17 Ngā Mea Hinengaro mō te Tinihanga – Te Wetewete i ngā Pūrākau

Kei konei koe, e ngana ana ki te rapu i te take e tinihanga ai tetahi. Tērā pea kua pāngia koe e te takahi i te whakawhirinaki. Ina tupu tēnei āhuatanga, he maha ngā wā ka mahue tātou ki te kore mōhio ki te mea i tupu. "Nāku rānei? Nā rātou anake rānei?", "Ka taea e tātou te ora i tēnei?", "Ka tupu anō rānei?", "He tinihanga i mua, he tinihanga tonu?" Āe? Mā te mārama ki ētahi o ngā āhuatanga hinengaro mō te tinihanga ka āwhina i te whakatau i te nuinga o ēnei feaa.

He uaua ake te kore whakapono i te mea e kitea ana i te tuatahi. Ehara i te hiahia anake te mea e tinihanga ai te tangata, ā, ehara i te mea kāore e taea te hanga anō i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i tētahi wā o te kore whakapono. Mā te āwhina a te kaiako hauora kare ā-roto me te aro nui. Pooja Priyamvada (he tohu mō te Āwhina Tuatahi mō te Hauora Hinengaro me te Hinengaro mai i te Kura Hauora Tūmatanui o Johns Hopkins Bloomberg me te Whare Wānanga o Sydney), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te mārenatanga, kia tirohia tata atu tātou te āhuatanga uaua o te tinihanga. 

He aha te take hinengaro mō te tinihanga?

"Engari i tino makona māua i roto i tō māua whanaungatanga, kāore au i te whakapono i tinihanga ia!" te kī a Melinda, e kōrero ana mō tana hoa tāne a Jason e tinihanga ana i a ia ahakoa kāore i whakaatu i tetahi tohu o te kore harikoa ki te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa kāore pea ngā tono a Jason "I tupu noa iho, kāore au i te whakamahere" e whakaora i te āhuatanga, ko te mea pono he pono pea tāna e kī nei. Ko ngā meka pūtaiao mō te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e whakaatu mai ana ki a tātou ehara i te mea ko te kore moepuku te take o te kore pono i ngā wā katoa. 

"I roto i te hinengaro, he maha ngā take mō te moepuku," te kī a PoojaAhakoa te āhua pai o ngā mea katoa i te tirohanga tuatahi, ka taea e te tinihanga te whakakorikori i te turanga o tō whanaungatanga i te kore noa iho. "Ko te riri me te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga tuatahi, ngā āhuatanga matua o te aroha maha i roto i te tuakiri o te tangata, te iti o te whakapau kaha, ngā taumahatanga rānei i roto i te ao pēnei i te mate me te uauatanga pūtea e rapu ana te tangata i tētahi mawhiti, ka whai wāhi katoa ēnei ki te tinihanga," te kī a Pooja.

"I ētahi wā, ko ngā take o te āhua o te tinana me te whakapono ki a koe anō ka ārahi i te tangata ki te whai i tētahi i waho o te whanaungatanga matua," tāna tāpiri. Ina pā mai tēnei āhuatanga kino ki a koe, kāore pea koe e rapu rangahau mō te tinihanga, e ngana rānei ki te rapu i te hinengaro kei muri i te tinihanga. Engari ina tīmata te tau o ngā kare ā-roto, ka tino pātai koe, he aha i tupu ai? He aha ngā mea e puta ana i roto i te hinengaro o te tangata tinihanga? He aha te mea e akiaki ana i te tangata ki te ruku? He maha ngā wā ka tohu ngā tohunga ki ēnei take e 8 e tino kitea ana mō te kore pono i roto i ngā whanaungatanga: 

• Te riri
• Nga take kiritau
• Te kore o te aroha me te whanaungatanga
• Te piripono iti 
• Te hiahia mō te kanorau
• Te kore arohia
• Te hiahia i a ratau
• Tinihanga āhuatanga

I runga anō i ngā āhuatanga o te tangata, te kaha o te whanau, tae atu ki ō rāua whanaungatanga o mua, ka rerekē pea ō rāua take. Heoi anō, he rerekē pea ngā āhuatanga hinengaro mō te tāne tinihanga i tō te wahine. He uaua te hinengaro kei muri i te tinihanga me te teka, engari ki te nui ake tō ako i a koe anō mō ​​tēnei kaupapa, ka pai ake tō whakarite ki te whakatau i tēnei whiu.

