Kāore e taea te mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi? He aha tōna tikanga, me pēhea te whakamutu?

"Kāore e taea e au te mutu te whakaaro ki a koe" he kupu rongonui i ngā tīmatanga o te aroha, ina horomia koe e te kaha o ngā kare ā-roto. I te haere tonu o ngā mea, ka memeha haere te kaha o te aroha, ka huri hei kare ā-roto pumau o te aroha, ā, kāore koe e horomia tonutia e ngā whakaaro o te tangata e arohaina ana e koe. 

Koinei te āhua tūturu o ngā kare ā-roto aroha e pā ana ki a tātou katoa i tētahi wā. Engari, me pēhea mēnā kāore te kaha o te aroha e mimiti, ā, kāore e taea e koe te tango atu i taua tangata i roto i tō hinengaro? He aha te tikanga ina kore e taea e koe te mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi? Āe, he tohu mārama tēnei kei te hē tetahi mea, inā koa mēnā ka tino pokanoa, ka pau katoa ēnei whakaaro, ā, ka tīmata te pā ki tō kounga o te oranga, ki tō oranga hinengaro rānei. 

Mena koinei te wāhi e tū ana koe—e whakaaro nui ana ki tētahi hoa hou e arohaina ana e koe, ki tētahi hoa o mua, ki tētahi i mawhiti atu, ki tētahi hoa aroha rānei kua roa nei e noho tahi ana koe—he mea nui kia mutu, kia whakaaroaro ki ngā mea e whakaoho ana i tēnei whakaaroaro, kia arotakehia ai te pānga ki tō oranga me tō hauora hinengaro. Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe i tēnei haerenga tūhura me te whakaaroaro hohonu, me te tautoko i ngā māramatanga mai i ētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro rongonui me ngā tohunga whanaungatanga. 

He aha te tikanga ina kore e taea e koe te mutu te whakaaro ki tetahi

I tau taku hoa, a Sam, ki roto i tētahi raruraru uaua i tana hononga anō ki tana hoa o mua , ā, ka whakaarahia anō te aroha. He mea whakahihiri, he mea pōuri, he mea whakarerekē i tōna ao. I kite ia kua kitea, kua whakamanahia, kua hiahiatia, kua arohaina hoki—ngā mea kāore i kitea e ia i roto i tana marena mō te wā roa. I kite ahau i a ia e whero ana, e kata ana, pērā i te taiohi, engari kāore ia i kī he aha.

Kātahi ka memeha haere, pērā i te tīmatanga. Tata ki te ono marama ki muri i te moepuku, ka whakatau tana hoa o mua ki te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka huna ia i a ia, kāore he whakamārama. I pouri a Sam, i pōuri te ngākau, ā, i te āhua nei kei te āwangawanga, kei te tawhiti hoki. Ko ēnei huringa ohorere, nui hoki o tōna āhua he mea āwangawanga, ā, nō reira i whakatau ahau me rapu e au te pūtake o te mea e whakangaro ana i a ia. 

I muri i te akiaki nui, ka pakaru te reo o Sam, ka kōrerotia te kōrero katoa, kātahi ka tangi nui, ka pātai ia, "He aha ahau te kore ai e mutu te whakaaro ki a ia?" Ko te mea i tino manukanuka ahau ehara i tana tinihanga, i tōna mamae rānei, engari ko te kino o te pānga o ēnei mea katoa ki a ia. 

I tau te makariri ki roto i tōku tuarā i tana kīnga mai, "Kei te tirotiro tonu ahau i taku waea i ia hēkona ruarua puta noa i te rā, e tatari ana mō tētahi karere kuputuhi mai i a ia. Ka titiro ahau ki tēnei hoapā i roto i taku waea, ā, ka kite ahau kua āraia ahau e ia, ā, ka tangi ahau. Ka whakaaro ahau ki ngā wā i noho tahi ai māua i ngā wā katoa, i a au e mahi ana i ngā mahi o tōku ao tūturu. Ahakoa kei te mahi ahau, kei te noho tahi me ngā tamariki, kei te kaukau, kei te tunu kai, kei te taraiwa ki te mahi, kei te noho tahi rānei me koe i konei, kei roto i tōku hinengaro, kei a ia ahau. Kei te whakaaro ki a ia. Kei te hiahia ahau kia noho ia i konei. Kei te moemoeā mōna. Kei te ngaro i a ia."

