Izinkinga zobudlelwane bebanga elide zivame ukuba yisithiyo othandweni. Umqondo wokwakha ubuhlobo obuseduze, obunenjongo-noma ngisho nokusekela ubudlelwano bothando obukhona-nomuntu ongasondelene ngokomzimba ubonakala unzima, ukusho okungenani. Ngokwengxenye, ubandlululo lomphakathi luphinde lubhebhethekise umqondo wokuthi ubudlelwano bebanga elide abunakwenzeka.
Uma ukhuluma ngokuba sebudlelwaneni bebanga elide kunoma yisiphi isimo somphakathi, kuheha ukusabela okuningi okuzwelayo ngoba abantu bacabanga ukuthi unesikhathi esinzima ngempela. Futhi azikho ngokuphelele ezisekelweni. Phela imizabalazo yobudlelwano bebanga elide ingokoqobo. Sesikushilo lokho, akusho ukuthi ubudlelwano benu buzobhuntsha noma ukuthi ibanga liyohlala lizoba nemiphumela emibi. Wena nozakwenu ningahamba ngomkhumbi ngokufunda indlela yokubhekana nezinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide ngendlela efanele.
Izinkinga Ezikude Eziyi-18 Okufanele Uzazi Ngazo
Okuqukethwe
Izinkinga zobudlelwano obude zingakushiya uzizwa ukhungathekile futhi ukhungathekile. Ngokungafani nobudlelwano obuvamile, awukwazi ukwenza ingxabano iphele ngokumanga noma ukuthola induduzo ekubambeni kwe-SO yakho ekupheleni kosuku olude nolukhathazayo. Ibanga liyandisa izinkinga ezikhona, lizenze zibonakale zimbi kakhulu kunalokho eziyikho. Yingakho kubalulekile ukufunda indlela efanele yokuvimbela ukulangazelela kwakho nokulangazelela umlingani wakho ukuthi kungalimaza impilo yakho engokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano bakho. Isici esibaluleke kakhulu sokubhekana nezinselele zobudlelwano obude ukuba nokholo lokuthi uthando lwakho luqinile.
Uma usunalokho kuqiniseka, ukwenza lowo mzamo owengeziwe ekunqobeni izithiyo nokugcina isibopho sakho siqinile kuba lula kakhulu. Uhlelo olulandelayo lwebhizinisi wukuba nendlela enobuhlakani yokuxazulula izinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide. Ihlanganisani leyo ndlela yokungacunuli? Sikwehlukanisa ngalokhu kwehla kwezinkinga eziyi-18 ezijwayelekile ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide kanye nendlela efanele yokubhekana nazo:
1. Ukuzama ukuxhumana ngaso sonke isikhathi
Yebo! Nakuba kungase kuzwakale kuphambene nokuzwa, ukuxhumana ngokweqile kuyinkinga evamile ye-LDR engasongela ubuhlobo benu. Nakuba kudingeka ukuxhumana okunempilo, akufanele unamathele ocingweni lwakho usuku lonke. Ukwenza kanjalo kungaba uphawu lokuthi usebudlelwaneni obunamathele, futhi lokho akukuhle nganoma iyiphi indlela.
Ukulangazelela okungaguquki kungenye yamaqiniso aqinile obudlelwano bebanga elide, futhi kufanele ukwamukele ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubeka ngaphandle kokuthi kube nomthelela omubi ebudlelwaneni bakho noma empilweni yakho. Thola ibhalansi phakathi kokuhlala uxhumene ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide nokuba nempilo. Kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awudeli ezinye izici zempilo yakho ukuze usimamise ubudlelwano bakho.
2. Ibanga elingokomzimba lingavusa umona
Enye yezinselelo ezivamile zobudlelwano bebanga elide ukuthi ibanga elingokomzimba lingakwenza uzizwe ungavikelekile futhi livuse imizwa yomona. Isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho enomngane omusha ahlala naye kakhulu, ungase uqale ukukhathazeka ngokuthi ingabe ubamba imizwa ngalo muntu. Umona owumphumela ungase ubangele ukuxabana njalo, izingxabano, nokulwa, okunganezela ebuhlotsheni benu.
