Ukuhlala Ngokuhlukana Ndawonye: Ukuqopha Ithrendi Yakamuva Kuthiwe Ukugcina Ubudlelwano

Uma ngicabanga ngoFrida Kahlo, akuyona nje imidwebo yakhe ebamba amehlo ami kodwa nendlu yakhe eyaba ubufakazi bokuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe, u-Diego Rivera. Njengoba ziphethwe ngokuhlanganyela, lezi zindlu ezimbili zazixhunywe ngebhuloho. Umbhangqwana wamaciko odumile kuthiwa unobudlelwane obuyinkimbinkimbi, obudume kabi obungajwayelekile. Kodwa noma sebenokungezwani, babenebhuloho elibaxhumanisayo.

Isimo somphakathi singenza ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye, ​​okusho ukuhlala ngokwehlukana ngenkathi nithandana, kube nzima ukubambana ngakho kubantu abaningi. Kungani umuntu ecabanga ngokuphila impilo ehlukene ngenkathi eshadile, omunye angase azibuze. Kusiza ngani ukushada? Sesiyakwamukela ukuthi abantu abashadile bahlala ndawonye. Phela ubungane buyingqikithi yobudlelwano bothando.

Nokho, njengoba uqaphela noma ukwamukela iqiniso lokuthi ayikho indlela elungile noma engalungile yokwakha ubuhlobo, akunzima ukubona ukuthi kungani ilungiselelo elinjalo lingase lisebenze kahle kweminye imibhangqwana. Futhi ukuthi akuyona into engavamile noma engenangqondo. Phela, umsebenzi ongabonakali wokugcina ubudlelwano usenze sonke ukuba sibuze, "Ingabe ukuthatha indawo kuhle ebuhlotsheni?" Uma lowo mbuzo uthinta wena, ukubukisisa ubungane bokuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye kungase kukufanelekele isikhathi sakho.

Abantu abakholelwa ukuthi sekuseduze kakhulu noma abangakakulungeli ukuhlala ndawonye ngokuvamile bakhetha ukuhlala ngokwehlukana kodwa ndawonye. Ngisho nemibhangqwana eshadile efisa ngempela ukuhlala ndawonye kodwa ingakwazi ukwenza kanjalo ngenxa yezizathu ezinjengomsebenzi noma abazali abagulayo ingase ikhethe amanye amalungiselelo omshado anjalo. Imibhangqwana esencane ivamise ukukhetha lokhu ndawonye ngokuhlukana ukuze igweme izinkinga ezifika ngokuhlukana/isehlukaniso, kuyilapho imibhangqwana esekhulile ikubheka njengendlela yokuphila evumela ukuba nesikhathi sodwa.

Kungani Imibhangqwana Eshadile Ikhetha Indlela Yokuphila ye-LAT?

Isimo somphakathi sasifundise abantu ukuthi imibhangqwana kwakufanele ihlale ndawonye emishadweni, ngisho nalapho ilahlekelwa ukuzimela kwayo. Lokhu ngokuvamile kwakuphumela esimweni lapho umuntu kwakudingeka akhethe phakathi komshado wabo noma ukuzimela. Nokho, ukushada kodwa ningahlali ndawonye kunikeza inketho yesithathu lapho umuntu kufanele ahlehle kukho kokubili. 

Kungase kube nezizathu ezihlukahlukene zokuthi kungani umbhangqwana oshadile ungakhetha ukuhlala ngokwehlukana ndawonye:

• Izinkinga zokuhambisana: Seziqala ukujwayelana futhi azisakwazi ukubekezela. Ngokwesibonelo, encwadini, I-Symmetry yakhe Enhle, U-Martin no-Marijke bahlukana ngemva nje kokuba incwadi iqale. UMartin wayenesimo esibi kakhulu se-OCD, okwenza uMarijke wanquma ukuhlala endaweni ehlukile. Imibhangqwana ingase ikhethe ukungahlali ndawonye ukuze igweme izingxabano ezingadingekile futhi izingxabano ebudlelwaneni. Bangase basothandweni futhi bafune ubudlelwano babo besikhathi eside buhlale kodwa bangase babe nenkinga yokugcina umlingo uphila ngenkathi behlala ndawonye endlini eyodwa.
• Ukuvikela izingane: Ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga zomshado zingenza abantu bahlukane, kodwa ngenxa yezingane zabo, imibhangqwana eminingi inquma ukuhlala ndawonye. Umshado ongenalo uthando kungaba nzima ukuwusekela, ngisho noma umbhangqwana ungakaze ulwe phambi kwezingane. Ngakho ukuhlala ngokuhlukana nezingane kungaba yisixazululo lapho bobabili abazali bengaba khona kubantwana futhi kungadingeki ukuba bazihlukumeze ngokuthethisana nsuku zonke.
• Okunye okwehlukanisa: Imibhangqwana eminingi ye-LAT ihlala emakhelini ahlukene ukuze ithole umbono ngaphambi kwesehlukaniso noma njengenye indlela yokuhlukanisa ngenxa yezizathu zezomnotho ezifana nomhlalaphansi noma izinzuzo zomshuwalense
• Izibopho zobungcweti: Uma oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani benemisebenzi enzima noma betshalwe ngokujulile emisebenzini yabo, bangase bacabangele ukuhlala kude nomngane womshado ngenxa yomsebenzi. Ekhuluma ngesimo sakhe se-LAT, u-Bertha, umhlengikazi waseKansas, wasitshela, "Ngesikhathi sobhadane, ngathola indlu encane eduze kwesibhedlela. Ngangikhathazekile ngengozi yokutheleleka umyeni wami nendodana. Lapho izindawo zomphakathi zivuleka, ngabuyela emuva. Kodwa ngaphuthelwa ukuvuka ekuseni kakhulu. Efulethini lami elisha, ngangingaba namahora ajwayelekile futhi ngangihlale ngikhathele nomyeni wami, ngangihlale ngicabanga. futhi sihlala ngokwehlukana?” Umyeni wami, owayesejwayele ukuzinakekela, wasamukela leso siphakamiso, ngakho ngaphinde ngaphuma endlini ngonyaka odlule.
• Isidingo sokuzimela: Umbhangqwana oshadile ohlala ngokwehlukana ungase ukhethe le ndlela yokuphila ukuze ubuyise isikhathi owalahlekelwa ukunakekela imindeni yawo iminyaka. Ngakho kanye izingane ziye zandiza isidleke, abalingani bempilo bangase bakhethe ukuhlala ezindaweni ezihlukene futhi bajabulele ukuphila ngokwemibandela yabo

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Abantu Behlukana Nothando Futhi Yini Okufanele Bayenze Uma Kwenzeka?

Ingakanani iphesenti labantu abahlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye?

Ngokusho kocwaningo , abantu abangu-35% abangashadile noma abangahlali ndawonye baye basabela ekubeni sebudlelwaneni be-LAT. Lolu lwazi luhlanganisa nabantu be-LGBTQ. 15% wabesifazane abathandana nabobulili obufanayo kanye no-17% wamadoda angongqingili kuphakanyiswa ukuthi basebudlelwaneni be-LAT ukuze balondoloze ubumfihlo ngobuhlobo babo, ukuze kube nobudlelwano obulinganayo, noma bakhulise ukusondelana ngenkathi behlala bezimele. Ngokusho kocwaningo lwaseCanada , abantu abadala abasebasha banamathuba amaningi okuba imibhangqwana ye-LAT. Emaqenjini eminyaka engu-20-24 kanye no-25-29, cishe u-31% kanye no-17% babehlala ngokwehlukana ndawonye, ​​ngokulandelana. Kubantu abaneminyaka engu-30-59, kwakuphakathi kuka-3% no-5%, yize lezi zinombolo bezilokhu zikhuphuka kusukela lapho.

