15 Ngā Tohu Kua Mutu Tō Take (Ā, Mō Ake Tonu)

He tohu tonu kei te mutu tō hononga, kei te tata rānei te mutunga o tētahi hononga. Mā tō pūmanawa koe e mōhio ki te mea e tupu ana, mena ka aro nui koe ki tēnā. Ahakoa kāore rāua e whakaarohia ana he tino pono e te nuinga o te tangata, ka pāngia te tokorua e ngā piki me ngā heke o te kare ā-roto me te tinana.

I whakaputaina e te Journal of Sex Research tētahi ako i mea, "He hiahia tonu tā mātou ki ngā hihiri mō te uru atu ki te puremu." I kitea e rātou ko te tino take e tīmata ai te hunga kua marenatia, te hunga rānei kua piripono ki tētahi hononga, he kore e makona ki tā rātou hoa matua.

He maha ngā tohu e kitea ana kua mutu, kua tata rānei te mutunga o tō whanaungatanga, pērā i te wā e wehe atu ai tō hoa. Mēnā rānei e mōhio ana koe kāore pea he tūmanako mō te heke mai. I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka kitea e koe he 15 ngā tohu pēnei kua whakamāramahia kia āwhina i a koe ki te whakaaro mēnā me āwangawanga koe kei mutu tō whanaungatanga, kāore rānei.

He pēhea te mutunga o ngā mahi?

E rua ngā momo o ngā hononga ā-ture – te momo hononga ā-waho noa iho, te hononga kore here rānei, ā, ka tīmata ēnei mea e rua nā runga i ngā take whaiaro e rerekē ana mō ia tangata. I te nuinga o te wā, ina whakatauhia aua āhuatanga, ina kitea rānei tētahi atu, ka ngaro pea te ataahua o te hononga ā-ture, ā, ka mutu ki te wehenga. Ahakoa he rerekē te tauhohenga me te tukatuka a te tangata i te mutunga o ā rātou hononga ā-ture, ka taea te kī he pānga kare ā-roto ki a rāua tokorua te mutunga o te hononga ā-ture. I kī a Amanda Robson, he kaituhi hokohoko pai o te Sunday Times, "Kāore he hononga ā-ture kāore he tikanga." I ētahi wā, tērā pea ka aroha ngā hoa mahi.

Ko te Rōpū Etita a ReGain i roto i ā rātou tuhinga me kī, "He rerekē te roa o te moe tāne me te wahine: tata ki te 50% ka roa pea i waenga i te kotahi marama ki te kotahi tau, ko ngā moe tāne mō te wā roa ka roa pea mō te 15 marama, neke atu rānei, ā, tata ki te 30% o ngā moe tāne ka roa pea mō te rua tau, neke atu rānei." Ahakoa pēhea, ka mutu tonu ngā moe tāne. Ahakoa ka noho hei mea whaimana, pai ake rānei, ka mutu ake ake rānei, he kaupapa rerekē tēnā.

• E ai ki te whānuitanga tuhinga i whakaputaina ki TheHealthyJournal, e toru ngā huarahi pea hei whakamutu i te whanaungatanga:
  Mēnā he moe tāne, he moe wahine rānei, ka arahi pea tēnei ki te wehenga i te hoa rangatira, me te marena anō hoki ki te hoa moe tāne.
• Ko te wehe i te whanaungatanga ki te hoa moepuku hei whakahoki anō i te whanaungatanga ki te marena, hei whakapai ake hoki i te whanaungatanga, he mutunga pea tēnei o te whanaungatanga ki tua atu i te marena.
• Mēnā he hononga noa iho, ka mutu pea te hononga ā-ture ki tētahi hononga whaimana, ki te whakakahoretia rānei te tangata e tōna hoa.

