He aha ngā huringa whanaungatanga e puta ai, me te aha te mahi

E kīia ana, ina whiriwhiria e tātou tētahi hoa, ka tīmata tātou i tētahi kōrero: he kōrero e tipu haere tonu ana, e whanake haere ana i a tātou e mōhio pai ake ana ki a tātou anō, me te mōhio hoki ki a tātou anō, me te aro atu hoki ki ngā taumahatanga o te ao me ngā huringa whanaungatanga e kore e taea te karo. 

Ahakoa kei te tīmatanga tātou, kei waenganui, kei mua rānei i roto i tā tātou pūrākau whanaungatanga, kāore pea e noho tonu pērā i nāianei, ā, ka werohia e ngā kaupapa o roto, o waho rānei. Hei mārama ki te take e puta ai ngā huringa whanaungatanga, he aha ngā āhua ka puta, me pēhea te whakatere i aua huringa, i tahuri tātou ki Tanvi Jajoria, te kaiwhakaū o MentAmigo, he tohunga hinengaro tohutohu, he kaimahi hoki o te ao mō ngā Tikanga Herekore Hinengaro (EFT), mō ētahi tirohanga. 

He aha ngā take e huri ai ngā whanaungatanga?

E ai ki a Tanvi, ka rerekē te reka o ia whanaungatanga i te wā me te pakeketanga. "E kore e rite tonu te reka o te tokorua kei roto i ō rāua tau 20." hononga hihiri "hei tāne me te wahine, he hoa rangatira kei roto i ō rāua tau 60. I a tāua e pakeke haere ana, ka tipu, ka huri hoki tāua takitahi, nā te hiahia kia pai ake te mahi. Pērā i a tāua, ka whanake haere hoki ō tāua whanaungatanga i roto i te wā, i a tāua e ako ana ki te whakapuaki i tō tāua oranga ki tō tāua hoa rangatira, ā, ka tīmata ki te mārama ki te tikanga me te hiranga o te whai i tētahi i roto i tō tāua oranga," tana whakamārama.

E ai ki a ia, ka taea hoki te huri i ngā āhuatanga o ngā whanaungatanga i roto i: 

• Ngā kaupapa me ngā wheako o te ao
• Ngā wero whaiaro me ngā wero ngaio
• Te whakarerekē i ngā whāinga o te ao

"Hei tauira, ko te ahotea o te mahi me te oranga, ko te huringa rānei o ngā tūranga me ngā kawenga i roto i te whanaungatanga - hei tauira, te neke mai i te whakaipoipo ki te marena, ki te mātua rānei - ka taea te huri i te whanaungatanga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine," te kī a te tohunga hinengaro me te tohunga whanaungatanga a Jyoti Dadlani. "Ka taea hoki te huri i ngā whanaungatanga ina tīmata te wehe o ngā hoa, ka rapu i tētahi oranga i waho o tētahi i tētahi," tāna tāpiri. 

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Te Whanaketanga o ngā Hononga

"Tērā pea ka pai ake ngā huringa whanaungatanga, kāore rānei, engari he rite tonu, ā, kāore e taea te karo," te kī a Tanvi. Hei mārama ki tēnā, me āta tirohia te whanaketanga o te whanaungatanga i te tuatahi. Ahakoa kāore he ara kotahi hei noho hei tokorua, ā, kāore he whanaungatanga e rua e whai ana i te kaupapa kotahi, tera ētahi wāhanga whanaungatanga e pā ana ki te nuinga o ngā tokorua - he takirua, he takirua maha, he tuwhera, he takatāpui, he takatāpui tāne -:

1. Te atamira o te marena

Koinei te wāhanga tōmua o te whanaungatanga ina kore e taea e tātou te kite, te whakaaro ki tua atu, me te makona tetahi i tetahi. Koinei anō te wāhanga o te tirohanga whiriwhiri ina mutu tā tātou whakatau kino, ā, kāore e kitea he hapa, he ngoikoretanga rānei o tō tātou hoa. 