Ko ana whakaaro mō tana hoa o mua, e rua ngā wā i puta ai, ehara i te mea ko te ngaro noa i tētahi, i te tiaki rānei i te ngākau maru. Kua noho hei mea whakararuraru, hei mea whakararuraru noa iho. He aha i pēnei ai te āhua ki a ia, i whakaaro ahau. He aha te tikanga ina kore e taea e koe te mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi?

I a au e ruku hohonu ana ki roto i te take, ka kitea e au ko te kore e taea te mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi he tohu i te hononga kare ā-roto hohonu, i te āwangawanga rānei. Ka puta pea tēnei i ngā kare ā-roto aroha, i ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia, i te whakamoemiti rānei. Ina arohia tātou ki tētahi, ka tukuna e tō tātou roro ngā matū pēnei i te dopamine, e whakapakari ana i ngā kare ā-roto ahuareka, ka tata ai te waranga o ngā whakaaro mō taua tangata. 

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Ka kaha ake pea ēnei whakaaro, ā, ka uaua ki te whakakore mēnā he āhuatanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ka puta ai te manukanuka. Ka piri te hinengaro ki ngā mahi kāore anō kia oti i a koe me te tangata, i a koe e ngana ana ki te rapu i te take me te pēhea ka puta he porowhita o ngā whakaaro tāruarua. E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro a Tākuta Guy Winder, " Ka taea e te aroha kāore i utua te whakaoho i te raruraru kare ā-roto, ka puta mai he tauira whakaaro kino e kore e taea e koe te wehe atu." Ka pā tēnei ki tō oranga kare ā-roto me tō hinengaro, ka arahi ki

• manukanuka
• Te whakaheke
• ahotea
• Te moe
• Ngā huringa o te mood 
• Te ngoikore ngoikore 

He Pānui e Pā Ana: He aha ahau ka Manawanui tonu ai ki te Tangata i Whawhai i ahau?

7 Ngā Take e kore ai e mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi

He mea kino te whakaaro tonu ki tētahi, ā, he maha ngā pānga ki a koe. Mēnā kua kitea koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga kāore e taea e koe te aukati i tō hinengaro kia haereere noa ki te huarahi e haereere ana koe ki tētahi tangata, tera pea kua whakaaro koe, "He aha ahau te kore ai e mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi?" Nā te mea ko te hura i te take matua o ēnei tauira whakaaro matatini e takaro haere ana te mea nui ki te kimi huarahi hei kore e whakaaro ki tētahi , me titiro tātou ki ngā take matua e whitu o tēnei ia:

1. Te kukume aroha

Āe, kāti! Ki te kore e taea e koe te mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi, nā te mea kei te aroha koe ki a ia. Ka puta te tukunga o ngā matū pai pērā i te dopamine i roto i te tinana i te aroha aroha , ā, ka hiahia koe ki te whakaora anō i taua kare ā-roto. Koia te take e hiahia ana koe ki te noho tata ki te tangata e arohaina ana e koe i ngā wā katoa, ā, ki te kore e taea e koe, ka pau tō wā ki te moemoeā mōna.

He aha te take e kore ai e taea e au te wareware i a ia? He aha te take e kore ai e taea e au te mutu te whakaaro ki a ia? Āe, nā te mea he aroha tōu, he aroha tōu, kei te hopu koe i ngā kare ā-roto. Koinei tonu te rerenga o ngā kare ā-roto i kōrerotia e au i te tīmatanga o tēnei tuhinga. Mena koinei te take e whakaaro tonu ana koe ki tētahi, okioki. Ka pahemo te wā.   

