Me Hoatu e Au he Wāhi ki a Ia - 9 Ngā Tohu Hei Whakaaroaro

Porohia te aroha

He whai wāhitanga anō – Me hoatu, me kore rānei e hoatu? Kua tae koe ki tētahi wāhi o tō whanaungatanga e whakaaro ana koe, "Me hoatu anō e au he whai wāhitanga ki a ia?". I mahi ia i tētahi mea hei whara, hei whakapataritari rānei i a koe, engari kāore koe e mōhio me aha koe ināianei. Kaua e manukanuka. Kei konei mātou hei ārahi i a koe pērā i ngā wā katoa. E mōhio ana koe kāore mātou i tuku i ā mātou kaipānui kia noho mokemoke ina tae mai ki ngā raruraru whanaungatanga.

Kua roa pea koe e piripono ana ki tēnei tangata, nā te mea kāore koe e tino pōuri mena he whakaipoipo noa iho tēnei. Kua aroha pea koe ki a ia, ā, e hiahia ana koe kia kite i te tawhiti o tō kōrua haerenga, kua piripono rānei kōrua ki a ia. Ā, ahakoa tana mahi, ehara i te mea he takahi i te whakaaetanga, engari i mamae tonu koe. Koia koe i whakaaro ai ki te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia. Heoi, he pai te utu? Kia kite tātou.

He pai te hoatu i tētahi whai wāhitanga tuarua ki tētahi?

Ripanga o Ihirangi

Ina whara koe i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, e whakawhirinakihia ana hoki e koe, ka uaua ki te whakatau mēnā ka whakamātau anō koe i a rātou. I whakawhirinaki koe ki tēnei tangata. I tino mōhio koe e kore rawa tēnei tangata e whara i a koe. Heoi, i te mutunga iho ka mamae koe i a rātou, ahakoa he mea āta whakaarohia, he mea kore rānei. Kāore koe e mōhio me pēhea te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a rātou i muri i tā rātou whara i a koe. Koinei ngā āhuatanga me whakaaro koe mēnā e pouri ana koe mō te wehenga ā, e hiahia ana ki te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tētahi:

Kei te aroha tonu koe ki a ia? Ki te mea āe, kāore he he o te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia
Kua whakaae ia ki te kawenga mō āna mahi? He tohu anō tēnei mā kōrua kia houhia te rongo me te ngana kia angitu ai
Ki te rite tonu ana kupu ki ana mahi, he tohu anō tēnei kia ngana tonu koe, nā te mea kei te whakapau kaha anō hoki ia.

Me hoatu e au he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia i muri i tana whara i ahau? I te wā i pātaihia ai tēnei pātai i runga i te Reddit, he uKa whakahoki a Ser, "Mā te pouri ka kōrero te tangata i ngā mea katoa. Ahakoa te maha o ngā wā i kī mai ai taku hoa o mua ka mahia e ia ngā mea katoa kia harikoa ai ahau, anei ahau, kua wehe atu i a ia i muri i ngā tau e whitu o te ngana ki te whakatutuki i te angitu. Ka tere te memeha o te wā poto o te atawhai. Ki te hiahia tonu koe ki te ngana, ki taku whakaaro me tatari koe kia roa ake te wā kia kite ai mēnā ka huri ia. I ētahi wā, kāore i te tika te wā, ā, kāore e tika te noho tahi a te tokorua."

He tupono tuarua Kotahi noa te wā e hoatu ana. Kaua e rua, kaua e toru, kaua hoki e rite ki te maha o ngā wā e mahi hapa tonu ana te tangata. Ki te karanga tonu koe i taua tangata ki roto i tō ao engari kāore koe e kite i a ia e huri ana i ōna huarahi, he tohu whakamataku tēnā, me whakaaro anō koe ki te whanaungatanga.

