Me pēhea te wikitoria i te aroha – 18 Tohutohu Whaihua

Ehara i te ara ngāwari te ako ki te wikitoria i te aroha. Kāore te aroha i rite ki te hinga ki te aroha. He kare ā-roto kaha ake, pumau ake hoki te aroha. He rerekē ngā aroha, ā, he momo hoa rangatira e hiahiatia ana e koe. Ahakoa tōna āhua koretake, ka taea e ngā aroha te whakahaere nui rawa i tō hinengaro.

Ina pērā te āhua, he tino uaua te wareware i tētahi kāore nei ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe. Ahakoa ētahi arai me ngā arai i te ara, ka noho pōturi tonu koe i tēnei haerenga. Heoi, i te nuinga o te wā, koinei te ara tika hei whai mēnā kāore koe e kite i te heke mai tūturu, i te whanaungatanga pea rānei ki tēnei tangata.

Kei konei a Amjad Ali Mohammad , he tohunga hinengaro tohutohu (MSc Psychology, PG Diploma in Guidance and Counseling me te Diploma in Community Mental Health for Psychologists), he tohunga ki ngā huarahi auaha, pūtaiao, me te pūnaha i roto i ngā mara o te hauora, te mātauranga, te whanaungatanga, me te tohutohu mahi, hei āwhina i a tātou ki te mārama ki ētahi o ngā mahi nui o tēnei mahi.

18 Tohutohu Whaihua hei Whakamutu i te Aroha

I te nuinga o te wā, ka puta he aroha ki tētahi e kitea ana e koe he ātaahua. He mea whakahihiri pea i ngā rā tōmua kua whakaarohia kētia e koe te whanaungatanga tino pai , engari ki te rerekē te whakaaro o taua tangata ki a koe, ka huri wawe hei tūmomo mōrearea hinengaro. Ki te mutu tō whakaaro mōna, mō tētahi hēkona, ka titiro ki te pikitia katoa mai i tētahi tirohanga tūturu, tera pea ka kite koe he pai ake te tuku i tētahi hiahia kāore i utua.

I tētahi atu taha, tera pea kei te raru koe i tētahi tangata e arohaina ana e koe, i whara kino rānei i a koe, i tētahi rānei kua whai hoa kē. Tērā pea i kitea e koe tētahi e arohaina ana e koe i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, ā, i whaki i ō kare ā-roto, engari i hunaia koe e rātou. Whakaarohia, te nui o te wā e moemoeā ana koe mō tētahi tangata e whakahoki mai ana i ō kare ā-roto, kāore rānei, he pai te utu?

E ai ki te kaituhi, a Kevin Darné, "Ko te whakakorenga te hoa kāore koe i mōhio e hiahiatia ana e koe. He maha ngā wā ka penapena i tō wā me tō moni." Nō reira, i mua i tō rongonga i ngā kare ā-roto kaha ake mō tēnei tangata, kua whakaratohia e mātou ēnei pūkenga 18 hei āwhina i a koe ki te neke whakamua:

1. Kia maumahara koe ehara tēnei i te aroha

Ko te aroha ki tētahi tangata ehara i te mea ko tētahi o ngā wāhanga tuatahi o te whanaungatanga . He mea nui ake mō te hiahia me te kukume. He roa tonu te ara mō te piripono. Ka tūtaki koe ki tētahi tangata hou. Ko tā rātou hikoi, kōrero, kata, ka miharo noa koe, ā, ka hoki mai te pūrerehua rere ki roto i tō puku.

Heoi, he roa te wā e pau ana ki te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto, me te waiho i te harikoa tuatahi ki te taha. Koinā te mea me maumahara koe ki a koe anō. Ahakoa he rite ki te aroha i tēnei wā, he hiahia noa iho pea i puta mai i te ranunga o te harikoa me ngā homoni – e rua ēnei ka taea e koe te awe. Anei te whakamārama a Amjad i te rerekētanga i waenga i te aroha me te ngākau aroha:

• Ko te aroha he aroha poto, he kaha hoki ki tētahi tangata, ā, ko te nuinga he wā poto noa iho te ahuareka e tukuna ana.
• I tētahi atu taha, ko te aroha he kare ā-roto nui o te aroha hōhonu e mau tonu ana mō te wā roa
• Ko te aroha e ahu mai ana i te kukume tinana me te hihiri anake
• Ko te aroha e ahu mai ana i te whakaute, te manaaki, te whakawhirinaki, te māramatanga, me te aroha

Tohutohu Bono: Me i aro rātou, kua aro mai rātou, engari ki te kore, kāore he aroha e pā ana. Kāore ianei taua haki whero e ranea ana kia haere atu koe?

