Luyini Uthando Lwe-Agape Nendima Yalo Ebudlelwaneni Banamuhla

Uthando - igama elihle, umuzwa omuhle, lowo sonke esiye sawuzwa ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene ezimpilweni zethu. Ukunakekelwa nemizwa onayo ngoyihlo, umama wakho, isilwane sakho esifuywayo, abangani bakho, umndeni, umsebenzi, kanye nomlingani wakho - konke kuwuthando. Kodwa wazi kahle, uthando lwakho ngomunye wabo luhluke kakhulu komunye. Umbuzo uthi iyiphi kulezi ongayibiza ngothando lwe-agape? 

Kuthiwa uthando lukamama luwuthando olumsulwa. Uthando olungalindelekile, uthando lwalo olungenamibandela, uthando lomhlatshelo, lolu olubiza ngothando lwaphezulu. Ngaphezu kwazo zonke ezinye izinhlobo zothando ezikhona, uthando lwe-agape. Ingabe uthando phakathi kwabalingani ababili bothando lungalingisa lezi zimfanelo? Ingabe imibhangqwana ingafisa ukuthandana ngendlela yayo ephakeme kakhulu nemsulwa? Futhi kufanele? Ake sibhekisise uthando lwe-agape nendawo yalo ebudlelwaneni besimanje ukuze siqonde. 

Luyini Uthando lwe-Agape?

Igama elithi Agape livela esiGrekini, elithi agapē. Libizwa ngokuthi uh-gah-pay, uthando lwe-agape lusakazeka kulo lonke iTestamente Elisha ngezindlela ezahlukene. Leli gama linencazelo elula kakhulu nenhle, umongo wayo ubonakala othandweni lukaJesu ngesintu, kanye nabantwana bakhe. Ngakho-ke, laziwa nangokuthi uthando lukaNkulunkulu.

Kunezinhlobo eziningi zothando kodwa i-agape imelela uthando uJesu Kristu alubonisa kuyise nakubalandeli bakhe. Lubhekwa njengohlobo lothando oluphakeme kunawo wonke olwake lwabonakala. Lungenabugovu futhi luyazidela. I-agape uthando onalo ngomuntu ngaphandle kokulindela. Umuzwa okwenza ujabule ukuzidela, okufundisa ukungabi nabugovu futhi ubeke izidingo nobuhle bomuntu omthandayo ngaphezu kwakho.

Uthando olungenamibandela uJesu Kristu alubonisa kubalandeli bakhe, olumelwe isiphambano, lapho azidela khona ngenxa yezono zalabo ayebathanda yilo oluyi-agape. Kungaphezu komuzwa nje, kumayelana nokunakekela nokubonisa lolu thando nokunakekela ngezenzo zakho. Siyalwazi uthando lwe-agape njengothando lukaNkulunkulu, akungenxa yothando uJesu Kristu alubonisa ngomhlatshelo Wakhe. Kodwa njengoba iBhayibheli lisho, uthando lukaNkulunkulu oluhlanganisa konke nolungenamibandela ngomhlaba lwamenza wathumela iNdodana yakhe ezelwe yodwa, uJesu Kristu ukuze isisindise sonke. 

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“Ngokuba uNkulunkulu walithanda izwe kangaka, waze wanikela ngeNdodana yakhe ezelwe yodwa, ukuze yilowo nalowo okholwa yiyo angabhubhi kodwa abe nokuphila okuphakade.” (Johane 3:16, ESV) Ngokuvumelana nombono ka-Aristotle, owethulwe ephepheni elithi The Philosophy and Social Science of Agape Love ku- Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, lena ingenye yezincazelo ezithathwe ku-Agape – “Kusukela esimweni sokuziphatha okuhle, i-Essence noma i-Species yile: Uthando lwe-Agape luyimfanelo yokuziphatha lapho umuntu enikela khona ngokuzithandela nangaphandle kwemibandela ngobuhle, ngezindleko kumuntu ophayo, komunye noma kwabanye abaswele.”

