I-Pre-Wedding Blues: Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Zokulwa Nokucindezeleka Kwangaphambi Komshado Komakoti

Ngokunikezwa ukuthandwa kwayo, wonke umuntu ufuna ukuba umakoti womklami. Ukungatholi izingubo zomakoti zakho eziyintandokazi kungaba yiphupho elibi. Ngaphandle kwengcindezi yokuthi ubukeke umuhle, kunezingqinamba zangempela ezenza “umakoti abe” ajikijele ebusuku. Kusole idrama, ingcindezi, noma amahomoni amabi, kodwa ukuhlela “usuku olujabulisayo ekuphileni kwakho” kungase kubonakale kuyinto enzima kakhulu.

Le mizwa engase ibambe umuntu ngaphambi komshado ibizwa ngokuthi “pre-bridal blues” ngokuvamile eyaziwa ngokuthi “izinyawo ezibandayo.” Kodwa-ke, ungalivumeli igama elinesizotha likukhohlise. Icala elinzima lama-jitters lingagcina likuthathe ngokuphelele, likushiye ungakwazi ukuhamba phansi kuleyo ndawo.

Njengoba ungeke uthande ukuthi usuku lwakho olukhethekile lonakaliswe yilokho okwenzekayo engqondweni yakho, ake sibheke izimbangela zokukhathazeka kwangaphambi komshado nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokucindezeleka kwangaphambi komshado.

Isho Ukuthini I-“Bridal Blues” Empeleni?

Isiko lasentshonalanga lokunikeza into endala, into entsha, into ebolekiwe, nokunye okuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, kumlobokazi wesikhathi esizayo ukuze uthole inhlanhla nenjabulo akuhlangene ne-bridal blues esixoxa ngayo. Kunalokho, kuphambene.

Uma intombazane ethembisene umshado idlula ochungechungeni lwemizwa engemihle njengokukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka nokudabuka okungachazeki ngokushesha ngemva komshado wayo, kusho ukuthi ithola “i-bridal blues”.

Lo muzwa awuchazeki entombazaneni ngokwayo kanye nakubo abaseduze nabathandekayo. Izizathu zalo muzwa wokudangala ziyahlukahluka ngokwesizinda sikamakoti. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izizathu zikhubazekile noma zibucayi kangakanani, umnyombo wale ndaba ukuthi lawa “ma-bridal blues” akhona.

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Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho bube bude noma senibe ndawonye unyaka nje, kufika isikhathi lapho niqala ukungaqiniseki khona ngomqondo wokushada. Kusukela emithwalweni eyengeziwe kuya ekuphatheni ibhalansi yomsebenzi nomndeni, umshado uletha izinguquko eziningi.

Futhi engeza kulokho ingcindezi yokubukeka ungcono kakhulu ku-D-Day, kungase kube ngokwanele ukuthumela noma ubani kumodi yokwethuka. Ngabuza abambalwa babangane bami ngalokho ababekungabaza kakhulu ngaphambi komshado wabo. Lezi ezinye zezinto ezisabisayo ezivunywa ngabesifazane abathembisene umshado.

1. “Ingabe ngenza okufanele?”

Amantombazane angu-8 kwangu-10 ayethembisene umshado athi aqala ukungabaza isinqumo sawo lapho nje imiyalezo yokuhalalisela iqala ukungena. Imibuzo enjengokuthi, “Ingabe ngempela uyashada?”, “Uyamshada?” noma “Uqinisekile ngalokhu?” ubuzwe abangani nomndeni kungakhuphula amazinga akho okukhathazeka ngempela.

Ekugcineni, le mibuzo ifika kuwe futhi ukungabaza kuqala ukuphenduka ukwesaba, futhi ekugcineni, ukudabuka kungena engqondweni yakho.

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2. Noma yini ingase ingahambi kahle emcimbini womshado

Njengoba uMonica ovela ku -FRIENDS ake asho, “Bengilokhu ngihlela lokhu kusukela ngineminyaka engu-12”. Yileyo ndlela olubaluleke ngayo lolu suku kumakoti amaningi. Yilapho abahleli bomshado bengenelela khona. Nakuba abahleli bomshado bengakwazi ukusingatha ingxenye yalo, iningi lezinqumo okufanele zenziwe lisaxhomeke ezinqumweni zombhangqwana.

Ngakho-ke, ukuchezuka kancane kulo lonke uhlelo kungadala umonakalo emqondweni womlobokazi. Ngezinga okungena ngalo ukucindezeleka.

