10 Ngā Take e Uaua Ana Koe ki te Kimi i tētahi Hoa Wahine, me ngā Mea e 5 Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi

Kua roa koe e takakau ana, ā, te āhua nei kāore tō waimarie e pai haere ana. Tērā pea kua angitu koe i mua i roto i te whakaipoipo engari te āhua nei kāore e taea te kimi aroha i ēnei rā. Tērā pea kāore rawa he waimarie i a koe, ā, e hiahia ana koe kia mutu te mahi. Ahakoa pēhea, he tini ngā wāhine takakau e karapoti ana i a koe, nō reira he aha te uaua ki te kimi hoa wahine?

Ko te rongo pai, kāore koe i te mokemoke. He tokomaha kei te pāngia e tēnei āhuatanga i tēnei wā, e aro nui ana ki ngā whakaaro mō te #MōAkeAkeAke. Ko tētahi mahanga e taka ana tātou katoa i ētahi wā, ko te uaua ake o te kimi hoa wahine mā ngā tāne. Ahakoa he pono tēnei, he kore rānei, ehara i te mea nui. Ko te mea hei maumahara, kāore e tika kia tino uaua māu.

He aha te uaua ki te kimi i tētahi hoa wahine – 10 ngā take pea

Nā te aha rā te uaua ki te kimi hoa wahine? He uaua ki te tohu tika i te hē o te tangata, nā te mea he rerekē ia tangata. He maha ngā taurangi i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, kāore e taea te wehewehe i tēnei ki tētahi pūtaiao tūturu. Engari anei ētahi take pea e 10 e uaua ai koe ki te kimi hoa wahine.

1. Kei te whaia e koe te 'whakaaro' o te whakaipoipo

Ko tētahi raruraru e pā ana ki te tini o ngā tāne, ko te mea kia kitea rā anō e tātou tētahi e pai ana ki a tātou, kei te hiahia tonu tātou ki te whakaaro ki te whakaipoipo, ki te noho rānei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. I ahu mai i ngā whakaaro: "Ka kitea rānei e au tētahi hoa wahine?" "Nui atu tōku pouri kāore au e whiwhi hoa wahine!" Nō reira, ina haere tātou ki tētahi whakaipoipo, kāore tātou i te tino kite i taua tangata. Kei te mahi nui ō tātou roro ki te akiaki i a tātou kia kite i a rātou ko te putanga tino pai i a tātou i mua i tō tātou tūtakitanga ki a rātou.

Kei te aro nui hoki tātou ki te "kōrero i te mea tika kia kite ai tēnei kōtiro he tino pai ahau." Mēnā ka tika te mahi, ka kīia te nuinga o ngā tāne pēnei he "ataahua" he "mana rangatira" he "tama kino" rānei, engari he momo tinihanga, ā, ka ngaro te mahi tinihanga i te wā e tata ana. Ko te mea e kitea ana e te nuinga o ngā kōtiro he mea ātaahua ko te pono, ehara i te mahi whakaari. Heoi, mō te nuinga o tātou, he tino mārama te wairua whaiwhai e tukuna ana e tātou, ā, ka hohoro te whakararuraru i te nuinga o ngā kōtiro. He tino take noa tēnei o te mau tonu. te aroha koreutu.

2. Kei te ngana koe ki te akiaki i tētahi hononga

I ētahi wā, ka whakaipoipo tātou i tētahi tangata nā te mea kāore tātou e hiahia kia noho takakau. Nō reira, ka ngana tātou ki te akiaki i tētahi hononga kia whiwhi ai i tētahi hoa wahine. Ka mahi tātou i tēnei mā te ngana ki te whakatutuki i ngā mea e whakaarohia ana e tātou ko āna tumanakohanga mō tātou, ā, ka mutu ka kōrero, ka mahi hoki tātou i ngā mea kāore e taea e tātou te mahi i mua. Ka taea e koe te kī: "He pai ki ahau ngā rotarota slam mō ngā tau." "Āe, he pai ki ahau ngā ngeru!" "Ki taku whakaaro me tino tāne ngā tāne. He tika tāu, he whakama tetahi atu mea."

