I-Comanionship Vs Relationship – I-10 Basic Differences

Izwe esiphila kulo alipheli, kodwa liba nesizungu ngezikhathi ezithile. Kungakho sidinga umuntu ovele asibambe ngesandla ngezikhathi ezinzima. Hlobo luni lothando olufunayo? Ubungane vs ubudlelwane vs ukusondelana ngokocansi? Uma udidekile mayelana nohlobo lokuxhumana olufunayo, khona-ke lokhu ukufunda okuhle kakhulu kuwe.

Sixhumane nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJayant Sundaresan ukuze sithole okwengeziwe mayelana nobungani vs ubudlelwano. Uthi, “Kudingeka uqonde iTheory kaSternberg ethi Triangular of Love uma ufuna ukwazi umehluko phakathi kobungani, ubudlelwano, nezinye izinhlobo zothando.” Ngokwale thiyori, kunezingxenye ezintathu ezinkulu othandweni:

• Ukusondelana: Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo abantu ababili ababelana ngakho okuqinisa isibopho futhi kubahlanganise ndawonye 
• Isifiso: Ukukhangwa ngokomzimba nokusondelana ngokocansi nozakwethu 
• Ukuzibophezela: Ukuvuma ukuthi usothandweni futhi ufuna ukuzibophezela ebuhlotsheni 

Kunezinhlobo eziyisi-7 zothando ezizalwa ngalezi zingxenye:

• Ubungane
• Ukuthatheka
• Uthando Olungenalutho
• Uthando Lothando
• Uthando Oluhambisanayo
• Uthando Olungaka
• Luphelelise Uthando 

Lo mbono uwenza abe lula kakhulu imiqondo efana nothando nobudlelwano, kodwa kwabanye, ungasetha isisekelo salokho umuntu akubukayo ekuxhumekeni. 

Buyini Ubungane?

Futhi kusho ukuthini ubungane kowesifazane, noma kunoma ubani nhlobo? UJayant uthi, “Incazelo yobungane ivame ukubhekwa ngephutha njengobungane kuyilapho empeleni buyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunalokho.

"Bahlala bevumelana, izintshisekelo zabo zizofanelana, futhi kuzoba nohlobo lokusondelana nokujwayela okuzoba nzima ukukuthola kwenye indawo. Ubungane ngokuvamile bufika ngaphandle kwesici socansi futhi bujulile. Buhlala naphezu kobunzima futhi buletha induduzo nemfudumalo."

Ngokusho kwe -Triangular Theory of Love kaSternberg , uthando lomlingani lukhona lapho izingxenye zothando ezisondelene kanye nokuzibophezela zikhona ebudlelwaneni, kodwa ingxenye yenkanuko ayikho. Ubungani buwubungane obuhlala isikhathi eside, obuzibophezele, uhlobo oluvame ukwenzeka emishadweni lapho ukukhangana ngokomzimba (umthombo omkhulu wenkanuko) kuye kwaphela noma kwehla ijubane.

Lokhu kunamandla kunobungani ngenxa yesici sokuzinikela. Lolu hlobo lothando lubonakala kakhulu emishadweni yesikhathi eside lapho inkanuko yobulili ingadingeki nsuku zonke ukuze uhlale ndawonye ngokuvumelana ngoba uthando abantu ababili ababelana ngalo luqinile, futhi luhlala, naphezu kobude bomshado. Izibonelo zobungane zingabonakala kumalungu omndeni nakubangane abaseduze abanobungane obuqinile kodwa obuqinile. 

Buyini Ubudlelwano?

Ubudlelwano buyigama elibanzi njengoba kunezinhlobo ezahlukene zobudlelwano kusukela kobungcweti, bothando, bomndeni, kanye nobobulili. Namuhla, igama elithi 'ubudlelwano' lisetshenziswa kakhulu kuphela esimweni sothando. UJayant uthi, “Ubudlelwano bothando bungaba bucayi futhi bube yinto ekhululekile. Ifomethi evamile yobudlelwano bothando ihilela ukuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside noma esifushane (okusekelwe ekutheni nithandana ngokunganaki noma nithandana ngempela), okulindelwe ngomunye nomunye, inhlonipho, kanye nokusondelana ngokomzimba.”

I-Triangular Theory of Love ka-Sternberg ithi uthando lwezothando yilapho izingxenye zokusondelana nentshiseko zothando zikhona ebudlelwaneni, kodwa ingxenye yokuzibophezela ayikanqunywa. Lolu hlobo lothando lungabuye lucatshangwe 'njengokuthanda', nesici esingeziwe, okuwukuthi ukuvuswa kwenkanuko okulethwa ukukhangwa ngokomzimba kanye nokuhambisana nakho. Abantu ababili bangasondelana ngokomzwelo nangokocansi ngesidingo sokuzinikela noma ngaphandle kwaso.

