Ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni ngokungangabazeki kungenye yezinto ezidumaza kakhulu emhlabeni. Eqinisweni, ngingahamba ngize ngiphikisane ngokuthi lo muzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni obuseduze ubuhlungu kakhulu kunobuhlungu benhliziyo. Lapho ubudlelwano buphela, okungenani kuba khona ukuvuma okuqotho kokuthi uphelelwe uthando nomuzwa wokuba isiphetho.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, imizwa yokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ikwenza uhlangabezane nokuntula uthando nokusondelana ekuxhumekeni kwakho, usuku nosuku. Kufana nokudlula kulobo buhlungu obudabula amathumbu bobuhlungu benhliziyo kaninginingi, bese uzilungiselela ukubuyela ebuhlotsheni obungagcwalisi obufanayo.
Lapho owesifazane ezizwa enganakiwe ebuhlotsheni bakhe, kungase kumenze aqiniseke ukuthi kungenxa yokuthi akakufanelekele ukuthandwa. Ngokufanayo, lapho owesilisa ezizwa enganakiwe ebudlelwaneni bakhe, angase abe nezindaba zokuzethemba. Ngokusobala, ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni kungaba nemiphumela efinyelela kude ekuxhumaneni kwakho nomlingani wakho kanye nomuzwa wakho wobumina.
Ngakho-ke, yiziphi ezinye zezimpawu ezicacile zokuthi awunakwa ebudlelwaneni? Futhi okubaluleke nakakhulu, yini ongayenza ukuze ubhekane nazo? Nansi eminye imininingwane ngezimpawu zokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni nezindlela zokubhekana nakho, ngokubonisana nodokotela wezengqondo. Adya Poojari (IMasters kuClinical Psychology, PG Diploma in Rehabilitation Psychology).
Kubukeka Kanjani Ukunganakwa Ebudlelwaneni?
Okuqukethwe
Njengoba abalingani bezothando bathola isigqi esinethezekile ekuhlanganeni kwabo, akuvamile ukuthi umzamo ebudlelwaneni ubambe iqhaza. Izimpawu zothando kanye nokuboniswa kothando kuyancipha njalo. Kodwa-ke, kuzibalo ezinempilo, lezi zinguquko azilingani nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi bobabili ozakwethu bafunda ukuguqukela ku-dynamics yabo eshintshayo futhi bathole izindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana.
Kulapho izinguquko ezishintshayo zihumusheka khona omunye umlingani ethatha omunye kalula noma kokubili ukunganaki izidingo ezingokomzwelo zomunye nomunye ezibeka ukunganakwa ebuhlotsheni. Enguqulweni kaNatalie, umfundi waseColumbia oneminyaka engu-19, “Ngemva kokuba sobabili siye ekolishi, ibanga elide lalidlala amaqhinga alo okusihlukanisa kancane kancane nsuku zonke.” Kungaleso sikhathi lapho ngathola khona izindaba zokuhlukana kwabazali bami. khuluma nami, ingasaphathwa eyokuba ngumuntu ozwelayo ngesinye isikhathi, ngangifuna ukunqamula intambo yokugcina phakathi kwethu kunokuba ngizizwe nginganakiwe ebudlelwaneni obukude.”
Ngakho-ke, uhlukanisa kanjani ukushintshashintsha kokushintshashintsha kwemibhangqwana ekuzizweni unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni? Nazi izimpawu ezi-5 zokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni okufanele uziqaphele:
1. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana
Ngokusho kuka-Adya, ukungabi nokuxhumana ingenye yezimpawu eziveza ukunganakwa ebudlelwaneni. Futhi akukhona nje ukuxhumana okwanele ngezinto ezinkulu kodwa nezinto ezincane. Uzama ukukhuluma nophathina wakho mayelana nosuku lwakho noma wabelane naye okuthile okuthakazelisayo okwenzeke emsebenzini, futhi abahlanganyeli nawe. Kuwuhlobo lwakudala lokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni.