Umona ebudlelwaneni uvame ukuletha izinselelo zawo ezihlukile, ikakhulukazi uma wena nomlingani wakho ningekho ndawonye ngokomzimba ukuze ninciphise ukungazethembi komunye nomunye. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokulwa nawo ukubeka phambili ukwethembeka nokungafihli lutho ebudlelwaneni ngenkathi futhi ninikezana isikhala esanele. Kungabonakala sengathi kuyibhalansi enzima ukuyifinyelela, kodwa yindlela kuphela yokugcina lesi silo esinamehlo aluhlaza somona singangeni kuleso simo.
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3. Ukukhathazeka ngekusasa
Enye yezinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide ezifana nenhlekelele ukungaqiniseki ngekusasa. Kungase kubangele ukukhathazeka ukuhlela ikusasa lapho uhlala edolobheni elihlukile kunomlingani wakho. Nakuba kufanele ucabange ngakho, ungachithi umzuzwana ngamunye ugcizelela ngakho.
Ukucabanga ngethemba lomshado nokuvumelanisa imisebenzi yakho noma ukukhetha idolobha ozohlala kulo kudinga izingxoxo ezinde nezinqumo ezinzima. Lokhu kungase kukwenze uhlale uhlola ukuthi kufanele ngabe uthatha kuphi futhi kanjani izinto, ususa inani lamanje. Ungakwazi ukumelana nenqwaba yezinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide ngokuthatha nje izinto isinyathelo esisodwa ngesikhathi, futhi ungacabangi kakhulu ngekusasa.
4. Isizungu siphakathi kwezinkinga eziphezulu zobudlelwano bebanga elide
Ungase ungacabangi kakhulu ngokuqala ubudlelwano obude noma ukuvuma ukwenza ibanga elide nomlingani wakho wamanje ngoba uqiniseka ukuthi imizwa yakho inamandla ngokwanele ukudlula noma yiliphi ibanga kodwa izinto zingashintsha ngokushesha lapho isizungu singena. Inkinga ye-LDR ephindaphindayo ukuthi uzizwa sengathi uwedwa ngisho noma unomlingani.
Ibanga lingenza kube nzima ukuzizwa uphephile futhi uzungezwe uthando. Lokhu kungase kukwenze uzizwe sengathi usebudlelwaneni obuhlulekile. Ungalungisa le nkinga ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi wena nomngane wakho womshado nichitha isikhathi esihle ndawonye nsuku zonke. Akudingekile ukuthi uhlale uxhumekile kodwa unikeze isikhathi esithile ohlelweni lwakho usuku ngalunye ukuze uxhumane ngempela futhi ugxile komunye nomunye.
5. Ningakhula ngokwehlukana futhi ningavumelani
Nakuba nindawonye, nisenesikhathi esiningi sokugxila kwezinye izinto empilweni yenu. Abangane, umndeni, umsebenzi, kanye nezinto zokuzilibazisa kungathatha amandla akho kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano. Uma ugxila kakhulu kulokho, ubudlelwano bakho bungase buthathe indawo engemuva.
Njengoba ukhula njengomuntu, ungase ungakwazi ukuqapha ukukhula kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho komlingani wakho. Ungase uthambekele ngokwemvelo ekubeni ngumuntu siqu futhi uyeke ukugxila ezinqumweni ozenzayo kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kungakushiya ubhekene nenkinga, “Ngisebudlelwaneni obude, ngizizwa nginqanyuliwe kumlingani wami. Kufanele ngenzeni?” Ukuzama ukwabelana ngolwazi olusha, kanye nokuzama imisebenzi emisha yobudlelwano obude kungakusiza ukuthi uhlangane futhi uhlale uxhumene.
