Izimpawu Eziyi-11 Zomshado Ojabulisayo, Onempilo

Buza noma yisiphi isihlobo esilondolozayo futhi bazokutshela ukuthi umthombo wayo yonke injabulo eMhlabeni umshado. Kodwa lezi zimpawu zomshado onempilo zisebenza kuphela kulabo ababopha ifindo lomuntu ofanele. Ukukhetha okungalungile, noma ukungahambisani, noma isimo esibucayi esingalindelekile singadala izinkinga ezinkulu enhlanganweni. Kodwa uma uzizwa sengathi unenhlanhla futhi kukhona indawo yezingxabano ezinempilo kuphela ebudlelwaneni bakho, khona-ke kusobala ukuthi usemshadweni oqinile. Thinta ukhuni! 

Eminye imishado iyaqina noma ishintshe ibe yimbi njengoba isikhathi sihamba. Kodwa kukhona injabulo enkulu elethwa yilobu bunye obungcwele uma unikela impilo yakho kumuntu ofanele. Ngokusho kocwaningo , ukuba semshadweni ojabulisayo kuhlobene nempilo engcono yengqondo neyomzimba. Ukuze sithole ukuthi singawuhlakulela kanjani umshado ojabulisayo, sixhumane nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u- Aakhansha Varghese (M.Sc. Psychology), ogxile ezinhlotsheni ezahlukene zokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano - kusukela ekuqomeni kuya ekuhlukaneni, kanye nobudlelwano bangaphambi komshado kuya ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo.

Izimpawu Eziyi-11 Eziphezulu Zomshado Onempilo

U-Aakhansha uthi, “Ubuhlobo bomshado obunempilo buyohlanganisa izici eziningi ezifana nokwethembana, inhlonipho, ukholo, ukwethembeka, ukuzinikela, nokuqonda. Nakuba lezi zici zibalulekile, kudingeka sijule sijule futhi sibone ukuthi lezi zici zidlala kanjani indima ekuletheni amandla amahle ekuphileni kwakho komshado.” Ake sibheke ezinye zezibonelo zomshado onempilo. Ungasebenzisa lezi zimpawu nezibonelo ukuze wahlulele izinga lobudlelwano bakho.

1. Bobabili abashadile bazimisele ukufunda ngomunye nomunye 

U-Aakhansha uthi, “Njengomelaphi wombhangqwana, ngokuvamile, ngihlangana nalolu daba lwabashadile abaphelelwa isithakazelo komunye nomunye njengoba iminyaka idlula.” Bobabili abalingani baba matasa kakhulu ekuphileni imithwalo yemfanelo nemisebenzi ephathelene nempilo yabo yomshado kangangokuthi bayakhohlwa ukwazisa umuntu wabo noma ukwenzana bajabule.

"Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane, ukuhola imali yomndeni, noma ukunakekela abazali asebekhulile, abalingani ngezinye izikhathi bayakhohlwa ukukhombisa uthando komunye nomunye. Lokhu kungabangela ukuthi bobabili noma bobabili bazizwe sengathi kukhona ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ngokomzwelo futhi lokho kubenza bacabange ukuthi babhajwe emshadweni omubi. Uma kufanele ube nomshado ophumelelayo , ungayeki ukufunda ngomunye nomunye."

Enye yezimpawu ezibalulekile zomlingani onothando ukuthi akayeki ukufuna ukwazi ngawe. Ukuze ube nomshado oqinile futhi ugcine imizwa engemihle ikhona, nazi ezinye izinto ongaqala ukuzenza ukuze uqhubeke ufunda ngomlingani wakho:

• Khuluma nabo nsuku zonke ngesithakazelo nangozwela
• Qaphela izenzo zabo kanye nesimiso
• Ungagcini nje ngokulalela kodwa futhi ubenze bazizwe bezwiwa
• Hlanganyelani isidlo esisodwa ndawonye futhi nixoxe ngosuku lwenu 
• Qhubeka ubakhumbuza ukuthi ulapha kubo noma ngabe kwenzekani 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imikhuba Eyi-8 Yemibhangqwana Ebuhlotsheni Obuqinile Nobunempilo

2. Nikhula ngabanye nandawonye 

Ukuthi ufuna ukukhula ngamunye ngamunye, akusho ukuthi yizindaba ezimbi emshadweni wakho. Kusho nje ukuthi uzenza ngcono kuzo zonke izici zempilo yakho. Abantu abasemishadweni enempilo bakholelwa ekukhuleni ndawonye kanye nomuntu ngamunye.