15 Ngā Tohu Kua Mutu tō Whakaipoipo

I ētahi wā, ka tere, ka mārama hoki te mutunga o tētahi whanaungatanga mēnā he tika, he mārama hoki te kōrero a te hoa moe tāne i a rāua e wehe ana. Engari i runga i te āhua o ngā mahi moe tāne, kāore pea e ngāwari te kimi i ngā kōrero pono e tohu ana i te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Mēnā ka kite koe i te ngaro o te hiahia o tō hoa moe tāne, ā, ka ruarua koe mō te heke mai o tō mahi moe tāne, tirohia te rārangi i raro nei hei tirotiro i ngā tohu kua mutu tō mahi moe tāne.

1. Kāore he kōrero mō te heke mai i ēnei rā

Ko te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga aroha he mea whakahihiri ake pea i tētahi atu wāhanga. Ko te tumanako, ko te whakamahere, ko te hiahia ki te whakapau moni nui atu wā kounga Ko te noho tahi anake te mea e puta ana i roto i ō kōrua hinengaro me tō hoa. Ka whakatakoto mahere mutunga kore kōrua mō ngā tina, ngā kai pō, te tuhi rūma hōtēra mō ngā hararei mutunga wiki, me ētahi atu mea anō hoki.

Heoi, ko te tohu whero tuatahi, ko te mea tino kitea, ko te wā kāore i te iti haere te whakamahere engari kua mutu katoa. Tērā pea he rite ki te āhuatanga o taku hoa a Sharon. I mea ia, "I te ngana māua ki te whakatau ko tēhea te wāhi hei kai mā māua, ā, ka mutu taku kōrero i taku hoa moepuku, ka mea mai me noho ia ki tētahi wāhi i taua pō, kātahi ka haere."

2. He maha atu ngā take ka puta ake hei karo i te noho tahi

He rerekē te tīmatanga o te ruarua mō te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga mēnā kāore tō hoa e aro ki tā rāua whai wāhi. Engari he tino āwangawanga anō mēnā ka tīmata koe ki te mataku i te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua ko tō hoa. Ko te auau o tō kitenga i tō hoa whanaungatanga me te auau o tō whakaaro ki te rapu huarahi hei karo i te kitenga i a rāua i ngā wā whakatā, he pātai ēnei māu e whakautu.

te te karo i tō hoa mahi taikaha ka rite te āhua ki tēnei:

• Mā te karo i a rātou, kei te ngana puku koe ki te karo i te manukanuka me te koretake e pā ana ki te mutunga pea o te mahi.
• He pukumahi rawa rātou, kāore e taea te noho tahi me koe, engari kua pukumahi kē rātou ki ētahi atu tāngata i roto i ō rātou ao pērā i tētahi 'hoa' hou, i tā rātou hoa rangatira/tamariki rānei.
• Kei te karo kōrua i te nuinga o ngā mahere, i tetahi atu rānei, ahakoa he mea noa iho pēnei i te tina, te kai pō rānei
• Kua kore ā kōrua kōrero waea e pātai ana mō ngā rā o tētahi ki tētahi, engari kua mutu, ko te whakapā atu anake mō tētahi mea nui.
• Ka kite koe i te nuinga o ō tuhinga e kore e arohia i mua atu

Te pānui e pā ana: 13 Ngā Tohu Tino Pai e Whakapūmau Ana Te Hononga Tūturu

3. Kua tīmata koe ki te ruarua nui atu i tōu whakawhirinaki i mua

He maha ngā ture kāore i te kōrerotia engari kua whakaaetia mō ngā mahi tahi. Ko tētahi o aua ture ko te āhua huna me te kore mana o te whanaungatanga, he maha ngā mea e iri ana i te taurite, ā, me whakaae ngā tāngata e rua ki tēnā. Pērā i te whakarite mahere mō te meneti whakamutunga, te whakakore rānei i ngā mahere kua oti kē te whakarite i te meneti whakamutunga, te tirotiro rānei i ngā wā e tika ana.

Nō reira, ahakoa e tika ana kia kaua e mōhio ki ngā mahi a tō hoa moepuku i ia meneti o te rā, ka taea e ngā huringa rerekē o ā rātou whanonga te ara ake i ngā feaa. Ka nui ake te āwangawanga ina kaha haere tonu ō feaa, ā, kāore tō hoa moepuku e whakatau, e whakautu rānei i ō pātai e pā ana ki a rātou.