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6. Ukungakhulumisani kahle kungabhebhethekisa izinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide
Isikhathi sokuthumela imiyalezo ngokuqinisekile senze ukuxhumana kwaba lula kakhulu kodwa futhi kube yimbangela yezingxabano eziningi nokungaqondani. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo kwakhelwe phezu kwezinsika zomongo, ithoni, kanye nezinkulumo, okungekho noyedwa kuzo ongadluliselwa ngempumelelo emilayezweni yombhalo.
Wena noma umlingani wakho ningakwazi ukutolika amagama omunye komunye, okuholela ekudidekeni nasekukhathazekeni. Lapho kucindezelwa, lokhu kungezwani kunganqwabelana futhi kubangele izinkinga ezinkulu. Ukuze ugweme izinkinga ezinjalo zobudlelwane bebanga elide, qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma nomlingani wakho uma okuthile akushilo kukuphathe kabi. Ngokufanayo, uma bezizwa bephonswe okuthile okushilo, lalela ngomqondo ovulekile futhi uchaze uhlangothi lwakho ngomoya ophansi.
7. Ukuntuleka kokusondelana ngokomzimba kungenza ukusekela i-LDR kube nzima
Ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide, ungase uzithole ulangazelela ukuzwa ukuthintwa umlingani wakho kanye nezikhathi zokusondelana. Lesi yimbangela evamile yokukopela ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide. Kodwa akudingeki wehle kulowo mthambeko oshelelayo ukuze izidingo zakho zihlangatshezwe.
Kunalokho, ungasebenzisa ubuchwepheshe ukuze uzizwe uxhumene kakhulu nomlingani wakho, futhi uhlangabezane nesidingo sakho sokusondelana. Kunezinhlelo zokusebenza eziningi zemibhangqwana eqhelelene ezingakusiza ukuthi uxhumane ngokomzimba nangokocansi, yize kunjalo. Kungase kungafani nokuba nomlingani wakho eduze kwakho, kodwa kuyinto elandelayo engcono kakhulu.
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8. Imizwa yokungazethembi ingatshala imbewu yokungabaza
Enye yezinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide kufanele kususwe ukungazethembi okuqhubekayo. Ngisho noma umlingani wakho ekuthanda kakhulu, kungase kungenzeki ukuthi abe khona kuwe ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho umdinga. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ibanga namafasitela anomkhawulo wokuhlangana angenza kube nzima kuwe ukwabelana ngayo yonke imininingwane yosuku lwakho nomunye.
Isibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi uye ukuyothola u-ayisikhilimu nomngane umlingani wakho ongavikelekile kancane ngaye kodwa ugwema ukuyiveza ngenkathi ukhuluma ne-SO yakho ngoba ibonakala iyinto encane futhi ufuna ukusebenzisa isikhathi esincane onaso ndawonye ugxile ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kodwa-ke, umlingani wakho ubona indaba yokuphuma kuka-ayisikhilimu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, bese ezibuza, “Kungani engangitshelanga ngakho?”
Kanjalo nje, into engenabungozi njengokudla i-ayisikhilimu ingadala izinkinga zobudlelwano obude. Uma imbewu yokungabaza isitshaliwe, kungaba nzima ukunqoba imizwa yokungazethembi . Kungakwenza uzizwe ungelutho futhi uphelelwe yithemba. Isixazululo, futhi, ukwenza umzamo oqondile wokungavumeli ukungabaza kukhule futhi ube qotho futhi ucace ngangokunokwenzeka.
