengoba ukukoshelwa kungashiya imiphumela ehlala njalo engemihle.
3. Ukucindezela komndeni noma komphakathi kungacindezela abantu ebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo
Abantu bavame ukuhlobanisa incazelo yobudlelwano obuyimfihlo nendaba engekho emthethweni. Kodwa akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kunamasiko athile lapho umbono wabazali udlala indima ebalulekile uma kuziwa ekuphileni kothando lwengane yabo. Umbhangqwana udinga imvume yabazali nhlangothi zombili ngaphambi kokuba uphole.
Emiphakathini enjengalena enobudlelwane obuyimfihlo yinto evamile kunento eyodwa. Futhi ubudlelwano obuningi buphela futhi ngenxa yengcindezi evela emindenini nasemphakathini. Okuningi nakho kuxhumene neyakho Amandla omndeni, uma umuntu ehlala edikibalisiwe ukuthi athandane, ngeke avume ngokufutheka ukuthi uyenzile.
Emiphakathini enjengalena enobudlelwane obuyimfihlo yinto evamile kunento eyodwa. Futhi ubudlelwano obuningi buphela futhi ngenxa yengcindezi evela emindenini nasemphakathini. Kwenzeka okufanayo kuJohn, umfundi wezomthetho owathandana noCaroline iminyaka engaba mithathu. Ngalezo zinsuku, kwakudingeka bagcine ubuhlobo babo bungaphansi kwesandla somndeni nezihlobo.
“Ngesikhathi sisafunda ekolishi, kwakuphephile ukuhlala sindawonye kodwa sasingakwazi ukujola ngaphandle kwesikole,” kusho uJohn. “Sasingasakwazi nokuyophuza ikhofi ingasaphathwa eyokuthi sibambane ngezandla phambi kwabantu, kwakuhlale kunovalo lokutholwa umndeni noma izihlobo zethu.
Ngemva kweminyaka engu-3, sanquma ukutshela abazali bethu ukuthi sasithandana kakhulu futhi sasinemisebenzi emihle nezinzile, ngakho sasinethemba lokuthi abazali bethu bazokwamukela lobo buhlobo, kodwa abazange bavume.
Emiphakathini lapho ukuphola kungakhuthazwa ngempela, kusobala ukuthi kungani kukhona ubuhlobo obuyimfihlo. Uma abazali bomlingani wakho bewuhlobo olungase lube nenkinga ngezingane zabo zokuphola, kungase kube isizathu esenza umlingani wakho acabange ukuthi kuwumqondo omuhle ukungavumeli noma ubani athole isififane ngalokho okwenzile.
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4. Umaqondana wakho usavale i-ex yakhe ufuna babuye
Esinye sezizathu ezidabukisayo umuntu egcina ubuhlobo bufihliwe ukuthi yabo Ubudlelwano obudlule buthinta isikhathi sabo samanje eyodwa, njengoba bengakayidedeli i-ex yabo. Ngiyazi ukuthi ufuna ukusiza umlingani wakho. Ubabambe noma sebeziphathisa okobhavu ochichimayo.
Uzwela lwakho lukwenza umangaze futhi ube nomusa, kodwa amathuba, abakuboni nhlobo lokho. Kubo, uyi-rebound. Umuntu ozobamba isandla athobe ubuhlungu kuze kubuye i ex yakhe bagibele ekushoneni kwelanga. Ngakho uma ucabanga ukuthi “uyisoka eliyimfihlo” noma “uyintombi eyimfihlo” kothile, thola ukuthi umlingani wakho wahlukana kudala kangakanani ne-ex yakhe. Uma bekuyindaba yezinyanga, noma okubi kakhulu, emasontweni edlule, uyitholile impendulo yakho.
5. Ukukopela: Isizathu sokugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo
Umuntu akakwazi ukukhuluma ngobudlelwano obufihliwe ngaphandle kokubhekana nokwenzeka kokuphinga. Ukukopela, ngeshwa, kungenye yezizathu ezivame kakhulu zokuthandana okuyimfihlo. Kangangoba, lapho ukhuluma ngobuhlobo obuyimfihlo kumuntu, ukucabangela okuzenzakalelayo ukuthi kukhona uhlobo oluthile lokukopela oluhilelekile.
Izimpawu Eziyi-10 Ukuthi Usebudlelwaneni Obuyimfihlo
U-Oscar Wilde wake wathi, “Into evamile kakhulu ijabulisa uma oyedwa kuphela eyifihla,” futhi kunzima ukungavumelani. Izinto ezifihlwe yimpicabadala ziyasikhanga. Isithelo esingavunyelwe siheha kakhulu ngoba nje senqatshelwe. Ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo bukuvumela ukuthi udle kuleso sithelo esenqatshelwe.