9 Ngā Tohu Hei Whakaaroaro Mēnā Kei te Hoatu He Wāhi Anō Ki A Ia

Ka taea te whai wāhi tuarua mēnā ka ōrite te whakapau kaha a te tokorua – kaua ko te tangata anake i hē, ā, e hiahia ana kia hoki tahi anō, kaua ko te tangata muru hara anake e hiahia ana kia kite i te tipu o tā rāua hoa. Kei raro nei ētahi atu mea hei maumahara māu i a koe e houhia ana te rongo ki tō hoa:

1. Kua riro i a kōrua te kawenga mō te hinganga

E kore rawa e angitu te whanaungatanga mēnā kotahi anake te tangata e tika ana kia pikau i te kawenga katoa. I kōrero koe i te wā e werawera ana, ā, i pērā anō hoki ia. Mēnā kua whakapāha ia mō āna mahi, me pērā anō hoki koe. Kaua e tumanako ka pikau ia i te katoa o te hē nā te mea nāna i tīmata te pakanga, nā te mea rānei nāna i tīmata te pakanga. te kōrero i ngā mea kino i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mēnā i pērā anō tāu mahi hei utu, me whakapāha anō hoki koe ki a ia.

He Reddit kaiwhakamahi e whakapuaki ana i ō rātou tirohanga whai kiko mō te mahi a te whakapāha i roto i te whanaungatanga, "Ko te ako ki te whakapāha i te wā e mōhio ana koe kei te hē koe ehara i te mea uaua. Ko te mea uaua ko te aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga e mārama ana ngā take o ngā tāngata e rua mō ngā mea i mahia e rātou, engari i whara tonu tetahi (ko rāua tokorua rānei). Me āhei koe ki te whakaae ki te mea i tupu, me te āhua o te hunga i whai wāhi, me te kore e akiaki i tetahi taha kia hē."

2. Hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia mēnā he hē noa iho te whakaaro

Mena he hē nui noa iho te take o tō wehenga, he pai ake te noho tahi me te whakamārama i te āhua. Kātahi ka taea e kōrua te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tēnei whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore tetahi o kōrua i mahi he. Kaua e tukua ēnei mea iti noa kia arai i tō kōrua harikoa.

I tuhituhi a Anna, he kaimahi hapori nō New Jersey, ki a Bonobology, "Me hoatu e au he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia i muri i i whakakorea e ia tētahi rā ā, i tū atu ahau? I whakapāha ia mō tēnā ahakoa ko au te tangata i tomuri ki te rā. I tatari ahau i a ia mō te 30 meneti. I taku taenga atu ki reira, kua wehe atu ia i te wharekai. I tukuna atu e au he karere e kī ana ka tomuri ahau nā te waka engari i kī ia kāore ia i tirotiro i tana waea. E mōhio ana ahau he hē noa iho pea, ā, kua whakaritea e māua tētahi atu rā. Kia kite tātou me pēhea te haere.”

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te muru me te wareware i roto i te whanaungatanga

3. I tino pono tana whakapāha

Ko ētahi e mea ana "Aroha mai" hei whakaora i a koe i tētahi āhuatanga pōrearea, engari kāore i te tino mārama. Ahakoa rā, ki te mea i whakapāha tō hoa i tōna ngākau pono, ā, i tino pono tana kōrero, kāore he kino ki te hoatu anō i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia.

Me kī atu i huna ia i a koe, i wareware rānei i a koe mō ētahi rā. Kei te whakaaro koe, "Me hoatu anō e au he whai wāhitanga ki a ia i muri i tēnei" i whakamātau ia i ahau, ā, hoki mai ana?” KI te mea kua oati ia kia kaua e mahi anō i ana mahi, ā, ki te mea he pono ana take mō te huna i te tangata, āe. Hei tauira:

I pāngia ia e te raruraru nui o te mahi
I pāngia ia e tētahi āhuatanga ohorere ā-whānau
I pāngia ia e ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro
I whawhai ia ki tētahi waranga

Mō ētahi atu māramatanga e tautokona ana e ngā tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

4. Kei te aroha tonu kōrua tetahi ki tetahi ahakoa kua wehe kōrua

Ahakoa te roa o te whanaungatanga, he mamae tonu ngā wehenga. Kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro i tō oranga me te kore ia, ā, e ngaro nui ana koe i a ia. Ki te hiahia nui koe kia hoki mai tō hoa o mua, ki te kore ia i mahi i tetahi mea nui hei whara i a koe, ki te taea te whakatau i te take i muri i te wehenga, ka taea e koe te hoatu ki a ia tētahi atu whai wāhitanga nā te mea kei te tino mamae koe.