Izinzuzo Nezingozi Zokuhlalisana Ngokuhlukana

Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abantu bangena ebudlelwaneni bokuhlala bodwa ngezizathu ezahlukene, kodwa ezivame kakhulu yilezi:

1. Banezinkinga zokuhlela, okungukuthi, banezibopho ezifana nomsebenzi noma izibopho ezidinga ukuthi bahlukane.
2. Bayangabaza uma kunjalo ngokushesha kakhulu ukuba singene ndawonye ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo futhi ungathanda ukuhlola ubudlelwano ngaphambi kokuthuthela ndawonye
3. Imibhangqwana ehlala ngokuhlukana ngokuvamile iye yahlala ndawonye isikhathi eside futhi ifuna ukuthatha indlela ehlukile lapho ingase izimele khona.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi nakuba isizathu sokuqala singagcini nje eqenjini elithile, isizathu sesibili nesesithathu sibonakala kakhulu kubantu abasha nabadala, ngokulandelana. Uma sicabanga ngobuhle nobubi bokuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye, ​​kufanele sicabangele iqembu lobudala okungenzeka libe nalo.

buhle	bawo
Kukhona indawo yokuzimela nokuzibophezela ngokomzwelo	Kukhona futhi indawo yokukhula ngokuhlukana kancane kancane
Bobabili abalingani bangaba "nendawo yokuphefumula", engenza ukuxazulula izingxabano kuphumelele kakhulu	Ubudlelwano bungaholela ekucasukeni noma ekuthambekeni kokubalekela, njengoba isiphazamiso silula kunokuxazulula
Imibhangqwana ehlala ngokuhlukana ikuthola kulula ukuhamba; akukho ukucindezeleka ekuhlukaniseni izimpahla	Ukuntuleka kokutshalwa kwezimali ezimpahleni ezingokomfanekiso kungase kuholele ekuntuleni ukuzibophezela
Ikhwalithi yesikhathi ethuthukisiwe	Kudinga umzamo osebenzayo ukuze ulondoloze ubuhlobo
Ungaba nesikhathi sokugxila kuwena ngemva kweminyaka eminingi unakekela abanye	Kungabangela ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana. Ukwengeza, ubhekene nesahlulelo somphakathi sokuthi ushadile kodwa uhlala ngokwehlukana
Amakhilomitha ahlukene agcina uthando luphila, njengoba abalingani bengase bathathe kancane	Kukhona amathuba okukhulela kude nomlingani wakho
Ungakwazi ukubalekela imisebenzi engadingeki - lokhu kungaba inzuzo enkulu kwabesifazane abakhathele ngenxa yomsebenzi ongabonakali	Ukugcina imindeni ehlukene kungaholela emthwalweni owengeziwe wezezimali
Kuyisixazululo esilula kunesehlukaniso	Kunzima ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye nezingane ezincane kakhulu, futhi akusebenzi uma bobabili abalingani bengekho kulo mbono.

Ingabe i-LAT Ikulungele?

Eminye imibhangqwana eshadile ehlala ngokwehlukana, njengabadlali ababili uClaire Danes noHugh Dancy, kuye kwadingeka bahlale ezindaweni ezahlukene iminyaka eminingana ngenxa yezibopho zabo. Uthe engxoxweni ukuthi kumenze wazisa ukusondelana ngokomzimba. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ama-LAT azoba umkhuba okhulayo esikhathini esizayo, futhi izici ezifana "nokuguga, izinga lemfundo ephakeme, kanye nesimo sokusebenza" zinegalelo ekwandeni kwalokhu.

Nakuba abaqeqeshi abaningi bokuqomisana beminyaka emisha bencoma impumelelo yama-LAT ngomqondo wokusebenzisa ubuntu bomuntu, ucwaningo luphinde lusikisele ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi ye-LAT yakhiwa ngoba kulula ukuhlala ngokwehlukana kunokuhlukana ngokuphelele. Kuzo zombili lezi zimo, sithola imbangela ethakazelisayo. Okuphawulekayo,

1. Abantu bafuna ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye ngenhloso ukuze bavikele ababo isikhala somuntu siqu. Lokhu, nokho, kudinga ukuzibophezela ngamabomu, okungantengantengi ebudlelwaneni
2. Abantu bafuna ukulondoloza ubudlelwano noma ukuvikela izintshisekelo zabo ekuzibophezeleni futhi bakhethe ukuhlala ngokwehlukana. Ngakho, iba yindlela yokuzivikela