U-Adya uthi: “Lapho umngane womshado enqaba ukuhileleka engxoxweni yansuku zonke nawe, usuke ekhipha ithuluzi elibalulekile lokwakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni.” Kancane kancane, niyoba nezinto ezimbalwa futhi ezimbalwa ongabelana ngazo, futhi ngokwemvelo lokhu kungase kukushiye uzizwe unganakiwe ebuhlotsheni bakho ngenxa yokuthi awuzizwa uzwakala, awubonwa, noma awuqashelwa,” kusho u-Adya.
Uma owesifazane ezizwa enganakiwe ebudlelwaneni, kaningi kunalokho, kungenxa yalokhu kuntuleka kokuxhumana. Imizamo yakhe yokuxhumana nomlingani wakhe ngengxoxo edutshulwa ngokuphindaphindiwe ingase ibangele ukuthi azizwe enganakwa futhi engathandwa. Izimpawu zokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni zithinta umfana ngendlela efanayo ngokukhulisa ukungavikeleki kobudlelwane bakhe.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuwohloka kobudlelwane: Izizathu ezi-5 zokuthi kungani ubudlelwano buhluleka
2. Ukukopela kuphakathi kwezimpawu zokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni
Uma ufuna izimpawu zokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bomuntu oyedwa, ukungathembeki kuyinto engenangqondo ngempela. "Lapho umlingani ephula ngamabomu ukwethemba kwakho, futhi eqondisa kabusha uthando nokusondelana okungokwakho ngokufanelekile komunye, babonisa ukunganaki ngokuphelele izidingo zakho, okulindelekile, kanye nenhlalakahle yakho. Lokho kufaneleka njengokunganaki umlingani," kusho u-Adya.
Ungase uzibuze, “Ingabe kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni ngemva kokukhashelwa umlingani wami?” Nokho, ukukhaphela ukwethenjwa nokungathembeki - kungaba ngokomzwelo, ngokwezimali, noma ngokomzimba - kunomthelela odlula kude ubudedengu. Lapha, umuntu wephule zonke izithembiso ezingcwele kanye nezibopho ayezenzile kuwe. Akekho ongakusola ngokuzizwa unganakiwe noma ushaqekile ngemva kwesigameko esifana nalesi.
Ukukopela akulona nje uphawu kodwa futhi kuwumphumela wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni. Isibonelo, lapho owesilisa ezizwa enganakiwe ebudlelwaneni, angase afune ukufeza lokho okushodayo ekuxhumaneni kwakhe okuyinhloko okuvela komunye umthombo. Indaba engokomzwelo kuwuphawu lwakudala lokunganakwa ezimweni ezinjalo.
3. Ucansi luba ngokomzimba nje
U-Lauren, uchwepheshe kwezokukhangisa oseminyakeni yama-40, uthi, “Umshado wethu ububhekene nobunzima obuthile.Umyeni wami ugxile kakhulu emsebenzini nothando lwakhe lokugibela ibhayisekili kangangokuthi bengizizwa nginganakiwe ebudlelwaneni.Enye yezingozi zokuqala zebanga elihamba phakathi kwethu kube impilo yethu yocansi.
“Uma umuntu wesifazane ezizwa enganakiwe uma eqonywa kuba nzima ukuthi axhumane nesinqandamathe sakhe naye ocansini.Yilokho nami kade ngibhekana nakho.Angisazizwa ngivuswa umyeni wami futhi ucansi seluphenduke umshikashika.Siyahamba kodwa uthando alukho noma isifiso.Umyeni wami usola ama-hormones neminyaka yami futhi akafuni ukuvuma ukuthi unezinkinga kuphela. ekamelweni nangaphandle.”
U-Adya uyavuma ukuthi lokhu kuphakathi kwezimpawu ezivamile ze ukunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. “Ubulili buyehliswa bube yindlela nje yokubhekana nesidingo esibalulekile. Lapho kunokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni, abalingani bangase baqale ukubukana njengendlela yokwanelisa ubulili.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amandla Nokubaluleka Kocansi Ebudlelwaneni
4. Izidingo ezingokomzwelo azihlangabezwana
U-Adya uveza ukuthi umuzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni nawo uphumela emuzweni ophikelelayo wokuthi izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo azihlangabezwana. Ithi, ube nosuku olunzima emsebenzini, kumane nje kungokwemvelo ukufuna induduzo kumlingani wakho, ukwabelana naye ngezinkathazo zakho, futhi ulindele ukuthi abe ihlombe lakho ongancika kulo.