9. Isikhala singaba igama elibi
Uma senivele nihlukene ngokomzimba, isidingo sesikhala singaba umthombo wengxabano ebudlelwaneni. Kungavusa ukungazethembi futhi kumenze umuntu akhathazeke uma umlingani wakhe elahlekelwa yisithakazelo ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, isikhala ebudlelwaneni akuyona into embi ngempela. Uma umthanda umlingani wakho, kufanele uqonde isidingo sakhe sesikhala nesidingo sakhe sokuba yibo. Ukudinga isikhathi sakhe njalo nokunakwa kungaholela ezingxabanweni futhi kumcindezele ngokomzwelo. Dala isikhala sokubavumela, kanye nawe, ukuthi baphefumule. Ubuhlobo bakho ngokungangabazeki buyingxenye ebalulekile yempilo yakho kodwa akuyona—futhi akufanele kube—impilo yakho yonke.
10. Ukungakwazi ukwabelana ngezibopho
Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu kakhulu zobudlelwano bebanga elide kungaba ukuzama ukuhlanganisa izindima nezibopho eziningi ezahlukene ngaphandle komlingani wakho eceleni kwakho. Kusukela ekwenzeni imisebenzi ethile kuye ekwenzeni imisebenzi yasekhaya, ukwenza kahle emsebenzini wakho, kanye nokufeza izibopho zomphakathi, kungase kube kuningi kakhulu uma omunye wakho obalulekile engekho ukuze abelane ngomthwalo. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukukhungatheka kwakho konke kungase kuqondiswe kabusha ngokungafanele kumlingani wakho nasebudlelwaneni bakho, kubangele izingxabano nokulwa okungadingekile. Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokubhekana nalolu daba ukuthola usizo kubantu abaseduze kwakho, futhi ungamcasuli umlingani wakho “ngokukushiya wedwa”.
11. I-LDR ingaba nomthelela omubi empilweni yakho yengqondo
Enye yezinselelo eziphathelene nobudlelwano bebanga elide ukuthi zonke lezo zinkinga ezibambekayo, ezihlanganiswe ibanga futhi zihlale zimkhumbula umlingani wakho, zingaqala ukuba nomthelela empilweni yakho yengqondo. Ngenxa yalokho, ungase uzithole uhlezi ukhathazekile, ucindezelekile, noma ucindezelekile.
Esimweni esinjalo, kufanele ukhulume nomlingani wakho futhi umtshele ukuthi ubhekene nani. Ndawonye, kudingeka nithathe isinqumo mayelana nokuthi ningaphatha kanjani ubudlelwano benu kangcono noma mhlawumbe nithathe ikhefu ukuze nigxile ekwelapheni. Kubalulekile futhi ukuthi nifune usizo olufika ngesikhathi kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ukuze nixazulule lezi zinkinga. Uma ucabanga ukuthola usizo kodwa ungazi ukuthi ungalutholaphi, abeluleki abanekhono nabanolwazi kuphaneli yeBonobology balapha ukuze bakusize.
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12. Ukuzizwa ukude ngokomzwelo kungakuhlukanisa
Inkinga ye-LDR iningi lemibhangqwana okufanele ibhekane nayo ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo okubuthakathaka . "Ngisebudlelwaneni obude, ngizizwa nginqanyuliwe nomlingani wami. Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi ubuhlobo bami sebuphelile?" Uma imicabango efana nale iqala ukukuzungeza noma uma uzizwa ungavumelani nomlingani wakho noma ungazizwa udonseleka kuyo njengoba wawuke wenza, kungaba uphawu olwesabekayo lokuthi ubuhlobo bakho busenkingeni.
Manje, lokho akusho ukuthi sekusele indawo yokwenza ubudlelwano busebenze. Kodwa-ke, ukuvuselela ukuxhumana okunciphayo ku-LDR kudinga umzamo omkhulu kubo bobabili ozakwethu. Ingabe ukulungele? Lowo ngumbuzo wena nomlingani wakho okufanele niwuphendule ngokwethembeka.