4. Ka puta te mauahara, ā, kāore e whakahaerea

Te mauruuru Kāore e taea te karo ina pā mai he ara pōrearea ki te whanaungatanga. Kāore e tika kia mutu te whanaungatanga, engari ki te kore taua riri e whakatauhia, ka taea tonu. Ki te mea he whanaungatanga nui, ā, e hiahia ana ngā hoa tokorua ki te whakatau i ngā take, tera pea he ara hei puta atu i te riri. Heoi, ko ētahi tāngata e pupuri ana i te riri nā te mea he āhua pukuriri, he āhua pukuriri. I ētahi atu wā, tera pea kāore ā rātou hoa e hiahia ki te whakarerekē i te whanonga e puta ai te riri. Ahakoa pēhea, ka kore e taea te karo i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga.

E ai ki te tuhinga nā Kalpana Nadimpalli, he tauira paetahi o te reo Ingarihi me te Hinengaro, "... ko te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga he rite ki te wero i a koe anō me te tumanako ka whara tō hoariri. Ā, ina kore te mauahara e whakatauhia, ka piki haere ngā take ki te wāhi kāore tetahi o kōrua e kitea he huarahi hei whakatika. E kiia ana ko te 'matepukupuku' o ngā whanaungatanga, ka kainga e te mauahara te pūtake o tētahi whanaungatanga; ka memeha tōna whakawhirinaki, tōna pono, me tōna aroha."

• Ka puta te mauahara ina tīmata kōrua ko tō hoa moe tāne, ko kōrua rānei ki te pupuri i ngā hapa a tetahi, arā, ngā hapa a tetahi, ā, ka puta ake i muri mai i roto i ngā tautohe hei whakaiti i a rāua.
• Ka puta anō hoki te mauahara mō ētahi atu take maha, pērā i te whakaaro kāore i rangona, i te kore rānei i te aro nui ki a ia i roto i te mahi pōrearea.
• Mena he nui te whanaungatanga i te tīmatanga, ka puta te riri i te wehenga tinana, kare ā-roto rānei o tētahi, o kōrua rānei, mai i te whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te mauahara i roto i te marena? E kī ana te tohunga ki a koe

5. Kāore ō whāinga e ōrite ana, ā, kāore he whakaaetanga

I ngā wā maha, i te mea he nui te aroha me te whakawhirinaki i waenga i ngā hoa, ka taea tonu te noho taupatupatu mō ngā whāinga kāore i te ōrite mō te heke mai. Ka taea e ō whāinga whaiaro te arahi i a kōrua ki tētahi ara e kore ai kōrua e taea te haere tahi i muri i tētahi wā. I te tīmatanga, he tumanako kei roto i ngā whiriwhiringa me ngā whakaaetanga, engari i te mutunga, kāore he wāhi nekeneke e toe ana. He mea nui ake ō whāinga takitahi i te haere tonu o te whanaungatanga. Kaua ēnei tohu whakatūpato e warewarehia, ā, ko te tumanako anake ka wehea paitia pērā i a Mia rāua ko Sebastian i te kiriata 'La La Land'.

6. Ka pāngia koe e te kore pumau tonu

Ina tīmata koe ki te kite i te iti haere o te hiahia o tō hoa moepuku ki te whakarite mahere auau pērā i mua, kia tūpato. Hei tauira, i rongo koe i a rātou i ia rā, kātahi ka huri hei kotahi i ia rā, ki te kore noa e rongo i tētahi kupu mō ngā wiki e toru, me te kore whakapāha, me ngā take pakari rānei. Tērā pea kua huri tō moepuku hei tūāhuatanga pō noa iho, kāore he whakaaro mōu.

7. Kua puta tō mea ngaro

He mea huna te āhua o ngā mahi ā-whare, ā, ahakoa e taea ana e koe te huna i tō whanaungatanga, kei a koe ētahi mea. Ahakoa te aha e mahia ana e koe ki kia noho puku tō whanaungatanga, he tūponotanga tonu ka puta te mea ngaro.