Manje, asisho ukuthi esisodwa kuphela salezi zizathu esilungile, kodwa ukuthola impendulo ethi, “Ingabe i-LAT ikulungele?”, kuzoncika kakhulu kuwe kunanoma yiziphi izici zangaphandle. Ngakho-ke, kala izinzuzo nezingozi zokuhlala nomuntu wakho obalulekile kanye nalezo zokuhlala ndawonye kodwa hhayi ndawonye ngokucophelela. Nansi imibuzo embalwa ongazibuza yona ukuze uthole indlela yakho:

1. Kungani ufuna ukuba nendawo yakho?

Inhloso yenza umehluko omkhulu phakathi:

1. Ukuhlala kude ukuze ubudlelwano buqhubeke

2. Ukunquma ukuhlala ngokwehlukana ngoba ufuna ukugcina umlingo uphila ebudlelwaneni benu. 

Kungase kubonakale kuyinto efanayo, kodwa akunjalo. Okwakuqala kuyindlela nje yokulahla umlingani wakho ngaphandle kokubeka engcupheni isimo sokuba sebudlelwaneni, kuyilapho ekugcineni, akukho ukucasukela umlingani wakho, ngakho uzokwenza umzamo wokubuyela kuye. 

Umlingisi uJamie Chung nomyeni wakhe, uBryan Greenberg banqume ukuthuthela emakhelini ahlukene njengoba bobabili bathola ukuthi indawo yabo ibaluleke kakhulu kubo njengobudlelwane babo.

• Zibuze ukuthi yini ngokuba nendawo yakho okungakujabulisa
• Ingabe leli yisu lokuzuza amandla phezu komlingani wakho?
• Ngabe kuzoba nzima ukubuyelana ngemva kwesikhathi esithile?

Izimpendulo zale mibuzo zizokutshela ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho busedwala. Kwesinye isikhathi i-LTA iyabugcina ubudlelwano, kodwa asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi izothuthukisa ikhwalithi yobudlelwano. Ngaphandle uma wenza umzamo obonakalayo wokulungisa lokho okuphukile, ikakhulukazi, kuzokunikeza ukuphumula kwesikhashana.

2. Usuyitholile i-logistics?

Uma usunayo impahla efana nepulazi noma ikhabethe ongayisebenzisela le njongo, kuhle lokho. Uma kungenjalo, udinga ukucabanga ngokuthi ubani ozophuma, azohlala kuphi, nezinye izici zezezimali nezokusebenza zalokhu kukhetha.

• Bala Logistics. Uzohlala kuphi? Uzoyikhokha kanjani irenti?
• Ingabe ukuthenga izindlu ngokuhlukana ndawonye kuwumbono omuhle, ikakhulukazi uma oyedwa kuphela wenu oholayo?
• Uma unezikweletu ezinkulu, akuwenzi umqondo ukungena entweni efana nalena. I ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali ukusebenza ngaphandle kokungeza izikweletu kungaqhubeka kulimaze ubudlelwano bakho
• Uma unezingane ezincane zihlala nobani? Uzozihlukanisa kanjani izindleko zesondlo?

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izizathu Eziyi-10 Ezimangalisayo Ezenziwa Umkakho Zokungahlangani Nocansi

3. Uzizwa kanjani ngomlingani wakho?

Khomba ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngomlingani wakho. Ingabe uzwa uthando nokulangazelela ngabo, noma usanda kushada futhi uphila ukuphila okuhlukene?

• Uphuma kangaki ngezinsuku ngenyanga?
• Ingabe ubabiza into yokuqala lapho kwenzeka okuthile okuhle?
• Ungathanda ukubuyela kubo uma seniqale ukuhlala ngokwehlukana?

