I-Foreplay: Ngaphezu Kokuzifudumeza Nje 

Uma kuziwa ocansini, kulula ukugxila emcimbini omkhulu. Kodwa uke wema ucabange ngokubaluleka kwe-foreplay? Kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​njengomqeqeshi wobudlelwano nokusondelana, ngibone imibhangqwana eminingi ithola izimpilo ezingajabulisi zocansi kanye nezimpilo zothando ngoba i-foreplay ibinganelisi. Bavame ukuza kimi bezizwa bekhungathekile futhi bengaxhumekile komunye nomunye. Ngaphandle kokudlala kusengaphambili okwanelisayo, isipiliyoni socansi siba ngomshini futhi singagcwalisi. Kubalulekile ukuthi imibhangqwana yenze isikhathi nomzamo wokudlala ngaphambili, njengoba kuyisihluthulelo socansi oluvusa ingqondo.

Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi ngendlela efanele nesiqondiso, kungenzeka ukubuyisela inhlansi futhi uthathe okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kocansi kuyise ezingeni elisha. Ungavumeli ukuntula i-foreplay eyanelisayo konakalisa ubuhlobo bakho! Ngakho-ke, yini i-foreplay? Njengoba uDkt. Laura Berman, isazi sobulili esaziwayo nochwepheshe kwezobudlelwane, ekubeka, “Ukudlala kusengaphambili kuyisithako esiyimfihlo sokuhlangenwe nakho kobulili okwanelisa ngempela.” Futhi ingabe uhambo alwanelisi ukwedlula indawo oya kuyo? I-Foreplay iwuhambo, futhi wuhambo okufanele uluthathe.

Izinzuzo Zomzimba Nezingokomzwelo Ze-Foreplay

Ukudlala kusengaphambili ucansi akukhona nje ukwakha ukulangazela kanye nesasasa, futhi kunezinzuzo ezingathi sína ngomzimba wakho nengqondo:

• Kungakhuphula ukugeleza kwegazi esithweni sangasese, kwenze kube lula ukuthi abesifazane bagcotshwe futhi amadoda afinyelele ukuqhanyelwa.
• Ingakhulula ama-endorphin okuzizwa kahle athuthukisa isimo semizwa. Iphinde yehlise izinga lehomoni yokucindezeleka iCortisol emzimbeni
• I-Foreplay isiza ukukhulula i-Oxytocin, eyaziwa ngokuthi i-hormone yothando. Lokhu kuqinisa isibopho se ukwethemba ubudlelwano kanye nokusondelana phakathi kwabalingani

Ungayifaka Kanjani I-Foreplay Ebudlelwaneni Bakho

Noma ungase ufune ubulawu kanye nesasasa langaphambili elingakulethela empilweni yakho yocansi, kwesinye isikhathi kungaba nzima ukwazi ukuthi ungasifaka kanjani esimisweni sakho sansuku zonke. Nawa amathiphu ambalwa we-foreplay angakusiza ukuthi uqalise:

1. Zinike isikhathi sakho

Ukuthola isikhathi se-foreplay kungaba inselele, ikakhulukazi ngomsebenzi omatasa kanye nezinhlelo zomuntu siqu. Kepha kunezindlela zokwenza isikhathi sokudlala inkanuko, noma ngabe unohlelo olumatasatasa:

• Ihlele: Njengoba nje ungahlela umhlangano noma ukujima, hlela ucansi futhi wenze isikhathi se-foreplay. Kwenze kube yingxenye evamile yenqubo yakho futhi ukuphathe njengokuzibophezela okubalulekile. Lona umbono olula we-foreplay ongakusiza ukuthi uqalise
• Yiba nobuciko: Kunokuba nithandane nje ebusuku, zama ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze ekuseni noma phakathi nekhefu lasemini. Lokhu kungengeza umuzwa wokuzenzakalela kanye nesasasa ekuhlanganeni kwakho kocansi
• Yakha ukungezwani kocansi: Yenza ucansi nomlingani wakho usuku lonke ngokudlala ngothando, ukugcona, nokuthandana. Lokhu kuzokwakha ukushuba kocansi ngaphambi kokuba izinto zifike ngisho ekamelweni
• Ungakuphathi njengomsebenzi: Khumbula ukuthi ukwenza isikhathi se-foreplay akumele kube umsebenzi, kungaba yindlela ejabulisayo nejabulisayo yokwengeza okuhlukile ebudlelwaneni bakho. Futhi kuwufanele ukwenza umzamo!

