Ukusondelana Ngokocansi: Incazelo, Izinzuzo kanye Nezindlela Zokuthuthukisa

Emkhakheni wokuxhumana kwabantu, ukusondelana ngokocansi kuma njengesisusa esinamandla, esikwazi ukweqa umzimba nje kanye nokukhulisa izibopho ezijulile zomzwelo. Ngaphandle kwentokozo nje, kuhlanganisa ukuveza ngokungesabi izifiso zethu ezijulile, ukusungula indawo engenakwahlulela yokuba sengozini, nokwangana imizimba yomunye nomunye. Ubudlelwano bocansi obuqinile busebenza njengomgudu wokuguqula, ukhulise ukwamukelwa, isifiso, nokuthakaselwa, ngaleyo ndlela bakhe isisekelo sobambiswano olunempilo. 

Uma usuqonda ukusondelana ngokocansi, okusho ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni, uzobona ukuthi ucansi ludlala indima ebalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuhlala njalo. Masiqonde ukubaluleka kokusondelana ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni nemininingwane evela kumqeqeshi wobudlelwano nobudlelwano Shivanya Yogmayaa (egunyazwe emhlabeni jikelele ezindleleni zokwelapha ze-EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT), ogxile ezinhlotsheni ezahlukene zokwelulekwa kwabashadile.

Kuyini Ukusondelana Ngokocansi?

UShivanya ugcizelela ukuthi ukusondelana okuhle ngokomzimba ebudlelwaneni kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ngoba kukwenza uzizwe wamukelekile, ufiswa, futhi unconywa. Kungasiza futhi ukulinganisa impilo yakho yengqondo. Ukusondelana ngokocansi kuhlanganisa:

• Ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo: Ukusondelana ngokobulili kuhilela ukuveza izifiso namaphupho ngokukhululekile, okuthuthukisa isibopho esijulile esingokomzwelo ngaphandle kokuxhumana ngokomzimba.
• Inkulumo engesabi: Ozakwethu bakhuluma ngezidingo zabo zocansi ngaphandle kokwahlulela, benza indawo eyamukelekayo nengelona amahloni
• Ukuba sengozini kanye nokwelashwa: Ukusondelana kukhulisa ubungozi, okuvumela ozakwethu ukubhekana nokuhlukumezeka okwedlule ndawonye, ​​okuholela ekwelapheni okufanayo
• Ukuhlola okufanayo: Ukuqonda umehluko phakathi kokwenza uthando vs ucansi kuyadingeka lapha. Ozakwethu babelana ngokukhululekile ngezifiso zabo zocansi, bakhe ukuxhumana okuyingqayizivele nomuzwa wokuthakasela
• Isibopho esihlala njalo: Ukusondelana ngokocansi kuyisihluthulelo ekuqiniseni futhi ukuqinisa isibopho phakathi kombhangqwana kanye nokudala ubudlelwano obuqinile, obuhlala njalo ngokuthembana, ukuqonda, nokwanelisa

U-Shivanya uyanezela, “Ukusondelana ngokocansi, okusho ukuthi ukhululekile ukuzama nokuhlola okuthile okusha, kwenza bobabili abalingani bazizwe bekhululekile ukuhlola amaphupho abo. kuthintwa.” 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu angu-11 Ochwepheshe Wendlela Yokwandisa Ukusondelana Ngomzimba Ebudlelwaneni

Ukuthi Ukusondelana Ngokocansi Kubuthinta Kanjani Ubudlelwano

Ukusondelana ngokocansi kusebenza njengento enamathelayo enamandla ebudlelwaneni, ebopha abalingani ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. Kugxilisa imizwa yokwamukela, isifiso, nokwaneliseka, kuhlakulele ukuxhumana okujulile okuqinisa isibopho sabo. Ngokusho kuka-a cwaningo, izici ezingokomzwelo nezocansi zokusondelana ebuhlotsheni bothando ziyizimpawu ezibalulekile zokwaneliseka kobudlelwane bombhangqwana. Akusona isimo socansi vs ukusondelana. Ngayinye iveza isici esihlukile kodwa esixhumene sobudlelwano, kodwa zombili zibaluleke ngokulinganayo.

UShivanya uyanezela: “Ngaphandle kokuletha izinzuzo ezihlukahlukene zempilo kubo bobabili abantu ngabanye, ukukhulisa ubuhlobo bobulili kusiza ubuhlobo bombhangqwana buchume ngokusondelana, ukwaneliseka, nomuzwa ofanayo wokwaziswa nokufunwa. Lokhu kugcwaliseka kuzala ukuzethemba emzimbeni womuntu futhi kuthuthukisa ubungqabavu, kube nomthelela omuhle ekusebenzelaneni nabanye.