Ka meinga tonutia koe e ia kia rite ki tana kaupapa matua, e maioha ana ia ki ō whakaaro me tō aroaro, e mea ana ia kia arohaina koe, ā, e aro ana ki ō hiahia. Kāore e taea te mutu te tangi mō te wehenga, ā, he rite tonu ki tana taha. Kātahi ka taea e koe te ngana ki te whakatau i ō raruraru i runga i te huarahi whai hua. Anei ētahi tohutohu:

Whakaharatauhia te whakataurite i ngā kare ā-roto i roto i te hononga
Whakaaetia kāore he whanaungatanga tino tika
Kōrerohia ngā raruraru engari kaua e tohu i ngā maihao
Kia manawanui, kia ngana hoki ki te mārama ki ngā mea mai i tō rātou tirohanga
Kia kite, kia rongo tetahi i tetahi. Kaua e whakakorekore i ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa.
Kaua e tukua ngā reo o waho kia pā ki tō whanaungatanga
Kōrerohia kia whai hua, kia tika hoki te whawhai, me te kore e whakamahi i ngā kupu whakahāwea, me te kore hoki e takaro i te kēmu whakapae

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Whakamutu i te Aroha ki a Koe Anō i Muri i te Wehenga

5. Me hoatu e au he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia i muri i tana whara i ahau? Ae, ki te pai kōrua ki te tuku i ō kōrua whakapehapeha

Ko te hoariri nui rawa atu o tō whanaungatanga ko tō ake whakapehapeha. Kia mārama koe kāore e taea e koe te tika i ngā wā katoa. Hei tāpiri, kāore e taea e koe te takaro i te kāri patunga me te mawhiti i ō ngoikoretanga. Kaua e tumanako ko ia anake te tangata ka tuku i tana whakapehapeha kia heke i a koe e whakatakoto ana i tō whakapehapeha ki runga i te turanga e kore e taea e tetahi te toro atu. Waihoki, kāore e taea e ia te whakatakoto i tana whakapehapeha hei kaupapa matua me te mahi kino ki a koe.

Ki te hiahia ia ki te whakatau i te raruraru, ka taea e koe te mahi i taua mea anō, me te hoatu i tētahi tīmatanga hou ki tēnei whanaungatanga. Kei te ngana koe ki te hanga whakawhirinakiKa puta noa mai te whakapono me te harikoa ina whakatakotoria e koe te whanaungatanga ki mua i tō whakapehapeha papaku. He tino whai hua ngā whai wāhitanga tuarua mō te hunga e pupuri ana i ō rātou whakapehapeha ki te taha hei painga mō te harikoa o tā rātou hoa.

He Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kī ana, "Ki taku whakaaro ka taea te whai wāhi tuarua. I pai mōku, ā, e tino harikoa ana ahau inaianei, e whitu tau i muri mai. Kua 15 tau māua e noho tahi ana. He uaua te whakatikatika ki te mahi i tētahi whanaungatanga me te kore e tukua te whakapehapeha kia whakangaro, engari ka taea te whai wāhi i te wā roa mēnā e tino hiahia ana kōrua kia angitu."

6. E pai ana ia ki te whakaae, me koe anō hoki

E pātai ana a Janice, he kaihanga taro 30-tau te pakeke nō Miami, "Me hoatu anō e au he whai wāhitanga ki a ia i muri i tana teka? I teka tonu ia ki ahau ka mea ia ka whakararuraru i te ara tika mō ētahi mea. E rua marama kua pahure mai i tā māua tīmatanga anō ki te whakaipoipo, engari ko au tonu te tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakaae. He rite tonu te ahua o ngā mea katoa ki te patunga tapu ināianei. Ki taku whakaaro ehara i te whakatau whakaaro nui te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia.”