Ubungane Vs Ubudlelwano — 10 Umehluko Omkhulu 

Sibuze uJayant: Ingabe ubungane buyafana nobudlelwano? Uthe, “Ubudlelwano phakathi kobudlelwano akuyona impikiswano evamile ngoba abantu bacabanga ukuthi kuyefana. Ubungane bungashintsha bube ubuhlobo uma wengeza isici socansi. Kodwa akubona bonke ubudlelwano obungaba ubungane ngoba lobu buhlobo buwuhlobo lothando oluvame ukubonakala phakathi kwabangane ababili abaseduze noma abantu abathandanayo asebehlale ndawonye isikhathi eside. Bukhula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.” 

Uma uphonsa isithako esithrendayo esithi 'abangane abanezinzuzo', kusewukuhambisana, akusesona esabantu abaningi. Ngezansi kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kobungani nobudlelwano.

1. Imizwa yothando/yocansi

U-Jayant uthi, "Engxoxweni yobungane nobudlelwano, imizwa yothando ayikho kweyokuqala futhi ikhona kweyakamuva. Naphezu kokungabikho kothando lwezothando, umngane angaba yinoma ubani, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubulili buni.

“Nakuba, awukwazi ukufuna ubuhlobo bothando kuyilapho ungabunaki ubulili obuthandayo, ngaphandle uma uthanda ubulili obujwayelekile. Ubungane ngokuvamile buyinto evamile, ngaphandle kokunye okuhlukile. Futhi ubuhlobo ngokuvamile bungokothando nobulili, nakuba ingxenye yobulili ingadingeki kwezinye izimo.”

Ngakho ingabe ubungane buyafana nobudlelwano? Kunzima ukuwachaza ngemingcele ecacile njengoba umsebenzi wawo nezithako zingadlulana noma ziguquke ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kodwa njengoba ukuqonda okuvamile kuhamba, azifani. Ubungane ngokuvamile buhlanganisa ukungabibikho kwemizwa yothando neyocansi kumlingani wakho. Ubungane obujulile lapho abantu ababili bexhumene ukuphila kwabo konke.

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2. Umngane angaba ilungu lomndeni wakho, umngane, noma isithandwa sakho 

Umngane angaba umuntu othandana naye. Nichitha isikhathi ndawonye futhi nijabulela ukuba khona komunye nomunye. Kukhona ukwethembana nokuhloniphana phakathi kwenu nobabili. Umngane angaba umuntu enihlala naye endlini, kodwa akufani nobuhlobo obuhlala ndawonye njengoba kungekho ukusondelana nothando. Kwezinye izimo, umngane wakho angaba ngisho yilungu lomndeni noma umngane enizwana naye kalula.

Ngabuza umngane wami uJoanna ukuthi iyiphi ayengayikhetha - ubungane noma ubuhlobo? Wathi, “Ngivame ukuqomisana ukuze ngibe nomngane noma ukuze nje ngijabule nothile. Uma ngithandana noma nginesifiso sokulala nabo, kuhle. Uma kungenjalo, khona-ke basahlala bengabangane bami, okuyinto enhle. Kodwa angingeneli ebuhlotsheni ngaphandle kokuchitha isikhathi esiningi nabantu njengabangane.”

3. Abangane banemibono efanayo, izinto abazithandayo, nezinto abazithandayo

U-Jayant uthi, “Kusho ukuthini ubungane kumuntu wesifazane, noma kunoma ubani? Kusho ukuthi bathola ukuba nomngane kukho konke abakuthandayo nabangakuthandi. Isikhathi esiningi, abangane banemibono efanayo yezwe, izithakazelo, nezinto abazilibazisayo abahlanganyela kuzo ngenkuthalo. Bachitha isikhathi benza izinto abazithandayo bobabili futhi yilokho okwenza lesi sibopho singangcolisiwe futhi sibe msulwa.”

Yilapho umbuzo othi 'ingabe ubungani bufana nobuhlobo?' uba obalulekile khona. Ebudlelwaneni, akudingeki ube nezinto ozithandayo noma izinto ozithandayo ezifanayo. Ungaba ngabantu abaphikisanayo futhi ukwenze kusebenze ngoba abantu abaphikisanayo bayakhanga . Ungajabulela ukuya emtatsheni wezincwadi bese ubhekabheka eshalofini lezincwadi nomngane wakho kuyilapho umlingani wakho engaya kodlala ibhola nabangani bakhe.