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2. Ukubeka inkundla

I-foreplay ayigcini nje ngokuthinta ngokomzimba kodwa futhi imayelana nokudala isipiliyoni sezinzwa. I-foreplay ijatshulelwa kakhulu ngokubandakanya zonke izinzwa ezinhlanu. Umculo, amakhandlela, iphunga, umdanso, kanye nokuhlikihla umzimba kungaba izindlela ezinhle zokuzwa i-foreplay evusa inkanuko ekusiza ngempela ukuthi uxhumane nomlingani wakho. Nazi ezinye zezindlela ze-foreplay ongazihlola:

• Kubonakala: Izinto ezinjengokukhanyisa amakhandlela noma ukubeka isimo sengqondo ngokukhanya okuthambile
• Umsindo: Sebenzisa umculo noma imisindo yemvelo ukuze uthuthukise isimo
  -Umculo: Umculo ungamisa isimo futhi udale i-ambiance engasiza imibhangqwana ikhululeke futhi ingene esikhathini. Umculo onensayo, ovusa inkanuko ungaba indlela enhle yokubeka inkundla yokuzijabulisa nokusondelana
  -Imvelo: Imisindo yemvelo - imvula ngokumelene nengilazi yakho yefasitela, amagagasi olwandle, noma umculo wehlathi - nakho kungaduduza kakhulu futhi kuphumule. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi uthola indawo eyimfihlo futhi ephephile
• Hlonipha: Amakhandlela angangeza ku-ambience, enze umoya ofudumele futhi othokomele. I-aromatherapy ingasetshenziswa futhi ukuthuthukisa isimo sengqondo. Ungasebenza namafutha abalulekile anjenge-lavender, i-vanilla, ne-jasmine asebenza kahle kakhulu ekudaleni umoya ovusa inkanuko nokuphumula.
• Thinta: Ukuthintana ngokomzimba kudlala indima ebalulekile ekuthuthukiseni ukusondelana ebuhlotsheni. Ungazama: Umdanso: Ukudansa kusondeza imizimba yenu bese nithintana ngendlela engahlangene nocansi, okungaba ukusondelana ngendlela emangalisayo. ukudansa okuphansi, okuvusa inkanuko kuyindlela enhle yokuba umbhangqwana uxhumane ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala; Ukushisa: Ukubhucunga imizimba yomunye kungaba inkanuko ngendlela emangalisayo futhi kuyindlela enhle yokukhululeka
• Nambitha: Ukunambitheka kungafakwa ngokuqabulana okuvusa inkanuko noma ukusetshenziswa kwezithambisi ezinothosiwe

Lokhu kudala i-ambiance engasiza bobabili ozakwethu ukuba bakhululeke futhi bangene esimweni sokusondelana, kanye nokwakha ukulangazelela kanye nenjabulo. Ukubandakanya zonke izinzwa ezinhlanu, okuhlanganisa ukubona, ukuthinta, ukuhogela, ukunambitha, nomsindo kungenza umuzwa wocansi wanelise kakhudlwana kubo bobabili abalingani.

Kodwa-ke, izithiyo zethu ngokomzwelo kanye nobuhlungu besikhathi esidlule kungasivimbela ekuzivuleleni ngokuphelele enjabulweni yothando. Ngake ngaba neklayenti lesifazane elalingafuni ukuvumela umlingani walo ukuthi ahlole umzimba walo ngesikhathi sothando. Wayezikhathaza ngokubukeka kwakhe futhi enomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakhe ngeke amthole ekhanga . Ngokusebenza kwethu ndawonye, ​​wafunda ukuthanda nokwamukela umzimba wakhe, futhi ngenxa yalokho, wakwazi ukujabulela ngokugcwele isenzo sothando nomlingani wakhe.