Ki te kore ia e pai ki te whakaae, tukua ia kia haere. Engari ki te mea kei te rite ia ki a koe ki te whakarerekē i ō whakaaro, kei te whakaatu ia kei a ia te kaha ki te tipu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ā, he pai ki te whakamātau anō.

7. Kua rite ia ki te whakaatu mārama ki a koe mai i nāianei

Me hoatu e au he wā anō ki a ia i muri i tana teka? Ae, mēnā kua whakaae ia ki te whakamutu i ngā kōrero teka katoa, ā, kua rite ia ki te mahi i tana ake mahi. Kāore e pai te teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Tērā pea i teka ia hei tiaki i ō kare ā-roto, hei huna rānei i ana hapa, he tangata teka pūmau rānei ia. Ahakoa te take, nā te mea kua whakaae ia ki te mahi i a ia anō, he tohu pai tēnei kia hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia.

I te pātaitanga i runga i te Reddit mēnā he pai te teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, he kaiwhakamahi i kōrero mō te teka whakauaua, "Kaua e whakahawea ki a ia mō tēnei. Me kōrero ia ki tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro. He urupare whara ako te teka whakauaua ka taea te rongoā me te whakatika. Mena he tangata teka whakauaua ia, ehara i te mea nā te mauahara ia e mahi ana i tēnei, me uru ia ki te rongoā hinengaro. Ina kōrero koe ki a ia, kia mārama ia kei te haere mai koe i te wāhi o te aroha me te āwangawanga, kaua ki te whakahē. KEI reira te āwhina."

8. Hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia mēnā kāore e taea e koe te aro atu ki te whakaaro ka ngaro ia i tētahi atu

He mea whakapouri te ngākau ina kite koe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe me tētahi atu. Ki te mea ko te whakaaro noa iho kei te aroha ia ki tētahi atu tangata ka mataku koe, he mea pai kia hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia. Ki te mea kei te tohe tonu ia ki te ngana ki te whakahaere i ngā mea, hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia nā te mea kei a koe te whakapono ki a ia, ā, e kite ana koe i tētahi heke mai me ia. Me whai i tō ngākau. Anei ētahi ngā tohu e wehi ana kōrua kei ngaro tetahi i tetahi:

Ko koe tana hoa pai, ā, ko koe anō hoki
E tautoko ana kōrua tetahi i tetahi i ngā āhuatanga katoa o te ao, tae atu ki te tipu ngaio, hinengaro, me te kare ā-roto.
Kāore e taea e kōrua te noho riri tetahi ki tetahi mō te wā roa
He huarahi hauora tāu mō te whakahaere i ngā tautohe
Ka whakapau kaha kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ka kitea hoki he huarahi hei whakanui me te maioha tetahi ki tetahi

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te ngaro o ngā kare ā-roto mō te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, me te tuku atu

9. He nui ake te kōrero a āna mahi i āna kupu

Koinei tētahi o ngā mea nui hei whakaaroaro māu ina pōhēhē koe mō ngā whai wāhitanga tuarua. Ki te kite koe i roto i ōu wheua e aroha pono ana ia ki a koe, ā, e 'kitea' ana i roto i āna mahi, ka taea e koe te hoatu anō i tētahi whai wāhitanga ki a ia. Tērā pea ko ia tō hoa wairua me tō 'mutunga harikoa'. Ko taua 'aroha pono'. He kupu whakamarie, he kupu whakaū. Heoi, ko āna mahi te mea ka rerekē i te mutunga o te rā. Mena kei te kī ia ka huri ia, ā, e whakaatu ana āna mahi i tēnā, he tika kia whai wāhi tuarua ia.

