Ina kōrero tātou mō ngā mahi moepuku, ko te whakaaro kua pakaru te marena. Engari ka taea e te moepuku te āwhina i tō marena? He pātai whakamere tēnei, kāore he whakautu ngāwari. Ki te kore te tāne me te wahine e hiahia ana ki te marena maha, kāore e whakaaetia ngā whanaungatanga i waho o te marena. Ko te ariā kaha o te marena ko te marena kotahi, nō reira ka kitea tonutia te kore whakapono he mea kino, tika?
Engari tera pea ētahi e kī ana ka hua mai ngā painga o te moe tāne me te wahine i waho o te marena, ā, ka nui ake tō maioha ki tō hoa rangatira. Heoi anō, he maha ngā āhuatanga o te aroha. Tērā pea ka whakakaha tētahi momo aroha i tētahi atu. He maha ngā tāngata i tae mai ki te kōrero, ā, he rerekē, he miharo hoki ō rātou whakaaro.
Ka taea te kaha ake o te marena i muri i te moepuku?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He maha ngā take o ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena – te hoha, te mokemoke, te whakaaro kāore koe i te maiohahia. Ko tētahi mahi moepuku i waho o te marena – tētahi e uru ana ki ngā taunekeneke pāpori, ā-ira tangata me te whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu (ehara i te mea he hononga ā-ira tangata, ā-hinengaro rānei) – ka hoatu pea he whai wāhitanga ki a koe ki te tiro i tō marena mā tētahi tirohanga hou.
Tērā pea ka whakaoho i a koe ki te whakatika i tō marena. Nā te mea, ko tētahi o ngā take o ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena ko te noho pūmau o te marena. I kī ētahi o ngā tāngata i kōrero mātou ki a rātou, mā te moepuku ka taea te whakaora anō i te marena mā te pana atu ki te āhua pūmau o te marena. Arā, ko te whanaungatanga i waho o te marena ka rite ki te koko e whakaoho ana i te kohua.
Ka uru tātou ki tētahi hononga i waho o te marena nā te mea kāore ētahi hiahia e tutukihia ana i roto i tā tātou marena – he rerekē te hononga i waho o te marena i te hononga marena i tōna āhua. Ina whakatauritea e tātou ngā hononga e rua, ka whakaatu mai tēnei rerekētanga i ngā mea kua ngaro i a tātou i roto i tā tātou hononga marena. Nō reira, ka taea e tātou te whakatau he aha te mea e tino hiahiatia ana e tātou i roto i tā tātou hononga marena kia makona ai tātou.
I roto i tēnei tuhinga, i pātai mātou ki ngā tāngata mō ngā painga o te moe tāne me te wahine, mēnā he painga tēnā, ā, mēnā rānei ka taea e taua moe tāne te whakatika i tō marena.
Nā te moepuku a taku tāne i ora ai tā māua marena
E whakaae ana a Sawmya Tewari ka taea e ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena te kawe mai i te pai ki te oranga marena o te tangata, ā, ka nui ake tō maioha ki tō hoa rangatira . I mea ia, "Nā te mahi moepuku a taku tāne i whakaora tō māua marena. Kua wehe māua i te nuinga o te wā, he nui rawa te pukumahi ki ā māua mahi. Engari ko tana mahi moepuku me taku tauhohenga ki tēnā mahi i whakahoki mai i a māua ki te ao tūturu. I kite māua kei te aroha tonu māua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, kāore tetahi o māua i whakaaro ki te whakarere."
I kōrero anō a Sawmya mō tētahi mahi tinihanga a tētahi tāne i tana wahine, engari i haere rāua ki te kaunihera mō tētahi wā, ā, kua hoki mai te mura o te marena. "I tino pouri taku hoa i tana rongonga i te take o te moepuku, engari i te hiahia o tana tāne ki te whakatika i tā rāua whanaungatanga, ka mōhio ia e hiahia ana hoki ia ki te whakatika. "Ka nui ake tō maioha ki tō hoa rangatira ina whakaaro koe ki te ngaro i a ia, ina whakaaro rānei koe ki a ia me tētahi atu," tana whakaaro nui.
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Kāore te puremu me te marena e haere tahi i ngā wā katoa
Engari he taha anō kei reira, arā, ka kino rawa atu te marena i te moe tāne, ā, ka kite koe kei te pouri koe mō tō moe tāne. I kī a Smriti he hoa āna e whakamātau ana i tā rātou marena i muri i te oranga mai i te moe tāne. Engari, i whakatūpato ia, tera pea ka āwhina te moe tāne ki te whakaora i te mura tawhito o tō māua marena, engari ki te nui rawa te haere, "He maha ngā wā ka mutu he kino ki te marena, nā te mea kua pakaru kē te here whakawhirinaki, ā, i te kore e pai ake tō māua marena, ka huri hei kino."