2. Me pēhea te whakamutu i te aroha ki tētahi tāne/kōtiro? Kia whai whakaaro tika

Kia pono tātou, he maha ngā wā ka ngawari te aroha ki tētahi tangata nā te mea kāore tātou i te mōhio ki a ia. E ai ki te hinengaro o te aroha, ka puta te aroha ki tētahi tangata ina tukuna atu e tātou ō tātou ake whakaaro me ō tātou uara ki a ia, me te tumanako kei a ia ētahi āhuatanga.

Ko tō rātou aura tino pai e takai ana i ō tātou mahunga, e pupuri ana i a tātou kia mau tonu, kia kore ai e taea e tātou te aro ki ngā kōrero ruarua. Kāore au e kī ana me tirotiro e koe ō rātou āhuatanga kino. Engari ki te whakaaroaro koe ki tēnā, ka kite koe kāore he painga o te mihi ki tētahi tangata kāore koe i te tino mōhio. He pai ake te noho kore i a rātou mēnā ka tangohia e rātou tō hinengaro i ngā mea nui o te ao.

Tohutohu pai: Mātakitaki i a rātou mō tētahi wā, ā, kia mōhio koe ki a rātou, me whakamahi i te arorau hei kimi i te huarahi pai hei anga whakamua. Kia pono ki a koe anō, ā, kaua e aroha ki tētahi nā te mea kei te hoha koe, kei te ātaahua rānei tō rātou āhua.

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3. Tīmata te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata

Mā te tawhiti me te whakapau kaha ki tētahi atu mea, ki tētahi atu mea rānei, ka taea pea te whakakore i tō aroha. He aha koe ka manukanuka ai ki tētahi e kore rawa e titiro mai ki a koe i tētahi pāti, ā, ka mutu, ka kino ake tō wairua? He mea pai rawa atu tēnei mēnā kei te whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea te whakakore i te aroha ki tētahi hoa e hiahia ana kia noho hei hoa, kaua e nui atu?"

Ka nui ake tō kitenga i a rātou, ka nui ake pea tō kukume ki a rātou. Engari ki te mea kei hea atu tō kaha me tō hinengaro, ka mutu tō aro atu ki a rātou. Nō reira, kati te titiro ki tō hoa aroha i te wā o te akomanga, engari me rapu huarahi kē atu hei tūtaki ki ngā tāne /wāhine! He nui ngā ika i te moana. Ki te mea he tangata kē atu kei te hiahia ki a koe, ā, e mea ana kia motuhake koe, kaua e wareware ki a rātou.

Tohutohu: Kaua e whakaipoipo i ētahi atu hei mea kia hae ai tō hoa aroha. Me mahi mō tō harikoa me tō oranga hinengaro. Kia tuwhera ki te tūhura i ō whiringa me te whakaae ki te aro e tika ana māu.

4. Whakamahia te ture kore-pā

Ki te mea kei te tino kaha rawa atu tō hiahia ki te aroha, kua tae pea te wā ki te whakahaere i ngā mea, kia kaha hoki ki a koe anō. E mōhio ana mātou he uaua ki te wareware i tētahi i arohaina e koe. Engari kia kore ai koe e mamae, ka tūtohu mātou kia whakamātauria te ture kore-pā . Awhitia noa hei huarahi noho. Kāore e roa, ka mōhio koe he tino whai hua te whakataukī 'kāore e kitea, kāore e mahara'.

• Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te motu i ngā whakapā me ngā kōrero katoa ki tō hoa aroha kia memeha ra ano ō kare ā-roto.
• Kāore he waea, kāore he karere kuputuhi, kāore he kōrero mā roto i ngā hoa, ā, kāore hoki he tūtaki ā-taupānga ki a rātou.
• I tēnei wā, kaua e inu waipiro nui, kaua hoki e aro nui ki tō hoa aroha i te rā roa.
• Kia pukumahi, kia wātea ngā mea katoa e arohaina ana e koe, ā, me tūtaki pea ki ētahi atu tāngata hou i runga ipurangi.

E mea ana a Amjad, "Ka pāngia pea koe e te kore aro ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. I muri i te nui rawa o tō aro ki a rātou, ki te mutu ohorere tō aro ki tō e arohaina ana e koe, ā, ka tīmata koe ki te kore aro ki a rātou, ka ngana rātou ki te whakatata atu ki a koe kia mōhio ai he aha koe i wehe atu ai i a rātou. I tētahi atu taha, tera pea ka whakaaro rātou kāore koe e aro ki a rātou, ā, ka wehe atu hoki i a koe. Ahakoa pēhea, me pakari tō upoko."