2. Te whakapoapoa 

He rite tonu tēnei ki te whakaaro tonu ki tētahi tangata nā te mea e arohia ana koe e ia. He maha ngā wā ka huri te aro ki te kare kaha engari poto noa o te aroha nui, ina whakaarohia e koe te tangata e arohia ana e koe, ā, kāore e taea te kore e whakaaro nui ki a ia.

E whakaahua ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Frank Tallis, i te aroha nui ki te tangata, he "āhua e piri ai tō roro ki te whakaaro he tino tika te tangata, ka arahi pea ki ngā whakaaro pōuri." He mea noa iho, ina he tino pai, he tino tika hoki ngā mea katoa, kāore koe e hiahia ki te mawhiti i taua ao wawata iti i hangaia e koe māu ake. Koia te take, mō ngā rā, mō ngā wiki rānei, ka kitea pea koe e moemoeā ana mō tēnei tangata me tō kōrua heke mai. 

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3. Ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia

Koinei te wāhi e uaua ai ngā mea. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro nui rawa koe ki tētahi tangata nā te mea kei reira ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia. Tērā pea i mutu ohorere ngā mea, i te wā rānei kāore koe i whakaaro, tērā pea i huna koe e rātou (pērā i te mea i tupu ki taku hoa, ki a Sam), tērā pea kei te whakatio rātou i a koe i muri i tētahi pakanga nui, ā, kei te whakangaro i a koe te koretake mō te āhua o ngā mea. Ko ngā āhuatanga kāore anō kia oti te mahi, te kore rānei o te kati i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e koe te whakaaro tonu ki taua tangata, hei ngana ki te mārama ki te mea i tupu, ki te pēhea rānei i rerekē ai ngā mea.

4. Te ti'aturiraa o te kare-a-roto

Kua tīmata a Kate ki te mahi tauira i tētahi umanga hokohoko i muri i tana otinga i te whare wānanga, ā, kāore e taea e ia te aro ki tetahi mea nā te mea kāore e taea e ia te tango i tana hoa tāne i roto i tōna hinengaro. "I a mātou i te whare wānanga, i whakawhirinaki ahau ki a ia mō ngā mea katoa, ahakoa he pakanga ki tōku māmā, he raruraru ki aku hoa wahine, me ngā mahi o ia rā." 

"Nā te mea kei roto māua i tētahi hononga tawhiti , ka ngaro nui ahau i a ia. Ko tāku noa he whakaaro ki tāna mahi, āhea ia ka waea mai, he aha rānei kāore ia i tuku karere mai? Nā te mea kei te ngana hoki ia ki te noho ki tētahi mahi hou, ki tētahi wāhi hou hoki, he pukumahi ia. Ā, ka meinga ahau kia whakaaro kāore ia e hiahia ana ki ahau, kāore hoki e aro ki a ia. He maha ngā raruraru kei waenganui i a māua. He aha ahau e kore ai e mutu te whakaaro ki a ia?"

He tauira matarohia tēnei o te whakawhirinaki nui o ngā kare ā-roto ki tētahi, ka taea ai e tēnei te whakaoho i ngā whakaaro urutomo. Ina tīmata koe ki te titiro ki tētahi hei punga i roto i tō ao, ka uaua pea te pupuri i tō tuakiri me tō mana motuhake. Ka taea e tēnei te waiho i a koe kia whakaaro nui ki a ia.  

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5. Te whakamarumaru

He aha ahau e kore ai e mutu te whakaaro ki tētahi, e whakaaro ana koe? Tērā pea ko ō āwangawanga te take. Ina āwangawanga koe mō tō whanaungatanga ki tētahi nā te mea kāore koe i te tino mōhio, kāore rānei koe i te tino mōhio ki tō tūnga ki a rātou, ki tā rātou tirohanga rānei ki a koe, tera pea ka mutu ka takaro koe i ngā horopaki pakiwaitara i roto i tō hinengaro mō ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te whanaungatanga. 