Bobabili ubulili bazizwa ngendlela ehlukile - abesifazane bazizwa becwile othandweni, kuyilapho amadoda ethola umuzwa wokufeza okuthile ngokwanelisa abalingani babo. Lokhu kugcwaliseka okwabiwe kudlulela ngalé kwendawo yomuntu siqu, kuthonya ukusebenzelana kwabo ngisho namakhono obuholi. Ngakho-ke, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nasocansini kuba yizisusa zokuchumana kanye a ubuhlobo obunempilo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izivumo Eziyi-11 Zabantu Abashadile Ngokuthi Bayeke Ukuya Ocansini

Izinzuzo Zokusondelana Ngokocansi

“Ubulili bufana nesithambisi esigcina ubuhlobo buhamba njengomshini ogcotshwe kahle ngokuthuthukisa inhlalakahle engokomzimba nengokomzwelo yabalingani ngokulinganayo,” kuchaza uShivanya. Kunikeza bobabili abalingani ukuzethemba ukuthi bangathembela komunye nomunye, kubenze bazizwe belondekile ebuhlotsheni babo. Ozakwethu nabo bazizwa sengathi kunokuthile abangakulangazelela uma behlangene. Lapho ukusondelana ngokobulili kunganelisi, uthando, ukunakekela, nokuthinta nakho akwanelisi. Ezimweni ezinjalo, bobabili bazizwa bengaphephile ebudlelwaneni.

Lapho abantu ababili bengazizwa bephephile ebudlelwaneni babo, bangase bangakhululeki. Kodwa kulokhu, ukuthinta ngokomzimba kungasebenza njengolimi lothando. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuthinta kothando kukhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi. Ngokuthintana ngesisa, abalingani bangenza omunye nomunye azizwe ephephile futhi efiseleka. Kuvula isikhala sokuningi ebudlelwaneni. Izinzuzo zokusondelana ngokocansi zidlulela ngale kwezici ezijabulisayo futhi zihlanganisa: 

1. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okuthuthukisiwe

Ukuzibandakanya ocansini kukhuthaza ukusondelana okujulile ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabalingani. Ukukhishwa kwe-oxytocin, evame ukubizwa ngokuthi 'i-hormone yothando', ngezikhathi zokusondelana ngokomzimba kukhuthaza imizwa yokwethembana, uthando, nokunamathela, okuqinisa isisekelo somzwelo sobudlelwane. Uzozizwa usondelene nesithandwa sakho uma wenza ucansi olusondelene kakhulu. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Umthelela Womshado Ongenazo Ubulili Kumyeni - Izindlela Eziyisi-9 Ezimthatha Kanzima

2. Ukwehliswa kwengcindezi

Ukusondelana ngokocansi kungaba isidambisi sokucindezeleka esingokwemvelo. Uma uku-a ubudlelwano obungenabulili, kuthinta amazinga okucindezeleka ekuphileni. Ubuhlobo obuseduze bubangela ukukhululwa kwama-endorphin, amakhemikhali omzimba azizwa ejabule, angasiza ekunciphiseni amazinga okucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, okuholela kumqondo wokuphumula kanye nenhlalakahle jikelele. 

3. Ikhwalithi yokulala ethuthukisiwe

Ngemva kwezikhathi zokusondelana ngokocansi, umzimba ukhipha ihomoni ebizwa ngokuthi i-prolactin, ehlotshaniswa nemizwa yokuphumula nokulala. Lokhu kungaholela ekuthuthukisweni kwekhwalithi yokulala kanye nokuzola, kuthuthukise impilo engokomzimba neyengqondo yozakwethu bobabili.

4. Amasosha omzimba angcono

Kunezinzuzo ezimbalwa zezempilo zokuba nempilo enhle yocansi. Izifundo basikisela ukuthi ukuhlanganyela ubulili njalo kungathuthukisa isimiso somzimba sokuzivikela ezifweni. Yandisa ukukhiqizwa kwe-immunoglobulin A (IgA), i-antibody esiza ukuvikela umzimba ezifweni, okwenza abantu bangangenwa kalula yizifo. Ngokusho kwalokhu ucwaningo, abesifazane abenza ucansi babhekana nengozi ephansi yezenzakalo zenhliziyo kamuva ekuphileni. 