Manje njengoba sikhuluma ngothando lwe-agape, kubalulekile ukwazi zonke ezinye izinhlobo zothando nokuthi yini eyenza i-agape ingahlukani kuphela kodwa uhlobo oluphakeme kakhulu lothando. 

• I-Eros: U-Eros umele uthando oluvusa inkanuko nolothando. Igama letivusa inkhanuko yathathwa ku-Eros. Kukhanga izifiso zobulili zomuntu futhi kuholela othandweni oluvusa inkanuko. Abathandanayo bayaheheka omunye komunye, bagcwalise omunye nomunye izidingo ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yothando lwenyama nocansi
•  Philia: UPhilia uchaza uthando lwakho kubangani bakho. Uthando lobungane belulokhu lubhekwa njengohlobo lothando olujabulisa kakhulu. Ngamagama alula, i-Philia iwuhlobo lothando olusiza abantu ukuba babe nesibopho phezu kwezithakazelo ezifanayo, izinkanuko, izindaba, nezinye izinto.
•  Storge: Amanye amagama eStorge angaba uthando nothando lomndeni, leyo esabelana ngayo namalungu omndeni wethu. Lolu thando kungenxa yokujwayelana nokwabelana ngegazi esikhundleni sezifiso noma izithakazelo ezihlanganyelwe. Ikunikeza induduzo nokwethemba, konke ngenxa yokujwayela, okunzima kakhulu ukukuthola kulezi zinsuku 
• I-Agape: Ngokungafani nanoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lothando okukhulunywa ngalo eBhayibhelini, lona kanye uhlobo lothando lwe-Agape alukona ukuzifunela wena. Uthando olungenamibandela, olungenabugovu, lokuzidela yilo elenza i-Agape ibe uhlobo lothando oluphakeme kakhulu olwake lwazwakala noma lwafakazelwa. Yaziwa nangokuthi i-charity. Kodwa lolu akulona uhlobo lwesisa esilwaziyo namuhla, olugxile ekuthandeni izinto ezibonakalayo. Lolu thando luphathelene nokholo, ukuzinikela, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke ukuzidela. Lona uhlobo lwangempela lwalokho esikubiza ngokuthi “uthando ngaphandle okulindelwe ebudlelwaneni" 

Izikhombo Ezibalulekile Zothando Lwe-Agape EBhayibhelini Nezincazelo Zazo

Njengoba sibonile ngaphambili, izinhlobonhlobo zothando lwe-agape zisakazwa kulo lonke iTestamente Elisha, ezimelela uthando lukaNkulunkulu ngabantwana bakhe nomyalo wakhe wokuba bathandane. Nakhu ukubheka eduze kwezinye zalezo zithenjwa kanye nencazelo yazo:

1. Umyalo wokuthandana ngaphandle kwemibandela 

UJesu wayethanda sonke isintu ngokulinganayo nangokungenamibandela. Weza ngenhloso eyodwa, inhloso yokusabalalisa ukuthula nothando. Konke ayekufuna kubalandeli bakhe kwakuwuhlobo olufanayo lothando ayenalo ngabo. Wabacela ukuba babonise uhlobo olusha lothando, uthando olungaboshiwe injabulo noma igazi. Wayefuna bathandane ngendlela efanayo naYe ebathanda ngayo bonke - ngokuzidela nangokungenamibandela, bedela futhi benze lokho okudingekayo ukuze kube nenhlalakahle nenjabulo yomunye. 

“Ngininika umyalo omusha wokuba nithandane, njengalokho nginithandile, nani nithandane.” Ngalokho bonke bayakukwazi ukuthi ningabafundi bami, uma nithandana. ( Johane 13:34-35 )

“Ngalokhu siyalwazi uthando, ukuthi yena wasibekela phansi ukuphila kwakhe, nathi sifanele ukubeka ukuphila kwethu ngenxa yabazalwane.” (Funda eyoku-1 Johane 3:16.)