Tohutohu: Ki te pai tō wairua i muri i te korenga e taunekeneke ki a rātou mō tētahi wā, tera pea he hiahia noa iho. Kāore e roa, ka mōhio koe kāore koe e ngaro i a rātou, ā, ka rite koe ki te hoki ki te mahi.

5. Haereere ki te hunga e arohaina ana e koe

"Me pēhea te wikitoria i te aroha?" e whakaaro ana koe. Ina he aroha tōu ki tētahi kāore e tino aro ki a koe, ka pā kino ki a koe anō, ka puta hoki te pouri nui. Nō reira, me whai wāhi koe ki te whakaputa i ō kare ā-roto katoa e puritia ana, me te tuku i ō whakaaro kia maringi. Koinei te wā ka tahuri koe ki ō hoa pai kua noho hei tautoko kaha, ki tētahi rānei kua pāngia pea e ngā raruraru ōrite i roto i ō rātou ake ao.

Whakapono mai, i ētahi wā, he pai ake tēnei i te haere ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro rānei. Whakapaua te wā ki ō hoa tata , haere rānei ki te whare o tō whaea – ko tāu e pai ai. Kōrerohia me te pono te āhua o tō whakaaro kua warewarehia koe, kua kore e tika, kua kore e arohia, me te kino o tō hiahia ki te muku i tēnei tangata i roto i tō hinengaro.

Tohutohu: He tino āwhina te whakapuaki i ōu ngākau. Kōrero ki tētahi e whakawhirinaki ana koe, ā, mātakitaki i te mamae e memeha haere ana.

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6. Whakarongo ki ngā waiata harikoa mēnā kei te pōuri koe

Ko ngā waiata pouri he mea hanga mō te mamae o te ngākau pouri. Ki te whakarongo koe ki ngā waiata pouri, ka noho tonu pea koe i roto i taua hinengaro mō te wā roa atu i tō whakaaro. Whakaranua. Ki te mea he tangata pōuri koe pērā i ahau, ka taea e koe te hanga i tētahi rārangi waiata 'getting over a crush'. Me whakatangi noa rānei i ētahi waiata rap hei pupuri i a koe kia hihiri!

Tohutohu Bono: He mana whakaora tō te puoro. Ka taea e ētahi puoro whakahari te arahi ki ētahi whakaaro kounga. Mā tēnei ka taea e koe te wareware i tētahi kāore he kare ā-roto ki a koe.

7. "He aha taku uara?" Arotahi ki a koe anō i te tuatahi

Hurihia tō titiro mai i te karakia whakapakoko tonu ki tētahi atu tangata, ka tīmata ki te whakaaro ki a koe anō. He maha ngā wā ka wareware tātou ki te ariā o te aroha ki a koe anō ina aro nui tātou ki ngā whakaaro o tētahi atu. Koinei te wā tino pai hei whakahaere i a koe, hei whakanui ake i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō.

Kei te maumahara koe ki te rārangi kōrero a Stephen Chbosky, "E whakaae ana mātou ki te aroha e tika ana mā mātou"? Koinei te pānga o te kore whakapono ki tō whakatau – ka whakaae koe ki te iti iho. Kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau he nui te pānga o te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō ki te pai o te whanaungatanga me te harikoa o tō hoa. Nō reira, kia whaia ai koe e ō hoa aroha ā muri ake nei, me:

• Tuhia he rārangi o ngā āhuatanga e tino whakanuia ana e koe
• Kia pakari ake ō rohe i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha me ērā atu whanaungatanga; ako ki te kī 'kāo'
• Panahia ō rohe, whakamātauria ngā wero hou, ā, kia whakahīhī ki tō ahunga whakamua
• Kati rawa te whakataurite i a koe ki ētahi atu
• Whakamahi i ngā tikanga whakaū pai i ia rā

Tohutohu Pai: Tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou; kimi hoa hou. Engari kia maumahara ki tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō i mua i te tīmatanga o te whai i tētahi. I ētahi wā, kia ngaro ai tō aroha ki tētahi hoa me te kore e kōrero atu ki a rātou, me whakamahara koe i a koe anō ki ngā take katoa e pai ai koe ki a koe anō.