Uma wena nomlingani wakho ningasakwazi ukuxhumana okufanayo, khona-ke kuwuphawu lokuthi ubudlelwano ngeke buhlale isikhathi eside . Kuleli qophelo, akukho lutho olungasebenza. Ngokufanayo, esinye sezibonakaliso zokuthi awukakulungeli ukuthuthela ndawonye ebudlelwaneni obusha ukuthi awuzizwa ujabule ngokuchitha isikhathi nomlingani wakho.

Amathiphu ayi-9 Okwenza Ubudlelwano Be-LAT busebenze

Ukuhlala ngokwehlukana ngenkathi usesebudlelwaneni kuthiwa kunikeza izinzuzo zobuntu, okuhlanganisa nekhono lokwenza njengoba ufuna endaweni yakho nokugcina ubudlelwano obukhona kanye nokuxhumana, kanye nokwanda kokusondelana ebuhlotsheni . Kodwa-ke, abantu abaningi babheka kuphela ingxenye engajulile futhi bakholelwa ukuthi abantu bathatha le ndlela ukuze babalekele umthwalo wemfanelo ebuhlotsheni. Lokhu akulona iqiniso ngokuphelele, kodwa uma sibheka ucwaningo , abantu abathembele ngokwezimali ebuhlotsheni bathola ingxenye emfushane. Uma ukhumbula lezi zici, nansi indlela ongenza ngayo ubudlelwano be-LAT busebenze:

1. Yamukele ngezizathu ezifanele

Nakuba okulungile nokungalungile kungamagama azimele, ukukhomba isizathu sokunquma ukuhlala ndawonye ngokwehlukana kubalulekile. Uma ukwenza nje ngoba sekuba nzima ukuhlala ndawonye ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi, kungase kungabi umqondo omuhle. Ufanelwe ukuba nobudlelwano obanelisayo. Ukubeka ibanga phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho kungase kungazixazululi ngokuphelele izinkinga zakho. Ukuze uthole ukuthi kungani ufuna ukwenza lokhu kukhetha,

• Cabanga futhi ubhale ukuthi kungani ukuhlala ngokwehlukana kuyoba ngcono kunokuhlukana. Ungase ufune ukulondoloza ubudlelwano, kodwa ingabe buyahlenga? Ingabe kungaba ngcono? Ungakwazi yini ukwenza izinguquko kuwe ukuze uthuthukise ubudlelwano? 
• Xoxani ngokuthi ningahlala kanjani ngokwehlukana kodwa ndawonye ngaphambi kokuba niluqale lolu hambo. Kubalulekile ukuthi nobabili niyivume ukuze isebenze. Xoxa ngakho konke kusengaphambili, ngakho-ke sincane indawo yezinkinga kamuva. Uma ukwazi ukuyikhokhela, yizame okwesikhathi esifushane ubone ukuthi iyasebenza yini
• Ungakwazi futhi ukuthintana nomeluleki noma umqeqeshi wobudlelwano ukuze akusize uthole ukuthi ungenza kanjani ngokubeka imithetho eyisisekelo yobudlelwano bakho be-LAT, nokuthi ungabenza kanjani busebenze. Sivamise ukungaboni ngaso linye uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni, futhi inkampani yangaphandle enenhloso ingasisiza sibone isithombe esikhulu. Ngo I-Bonobology, sinephaneli elihle kakhulu labeluleki nabaqeqeshi bezobudlelwano abazokuqondisa kulokhu

2. Yenza umzamo wokukhulumisana njalo

Lokhu kubonakala kungeyona into engavamile. Phela, ukuxhumana kuyinsika yanoma yiluphi ubudlelwano. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, ngisho nezinto ezisobala kakhulu zinganakwa. Imibhangqwana iveza imizwa ngokuziphatha kwayo esikhundleni sokuxazulula izinkinga zayo ezinkulu zokuxhumana . Nakuba lokhu kungewona umkhuba onempilo kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano, kuba kubaluleke nakakhulu ukugcina iziteshi zokuxhumana zivulekile emshadweni ohlukile.