Elinye iklayenti, umbhangqwana, lalihlanganyela kuphela ebumnyameni obuphelele. Abakaze babonane ngesikhathi sesenzo. Lokhu bekudalwa wukuhlukumezeka okwedlule obekubenza bazisole ngemizimba yabo. Sasebenzela ukwakha ukwethembana nokuzithanda, futhi ekugcineni bakwazi ukudedela ukungazethembi kwabo futhi bahileleke ekusondeleni ekukhanyeni. Kube yinguquko enhle ukufakaza kanye nobufakazi beqiniso lokuthi ukuqeqesha ukusondelana nokuzithanda kungasiza ukunqoba lezi zinkinga.

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3. Khuluma ngezidingo zakho kanye nezifiso zakho ngesikhathi sokudlala

Umdlalo wangaphambili wezocansi umayelana nokuxhumana nomunye, ukuba sesikhathini, nokuwujabulela. Okuwukuphela kwendlela ongakwenza ngayo lokho iwukuxhumana nophathina wakho futhi umazise ukuthi yini ekujabulisayo futhi ekududuzayo kakhulu. Ungalindeli ukuthi umlingani wakho afunde ingqondo yakho!

Kodwa-ke, ukukhuluma ngezifiso zakho, imingcele, amaphupho ocansi , kanye nalokho okukushukumisayo kungaba yinto eyesabekayo. Yingakho ochwepheshe abanjengoDkt. Emily Morse begcizelela ukubaluleka kokukhulumisana okuvulekile nokwethembeka, hhayi ngesikhathi sokuzijabulisa, kodwa phakathi nobudlelwano bakho.

Futhi khumbula, ukuxhumana kuwumgwaqo onezindlela ezimbili. Qiniseka ukuthi ulalela izidingo nezifiso zomlingani wakho futhi. Futhi ungesabi ukuphinde uvakashele ingxoxo njengoba nobabili nikhula futhi nithuthuka!

4. Amaphutha Avamile Okufanele Uwagweme ku-Foreplay

I-Foreplay kufanele iqhume kubo bobabili ozakwethu kodwa kwesinye isikhathi senza amaphutha angasusa ubumnandi. Kungakho elinye lamathiphu abaluleke kakhulu we-foreplay engikuphathele wona namuhla wukugwema amaphutha alandelayo:

Egijima ngayo

Njengomqeqeshi wobudlelwano nokusondelana, ngizibonele mathupha ukubaluleka kokungasheshi ukudlala ngaphambi kocansi nokuzinika isikhathi sokwakha ukulindela kanye nenjabulo. UDkt. Ian Kerner, isazi sezocansi kanye nombhali, naye uphakamisa okufanayo. Ngeshwa, ngithole ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi ayinelisekile ngempilo yayo yocansi ngoba ukudlala ngaphambi kocansi kuyashesha noma kuyadlulwa. Abantu bagxile kakhulu ekuzijabuliseni noma ekubhekaneni nengcindezi yokusebenza futhi abaziniki isikhathi sokuhlolana, ukuvusana noma ngisho nokuveza izidingo zabo. Ngihlala ngitshela amakhasimende ami esikhundleni sokugxila emgomweni wokugcina, ngijabulele uhambo.

Ukunganaki ubumnandi bomlingani wakho

Elinye iphutha engivame ukulibona izithandani ukudebeselela ubumnandi bomuntu othandana naye ngesikhathi se-foreplay. UDkt. Kerner ugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abalingani banelisekile, hhayi oyedwa kuphela. Angikwazanga ukuvuma okuningi, ngemuva kwakho konke, yini i-foreplay uma kungeyona indlela yokudala ukusondelana nokuxhumana? Kubalulekile ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi bobabili abalingani basekhasini elilodwa ukuze bathole ucansi olugculisayo.