Mena kei te raru koe i tēnei wā ki te whakaae ki te tinihangatia, kāore ngā tatauranga tinihanga e āwhina ki te whakamōmona i te mamae. Inaa, mā te hura i te take o te tinihanga ka hoki anō koe ki te mamae. Heoi anō, ko te huarahi anake hei whakakore i tēnei ko te kore e pehi i ēnei kare ā-roto, me te rapu whakautu ki ō pātai mō te hinengaro o te tangata tinihanga.

17 Ngā Mea Hinengaro mō te Tinihanga

Ahakoa te whakama e pā ana ki te puremu, he mea miharo te nui o te kitea! Engari he pehea te nui o te kitea? Me titiro tātou ki ētahi kōrero mō ngā kaipahua me te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kia kitea ai, āe? E ai ki te American Psychological Association, tata ki te 20–40% o ngā whakarere i Amerika nā te kore whakapono. Ahakoa rangahau mā te tinihanga ka kī atu ki a koe he nui ake te tinihanga a ngā tāne, ko ēnei rangahau e whakaatu ana hoki i te pikinga haere tonu o te tokomaha o ngā wāhine kāhore i te whakapono.

Kia mārama tātou ki ngā āhuatanga katoa o te tinihanga, me ruku hohonu tātou ki ngā āhuatanga o raro i te mata. Ka pai ake tō pūkenga ki te whakahaere i te pakaru o te whakawhirinaki i roto i tō whanaungatanga ina mārama koe ki te hinengaro kei muri i te tinihanga. Anei ētahi kōrero whakamīharo mō te tinihanga, arā, ngā kōrero pakiwaitara:

Te pānui e pā ana: He Tirohanga Whānui mō ngā Wāhanga o te Hara i muri i te Tinihanga

1. Ka taea e te tinihanga te "tupu noa"

Ae, tera pea ka mutu te tinihanga o te tangata i roto i tētahi hononga pumau, i whakatakotoria ki ngā ara o te moe tāne me te wahine, nā ngā āhuatanga o te wā. Tērā pea, "ka tupu noa iho". "I ētahi wā, ko te whai wāhi ki te moe tahi mō te pō kotahi, ki te moe tahi noa rānei, kāore he herenga, kāore he mōrearea, ka arahi pea ki te tinihanga. Ka puta ake ngā āhuatanga e pai ana ki te tinihanga ina whai wāhi te tangata ki te whai hoa maha, ina rānei he hoa tō te tangata kāore e mōhio ki te moe tāne. Ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga te arahi i te tangata ki te tango i taua mōrearea," te kī a Pooja. Whakaarohia ēnei āhuatanga:

• Kei roto kōrua i tētahi hononga tawhiti, ā, kua roa kōrua kāore i kite tetahi i tetahi.
• Ka whakaatu te tangata ātaahua i te hiahia ki a koe, ā, ka whakamatautauria koe
• Ki tō whakaaro ehara i te hononga kare ā-roto, nō reira kaua e kiia he tinihanga
• He waipiro kei roto, ā, e whakaaro ana koe ka taea e koe te whakapae i tō haurangi
• Kei te pāngia koe e te ngoikore o te whanaungatanga, ā, e hiahia ana koe kia maiohatia, kia kitea, kia arohaina.