Kodwa-ke, uma umlingani wakho engazinaki lezi zidingo, futhi ebhala noma yikuphi ukulindela ukwesekwa njengokubonakaliswa kokuthi unamathele noma uswele, khona-ke ungase uqale ukuzizwa unganakwa, ungathandwa, futhi ngaleyo ndlela unganakwa ngumuntu oyedwa okufanele abe yi-panacea yakho. Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi lokhu ukunganakwa kwesidingo esinamandla esingokomzwelo, umlingani wakho ukungabi nandaba nalokho okufezile kanye nokwabelana kwakho ngenjabulo nenjabulo kungase kukuqhubekisele phambili.
Uma uzizwa sengathi isoka lakho noma intombi noma uphathina wakho, ungase uthole ukuthi uyazivimba ekwabelaneni ngemicabango nemizwa yakho yangempela nabo. Futhi esikhundleni salokho, uphendukela kumuntu wesithathu - umngane, ingane yakini, noma osebenza naye - ukuze uthole induduzo ngezikhathi ezinzima. Kancane kancane, lokhu kungadla isibopho enabelana nabo, kunihlukanise nobabili.
5. Ubudlelwano obuhlangene buwuphawu lokunganakwa
Ungazizwa kanjani unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni? U-Adya uyachaza, “A ubudlelwano bohlangothi olulodwa iphakathi kwezimpawu eziveza ukunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ubabuza ngempilo yabo, bazokutshela konke ngakho futhi ubezwa ngokujabula. Kodwa uma uxoxa ngokuthile okuthandayo, abaphindiseli.”
Ngifika kuleli phuzu lezimpawu zokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni, ngikhumbula isigameko umngane ake asihlanganyela nami. Bekuwunyaka wabo wezinyanga eziyisi-6 baqala ukuthandana. Wabhaka ikhekhe likashizi alikhonzile ngokucophelela okukhulu ukugubha uthando lwabo. Kodwa impendulo ayithola yamephula inhliziyo ngaso leso sikhathi. Kusobala ukuthi wayeyingane futhi ekhombisa ukubukisa, futhi abangani bakhe babehleka kumnandi ngemuva kokwazi ngale “ntombazane enamathelayo”.
Ngokusho kuka-Adya, "Ebudlelwaneni obuhlangothini olulodwa, ushintsha njalo ukuze uvumelane nemibandela ethile kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izindleko zenhlalakahle yakho engokwengqondo noma ngokomzimba. Ngenxa yalokho, ugcina unomuzwa wokuthi nguwe wedwa owenza umzamo wokugcina ubuhlobo buqinile kuyilapho umlingani wakho ephoqelekile. Ngeke bazazise izinto ezibalulekile kuwe, kungaba izikhathi ezikhethekile ezifana nezinsuku zokuzalwa, izithembiso zokugubha usuku ngalunye noma ezinye izilimi ozenzile."
Izindlela Ezingu-9 Zokuzinakekela Lapho Uzizwa Unganakiwe Ebudlelwaneni
Into ewubuqili ngokuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni bakho ukuthi kungaba nzima ukukhomba kahle ukuthi yini engalungile ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kungenzeka ukuthi uphila nalowo muzwa oqhubekayo wokuthi ubudlelwano bakho abuzizwa njengobambiswano owanelisayo, onempilo. Kodwa uma ubuzwa ukuthi kungani, ungase uzithole usukhuluma ngamagama angaqondakali njengokuthi “akuzwakali” noma “Ngizizwa ngingelutho” noma “Ngizizwa Angishadile ebudlelwaneni".