• Ki te huraina he hononga ā-whare noa, tera pea ka mutu hei wehenga mena ko te āhua huna o taua hononga te mea i pupuri i te kaha o te ngākau nui.
• Ina tukuna he hononga ki waho o te marena, he nui ngā mea ka ngaro i te hunga e whai wāhi ana ki te hononga. Hei whakaora i te ingoa kino me te mahi ki te hanga anō i tō rātou ingoa pai, ka whakatau pea tētahi, e rua rānei ngā hoa ki te whakamutu i te hononga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te kitea o te nuinga o ngā mahi tinihanga — 9 ngā huarahi noa e mau ai ngā kaipahua

8. Kei te pōhēhē tonu koe

Ki te kite koe i a koe e whanake ana te hohonu o ō kare ā-roto mō te tangata engari kāore koe e whiwhi i te tauhohenga ōrite, e kore rānei koe e mōhio kei te kite rātou kāore rātou e kite ana i a rātou anō e māia haere ana ki a koe, he tohu hē tēnā.

• Mā te kore o ngā whakaaro mārama ka whakapono pea koe kei te whakamahia koe e tō hoa moepuku, ā, tera pea koinei te āhua.
• Me āwangawanga koe mēnā ka karo rātou i te hiahia ki te whakatau i tō pōhēhētanga me tō manukanuka mō ēnei take.

9. Ahakoa he rite tonu tā rāua whanonga, ka riri koe i ngā mahi katoa a tō hoa

I roto i te aroha, i te take aronganuiAhakoa kāore pea te noho tahi i te mea pai i ngā wā katoa, kaua hoki e waiho hei mea whakarihariha, hei mea whakararuraru hinengaro rānei. Ki te tīmata koe ki te rapu huarahi hei karo i te whakarite i ngā rā me ngā hui nā te mea kei te hoha, kei te whakapataritari rānei tō hoa i a koe, he huringa tēnei e tika ana kia pātaihia.

Nā Cheryl Whitten, he kaituhi mō WebMD, tuhi, "Ehara te riri i te tohu kua kore tō whanaungatanga. Engari, he tohu pea kua tae ki te wā ki te atawhai i a koe anō me te whakaute i ō kare ā-roto. Mā te aro ki ngā mea e tupu ana i roto i tō koiora ka āwhina i a koe ki te rapu i te pūtake o tō riri". Engari ki te mea kua mahia e koe tēnei, ā, kāore tō hoa i te tino hiahia, i te tino whakapataritari rānei, ā, kei te kite tonu koe i a koe e ngenge ana, e ngenge ana hoki i muri i te tūtaki ki a rāua, tera pea kua tata te mutunga o te whanaungatanga.

10. Ko te moe noa iho, ko te kore moe rānei, he tohu kua mutu tō mahi taikaha

Kāore e taea te whakakore he mea nui te moe tāne ki te ataahua me te angitu whānui o te whanaungatanga. Engari me taurite anō hoki, me ētahi atu āhuatanga e hanga ana i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka tūtaki koe ki tō hoa moe tāne mō te moe tāne anake, ā, ki te kore tēnā e tika ana, ka mutu, kāore rawa koe e tūtaki. I taua wā, me kōrero kōrua kia mārama ai mēnā kei reira koe mō ngā waea noa iho, mō te whanaungatanga aroha rānei.

Te pānui e pā ana: He moe tāne noa iho rānei tō hoa tāne? 20 ngā tohu hei tūpato!

11. Ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ō rātou ngoikoretanga, ā, ka riri rātou ki a koe

He mea noa, he mea pono hoki te kite i tō hoa mā roto i ngā 'mōhiti tae rōhi' ina he kaha ō kare ā-roto o te aroha, o te aroha rānei ki a ia. Ahakoa te aha ngā rerekētanga matua i waenga i te aroha me te ngākau nui, he rite tonu ngā haki whero ki ngā haki i ngā wāhanga tuatahi o ngā mea e rua. Engari ki te nui ake ngā take e puta ake ana i te mea e whakatauhia ana, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakahē i ō rātou ngoikoretanga, ā, ka wareware noa i ō rātou kaha. Ā, ko te mea kino rawa atu, he mea noa iho, he iti iho rānei te kitea o ō rātou ngoikoretanga, he mea nui rānei. Nō reira, ki te uaua ki a koe te kimi i tētahi mea pai hei whakaaro mō tō hoa, ahakoa kei roto koe i tā rātou kamupene, kāore rānei, he tohu nui tēnei kua mutu te whanaungatanga.