3. The Bridal look ukukhathazeka

Imidlalo yethelevishini ku-bridal couture kulezi zinsuku ikwenza uzizwe uqaphela kakhulu ngokubukeka kwakho, ikwenza ukholwe ukuthi ngaphandle kokuthi ube nalokho kushintshwa kochwepheshe, ngeke ubukeke umuhle kakhulu. Kudingeka inani elikhulu lokuqinisekisa kwabaseduze kwakho ukuze uzizwe wanelisekile ngokubukeka kwakho, ngisho nangemva kokuba usudlule kuyo yonke inqubo.

Kusukela okhalweni lwakho kuya ezinweleni zakho, amazinyo nebala, yonke into iqala ukukukhathaza ngokubukeka kwakho ku-albhamu yomshado. Akumangazi ukuthi izinkinga zesithombe somzimba zingaholela ekucindezelekeni ngaphambi komshado.

4. Ukukhathazeka ngomshado

Ngokushesha nje lapho usuthembisene umshado, unezinhlobo ezimbili zabantu abakufisela okuhle, labo abazokunikeza isithombe senjabulo naphakade (ubukhulu baleli qembu ngeke bube yinto enganakwa), kanye nabanye abazoba nenqwaba yezeluleko zomshado kuwe. Iningi lalezi zeluleko lizoqhubeka nokuthulula ngendlela esedlule iphathi yakho ye-bachelorette.

Ngakho, ungahlosile, uqala ukuba nokukhathazeka ngawo wonke umqondo womshado, okuzokwenza ukhathazeke. Uqala ukungabaza ukuthi umlingani wakho nowakho bayimpahla yomshado ephelele.

5. Ukwesaba ukuzivumelanisa nomshado ngemuva

Kungakhathaleki ukuthi umbhangqwana usunesikhathi esingakanani sazana, lonke ushintsho olushintshayo lwezenhlalo ngemva komshado. “Ingabe umndeni womyeni wami uzongamukela?” Kulapho-ke eqala khona ukuhlaziya izinto okufanele aziguqule, izinto azimisele ukuzishintsha, nezinto angasoze azishintsha.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uvela kuyiphi ingxenye yomhlaba, lokhu kuhlaziya kanye nokwesaba ushintsho kuhlale kusabisa kumakoti. Ngisho noma unobuhlobo obuhle nabasemzini wakho , kusekhona ukukhathazeka okuncane ngokuthi uzozwana kanjani nawo wonke umuntu.

Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Zokulwa Nokucindezeleka Ngaphambi Komshado

Nakuba i-blues yangaphambi komshado ingase ibonakale sengathi izokushiya ungakwazi ukwenza noma yini, izinkathazo eziningi zomshado zingasuswa ngezixazululo ezisebenzayo. Imvamisa, lowo ngumsebenzi wempelesi, uma ube nenhlanhla yokuthola ephumelelayo. Noma-ke umakoti kumele asibambele ngokwakhe lesi simo ngaphambi kokuthi singalawuleki.

Uma njengamanje uzithola uzama ukubhekana ne-bridal blues, zitshele ukuthi uqine ngokwanele ukuba udlule kulokhu, futhi qhubeka ufunda ukuze uthole ukuthi kufanele.

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1. Phefumula bese uzama ukuzehlisa

Uma kubhekwa uhlobo lwemicabango efika engqondweni yakho njengamanje, lesi seluleko sokubhekana nokucindezeleka kwangaphambi komshado singase sibonakale njengolwazi olungenamsebenzi. Ungasheshi ukwahlulela, zama izivivinyo zokuphefumula ezimbalwa bese uzama ukuzehlisa.

Kufanele ufunde ukukhanyisa. Yenza noma yini edingekayo ukuze ujabule, ngisho noma kusho ukudla u-ayisikhilimu owuthandayo. Ubuso bakho obujabule obujabule buzophambukisa ukunaka okhalweni lwakho, uma kuyilokho okukukhathazayo. Kuphela uma uzolile, ungakwazi ukucabanga ngokunengqondo futhi uxazulule noma iyiphi inkinga.

2. Yamukela ukuthi ubhekene nesimo sokucindezeleka kwangaphambi komshado noma ukukhathazeka

Ngaphandle kokuthi ubhekane ubuso nobuso nemicabango yakho futhi wamukele ukuthi ubhekene nesimo esinzima sokucindezeleka ngaphambi komshado, uzozama ukubalekela izinkinga zakho zempilo yengqondo . Nakuba kungafanele uzihlole ngamagama anjengokuthi “ukukhathazeka” noma “ukucindezeleka,” yamukela iqiniso lokuthi unemicabango engakhululekile futhi ukhathazekile ngayo yonke into.

Lapho ufika ngokushesha ekuboneni ukuthi udinga usizo nokuthi udinga ukwenza okuthile ngalokhu, yilapho uzokwazi ukwenza okuthile ngalokho obhekene nakho.