• Zama ukukhuluma nsuku zonke. Ungagcini ngokukhuluma ngemisebenzi yasekhaya noma ngomsebenzi; khuluma nganoma yini nakho konke okusemqondweni wakho, nendlela ozizwa ngayo. Lalela ukuthi umlingani wakho uthini; ungabi lapho nje unqekuzisa ikhanda. Bamba iqhaza. Lokhu kungaba nzima ekuqaleni, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzolangazelela isikhathi sefoni
• Zama ukuba nale ngxoxo ekuseni kakhulu, ngemva kwesidlo sakusihlwa noma noma nini lapho ukhululeke ngokuphelele eziphazameni.
• Okubaluleke kakhulu, zama ukukhuluma ngezingxabano zakho. Ikakhulukazi uma uthatha isinyathelo sokusindisa ubudlelwano bakho, kufanele ukhulume ngezinto ezingakuphathi kahle. Ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye kukunika isikhathi sokucabangisisa ngezinto futhi uphole lapho kukhulunywa ngezinto ezibuhlungu. Kodwa ungayisebenzisi ukuze ubalekele izinkinga zakho

3. Ungaphila kanjani ngokuhlukana nomuntu oshade naye? Chithani isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye

Uma uzama ukugwema umlingani wakho lapho nihlala ndawonye noma uzizwa ulahliwe noma nini lapho kufanele ukhulume naye, kukhona okungalungile ngobudlelwano benu. Imfihlo yomshado ophumelelayo nihlala ngokuhlukana ukuthi kudingeka ube nenhloso yokufuna ukuba nabo. Ukuze ukwenze kusebenze, yiba nezinsuku zamasonto onke noma zamasonto amabili, nanoma yini ikhalenda lakho elikuvumelayo.

• Qinisekisa ukuthi azikho iziphazamiso ngesikhathi sakho sekhwalithi. Gcina ifoni yakho ivuliwe, ungayihloli njalo ngeminye iminithi. Yiya endaweni lapho mancane khona amathuba okuthi uhlangane nabanye abantu noma uzame ekhaya date ebusuku imibono. Awudingi ukuya ocansini ngaso sonke isikhathi, kodwa udinga ukuxhumana ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo
• Zama ukugxila komunye nomunye - ukuthi umlingani wakho ubukeka kanjani nokuthi uqhubeka kanjani. Ungayenzi indawo yokuphikisana

4. Beka imingcele emshadweni wenu ohlukene

Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi izingxoxo zakho ziyagcwaliseka nokuthi isikhathi osichitha nazo siyikhwalithi ngempela, udinga ukubeka imingcele ethile. Imingcele enempilo iyinjini egcina ubudlelwano buqhubeka.

• Khomba ifayela le- amadili-breakers ebudlelwaneni bakho uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi ungaqala kuphi. Qhubeka uguqule imingcele njengoba ufunda lokho ongakwazi nokungakwazi ukubhekana nakho
• Uma ubuhlobo bakho buhlupheka ngenxa yokuntuleka kwemingcele, kungase kube nzima ekuqaleni. Ngoba nokho kinina ojwayele ukubanjelwa emuva, kungase kube sengathi uhlehliswa. Lokhu kungakwenza uzivikele futhi ungavikeleki. Zinike isikhathi sokufunda ukubhekana nakho
• Funda ukwenqaba. Nikeza umlingani wakho isikhathi, kodwa funda ukusebenzisa ukuzimela kwakho. Ungahambisani nayo

5. Yenza izinto ozithandayo

Ngisho noma uthatha lesi sinyathelo ukuze usebenzise ukuzimela kwakho, isimo senhlalo singase sibonise imizwa yokungapheleli noma umuzwa wecala ngokushiya umlingani wakho. Ukuze ulwe nemizwa yokuba nesizungu noma umuzwa wecala, zitike ngezinto ozithandayo.