Ko te mea kino rawa atu, he maha ngā wā he kino ēnei tauira whakaaro. Kei te whakaaro tonu koe ki ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu, nā te mea kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki ngā whakaaro o taua tangata, ki ōna kare ā-roto rānei mōu. Ā, ko ō āwangawanga ka meinga koe kia whakaaro ki te mea kino rawa atu. E ai ki a Tākuta Winch, " Ka taea e te āwangawanga mō tētahi whanaungatanga te whakanui ake i ō whakaaro, ka meinga kia ahua nui ake i tō rātou tikanga."

6. Ngā āhuatanga 'He aha rā pea'

Mena ko te tangata e kore e taea e koe te wareware ko "te tangata i mawhiti" ko koe rānei kei te pāngia e te aroha taha kotahi , tera pea ka kitea e koe kei te whakaaro koe ki ngā āhuatanga "he aha rā te mea i taea", kei te whakaaro ki ngā mea i taea, ki te āhua rānei o te putanga rerekē o ngā mea.

I te nuinga o te wā, ko ēnei whakaaro hangai he putanga pai o tētahi heke mai i whakaarohia, ā, he mawhiti reka mai i te mooni kino e kore pea ēnei wawata e tutuki. Koia te take ka ngāwari te aro ki ēnei whakaaro, ka waiho hei mea e pau ana ki te katoa, hei mea nui atu i te ao. 

7. Pānga kare ā-roto

Mena he nui te pānga o tētahi ki a koe i roto i te hinengaro—ahakoa he pai, he kino rānei—tērā pea ka uaua ki a koe te tango atu i aua mea i roto i tō hinengaro. Hei tauira, i mutu te aroha whakahihiri a Andrea ki tētahi hoa i tupu ake ai tōna aroha ki a ia i te wā i hapu ai ia, ā, i whakarerea e ia. I tana whakapuakitanga i te rongo, ka momotu e ia te waea i runga i tētahi take, kātahi ka kore e waea atu anō ki a ia.

I whakatau ia ki te whakamutu i te haputanga, ā, ko ia anake i roto i te whakamātautau katoa. Tekau mā tahi tau kua pahure, ā, kāore tonu ia e mutu te whakaaro he aha ia i huna ai i a ia pēnei. "He hoa māua mō ngā tau i mua atu i tērā... Kāore au i te hiahia ki tetahi mea mai i a ia engari ko ia anake i taku taha i taku whakatahe... Me pēhea ia? He aha ia i pērā ai? He aha taku he?" Kei te hurihuri tonu ngā whakaaro, ahakoa e mōhio ana ia, pērā i te katoa, kāore he take o tēnā. 

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Ngā Tohu e Whakararuraru Ana Te Whakaaro Mō Tetahi

E ai ki taku kōrero, ko te noho roa i roto i tō hinengaro o tētahi tangata ehara i te tohu i te raruraru. Kāore koe e hiahia kia moe pōuri koe i te whakaaro, "He aha ahau i whakaaro nui ai ki tētahi?", mēnā kei te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga aroha, nā te mea rānei kua tīmata tō aroha ki tētahi hoa aroha. Ka taea e ēnei moemoeā katoa te whakakī i a koe ki te harikoa, ki te tumanako, ki te hihiri, tae atu ki te whai kaupapa i a koe e whakaaro ana ki te hanga hononga, ki te whakahōhonu rānei i te hononga. I te roanga o te wā, ka pērā anō hoki ēnei whakaaro e whakapau kaha ana. 

Heoi, ki te mea kua roa koe e whakaaro nui ana mō tētahi hoa o mua , mō tētahi aroha kāore i utua, mō tō hoa rangatira, mō te tangata rānei e arohaina ana e koe, kua tino pāngia koe e ēnei whakaaro, ā, kua whakararuraru i a koe ki te whakatere i te ao, kua tae ki te wā ki te mahi. Me pēhea te wehewehe i a rāua? Kia aro ki ēnei tohu e whakaatu ana kei te raru te whakaaro ki tētahi:

• Kāore e taea e koe te arotahi ki tō oranga tūturu: Mena he roa rawa te wā e whakaaro ana koe ki tētahi, ā, kāore e taea e koe te aro ki te mahi, ki ngā mahi o ia rā, ki ō kawenga rānei, he tohu kino tēnā.
• Kei te ngaro tō moe: Te noho ara roa, te hurihuri, te ara ake rānei me ērā mea kei roto i tō hinengaro? He tohu katoa ēnei kei te whakararuraru tō aro nui ki tētahi i tō oranga tinana
• Ka nui rawa tō tātari i ia taunekeneke: Mena kei te whakapau koe i ngā hāora ki te whakahoki anō i ngā kōrerorero, ki te wetewete rānei i ia kupu, kua tata ō tauira whakaaro ki te te hiahia kino ki te hauora
• Ka pāngia koe e te manukanuka, e te ahotea rānei ina kore rātou e tere te whakautu mai: Ki te mea ka huri koe ki te manukanuka nā te korenga, te whakaroa rānei o tā rātou whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, tera pea kua tukua e koe tēnei tangata kia nui rawa te mana whakahaere i tō hinengaro me ō kare ā-roto.
• Ka mutu tāu mahi i ngā mahi e pai ana ki a koe: Mena kua waiho e koe te whakamana me te aroaro o tēnei tangata hei pūtake anake o te harikoa i roto i tō ao, ā, kua whakarērea e koe ngā mahi whakangahau, te noho tahi me ngā hoa me ngā whanaunga, ā, kua tīmata te noho motuhake, he mārama kei a koe tētahi raruraru me whakatau wawe tonu.
• Kei te tirotiro tonu koe i tō waea: Ko te tatari puku mō ngā karere kuputuhi, ngā whakamōhiotanga pāpāho pāpori rānei, te tirotiro i tō waea i ia hēkona ruarua, te rongo i te ngaru o te pouri e taupokina ana koe ina tangi tō waea engari nō tētahi atu te whakamōhiotanga, he tohu katoa ēnei o te hiahia puku kino.
• Kei a rātou tō wairua: Ki te mea ko ā rātou mahi te mea e ārahi ana i ō kare ā-roto i ia rā, he tohu tēnei kua nui rawa te mana me te whakahaere i a rātou ki a koe. Ka pā kino pea tēnei ki tō pumau o ngā kare ā-roto.
• Ka ngaro koe i te ara o te wā: Ka whakaroa koe mō ngā hāora, ka moemoeā mō aua mea. Me te mea nei kua nohoia tō hinengaro e tēnei tangata kotahi. 
• Ka wareware koe ki te tiaki i a koe anō. Te karo i ngā kai, ngā whakangungu tinana, ngā mahi whaiaro rānei nā te mea he nui rawa tō whakaaro ki aua mea? Ae, he raruraru tōu
• E ngoikore ana ō kare ā-roto. Ki te mea ka waiho koe e te whakaaro mō tēnei tangata kia ngenge, kia taumaha rānei, he tohu tēnā kāore tō aro nui ki a ia e pai mō te hauora.

Me pēhea te mutu te whakaaro nui ki tētahi  

Ki te mea kua kitea e koe he pānga kino tō te aro nui ki tētahi, kua tae ki te wā ki te aro atu ki te take. Ko te mea pono, ahakoa te nui o te wāhi e hoatu ana e koe ki tēnei tangata, te maha o ngā horopaki e puta ana i roto i tō hinengaro, te āhua rānei o tō wawata kia puta ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe, ko ēnei whakaaro whakaaroaro katoa ka pā kino ki tō hauora hinengaro, ki tō oranga ngākau, me te kounga o te oranga. 