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2. Uthando LunguNkulunkulu, UNkulunkulu Uluthando

“Onemiyalo yami ayigcine nguyena ongithandayo, ongithandayo uyakuthandwa nguBaba, nami ngiyakubathanda, ngizibonakalise kubo. ( Johane 14:21 , NIV )

“Mina kubo, nawe ukimi, ukuze babe munye ngokuphelele, ukuze izwe lazi ukuthi wena ungithumile, wabathanda, njengalokho ungithandile mina.” ( Johane 17:23 , NW )

Yilapho uJesu atshela khona abalandeli bakhe ukuthi uma bethandana ngendlela athanda ngayo, wayeyokwazi ukuthi bayamthanda, ikakhulukazi ngezenzo zabo zokugcwalisa umyalo wakhe. Uthi abamthandayo bayothandwa nguYise, uMninimandla onke, nangaye. Uyachaza ukuthi uhlala kuwo wonke umuntu futhi wonke umuntu uhlala Kuye futhi ukuthanda abantwana Bakhe kuwuhlobo oluphakeme kakhulu lothando Ngaye. 

3. Idili Lothando

Idili lothando liwukudla ebandleni lokuqala elibonisa ubuzalwane nobudlelwane. Kuwukudla okuvamile lapho wonke amaKristu efika ngokufanayo ukuze adle ndawonye, ​​okufanekisela ubudlelwane obuholela ebuzalwaneni nasebunyeni. “Laba bangamadwala afihliweyo emikhosini yenu yothando, njengoba bedla nani ngokungesabi, abelusi beziphakela bona; amafu angenamanzi, apheshulwa yimimoya, izihlahla ezingatheli ekwindla, ezife kabili, ezisishuliwe” (Jude 12, ESV)

Lusho Ukuthini Uthando Lwe-Agape Ebudlelwaneni?

Njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, uhlobo lothando lwe-Agape alunabugovu, kodwa noma yibuphi ubuhlobo bungazuza uma i-Agape ihambisana. Kodwa lusho ukuthini uthando lwe-agape ebudlelwaneni bothando, empeleni? Ebudlelwaneni, i-Agape ingahambisana nanoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lothando - u-Eros noma uPhilia . Futhi lapho bobabili abantu abasebuhlotsheni bekhathazekile futhi bekulungele ukuzidela ngenxa yomunye, isibopho sabo sikhula kuphela kanye nokulula kobuhlobo. Leli gama lesiGreki elilula lenza ubuhlobo mayelana nenjabulo yomunye umuntu.

Ungabona u-Agape ezinhlotsheni ezahlukene zobudlelwano , ngisho nasemkhakheni wothando. Abalingani bayanakekelana, banikela uthando lwabo ngaphandle kwemibandela, babeka izidingo zomunye nomunye ngaphezu kwezabo, futhi badela ngezindlela zabo ezincane noma ezinkulu. Uthando lwe-Agape phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane belulokhu lukhona kuze kube phakade, yilona olubabopha ezingeni eliphakeme, into engaphezu kokuqonda.

Njengoba iphepha, i-The Philosophy and Social Science of Agape Love lisho, “Umehluko Oqondile yilona: Ayikho enye indlela yothando enikela ngamabomu futhi ebiza ngamabomu ngokunikela ngamabomu, ngokuzithandela, nangokukhuthele amandla, izinto ezibonakalayo, induduzo, kanye/noma ukuphepha ngenxa yokuzuzisa omunye noma abanye. I-Agape ayihlanganyeli ngempela ubumbano olufakwe kwezinye izinhlobo zothando, yize ngokuqinisekile lungaba nobumbano njengasebuhlotsheni bokubambisana lapho ngamunye epha omunye.”

Kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, leli gama lesiGreki elilula lingabonakala lingenangqondo futhi kunzima ukulibonakalisa ebuhlotsheni. Kwesinye isikhathi abantu baqala ukunikela kakhulu egameni lothando olungenamibandela baze bakhiphe ukuzithanda ngaphandle kwefasitela bese beqala ukulahlekelwa ngokwabo. 

Uthando olunjalo lungaba ubudlelwano obuyingozi komunye noma bobabili abalingani. Izazi zengqondo eziningi ezidumile kanye nabaqeqeshi bokuphila bakholelwa ukuthi sinamandla angokomzwelo nangokwengqondo alinganiselwe nokuthi simunca amandla abantu esixhumana nabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi amahle noma amabi. Yilapho inkinga nesixazululo kulele khona.

