He aha te tūkino i roto i te whanaungatanga?

E mōhio ana koe he aha te mahi tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore rānei koe i te tino mōhio he aha te tikanga o te mahi tukino? Ko te mahi tukino ko te whakamahi hē i te mana, te whakawhirinaki, me te mana whakahaere i roto i te whanaungatanga o te tokorua. Ko ngā tohu tuatahi o te whanaungatanga tukino ka kitea i roto i te oranga o te tokorua ina mahi tetahi o ngā hoa i te mea he tangata whakahaere, ā, ka ngana ki te whakahaere i te oranga o tā rātou hoa i runga i tā rātou ake hiahia.

E kitea ana tēnei tauira kore tika i roto i te nuinga o ngā marena, ina whakahaerehia e te hoa rangatira tana hoa rangatira, ā, ka whakararuraru i te whanaungatanga mā te maha o ngā tauira tukino. He maha ngā huarahi e taea ai te tautuhi i te tukino i te wā e whakaipoipo ana, i roto rānei i te marena. I mua i te ruku hohonu atu ki tēnei, me rapu tuatahi tātou i ngā momo whanaungatanga tukino.

Ngā momo tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga

He aha te whakamāramatanga o te whanaungatanga tukino? Ina whara tetahi tangata i tetahi atu tangata, ahakoa tinana, hinengaro rānei, ka mōhiotia ko te tukino. He maha ngā wā ka puta i roto i te huringa, ā, ka haere tonu mō tētahi wā. He aha te mea e kiia ana ko te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga? He rerekē ngā momo, ā, ka taea te whakarōpū hei:

1. Te tukino tinana: Ko te āhua o tēnei momo tukino he whakaeke tinana. Ka uru atu pea ki te patu, te papaki, te whana, te whakakōkī, ā, i ngā wā tino kino, tae noa ki te tahunga me te tapahi i te tinana. Ka puta pea ngā tohu o te tukino tinana hei marō, hei motu, hei tohu tinana anō hoki.
2. Te tukino i ngā kare ā-roto: Te whakamahi i ngā kupu whakatoi, ngā kupu mamae, me ngā whakahē koretake hei whakapouri i te tangata. Ka taea te mahi tukino kare ā-roto i te tūmataitinga, i te aroaro o te marea rānei. Ko ngā kōrero mamae mō te āhua, mō ngā pūkenga rānei o te tangata, he tukino kare ā-roto katoa.
3. Te tukino ā-ira tangata: Te mea kia moe tāne, te mahi rānei i tētahi mahi moe tāne me te wahine mā te kaha. Ngā tāwharau marena he mahi tukino ā-ira tangata anō hoki. Ka uru atu ki te tukino ā-ira tangata he whānuitanga o ngā mahi. Ka pā ki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Tērā pea ka pāngia hoki ngā tamariki e te tukino ā-ira tangata i te kāinga.
4. Te tukino hinengaro: Te whakamahi i te whanonga whakamataku hei whakamataku i te hoa, i ngā tamariki rānei kia mahi i tētahi mea kāore e hiahiatia ana e rātou. Ko te whāinga kia whakawhirinaki te tangata i tukinotia ki te kaitukino. Tērā pea ka tukino hinengaro te hoa i tetahi atu kia whiwhi ai i tā rātou e hiahia ana.
5. Te tukino pūtea: Te whakamahi i te moni hei whakahaere i te tangata kē, ina whakawhirinaki tetahi o ngā hoa ki te taha pūtea. Tērā pea ka utua e te kaipahua pūtea ngā whakapaunga a tetahi hei akiaki i te tangata kē kia ngohengohe ki te moepuku.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea taku whakamutu i te tukino i taku wahine?

He aha te tikanga o te tukino i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?

Ko ngā āhuatanga o te 'mana whakahaere' e whakahaere ana i te tukino i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. He aha tonu te whanaungatanga tukino, ā, he aha te take e hiahia ai te tangata ki te whakamahi i ēnei momo tikanga tino kino?

He hunga whakahāwea te hunga tukino, ā, e whakaaro ana rātou kei te pai ngā mea katoa i a rātou e whakahaere ana. Nā te hiahia nui ki te whakahaere, ka whakahaerehia e ēnei tāngata ngā āhuatanga hei painga mō rātou mā te whakataurite i te whakaū pai me te whakahē. I ētahi wā, ka mea pea rātou 'He tino waimarie ahau ki te whai hoa pēnei…' ka whakamahi rānei i te whakamoemiti, te whakapatipati, me ngā koha hei whakaatu i tō rātou 'aroha pono'.

Engari tērā pea ka rerekē te āhua i te rā i muri mai, ka pēhia pea te tangata i tukinotia e te kaipahua e te pēhanga hinengaro. Nō reira, tērā pea ka tūtaki te tangata i tukinotia ki te wāwāhinga puku, ki ngā whakawehi, ki ngā whakama, ki te kanga, ki te whakatoi, ki te tinihanga, me ērā atu mea.