Ukube bekuyilokho nje. “Ukuba nobuhlobo obuyimfihlo kuyabacindezela bobabili abahililekile.” Amanga awodwa adinga amanye ayinkulungwane ukuze akholweke.
Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo kungaba yinselele. Nokho, kuba buhlungu ngokwedlulele lapho uzithola ukukodwa ungahlosile. Ingabe kukhona ukwesaba okuphazamisayo ngemuva kwekhanda lakho ukuthi yonke into ingase ingabi njengoba kufanele? Nazi izimpawu ezingu-10 zobudlelwano obuyimfihlo ukukusiza.
1. I-SO yakho ikwethula njengomngane
Ngenkathi uthandana, nakanjani uzophuma. Futhi maningi amathuba okuthi uma wenza kanjalo, uhlangane nabantu obajwayele. Uma umlingani wakho ekwethula njengomngane noma ephikelela ukuthi wethulwe njengomngane, khona-ke ungaqiniseka ukuthi uhlose ukugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo. Kuyinto eyodwa ukufihlela osebenza nabo ubuhlobo bakho noma ngisho ukutshela abazali bakho uma nisanda kuhlangana, kodwa abangani ngokuvamile bayakwamukela. Uma u-beau wakho efihla ubuhlobo bakho kubo futhi, kusho ukuthi ifulegi elibomvu.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, esikhundleni ukukhanda umlingani wakho ngamatshe, kungase kube ukuhlakanipha ukubhekana nomlingani wakho ngokuthi kungani wethulwa njengomngane hhayi umlingani. Nakuba ungase ugcwale intukuthelo, zama ukuzwa umlingani wakho mayelana nezizathu okungenzeka ukuthi ziyini. Mhlawumbe uzothola ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo ngoba umlingani wakho uzama ukufihla kubazali bakhe.
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2. Umsebenzi wenkundla yezokuxhumana uthumela izimpawu ezixubile
Abantu abaningi kulezi zinsuku babheka izinkundla zokuxhumana njengeWikipedia entsha. Uma kusezinkundleni zokuxhumana, kumele kube okwangempela. Ababheki isikhulu sobudlelwano ngaphandle uma senziwe ngokusemthethweni kuFacebook. Kodwa akukhona lokho uMindy akuzwayo. “Kimina ubudlelwano buyimfihlo, angikaze ngizizwe ngidinga ukuveza ubudlelwano bami ezinkundleni zokuxhumana,” kusho uMindy. Kodwa njengoba kwakuzokwenzeka, kwakuyizinkundla zokuxhumana ezenza uMindy abone ukuthi isoka lakhe lalingethembeki kangako.
Isoka likaMindy, uJay, belisebenza kakhulu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. UMindy uyanezela: “Wayengena kukho konke, wenza ama-reels, wathwebula izithombe zokudla kwakhe, wakubeka, uyayazi imisebenzi,” kunezela uMindy, “Bengilokhu ngikholelwa ukuthi imfihlo yabo bonke ubuhlobo obuphumelelayo iwukuphumela obala, futhi ngizama ukukugcizelela lokho ebuhlotsheni bami. Ngangimtshelile uJay ukuthi angakhuluma nami nganoma yini.” UMindy wachazela uJay ukuthi akayena umuntu onomona.
Kodwa uJay wathatha ukucabanga kwakhe njengophawu lobuthakathaka. Ezinyangeni ezintathu ebudlelwaneni, uMindy waqala ukuqaphela okuthile. “UJay ubefaka izithombe afake ama-tag abantu besifazane kodwa angikaze mina, kwakuhle ngaze ngawabona ama-comments, abesifazane bebedlala naye futhi ubebuye aqome. ukudlala ngothando okungenangozi. Kungaba okuthile okuhambisana nokuthi, 'Angikwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngawe' noma into enesibindi njengokuthi 'Ngifisa sengathi ubunami njengamanje, ukuze ngikubonise indlela engizizwa ngayo'.”
UMindy wayesevele esemaphethelweni ngesikhathi kungena umbhalo ocingweni lukaJay. "Kwakungenye yamantombazane ayedlala nawo futhi yathi, "Iphunga lakho lihlala emashidini ami." KuMindy, kwakungasekho ukubuyela emuva lapho ehlukana noJay futhi uzizwa engcono ngaphandle kwakhe.
UMindy usakholelwa ukuthi akuyona yonke into edinga ukuba sezinkundleni zokuxhumana, kodwa nakanjani ikwazisa okuningi mayelana nokuthi ubudlelwano bakho bumi kuphi.