Isibonelo, noma ngabe umngane wakho nophathina wakho bobabili bathanda ukubuka amamuvi, 'uhlobo' lwamamuvi owathandayo aqondana nomngane wakho, hhayi umlingani wakho. Kungaba ingxoxo ejulile wena nozakwenu eniyishaya nodwa noma ukuthakasela okwabiwe ngamafomethi athile abonakalayo, abalingisi, noma abaqondisi. Kulesi sici, okuthandayo 'akudingeki' ukuthi kuhambisane ncamashi nobudlelwano bothando. Kodwa kuhlale kukuhle ukuchitha isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu ninobabili futhi nazi ukuthi umlingani wakho uthandani. 

4. Ubungane buhlala isikhathi eside

Ebudlelwaneni bothando, abalingani bahlukana ngezizathu eziningi. Bayakopela, bayakhohlisa, baqamba amanga, baphelelwe uthando, bazizwe benesithukuthezi, noma bevaleleke ebuhlotsheni okwenza izithandani ezimbili zihlukane. Kodwa ebudlelwaneni kukhona ukuqondana lapho noma uhlezi nabanye abantu, ungabi khona umona. 

UJayant uthi, “Ubungane buvame ukuhlala isikhathi eside, futhi ubudlelwano bungaphela ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukene. Kunezizathu eziningi zokuhlukana kwabantu abazenzayo ukuze baqede ubudlelwano. Ngisho noma uhlangana nomngane wakho ngemva kwesikhathi esithile nihlukene, nobabili nizoqalana ngokushesha. Kodwa akunjalo ngobudlelwano. Uma nithatha ikhefu lobuhlobo, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ekuqaleni uma nibuyelana.”

5. Abangane mancane amathuba okuthi bagcine sebeshadile

Abangane abavamile ukushada. Bangase bazitike emisebenzini yocansi uma bobabili abathintekayo bevumelana. Kodwa amathuba okuthi bazinze ndawonye mancane uma eqhathaniswa nabalingani. Abantu abasebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside noma imishado bavame ukwenza njengabangane, ngoba sebehlale ndawonye isikhathi eside. Baqondana kangcono ngenxa yobude bobudlelwano. 

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6. Abantu baphendukela ebunganeni ukuze baqede isizungu

Ubungane uma buqhathaniswa nobudlelwano – lena yingxoxo edinga ukuxoxwa kaningi ngoba incazelo yobungane ilahlekile endaweni ethile ezikhathini zanamuhla. Abantu manje bagxile kuphela ebudlelwaneni noma othandweni lwenganekwane, futhi ezothando eziyisivunguvungu zigqugquzelwa uthando hhayi okunye. Ubungane buqeda isizungu ngaphandle kokuhlanganyela emisebenzini yocansi. 

Abangane akudingeki babe sothandweni ukuze babe ndawonye. Bafuna umngane ngoba nje bazizwa bodwa futhi bekhululekile ngokuba khona komunye nomunye. Lapho ebuzwa ku-Reddit ukuthi kungani abanye abantu bekhetha ubungane, umsebenzisi wabelane, “Ngithanda ukuba sebudlelwaneni ngenxa yobungane nothando olungeyona uthando engiluzwayo ngabalingani bami. Kunzima ukuphuma ekwakhiweni komphakathi kobuhlobo obunothando ngokwemvelo.”

7. Ubungane vs ubuhlobo - Awukho umgomo ongokwengqondo kowokuqala

Ebudlelwaneni, asikho isidingo sokuthi 'uzuze' noma yini. Ngabantu ababili nje abablomile, babelana ngezimpilo zabo, futhi bajabulela ukuba khona komunye nomunye. Ngabuza umngani wami uVeronica ukuthi, ukuhambisana kusho ukuthini kumuntu wesifazane? Wabelana ngemibono yakhe mayelana nobungane vs ubuhlobo, “Ubudlelwano buhlose ukwakha impilo ndawonye, ​​umshado, izingane, abazukulu. Abangane bangunaphakade. Bakhona lapho ubadinga. 

“Unomuntu ohamba naye, nihambe niyodla isidlo sasemini, akudingekile ukuba ube wedwa ngamaholide uma unomuntu ohamba naye. Akukho ukuhlela kwesikhathi esizayo okwenziwa ngabo. Azikho izingxoxo zezimali, azikho izingxoxo zokuthi uzowuthengaphi umuzi, noma isiphi isikole obuzofaka izingane zakho kuso. Uyazi ukuthi zizohlala nawe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuphila kukuyisa kuphi.”

8. Ubudlelwano budinga umzamo owengeziwe ukubugcina

Umzamo ebudlelwaneni ubaluleke kakhulu. Ubudlelwano bonke budinga umzamo omkhulu ukuze buqhubeke. Kufanele uthulule lonke uthando, uzwela, ukuqonda, kanye nokwethembeka onakho kuwe ukuze busebenze. Ngezinye izikhathi uma konke lokho kunganele, kufanele ulethe izikhali ezinkulu njengokuzibophezela, ukuvumelana, umshado, kanye nezingane. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ubungani bukhululekile futhi abunalo ilungelo.