Ka waiho tēnei momo whanonga kanorau hei mea pōhēhē, hei mea ngaro, hei mea pōhēhē hoki i te patunga. Kāore e taea e rātou te tātari i ngā āhuatanga mai i tētahi tirohanga koretake. Ka whakamahia e tēnei tauira tukino o te 'utu me te whiu' ngā ngoikoretanga o te hunga i tukinotia, ā, ka memeha haere tō rātou whakapono me tō rātou mana ki a rātou anō.

Nā reira, ka riro pea i a ia anō te kawenga mō ngā hē katoa e pā ana ki tō rāua whanaungatanga. Te whakawhiti whakapae i roto i te whanaungatanga ka whakakino. Kāore e roa, ka huri tēnei tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga hei huringa kino, ka koa te kaitūkino ki te 'whakanui i te mana' ki runga ake i ngā take nui katoa o te marena.

Pērā i te rangatira, ka whakahaere, ka whakahaere hoki ia i te hoa rangatira, he mea kino tēnei ki tētahi momo marena, ki tētahi whanaungatanga rānei. Hei karo i taua huringa kino o te whakapae kare ā-roto me ngā raruraru, anei ētahi tohu hei āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i te tukino i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei i te marena.

He aha ngā tohu o te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga?

He uaua ki te kite i ngā tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga tukino i te tīmatanga, engari ki te kore he mahi hei whakatika i tēnei wāhanga, he tino uaua te puta atu i tētahi whanaungatanga tukino. Nā, he aha ngā tohu whakatūpato o tētahi whanaungatanga tukino?

1. Kāore he mana whakahaere mō te whakatau kaupapa: Ka riro i te kaitukino te mana whakahaere katoa mō te whakatau kaupapa i roto i te whare. Ahakoa he kaiwhakahaere kāinga, me whakawhirinaki pea te wahine kua moe ki te 'whakaaetanga' a tana tāne mō ngā whakatau taketake pēnei i ngā hiahia o ia rā o te whare me tana hauora whaiaro. E ai ki te Rangahau Hauora Whānau ā-Motu 2005-06, 37% noa iho o ngā wāhine kua moe tāne i whakaae kia whai wāhi rātou ki ngā whakatau kaupapa taketake pēnei i te tiaki hauora, te hoko taonga mō ngā hiahia o ia rā, me te toro atu ki ō rātou whānau, whanaunga rānei. Ko te toenga kei runga i ngā 'whakaaetanga' a te tāne, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kaha o te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tukino.
2. Te whakaeke i te mana motuhake o te hoa rangatira: Ko te mana motuhake te arai matua mō te kaitūkino. I te tīmatanga, ka ngana pea te kaitūkino ki te aukati i te mana motuhake o te hoa rangatira mā roto i ngā huarahi rautaki. Ka whakatenatena pea ia i a ia kia kaua e kaha rawa te mahi i a ia e tiaki tahi ana i te whare me te mahi. Ā muri ake nei, ka pātai pea ia ki a ia mō ngā whakapaunga, ahakoa iti, ahakoa nui. Mēnā rānei, ka tohaina e ia he moni iti rawa mō ngā whakapaunga o ia marama, ka pāngia pea e te ahotea kore e hiahiatia ki te wahine. Ka tukuna e tēnei momo tukino pūtea he taumahatanga kore e hiahiatia ki te patunga, ā, ka waiho rātou ki raro i te aroha o te kaitūkino.
3. Te here i te herekoretanga o te nekehanga: He mea whakamīharo te mōhio ko te kotahi hautoru anake o ngā wāhine e whakaaetia ana kia haere ko rātou anake ki te mākete, ki te whare hauora, ki te tūtaki rānei ki ō rātou hoa. Mēnā ka tukuna e tētahi tāne pēnei tana wahine kia haere mō ēnei haerenga nui, ka tirotirohia pea ia e ia mā roto i ngā karere, mā roto rānei i ngā waea, ā, ka pā pea tēnei ki te rangimarie o te hinengaro o te wahine. Mā te whakatakoto here ki tana wahine, ka whakaatuhia e te tāne tukino he āhua rangatira.
4. Te whakahaere i te whanonga: Mā te whanonga whakahaere ka whakatō te purapura o ngā raruraru me ngā feaa i roto i te oranga o te tokorua. Ko ia nekehanga, ia whakapaunga, ia kupu ka tirotirohia, ka whakahaerea e te hoa tukino. I ētahi wā, ka tino uaua ngā āhuatanga ina kore te patunga e 'whakatuwhera' ki tōna whānau, ki ōna hoa rānei, ahakoa mā te waea. Ka haere tonu te whakamātautau ina ngana te kaitukino ki te whakahaere i ngā pūtea me ngā whakapaunga. Ina nekehia te tahua, ina kore rānei e pai ngā mea ki a ia, ka taea e te riri me te aritarita te hanga raruraru kāore e hiahiatia. Ka whakatō hoki te hae i te purapura o te whanonga whakahaere. Mena ka whakaaro te hoa tukino kāore te patunga i te pono, ā, ka kōrero noa ki te ira tangata kē, ka tirohia pea e ia ngā karere pūkoro me ngā rekoata waea, ka hoki anō te patunga ki roto i tōna ake anga.
5. He mea noa te tutu i waenganui i te hoa rangatira: He tohu tino kino o te tukino, ka pāngia te maha o ngā whare e te tutu a te hoa rangatira. I mōhio koe, kotahi i roto i te toru o ngā wāhine kua moe tāne e kī ana kua papakihia rātou e tā rātou tāne. I ngā wā tino kino, ka puta pea tēnei tutu a te hoa rangatira i te āhua o te moe tāne, te whāwhā rānei i roto i te marena, e ai ki te 28% o ngā wāhine i uiuitia i raro i te Rangahau Hauora Whānau ā-Motu 2015-16 tata nei.