Whakaarohia mēnā ka whakakotahihia ēnei āhuatanga katoa ki roto i te kotahi whakaaturanga. Mēnā he pēnei te papamuri, ka taea e te tinihanga te "tūpono noa iho". Mēnā i whakaaro koe he whakatakotoranga hinengaro matatini mō te take e tinihanga ai te tangata, te take rānei i noho puku ai tō hoa, tera pea ka pouri koe ki te kite he whakaaro koretake noa iho pērā i tā te tangata tinihanga i kī ai. Ahakoa rā, kāore tonu e hoatu he whakamārama ki te tangata tinihanga.

2. Nā te ipurangi me ngā pāpāho pāpori i māmā ake ai te tinihanga

Mō ngā āhuatanga o te ao e pā ana ki te tinihanga, kua tika tāu i pānui ai, ko te taenga mai o te ipurangi me ngā pāpāho pāpori kua whai wāhi ki te pikinga o te tinihanga i roto i te marena me te whanaungatanga. Me whakamārama mātou me pēhea:

• He ngāwari te tinihanga a te hunga whakamā pāpori me te hunga whakama i runga i te ipurangi nā te mea he iti ake te ngoikore
• He māmā ake te takaro ki te ipurangi mō te hunga e raru ana ki te iti o te whakaaro ki a rātou anō. He maha ngā tāngata e whakaari ana i tētahi āhua rerekē, ko ētahi e huna ana i muri i tētahi ingoa huna.
• Mā te pāpāho pāpori ka taea e te tangata te tirotiro i tā rātou hoa o mua, i tā rātou i aroha ai, i tētahi atu rānei e hiahia ana ki a ia. Mena kei te raru kē koe i ngā raruraru here, anei te take pai hei "titiro noa" hei "kōrero noa iho rānei i ngā kōrero kino", me te uru atu ki ngā kōrero teka.
• He tokomaha e whakaaro ana he tinihanga mariko, he nga take ipurangi ehara i te mea nui. Ka mutu, ka tinihanga ngā tāngata i ō rātou hoa, ā, ka kino rawa atu hoki te whanaungatanga, he maha ngā wā kāore i te mōhio, kāore hoki i te whakaae kei te tinihanga rātou.

3. Ka taea e ngā tāngata tinihanga te huri

Kua tae ki te wā kia whakakorea tēnei pūrākau. Ahakoa i tinihanga te tangata i mua, ehara i te mea ka noho tonu ia hei tinihanga. Ki te taea e te tangata waranga te whakamutu i te waranga kino rawa atu, ā, ka ma, ka taea e te tangata i tinihanga i mua te whakahonore i ngā ture o te marena kotahi. Ko te tikanga, ka pā anake tēnei ki te hunga e hiahia ana ki te huri, kaua ki te hunga e whakaaro ana he ngahau te tinihanga.

Kāore anō kia whakapūmautia e te pūtaiao te tinihanga mau tonu, te tinihanga auau, te tinihanga ā-tauira rānei hei take mō te kore whakapono, nō reira ka taea e tātou te tango atu i ēnei i roto i tēnei kōrero mō nāianei. Engari, ko te hinengaro tinihanga tonu e aro ana ki ngā take hohonu kāore anō kia arohia e te tangata hara. Engari i te mea ka taea te huri i tō ao mā te kaha me te whakapau kaha, kāore he turanga mō te tautohetohe "he tinihanga i mua, he tinihanga tonu". 

4. Ehara i te mea ko te tinihanga he mea moepuku tonu

He rereke ki nga whakaaro rongonui, he whanaungatanga kore-ira Ehara i te mea koinei tonu te take matua o te kore whakapono. "Ko tētahi o ngā pono e warewarehia ana mō te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te mea ehara i te mea ko te taatai, ko te whanaungatanga moepuku rānei," te kī a Pooja, "Me whanake tahi ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i ngā āhuatanga katoa o te ao. Ko te taatai ​​tētahi o aua āhuatanga. Ina rerekē ngā whakaaro o ngā hoa e rua, ka taea te arahi ki te tinihanga."