I-5. Ukuphumula ubuhlungu

Ukukhululwa kwama-endorphin ngesikhathi sokusondelana ngokobulili akugcini nje ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka kodwa futhi kusebenza njengesidambisi sobuhlungu bemvelo. Lawa makhemikhali angasiza ekudambiseni ikhanda, amajaqamba, nezinye izinhlobo zokungakhululeki ngokomzimba. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uyafuna Ukukhuluma Nonkosikazi Wakho Ngokuntula Ukusondelana? Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Zokukwenza

6. Ukwandisa ukuzethemba

Ukuxhumana kwezocansi okwanelisayo nozakwenu nakho kungakusiza uzizwe ungcono ngawe. Kodwa ukwenqatshwa ngokocansi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingaba nomphumela ophambene. UShivanya uthi, “Okuhlangenwe nakho okuhle ocansini nomuzwa wokwamukeleka kumuntu othandana naye kungaba nomthelela omkhulu ekuzethembeni nasekubukekeni komzimba. 

7. Ukushiswa kwekhalori

Ukusondelana ngokocansi kungaba uhlobo lokuzivocavoca umzimba, ukushisa ama-calories futhi kube nomthelela ekuthuthukiseni impilo yenhliziyo nemithambo yegazi. Nakuba kungase kungathathi indawo yesimiso sokujima esivamile, kungase kuhambisane nendlela yokuphila esebenzayo. 

8. Ukwaneliseka ebuhlotsheni

Ukuxhumana okwanelisayo ngokocansi kuvame ukuhumushela ekwanelisekeni kobudlelwane. Ukuxhumana okuvulekile mayelana nezifiso nokuthandwayo kukhuthaza ukwethembana, ukuqonda kanye nomuzwa owanelisayo wokwaneliseka, okukhuthaza ubudlelwano obunempilo nobuhlala isikhathi eside. Ingenye ye amagugu abalulekile ebudlelwaneni. Ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, bobabili abalingani kufanele babe nokuthintana okwanele ngokomzimba kanye nokuzijabulisa ngokocansi. Ngaphandle kokusondelana ngokomzimba, impilo yobudlelwano izohlupheka. 

Amathiphu Okuthuthukisa Ukusondelana Ngokocansi

Ukusondelana ngokocansi kuwuhambo oludinga umzamo, isineke, nokuzimisela ukukhula ndawonye. Ngokukhulisa ukuxhumana kwakho nokwamukela ukuba sengozini, ungakha ubudlelwano bocansi obugculisayo nobunothando nomlingani wakho.

Ukuthuthukisa ukusondelana ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni kudinga ngokusobala ukukhuluma ngemizwa nomlingani wakho, ukwethembana, nokuzimisela ukuhlola nokuxhumana nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Nawa amanye amathiphu okuthuthukisa ukusondelana ngokocansi:

1. Ukuxhumana kubalulekile

Ukuqinisekisa a umshado ophumelelayo noma ubuhlobo, khuluma ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka nomlingani wakho mayelana nezifiso zakho, izidingo, kanye nemingcele. Dala indawo ephephile lapho nobabili nizizwa nikhululekile ukuveza imicabango nemicabango yenu. U-Shivanya uncoma amathiphu alandelayo okuxhumana okucacile ukuze uthuthukise umuzwa wakho wocansi:

• Vula inkhulumomphendvulwano: Khulisa ukusondelana kocansi okungcono ngezingxoxo ezithembekile mayelana nezifiso, imingcele, namaphupho
• Ukulalela okusebenzayo: Gxilisa ukuxhumana kwakho ngokulalela izidingo zomlingani wakho kanye nalokho akuthandayo ngaphandle kokwahlulela
• Izimpawu ezingezona zamagama: Thuthukisa ukusondelana ngokunaka ulimi lomzimba nokusabela, ukuphendula ngendlela enembile
• Isikhathi nokusetha: Khetha izikhathi ezifanele nezilungiselelo ezinethezekile zezingxoxo eziseduze, uqinisekise ukuthi bobabili ozakwethu bakhululekile
• Impendulo esuka ku: Shintshanisa njalo impendulo ukuze ucwenge futhi uhlole ulwazi olusha, uthuthukise ukuxhumana okwanelisayo nokuthuthukayo

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyisi-7 Ongazitsheli Umuntu Ngocansi Lomshado