Ā, ki te pērā tātou, ka hiahia tātou ki te titiro ki tua atu i a rātou, e kī ana a Jyoti. Nō reira, kia pēhea te roa o te tere o te manawa, te wiri o ngā waewae, me te pā o te ngākau? wā honi whakamutunga? 

• Kairangahau He rerekē te whakaaro o ētahi mō tēnei. E whakaaro ana ētahi he torutoru wiki, he marama rānei te roa, ko ētahi ia e kī ana ka taea te roa mō te toru tau. etahi kua kitea he rite tonu ngā taumata o te ngākau nui, engari he marino ake, i roto i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua roa e noho tahi ana 
• E ai ki a Jyoti, he rerekē te roa o te wā honi i waenga i te tokorua me te whakatupuranga, engari ka mutu i te nuinga o te wā ina tīmata te hoki mai o ngā kawenga me te ao tūturu.

2. Te wā piri wawe

I tēnei wāhanga o te mōhio hohonu ki tētahi tangata, ka puta mai ngā mamae e tipu haere ana, ngā taupatupatu, ngā uauatanga, ngā tautohetohe, me ngā whakarerekētanga. Ina tupu ngā mea i te ao tūturu, ā, ina tīmata tō hītori, ō mataku, ō hononga kare ā-roto, ō tumanakohanga, ō whanaungatanga whānau, ō hiahia hoha o te ao, ō ruarua, me ō riri – ka whakamatautauria tō hononga e ēnei. 

Ahakoa te uaua o tēnei, he wāhanga tēnei o te tipu me te huringa o te whanaungatanga. Ā, i roto i te whakatau mēnā ka taea te mau tonu, e ai ki a Tākuta Kathryn Foster, te kaituhi o Ina Huri Tō Hononga: Te Haerenga a te WahineI tēnei wā, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua roa e noho tahi ana hei ako i ngā kōrero mō rātou anō, hei kite rānei i ngā tohu kino, i ngā arai rānei hei whakatau i te hoa rangatira.

Ngā rangahau mahere roro kua kitea i roto i te 8–17 marama o te whanaungatanga aroha, ka tīmata ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e kaha ana ki te noho pūmau i roto i te aroha ki te whakawhanake i ngā kare ā-roto kaha o te piripono i a rātou e tīmata ana ki te huihui hei rōpū, me te whakaaro ki tētahi heke mai tahi. 

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3. Wāhanga raruraru

I roto i te whanaungatanga aroha, ka taea e te wā te whakanui ake i te whakawhirinaki me te whakaute i a tātou e ako ana ki te whakawhirinaki, ki te noho pono, me te noho ngoikore i te taha o tō tātou hoa. Ka taea e ia te whakanui ake i ngā whakaohooho o te aroha hoa - he aroha puhoi, pakari, me te pumau e ahu mai ana i: 

• Te whakahoahoa whakamarie 
• Te Maarama Tahi 
• Aroha nui

Engari ka taea hoki e ia te whakanui ake i ngā mea riri iti, ngā feaa whakararuraru, ngā koretake o te whakaaro, ngā pakanga mana, me ngā taumata, ngā panonitanga rānei o ngā kare ā-roto me ngā kaupapa matua. Ka taea rānei e ia te whakanui ake i ngā raruraru whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ngā rerekētanga o ngā tumanakohanga, ngā take whanaungatanga, me ngā tautohetohe whakarihariha. Ka taea hoki e ia te tuku pōro nui e hopu ana i a tātou i roto i te kore e mōhiotia.

E ai ki a rātou he tau e pātai ana, he tau e homai ana i ngā whakautu. I tētahi wā i roto i te wā roa, ka tīmata pea tātou ki te whakaaro ahakoa ko tō tātou whanaungatanga he mea tika kia penapenaHe maha ngā wā e hiahiatia ana he kōwhiringa mō te pātai: Ka huihui tahi tāua hei rōpū ki te mahi i te whanaungatanga? Ka wehe kē rānei tāua i te mea ka huri te whanaungatanga i te wā, ā, i te mutunga, ka wehe kē tāua? 