3. Bhala phansi okuhle nokubi

Uma uke wangabaza isinqumo sakho sokushada, mane ubhale phansi wonke amaphuzu akukhathazayo. Bese ubona ukuthi zingaki ezingaxazululeka nokuthi yiziphi izinketho zakho. Uma uthembekile kuwena, akukho okungakuvimba ekwenzeni isinqumo esifanele.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma usuqale ukubeka yonke into phansi, uzobona ukuthi izinto eziningi okhathazeke ngazo zonke izinto ongeke ukwazi ukuzilawula. Cishe wonke umuntu onokukhathazeka kwangaphambi komshado uvame ukukhathazeka ngezinto abangakwazi ukulawula umphumela kuzo, ngakho ingabe ukukhathazeka ngazo kuwufanele ngempela?

4. Zikhumbuze ukuthi kungani ushada

"Ngabe ngenza into efanele?", "Ingabe umlingani wami nguyena wami?" yonke imicabango okumele ingene engqondweni yakho ngaphambi kosuku lomshado. Uma kufika le micabango ekhathazayo, kubalulekile ukuthi uzikhumbuze ukuthi kungani unqume ukwenza lokhu kwasekuqaleni.

Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho uqala ukuba ne-jittery ngokubukeka kwakho noma enye inkinga ephathelene nomshado, vele uphefumule futhi ukhumbule ukuthi umlingani wakho uzimisele ukukushada, ngokuba nguwe. Ngaphandle uma kunenhlekelele yemvelo, akukho okungamosha usuku kuwe.

5. Akukho okungahamba kahle, futhi lokho kulungile

Ingabe kubonakala sengathi yonke into iyahlakazeka? Sengathi akukho okuhamba ngendlela obucabanga ukuthi kuzokwenzeka ngayo? Futhi ukuthi konke ukuphazamiseka okuncane kushintsha ngokuphelele iqiniso lokuthi ubucabanga ukuthi izinto zizohamba kanjani? Yehlisa umoya, kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu.

Yonke imikhuba nemikhosi izophela maduze futhi impilo izophinde ibe yinto evamile, ngakho yeka ukucindezeleka. Yamukela ukuthi impilo ayisoze yaba yinto emnandi kunoma ubani. Kuzoba nobunzima nobunzima, kodwa maduze nje uzoba nomngane wakho womphefumulo ozokwabelana naye ngalezi zikhathi.

6. Zama ukuba nethemba

Yebo, impilo izoshintsha ngemva komshado, kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kuzoba kubi. Zahamba lezo zinsuku lapho abasekhweni babenonya njengoba kusikiselwa izinsipho zansuku zonke. Kukho konke okwaziyo, impilo ingaba yintokozo emsulwa futhi ungase ube nenganekwane ngokujabulisayo njalo ngemva kwalokho. Uma konke okwenzayo kuwukugcizelela ngokuzenzakalelayo ngezimo ezizolimaza usuku lwakho lomshado, zama ukugxila ezintweni owaziyo ukuthi zizohamba kahle.

Umyeni wakho ozoba maduze uzokhanyisa umzuzu nje ekubona. Bonke abangani bakho nomndeni wakho bazojabula kakhulu ngawe, futhi usuku lonke luyoba umgubho wothando lwakho. Ungagxili ekushintsheni kokuhlelwa kwezimbali ngomzuzu wokugcina ozondayo, bheka ezintweni owaziyo ukuthi zizohamba kahle.

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7. Ungawafihli ama-blues akho angaphambi komshado kubantu obathandayo

Kungakhathaliseki zonke izeluleko ezesabekayo ozithola emndenini nakubangane, khumbula ukuthi awusoze wasala wedwa. Okokuqala nje, uzoba nomyeni ozokuqondisa kuzo zonke izinguquko ezintsha ezikuzungezile. Bese uba nomndeni wakho oseduze njengohlelo lokusekela futhi.

8. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Ukucindezeleka ngaphambi komshado wakho kungagcina kukuthumele endaweni emnyama, ongase ungakwazi ukuphuma kuyo ngaphandle kosizo lochwepheshe. Ngisho noma lokho akunjalo okwamanje, ukukhuluma nomeluleki kuyokusiza ukuba uqonde ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngale ndlela.

Uma okwamanje ubhekene nalokho osola ukuthi kungaba ukucindezeleka kwangaphambi komshado, iBonobology inabeluleki abaningi abanolwazi abangathanda ukukusiza udlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima.

Ungawunaki ama-blues akho omshado, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ungawavumeli antshontshe ukuduma kwakho. Uma ubona ukuthi lokhu obhekene nakho akukona ukudabuka noma ukwethuka kwesikhashana, ungazami ukukushutheka ngaphansi kwengubo. Ngokushesha uzithola esimweni somqondo esingcono, yilapho uzokwazi ukujabulela usuku lwakho lomshado.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.