Tērā atu anō tētahi āhuatanga o te moe tāne. I kī a Smriti, ahakoa ka taea e te moe tāne te āwhina i te marena, tera pea te wahine , te tāne rānei i roto i te moe tāne e tumanako ana ka huri te moe tāne hei whanaungatanga i tētahi rā. "Ko te hunga i roto i te marena, i tēnei wā, kua taea e rātou te whakatutuki i ō rātou oranga. Engari whakaarohia te kore tika mō te 'tangata kē' e hiahia ana ki te aroha me te manaaki, engari ka mutu ka mokemoke i ia rā!"
Kia puta ai he merekara i roto i te marena, me aro pai ngā hoa e rua ki te moepuku, he mea tino uaua tēnei ki te tupu, i runga i te whakapehapeha me te mana pupuri.
Ka taea hoki e te moepuku te wawahi i tō marena
I kī pūmau ētahi tāngata kāore rawa he āwhina a te moepuku ki te marena. "E kore rawa te moepuku e whakaora i tō oranga marena i te 99/100 wā. Ā, he tūponotanga tēnā e kore rawa ahau e peti," te kī a Ayushi. "He whakaoranga i te utu o te whakawhirinaki? Kaua e haere ki reira - tera pea ka hoki mai ki te ngau i a koe," te whakatūpato a Amreeta Sen, i whakaae a Ankur ka noho tonu ngā take whakawhirinaki ki te tangata i tinihangatia.
He uaua ki te whakakore i te mamae pēnei. "Tērā pea ka noho tonu te whanaungatanga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ahakoa he aha te take, engari he uaua ki te tuku atu i roto i te wā," tana kī. "E mōhiotia ana ko te hunga i roto i ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena ka ngawari ake, ka nui ake te manaaki ki ā rātou hoa. Tērā pea nā te hara, ka whai whakaaro nui rātou, engari he hara tonu," te kī a Tākuta Sanjeev Trivedi, me te whakarato i tētahi tirohanga rerekē.
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I ētahi wā ka taea e te kore whakapono te whakapakari i te marena
Mā te tinihanga o te whakawhirinaki ka mōhio te tangata hara ki ngā hua o te hara mēnā ka mōhiotia, ā, ka arotakehia hoki e ia mēnā he pai te mahi tahi me te pakaru o te whakawhirinaki, e ai ki tā Amit Shankar Saha. Engari, tērā pea ka puta he mahi tahi kāore he mea e huna ana, ā, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, inā koa he hoa pai ngā hoa rangatira, ko te mea nui kia whai kawenga.
He maha ngā wā, kāore e hiahiatia kia tae atu te tangata kua mārena ki tētahi hononga tūturu, engari me whai tautoko kare ā-roto. E kitea tonutia ana ēnei hononga kare ā-roto he mahi tinihanga e te hoa rangatira, engari i ēnei wā, mā te hononga tūturu ka kaha ake te marena.
E whakaae ana a Amit, "He tino tawhiti rawa te whakaaro ka taea e te tangata kotahi te whakarato i ngā momo whakatutukitanga katoa. He maha ngā wā ka whakaae te tangata ki ngā momo kare ā-roto me ngā wawata kia piri tonu ai ki tētahi hoa mō ngā momo whakatutukitanga katoa. Ka taea e te hoa rangatira te noho hei hoa moepuku, hei hoa kare ā-roto, ā, kāore pea e noho hei hoa hinengaro ."
"Waihoki, tera ētahi kare ā-roto ka taea te whakapuaki ki te hoa rangatira, ko ētahi he pai ake mō te hoa, mō tētahi atu hoa rānei. Kāore e tika ana kia uru atu tētahi ki tētahi whanaungatanga aroha i te taha, kātahi ka pouri mō te moe tahi."
He pai te tinihanga mō tō marena
E taea ana te whai hoa kaha i tua atu i te marena, engari ina tīmata te pōuri o ngā rārangi o tēnei whanaungatanga, ka puta he raruraru. Engari he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua ora i muri i te moepuku e kī ana kua kite rātou i ā rātou hapa, ā, kua tīmata ki te mahi i te marena i pai ake ai tā rātou hononga i te wā roa. Engari e whakaae ana te katoa he hua ngā moepuku, kei a koe te whakatau me pēhea te whakahaere i tēnā.
I te tīmatanga, he tokoiti noa iho te hunga e kī ana "Nā te tinihanga i taku tāne i ora ai taku marena" me te "I tino harikoa taku wahine i tana mohiotanga kei te moe tahi māua ko tētahi atu". Ā, he tokoiti noa iho te hunga e uru ana ki tētahi mahi moe tāne me te whakaaro "He pai te tinihanga mō taku marena". Ina mōhio ngā hoa rangatira ki te tinihanga, ka tino mamae te hinengaro e pā ana ki a rātou.
