Umshado uyisibopho esikhulu. Ukuzihlanganisa nomuntu oyedwa impilo yakho yonke kuyinto enkulu futhi akuwona umsebenzi olula. Umshado ungaba isenzakalo esisodwa esibuhlungu kakhulu nesikhazimulayo ekuphileni, kodwa futhi ubuhlobo okufanele bubekezelele ezinye zezivunguvungu ezinkulu kakhulu. Nokho, naphezu kwabo bonke ubunzima, ziningi izindaba ezikhuthazayo zemishado eyasinda futhi yaba namandla nakakhulu ngemva kwesiphepho.
Kuthiwa imishado yenziwa ezulwini kodwa iqiniso limile ukuthi kumele baphile emhlabeni. Yonke imibhangqwana eshadile idlula ezigabeni ezithile - izimpi ezincane, izimpi ezinkulu, ukufuthelana kwezothando kuze kufinyelele esicongweni ngokuntula ukusondelana. Nakuba abanye bebhekana nezivunguvungu kalula, abanye babhekana nezinhlobo ezahlukene zezinkinga ezibeka imishado yabo ovivinyweni.
Ingabe umshado yinto enzima kakhulu ukubhekana nayo? Kungaba kuhle kakhulu ngoba umshado umayelana nabantu ababili abahluke ngokuphelele abavela ezizindeni ezihlukene abahlangana ndawonye ukuze babelane ngophahla olufanayo ngemva kokuba sebekhulile. Kumayelana nokuqondana nokubhekana nezilingo nezinsizi zokuphila ndawonye.
Uma sibheka osaziwayo ukuze bathole ugqozi, isihlabani esithandwayo saseHollywood uTom Hanks nonkosikazi wakhe uRita Wilson buyindaba yomshado ekhuthazayo. Lapho behlangana ngo-1984, uHanks wayeshadile ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa amakhemikhali abo ayengenakuphikwa. Eminyakeni engu-37 kamuva, umshado wabo uye wasinda ezivivinyweni zaseHollywood futhi wamelana neziqephu ezinzima eziza nanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo besikhathi eside obuhlala bubonakala. Umndeni wabo uwumndeni oxubile noHanks onezingane ezimbili zomshado wakhe wokuqala, futhi bayawenza kusebenze. Uma udidekile ukuthi ungasinda kanjani emshadweni, lona umbhangqwana ongabheka kuwo ukuze uthole ugqozi.
Kodwa mhlawumbe osaziwayo abakukhuthazi ukuzethemba. Mhlawumbe ufuna umhlahlandlela 'wokusinda emshadweni' ovela kubantu abavamile abaye babhekana nezimo ezingezinhle emshadweni, kodwa base bephuma ngemibalabala. Siyakuzwa! Nazi ezinye izindaba ezikhuthazayo zemishado eyasinda, ukuze abashadile bazi futhi bethembe ukuthi kukhona ukukhanya ekugcineni komhubhe.
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Izindaba Ezikhuthazayo Zemishado Eyasinda
Okuqukethwe
Kuthiwa uma i isikhathi se-honeymoon siyaphela, umshado wangempela uqala. Awazi ukuthi umshado ungakujikijela nini, kodwa indlela obhekana ngayo nawo nokuthi uphuma uqine kangakanani kuleso simo kusho lukhulu ngendlela umshado wakho ophumelela ngayo ngempela. Sikunikeza izindaba eziyisi-7 zemishado eyasinda ngesikhathi ibonakala isemadwaleni.
1. “Lapho silahlekelwa ingane yethu”
“Sashonelwa ingane ineminyaka emibili nengxenye, kwaba sengathi kubuhlungu ezinhliziyweni zethu futhi umkami wathwala kanzima, waphuza utshwala futhi alukho usuku lapho ephuze utshwala. Ukufa kwangishaya kakhulu kodwa kwadingeka ngiqine kumkami.
Umama nguye yedwa owayenaye. Wamphakela futhi wamsiza. Kunesikhathi emuva kweminyaka emibili kwenzeke lesi sigameko ngaze ngafuna ukuyodivosa kodwa ngehluleka. Kungemva kokuba umkami ezame ukusika izihlakala lapho ngabona khona ukuthi ngimthanda kangakanani nokuthi nganginobugovu. Ukuzibulala kwacishe kwangenza ngamnakekela, kwangenza ngaba namandla.