Kuso sonke lesi sikhathi, umuzwa oqhubekayo wokunganakwa ungadla ukuzethemba kwakho, ukuzethemba kwakho, futhi ungase ukushiye ugcwele ukungazethembi nemizwa yokukhathazeka. Okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, udinga ukufunda ngokomzwelo ukuze ubone ukuthi wenziwa ukuthi uzizwe kanjani ebudlelwaneni bakho. Bese kuba nokufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni. Nazi izindlela ezingu-9 ongaqala ngazo ukwenza izinguquko ezincane ukuze ubhekane ngokuphumelelayo nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Eziyisixwayiso Umlingani Wakho Ulahlekelwa Isithakazelo Ebudlelwaneni
1. Beka imingcele yokubhekana nokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni
Kunini lapho ungazizwa unganakiwe kakhulu ebudlelwaneni? Impendulo yalo mbuzo izophinde ikunikeze imininingwane yokuthi yini ongayenza ukuze ubhekane nayo ngempumelelo. Zinike isikhashana uzihlole uma unakho beka imingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ingabe uthi 'cha' njengoba usho? Ingabe uzithola uthi 'yebo' kuyilapho UFUNA ukuthi 'cha' NGEMPELA? Ingabe uyamvumela umlingani wakho ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi athole indlela yakhe ngenxa yokugcina ukuthula nokuzwana ebudlelwaneni?
Uma kunjalo, lapho kulele impendulo yakho yokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni. Ngokungavumeli noma ubani - okuhlanganisa nomunye wakho obalulekile - ukuthi ahambe phezu kwakho. “Uma unganakiwe ebuhlotsheni bakho, udinga ukuba nemingcele futhi uzame ukuzazi. Landelela emuva esikhathini lapho wawunethezekile esikhumbeni sakho bese uhlola ukuthi ufike kanjani ephuzwini okulo. Futhi zama ukufunda kulokho okuhlangenwe nakho, "kweluleka u-Adya.
2. Bheka ubudlelwano obulindelekile
Ingabe ufuna ukulungisa ngokushesha - impendulo ecacile yokuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni? Mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuhlola ukuthi izinto ozilindeleyo ezingezona ezezwe zincane kakhulu ukuze umlingani wakho akwazi ukubhekana nazo. UCharmaine wayesebudlelwaneni obuzinzile nendoda eyayimkhanuka. Nokho, kukhona okwakubonakala kunyakazisa isikebhe sabo sobudlelwano. Lapho ezama ukuba khona kuCharmaine, kulapho uCharmaine elindele lukhulu kuye. Lokhu kwaholela ekutheni kube nokuhilizisana nokuhilizisana, uCharmaine elokhu ethi akanandaba naye.
"Ungazizwa kanjani unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni lapho umlingani wakho ekhona kuwe ngaso sonke isikhathi?" Udadewabo kaCharmaine omdala wambuza, njengoba ekhononda okweshumi nambili ezizwa engafaneleki ebudlelwaneni bakhe. Nakuba kwakunzima kuCharmaine ukukuzwa, iqiniso laliwukuthi ayekulindele okungenangqondo kwakungumsuka walo muzwa wokungafaneleki.
I-Charmaine's ayilona icala eliyingqayizivele. Izimpilo ezimatasa, ezizimele, eziqhutshwa idijithali zesizukulwane samanje senyuse izinga lokulindelwe kobudlelwane kakhulu. Sifuna ozakwethu babe abathandanayo abathandanayo, abangani bethu abakhulu, abangabangane bomphefumulo, umuntu esingabamba naye izingxoxo ezikhangayo, umuntu okhanyisa ngaso sonke isikhathi sethu esinzima. Lokhu kungaba i-oda elide kunoma ubani ukuthi alifanise. Ngakho-ke, ngezinye izikhathi, impendulo yokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebudlelwaneni ingase ilale ekulawuleni lokho okulindele ngokunengqondo.
3. Thuthukisa ikhono lokuxhumana uma uzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni
U-Adya uyeluleka, “Uma uzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni bakho, kubalulekile ukuthuthukisa ikhono lokukhuluma elikuvumela ukuba usho isimo sakho somzwelo, izidingo, kanye nalokho okulindele kumlingani wakho ngamazwi acacile nacacile.” Uma ukhetha ukuzivalela lapho uzizwa unganakiwe isoka noma intombi noma umlingani wakho, kuzonezela emizweni yakho ecindezelwe. Ngisho ukuthi awukwenzi kube lula kubo ukuthi baqonde ukuthi yini ekukhathazayo, awucabangi?”