2. Beka kuqala ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo

Ukwakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala kuqinisa isibopho ngaphakathi kwalo. Hlanganyeni ezingxoxweni ezizuzisayo, chithani isikhathi esihle ndawonye, ​​futhi nibonise uthando nokwazisa ngomunye nomunye njalo. U-Shivanya uncoma ukuvivinya ukusondelana ngokocansi njengokusebenzisa amakhadi okusondelana. Imidlalo efana nale ingasiza ekuvuleni, ikakhulukazi uma nisanda kuhlanganyela. Lawa makhadi adlalayo anikezelwe kunkanuko kanye nocansi lwabo bobabili abalingani basiza noma ngabe umlingani oyedwa uyanqikaza ukuveza izimfuno nezifiso zabo. Ngisho ukuthinta okungezona ezocansi kusiza kakhulu ekukhuthazeni lokhu kusondelana.

3. Hlolani imicabango yomunye nomunye

Ukuze uthole ukusondelana okujulile kwenkanuko, kubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abalingani bazizwe bekhululekile futhi bekhululekile. Vulani nizame izinto ezintsha futhi nihlole amaphupho ocansi omunye nomunye. Lokhu kungangeza injabulo kanye nobusha ezenzweni zakho zocansi, kujulise ukuxhumana kwakho. Ukuthi umlingani wakho ufisa ukuzama izindlela ezihlukene noma ukusebenzisa amathoyizi ocansi nezinsiza ukuze anonge izinto, jabulela amaphupho akhe. Lokho kuyisihluthulelo sokuthuthukisa ukusondelana ngokomzimba ebudlelwaneni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: I-Intimacy Anorexia, Izimbangela, Nomthelela Ebudlelwaneni Bothando - Nezindlela Zokubhekana Nakho

4. Gxila ku-foreplay

Chitha isikhathi ku-foreplay ukuze wakhe ukulangazelela nokuvusa inkanuko. Lokhu kungakhulisa injabulo futhi kudale ubudlelwano bocansi obanelisayo futhi ukusondelana ngokomzimba kubo bobabili abalingani. Ungazama ezinye izivivinyo zokusondelana ngokocansi noma uzame ukufeza imicabango yocansi yomunye nomunye embhedeni. 

Nazi izivivinyo ezimbalwa ezingasiza:

• I-Desire mapping: Umlingani ngamunye udala uhlu lwezifiso namaphupho akhe ngokwehlukana. Bobabili bese bebelana futhi baxoxisane ngokukhululekile ukuze bahlole izithakazelo ezifanayo
• Ukuhlola kwezinzwa: Vala amehlo umlingani oyedwa futhi usebenzise ukwakheka okuhlukahlukene, amazinga okushisa, nemizwa ukuze ukhulise ukuqwashisa nokwakha ukwethembana
• Ukulingisa: Linga ngezimo zokulingisa, ukhuthaza imibono emisha futhi uvuse uthando olusha
• Ukuphefumula kwe-tantric: Bamba iqhaza ekuphefumuleni okuvunyelanisiwe ngesikhathi sokusondelana ukuze ujulise ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, ukukhuthaza umuzwa oqine kakhudlwana.

5. Qaphela futhi ube khona

Ucansi kanye nemizwa kuxhumene ngokujulile futhi kuthinta ubudlelwano obuseduze. Gxila kumzuzu futhi ube khona phakathi nokuhlangana kwakho okuseduze. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze ubudlelwano buphumelele. Susa iziphazamiso futhi uzivumele ukuzibandakanya ngokugcwele kokuhlangenwe nakho. Zinike isikhathi sokuhlola umzimba womlingani wakho. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube lula futhi ukuxazulula noma yiziphi izinkinga ezithinta ubulili uma zifika.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Ezi-5 Zokuzivocavoca Nokufaneleka Zithuthukisa I-Sex Drive Yakho

6. Nakekela impilo yakho

Inhlalakahle engokomzimba idlala indima ebalulekile ebudlelwaneni bobulili. Impela, ucansi lunezinzuzo ezimbalwa zezempilo, kodwa ukukhuluma nakho kuyiqiniso: ukuba nempilo kubalulekile empilweni enhle yocansi. Nawa amathiphu ambalwa angakusiza ugcine impilo enhle:

• Ukuzivocavoca okuvamile: Zibandakanye ekuzivocavoceni ukuze uthuthukise impilo yenhliziyo nemithambo yegazi, ugcine isisindo, futhi uqinise amandla ewonke, kube nomthelela omuhle emandleni ocansi. Ungazama nokuzama ukujima kwezithandani ukusondelana ngokocansi kuphelelise uhlelo lwakho lokufaneleka
• Ukudla okulinganiselayo: Yidla ukudla okunomsoco, njengezithelo, imifino, amaprotheni anomzimba, nokusanhlamvu okuphelele, okugqugquzela ukulingana kwama-hormone nokujikeleza okufanele.
• Ukulala okwanele: Beka kuqala ukulala kwekhwalithi ukuze uthuthukise isimo sengqondo, unciphise ingcindezi, futhi usekele ukukhiqizwa kwamahomoni anempilo. Lokhu kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yocansi
• Ukulawula ingcindezi: Zijwayeze izindlela zokuphumula ezifana nokuzindla, i-yoga, noma ukuphefumula okujulile ukuze unciphise amazinga okucindezeleka angavimbela ukusebenza kocansi.
• Ukuxhumana okuvulekile: Xoxa ngezinto ezithinta impilo nomlingani wakho kanye nabasebenzi bezempilo, nilungise noma yiziphi izinkinga ezithinta impilo yezocansi ngokushesha

7. Zihlole ngenkanuko 

Kunezindlela eziningana zokujulisa ukusondelana ngokomzimba ukuze kuthuthukiswe ukusondelana ngokomzimba. Dala i-impromptu ebusuku ekhaya futhi uhlole izenzo zocansi ezingaphezu kocansi, njengokubhucungwa okuvusa inkanuko, ukuqabula, noma ukugeza ndawonye. Le misebenzi ingakhuthaza umuzwa ojulile wokusondelana nokuxhumana. Ukuzama izinto ezintsha ekamelweni kuzokwenza isenzo esiseduze sigcwaliseke futhi siqinisekise ukuzijabulisa okuhlangene. 

8. Funa usizo lochwepheshe uma kudingeka

Izinkinga ezihlobene nokusondelana ngokocansi zingavela noma nini kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi senibe ndawonye isikhathi eside noma nisesigabeni sokuqala sokuthandana. Ukuxhumana ocansini okungagculisi kungase kuphazamise ezinye izici zobudlelwano, kuhlukanise abalingani. 

Uma wena noma umlingani wakho nibhekana nezinselele ezihlobene nokusondelana ngokocansi, cabanga ngokufuna isiqondiso kumelaphi wocansi noma umeluleki. Bangakusiza ubone umnyombo wenkinga futhi bakuhlomise ngamathuluzi adingekayo ukuze uyinqobe. Uma ufuna usizo, ochwepheshe bezempilo yezocansi abanamakhono nabanolwazi Iphaneli yeBonobology zilapha kuwe. 

Ukusondelana ngokocansi, isici esibalulekile sokuxhumana kwabantu, kudlulela ngalé kokuzijabulisa ngokomzimba, okuhlanganisa uthando lobulili kanye nezinhlobonhlobo zezinkulumo ezisondelene ezithuthukisa ubudlelwano. Uma usazibuza, “Kungani ucansi lubaluleke kangaka ebudlelwaneni?”, kungenxa yokuthi, phakathi kwezinye izinto, ubudlelwano bocansi obunempilo bungathuthukisa impilo yengqondo yabo bobabili abalingani bocansi. 

Kodwa-ke, imiphumela yokuntula ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni ingaba yingozi, iholele ekubeni kude nemizwelo kanye nokungasebenzi kahle kwezocansi okungaba khona. Ngokubona ukubaluleka kwezinhlobo ezahlukene zokusondelana kanye nokubhekana nezindaba zokusondelana ngokobulili ngokunakekela nangokuqonda, imibhangqwana ingahlakulela isibopho esijulile nesanelisayo, ithuthukise ubuhlobo bayo kanye nezinga lempilo lilonke.

Izizathu Ezingu-5 Ezenza Ukusondelana Phakathi Kwabashadikazi Kufiphale nokuthi Ungakuvimba Kanjani

Uyafuna Ukukhuluma Nonkosikazi Wakho Ngokuntula Ukusondelana? Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Zokukwenza

Izizathu Eziyi-15 Zangempela Zokuthi Umkakho Agweme Ukusondelana

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

Bheka Inqubo Yethu Yokuhlela

Hlangana Nebhodi Lethu Lokubuyekeza

Yabelana Ngempendulo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Eziwusizo Bika Iphutha Izincwajana zemininingwane

Hambisa