Tērā pea ka whanake ngā hononga kare ā-roto ki tētahi atu wāhi, ā, ka whakakapi i te hononga tuatahi. "He maha ngā wā ka kitea e te tangata tētahi hapa i te taha kare ā-roto, i te taha hinengaro rānei i roto i tā rātou hononga tuatahi, ā, mā te hoa kē e whakakī taua āputa," tāna tāpiri. He maha ngā take kare ā-roto kei muri i te tinihanga:

• Ka taea e te 'hoa mahi' te piri rawa atu
• Tērā pea ka whiti noa ngā hoa pai i ētahi rohe
• Tērā pea ka piri te ngākau o te tangata ki taua hoa e ahua nei ko ia te tangata tino tika hei amuamu māna mō tō hoa rangatira.
• Tērā pea ka mārama ake tētahi mema o te AA, o tētahi rōpū tautoko rānei ki ō wheako i tō hoa rangatira.
• He rite tonu te mahi a tētahi hoa akomanga ki tētahi mahi rerekē e kore nei e arohia e te katoa

Tērā pea ka tīmata te tinihanga kare ā-roto, ā, ka noho tonu hei mahi whakapati mō te wā roa. Koia te take e uaua ai te hopu i ōna tohu. Akoranga e kī ana ko tētahi āhuatanga hinengaro mō ngā wāhine tinihanga ko tā rātou rapunga i te whakatutuki i te hiahia kare ā-roto, ā, kāore i te whai tonu i te moepuku. Ahakoa e kī ana ētahi he nui ake te mamae o te tinihanga moepuku i te tinihanga kare ā-roto, kāore ianei te tinihanga kare ā-roto e waiho hei tūmomo mōrearea nui atu, nui atu rānei ki te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga tuatahi? He mea tēnā hei whakaaroaro māu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whanoke i Muri i te Hopukina e Tinihanga Ana – 5 Ngā Mea Hei Tumanako, Me 7 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi

5. He rerekē te tauhohenga a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki ngā momo tinihanga rerekē

He maha ngā rangahau rangahau Kua whakaatuhia e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine he rerekē te tirohanga a te tāne ki te tinihanga. Ko tētahi o ngā mea whakamere mō te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ko te kaha ake o te urupare a te tāne ki te tinihanga ā-ira. Ko ngā wāhine ia, he nui ake te whakaohooho a te tinihanga ā-roto. Kua roa ngā kaipūtaiao e ngana ana ki te mārama ki te take o tēnei rerekētanga. Ko ētahi kua arotahi ki ngā hiahia whanaketanga o ia ira tangata, engari kāore anō kia tae ki tētahi whakatau kotahi.

6. He maha ngā tāngata tinihanga e mahi ana i tēnei mea nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore rātou i te arohia

He mea tino noa tēnei i roto i ngā wāhine tinihanga. tinihangatia wahine ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te mārama he aha ia i pēnei ai? Tērā pea kua pāngia ia e te koretake o te kare ā-roto i roto i te marena. Ko te korenga o te hononga kare ā-roto ki te hoa matua, me te kore e maiohahia, te kore e arohia, te kore e arohia, te whakaitihia, te kore whakaute, te kore mārama rānei, he momo rerekē o te koretake o te kare ā-roto i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa he nui ake te tūponotanga o tēnei ki te huri i te whiringa a te wahine ki te tinihanga, ka taea e ngā tāne te hē mena ka puta tēnei i te kāinga.

7. Ka taea e te tangata te tinihanga hei rapu utu

He take miharo pea tēnei mō te moe tahi a te tangata, he take koretake rānei mō te puremu. Engari he pono tonu. Tinihanga rapu utu Ko te hinengaro e hangai ana ki ngā whanonga utu-mō-te-tat. I ētahi wā ka ngana te tangata ki te whakahoki i te utu ki ō rātou hoa mā te tinihanga i a rātou. Ka taea e te tangata te mahi i tēnei hei rapu utu mō tētahi momo tinihanga rerekē, rite rānei, mō tētahi atu whara rānei i pā ki a rātou. Ko te tinihanga rapu utu he urupare kare ā-roto e whakamahi ana i tētahi atu tangata engari e aro tonu ana ki te hoa matua. Ka taea hoki te kite i tēnei hei whanonga rapu aro.