Ezinye zezinto ezibalulekile nekhono lokukhulumisana ukuziveza, uzwela, ukugomela, ukuveza imizwa, ukusekela, nokushesha. Uma unquma ngayinye yalezi zakhi, kuvele kubikele ekuvezeni ngqo indlela ozizwa ngayo ngokugomela kodwa ngaphandle kokubeka icala noma ukujikijela izinsolo. Lezi ezinye izindlela ezilula zoku- ithuthukisa ukuxhumana phakathi kwabalingani.
Umlingani wakho angase angazi nhlobo ukuthi izenzo zakhe zikwenza uzizwe unganakiwe noma ushaywe indiva. Lokhu kungashintsha kuphela uma uqala ukuxhumana okuthembekile nokucacile. Ukwenza kanjalo kuba semqoka kakhulu uma uzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni obukude lapho amagama eyiwo kuphela okumele udlulisele isimo sakho sengqondo futhi uqonde esomlingani wakho.
4. Zibeke kuqala
Ukuzizwa udebeselele ebuhlotsheni kungase futhi kubangelwa ukuthambekela kokudela kakhulu ngawe. Imvamisa, lapho owesifazane ezizwa enganakiwe ebudlelwaneni, “kuningi engimenzele khona kanye nalo mndeni, ngadela izifiso zami kanye nezinkanuko, futhi akakangazisi ngalokho” kungesinye sezikhalazo ezijwayelekile.
Ngokufanayo, lapho owesilisa ezizwa enganakiwe ebuhlotsheni bakho, ungase uzwe imizwa enjengalena: “Bengilokhu ngizikhandla ukuze ngisinike ukuphila okungcono kakhulu futhi engikucelayo ngokubuyisela ukusekela okuncane, futhi umlingani wami akakwazi ngisho nokunikeza lokho.” Kuzo zombili izimo, umuzwa wokunganakwa usukela ekulahleni amaphupho akho, amathemba, kanye nezifiso zakho ngenxa yobudlelwano nokungaboni ukuthi umzamo ubuyiselwa ngendlela ongathanda ngayo.
Ngaphandle kokucabanga ngezimpawu zokuthi awunakwa ebudlelwaneni, wake wacabanga ujule uma ngabe kwakhiwa ngokuphelele ekhanda lakho noma umlingani wakho ubenokuthile ngakho? Bake bakukhohlisa noma bakuphoqa nganoma iyiphi indlela ukuthi udele injabulo nokuzimela kwakho ukuze nje ubahlinzekele? Udinga ukuzitholela impendulo kuqala ngaphambi kokudlulela esinyathelweni esilandelayo.
Ngakho-ke, kanjani ukubhekana nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebuhlotsheni ezimweni ezinjalo? U-Adya uyatusa, "Gcina ukuzibophezela kuwe njengomuntu oyedwa, ukuthi ubalulekile. Uyincwadi, futhi abantu empilweni yakho bangamakhasi noma okuhlangenwe nakho okukhulunywa ngakho kuleyo ncwadi."
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyi-13 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Umyeni Wakho Ekuziba
5. Qonda ukuthi yini oyidingayo ukuze uyeke ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni
UMatt, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esilulekayo, wayeqaphela kahle ukuthi umuzwa wokunganakwa wawungena ebuhlotsheni bakhe nomngane wakhe, uRussell. Wayezizwa engezwakali futhi engaqondwa ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi uRussell wazama ukukhipha noma yikuphi ukuziphendulela ngakho ngokuthi impikiswano yangempela yayiwukuthi uMatt wayehlale emhlaziya ngokwengqondo nobuhlobo babo.
Ngesikhathi exoxa nozakwabo omkhulu, uMatt waqonda ukuthi yini okwakudingeka ayenze ukuze anqamule lo mgoqo. “Ngangazi ukuthi sinenkinga, futhi ukwenqaba kukaRussell ukuvuma lelo qiniso kwamane kwenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu.” Ngakho, nganquma ukususa ukugxila enkingeni ngigxile ekuhloleni amakhambi. futhi kwasiza,” usho kanje.