• Ukuphila ukuphila okuhlukene ngenkathi ushadile kukunikeza amathuba okuhlola umhlaba okuzungezile. Hamba ngezinyawo, sondela emvelweni, funda ikhono elisha - umhlaba uyi-oyster yakho
• Hlala uxhumene nabangani kanye nomndeni wakho. Sebenzisa lokhu njengethuba lokubabekela isikhathi esengeziwe futhi uqinise umbuthano wakho ongaphakathi
• Gxila ezintweni obukade ufuna ukuzenza kodwa ongakwazanga ukuya kuzo. Qedela leyo ncwadi, thatha amakilasi e-ballet, futhi uqale ngephrojekthi yakho yamaphupho. U-Katya, umlobi waseNevada, wasitshela, "Mina nomyeni wami siphila ukuphila okuhlukene. Ngingumuntu ophuphayo; uqinile phansi. Siyathandana, kodwa emuva eNew York, sasiphila izimpilo ezihlukene ebuhlotsheni, futhi lokho kwangenza ngizizwe ngingumkhohlisi. Umshado we-LAT uye washintsha umdlalo wethu futhi usisondeze kakhulu kunalokho esasikwazi ukuhlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa lwebhizinisi lakhe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zesexwayiso Zokuthi Umlingani Wakho Ulahlekelwa Yisithakazelo Ebuhlotsheni

6. Hlela kahle ukuhlala ngokuhlukana nomntwana

Uma unezingane, kufanele ucabangele isimo sazo. Njengoba izingane zilungiselelwe ukubona umkhaya njengengxenye engahlukaniseki, lokhu kungase kuzidide. Izingxoxo ezifanele noma ukwelulekwa kubalulekile ukuze uzinikeze ukucaciseleka futhi uzifake ebhodini.

• Kungabakhona imithelela ejulile yokuhlukana ezinganeni. Yingakho kubalulekile ukubachazela ukuthi wenzani nokuthi kungani. Baqinisekise ukuthi akusho ukuthi niyahlukana ngaphandle uma kuyilokho enikwenzayo. Iphuzu liwukuthi, thembeka kubo
• Hlela isimo sokuphila. Uma izindawo zakho ziseduze, izingane zingakhetha ukuzungeza ngezikhathi ezithile. Uma kungenjalo, mhlawumbe izingane zingahlala nomzali oyedwa futhi zichithe izimpelasonto namaholide nomunye, noma zichithe isikhathi nomunye umzali noma nini lapho zivakashela. Buza imibono yabo njengoba ukunyakaza njalo kungaphazamisa izimpilo zabo zansuku zonke kanye nezinhlelo
• Cela usizo kumlingani wakho uma uludinga. Ngisho noma uzama ukuzimela, akudingekile ukuba uhambe wedwa, ikakhulukazi emkhakheni wokukhulisa izingane

7. Khumbula ukuthi ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye ubuhlobo akusona isixazululo sawo wonke umuntu

Khumbula ukuthi ubudlelwano bokuhlala ndawonye ngaphandle buyisisombululo senkinga ethile: ukuntuleka kokuzimela ebudlelwaneni. Ukusebenzisa lokhu njengendlela yokujezisa umlingani wakho okhohlisayo noma ukuzama ukugwema izingxabano ebudlelwaneni akukuhle.

• Xoxisanani ngesidingo salesi sinyathelo. Imibhangqwana ye-LAT ikhetha lokhu ngoba ithanda kokubili indawo yayo yomuntu siqu kanye nobuhlobo obuseduze nabalingani babo, futhi ukuhlalisana kungase kuholele ekutheni bayekethise esicini esisodwa. Ingabe izizathu zakho zihlukile kunalokhu?
• Njengoba u-Helena Bonham Carter akubeka mayelana nobudlelwano bakhe be-LAT no-Tim Burton, "Akuphoqelelwa ukusondelana. Kukhethiwe, okuyinto ethopha kakhulu - uma ukwazi ukukukhokhela." Umbhangqwana womlingisi nomqondisi bahlala ebudlelwaneni beminyaka eyishumi nantathu lapho behlala ezindaweni ezahlukene zendlu ukuze bagcine ubumfihlo babo. Zama ukuqasha izindlu ezihlukene ndawonye inyanga yonke futhi ucabange ngemizwa yakho ngobudlelwano bakho uma ingagqugquzelwa ukusondelana. Ubungakhetha ukusondelana uma bekungaphoqelelwa?
• Ukuba nezindlu ezimbili, ngisho noma nobabili nisebenza, kungabiza. Kungase kubonakale kuwumqondo omuhle ukuba nendawo yakho lapho ungakwazi ukuhlehla khona, kodwa uma uphuma ukuze nje ulungise lezo zindleko, ngeke kwenze lutho oluhle.