8. Ka puta pea te kore whakapono i ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro

He hononga tino mārama kei waenganui i ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro me te kore whakahaere, arā, te manukanuka me te pouri e arahi ana ki te puremu. Pērā i te hunga e pāngia ana e te mamae me te ahotea e ngana ana ki te whakangāwari i a rātou anō ki ngā matū whakawara, ka taea e rātou te whakamahi i ngā whanonga moepuku rerekē mō te kaupapa kotahi. Ka taea e te hunga whai mate bipolar te wheako i te taikaha o te moepuku. Ka taea e te hunga e pāngia ana e te pouri te rapu i te tere o te adrenaline ka puta mai i te huna me te tinihanga.

9. Kāore te hunga tinihanga e ngaro te aroha ki tā rātou hoa matua i ngā wā katoa

Ko te kore harikoa i roto i te whanaungatanga tuatahi tetahi o ngā tino take e tinihanga ai te tangata i ā rātou hoa, engari ko te hunga i roto ngā whanaungatanga harikoa ka taea hoki e te tangata te tinihanga. Ahakoa i puta te tinihanga nā ngā take kare ā-roto, ehara i te mea kua mutu te aroha o te tangata tinihanga ki tana hoa matua. 

Engari ka taea e koe te tinihanga i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe? He maha atu anō ngā mea ka ārahi i tētahi tangata pūmau ki te he:

• Ahakoa te aroha nui o te tangata tinihanga ki tana hoa, e rapu tonu ana ia i tētahi mea i waho o te whanaungatanga matua.
• Tērā pea ko te tinihanga he hua nō te hiahia ki te whakahihiri, he hihiri e ahu mai ana i te tuakiri
• Tērā pea ka whakakahangia e te kaha hou o te whanaungatanga, e ngaro ana pea i te whanaungatanga tuatahi mai i te mutunga o te wā honi.
• Ka puta mai pea he whai wāhitanga i te wā ngoikore

Te pānui e pā ana: He moemoeā mō te tinihanga i tō hoa? Koinei te tikanga tuturu

10. Kāore ngā tāngata tinihanga e hiahia tonu ki te whakamutu i tā rātou whanaungatanga o nāianei

Kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau mō ngā āhuatanga hinengaro mō te wahine tinihanga, kāore te nuinga o ngā wāhine e tinihanga hei whakamutu i tā rātou hononga matua. Ahakoa he aha te take, ki te whakatau te wahine ki te tinihanga, ka mahi ia i tēnei hei tāpiri i tana hononga matua ki tētahi mahi moepuku, ehara i te mea hei whakamutu. Ahakoa mō te hunga e whai ana i te tinihanga noa, e kī ana ngā rangahau kāore pea rātou e tino hiahia ana ki te whakamutu i tā rātou hononga. Ko te mea nui pea ko ngā whanonga maha-hoa, ko te iti rānei o te whakapau kaha. 

11. Ka puta mai pea te moe tāne i te hiahia nui ki te hanga hou i a koe anō

I whakahaerehia e Gleeden, he paetukutuku whakaipoipo mō te hunga kua marenatia, tētahi rangahau o ngā wāhine kua moe tāne, ā, i kitea he rerekē te āhua o te ira tangata o ngā wāhine ki ā rātou hoa aroha i tō rātou ki ā rātou tāne. E whakaatu mārama ana tēnei he rerekē ngā putanga o te tangata ki a rātou anō me ngā tāngata rerekē, me te mea nei he rua ngā oranga o te tangata.