Uma uzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni, okufanayo indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano kungaba yinzuzo. Khumbula ukuthi bobabili abalingani badlala indima ekuchazeni izimiso zobudlelwano. Ngakho-ke, uma isimo se-quo singakusebenzeli, yisikhathi sokushintsha izinto – kodwa ndawonye, njengeqembu.
6. Ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni? Yiba ovumelana nezimo
Ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni kubiza ukuthi uzihlole. Kukhona into engalungile ngempela kubambiswano uma umlingani oyedwa noma bobabili bezizwa bengabonwa, bengezwakali, noma bengaziswa. Ekuthatheni lolo hambo lokuzihlola ukuze uqonde kahle ukuthi yini ebangela lo muzwa, kubalulekile ukuguquguquka.
Ingabe wena nozakwenu nineshejuli eyeqanayo? Esikhundleni sokuxabana ngenxa yokungachithi isikhathi esanele ndawonye, ningavumelana ngokuhlanganyela imisebenzi embalwa yasekhaya nemithwalo yemfanelo yasekhaya eyokuphephisa isikhathi esithile sokujabulela ukuba nabo. Uma uzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide, zwakalisa kubo futhi ubone ukuthi ngabe umbono wedethi ebonakalayo njalo ngezimpelasonto kungadambisa isimo kancane.
"Uma uzama ukuzitholela ngokwakho, awukwazi ukuqala ngokuba nohlaka olumisiwe ongabheka kulo izimpendulo. Yamukela ukuthi awukwazi konke - noma ngabe kumayelana nawe noma ngobudlelwano bakho - futhi uvulele ulwazi olusha ukuze uthole izimpendulo. Ungaboshelwe emibonweni nasezindimeni ezibekwe umphakathi nezici okufanele uzifeze," kusho u-Adya.
7. Zibandakanye ezindleleni ezifanele zokubhekana nesimo
“Impendulo yokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuzwa wokunganakwa ebuhlotsheni ingatholakala kumasu noma ezindleleni zokubhekana nezimo ezifanele njengokuzivumelanisa nezimo, ukwamukela, nokuhlola, ukuze ubhekane nalomuzwa wokunganakwa okubambayo,” kutusa u-Adya. Ukuzivumelanisa nezimo kusho ukufunda ukuthuthuka ngokushintshashintsha kobudlelwano bakho. Ukwamukela kusho ukwamukela ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho buzoqhubeka nokushintsha njengoba udlula ezigabeni ezahlukene zempilo futhi ungamelani nalolo shintsho. Futhi ukuhlola kusho ukuqhubeka ubheka izindlela ezintsha zokuchaza kabusha ukuxhumana kwakho noma ukuthola izibalo ezintsha phakathi kobudlelwano bakho.
Eminyakeni emithathu edlule, inhliziyo yakho yayivame ukweqa isigqi njalo lapho ubabona ngosuku oluthile. Ungamangali uma leyo nhlansi nenjabulo kubonakala sengathi kunyamalele ndawana thize emgwaqeni. Kuzodinga umzamo omncane ohlangothini lwakho ukuze uvuselele isibopho sakho, mhlawumbe ngokubuza imibuzo eyakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye noma ukuhlanganyela emisebenzini ejabulisayo yabashadile. Ungathola njalo indlela yokubambelela othandweni lwempilo yakho!
8. Ungesabi imizwa ebuhlungu
Esinye sezizathu esenza abaningi bethu babhekane nemizwa enzima ukuthi sikulungele ukuvala, ukunganaki, noma ukusunduza noma yini esizwisa ubuhlungu noma esenza singakhululeki. Kodwa-ke, into ekhohlisayo ngemizwa ukuthi lapho uyidudula kakhulu, iphinde ivuke ngamandla.