4. Wāhanga whakapau kaha hohonu

Ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua wikitoria i te raruraru ka uru atu ki te wāhanga e whai ake nei o te whanaungatanga: he whanaungatanga e whai kiko ana, e pumau ana hoki. I tēnei wā, kua maha ngā āwhā kua pā ki a rātou, ā, kua ako rātou ki te whakatere i ngā kōrero uaua, me te aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga uaua me ngā raruraru ka pā mai ki a rātou. 

He wāhanga whakaae anō hoki tēnei. E kī ana a Tanvi, "I a koe e pakeke haere ana, ka rerekē ō whāinga me ō kaupapa matua, ka ako koe ki te whakapuaki i tō oranga ki tō hoa, me te whakaae ki ō rātou ngoikoretanga e hanga ana i a rātou hei tangata, pērā i tō whakaae ki ō rātou tino pai. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i te tokorua ki te whakaputa i te pai o tētahi ki tētahi; nō reira, ka whanake haere tō rāua whanaungatanga hei pai ake."

Ahakoa rā, kua mōhiotia whānuitia ka werohia tō whanaungatanga e te huringa. Ka puta ngā takahurihuri i te ara. Ā, he mea hou raruraru hononga kāore rānei ka puta ake ngā āhuatanga. Nā te mea, kei te noho tātou i tētahi ao kāore he mea e rite tonu ana.

Ngā Momo Huringa Hononga 

He kupumahi te aroha, ehara i te āhua hihiri pumau, e ai ki te kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga me te kaituhi Ehetere Perere"Pērā i te marama, ka tipu haere, ka memeha haere ia whanaungatanga, ā, ka haere i roto i ngā wāhanga rerekē. He wāhanga nui tēnei o te tipu me te huringa o te whanaungatanga, me te anga whakamua. "Me whanake te whanaungatanga me tō whanaketanga whaiaro me ō whāinga oranga kia mau tonu ai," te kī a Tanvi. 

E ai ki a Jyoti, kāore e taea te aukati i te huringa o tētahi whanaungatanga. E ai ki a ia, ahakoa he pai, he kino rānei, ka whakawhirinaki ki te tirohanga a kōrua ko tō hoa wahine ki te huringa me tō kōrua hiahia ki te: 

• Whakarite
• Whakaae
• Tautoko 
• Kia whakaae
• Ā, kia atawhai tetahi ki tetahi

Nā, he aha ngā panonitanga ka taea e tātou te tumanako i roto i te whanaungatanga roa? Kia tirohia tata atu tātou: 

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1. Ka uru koe ki ngā tūranga me ngā kawenga hou

Ahakoa i tīmata kōrua te whakaipoipo i ētahi marama kua pahure ake nei, kua neke atu rānei i te whakaipoipo ki te noho tahi, kua moe tahi rānei, ka werohia tō kōrua whanaungatanga e ngā huringa. 

Tuatahi, i te whanaketanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ka huri kōrua mai i te whakarerekē me te whakarite wāhi mō tētahi ki tētahi, ki te awhi me te manaaki i ō hoa, i ō whanaunga tata, i ō whanaunga tawhiti, i ō mōkai, i ngā kurī, me ngā mea pai me ngā mea whakarihariha katoa e pā ana: 

• "Ina neke tahi kōrua, ina mārena rānei, ka mōhio kōrua kāore kōrua e noho tahi ana me te tangata kotahi. Ka uru mai hoki ō rāua whānau me ētahi atu tāngata hou ki te pikitia," te kī a Jyoti.
• "Ka puta anō ētahi atu huringa me ngā whakatikatika i te taumata whaiaro me te taumata whanaungatanga, ā, ka pā ēnei ki tō whanaungatanga," te kī a Tanvi.

"Ko tētahi atu huringa nui ko he whanau peepi. Ka puta mai i te mātua ngā huringa rerekē i roto i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine (me ngā tumanakohanga mai i a rātou anō, e whakaaturia ana i roto i tēnei ako), ko ētahi e harikoa ana rātou ki te awhi, ko ētahi e uaua ana ki a rātou (pērā i ngā kawenga tiaki tamariki, te whakataurite i te mahi me te oranga whānau, ngā mahi kāinga, me ngā huringa o te whanaungatanga)," te kī a Tanvi.