13. Ukusebenzelana nomlingani onobunikazi kungase kube nzima kakhulu
Umlingani wakho angase abe nolaka kakhulu ebudlelwaneni obude kunanoma nini lapho nindawonye. Akunzima ukubona ukuthi kungani. Elinye lamaqiniso abuhlungu ngobudlelwano obude ukuthi ukungahlali ndawonye ngokomzimba kungenza ngisho nomuntu onengqondo elinganiselayo abe novalo. Kulula ukwesaba ukuthi umlingani wakho ukuphi kanye nemisebenzi yakhe uma ekude kakhulu nawe.
Uma umlingani wakho enovalo lwangaphakathi ngaso sonke isikhathi, lokho kuzophumela ekuziphatheni kokuphatha nokuminyanisa. Kungase kube yisigaba kuphela kodwa kungaba nzima ukudlula. Ukubheja kwakho okuhle kakhulu esimweni esinjalo ukwenza konke ongakwenza ukuze ubaqinisekise, kodwa umthwalo wokubambelela kule micabango emibi ukubo ngempela.
14. Ungazizwa sengathi awusamazi umuntu wakho
Uma ungekho kumlingani wakho, ungase ungakwazi ukubona zonke izinguquko abhekana nazo. Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho wayenomoya omuhle futhi uma ubabona ngokulandelayo, uthola ukuthi sebeyeke ngokuphelele ushukela. Noma mhlawumbe sebeqalile ukujabulela ukuhamba ngezinyawo. Noma ukunambitheka kwabo komculo kushintshile. Nakuba lezi zinguquko kungenzeka zenzeke ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, zingase zibonakale ngokuzumayo futhi zinkulu kuwe, zikushiye uzizwa ungaxhumekile ebudlelwaneni obude.
Ungase uzizwe sengathi awusabazi noma ngokuphambene nalokho. Nakuba izinguquko zingase zibe mnene, zingabonakala zisabisa. Isixazululo esilula kule nkinga ebonakala iyinkimbinkimbi yobudlelwano bebanga elide ukuthi sihlale sinolwazi mayelana nezinqumo ezinkulu nezincane. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama ukudla kwe-Keto noma uyayeka umsebenzi wakho, hlala ukhuluma nomlingani wakho ngaphambi kokwenza isinqumo.
15. Ukwenza isikhathi sokuhamba noma ukushoda kwaso
Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obude kusho ukuthi kufanele ulungele ukuhamba nomlingani wakho nokubona umlingani wakho. Kusukela ekugibeleni izindiza ngezimpelasonto zamahhala noma ekuhleleni amaholide amade kakhulu, uzobona isikhumulo sezindiza kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, kungaba yinselele ukuthola isikhathi noma imali yokuhamba njalo. Ungase ungakwazi ukudela isidlo sakusihlwa somndeni sangoMgqibelo ukuze undize uyobona i-SO yakho. Ukuphatha umsebenzi wakho nempilo yakho ngokuhamba kungaba yinselele enkulu. Kodwa ngokuhlela okuhlakaniphile, ungaphumelela.
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16. Ukuxhuma kabusha kungase kwehluke
Ngaso sonke isikhathi, ukuhleleka phakathi kokuhlukana nokuba ndawonye kungaba enye yezinselele ezingalindelekile zobudlelwano bebanga elide. Ngemuva kwalezo zinsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala noma amahora othando olushisayo nocansi olushisayo, olushisayo, ungase uzizwe ungavumelanisi nomlingani wakho. Ukungena nokuphuma endaweni yomuntu ngokuphindaphindiwe kungazala imizwa eminingi exubile yokujabula, ukudabuka, ukwesaba, nokungazethembi. Akekho umuntu ongajabula ngelinye ilanga aphinde abuyele ekubeni yikho uma senihlukene futhi. Ngeshwa, akukho okuningi okungenziwa mayelana naleli qiniso elibuhlungu lama-LDR. Kufanele nje uqinise futhi ukubone.
