Ukuphila Ngokugxekwa Njalo Kwabasekhweni

Cabanga ngalokhu: unomyeni omuhle, umndeni okahle, indlu enhle enengadi, nenja enhle kunazo zonke obulokhu uyifuna. Kuzwakala kukuhle, akunjalo? Konke lokhu kukhona emhlabeni ophelele kuphela, ngoba uma unakho konke obukufuna, into ongakaze uyicabange izokonakala. Futhi ezimweni eziningi, ukugxekwa njalo emshadweni ngabasemzini wakho.

Ukufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokugxekwa njalo kwabazali kuwumsebenzi onzima futhi abesifazane abaningi baphoqelela abayeni babo ukuba banqamule ubuhlobo nabazali babo noma uma bengafuni ukuba 'isikhohlakali' ebuhlotsheni obuphelele bukamama nendodana, izinto ziyathandeka futhi ziba zimbi nakakhulu. Ngamanye amazwi, bahlukanisa.

Ukugxekwa Njalo Emshadweni Kwabasekhweni

Imiphumela yokugxeka njalo ikufica ngokushesha futhi ngokushesha ukuklolodelwa nokuhlambalaza okushibhile kuba nzima ukukuziba. Umyeni wakho angase angakusukumeli phambi kwabazali bakhe ngoba ungumfana kamama futhi akafuni ukucekela phansi ubuhlobo bakhe nabo ngenxa yokuxabana okuncane.

Kodwa ingabe uyazi ukuthi ubani ongakusiza ukuba ubhekane nalokhu kugxekwa njalo emshadweni? Izingane zakho. Wonke ugogo nomkhulu ubathanda kakhulu umzukulu wabo futhi abakwazi ukubathola okwanele. Cishe kuyiqiniso ukuthi abasekhweni bakho bangase bagxeke amakhono akho okukhulisa izingane kodwa ubeke ukucasuka kwakho eceleni isikhashana ulalele ukuthi izingane zakho zithini. Bahlale benendlela eyingqayizivele yokubhekana nezinkinga ezinkulu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani ngajabula nakakhulu lapho ngiyeka ukuzama ukujabulisa abasekhweni lami

Umalokazana 'ophelele'

Ngolunye usuku, ngizihlalele esitolo sekhofi esitolo sezincwadi, ngezwa izintokazi ezimbili esezikhulile zixoxa ngezinto ezingabikezelwa - omalokazana bazo. Njengoba nami ngingumalokazana futhi ngibhekisisa kakhulu isimo somuntu, ngalalela ngokungenamahloni ingxoxo yabo.

“Umalokazana wami uthukuthela ngokushesha,” kusho intokazi egqoke ingubo eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka. “Akathandi ukugxekwa mina ngisamfuna izindlela zokubhekana nomalokazana onomona. Uzophendula ngokushesha uma ngimthukuthelele.”

“Ubani ongeke,” ngacabanga.

“Umalokazana wami umnandi kakhulu ngaleyo ndlela,” kusho enye inkosikazi egqoke okuluhlaza. “Ngisho noma imphatha kabi into engiyishoyo, uvele athule angaphikisani.”

Ngihlahle amehlo.

Ukuzwa lokhu kuxoxisana kwabuyisa izinkumbulo ezingemnandi zo-anti asebekhulile basekhaya bengitshela ngendlela abasekhweni babo ababebagcona ngayo ‘ngamaphutha’ abo ahlukahlukene kodwa baphoqeleka ukuba bakuthathe njengemidlalo emnandi ngoba lokho kwenziwa omalukazana/omkabo.

Okulindelweyo akunangqondo

Emphakathini wethu, ziningi (ziningi kakhulu!) izimfanelo ezibonakalayo nezingabonakali okufanele umalokazana abe nazo. Ngaphandle kwalokho okusobala njengokuphuma emkhayeni omuhle nokuba nomsebenzi, inkosikazi noma umalokazana kufanele akwazi ukupheka kahle, awashe izingubo, aphathe ikhaya, ahlale phakathi kwesabelo-mali nokukhulisa izingane kahle.