Lapho umuntu oyedwa echitha amandla akhe amaningi kakhulu futhi engathathi lutho noma amandla amabi kuphela, ubuhlobo buqala ukwakha umfantu, ojula kuphela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kuvame kakhulu futhi uma ungayiqondi i-agape ngokuphelele, futhi uqhubeka udela omunye umuntu futhi ucindezela izidingo zakho kanye nezifiso zakho. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kwakha ukukhungatheka kwabalingani okugcina kubi ebudlelwaneni. 

Kubalulekile ukulinganisela i-agape nokuzijwayeza ukuzithanda kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano ukuze buhlale buphilile futhi buhlala isikhathi eside. Njengabantu, sonke sinezidingo okufanele sihlangabezane nazo futhi i-agape ayivimbi. Akusikho mayelana nokuzidela okungenangqondo, kumayelana nokwenza okulungile ngomuntu omthandayo, noma ngabe kunzima. Isihluthulelo lapha ukuxhumana, okubalulekile kubo bonke ubudlelwano.

5 Izimpawu Zothando Lwe-Agape Ebudlelwaneni

Uphawu lothando lwe-Agape lusuka egameni lesiGreki lasendulo elithi agapē, elaqala ngeminyaka yawo-1600s. Lokho kusho ukuthi akuwona umqondo omusha. Abantu bebelokhu benikela nge-Agape, bazi noma bengazi. Njengoba sixoxile ngenhla, kubalulekile ukulinganisa uthando lwe-agape nokuzithanda. Manje sizoxoxa ngezimpawu ezinempilo zothando lwe-agape kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Uzoqonda ukuthi i-agape ayiphathelene nemihlatshelo engenangqondo, kodwa inhlalakahle yabathandekayo bakho. Uthando olunjalo kunzima ukuluthola kodwa kufanelekile ukululwela.

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1. Ubathanda ngaphandle kwemibandela 

Akukho ukushoda othandweni lweqiniso futhi yilokho u-Agape akukhuluma ngakho – ukuthandana ngaphandle kwemibandela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izimo zinjani noma ukuthi ubhekene nobunzima obunjani, uthando lweqiniso aluphathelene nokulahla umuntu omthandayo.

Ku-sitcom edumile, i-FRIENDS , uRoss wayemthanda kakhulu uRachel ngaphambi kokuba baqale ukuthandana. Wayehlala enemizwa ngaye, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo babo bunjani futhi akazange amlahle. Uyazi ukuthi kuyi-Agape uma ubathanda ngaphandle kwemibandela ngaphandle kokulindela futhi ubathanda kuzo zonke izimo ezinhle nezimbi.

2. Ubeka izidingo zabo ngaphambi kwezakho

Njengoba sikhuluma ngabangane , uyakhumbula yini indawo lapho uRachel aphuka khona ingalo yakhe kwathi uRoss wahlala ukuze amsize alungiselele aye esibhedlela? Ngisho nalapho kwakungenye yezinsuku ezibaluleke kakhulu emsebenzini wakhe. Akazange akucabange nakancane. Ngani? Uyazi kahle impendulo. Siyazi ukuthi wayehlala ebeka izidingo zakhe ngaphezu kwezakhe. Hhayi ngenxa yokuphelelwa yithemba kodwa ngenxa yothando ayenalo ngaye. Leyo impendulo yokuthi ungamthanda kanjani ngempela umuntu othandana naye.

3. Uyababekezelela

Awusoze waphela amandla! Uthando lweqiniso alusoze lwaphela amandla. Uyakholelwa kubo, unamathela kubo, futhi uhlala ukhona nabo futhi ubasekela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini ehamba kabi, unamathela ukuze uyilungise esikhundleni sokuhamba ungenathemba. Ngoba uma usothandweni futhi uma kuwuthando lweqiniso, awusho ukuthi, “Sengikwenzile okwanele”, uhlala usukulungele ukulwa namademoni amaningi angena endleleni.