2. Tērā pea ka pā mai ētahi huihuinga ka whakarerekē i tō koiora

He mahi hou e roa ake ai te haere ki te mahi, he iti ake te wā ki te whānau, he mahi rānei e neke ana i ngā tāone me te whanaungatanga tawhiti. Ngā āwangawanga me ngā koretake o te ngaronga o te mahi. Te taumahatanga rānei o te pouri, o te mate rānei — ka waiho e ētahi huihuinga he tohu ki tō whanaungatanga. 

Hei tauira, kotahi ako kua kitea e te rangahau he kaha ake ngā whanaungatanga piripono mēnā ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te urutau ki ngā āhuatanga kino o te ao, pērā i te mate. I ētahi wā, ka taea e te āhuatanga kotahi te whakaoho i ngā momo huringa whanaungatanga rerekē:

• A Reddit E ai ki tētahi kaiwhakamahi, nā te rāhui COVID-19 i arahi te mate ki tana whanaungatanga. "Ki taku whakaaro, ko ngā raruraru i warewarehia e mātou i mua i te rāhui ka pā mai ki a mātou i a mātou e noho tahi ana i roto i te whare," tāna tāpiri.
• tetahi kaiwhakamahi E ai ki tā rāua, nā te rāhui i whakakaha ake tō rāua whanaungatanga. E mea ana rāua, "I whai wā mātou ki te noho tahi, ā, i mahara mātou he aha mātou i tino pai ai tetahi ki tetahi."

3. Kāore tō oranga moepuku e noho rite tonu 

koutou ora sex ka whanake haere i te whanaketanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ina hoki, ko te panonitanga o te hiahia taikaha tētahi o ngā panonitanga whanaungatanga noa i muri i te marena me te whānautanga. 

I runga i ngā tono me ngā taumahatanga o te ao hou, te whānau, me te mahi, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua roa e noho tahi ana ka pāngia e te huringa o te hiahia moepuku, ka pāngia rānei e te wā maroke i tētahi wā. He mea noa anō hoki kia whakawhanakehia e ngā hoa he hiahia moepuku hou, kia ngana rānei ki te whakarerekē i ngā mea i roto i te rūma moe. 

Engari, ki te mea kua mutu rawa tō oranga moepuku, kua mutu ohorere rānei, he mea tika pea kia tirohia. Nā te mea, pērā i tētahi atu āhuatanga o tō whanaungatanga, me mahi anō hoki tēnei, e ai ki tā Esther Perel e whakamahara ana i roto i te Te Whakataetae i roto i te Herehere: Te Whakataurite i te Hinengaro me te Ā-Whare. E mea ana ia, "He maha ngā wā, i te wā e tau ana ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki ngā whakamarie o te aroha, ka mutu te mura o te hiahia. Ka wareware rātou he hiahia hau te ahi." 

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4. Ka iti haere tō wāhi whaiaro, ā, ka rerekē tō wā noho tahi me tō wā mokemoke

"I roto i te roanga o tō whanaungatanga, tera pea ētahi wā ka hiahia koe ki te whakarērea i ētahi wāhanga nui o tō wāhi whaiaro," te kī a Tanvi. E pā ana hoki tēnā ki te wā mōku ake, ki te wā rānei e noho tahi ana me tō hoa," te tāpiri a Jyoti.     

"Ka tae mai ngā wā kāore he ngā painga ōrite i roto i tō whanaungatanga kāore rawa. Ki te kore, kāore pea koe e pai ki ngā mea ōrite. Ka rerekē ō whiringa me ō manakohanga. Ka pā katoa tēnei ki te āhua o tō noho mokemoke, tō noho tahi, me tō whanaungatanga.”

E ai ki a Chandra, 68 tau te pakeke, kua neke atu i te whā tekau tau te roa o tana marena: "He pōuriuri, he hanumi tonu te wāhi whaiaro i a te tokorua e hanga tahi ana i te oranga. Ko te mea nui i konei: Ka taea e kōrua te whakaute i te wāhi o tētahi ki tētahi, me te kore e rongo i te here o tētahi ki tētahi?"