Ingabe kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni? Yebo, njengoba ubuhlobo bukhula, ngezinye izikhathi, kungenzeka ukuthi uzizwe uthathwa kalula ngumlingani wakho. Kodwa ikusasa lalobu budlelwano manje lincike endleleni oyikhulisa ngayo le mizwa. Ingabe uyenqaba ukuwamukela ngoba kunzima kakhulu futhi wenza sengathi yonke into ijwayelekile? Noma uyazicubungula bese uzama ukuqonda ukuthi yini ekuziphatheni komlingani wakho okuhlukumeza kakhulu?
"Uma uzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni, zama ukufunda kukho futhi unikeze incazelo enhle kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho esikhundleni sokuvala ngoba kubuhlungu. Ukuzazi kanye nekhono lokuhlala nemizwa enzima kungakusiza kakhulu ekuqhubekeleni phambili nokufunda, futhi ekugcineni, ukuthatha isinyathelo esibheke empilweni enempilo, "kusho u-Adya.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 7 Amasu Okuyeka Ukulwa Ebudlelwaneni
9. Funa ukusekelwa kuchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe
Ukuthola ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Phela ubudlelwano abuhlali buhambisana futhi abukho nje endaweni engenalutho. Kusukela ekucindezelweni kwangaphandle kuya ekushintsheni imizwa ngozakwenu kuya ekubeni khona kwesondo lesithathu ebudlelwaneni, ziningi izinto ezingakushiya uzizwe unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni.
Ngezinye izikhathi, ngaphezu kweyodwa yalezi zici zingase zibe khona futhi ngokunokwenzeka zixhunywe phakathi. Uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni, kufanele ufinyelele umsuka wenkinga. Isibonelo, umzamo wokukhipha umusi ngemuva kosuku olucindezelayo emsebenzini kungenzeka uholele umlingani wakho ukuthi alale nomuntu osebenza naye, futhi manje ukucindezeleka nokuthandana kungase kubenze bangazicabangeli izidingo zakho.
Noma a ukulahlekelwa bekungashiya umlingani wakho edangele, futhi ngenxa yalokho, ayikwazi ukuxhumana nawe ngokomzwelo. Ukuqonda izimo eziyinkimbinkimbi kangaka kungaba nzima uma kakade usesimweni esintekenteke ngokomzwelo. Yilapho-ke ukusebenza nomeluleki onolwazi kungakusiza ukuba ubhekane nemizwa yakho, uhlole isimo sakho ngendlela efanele, futhi uthole umbono wokuthi yini okufanele yenziwe ukubhekana nalo muzwa wokunganakwa.
Ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni kungakwenza uzizwe uvaleleke ekuxhumaneni okungajabulisi. Akekho okufanele lokho. Ifuna usizo lochwepheshe ku Abeluleki beBonobology noma umelaphi onelayisensi angakusiza futhi ukuthi uhlaziye kangcono isimo sakho futhi uthole indlela efanele yokubhekana naso.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ukunganakwa ebudlelwaneni kungase kufike ngesimo sokunganaki ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba. Kungase kube uhlangothi olulodwa noma oluhlangene futhi. Leli banga phakathi kwabalingani ngokuvamile libangelwa ukuntula ukuxhumana, ukungathembeki, noma ukuvele baphelelwe uthando nomunye umuntu.
Isinyathelo sokuqala nesibalulekile okufanele usithathe wukufinyelela kumlingani wakho ngalokhu kukhathazeka. Uma zishiywe ebumnyameni mayelana nokucindezeleka kwakho, awusoze wafinyelela isisombululo. Zama ukugcina lokho okulindele ukuze kungameqi umlingani wakho futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, wazise ukuzethemba kwakho ukuze ungaphindeli emuva kuye ucela ukunakwa.
Uma kungejwayelekile, kungenzeka ukuthi uzizwe unganakiwe njengoba ujwayelana nomlingani wakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngisho nasebudlelwaneni obusha, umuntu angase angakwazi njalo ukunikeza i-100% yakhe futhi abonise ngaso sonke isikhathi, eshiya umlingani wakhe ezizwa enganakwa. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi sebephelelwe isithakazelo ebudlelwaneni.
Kungani Silindele Uthando Luyohlala Phakade Futhi Luyohlala Luqinile
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
