Izizathu Ezi-3 Eziphezulu Ezenza Umbhangqwana Ulwe Ngezinto Ezifanayo

“Kunjengokungathi sibambeke obishini,” kusho umngane wami. Yena nomyeni wakhe baba nempi efanayo okwesikhombisa ngenyanga, futhi kwakubonakala sengathi uhlakaniphile. Isipiliyoni sangaphambilini sangifundisa ukuthi ngingazami ukudlala ummeli kasathane ngakho ngivele ngimyeke akhulume. Lapho umbhangqwana uxabana njalo ngento eyodwa, ngokuvamile ibhekisela ezinkingeni ezingakaxazululeki. Futhi ngangingafuni ukunyakazisa isidleke sikamajuba.

Yena nomyeni wakhe bebelokhu belwa ngokuthambekela kwakhe kokufika sekwephuzile kusukela kudala.

Nakuba ayemthanda, kwakunzima kuye ukumlinda zonke izinsuku. Wazonda lapho efika sekuhlwile ngenxa yakhe futhi kwakubonakala sengathi babhekene nenkinga ngempela. Kwangiphatha kabi nokho. Kungani belokhu bebanga into eyodwa isikhathi eside kangaka? Ingabe ukulwa nomuntu oshade naye ngaso sonke isikhathi kungaba nempilo? Izinkinga zabo zazingekho eduze nokuxazululwa ngakho-ke ngathatha isibopho sami ukuthola ukuthi kuyinto evamile yini ukuthi imibhangqwana ilwe nokuthi kungani lo mkhuba uqhubeka.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Ukulwa Kubaluleke Kakhulu Kunobudlelwano?

Kungani Umbhangqwana Ulwa Ngezinto Ezifanayo?

Ucwaningo lwami lwangisiza ukuba ngikuqonde lokho imibhangqwana iyalwa phezu kwezinto ezincane ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi akuvamile ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele ukuthi abalingani ababili baqhubeke beqoqa izindaba ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe. Kufana nokuthi impi ivuselelwa kabusha kodwa inkinga ayixazululeki. Imbangela yalezi zimpi eziphindaphindwayo ingalandelelwa ngenxa yezizathu ezintathu ezilandelayo:

1. Ukulwa kwemibhangqwana kungase kubangelwe izinkinga

Lapho umbhangqwana ulwa ngezinto ezindala ezifanayo - ithawula elimanzi elilahlwe budedengu embhedeni, udoti ongakhishwanga, ungabonisi ngesikhathi, uchitha isikhathi esiningi ocingweni - kuvame ukuba nezinkinga eziwumsuka ekudlaleni. Umuntu wangaphandle angase azibuze ukuthi kungani imibhangqwana ingaxabene lutho kodwa akuzona lezi zinkinga ezincane abaxabana ngazo ngempela.

Kungenzeka ukuthi abantu ababili banesiqinisekiso izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe lokho kubenza bacasuke komunye nomunye ezingeni lokungazi lutho. Nakuba lezi zinkinga zingavunywa noma zingasingathwanga, izici zokuziphatha zomunye nomunye ziba yizisusa zokudedela intukuthelo evuthayo. Mhlawumbe, bazizwa bengahlonishwa, bengaziswa noma bengathandwa ebudlelwaneni. Noma umlingani wabo wenze okuthile esikhathini esidlule - ukukhohliswa, ukuqamba amanga, ukuqhelelana ngokomzwelo noma ukuthuka - ukubalimaza futhi leyo mizwa eyinsalela ihlala ingaxazululiwe.

2. Ukukhuliswa nakho kungaba necala

Abazali bethu basifundisa ukuzimela futhi kwakuyiseluleko esihle leso. Nokho, uma ungaboni ngaso sonke isikhathi unempilo ukuxazulula izingxabano ekhaya, kungokwemvelo ukufaka ngaphakathi ungaqondile ukuthambekela kokuvuselela izingxabano. Wabona izingxabano nemizwa ishanelwa ngaphansi kukakhaphethi.

Ubone abazali bakho bebhodla imizwelo bese beqhuma kungazelelwe, okungenangqondo. Futhi ucabange ukuthi izinkinga ebudlelwaneni zibhekwana nazo.

Sivame ukusebenzisa abazali bethu njengezifanekiso futhi asiwazi amaphutha ezindleleni zabo. Lapho imibhangqwana ihlale ixabana, lokho kungase kubonise indlela ekhuliswe ngayo. Bebenza konke abakwaziyo, kodwa ungenza kangcono. Ukungavimbi imizwa yakho nokuvumela ukuzazisa kubuse ukuxhumana kwakho nomlingani wakho kuyindawo enhle yokuqala.