Āhea Kāore e Tukuna he Whai Wā Tuarua

Me titiro anō hoki tātou ki te taha uaua o te hoatu whai wāhitanga tuarua ki tētahi. He maha ngā wā kāore te tangata e tika ana kia arohaina e koe, nā te mea ka kino pea ina ko koe anake te kaitāko. He nui rawa tō kaha ki te kite i te tangata e menemene ana, e harikoa ana, engari ko te tangata kē kei te 'noho' noa iho, ā, e whakaaro ana kua nui. He tangata tēnā e kore e tika kia murua. Anei ētahi atu wā me... kaua rawa e hoatu he whai wāhitanga tuarua ki tētahi:

Ina he mahi tukino kei roto i te whanaungatanga, tae atu ki te mahi tukino ā-waha me te kore ā-waha pērā i te aukati, te tinihanga, me te wehe i a koe i ētahi atu
Me hoatu e au he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia i muri i tana tinihanga? Mena i tinihanga ia i mua, ā, kua rite koe ki te whakamātau anō, koinā te whiringa whaiaro. Heoi, ki te mea kei te tinihanga tonu ia, ā, te āhua nei kāore ia e huri i ana mahi, he pai ake te noho me te kore ia. Whakapono mai ki ahau, he tika kia whiwhi koe i te mea pai ake.
Ki te hiahia koe ki te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia nā te mea e wehi ana koe kei noho mokemoke koe, he pai ake te neke atu me te ako me pēhea te wikitoria i ō āwangawanga tuatahi. Ehara i te take matatika te noho tahi me tetahi
Kei te hiahia koe ki te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia nā te mea kua neke atu ia, ā, kei te hae koe? He take kino tēnei ki te hoatu anō i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia. Kua tae ki te wā kia ako koe me pēhea te huri i te hae hei whakaaroaro whaiaro, me te arotahi ki a koe anō i mua i te urunga ki tētahi atu whanaungatanga.
Kaua e hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia mēnā kāore tonu ia e whakaae ki tō mua. Ki te hoki mai ia ki tō ao, ka whawhai anō kōrua i ia rā, i ia rā.
He pai ake te neke atu, kaua e hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia mēnā kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakapau kaha engari e hiahia ana koe ki te whakapau kaha, ki te hiahia rānei koe ki te marena kotahi/whanaungatanga maha-aroha ā, e hiahia ana ia ki te ritenga kē
Kaua e hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia mēnā he raruraru whakawhirinaki tōna, ā, e whakapae tonu ana ia i a koe.

Tohutohu Matua

Ka taea e koe te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tō hoa o mua mēnā kua whakapāha ia mō tana hapa, ā, kei te arotahi ia ki te whakatika i ngā hapa me te whakanoho i a koe hei kaupapa matua.
Ki te hiahia kōrua ki te wawahi i ō kōrua whakapehapeha kia harikoa ai tetahi ki tetahi, ka taea e kōrua te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a ia.
Kaua e hoatu he whai wāhitanga anō ki a ia mēnā kei te mataku koe kei noho mokemoke koe, mēnā i tukino ia i a koe, mēnā rānei i tinihanga ia i a koe i ngā wā maha.

Kāore te tangata e huri i roto i te pō kotahi. Me whakapau kaha koe, me te manawanui hoki mēnā e hiahia ana koe kia ora tonu te whanaungatanga. He mea nui kia aro nui koe ki a koe anō. Ki te kore koe e harikoa, e pōuri ana hoki ki tēnei tāne, he pai ake te tuku atu, ka neke atu. Heoi anō, ki te whakaputa mai tēnei tangata i te pai o roto i a kōrua, ā, kāore anō kōrua kia pāngia e te wā hoha, he pai ki te whakamātau anō i tēnei.

35 Tauira o ngā Kuputuhi hei Whakamataku i a Ia mō te Whakamamae i a Koe

12 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakarongo Mai I Tō Tāne Ki A Koe

20 nga huarahi e aroha ai to tane ki a koe

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.