8. Sebenzela ekungazethembini kwakho

Uma nizabalaza nokungazethembi, ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye kungakhulisa ukungabaza kanye nemibono ehlukahlukene mayelana nezinhloso zomlingani wakho. Kuzomele ucabange ukuthi uyasikwa yini ukuphatha lolu hlelo lobudlelwano obungajwayelekile

• Uma impendulo yakho esiphakamisweni sokuhlala ngokuhlukana iwumshoshaphansi othi “Angiphili ngaphandle kwakho”, maningi amathuba okuba uzozabalaza nokuzimela. I-Codependency ebudlelwaneni ingakhawulela ubuntu bakho. Esikhundleni sokugwema imizwa yakho, bhekana nayo. Zibekele imigomo elinganisekayo futhi ube nengqondo yokuthuthuka. Lungela ukwehluleka, kodwa ungakuvumeli ukuthi kukuchaze
• Hlola ngokucophelela imibono yakho engemihle futhi uyiphonsele inselelo. Ukuzikhuluma kabi kungalimaza ukukhula kwakho kwengqondo, ngakho-ke gxila kuwena. Gcina isimiso. Yidla okunempilo, ulale kahle, zindla, futhi ugcine ijenali. Gxila ekucabangeni 
• Yiba senkampanini yabantu abakhuthazayo, abajabulayo. Funa usizo kubangani nomndeni lapho kuba nzima ukuqhubeka

9. Ungavumeli abantu besithathu bathole izwi

Umsebenzisi we-Instagram uSana Akahand wayeshadile kodwa ehlala ngokwehlukana nomyeni wakhe ngemuva kokuqaphela ukuthi base bexhomekeka komunye nomunye. Wayefuna ukuzama ukushada nokuphila izimpilo ezihlukene ngesikhathi esifanayo kodwa kwadingeka alwe nokucindezeleka kwenkolo okuvela emphakathini wakubo ngokumelene 'nobudlelwano bakhe bendlela yokuphila'. Lo mbhangqwana we-LAT wanquma ukuqhubeka nesinqumo sawo naphezu kokucindezeleka, futhi uthi "sebebuyile ndawonye beqinile kunanini ngaphambili" (sic).

• Kwamanye amasiko, ingcindezi yomndeni ngokumelene nokwenza izinto ngendlela ehlukile ingaba nzima kakhulu. Funda uku beka imingcele engokomzwelo ukuvikela impilo yakho yengqondo nokugcina ubudlelwano bakho
• Uma ucabanga ukuthi labo abaseduze kwakho bangase bangaqondi ukukhetha okwenzayo, kugcine ngaphakathi kobudlelwane bakho. Ukusebenzisa izaba ezifana nokuzibophezela emsebenzini akuwona umqondo omubi ukugcina izihlobo ezingenangqondo zingangeni ebhizinisini lakho
• Yazi okufunayo. Inqobo nje uma wena nophathina wakho nilindele okufanayo komunye nomunye, akunandaba ukuthi wonke umuntu ucabangani

Empeleni, akufanele ukhethe ubudlelwano be-LAT ngoba nje kungase kubonakale njengendlela elula yokugwema imikhuba yokuhona noma engcolile yozakwenu. Kufanele ukhethe ukuphila impilo yakho njengoba ubufisa ukuba kube ngenkathi ugcina ubudlelwano obufunayo. Kwabaningi, kubonakala njengokuthatha okuyinqaba ebuhlotsheni obuvamile, kodwa kwabanye abahlala ngempumelelo kuma-LAT, kufana nokuba nekhekhe labo futhi balidle. Okudingekayo umzamo owengeziwe, kodwa imiphumela ingaba yinzuzo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.