3. Ukwehluka okungokwemvelo kwezindinganiso nakho kungabangela ukulwa kwabashadile

Kunzima ukukhomba into yokuqala imibhangqwana elwa ngayo kodwa esinye sezizathu eziphezulu zokungezwani phakathi kozakwethu umehluko wezinhlelo zenani. Lokhu kwehluka okungokwemvelo kulawula umbono wakho ngempilo, futhi uma wena nomlingani wakho ninemibono eyahlukene ngezinkolelo ezithile eziyinhloko, nakanjani kuholela ekulweni nomngane womshado ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Izinkolelo zenkolo, imibono yezepolitiki, imibono ngemali, umqondo womndeni, isimo sengqondo kanye nezindlela zokuba khona ngezinye zezinkolelo eziyisisekelo ezingaba yizisusa zokuxabana kombhangqwana ngenxa yezindaba noma izinkinga ezifanayo. Isibonelo, uma ungakholwa futhi umlingani wakho eyiyo, yonke imikhosi noma imicimbi yezenkolo ingaba indaba ephikisanayo. Ake sithi, ufuna ukudlala amakhadi futhi uphuze nomngane wakho ku-Diwali kodwa umlingani wakho wenkolo angathanda ukwenza pooja, baphekele umndeni ukudla bahlale ekhaya. Ngakho-ke, ngokwemvelo, uzoqhubeka nokulwa ngalokhu unyaka nonyaka.

Kungakho kubalulekile ukuhlola ukuthi ingabe wena kanye nabanye ababalulekile nihlanganyela izinkolelo ezifanayo ngaphambi kokungena ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, obuzibophezele.

Uma uvumela lezi zinkinga ezincane zishelele ekuqaleni kobudlelwane benu, akulungile ukulindela ukuthi zishintshe manje. Ukuphoqana ukwenza izinto abangazithandi akusebenzi uma usuphakathi isikhathi eside. Ukuhlonipha okunempilo kwalokhu kuhluka kungakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nezinkinga ezivelayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Zokuxhuma kabusha Ngemva Kwempi Enkulu

Izindlela Ezi-5 Zokunqamula Umjikelezo Wezimpi Zababhangqwana Ngezindaba Ezifanayo

Ukuba nempi efanayo, ngokuphindaphindiwe, kungase kukhathale. Ungase ugcine usuzizwa njengomlingani wakho futhi ukhuluma izilimi ezimbili ezahlukene. Ngempi ngayinye, ukukhungatheka kokungakwazi ukudlula komunye nomunye kuyakhula futhi kanjalo nentukuthelo yakho kanye ukucasuka. Nokho, akubona bonke abalahlekayo ngisho nalapho imibhangqwana ihlale ixabana. Ungakwazi ukunqamula umjikelezo wokulwa ngezinkinga ezifanayo bese ubuyela emuva kule ndawo ebonakala ingenathemba ebuhlotsheni bakho. Nazi izindlela ezi-5 zokukwenza:

1. Thola izimbangela

Thola izinto ezibangela izingxabano nokulwa. Uma ubona lokho kucupha ngokuzayo, esikhundleni sokuyaluza, ziqhelelene nakho. Zinike isikhathi sokuphola, ubambe noma yikuphi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho kuze kube yileso sikhathi. Uma leso sikhathi sesidlulile, zama ukungaphinde uveze udaba.

2. Iphathe imizwa yakho

Lapho abashadile bexabana njalo, ukugxeka iba yindikimba engaguquki phakathi kwabo. Kalula nje ngoba kulula ukugxeka futhi usole umlingani wakho kunokwamukela futhi uvumelane nemizwa yakho. Kodwa-ke, ngokwenza lokho ungashintsha ngokuphelele amandla e-equation yakho futhi ubambe impi engaba khona kuhlumela. Ngakho-ke, ngesikhathi esilandelayo, esikhundleni sokuthi utshele umlingani wakho lokho akwenzile okungalungile, zama ukugxila endleleni izenzo zakhe ezikwenza uzizwe ngayo.

3. Zama ukulalela

Ukungabikho ukuxhumana kweqiniso kungase futhi kube isizathu esivamile sokulwa kombhangqwana kanye nokungakwazi ukugqashula emjikelezweni wokuba nezingxabano ezifanayo kaningi. Ukuzijwayeza ukukhulumisana kweqiniso kusho ukulalela lokho omunye umuntu akushoyo nokuqonda isimo ngombono wakhe. Ngakho-ke, nikeza lelo thuba lokuxazulula lokhu kugoqa okubonakala sengathi ubambeke kukho.

4. Bhekana nezindaba zangempela

Uma ulwa ngezinto ezifanayo ku-loop, ngokuvamile kunezinkinga eziyisisekelo ezidlalwayo. Zibheke njengesifo esikhungethe ubudlelwano benu ekubeni lezi zimpi ziyizimpawu nje. Ukuze uphulukise, kufanele ugxile ekukhipheni isifo, hhayi izimpawu. Ngakho-ke, yeka ukuxubha umuzwa wakho ngaphansi kukakhaphethi futhi uziqinise ukuze ubhekane nezinkinga zangempela ebuhlotsheni bakho.

5. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Uma ungakwazi ukuzenzela umathanda, ungangabazi ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe. Ukwelashwa kwezithandani noma iseshini yokwelulekwa ingasebenza njengezisusa ezisebenzayo ekusizeni ubhekane nezinkinga zakho. Ukwelulekwa kwabashadile kuyindlela ethengekayo yokugcina ubudlelwano bakho kanye singasiza wena phambili.

Ukulwa ngezindaba ezifanayo kungaba yinto enzima kakhulu engase iphazamise ubudlelwano benu. Kodwa isimo singasatshalaliswa. Okudingekayo nje wukuthola phansi ukuthi kungani umbhangqwana ulwa bese usebenzisa indlela yakho yokuphuma kulawa maphethini.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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