E hara ana tātou katoa i tēnei i tētahi wā. Ehara tēnei i te mea ka kino koe, engari ka hanga noa koe hei tangata. Kāore tetahi e hiahia ana kia noho mokemoke. Engari he aha te utu, ā, kia pēhea te roa ka manawanui koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga rūpahu hei mea noa iho? kāore e noho mokemoke anaKo te ngana ki te akiaki i tētahi hononga ka kore pea e whai hua ki tāu whāinga ki te waihanga i tētahi. Ka puta noa mai ngā hononga pono. Ko ngā whanaungatanga mō te wā roa e hiahia ana ki te whakapau kaha.

Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Huarahi hei Harikoa i a Koe Anake, hei Ārai hoki i ngā Kare ā-Mokemoke

3. Kei te ngana koe kia noho hei tangata pai, engari kaua e noho hei tangata pai

He rautaki noa tēnei i waenga i ngā tāne e uaua ana ki te kōrero ki ngā wāhine. Engari he mea motuhake ake i te "kōrero i te mea tika". He mahi whakaari tēnei hei whakaatu ki a ia he tangata 'pai' koe, me te tumanako ka whiriwhiri ia ki te whakaipoipo i a koe. Ko te raruraru he whakaari noa iho, ā, kāore e roa.

Waihoki, ina kei te noho koe "He tangata pai noa iho" i ngā wā katoa, he mea tino kitea ki ngā wāhine takakau. Ā, kātahi ka 'nohoia koe ki te rohe hoa'. Nō reira, ki te hiahia koe kia nui atu i te noho hei hoa, hei hoa mōhio rānei, me whakaaro anō koe ki tō huarahi.

4. Kei te rapu koe i ngā wāhi hē

He maha ngā tāngata takakau, me ngā mea hei mahi, he uaua ki te mōhio kei hea te huarahi ki te whakatau i ngā wāhineHei tauira, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi hoa wahine pumau hei hoa noho tahi ā tētahi rā, kāore pea koe e hiahia ki te haere ki ngā karapu me ngā pā, e kī ana i ngā wāhine tau kāreti e ngana ana ki te ngahau noa.

He rite tonu te āhua mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi. Ahakoa kua hua ake ngā whanaungatanga roa i te whakaipoipo ipurangi, he onge ēnei. Ki te nuinga o tātou, kāore he painga o te whakaipoipo ipurangi. Hei tīmatanga, ka hurihia te tangata e te ariā katoa hei taonga kei runga i te tahua. He maha ngā kōwhiringa, ā, he uaua, tata kore e taea, te whiriwhiri i te mea tika. Kei reira anō te raruraru e pā ana ki te tini o ngā wāhine – he pouakaroto kī tonu i ngā mea whakamataku e tino uaua ana ki te tirotiro kia kitea ai he tāne pai pērā i a koe. He tino rerekē te tūtaki ki ngā wāhine i te ao tūturu i te tūtaki ki a rātou i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te tūtaki ki te tangata me te kore he taupānga whakaipoipo

5. He taupatupatu ō kaupapa matua mō te whakaipoipo

Ahurea hononga He wāhanga nui tēnei o te ao whakaipoipo i ēnei rā. Nō reira, ahakoa kei te rapu hoa wahine koe, ka taea e te whakamatautauranga me te wehi kei ngaro koe te huarahi ki te whakapōrearea i tō whakaaro. He uaua hoki ki te kī he aha te mea e rapuhia ana e te wahine e haere tahi ana koe mēnā kāore ia e whakapuaki mārama ana i ana hiahia. Ka ārahi tēnei ki a koe ki te whakaaro ko tēhea te huarahi ka haere ai ngā mea, ā, ko te hua o tēnei ka pā kino ki ō taunekeneke ki a ia. Ki te whakaaro koe "he aha te uaua ki te kimi hoa wahine he rite ngā uara matua?", tangohia atu ngā hononga i roto i tō hinengaro.

6. Kei te rapu koe i ngā āhuatanga hē

Ko tētahi o ngā whakaaro tino whakanuia rawatia kua whakahēngia e ngā tohunga whakaipoipo ko te kukume o ngā mea rerekē. Nā tēnei kua hua ake he maha ngā whanaungatanga kino kua mutu ki te aituā. Hei tauira, ki te mea he tāne haereere koe, ā, e whai ana koe i tēnei tohutohu, ka rapu pea koe i tētahi kotiro huna. Ko te raruraru i muri mai mō tēnei te whanaungatanga whakamā me te whanaungatanga tuwhera koia tēnei, ka riri kōrua tetahi ki tetahi nā ngā āhuatanga o roto kāore e taea e kōrua te ārai.