Abantu bayalwa, futhi banokungaqondi, nokuhlukana kwemibono. Kodwa uma ukholelwa ukuthi ungumuntu ohlale ekhona ukulwa eceleni komlingani wakho esikhundleni sokulwa naye; uma ukholwa ukuthi uhlezi usukuma kunokuthi uhambe uyohlala nophathina wakho, lomngani wami ungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zothando lwe-Agape. 

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4. Awubasekeli ezenzweni zabo ezimbi

Lokhu kungase kuzwakale kungqubuzana nemvelo ye-agape kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi nakuba i-Agape ishumayela ukuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela futhi ungalokothi ulahle ithemba, ayisho neze ukwenza izono noma ukwenza noma yini embi, ngisho noma kungenxa yomuntu omthandayo ngaphezu kwanoma yini. 

I-Agape iwuthando lukaNkulunkulu, futhi uNkulunkulu akalokothi asikhuthaze ukuba sihlanganyele noma sijabulele izono. Usishumayeza ukuba sijabule eqinisweni. Ukuze udambise inkinga yakho, ukungamsekeli umlingani wakho ekwenzeni into engalungile akusho ukuthi ulwile impi naye. Ubuhlobo obuhle bumayelana nokusekela umlingani wakho nokumqhubela kokulungile.

5. Unamandla okuthethelela

Ukuthethelela kungamandla amakhulu omuntu. Wonke umuntu uyawenza amaphutha, futhi wonke umuntu ufanelwe ukuxolelwa, ikakhulukazi lapho eqaphela futhi ewamukela lawo maphutha. Ukuthethelela kuwuphawu lothando lwe-Agape, uyamxolela umlingani wakho amaphutha noma amacala akho kuwe. Futhi uyeka i-vendetta, ngaphandle kokubamba amagqubu. 

Ingabe i-Agape Love Inempilo?

Sesazi okuningi ngothando lwe-Agape (uh-gah-pay agape) manje futhi akukho lutho ngalo oluthi aluphilile. Kodwa uthando lube nini umbuzo othi yebo noma cha? Nginesibindi sokuba nesibindi, ngingathi endabeni ye-Agape, impendulo ingu-yebo no-cha . Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi into inkulu kangakanani, udinga njalo ukuthola ibhalansi efanele. Uthando lwe-Agape lumayelana nokupha nokuzidela kodwa lokho akusho ukuzilimaza. Abantu abazilimazayo noma abenza into enganaki ukuze nje bafakazele uthando lwabo abalwenzi uthando olungenamibandela kodwa mhlawumbe ukunamathela okunobuthi.

Futhi, lapho uqhubeka upha, uthulula amandla akho kulowo muntu oyedwa noma mhlawumbe ngisho neqembu labantu. Ngenkathi ukwenza lokho ngenxa yothando, udinga ukukhumbula ukuthi unamandla amancane kuphela futhi awukwazi ukuvumela uthando lwakho ngothile lube nomthwalo kuwe nsuku zonke. Yilapho-ke eqala khona ukungabi nampilo. Thanda umuntu ngenhliziyo yakho yonke. Banike inhliziyo yakho nomphefumulo wakho uma ubona, kepha ungabi yimpumputhe futhi uzishise ngokungenanzuzo kubo noma kuwe. 

I-Agape ithathwa njengohlobo oluphakeme kakhulu lothando ngoba aluzifuneli lona futhi alufaki izinzuzo zomuntu siqu kanye nenjabulo emnyombweni walo. Kuye kwafakazela ukuthi kuyingxenye edingekayo yobudlelwano besimanje futhi. Uma uthanda umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela, wamukela amandla othando futhi uthuthukise ubudlelwano bakho. Uma ufunda ukulinganisa ukuxhumana, ukuzithanda, nothando lwe-agape ebudlelwaneni, uvula indlela yokuthi wena nomlingani wakho nifeze izidingo zenu, nikhathalelane ngokujulile, futhi niqinise ubuhlobo benu. Konke kuholela kuphela ebuhlotsheni obunempilo. 

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