Kusho ukuthini ukukhula ndawonye? Lapho ebuzwa ku -Reddit , umsebenzisi uphendule wathi, “Kusho ukwenza izinqumo ndawonye, ​​ngokubambisana. Ukuklama ikusasa ndawonye nokwenza kwenzeke. Kokubili kulolongwa yizinto ezifanayo, izenzakalo ezifanayo. Ukubhekana nezikhathi ezinzima ndawonye nokuba nazo kuqinisa isibopho senu kunokuba kunihlukanise. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, niba yiyunithi eyodwa, nisebenza ndawonye ngokwemvelo kunangaphambili.”

3. Nibonisana umusa 

Imfihlo yomshado onempilo umusa. Yinto ehlanganisa abantu ababili ndawonye. Yebo, kulula kanjalo. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukuba nesihawu kumlingani wakho kunezinzuzo eziningi. Lukhombisa ukuthi uma wenza into enhle kumuntu omthandayo, njengokwenza ikhofi lakhe lasekuseni noma ukumbonisa uthando olwengeziwe, kungathuthukisa inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakubona noma cha.

Uzokwazi ukuthi usendleleni efanele uma umshado wakho ugcwele eminye imizwelo emihle nezici ezifana nalezi: 

• Ububele
• Care
• Ukwaneliseka 
• Chemistry 
• Ukuphana
• Uzwela

4. Nobabili nikholelwa ekuthetheleleni nasekukhohlweni

Ukuthethelela ngokuyisisekelo kuyisenzo esilula sokuyeka ubuhlungu kanye nokubi okwenziwe kuwe ngumuntu. Ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni kubaluleke kakhulu futhi kufanele kube enye yezindinganiso eziyinhloko empilweni yomshado yawo wonke umuntu. Esinye sezibonakaliso zokuthi unomlingani omuhle kakhulu yilapho bengakubambeleli amagqubu noma inzondo. Uma wena nomlingani wakho nivumelana ngokuxolisa nokulungisa, uyakwamukela ukuthi bangomunye umuntu okwaziyo ukwenza amaphutha.

Izifundo zembule ukuthi ukuthethelela yikho okwenza umshado onempilo uqine nakakhulu. Kunikeza ukwaneliseka okukhulu emshadweni kanye nokuzinza. Ukuze wakhe umshado ojabulisayo kanye nobudlelwano obujabulisayo, khetha ukuthethelela umlingani wakho ngamabomu lapho ekuphathe kabi ngamazwi noma ngokuziphatha kwakhe ngokungazi.

5. Zonke izinhlobo zokusondelana ziyenziwa 

Naphezu kokubhekana nengcindezi yomsebenzi nokukhulisa izingane noma izilwane ezifuywayo noma izitshalo, uma wena nomlingani wakho nisaqhuba zonke izinhlobo zokusondelana, khona-ke kusobala ukuthi nisemshadweni ojabulisayo. Bonke ubudlelwano obubalulekile kufanele bube nalezi zinhlobo ezinhlanu zokusondelana ezilandelayo:

• Ukusondelana ngokomzimba
• Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo 
• Ukusondelana ngokobuhlakani
• Ukusondelana okungokomoya 
• Ukusondelana komphakathi 

Ukusondelana kwakha isisekelo sobudlelwane obunempilo ngoba kuqinisekisa ukuxhumana okunenjongo, okuholela ekuxhumaneni okungcono kwemizwa. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Umshado Ubalulekile? Ochwepheshe Babala Izizathu Eziyi-13

6. Impilo yakho yocansi imnandi

Ukusondelana nobulili akuyona into efanayo. Kodwa ukusondelana ngokuqinisekile kuholela ocansini olungcono. Ucansi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, lungase lungaholeli ekwandiseni ukusondelana. Futhi niyazi ukuthi bathini? Uma ucansi lumnandi, u-5% wobudlelwane. Kodwa uma kukubi, kungama-95% obudlelwano. 