17. Isikhathi siyohlala siyindlala
Ukuzizwa sengathi awukaze ube nesikhathi esanele nomlingani wakho kuyinkinga eqhubekayo ye-LDR. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingxoxo yocingo yekhefu lekhofi noma uhambo lwezinsuku ezintathu lokuyobona i-SO yakho, iwashi lingase lihlale lishaya engqondweni yakho. Lokhu kungenza umuntu azizwe ekhathazekile futhi ekhathazekile ngaso sonke isikhathi, kuvimbele ikhono lakho lokusebenzisa kahle isikhathi esihle enisichitha ndawonye ngoba ingxenye yenu yesaba ukuhlukana okuzayo okuzonishiya nodwa futhi. Isithembiso kanye nohlelo lokuhlangana futhi kungasiza ekunciphiseni okunye kwalokhu kukhathazeka kanye nalowo muzwa ocwilayo emgodini wesisu sakho, uma kungenjalo ukukuqeda ngokuphelele.
18. Ukuba phakathi kwezinye izithandani kungakwenza ulangazelele iSO yakho
Ukubuka abanye abashadile bephila impilo yabo kungakwenza uzizwe unomona ngendlela engalungile kubo. Ukubabheka kungakwenza ufune okwengeziwe ebuhlotsheni bakho okungaholela ekulindelweni okungenakwenzeka . Akunakwenzeka nanini, omunye umbhangqwana asetshenziswe njengesilinganiso sokulinganisa impumelelo yobudlelwano bomuntu. Awazi ukuthi ziyini izinkinga nezinselele zabo, futhi kungcono ukungaweli ogibeni lokuqhathanisa.
imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa
Ngokukhuluma izinto, ukuveza imizwa yakho, ukwethembeka, nokuzimisela ukulalela omunye umuntu. Kumele uhlale uzifaka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu uma ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwano bebanga elide busebenze.
Ingxenye enzima kakhulu ukungabi khona ngokomzimba komlingani wakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhathazeka okuningi futhi kuza ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide kusuka ekukhathazekeni ngomlingani wakho nokumkhumbula.
Ungase uzizwe unesizungu kaningi futhi ungabaze ubudlelwano bakho. Kuzodingeka futhi ukwazi ubuciko bokuphatha isikhathi. Uzomkhumbula umlingani wakho kaningi futhi uze ube nesikhwele nokungabaza.
Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi imibhangqwana eminingi ayikwazi ukuvumelanisa izinhloso zayo zokuphela komunye nomunye. Kubalulekile ukuzijwayeza ukuxhumana okunempilo, ukuxazulula izingxabano nokusungula ukwethembana.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ubudlelwano bebanga elide bufika nengxenye yabo yobunzima nezinselele
- Isizungu, ukungazethembi, izindaba zokuthembana, kanye nokuxhumana okufiphalayo ngokomzwelo ngezinye zezinkinga ezivamile zobudlelwano bebanga elide.
- Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngisho nezinkinga ezijwayelekile zobudlelwano ezifana nokuntuleka kokuxhumana, ukuxazululwa kwezingxabano, ukubeka okulindelekile, kanye nesikhala sokuxoxisana kungaba nzima uma ibanga liphonswa phakathi kwenhlanganisela.
- Ukuxhumana okuthembekile nokuvulekile, ukubeka izinto obala, nomzamo ongaguquki kungakusiza ukuthi udlule kulezi zinkinga ze-LDR futhi ugcine uxhumano lwakho luqinile naphezu kwebanga.
Imicabango Final
Izinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide zingabonakala zixakile futhi zikhungathekisa ekuqaleni. Kodwa ndawonye, wena nophathina wakho ningathola indlela enibazungezile. Ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nokwethembeka, kuhlanganiswe nenani elikhulu lozwelo nokuqonda, yikho okudingekayo ukuze ungavumeli izinkinga obhekane nazo ebudlelwaneni obude zikuhlukanise.
Ama-hacks othando angu-7 ahlolwe ukwenza ubudlelwano bakho bebanga elide busebenze
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