"Tērā pea kei te hiahia koe ki te hikoi inaianei, engari kei te hiahia rātou ki te mahi i muri mai. Kei te hiahia rānei koe ki te whakamātau i tētahi wharekai hou, i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou rānei, engari kei te hiahia rātou ki te kai i te kāinga, ki te mahi tahi rānei i tētahi atu mea. Ahakoa he mea iti, he mea nui rānei, ka taea e kōrua te hoatu i te wā me te wāhi ki a kōrua anō kia noho ko kōrua tonu, kia tipu tahi tonu ai?"

5. Tērā pea ka tīmata te rerekē haere o ō whāinga

He mea hanga tātou e te huringa, ā, ka rerekē ō tātou hiahia i te wā. Ko ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e tātou i roto i tō tātou ao, i tā tātou mahi, tae noa ki tō tātou whanaungatanga, kāore pea e rite tonu i ngā wā katoa.

I tētahi wā, tērā pea ka rerekē ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e kōrua: 

• Ko koe pea kāore anō kia rite mō te marena, engari ko raatau
• Tērā pea kei te hiahia rātou ki te whāngai i tētahi pēpi, engari kei te hiahia koe ki te arotahi ki tāu mahi i tēnei wā tonu.
• Tērā pea i hiahia koe ki te whai tamariki, engari kāore koe i te tino mōhio inaianei, kua rerekē rānei tō whakaaro
• Tērā pea kei te tautoko kōrua tetahi i tetahi i roto i ngā mahi, engari kāore i te tino mārama ki te wāhi e noho ai, e whakatū ai i ō kōrua pūtake.

"Mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine taitamariki, ka huri te āhua o te whanaungatanga ina kore e ōrite ā rāua whāinga whaiaro, whāinga ngaio rānei. Tērā pea he tino hototahi ngā tāngata tokorua, engari ina kore ēnei wāhanga tino nui o ō rāua oranga e ōrite, ka akiakihia rāua ki te whiriwhiri," te kī a Tanvi.

"Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatau i ēnei kōwhiringa, ā, ka taea e ēnei te whakaoho i ngā pakanga, ngā tautohetohe, ngā pōhēhētanga, me ngā tumanakohanga, ā, ka pā kino ki te whanaungatanga," tāna tāpiri. Ahakoa ka akiakihia koe e ēnei huringa hei āputa, hei wehe rānei i a koe, ka toro atu rānei koe ki te kōrero anō, ka whakatikatika anō i ō kōwhiringa – ka whakawhirinaki katoa ki te uara e hoatu ana e koe ki tō whanaungatanga. 

6. Ka kitea e koe ngā taha hou o tō hoa 

""Ina kite koe i tētahi mō ngā haora e rua, he māmā noa te kite i te pai. Engari ina kite koe i a rātou i te ao katoa, koinā te wā ka tīmata ai koe ki te mōhio ki a rātou," te kī a Jyoti. E whakaae ana a Chandra. "He whanaungatanga ngā huringa i muri i te marena, pērā i ngā tāngata o roto. Ka moe tātou i tētahi momo tangata, ā, ka taea e taua momo te huri i te wā. I a koe e anga whakamua ana, ka kitea e koe ngā mea hou mō tō hoa, pērā i te kitenga i ngā taha hou ki a koe anō.” 

Ahakoa he mea maori ētahi huringa, ko ētahi me wawao. Mena he huringa ohorere o te āhua o te tangata, he whakapae kino, he whakaaro rānei kei te takahi koe i runga i te anga hua manu i te taha o tō hoa, ehara i te tohu pai, ā, he tohu pea tēnei. 

A Quora E mahara ana te kaiwhakamahi: "I a māua e whakaipoipo ana, he tino atawhai, he whakaaro nui ia, ā, i tino whakapau kaha ia ki te āwhina i ahau. I miharo ahau! I muri i tā māua marena ... ka tīmata ia ki te whakauaua i ahau ki te whakapā atu ki tōku whānau me ōku hoa ... I muri i tana patu i te maripi ki tōku korokoro, ka whakaaro ahau kua tae ki te wā hei haere."