He take nui tēnei e tinihanga ai te tangata kia titiro ai ki a rātou anō i roto i tētahi tirohanga hou. He whai wāhitanga tēnei ki te whakaatu anō i a koe hei tangata tino rerekē ki tō hoa moepuku. He whai wāhitanga tēnei ki te whakakore i ngā taumahatanga o mua, ki te puta atu rānei i tō āhua o nāianei i roto i ngā kanohi o te hoa tawhito. Ko te aroha hou i te taha he papa ma hei hanga whakairo hou.

12. Ka tinihanga ētahi tāngata nā te kore e taurite te moepuku

Ina kore ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e kitea te pai o te moepuku i roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga matua nā te kore ōrite o ngā hiahia moepuku, ngā āhua rerekē, ngā moemoeā moepuku rānei, he nui ake te tūponotanga ka rapu rātou i tētahi atu wāhi moepuku. Ko te hiahia ki te whakatutuki i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana he mea nui hei akiaki i te moepuku.

Ahakoa e whakaaro ana te tangata he āhuatanga hinengaro tēnei mō te tangata tinihanga, ako i kitea he nui ake te tūponotanga o ngā wāhine ki te "whakarerekē i te moepuku ina kore e taurite ā-ira ki tā rātou hoa, ā, tera pea e tohu ana tēnei i te hononga o ngā āhuatanga ā-ira me te whanaungatanga hei whakanui ake i te tūponotanga o te puremu".

13. He tokomaha atu e tinihanga ana nā te manukanuka ā-ira tangata

Kāore pea koe i whakaaro ka rongo koe i ēnei kōrero mō ngā tāngata tinihanga. E whakaaro ana koe he nui ake te maia ki te moepuku me te hihiri o ngā tāngata tinihanga i tō hoa noa. Engari, mehemea ka kī mātou, tera pea he pono te ritenga kē? Ko ētahi tāngata e tinihanga ana nā te mea e pāngia ana rātou e te manukanuka mahi moepuku ā, e hiahia ana ki tētahi wāhi iti ake te mōrearea, huna ake hoki mō te moepuku, kia kore ai rātou e manukanuka ki te putanga.

Ko tētahi noa iho tēnā o ngā kitenga whakamīharo o tētahi mea hou ako mō ngā āhuatanga e tohu ana i te kore pono. Ka rapua e ēnei tāngata he hononga kotahi mō te pō kotahi, he hononga poto rānei, kia kore ai rātou e manukanuka ki te tūtaki anō ki tēnei tangata.

14. Kāore te puremu i te whakamaheretia i ngā wā katoa

Me i tinihanga rātou, kua roa pea rātou e whakaaroaro ana mō tēnei mea mai i te rā tuatahi, tika? Kua roa pea rātou e whakamahere ana i te mea katoa i roto i ō rātou mahunga. Kāore i kitea he whare hotera i raro i tō rātou ingoa? Āe, he ingoa rūpahu pea tā rātou i whakamahi ai, kua roa kē rātou e whakaaroaro ana mō tēnei mea, tika?

Kāore, kāore rawa. "Ehara i te mea ka hangaia e te katoa he tūtohi rere hei tinihanga," te kī a Pooja, "I te nuinga o te wā, ko te hua o ngā āhuatanga maha e ārahi ana i te hunga pūmau ki te titiro ki waho o tā rātou whanaungatanga matua. Ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga te puta ko te kare ā-roto, te hinengaro, me ētahi wā he mahi noa iho pērā i te kore e taea te whakapau i te wā kounga me te hoa rangatira, te kore rānei te ngaro o te hiahia ki te whanaungatanga, etc. ”

15. Kāore te tinihanga e mutu tonu ai te whanaungatanga

Ki te mea kei te whakaatu mai ngā māramatanga mō te hinengaro o te tinihanga ka taea e te tangata tinihanga te huri, ko te tikanga ka taea e te whanaungatanga te ora tonu i taua whiu. Tērā pea te ahua kua kore te hononga o kōrua nā te mea kua tangohia e tō hoa tētahi atu hoa aroha. Ā, he tika anō hoki. Kua pakaru te whakawhirinaki, ā, tera pea e kore e taea te hanga anō. Engari ka mōhio wawe koe, ehara i te mea koinā te āhua. 