Uma inhlalakahle yenu yobulili nobabili inakekelwa, khona-ke ingenye yezimpawu zomshado ojabulisayo. Izifundo zibonise ukuthi ubuhlobo bobulili obuphephile nobujabulisayo bungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ekugcineni umshado uphilile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma ungazi ukuthi ungamjabulisa kanjani umlingani wakho, nanka amanye amathiphu:

• Gxila kakhulu ku foreplay, ungajahi
• Sebenzisa inkulumo engcolile ukuze unukele izinto ekamelweni 
• Thintanani njalo usuku lonke, ngezindlela ezingezona ezocansi
• Linga ngezinto ezintsha
• Hlanganyela enkulumweni yomcamelo imizuzu embalwa ngemva kocansi 

7. Kuwe, ukungqubuzana kujwayelekile

U-Aakhansha uthi, “Umshado oqinile akusho ukuthi abathandanayo abaxabani. Abashadile abajabulayo balwa ngendlela enenhlonipho futhi ningazami ukubekana phansi ukuze nje ninqobe ingxabano. Uma nobabili nilungisa izingxabano futhi nilwe ngendlela enempilo lapho uqinisekisa ukuthi imizwa yomlingani wakho ayilimali, ushaye i-jackpot. Unayo ikhono lokubonisana noma ukungaboni ngaso linye. ngentukuthelo.”

Kodwa uma nilwa ngokuphindaphindiwe ngezinto ezifanayo, kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi omunye wabalingani emshadweni akajabuli. Impilo yakho yomshado iyonke ingase iwohloke ngokushesha uma lokhu kunganakekelwa ngokushesha.

8. Unemingcele enempilo 

Imingcele enempilo ibaluleke kakhulu uma ufuna umshado uhlale. Kuyindlela abalingani ababili abanquma ngayo ukuhlangana endaweni ephakathi ngokutshelana ukuthi ngeke babekezelele izinto ezithile. Kunemikhawulo ethile kanye nemingcele enye okungafanele yeqe.

Ezinye zezibonelo zemingcele enempilo zifaka:

• Umlingani oyedwa akanasibopho ngenjabulo yomunye umlingani. Yebo, bangazitika ezenzweni ezincane zothando ukuze benze omunye ajabule kodwa umuntu oyedwa akufanele neze abekwe icala ngenjabulo nokungajabuli komunye umuntu.
• Akukho ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo njengokukhanyiswa ngegesi, ukukhanda ngamatshe, imvelo elawulayo, ukukhohlisa, ukubamba icala, nokuqamba amagama.
• Ukugcina izinto ezibalulekile, ngasese, noma ezinzima phakathi kwabo nokungavumeli omunye umuntu wesithathu angene emshadweni 
• Ukukhuluma ngamaqiniso mayelana nalokho okulindele

9. Nina nobabili nihlala niyiqembu 

U-Aakhansha uthi, “Imishado emihle kakhulu yakhelwe ekusebenzisaneni njengeqembu. Esinye sezibonakaliso zokuthi unomlingani omuhle yilapho nobabili nisebenza ndawonye ukuze niqhube izinto kahle. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane, ukuletha imali emndenini, ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya , noma ukuthola indlela yokubhekana nobunzima.”

Uma kunokubambisana kukho konke, niyojabulela ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye okuzothuthukisa isibopho senu somshado. Yibani yiqembu - ababili ngokumelene nomhlaba - futhi ubone ukuthi umshado wakho uchuma kanjani ngokushesha. 

10. Awuqhathanisi ubudlelwano bakho nabanye 

Lokhu kubalulekile njengezinye izimpawu ngoba uma uqhathanisa umshado wakho nabanye, uzwa sengathi kukhona okushodayo phakathi kwakho noshade naye. Ungajabula ngempela ngalokho obusiswe ngakho uma ungazixabanisi nalabo abanohambo oluhluke kakhulu kunolwakho.

Ungafaki impilo yakho yomshado ibe inkimbinkimbi ngokuwela ogibeni lokuqhathanisa. Izokweba yonke intokozo yakho futhi uyoyeka ukubonga izinto osuvele unazo. 

11. Ningabangane abakhulu bomunye nomunye

Kungubuciko ukuba umngane nomlingani wakho. Kuhle, kuyanelisa, futhi kukugcina ujabule. Ukuthola umngane omkhulu kumlingani wakho kufanele kube ngolunye lobudlelwano obukhulu kakhulu oyoke ube nabo. Niyakujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye. Nihleka kakhulu futhi niyazi ukuthi ningazijabulisa kanjani. Nikhuluma omunye nomunye ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa. Ningaba sengozini komunye nomunye. Niyazi ukushiyeka komunye nomunye kodwa niyakwamukela ngendlela efanayo.

Ungoti kwezobudlelwano, u-Aakhansha uthi, “Imishado isho amakhaya anempilo lapho abantu ababili bengahlala khona ngokuthula, kudinga umsebenzi omkhulu ukuze kuphumelele. Sithemba ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho buyindawo yakho ejabulisayo, ikhaya lapho ungakhululeka khona ngemva kosuku olunzima. 

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