8. Me pēhea te whakakore i te aroha i whakakahoretia koe? Whakakorikori tinana

He mea whakahihiri, āe? Mā te whakakorikori tinana auau ka taea e koe te wikitoria i tēnei moemoeā aroha taha-kotahi? Ina kore tātou e whakakorikori tinana, ka pōuri tātou, ka ngenge hoki. I ētahi wā, ko te wareware ki tētahi kua whai hoa wahine/tāne, he ngāwari noa iho, pērā i te tuku i aua endorphins.

Mā te whakangungu tinana ka whakaoho ake i ō homoni harikoa, ka whakahihiko, ka hihiri hoki koe. Nō reira, kia mutu ai te aroha ki a koe anō , me tahuri atu koe ki tētahi mahi whakangungu tinana, kia pai ai te āhua o te tinana, kia pai ai te noho.

Tohutohu: Kāore e hiahiatia kia tino kaha, kia tino hoha rānei te whakakori tinana. Me mahi noa i tētahi mea hei whakaoho i tō ngākau kia wātea ai tō hinengaro. Nā wai i mōhio ko ngā dumbbells te otinga.

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8. Whakaarohia tēnei hei wheako ako

Hei whakamahara i ngā kupu whakahihiri a Steve Maraboli, te kaituhi, "Tangihia. Murua. Akohia. Neke atu. Tukua ō roimata kia whakamakuku i ngā purapura o tō harikoa ā muri ake nei." Ina kitea tātou i roto i tētahi āhuatanga me te putanga ako, me tahuri tātou ki te whakamārama pai i taua āhuatanga. Ko te ako tonu ko te tipu.

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe he mea ngaro koe, kia mōhio koe kāore koe e tika ana kia whiwhi i te wā me te wāhi o tō hoa aroha. Kāore he aha mēnā kāore rātou e pai ki a koe. Ki te mea kua tukinotia koe, mā te wheako koe e ako ki te tono i te aroha e tika ana māu, ā, kia kaua e whakawhirinaki ngāwari ki a koe anō ā muri ake nei. Kaua e whakaaroaro ki te hē o te mahi ki a koe anō. Kaua e whakapoauau i a koe anō ki te pātai "He aha ahau?". Engari, akohia, kia pai ake ai tō putanga ake o koe.

Tohutohu Pai: Mā ngā akoranga o te ao koe e āwhina ki te tipu hei tangata. Hei whakakore i te aroha ki tētahi hoa me te kore e kōrero atu, hei neke atu rānei me te kore e mutu te aroha i whakamahia koe e tētahi i aroha ai, whakaarohia he tūāpapa mō te ao, kaua he mea kē atu.

10. Mahia tāu ake mahi

He mea whakamiharo te aro ki a koe anō, me te whakapau i tō wā katoa ki te mahi i tāu ake mea. Ehara tēnei i te huarahi noa iho hei whakakore i te aroha ki a koe, engari hei wikitoria i ngā raruraru katoa e pā mai ana ki a koe. Ahakoa he hokohoko tuihono, he peita anō rānei i tētahi pakitara hoha i roto i tō rūma – he nui ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi. Akohia he pūkenga hou, whawhai mō taua whakatairanga kua roa e tatari ana. Hei whakamutu i te aroha ki tētahi hoa , haere ki waho ka tīmata ki te whakangaro i a ia i te mahi!

Tohutohu pai: Whakatenatenahia koe ki te mahi i ngā mea ka puta he hua pai, kia iti ai te wāhi hei whakaaroaro nui mō tō hoa aroha.

11. Kaua e riri ki tō hoa aroha

Ki te mea he tangata whakakake, he tangata hiahia nui tō hoa aroha, tera pea ka whakamahia e rātou tō āhua aroha. Ina rongo koe kua tinihangatia, kua whakamahia rānei koe, he tino uaua ki te wareware i tō aroha ki tētahi, inā koa mēnā i haere tahi kōrua, i te mea rānei he maha ō kōrua kitenga i a ia.