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Engari ina tīmata rāua ki te whakatika i ngā āhuatanga o te marena i muri i te moe tāne, tera pea ka tāpirihia e rāua he oranga hou ki roto i te marena nā te mea kei te kaha tonu te whakapau kaha o te tokorua. Koinei te wā ka taea e koe te kī he pai pea te tinihanga mō tō kōrua marena.
He uaua te aroha, ā, ko te aroha e puta ana i waho o ngā tikanga me ngā hanganga, he nui atu te uaua. Ka taea e te tangata te aroha ki te tini me te kore e moe tāne, ā, kāore e whakama mō te whakakore i taua aroha ki tōna hoa rangatira. Ahakoa rā, he nui te mahi, te rongoā, me te hiahia pono ki te whakaora me te whakatika i te marena, ki te mea kei te tumanako koe ki te tīmata anō i muri i te moe tāne. Kua āwhinahia tō marena e te moe tāne? Tukuna mai ki ngā kōrero i raro nei.
FAQs
Ahakoa ngā marena pai rawa atu, ka taea tonu te puta o ngā mahi moepuku. Ko ngā take o ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena ko te hoha, te kore moepuku, te kore e arohia, te mokemoke rānei. I ētahi wā, he mahi moepuku kare ā-roto noa iho ina whakaaro tetahi o te hoa rangatira kāore ōna hiahia e tutukihia ana i roto i te marena.
Tērā ētahi wā kua hoki mai te mura o te marena nā te moe tāne, nā te mea rānei kua nui ake te maioha ki te hoa rangatira. Engari he nui te mahi hei whakatika i te marena ina kitea te moe tāne, ā, i ētahi wā, kua ngaro te whakawhirinaki mō ake tonu atu, ā, kāore e taea te whakaora i te marena.
Ka taea e ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena te noho hei mahi ā-hinengaro, ā-tinana, ā-rua rānei. I ētahi wā, he mahi moepuku tinana noa iho, i ētahi wā he hononga ā-hinengaro. Ka taea e ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena te huri hei aroha, hei hononga tūturu rānei, engari i ētahi wā, ka hoki te haurua o te mahi moepuku ki tā rātou hoa rangatira.
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Ehara te tinihanga i te hapa, engari he whakatau mohio nā te tangata tinihanga, e maka ana i te whakapau kaha, te āhua me ngā tikanga matatika ki te ipu puehu, ka tohatoha i te tinana ki tētahi atu tangata hei whakamahi māna. "Ka uru tātou ki tētahi hononga i waho o te marena nā te mea kāore ētahi hiahia e tutukihia ana i roto i tā tātou marena" – he aha te take e kore ai e kōrero ki tā rātou hoa rangatira, e whakapai ake ai i te whanaungatanga? Nā te mea he hunga tinihanga hiahia rātou, ā, kāore rātou e aroha ki tā rātou hoa rangatira. E mōhio ana hoki rātou "E kore e taea e te Atua te hopu". Koia rātou e pai ai ki te whakamahi mārire e te tangata tuatoru. Ka pai tonu te tangata tinihanga ki te mahi mārire, te mamae e pā ana ki te hoa rangatira pono. He pai ki te noho i tētahi tangata tinihanga ki te kāinga, he pai rānei ki te noho i tētahi mōkai pono (ahakoa he kararehe) ki te kāinga, ko tā te hoa rangatira pono te whakatau. He pai ki te noho tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga me te tangata tinihanga, he pai rānei ki te mahi i tētahi whanaungatanga hou me tētahi mea hou, nā te mea ki te whakatau te tangata ki te noho ki te tangata tinihanga, ko te kanohi whanoke me te mānukanuka me kite i ia rā, i ia rā. Mā te peke i te tuanui ka pakaru te tangata, kia mōhio ai koe ki tēnei, kāore e hiahiatia kia peke, kia tātarihia. Pēnei i tēnei, kāore e hiahiatia he tinihanga kia mōhio ai ki ngā raruraru o te marena. He take noa iho tēnei hei tautoko i te mahi whakamā a ngā tāngata tinihanga koretake kia whiwhi ai i ngā painga o te marena, pērā i ngā pirinoa ki te tinana. Ka piri tonu te hunga tinihanga ki te marena kia whiwhi ai i ngā painga o te marena, ā, ka mahi i ngā mea paru i muri i te hoa rangatira pono, nā te mea ko te tangata tinihanga he "Ghar Ki chor" noa iho, e ai ki te kīwaha "Ghar Ki chor ko, kāore e taea e te Atua te hopu".