Saya ekwelapheni unyaka ngaphambi kokuba afunde ukubhekana nokulahlekelwa futhi wayeka ukuphuza kakhulu. Sekuyiminyaka emi-5 manje. Usequlekile. Sinengane yomfana ephile saka asikaze sithandane.”
2. “Ngesikhathi ejola”
“Wathandana nomfundi wakhe izinyanga eziyisithupha, angizange ngikuthole lokho, wagcina efikile kimi wavuma, saba nesikhathi lapho sasingakwazi nokubukana. Kodwa izinto zaba ngcono. Ukungathembeki kungenza noma kubhidlize imishado, kithina kwenza okwethu kwaba ngcono.
Senza umzamo wokukunamathela futhi wangibonisa ukuthi angaphinde athenjwa. Wagcina izwi lakhe kusukela ngalelo langa futhi ngiyajabula ukuthi angizange ngiqoqe futhi ngihambe ngephutha elilodwa alenza. Ngabona ukuthi kulula ukubamba igqubu futhi kube nzima ukuxolela. Kodwa uma isibopho somshado wenu siqinile ngempela, singasinda kuzo zonke izinkathazo. ”
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3. “Lapho ephelelwa umsebenzi”
“Kunesikhathi lapho kwaphahlazeka inkampani umyeni wami ayesebenza kuyona, ukungasebenzi kwakumenza ahlanye, abasekhweni nabazali bami babengaseki nakancane okwakumenza ahlanye nakakhulu, imadlana engangiyithola wayeyisebenzisa ezintweni ezingenamsebenzi futhi engakaze aphakamise ngisho nomunwe ukusiza endlini noma ngengane yethu. Izinkinga zomshado nemali zaziphezu kwethu.
Sachitha izinyanga sihlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa futhi sikhuluma kuphela lapho kudingeka. Wayecindezelekile kodwa wenqaba ukufuna usizo, engishaya njalo lapho ngizama ukukhuluma naye ngokuthola usizo. Kungemva kokuthola umsebenzi omusha lapho aqala khona ukuba ngcono. Ngenyanga yokuqala yomsebenzi, wayengavamile ukufika ekhaya futhi ngacabanga ukuthi lokhu kwakungenxa yethu. Ngenyanga athola ngayo umholo wokuqala, wafika ekhaya wanginika imali.
Waze wavuma ukuya kumelaphi futhi wabuyela esimweni sakhe sakudala ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa. Uma ngicabanga ngalezo zinsuku manje, ngiba nama-goosebumps. Umyeni wami uyindoda enamandla kodwa ukungasebenzi kungawisa umndeni wonke. Manje uma umuntu engibuza ukuthi ngingasinda kanjani esimweni esinzima somshado, ngibatshela ukuthi ukubekezela yikona okubaluleke kakhulu. Yiba nokholo lokuthi izinto zizoba ngcono ekugcineni.”
4. “Lapho umkami kutholakala ukuthi unomdlavuza”
“Umkami kwatholakala ukuthi unomdlavuza eminyakeni embalwa edlule.Bekunobunzima bezimali kodwa sakwazi ukudlula.Ngiyajabula ukuthi umdlavuza watholakala usaqala futhi ngiyabonga ukuthi ubenamandla anele kithi sobabili.Ngimthanda njengohlanya.
Ngicabanga ukuthi ukwelapha umdlavuza kwaba yisikhathi esinzima kakhulu somshado wethu, ngokomzwelo nangokwezimali. Bekufana nempi ebesiyilwa mihla namalanga siphuma sinqobile. Ngizwa umshado osinda emdlavuza ungasinda noma yini. Ngemva kwalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okusongela kakhulu, manje sesifunde indlela yokusinda emshadweni. ”
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5. “Lapho kudingeka sibekezelele umshado ode”
“Umkami kwadingeka ayokwenza umsebenzi wokufundisa e-Oman iminyaka emithathu, mina kwadingeka ngihlalele izingane, sasingazi ukuthi ibanga lizoba nzima kangaka. izinkinga zobudlelwano bebanga elide kungaba nzima kakhulu.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngangikukhumbula ukuba khona kwakhe ngokomzimba nokusekelwa ngokomzwelo futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwakudingeka nginakekele izingane ngiyedwa. Ngezinye izikhathi kwakukhathaza kakhulu ngokomzwelo. Iminyaka emithathu isikhathi eside. Kodwa lapho ebuya, ukuhlangana kwaba yinto emnandi kunazo zonke engake ngizazi. Ngangingakaze ngizizwe ngisothandweni. Lesi ngesinye sezindaba ezinhle kakhulu zemishado eyasinda ngoba ngangicabanga ukuthi ngase ngilahlekelwe umkami othandekayo.”