Te pānui e pā ana: 5 Ngā Tohu o te Tūkino Hinengaro me Tūpato Koe, e Whakatūpato ana te Kaiwhakaora

He aha ngā take o te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga?

He aha te tūkino i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, e pāngia tonutia ana ngā tāngata tūkino e ngā mate hinengaro? I te nuinga o te wā, ka kitea he rerekē ngā mate hinengaro o ngā tāngata tūkino. Kāore te ariā o te 'hoatu me te tango' i roto i tā rātou papakupu. He hunga hiahiakore ēnei tāngata, ā, ko te arotahi noa ki 'au, ki ahau me ahau anō' i te ao. Heoi anō, te whakaatu i te tangata whakahihi kei te āhua koe he tangata whakapehapeha.

E whakaaro ana ēnei tāngata rawakore me mahi ia tangata, tae atu ki tā rātou hoa rangatira, whānau me ngā hoa, kia rite ki ō rātou hiahia me ā rātou tumanakohanga. Ko te korenga o tēnei kaupapa matua ka waiho hei pūtake o te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga o te tokorua. Anei ētahi o ngā tino take o te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga, e ai ki te rōpū tohunga Bonobology.

1. Te titiro ki te 'tūkino' he mea 'noa': He maha ngā wā, ko te hunga e tipu ake ana i roto i ngā āhuatanga tukino e kite ana i te tukino he mea noa i roto i te oranga o te tokorua. Koinei te take matua e tukino tonu ai ngā kaitukino i te hoa rangatira, me te kore e whara tinana. I a rātou e tamariki ana, tera pea kua kite ēnei kaitukino i ō rātou mātua e tukinotia ana i roto i ngā kare ā-roto, i ngā hinengaro, i ngā pūtea rānei, ā, ka mau tonu pea te huringa taua i roto i ā rātou ake marena. I ētahi atu wā, ko ngā tamariki e kite ana i te tutu a ngā mātua, e pāngia ana rānei e te tukino tinana, e kite ana i te tukino tinana hei huarahi anake ki te whakatau i ngā pakanga.
2. Te whakaaro nui ki te mana o te hoa rangatira: He tokomaha ngā tāne tukino e whakaaro ana he 'tika' ki ā rātou hoa rangatira, ā, e whakamārama ana i tēnei hei huarahi pai ki te whakahaere i tō rātou whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō, ki te tū motuhake i te taha pūtea, me te whakatupu i te tutu. E ai ki te whakapono o te hapori, e whakaaro ana rātou me whai mana rātou ki tā rātou hoa rangatira, ā, mā tēnei ka whai mana nui rātou i roto i te marena.
3. Te kore o te aroha: Nā te āhua whakahihi o te tangata tukino, ka nui rawa te aro ki a rātou anō, ā, kāore e aro ki te aroha ki ō rātou hoa, e mārama rānei ki ō rātou tirohanga. Ahakoa pēhea, kāore rātou i te rite ki te tuku i te painga o te ruarua ki tō rātou hoa. Ka ārai tēnei tirohanga taha-kotahi, ā, ka pā kino ki te marena.

Nō reira, i muri i te mōhio ki ngā āhuatanga katoa o te tukino i roto i te whanaungatanga, kua tae ki te wā tika ki te uiui mō te ahunga whakamua o tō whanaungatanga. Ki te whakaaro koe kei te ngana te kaipahua ki te aukati i a koe ki roto i tētahi huringa kino o te kino me ngā raruraru i roto i te whanaungatanga, kei konei a Bonobology hei āwhina.

Kei reira tā mātou rōpū kaitohutohu tohunga hei āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi, ki te wikitoria, me te whakaora i a koe i ngā whanaungatanga tukino. Nō reira, kia tuwhera ō whakaaro, kia whai hua ai tō ao.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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