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7. Tērā pea ka wehe kē koe i roto i te wā

I ētahi wā, i te roanga o te wā, ka mōhio ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua oti te whakarite he "karaka rerekē rāua e rua e kore e tangi tahi," e ai ki tā Lang Leav i roto i Aroha me te Āhuatanga PōuriHe mea tino maori tēnei. Kāore e roa te mau o ngā whanaungatanga katoa, ā, ka taea e ngā tāngata e rua e aroha ana te wehe.  

"Kāore he aha. Ka huri ētahi whanaungatanga i te roanga o te wā nā te mea kua tutuki i a rātou tā rātou kaupapa. I tēnei wā, ko te whakaae ki te huringa me te tuku i a koe te mea pai rawa atu māu," te kī a Tanvi.

Me pēhea te whakatau i ngā huringa whanaungatanga

"Kua arahina tātou ki te whakapono mēnā kei roto tātou i te aroha pono, ka mau tonu ake ake"... Ka mau tonu i a tātou ngā kare ā-roto whakamiharo e mau nei i tēnei wā... Engari, ko te mutunga kore o te wheako aroha he pakiwaitara, ehara i te meka," te kī a te kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro a Gary Chapman i roto i te Ngā Reo Aroha e Rima: Te Mea Ngaro ki te Aroha e Pumau Ana.

Nō reira, ina rerekē tō tātou whanaungatanga, ka tino whakamataku, ka tino pāwera hoki i ētahi wā. I ētahi wā, me puta atu tātou i tō tātou rohe whakamarie. Engari i ētahi wā, ko te pānga o ēnei huringa ki a tātou me tō tātou whanaungatanga ehara i te mea ko ngā huringa tonu, engari ko te āhua o tā tātou whakahaere i aua huringa. Anei ētahi huarahi hei whakatau i ngā huringa whanaungatanga:

1. Kia whakaae ki ngā panonitanga

"Kāore e taea e tetahi tangata, whanaungatanga, āhuatanga rānei te noho rite tonu i roto i ngā tau. Mā te mārama ake ki te hiranga o te huringa, ka māmā ake te whakaae ki a ia ina pāngia e ia," te kī a Tanvi.

He maha ngā wā ka tūtaki tātou ki te huringa, ka panaia e tātou. Ahakoa he mea whakamarie te pupuri i te āhua o nāianei, ka taea hoki te tohu i te noho pūmau, ā, koinei te ritenga kē o te tipu. E ai ki te kōrero, he wāhi whakamiharo te rohe whakamarie, engari kāore he mea e tupu i reira.

"Me whakaae koe ki te mamae e pā mai ana i te huringa, he mea maori hoki tēnā – ahakoa te nui o tō whakarite mōna. E kore te pehi i tō mamae e āwhina i a koe, i tō whanaungatanga rānei i te wā roa," te tāpiri a Tanvi.

2. Kimihia ngā take mō te huringa

Ina rerekē tō whanaungatanga, ā, ka kitea e koe he āwangawanga mōu, whakaarohia te tūhura i ngā take mō ēnei whanaketanga. He aha ētahi mea whakahihiri, pēhanga rānei o waho, pērā i te mahi, i te taumahatanga pūteaKua pāngia rānei koe, tō hoa rānei e ētahi pakanga nui, ētahi panonitanga rānei i roto i a koe i ēnei rā? 

Ahakoa kāore e taea e tātou te whakahaere i te huringa, ka taea e tātou te whakamahi hei hanga i te mōhiotanga pai ake mō tō tātou whanaungatanga. Ka taea e tātou te hanga i ngā huringa e hiahiatia ana hei pupuri i tō tātou hononga, te mahi rānei ki te whakapai ake. 

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3. Kia tuwhera tonu ngā ara whakawhitiwhiti kōrero

Ina tae mai te huringa, he pai ake te kōrero mō taua mea. "Kōrerohia ō kare ā-roto mō taua whanaketanga hou ki tō hoa rangatira. He aha ō whakaaro mō taua mea? He aha ō whakaaro mō taua mea? He aha ō rātou whakaaro mō taua mea? Whakaritea he wāhi mō ēnei momo kōrero," te tohutohu a Tanvi.