Tērā pea ka riri koe. Ka hiahia koe kia utua e rātou te tukino katoa. E kitea ana i roto i ngā rangahau he hononga tata kei waenganui i te rapu utu me te makona o te ngākau, te whakamarie rānei. Engari ehara i te mea pai rawa atu tēnei mahi nā te mea ka waiho he kuaha tuwhera mō te rapu utu, ka taea ai e koe te whara nui atu. Ā, tērā pea ka hoki mai tō hinengaro ki te ngau i a koe i muri mai. He tohutohu pai tā tā mātou tohunga mō tēnei wā:

• Ngāna kia kaha te hinengaro me te wairua, ā, me kōrero ki tētahi tohunga whanaungatanga mēnā e whakaaro ana koe he āwhina tēnei.
• Kia māia, kia mahara hoki he nui ake tō kaha i tēnei āhuatanga uaua
• Kaua e wareware ko te rapu utu, ko te e ngana ana ki te rapu utu i tētahi hoa aroha o mua e kore e memeha tō mamae; engari, ka whakararuraru noa iho i te take

Tohutohu: Kāore he take o te mauahara ki tētahi kāore he āmua mōu. Tērā pea ka roa ake te wā e wareware ai koe i a ia, engari kaua e noho tonu ki roto i tō rārangi te pupuri i ngā kare ā-roto kino.

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12. Hurihia tō whakaaro mō te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga

He maha ngā wā, ka pekepeke tātou mai i tētahi aroha ki tētahi atu nā ngā hapa o roto i ā tātou whakaaro. E hiahia nui ana tātou ki ngā whanaungatanga me te aroha, ā, i te wā tonu ka kitea e tātou tētahi tangata e tika ana mō tō tātou wā, ka whakapau kaha tātou ki taua tangata. He mea ataahua te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga me te aroha. Engari kaua e tukua kia waiho hei ngakaukore e meinga ai koe kia oma.

E mea ana a Amjad, "Ki te kore kōrua i whakaae tahi he taea te whai hononga, ka taea e tō āhua pukuriri te motu i tō hononga ki taua tangata e arohaina ana. Ki te rite ō kōrua whakaaro mō te whakaipoipo, he mea pai pea tēnā. Engari ki te kite noa tō hoa i a kōrua e arohaina ana, me huri tō whakaaro ka haere atu."

Tohutohu pai: He tangata tika tā te katoa e tatari ana ki a rātou. Taria kia kitea rā anō rātou e koe. Kaua e akiaki i ngā mea i mua i tō rātou wā.

13. Tangohia rātou i roto i ō pāpāho pāpori

Ka tāia ngā mea e mātakitakihia ana e tātou e te pāpāho pāpori i a tātou e panuku ana ki roto i te putunga raraunga o ō tātou hinengaro. Mā te titiro tonu ki ā rātou pikitia, ka kukume tonu koe ki a rātou. Hei ārai i tēnā, āraia, mukua, whakakorea rānei te whai – me mahi i tāu e hiahia ana kia tangohia atu i ō whāngai pāpāho pāpori. He mea nui tēnei mēnā kei te raru koe i te raruraru o te wikitoria i tētahi aroha e kitea ana e koe i ia rā i runga ipurangi. Ka nui ake tō pai, whakawhirinaki mai ki a mātou.

Tohutohu: He pai ake te whakakore i te tūponotanga o te kite i tō hoa aroha mā te tango i ngā paitini mai i tō whāngai. Mā tēnei, ka whakaitihia e koe tō ake hiahia ki te kite i tā rātou e mahi ana.

14. Kaua e mahi i ngā mea hei kukume i tō rātou aro

Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi whakamuri e whakakorea ai e ō tātou ngākau pouri ngā aroha ko te whai i ngā whanonga rapu aro . Ehara i te mea ka mahia tēnei e tātou hei whakamātau i taua aro kua roa, engari hei mea kia hiahia mai rātou ki a tātou i te wā kua mutu tā tātou hiahia ki a rātou. Ko taua whakaaro rangatira i ahu mai i ngā kare ā-roto kua whakatauhia, ā, ka whakararu kino i tō tipu. Kaua e whakaatu noa i a koe anō me te ngana kia noho hei diva kāore e taea te whakatutuki kia hiahia mai rātou ki a koe.

Tohutohu: Kaua e mutu ki te mahi i ngā mea kuware, ngā mea pouri nā te mea kāore koe i arohia e te tangata i arohaina e koe. Kia mau te whakaute ki a koe anō, kātahi ka haere atu.

15. Kawea mai he tirohanga ki ō āwangawanga

He moumou kaha te manukanuka mō tētahi tangata kāore koe e tino mihia ana, pērā i tō whakaaro. Heoi anō, ka ngawari noa iho tātou te taka ki roto i tēnei mahanga manukanuka. He mea porangi te āhua o te tangata kāore e nui te whakaaro ki a tātou ka taea te whakararu i a tātou. He mea nui kia ata tangohia atu ēnei kare ā-roto kāore e hiahiatia. Engari kaua e takoto noa i te moenga me te ngākau taumaha, engari me whakamahara koe ki a koe anō he iti noa iho te hiranga o tēnei wā poto, me tō hiranga, ā, ka mau tonu.