3. Akekho noyedwa kubangane noma umndeni wakhe owaziyo ukuthi uyajola
Sonke sinalowo muntu oyedwa ezimpilweni zethu esimtshela yonke into. Lowo muntu wazi zonke izinto ezibalulekile kithi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zinkulu noma zincane kangakanani. Futhi noma ngabe umuntu wakho uyimfihlo kangakanani, naye uzoba nomuntu abathululela kuye isifuba.
Uma usunesikhathi eside uthandana naye futhi ungazange uhlangane noma ukhulume ngisho nomngane wabo oseduze, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi sebenomuntu, noma okubi nakakhulu, sebeshadile kakade. Ubuhlobo obuyimfihlo ngemva komshado abantu abaningi ababuthandi. Kungakho i-SO yakho kungenzeka ikufihle ngisho naku-BFF yayo. Uma umngane ongcono kakhulu wozakwenu engazi ngobukhona bakho, lokho kusho ukuthi ifulegi elibomvu.
Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo balolu hlobo isikhathi eside nakanjani kuzodala ukusola. Ngeke uzwe lutho ngabangane bomlingani wakho, noma ngeke baze bakutshele okuningi mayelana nokuthi bakuphi futhi nini. Ngokuhambisana neqiniso lokuthi uyisoka eliyimfihlo noma intombi eyimfihlo, uzoqaphela konke izimpawu zomlingani okhohlisayo esimweni esinjalo.
4. Ulokhu uvakashela izindawo ezifanayo
Uma uzithola uya ezindaweni ezimbalwa ezikhethiwe ngokuphindaphindiwe, kuzobe kungezinye zezimpawu zobudlelwano obuyimfihlo. Kujwayelekile kakhulu futhi kunempilo ukuthi umbhangqwana uzame izinto ezintsha futhi okuhlanganisa nokuhlola izindawo ezintsha. Sonke sinendawo ekhethekile kithi futhi siyivakashela kakhulu.
Kodwa uma wena nozakwenu niqhubeka nokuhlangana ezindaweni ezifanayo, ngaphandle koshintsho oluncane kakhulu emizileni yenu yosuku, cishe kungenxa yokuthi bayazethemba ukuthi ngeke batholwe yinoma ubani kulezi zindawo. Futhi bangaqhubeka ne-façade ngenkathi bevuna izinzuzo zobudlelwano obuyimfihlo.
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5. Bazizwa bedidekile lapho benawe esidlangalaleni
Lapho usothandweni, ingabe umlingani wakho uhlala ekhetha ekhoneni elimnyama noma idokodo? Ngibheja bathi "abafuni ukuthi kube khona okuphazamisa usuku lwakho." Ungazithengisi, kuyisu. Iqiniso umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano obuyimfihlo nobuyimfihlo ukuthi ngenkathi usebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo, wena nomlingani wakho ningahle ningabikho ememezela uthando lwakho komunye nomunye ophahleni lwezindlu, kodwa noma yimuphi wenu ngeke agweme ukwethula omunye njengentombi/isoka lakhe kumuntu amaziyo.
Kodwa uma u-beau wakho ehlala ebheka phezu kwehlombe lakhe futhi edada ngaphansi kwetafula ukuze agweme abantu ababaziyo ngenkathi benawe, sekuyisikhathi sokuhlola iqiniso. Ngakho-ke bheka izimpawu ezifana nomlingani wakho ovumela ukuhamba kwesandla sakho njalo lapho becabanga ukuthi babone umuntu abamaziyo, noma lapho bengeke bazitike kunoma iyiphi i-PDA.
6. Izinsuku zakho zivame ukuba yi-Netflix futhi zipholile
Ikhaya yilapho othembela khona isihlalo sendlu yangasese. Ayikho into efana nokunethezeka kwekhaya. Uyazi ukuthi ukudla kuzohlanzeka, kube nempilo futhi ngokuthanda kwakho, ungadakwa ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokuthi uzophela umgwaqo. Ingasaphathwa-ke, ihambisana kakhulu nesabelomali usuku umqondo. Ngakho-ke umcabango weNetflix kanye nokuphola usuku wamukelekile ngempela isikhathi esiningi.
Kodwa-ke, uma ngempela zonke izinsuku eninazo nobabili zihlala zisendlini, kungase kudingeke ukuthi ukhale izinsimbi ze-alamu. Yebo, ezinye izizathu ezifana nalezi engizibalile zingase zibe yizici ezishukumisayo, kodwa akulimazi ukuphuma njalo ngemva kwesikhashana, akunjalo? Ngisho noma ukwazi ukukhipha umlingani wakho endlini, cishe ngeke abe nentshisekelo yokubamba isandla sakho. Uma lokho kwenzeka, awudingi ngempela ukuthi uzibuze izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Ingabe ungigcina imfihlo?” usuyitholile impendulo yakho.