6. “Ukuzivumelanisa nezingane zomshado wakhe wokuqala”
“Umkami wathola izingane emshadweni wakhe wokuqala kwathi sesishadile, izinto azizange zibe mnandi kangako, izingane ezisanda kweva eshumini nambili azizange zingithande nakancane, umamezala wangibheka sengathi ngiyinunu, wanginika isihogo. Ukubhekana nomamezala onzima kwakuyisihloko nje sentaba yeqhwa.
Njengoba wonke umuntu wayengizonda, umkami kwakudingeka athathe uhlangothi lomndeni wakhe ngezinye izikhathi okwakungihlanyisa.
Ngangingazi ukuthi ukusebenzelana nezingane zokutholwa kungaba nzima kangaka futhi zingaba nenzondo engaka ezinhliziyweni zazo ngosingababa wazo. Ngezinye izikhathi ngangicabanga ukuthi nganginephutha esinqumweni sami sokungena kulo mshado. Kwaba ngemva kokuba ingane endala iye ekolishi lapho umfana omncane waqala ukufudumala kimi. Konke kuhle manje.”
7. “Lapho edlula enhlekeleleni”
"Ngadlwengulwa. Umzabalazo wawumubi. Kunesikhathi lapho umyeni wami wayephatheka kabi ngakho konke futhi avele angikhiphele kimina. Wahluleka ukubona ukuthi yimina oyisisulu. Abantu ababeseduze njengomakhelwane, izihlobo nabangane imbala abazange basenze kube lula. Babesihlanyisa bebuza imibuzo evusa amadlingozi futhi yonke into yayizoholela ekutheni ngempela indima yami ibe yiphi ekudlwengulweni futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngangizizwa ngingena khaxa ekudlwengulweni. umshado wawusemadwaleni.
Kodwa angazi ukuthi siwathathephi amandla okunamathela futhi waqonda ukuthi lokhu engidlule kukho kwakungihlukumeza futhi waba nozwelo. Uyindoda elungile futhi ngiyajabula ukuthi siphumelele ebunzimeni.”
Sithemba ukuthi lezi zindaba zemishado ezisinde kuzo zonke izingqinamba ziyakukhuthaza futhi zikugqugquzele. Umshado uyisibopho esinzima. Akusoze kwahamba kahle, kodwa indlela obhekana ngayo nezikhathi ezinzima iyokutshela ukuthi uphumelele kangakanani umshado wakho. Lezi zindaba ezikhuthazayo zemibhangqwana eshadile zasibonisa ukuthi uma umuntu enamandla namandla, singasinqoba isimo esinzima somshado.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Nakanjani. Awukho umshado noma ubuhlobo obungenasici ngaso sonke isikhathi. Izinkinga zizovela empilweni yakho ngabanye nasebudlelwaneni bakho ngokunjalo.
Yebo. Imishado iyisibopho esinzima futhi idinga isikhathi esiningi, ukuqonda nokubekezela. Kuzokuba nezinsuku lapho uzobe uxabene ngokuthi uzosinda kanjani emshadweni ngoba kuzobonakala kunzima. Nokho, ekugcineni kuzofaneleka.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Isikhathi sami esibuhlungu sisaqhubeka, sasithandana kodwa wangishiya washada nomunye umuntu. Bashada ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisi-6 zomshado, futhi ngemva kwezinyanga ezingu-2-3 sebehlukene manje. Manje usebuyile engicela ukuthi abuyele empilweni yami futhi angikwazi ukumamukela ngize ngiqhubeke nokwedlule.
Umakhelwane wami walahlekelwa yikho konke ngenxa yomlilo omubi, kuhlanganise nendodana yabo. Sonke sabona umshado wabo ubhidlika. Ziningi-ke izilingo emshadweni okumelwe zidlule. Kuyadabukisa.