Kua tae te wā ki te kī, "Que sera sera," e hoa, me te whakahoki mai i te mana whakahaere o ō whakaaro me tō oranga. Ae, e mōhio ana ahau he ngāwari ake te kī i te mahi - kua tae kē ahau ki reira. Nō reira, hei āwhina, ka kawea atu e au ēnei tohutohu e whitu e tautokona ana e ngā tohunga mō te whakamutu i te whakaaro nui ki tētahi :

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1. Whakaaetia o whakaaro

Ina pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha ahau i whakaaro nui ai ki tētahi?", tera pea ka puta ake ētahi kare ā-roto me ngā kare ā-roto whakamā. Kaua e panaia atu ēnei, kaua hoki e huna. He pai te piri ki tētahi, te pōhēhē mō tētahi huringa ohorere i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, te mamae rānei i ngā mahi a tētahi—te kore rānei o aua kare ā-roto. Me whakaae koe ki ēnei kare ā-roto whakamā hei tīmata i te tukanga whakaora. E kī ana a Tākuta Winch, "Ka puta tonu mai ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia tukatukahia kia tū atu rā anō koe ki a rātou." Nō reira, tukua koe kia rongo, kaua e tukua ō kare ā-roto kia whakahaere i a koe. Tukua kia mamae kia kore rawa e mamae. 

2. Whakatakotoria he rohe ki a koe anō

Ehara i te mea he mea nui te whakatakoto rohe kare ā-roto mō te hanga whanaungatanga hauora ki ētahi atu, engari mōu ake anō hoki. Ko te whakatakoto rohe hei wawahi i te porowhita o te whakaaro nui, hei pupuri i a koe kia tū pakari ki te ao tūturu, ka rite pea ki te kupu, "Kāore au e tuku i a au kia pau i ngā whakaaro mōna."

A te wā ka kite koe i a koe e takahuri ana ki roto i tētahi porowhita whakaaro mutunga kore, whakamahia tēnei rerenga kōrero hei wehe atu. Tērā pea me whakaharatau tēnei engari ā tōna wā, ka taea e koe te whakaute i tēnei rohe i whakatakotoria e koe ki a koe anō. I te tīmatanga, he pai pea te whakarite i tētahi wātaka kua whakaritea mōu hei whakaaro mō tēnei tangata—10 meneti ia rua hāora, hei tauira—kātahi ka neke atu ki tētahi atu mea. Mā te āta whakaiti i tēnei wā kia taea rā anō e koe te pana atu i ēnei whakaaro i te wā e pai ai koe.  

Pānui e pā ana: Ngā Huarahi ki te Neke Atu me te Kimi i te Harikoa Anō

3. Whakaritea te tiaki whaiaro

Ina riro i a koe ngā whakaaro mō tētahi atu, ka memeha haere tō ake oranga ki muri. He pono anō hoki te ritenga kē. E kī ana te kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga a Esther Perel, "Ko te whakahoki mai i a koe anō te rongoā mō te āwangawanga. Mā tēnei ka taea e koe te hono anō ki ngā mea e hanga ana i a koe, ko koe." Nō reira, hurihia te arotahi ki a koe anō. Hoki atu ki te whare takaro, whakaharatau i te aro, whai i ō mahi whakangahau, me te noho tahi me ō hoa aroha. Ko te tiaki i a koe anō te mea nui ki te whakahoki mai i te mana whakahaere.

4. Āta karohia te whaiwhai pāpāho pāpori

Kia pono tātou— ko te whaiwhai pāpāho pāpori te wahie ki te ahi o ngā whakaaro pōrearea. "Mā te tiro tonu ki ngā pāpāho pāpori o tētahi ka roa ake te piripono kare ā-roto," te whakatūpato a Tākuta Andrea Bonior, he tohunga hinengaro haumanu raihana. Mā te tirotiro tonu i ā rātou kōtaha, ka uaua ake te kore e whakaaro ki a rātou, te aro nui rānei ki te āhua o tā rātou harikoa ki tō rātou oranga i a koe e noho ana i konei e hiahia ana ki a rātou. He tino āwhina te wehenga atu i tō rātou aroaro ipurangi ki te wawahi i te porowhita o ngā whakaaro e mau ana koe. Tērā pea he uaua i te tīmatanga engari ka āwhina te tawhiti i te wā roa.