7. Bayacasuka uma ukhuluma ngabo kubangani bakho
Indlela umuntu akhuluma ngayo ngobudlelwano bakhe yinto okufanele umbhangqwana uxoxe ngayo bese ufinyelela esiphethweni. UNina wayenze lokho kanye. Wakhuluma noMark futhi bobabili banquma ukugcina izinto ziphansi. Kodwa ngempela ukuthi into uNina ayibona iphansi kangakanani ngemva kokuthululela isifuba kumngane wakhe omkhulu mayelana nendaba ubudlelwano obusha.
"UMark wayethukuthele. Ngangisanda kutshela i-BFF yami ukuthi ngeke ngikwazi ukuhlangana naye ngalolo suku ngoba ngase ngivele ngenze izinhlelo noMark. Futhi lokho kwabangela uMark ukuba abaleke. Waqala ukuklabalasa nokujikijela izinto futhi wacasuka ngempela. Kwangicasula kakhulu. Ngathatha okhiye bami ngaya endaweni yomngane wami ngesaba ukuba yedwa," kusho uNina.
UMark washayela uNina ucingo ngakusasa exolisa, kodwa kwase kwephuze kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi. “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ukugcina ubuhlobo buyimfihlo, ngokuqinisekile kunezinzuzo ezithile zobuhlobo obuyimfihlo.
Ebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo kodwa hhayi obuyimfihlo, usengakhuluma ngomlingani wakho kubangani bakho abaseduze njalo nje. Kodwa-ke, ebuhlotsheni obuyimfihlo ngokuphelele, ungathola into efana noNina.
8. Umaqondana wakho ukuphathisa okobhudi phambi kwabantu
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umngane nomlingani wakho. Imfihlo yabo bonke ubudlelwano obuphumelelayo busobala futhi ukuba umngane nomuntu wakho okhethekile izokuvumela lokho. Kodwa uma isoka lakho likwenza uzizwe sengathi ungumfowabo komunye umama phambi kwabantu, kungase kudingeke wenze okuthile ngakho.
Awudingi ukuthi nibukane ngamehlo enhliziyo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi asikuceli ukuthi ube neseshini yokuzenzela endaweni yomphakathi. Futhi yebo, ungaqhumisa isibhakela ukuze uhalalisele. Kodwa ukumane uphathwe “njengobhuti” esidlangalaleni kungasho ukuthi bazama ukukhombisa ukuthi akukho ukukhangana phakathi kwenu nobabili. Futhi lokho kuzwakala kungalungile.
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9. Awukutholi ukunakwa okudingayo
UGeetarsh uthi: “Lapho umuntu oseqomile kakade noma oshadile eneshende eliyimfihlo, akakwazi ukunaka noma ukuchitha isikhathi komunye umngane womshado, futhi lokhu kubuthinta kabi ubuhlobo babo nabo bobabili. Ingabe kuzwakala sengathi umlingani wakho akekho lapho umdinga kakhulu? Ingabe ukwazi ukubabona kuphela ohlelweni lwabo? Kungenzeka ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo nawe.
10. Isimo sobudlelwano siyimpicabadala
Abanye abantu bawudlala kahle umdlalo wokuqomisana. Bangase bakwethule kubangane babo kusenesikhathi, kodwa njengoba isikhathi sihamba, awusakwazi ukuqhubeka ungene embuthanweni wabo wangaphakathi. Lapho uhlangana nabangane babo, abazi ukuthi basabela kanjani kuwe. Ingabe isimo sobudlelwano bakhe nawe sibonakala siyimfihlakalo kubangani bakhe? Ingabe ufuna ukukufihla emhlabeni like a imfihlo encane engcolile?
Qaphela, izimpawu zobudlelwano obuyimfihlo zigcwele yonke indawo. Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho utshele abangani bakhe ukuthi ubudlelwano abukho, noma okubi nakakhulu, ukuthi ufuna ukuhlukana nawe kodwa ngeke ubayeke. Funda izimpawu, ulalele imizwelo yakho, futhi uma uzwa ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, sukuma uhambe. Noma ubani ongakuphathi kahle akakufanele.
Akunakuphikwa ukuthi kukhona okuhle nokubi ebudlelwaneni obuyimfihlo. Nakuba ngezinye izikhathi kuwumqondo omuhle ngempela ukugcina ubuhlobo bufihliwe, isikhathi esiningi buholela ebuhlungwini benhliziyo. Okubalulekile wukwazi ukuthi umi kuphi ngempela ebudlelwaneni, uma ubudlelwano benu bungakuniki inhlonipho nenjabulo, ungacabanga ukukuyeka. Ufanelwe lonke uthando kanye nokuhle kakhulu okuhlinzekwa wumhlaba kanye nokunye okwengeziwe. Khumbula lokho.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