Yingakho ngihlala ngikhuthaza amaklayenti ami ukuthi axhumane kangcono nabalingani bawo , aveze izidingo nezifiso zawo futhi aqinisekise ukuthi ayanikeza futhi athola injabulo ngesikhathi sokudlala kwangaphambili.

Okufanele amadoda akwazi

Uma kukhulunywa ngokudlala ngaphambilini, bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane kumele baqonde ukuthi imizimba yabo isabela ngendlela ehlukile ekushukunyisweni ngokocansi. Amadoda ngokuvamile athola ukuthi izitho zawo zangasese zizwela kakhulu futhi zisabela ekuthinteni, kuyilapho imizimba yonke yabesifazane ingaba umthombo wenjabulo. Lokhu kusho ukuthi abesifazane bangadinga okungaphezu nje kokushukunyiswa kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane noma se-clitoral ukuze bajabulele ngokugcwele futhi bangene esimweni sokusondelana. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi yini evusela abesifazane.

Ngake ngaba nekhasimende, indoda eyayingazi ukuthi ijabulisa umkakhe. Wayevele ambambe ngemuva ngaphandle kokugxila noma isikhathi se-foreplay. Ngamfundisa ukwehlisa ijubane, ukudala umoya ngomculo, futhi aqonde ukubaluleka kokuhlola wonke umzimba womuntu wesifazane ngesikhathi sokudlala. Manje bajabulela isipiliyoni socansi esigculisayo ndawonye.

Abesilisa bangahola ngentshiseko ekuhloleni umzimba wesifazane ngamasu anjengokulunywa, ukukhothwa, ukuqabula, nokusebenzisa iminwe nolimi. Lokhu kungafaka izindawo ezifana nentamo, izindlebe, namathanga angaphakathi, avame ukunganakwa kodwa angazwela ngendlela emangalisayo futhi ajabulise kwabesifazane.

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Okumele ukwazi abesifazane

Ngokufanayo, kubalulekile ukuthi abesifazane baqonde ukuthi kuyini ukusondelana nendoda . Ngake ngaba nombhangqwana osemusha njengamakhasimende lapho owesifazane wayehlala egqoka amabhulukwe amafushane, ama-t-shirt, nama-pajamas. Ngasikisela ukuthi simthengele izinto ezithile ku-inthanethi, ngosizo lomyeni wakhe. Umyeni wakhetha izingubo zangaphansi ayezithola zikhanga futhi wamthengela zona njengesipho. Lokhu futhi kwaba yithuba elihle lokuthi afunde ukuthi yini ezomvusa. Waqala ukugqoka izingubo ezinhle kakhulu ngenxa yomlingani wakhe futhi kwasiza ekuthuthukiseni ukusondelana kwabo ngokocansi.

Ngihlale ngikhumbuza amakhasimende ami ukuthi amadoda avuselelwe amehlo futhi kubalulekile ukuthi abesifazane baziveze ngendlela ekhangayo. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise ukugqoka ngendlela ekhangayo kumlingani, ukuba nenkanuko, nokunuka kamnandi. Kuyisinyathelo esincane esingathuthukisa kakhulu ubudlelwano bocansi.

Okubalulekile ukuthi, bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane badinga ukuqonda nokwazisa imizimba yomunye nomunye kanye nokuvula amathuba. Lokhu kungaholela ekuhlangenwe nakho kocansi okwanelisayo nokujabulisayo kubo bobabili abathintekayo.

5. Ukulingisa kanye nemicabango ku-foreplay yocansi

Ukulingisa nokulingisa amaphupho ethu kungangeza izinga elisha lokujabula ekudlalweni kwangaphambili ngokusivumela ukuthi sihlole izinhlangothi ezehlukene zethu kanye nozakwethu. Isibonelo, omunye umbhangqwana engangisebenza nawo udlala indima ethile njengodokotela nesiguli, okwabasiza ukuba bahlole izifiso zabo ngendlela ephephile nangemvumelwano. Kulethe izinga elisha lokusondelana kanye nokuxhumana kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kwezocansi futhi kwabasiza ukuba banqobe izithiyo zocansi.