Tohutohu: Waiho ō whakaaro mō ngā take nui kei waho. Ka whai pānga anō tēnei ki a koe i muri i te marama kotahi? I muri i te ono marama? I muri i te tau kotahi? E rua tau?

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau mēnā kei te aroha koe ki tētahi e noho tahi ana

16. Me pēhea te whakakore i te aroha ki tētahi hoa? Kaua e whakaoho i te hae

Mā te whakaatu i tētahi hoa aroha hou ki a koe, ka hae ia ki a koe. Engari, he mea kino tēnei, ka taka noa koe ki roto i te rua rāpeti mā te whakaaro tonu ki ā rātou whakaaro. Nō reira, ahakoa ko Alan tō hoa aroha i te mahi i mua, ehara i te mea ka kata nui koe me Steve i ngā hui mahi katoa kei reira a Alan. Kia mahara, kāore he aha ki ā rātou whakaaro, ki ā rātou mahi rānei. He mahi koretake te ngana ki te awe i ō rātou whakaaro.

Tohutohu: Kāore e taea e koe te mea kia hae te tangata kāore he kare ā-roto ki a koe. Ātete atu ki aua āhuatanga, ā, me mahi i ngā mea pai ake i roto i tō oranga. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te mahi kaha kia pai ai te tangata tika ki a koe.

17. Poroporoaki ki ngā horopaki whakaaro i roto i tō hinengaro

Mā te aroha nui ki a koe ka arahi pea koe ki ētahi moemoeā nui. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro i tētahi heke mai me rātou. Mēnā rānei ka whakaarohia e koe ngā āhuatanga ātaahua ka whakahokia mai tō aroha, ā, ka tino aroha nui rātou ki a koe. Kati i reira, ka ngana ki te mārama me pēhea koe e mau ai i tēnei wā o te koretake . Nā te mea kāore tētahi o aua mea i te pono, i te pai rānei mōu.

E whakamārama ana a Amjad, "He pai te moemoeā ki tētahi taumata hei whakanui i te harikoa me te koa mō tō aroha. Engari ki te nui rawa, ā, ka tupu tonu, ka puta he raruraru nui. Ka taea e ia te whakararuraru i a koe mai i ō whāinga oranga me ngā mahi nui o ia rā pēnei i tō mahi, umanga, mātauranga, whānau, me ētahi atu. He mea nui te whai rohe me ngā herenga."

Tohutohu Bono: Puritia te aroha pūrākau i roto i tō ao mō tētahi wā. Hoki atu ki te ao tūturu – he iti noa te panonitanga, engari ka taea te āwhina nui ki te pupuri i tō hinengaro kia mārama.

18. Rapua he awhina ngaio

E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ko te hunga e mokemoke ana i roto i ngā āhuatanga whānau, i ngā whanaungatanga aroha koretake rānei, ka whiwhi i te wairua harikoa i te whai i tētahi aroha. Nā, he mea pai tēnā, he karanga āwhina rānei? Ka whakaaro te tangata. He uaua ki te whakatau i ēnei āhuatanga kare ā-roto ko koe anake. He mea whakaaro nui kia whakaritea he wā hui ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro haumanu i runga i te wā poto.

Tohutohu a Bono: Kāore he whakama ki te tono āwhina. Nō reira, kaua e ātete ina hiahia koe ki te rapu tohutohu ngaio. Hei whakamōhio atu, kei konei tonu ā mātou kaitohutohu mai i te rōpū Bonobology hei āwhina i a koe.

Nā, he aha ō whakaaro whakamutunga mō te whakakore i te aroha? Tērā pea kei te arotake anō koe i ō kare ā-roto mō taua tangata. Tērā pea ka kite koe ahakoa kei reira tonu ngā kare ā-roto, ka pai noa iho koe. He tangata ātaahua noa iho rātou (ā, he tangata hototahi pea). Engari ka puta mai tētahi tangata hou, he tangata e whakahoki mai ana i ō kare ā-roto, kaua e manukanuka.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te marama o Hune 2023. 

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Me pēhea taku whakamāori i a au anō i taku ngana ki te kukume i taku i aroha ai

40 Ngā Mea Hei Kōrero Ki Tō Hoa Aroha

Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te aroha koe ki tētahi – 17 ngā tohu tino pono

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.