Ahakoa ko ia tētahi o ngā wāhine tino ātaahua, ka riri koe nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia ki te haere ki waho. Ā, ka riri ia nā te mea kāore koe e hiahia ki te noho ki roto. Ka noho tēnei pakanga hei wāhanga o te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e kore e taea te kī, e kore e pumau. Nō reira, ahakoa kāore pea koe e hiahia ki tētahi he rite tonu tōna āhua ki tōu (tērā pea he hoha rawa atu i tō whakaaro), kāore hoki koe e hiahia ki te whai i tētahi he rerekē rawa atu i a koe. rangahau e whakaū ana ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine he nui ake ngā āhuatanga ōrite i ngā āhuatanga rerekē ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka noho tahi rātou.

7. Kei te whakaaro noa koe ki tō āhua

He tokomaha ngā tāne takakau e taka ana ki te mahanga o te whakaaro he hē kei roto i a rātou. Ko te "Kāore au i te roa rawa" me te "Kāore au i te pakari rawa" he whakautu ā-roto e puta pinepine ana ki te pātai "He aha te uaua ki te kimi hoa wahine?" Engari ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi hoa wahine, ehara i te hoa aroha, kāore ō āhua i te mea nui e ai ki tō whakaaro. Ae, me whakapaipai koe i a koe anō, me pupuri i a koe kia ora, kia pakari hoki, engari he iti ake te wāhi o te kukume tinana i tō whakaaro. Hei tāpiri, rangahau kua whakaatuhia e te rangahau ko te ataahua tinana ka awehia e ngā āhuatanga kore-tinana pēnei i te pono me te atawhai.

8. Ka wareware koe ki a koe anō

I tētahi atu taha, tera pea koe e whakaaro ana, "Kāore au e aro ki tōku āhua, ā, kāore hoki te kotiro tino tika e aro. Ka aroha ia ki ahau mōku." Engari kāore ia i te mōhio ki a koe, ā, ki te tae atu koe i tō rā tuatahi me te āhua kua ara ake i te moenga, tera pea ahakoa te kotiro tino tika māu, kāore he take e kite ai koe. haere i tua atu i te rā tuatahi ki a koe. E whakaatu ana i te kore whakaute i a koe anō. Mā te whakapaipai i a koe anō e whakaatu ana kei te aro nui koe ki te ātaahua mō tō hoa pea. Ā, e maioha ana ngā wāhine ki tētahi tāne e whakapau kaha ana ki tōna āhua.

9. Kei te pehia koe e ō āwangawanga

He maha ngā tāne e māharahara ana, e mea ana, "Nui atu tōku pouri kāore au e whiwhi hoa wahine! He aha te uaua ki te kimi hoa wahine?!" He kare ā-roto tēnei. He tino māharahara te noho takakau. Engari ko te raruraru, ko ō māharahara te mea e kore ai koe e whiwhi hoa wahine.

Nā te mea ka puta aua āwangawanga i roto i ngā whanonga kino pērā i te hae, te hiahia kia whakahaere, te hiahia nui, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pukuriri, me te whakawhirinaki tahi. Ko ēnei take ētahi o ngā tohu nui kāore koe e whiwhi hoa wahine – ki te kore koe e aro atu ki a rātou mā te mahi ā-roto, mā te rongoā hinengaro rānei.

10. Kāore anō kia aro atu koe, kia whakaae rānei ki ō raruraru hauora hinengaro

Nga pakanga hauora hinengaro Koinei pea te arai nui rawa atu i roto i te whakaipoipo. E ai ki tētahi rangahau, he nui te ōrau o ngā tāne i te hapori o te Hauāuru kua whiwhi i ngā rautaki arotau hinengaro e kore e pai ana te mahi, pērā i te kore e whiwhi tautoko tika, te inu nui i te waipiro hei whakaiti i te mamae o te kare ā-roto, te whakakahore i te mamae me te 'mitimiti', te noho mokemoke, te whakaiti rānei i te hononga pāpori i ngā wā o te pouri.

Ko ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro ka puta mai i te manukanuka, te riri, te ngākau pouri, me te whiu i a koe anō, ka uaua ake te kimi i te aroha, te whakatata atu rānei ki ngā kōtiro. Mā te aro atu ki ēnei take, te mahi i roto i tō mamae, te kimi i ō hiahia me ō rohe – ka taea e ēnei katoa te āwhina i a koe kia pai ake te hono atu ki a koe anō, ā, nō reira, kia ngāwari ake te whakatata atu ki ngā wāhine takakau. Ka māmā ake hoki te tūtaki ki te iwi whānui.