U-Ava, isazi sezinkanyezi uthi, “Ubungane abusebenzi kuyilapho ubuhlobo buyashabalala lapho omunye wabalingani ehluleka ukuhlanganisa izenzo zabo namazwi.”

9. Ubungane bulawulwa imizwelo eyakhayo

U-Jayant uyanezela, “Empikiswaneni yobungane vs ubuhlobo, ubungane bunemizwa eyakhayo kunemibi. Bunokwethembana, ukunakekela, inhlonipho, ukubekezelelana, ubungane, uthando, ukukhonzwa, ngisho nothando. Ubudlelwano nabo bunengxenye yabo yemizwa eyakhayo.

Kodwa kuba lula kakhulu ukuthuthukisa imizwa emibi lapho njengomona, ukubusa, ukuzazisa, ukuzikhukhumeza, ukukhaphela (ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo), ukukhohlisa, ukuphikelela, kanye nokulwa ngamandla ebudlelwaneni kuyizimpawu ezinobuthi eziwohloza ikhwalithi yobudlelwano.

10. Zombili zingaphila ndawonye

Kwesinye isikhathi, uba nenhlanhla futhi uthole kokubili ubungane nothando lothando kumuntu oyedwa. Kunalokho, ungaba sebudlelwaneni bothando nomuntu oyedwa futhi ube nobungane nomunye. Bangaba khona noma ngaphandle komunye nomunye. 

Izibonelo zobungane azikhawulelwe nje ekuxhumaneni komuntu nomuntu. Izilwane ezifuywayo zingaba abangani bakho nazo. Kimina, izincwadi zingabangane bami abakhulu. Phela umngane ufunwa ukuqeda isizungu futhi afune ukuvumelanisa. Ngaphambi kokuthi ungene ebudlelwaneni, qiniseka ukuthi uyazi ukuthi yini oyifunayo. Umngane ozobopha futhi uchithe isikhathi sakho noma uthando lwezothando ukwakha naye ikhaya.

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Umehluko Wobungane vs Ubudlelwano

Abangane baphenduka izithandani futhi abathandanayo bangaba ngabangane ngenxa yothando, uzwela, ukuchitha isikhathi esihle ndawonye, ​​nangokwabelana ngobuthakathaka. Ngenkathi ngibhala lesi siqeshana mayelana nobungane vs ubuhlobo, ngabona ukuthi ubudlelwano babantu budida kangakanani. Ukufana, i-polarity, nokuthi singabathola kanjani kubantu abahlukene ngesikhathi esisodwa futhi kumuntu oyedwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuyamangaza impela. 

Ngezansi kunethebula elilula ongabheka kulo uma ufuna ukwazi umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano nobudlelwano.

Ubuhlobo	Ubuhlobo
Akukho mizwa yothando noma yobulili ehilelekile. Kuthonywa ukunakekelwa, ukusekela, nothando	Kuthonywe ukukhangwa ngokomzimba, ukusondelana, kanye nothando
Uthando lobungane ludinga ukuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside	Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside budinga ukuzibophezela, kanti obesikhathi esifushane bangase bangakwenzi
Bachitha isikhathi ngokuphishekela izinto ezifanayo zokuzilibazisa noma izinhlelo zenani	Ozakwethu abadingi ukuba nezinto ezifanayo zokuzilibazisa nokuthandwayo
Ubungane buhlala isikhathi eside	Ubudlelwano bungaphela ngokulinganayo noma kube muncu ngenxa yokungezwani
Ikakhulukazi ayipheli emshadweni, nakuba imibhangqwana eshadile iba abangane ngemva kwesikhathi eside	Ozakwethu abathandanayo bagcina behlalile
Abantu abaningi basebenzisa ubungane ukuze babhekane nesizungu	Abantu bangena ebudlelwaneni ngoba besothandweni
Azikho izinjongo noma izinhloso ezingajwayelekile ngobungane	Izinhloso ezabiwe zingafaka indlu, umshado, ezezimali, izingane, njll.
Umzamo omncane uya ekugcineni ubungane	Umzamo omkhulu kufanele ufakwe yibo bobabili abalingani
Unemizwa eminingi eyakhayo njengokwethembana nokunakekela	Kanye nokuhle, kunemizwa engemihle njengomona nokungazethembi
Ubungane bungaguquka kalula bube ubudlelwano	Ubungane kufanele buhlakulelwe ebudlelwaneni

Njengawe ofunda lesi siqeshana, nami bengingazi nowodwa umehluko omncane phakathi kobudlelwano nobudlelwano, ingasaphathwa eyeshumi. Lapho ngiqhubeka ngifunda ngothando nobunkimbinkimbi bobudlelwano, ngiba nokuqonda okwengeziwe kubantu. 

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