Ukwengeza, kunokulindela okungashiwongo ukuthi intombazane izohlangana kahle nomndeni womyeni futhi ingxenye enkulu yalokhu kuwukuziphatha okuhle ngokwamukela ukugxekwa - kokubili okuyiqiniso nokudelela ngokungadingekile. Kulindeleke ukuthi alalele ukugxekwa njalo komyeni wakhe ngaphandle kokukhipha izwi.

Le mfanelo yobungcwele idlula zonke ezinye izimfanelo, ngisho noma kungekho muntu ozolivuma obala leli qiniso. Umalokazana ozobeka ngokusobala abagxeki esikhundleni sabo futhi azimelele akuyena umqondo wanoma ubani olungile, ngisho noma angase afane noJennifer Aniston futhi azuze ngezibalo eziyisikhombisa.

Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo

Kwangithatha isikhathi eside ukuqaphela ukuthi izinkulumo ezicashile nezingaqondile zezihlobo ezihloselwe ukubangela ubuhlungu aziyona ingxenye yokuphila komshado kodwa empeleni ziwuhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, ngazamukela futhi empeleni ngazizwa ngiziqhenya ngokuzibekezelela, ngicabanga ukuthi kungenza ngibe umuntu onamandla. Akwenzekanga. Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngangizizwa ngintula izimfanelo zenkosikazi ekahle.

Ukuzama ukufunda indlela yokubhekana nokugxekwa umndeni kwangenza ngalahlekelwa ukuzethemba nokuzethemba. Kungenze ngalahlekelwa umbono wemigomo nezifiso zami. Kungenze ngayazisa njalo injabulo yabanye abantu kuneyami, iphethini eyingozi kakhulu engawela kuyo ngoba icishe iqinisekise ukungajabuli.

Abantu besifazane bayajwayela lokhu kubeka phansi okucashile baze bangababoni futhi abazi ukuthi ukuzethemba kwabo kuyaphela kancane kancane. Kancane kancane, owesifazane uzoqala ukulahlekelwa ubuyena futhi ahlale engabaza ukubaluleka kwakhe. Wenziwa ukuthi azizwe sengathi akukho azoke akwenze kwanele.

Ukugxeka kungase kube kuningi kakhulu ngezinye izikhathi

Owesifazane we-career uzongabaza uma egxekwa ngokunganaki ikhaya nomndeni. Umama wekhaya uzozizwa ephansi ngokungafaki isandla ngokwezimali ekhaya. Owesifazane onekhono ekuphekeni ngeke abongwe kodwa uzothola ukugxekwa njalo kumamezala wakhe ngokugcina umuzi onakele.

Akuvamile ukuthi amadoda abhekane nalolu hlobo lokungaboni kahle. Ngosuku engaphawula ngalo ukuthi ngangihlale ngicasulwa abantwabami, yilelo langa engaqaphela ngalo ukuthi kufanele ngenze ushintsho ekuphileni kwami. Ngangingafuni ukuba umuntu ogxekayo, kodwa ukugxeka kubonakala kuyingxenye ebalulekile yobudlelwano, futhi amakhosikazi nomalokazana bathola okubi kakhulu.

Amanani omndeni akufanele kube mayelana nokuzama ukubumba abantu ekupheleleni. Kufanele kube ngothando nokwamukelwa. Ikhaya kufanele libe yindawo ethambile ongabuyela kuyo lapho umhlaba unzima, hhayi indawo ongabalekela kuyo!

Ngokujabulisayo, kwakuyizingane zami ezangifundisa ukuthi ngingabhekana kanjani nokugxekwa njalo emshadweni kanye nokubeka phansi okungahleliwe. Noma nini lapho bebhekene nokugxekwa abanomuzwa wokuthi kungenasizathu, bavele bamoyizele baqhubeke nokwenza noma yini abayenzayo.

Uma bengamthandi umuntu, bavele banganaki lowo muntu ngaphandle kokuphendula, kuyilapho belokhu bemamatheka ukuze angaphatheki kabi. Lokhu kuyasebenza ngempela. Ngizamile mina. Abantu bayakhathala ukugxeka uma bebona sengathi akunamphumela. Manje sengingumuntu ojabule kakhulu. Konke engikwenzayo namuhla, ngikwenza ngoba ngifuna ngokuqaphela hhayi ngoba ngingene ngekhanda kukho ngokugxekwa njalo.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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