5 Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi

Ki te pāngia koe e tētahi o ēnei āhuatanga, ā, kei te whakaaro koe, "Nā te nui o ngā mahi hei mahi māku anō, ka kitea rānei e au he hoa wahine?" āe, ka kitea e koe. Kaua e mutu. Me te manawanui, anei ngā mea e rima ka taea e koe te mahi hei puta atu i tō rohe whakamarie me te whakanui ake i ō tupono ki te whiwhi hoa wahine.

1. Ātete i te hiahia ki te whai i tētahi whanaungatanga

Waiho tō kaupapa mahi ki te tatau, kia noho ko koe tonu. E kiia ana ko te kēmu whakaipoipo, engari ehara i te kēmu e tika ana kia toa koe. He wheako noa iho e tohaina ana e koe ki tētahi atu tangata. Ā, ki te arahi taua wheako ki tētahi mea nui ake, he mea pai tēnā. Engari ki te kore, ehara i te mutunga o te ao. Ka taea e koe te ngana anō i muri mai. Kia maumahara ko te wahine e hiahia ana koe he tangata, ehara i te taonga.

2. Kati te whakaari i tētahi mea hei "tiki i te kotiro"

Ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te noho hei tangata rangatira, hei tangata pai rānei, kei te whakaari koe i tētahi mea, e pai ai pea mō ngā hoa aroha, ngā hononga pō kotahi rānei. Engari ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi hoa wahine, arā, he whanaungatanga roa, he pai ake te noho ko koe anake, me ō hapa katoa. Nā te mea ko te āhua o tōu tuakiri ka kore e eke ki te taumata e hiahiatia ana. I tētahi wā, ka puta mai tō tuakiri tūturu, ā, ka pōhēhē tō hoa wahine kua tinihangatia. Kāore e hiahiatia ana e ngā tāne māia, pono hoki te whakaari i tētahi mea, ā, koinei ēnei. ngā āhuatanga o ngā tāne e tino kukume ana i ngā wāhine.

3. Whakatikatika i ō kaupapa matua mō te whakaipoipo

E ai ki te kōrero mō ngā kaupapa matua o te whakaipoipo, ka taea te tuku i te wairua o te ahurea hononga ahakoa kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea mō te wā roa. Engari he huarahi whakangaro tēnei nā te mea kei te noho puku koe i te wā o te whakaipoipo mā te tatari kia kite i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e tō hoa rangatira. Ki te hiahia koe ki tētahi hoa wahine, kia pono ki te whakahē i tētahi whanaungatanga moepuku kore here mēnā koinā te mea e hiahiatia ana e tō hoa. Ko taua āwangawanga moepuku tuatahi ehara i te mea kei te aroha koe, he tohu noa iho tēnei kei te pirangi koe.

4. Kimihia ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe mai i tētahi whanaungatanga

Kāore te whakataukī tawhito "he rerekē te āhua e kukume ana" i te whakaaro nui pērā i tā tātou i whakaaro ai i mua. Ko te hunga e rerekē ana tetahi ki tetahi, kāore e pai te noho tahi, ā, pērā anō hoki mō ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Engari i mua i te whakarārangi i ngā āhuatanga e hiahiatia ana e koe i roto i tētahi hoa, tuhia he rārangi o ngā mea e kawea mai ana e koe ki te tēpu. Kei roto hoki i tēnei ko ngā mea kino pēnei i: tērā pea he iti tō whakaaro ki a koe anō e whakaaturia ana e koe ki ētahi atu.

He mea tēnei e hiahia ana te wahine ki te mōhio mō tāna hoa tāne, me ōna pūmanawa anō hoki (ā, ka hiahia anō hoki koe ki te mōhio ki aua pūkenga anō hoki), ā, he huarahi pai rawa atu tēnei ki te kimi hoa pai.

Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Hiahia Hiranga o te Hinengaro i roto i te Hononga

5. Mahi i a koe anō (i roto, i waho hoki)

Ko ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro kāore anō kia whakatauhia tētahi o ngā tohu nui rawa atu kāore koe e whiwhi hoa wahine. Ko te whakaaro kino mōu ake i roto i ō whakaaro me tō reo tinana pea te mea e pupuri ana i a koe kia noho takakau tonu. Ka taea e te rongoā hinengaro te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ēnei raruraru mā te whakawātea i a koe i ō uruparenga whara. Kia mōhio koe ki te mahi i tēnā, ka mutu te mahi whakaipoipo hei mahi uaua rawa atu māu i nāianei. Ko ētahi o ngā raruraru ka pā ki a koe i roto i tō haerenga hauora hinengaro ko:

Te manukanuka ā-hapori

Te manukanuka ā-hapori He wheako noa tēnei mō te tini e raru ana ki te hauora hinengaro tae noa ki te wā e tata kore rawa ai e taea te titiro kanohi i a koe e kōrero ana ki tētahi. Ka taea e te rongoā hinengaro te āwhina i a koe ki te whakawhanake i ngā pūkenga pāpori e hiahiatia ana e koe hei whakanui ake i ō tupono ki te whiwhi hoa wahine. Ka taea hoki e te tohunga hauora hinengaro te āwhina i a koe ki te whakamārama i ō kaupapa matua ina tae mai ki te whakaipoipo, ki te whakamana i ō uauatanga, me te āwhina i a koe ki te whakapuaki i ō hiahia hauora me te kore whakamā, ka taea e tēnei te āwhina nui ki te whakaiti/whakahaere i tō manukanuka.

Te mamae kaore i whakatauhia

Ahakoa he rawaka ō pūkenga pāpori, tera pea ka pāngia tonu koe e ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro pēnei i te pouri, te mate bipolar, te mate obsessive-compulsive, me ētahi atu. Ko te mamae o te noho me te mate hauora hinengaro i roto i te hapori ableist he mea e pāngia ana e koe i te rā katoa, ā, ka pā ki tō kaha ki te whai hononga nui. Kia tīmata koe ki te mahi i tō mamae, me te mārama ake ki tō hauora hinengaro, he nui te tūponotanga ka kitea e koe tētahi e whakaae katoa ana ki taua wāhanga o koe, e tautoko ana hoki i a koe i roto i taua raruraru.

Te pānui e pā ana: Taku Tūtakitanga ki te Pouri: Ngā Whakaaro o te Wairua Pakaru

Te whakama me te mauahara

Ko tētahi atu mea e raru ana te nuinga o te hunga whai raruraru hauora hinengaro ko te whakama. Ko te whakama mō ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro ka puta mai i ētahi atu huarahi. Tērā pea ka kata koe mō te koretake, te hauora rānei o tētahi, te 'mangere' rānei, he ahua kino atu i tō whakaaro. Kāore he take ki te kī, kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te noho tahi me tētahi tangata e tawai tonu ana i a rātou. Nō reira, peia atu te whakama, ā, mātakitaki me pēhea te mahi. ka whakapakari i ō whanaungatanga.

Te whakaaro whaiaro

Ko tētahi wāhanga o tō haerenga ki te hauora hinengaro pai ake ko te tiaki i tō āhua. Ahakoa he pono ko te mea o roto te mea nui atu i te āhua, mā te tiaki i tō āhua ka taea e koe te whakapai ake i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō. Ahakoa kāore koe i manaakitia ki ngā ira o ngā whetu kiriata, ka taea e koe te pupuri i tō hauora tinana (kāore e hiahiatia he mema whare takaro) me te whai makawe huatau. Ahakoa he āhua papaku tēnei, he nui te āwhina ki te whakaiti i tō kōrero kino ki a koe anō, me te hoatu i te whai wāhi ki a koe me ngā wāhine ataahua. Kāore he kino o te kakara pai.

Mena kei te rapu koe i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, ka taea e koe te whakarite i tētahi hui tuihono me tētahi o ā mātou ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro i Bonobology.

Ki te mea he uaua ki a koe te whakaipoipo i ngā wāhine, tirohia hei wāhi tēnei hei tipu ake māu hei tangata. Nō reira, ki te pārekareka ki a koe tētahi o ēnei mea, whakamātauria, whakapakari i a koe anō, whakapuaki i ō hiahia whanaungatanga me tō hauora me te kore he hara, ā, whakaaturia mai kāore i te uaua ake te kimi hoa wahine mā ngā tāne.

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E 18 ngā tohu wairua e tohaina ana e te tohunga hinengaro e ngaro ana tō hoa o mua i a koe, ā, e hiahia ana kia hoki mai koe

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.