12. Kua tīmata koe ki te noho mokemoke ahakoa kei te noho tahi kōrua

Koinei pea tētahi o ngā tino take o te mutunga o tētahi mahi whakaipoipo. Ko te noho tahi tinana engari ko te noho mokemoke i roto i te hinengaro he mea tino whakararu i te whakataunga, ā, he tohu hoki kāore te mahi whakaipoipo e pai ana, ā, kua tata te mutunga mēnā kāore te take e whakatikahia. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu o te noho mokemoke me tō hoa moepuku he:

• Kāore e rangona, kāore hoki e arohia nuitia ina whakapuaki koe i ō āwangawanga mō te mahi pōrearea, i roto rānei i te
  whānui
• Ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kua wehea koe mai i te kaupapa katoa o tō whanaungatanga
• Kua mutu te hoatu e tō hoa moepuku he whakaaro haumaru, he herekore ki a koe pērā i mua.
• Kei te piki haere ngā āputa whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kāore anō kia whakatauhia

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o te Kore o te Hononga Kare ā-roto i roto i ngā Hononga

13. Kua piki haere te manukanuka o tō puku

He pono ka whakaatu mai tō kare ā-roto kei te raru tetahi mea i mua noa atu i tō māramatanga he aha te hē.

• Tērā pea he iti noa ngā huringa o ngā whanonga a tō hoa moepuku, te reo tinana, ō rātou kare ā-roto e karapoti ana i a koe, te reo me te whai wāhi mai o ā rātou urupare rānei, ka meinga pea koe kia manukanuka.
• Ahakoa ka taea ēnei mea te pā ki te hunga kāore i te pai te rā, ki te mea ka noho auau tonu, ā, ka kī mai tō ngākau kua tae ki te wā ki te whakarite mō te mutunga e tata mai ana, whakaponohia.

14. Ki te mea kei te kī tonu koe i te hara me te whakama, he tohu tēnei kua mutu tō mahi taikaha

"Kōrerohia tāu e hiahia ana mō te hunga e uru ana ki ngā mahi pōrearea, ka puta te ia o te tangata ki te ārai i a rātou anō," te kī a tētahi tuhinga nā CouplesAcademy i whakaputa. Ka puta ake te whakama me te whakama i ngā wā katoa. He mea whakahihiri, he mea whakahihiri hoki te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga aroha, engari ko te whakama o roto mō te tinihanga, te teka rānei ki tētahi atu kia noho ki tētahi atu wāhi ka arahi i a koe ki te whakama.

He rite ki te whakaaetanga 'kāore he kino, kāore he hē' te whakauru atu ki tētahi tangata kua mārenatia, kua piripono rānei, nā te mea kāore he pēhanga mō te piripono kare ā-roto, te piripono nui rānei mai i a koe, i a rātou rānei. Engari i roto i te wā, ka kite pea koe he maha ngā tāngata e piripono ana ki a koe me rātou e pāngia ana e te pānga ā-kore. Ka puta te mohiotanga, ā, ka mutu wawe te hononga i muri iho.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whai muri i te Take Tūkino – Me pēhea te Whakakore i te Hara Tinihanga

15. Kua hoki rātou ki tō rātou ao, ā, kua wareware katoa ki a koe

Ki te kore tō hoa moepuku e whakapā atu me te kore whakatūpato i mua, ā, kāore he hapa i puta, kua tino mutu tō moepuku. Ki te whiriwhiri tetahi ki te wareware i tetahi mea i tupu, me te whanonga me te mea kāore i te mōhio ki tō oranga, he mea mohio kia mōhio koe kāore tō hoa moepuku o mua e whakahoki kupu mai ki a koe, e kore hoki e maia ki te wehe tika i a kōrua. Kaua e manukanuka, kei reira ētahi atu mea. ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei neke whakamua me tōu ake oranga, ā, kati te whakaaro ki te whanaungatanga puku me tō hoa.