Ukwenza amaphupho ethu kungakhulula futhi kusenze sizizwe siqiniseka ngokwengeziwe futhi sikhululeke kakhudlwana. Isibonelo, iklayenti elilodwa likwazile ukuhlola i-kink yalo ye-BDSM ngokudlala indima ethile nophathina walo, okwamsiza ukuba azizwe ekhululekile ukuxoxa ngayo empilweni yangempela.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungakha ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo nomlingani wethu, njengoba omunye umbhangqwana engisebenze nawo wathola ngokulingisa iphupho labo lokuba sesiqhingini esingenalutho. Kuyindlela enhle yokuhlola izinhlangothi ezahlukene zethu kanye nabalingani bethu, sidlule imingcele yethu, futhi sizame izinto ezintsha.

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6. Letha isici "sokumangala".

Isici sokumangala singangeza izinga elisha lenjabulo ekuziphatheni kwangaphambili. Singeza ngezindlela eziningi, kusukela ekuthinteni okungalindelekile kuya ezimweni ezintsha zocansi noma amathoyizi. Lokhu kungabikezeleki kungandisa ukulindela futhi kuholele ekufikeni kobulili okuqinile kanye nokuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabalingani.

Ukuze uphume esimisweni futhi wengeze okuzenzakalelayo, zama ukuqalisa ukudlala egumbini elihlukile noma ngaphandle kwendlu. Yethula ithoyizi elisha noma i-prop ukwengeza ungqimba olusha lwesasasa nobumnandi. Ukulingisa, izingubo zokugqoka, noma izingubo kungaba yindlela ejabulisayo yokuhlola amaphupho nezifiso ezahlukene.

Isici sokumangala singaphinda sisetshenziselwe ukuhlola izinhlobo ezahlukene zokuthintwa, njengokuthinta usiba olula noma ukudlala nomuzwa ojulile. Khumbula ukuba nomqondo ovulekile kanye nokuxhumana, futhi ujabule ngokuzama imibono emisha ukuze uthuthukise impilo yakho yangasese.

Kuthatha okubili (phambili) ukudlala

Uma kukhulunywa nge-foreplay, bobabili abalingani kudingeka baqonde ukuthi babelana ngomthwalo wemfanelo wokuqinisekisa ukuthi kuhle. Akufanele kube umsebenzi noma umthwalo womlingani oyedwa kuphela. Abesifazane akufanele bangabaze ukuhola ekamelweni lokulala . Ikhono lowesifazane lokuqala nokuphatha lingasiza ekwakheni uxhumano olujulile ngokomzwelo kanye nokusondelana okuholela ekuhlangenwe nakho kocansi okwanelisayo nokujabulisayo. Ngakho-ke ungazigodli ekuhlanganyeleni ngenkuthalo!

Sengiphetha, angikwazi ukugcizelela ngokwanele ukubaluleka kokudlala ngaphambi kokuba ube nempilo yocansi eyanelisayo. Zama amasu ahlukene, khuluma ngezidingo zakho nezifiso zakho futhi ugweme la maphutha avamile. Uma unenkinga, ungangabazi ukuxhumana nami ukuze uthole isibopho sokusondelana ngokocansi phakathi kwemibhangqwana. Njengomqeqeshi wocansi, ngisiza amakhasimende ami ukuthi alungise amaphethini, amabhlogo, kanye nokuziphatha kwangaphambilini, okubavimbela ekutholeni ukwaneliseka ngokocansi. Zizwe ukhululekile ukuxhumana nami ukuze uthole ucingo lokuqala lokuhlola lwamahhala. Ngingakusiza ufunde ukuthi ungaba kanjani nocansi olumangalisayo olufanele.

Isixwayiso: Le sayithi iqukethe izixhumanisi zomkhiqizo ezihambisanayo. Singathola ikhomishini uma uthenga ngemva kokuchofoza kwenye yalezi zixhumanisi.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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