I mua i tō mahi i tēnā, ka tāpiri atu ia, me arotake wawe koe —

• He aha ō tumanakohanga mai i a koe anō me tō hoa rangatira i a koe e kite ana i ngā huringa e puta ana i roto i tō koiora?
• Me pēhea koe e hiahia ai kia tautokona koe i roto i te huringa, kia noho hoki ki reira mō rātou?

4. Kia rite ki te whakararu

He uaua ētahi huringa ki te whakahaere, ā, ka taea te whakakaha i te tinana te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga, inā koa mēnā he mea ohorere, he mea kāore rānei e hiahiatia. Ā, he aha te mea ka tupu i muri mai? Ka taea e te whakapae te uru mai, ka tīmata ki te whakapoke i te whārite. Mēnā koinei tāu e pā ana, he pai ake te hoki whakamuri me te arotahi ki te kimi otinga. Tērā pea ka uru atu ki tēnā he taumata whakaae me te tuku.

5. Arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai o tō hoa me te whanaungatanga whānui

Nā, he aha tā tātou e taea ai ina rerekē tō tātou whanaungatanga nā ētahi panonitanga e pā ana ki tō tātou hoa rangatira? Arotahi ki ō rātou painga. E ai ki tētahi ako, mā te pupuri i ngā "mānukanuka pai" me te aromatawai nui rawa i tō hoa ka nui te āwhina ki te pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia mau tonu, kia harikoa ake hoki.   

I konei, ko te whakaae te mea nui. "He tangata tātou, e kore rawa tātou e rite anō, engari ko te manawanui me te whakaae ki ngā ngoikoretanga o tētahi ki tētahi he mea e kore e aukati i a tātou ki te tipu tahi," te kī a Jyoti.

6. Tāutuhia ngā huringa kino o te whanaungatanga me ngā mea e takahi ana i te whakaaetanga 

Ko te arotahi ki ngā mea pai kaua e tohu i te taka ki te pai kino, e ai ki te whakatūpato a Tanvi. "Ehara i te mea he pai ngā huringa katoa, ā, he pai ake te tūpato ki ngā tohu kino," tāna tāpiri. E ai ki a ia, kei reira ētahi huringa kino i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka taea te mahi ki runga i ēnei mea: 

• Te kore korero 
• Ngā take whanaungatanga (ngā kare ā-roto, ngā wairua, ngā tinana, ngā moepuku rānei)

Heoi, e ai ki a Tanvi, kei reira ētahi huringa hei tohu ārai wawe:

• Te tukino ā-hinengaro, ā-tinana, ā-ira tangata rānei, ahakoa te kaha 
• Ngā tauira whanonga kāore e hiahiatia ana (pēnei i te takahi i ngā rohe)
• Te kore whakaute tetahi ki tetahi mō ngā whakapono, ngā manakohanga, ngā take rānei e pā ana ki te whakaaetanga a tetahi ki tetahi

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7. Rapua he āwhina mēnā he āhua hē tetahi mea

E mea ana a Tanvi, "Ahakoa ka rerekē te reka o ia whanaungatanga i te wā, ki te kore tetahi mea e pai ki a koe, ki te kite rānei koe kei te hē tetahi mea, he tohu kino pea rānei, he pai ake te mahi i runga i tēnā." Nō reira, kōrero ki tētahi, rapua he āwhina, whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te mahi i ngā mea e tika ana hei whakapai ake i a koe anō, hei whakapai ake rānei i tō whanaungatanga.

I te mutunga o te rā, i roto i ā tātou kōrero aroha, me ō tātou kōrero ora, ka tūtaki tātou ki ngā mea ohorere, ngā mea kāore i tonoa, me ngā mea tauhou. Ā, pērā i ngā kōrero katoa, me kaha tātou ki te mahi i ā tātou ake, me te pupuri i a ia, me te mahi anō i ētahi wāhanga i a tātou e haere ana, me te tīmata anō rānei. Nā te mea, ko ā tātou kōrero te mea e hanga ana i a tātou, pērā i a tātou e hanga ana i a rātou.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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