Me pēhea te whakamutu i te marena i muri i te marena?

Ahakoa te nui o tō aroha ki tō hoa, me mahi te mahi i te whakaipoipo. Engari ki te mōhio koe kua mutu, ā, e whakaatu mārama ana ngā kōrero kua whakahuatia i runga ake nei mō te wehenga tata, ka uaua ki te tangata te whakahaere. Ka pāngia ētahi e taua ngaru o te whakakorenga, ā, ka tere te heke o ā rātou whanonga ataahua i mua. Kia pono tātou, kāore tetahi e hiahia ana kia mutu te āhuatanga pai, nō reira, ka riri ētahi, ka whanoke. Engari ahakoa te nui o te kōrero kino, kāore e taea te whakarerekē i te āhuatanga.

Na, he aha te mahi i muri i te mutunga o te marena?

• Kei runga?Ko te taahiraa nui ki te whakaoti i te raruraru māu ake ko te whakarite kia tino mutu te whanaungatanga, māu me rātou. Ehara i te mea me haere koe ki waho o tō ara me te toro atu ki a rātou i muri i tā rātou tapahi i tō kōrero. Engari me karo koe i te hoki atu ki a rātou i runga i ā rātou tono me ngā whiriwhiringa ahakoa te aha.
• Poraka ratouTangohia atu i ngā wāhi katoa e taea e koe te whakaaro, ā, kia tika tō kawenga kia kore ai koe e hoki whakamuri, e hoki anō ki ngā whanonga kino ki te hinengaro.
• wā ahauWhakamahia tō wā waatea ki te mahi i a koe anō, ki te haumi ki ō mahi whakangahau, ki te whakatika i tō mahinga o ia rā
• Rapua he awhinaHe nui te mahi uaua hei neke whakamua i tō oranga ko koe anake, ā, he tino uaua ki te mahi ko koe anake, nō reira me rapu āwhina i tētahi hoa kore whakahāwea e mōhio ana koe ka pupuri i a koe kia tika, ka pupuri hoki i a koe kia anga whakamua, kaua e titiro whakamuri. Ka taea hoki e koe te tono tohutohu mai i ngā tohunga. Ko te ngā kaitohutohu o te Bonobology ka noho rite tonu, ka koa hoki ki te āwhina i a koe

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te taumahatanga o te whakaaro ki te 'Me kati taku hononga' i muri i te wehenga

Tērā pea kei te ruarua koe ki ngā whakaaro o tō hoa moepuku mō tō hoa aroha, engari kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea te whakamārama i te huringa o ā rātou whanonga. Kei te hiahia rānei koe ki te whiwhi whakaū mō te mea kei roto noa i tō hinengaro, kei te kite rānei koe i ngā tohu kua mutu tō moepuku. Hei whakamutunga, he roa te wā e hiahiatia ana hei whakaaroaro me te neke whakamua, ā, ahakoa te mutunga o tō moepuku, kaua e mangere ki te tono āwhina mai i ngā hoa tata, i ngā tohunga ngaio rānei mēnā e tika ana. Ā, e ai ki te kaituhi a Shannon L. Alder, "I ētahi wā ka pāngia koe e te Atua, engari kāore e ora. He maha ngā wā ka puta tēnei, kei te whakamahi ia i tō mamae mō tētahi kaupapa nui ake." Nō reira, kia mau tonu te manawanui.

E mea ana te tāne e aroha ana ia ki ahau engari kei te mau tonu tana hononga ki ahau

15 Ngā Tohu Mārama e Hiahia Ana Te Wahine Kua Mārena Kia Neke Koe

6 Ngā Kaitāhae e Kōrero Mai Ana Ki A Mātou Mō Rātou Whakaaro Mō Rātou Anō

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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