5. Korero mo tena

He maha ngā wā ka ahua taumaha rawa ētahi whakaaro me ngā ariā i roto i ō tātou hinengaro, engari ki te whakapuakina e tātou, ka ahua māmā ake te aro atu. Mena kei te raru koe i te pātai, "Me pēhea taku whakamutu i te whakaaro ki tētahi?", ko te kōrero ki tētahi hoa pono, ki tētahi hoa whakawhirinaki rānei, ka taea te huri i te kēmu. 

Mā te whakaputa i ō whakaaro ka taea te tuku i te taumaha o te kare ā-roto. Mā te whakarongo ki ngā tirohanga a tētahi atu ka taea hoki te āwhina i a koe ki te kite mārama ake i te āhuatanga. Ka taea hoki e koe te whakaaro ki te rapu āwhina ngaio me te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro mō te wawahi i tēnei huringa whakaaro. Ka taea e tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro whai mātauranga te āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i te pūtake tika o ēnei tauira whakaaro me te mahi i roto i taua huringa. Mena kei te whakaaro koe ki te rapu āwhina, kei konei ngā tohunga hauora hinengaro mohio me te wheako o te rōpū Bonobology hei āwhina i a koe.

6. Kia pukumahi ki ngā mahi hou

He taputapu kaha te whakararuraru. Mā te noho pukumahi ki ngā mahi hou ka whakaiti i te wā e noho pukumahi ana koe. Kei roto pea i tēnei ko te ako i tētahi pūkenga hou, te whai i tētahi mahi whakangahau, te noho tahi rānei me te hunga e whakahihiko ana i tō wairua. Mā te noho pukumahi ka āta nekehia tō arotahi atu i te tangata. 

Nā, ina whakaaro koe ki tētahi mahi hei whakakī i tō wā me tō hinengaro, me whiriwhiri koe i tētahi mea kāore e pā ana ki te tangata i whakaarohia e koe. Mena i haere tahi koe me rātou ki te eke pahikara i ngā ata Rātapu katoa, i tunu kai tahi rānei, ko te hoki atu ki aua mahi ka nui ake te whakamahara i a koe ki a rātou. 

7. Kati te whakanui i a rātou

Ina whakaaro nui koe ki tētahi, he māmā noa iho te whakanui i a ia. Ki tō hinengaro, he tino tika tēnei tangata. He tika tonu māu. Ko tāu e hiahia ana. Ko ia anake te tangata ka taea e koe te āwhina i a koe kia ora i tō oranga ki te taumata teitei. Heoi, ko tēnei putanga o ia te mea i whakaarohia e tō hinengaro mō tētahi take. 

Kia maumahara, kāore he tangata tino tika. Hei tuku i ngā whakaaro pōuri mō tētahi, me kite koe i a rātou mō tōna āhua, me ōna hapa me ērā atu mea katoa. E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Lisa Firestone, "Mā te whakaaro pai ki tētahi ka puta he putanga koretake o rātou i roto i tō hinengaro. Ka hohonu ake te piripono." Hei wawahi i tēnei putanga pai o rātou, hangaia he rārangi o ngā mea mō rātou kāore i te tino tika, whakamaumahara rānei ki a koe anō mō ​​ngā wā kāore i tino pai. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i te whakataurite i tō tirohanga me te wetewete i tō rātou mau ki ō whakaaro.

Thoughts Final 

Ina noho pukumahi tonu tō hinengaro ki tētahi, ka pāngia tō kounga o te oranga me tō hauora hinengaro e ngā whakaaro whakararuraru, whakapōrearea hoki. Kia mōhio koe ki ngā tohu whakatūpato, he mea nui kia rapua te pūtake o te raruraru, kātahi ka mahi ki te wete i te tauira. Tērā pea he mea kāore e taea ina noho puku koe i roto i ēnei porowhita whakaaro engari mā te mahi i ngā mahi mohio, ka taea e koe te whakahoki mai i te mana whakahaere o tō hinengaro.  

Me pēhea te ngaro o ngā kare ā-roto mō te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, me te tuku atu

Te Whakahou i te Rangimārie ki tō Wā o Mua – 13 Ngā Tohutohu Whakaaro Nui

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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