"He maha ngā whanaungatanga e ora tonu ana i muri i ngā raruraru, i ētahi wā ka maha ngā whanaungatanga. Inaa, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e uru ana ki tētahi wāhanga pai ake o tō rātou whanaungatanga i muri i te whakaoranga mai i tētahi whanaungatanga. He maha ngā tikanga o te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga rerekē, ā, kāore e tika kia mutu," te kī a Pooja.

Te muru i te hara o te tangata i tinihanga Ehara i te mea ngāwari te mahi i te ao. Engari, nā te mea e whakaatu ana te whakaaro kei muri i te tinihanga me te teka, kāore te tangata tinihanga e noho tonu hei tangata tinihanga mō te toenga o tōna oranga, he tino taea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i ngā āhuatanga katoa.  

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16. Mā te mahi i roto i te whanoke ka kaha ake te whanaungatanga

He tino kino te pāngia o te tokorua e te puremu i roto i te whanaungatanga. He rerekē ngā tatauranga e homai ana e ngā rangahau rerekē, engari he tika ki te whakaae haurua, 50% rānei o ngā marena e pāngia ana e tēnei raruraru ka mutu ki te wehenga, ki te whakarere rānei. Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te haurua o rātou ka ora i te raruraru o te marena. E whakapono ana ngā tohunga mā te mahi i roto i te puremu ka taea te whakatata i te tokorua, ā, ko ngā tokorua e angitu ana ki te wikitoria i tēnei awha ka kaha ake.

He rongo pai tēnā i te mutunga o tēnei tuhinga. Ki te mea kei te pāngia koe e te kore whakapono i roto i tō marena, rapua he āwhina ngaio, hoatu ki tō whanaungatanga te manaakitanga me te wā kounga e hiahiatia ana, me te hoatu ki a ia te whakapau kaha e hiahiatia ana, ā, e kore e ora noa tō whanaungatanga, engari ka taea hoki e ia te tupu.

17. Ngā meka tinihanga matapōkere tāpiri

Nā te mea kua hurahia e tātou ētahi kōrero pakiwaitara e puritia ana e te tangata mō ngā kaipahua, he pai ake kia tirohia ētahi tau tinihanga whakamere kāore i te mōhiotia e te nuinga o te tangata. Me ruku tātou ki ētahi kōrero tinihanga:

• Akoranga e kī ana he 40% te nui ake o te tinihanga a ngā wāhine i tō rātou mahi i mua, i roto i te haurua rautau kua hipa
• A ako i kitea he nui ake te tūponotanga o ngā tāne ki te tinihanga i mua i te taenga ki tētahi rā whānau nui, arā, i te 29, 39, 49, me te 59 tau te pakeke
• A ako e kitea ana he nui ake te tūponotanga o ngā hoa rangatira e whakawhirinaki ana ki te taha pūtea ki te tinihanga i ā rātou hoa. Mō te wahine e whakawhirinaki ana ki tana tāne i te taha pūtea, e 5% te tūponotanga ka tinihanga ia. Mō te tāne e whakawhirinaki ana ki tana wahine i te taha pūtea, e 15% te tūponotanga ka tinihanga ia.
• Ko tētahi āhuatanga hinengaro noa mō te tāne me te wahine tinihanga, he nui ake te tūponotanga ka tinihanga rāua me ngā hoa piripono, he ako kitea
• A tera e nga pakeke he nui ake te tūponotanga ki te tinihanga i te hunga taitamariki

He tika te kī ko ngā meka pūtaiao mō te tinihanga i ahu mai i ngā raraunga wheako me ngā pūrākau i hurahia e tātou, he mea tino miharo. He maha ngā wā he maha ngā paparanga o tēnei āhuatanga, ā, i ētahi wā he mahi kore whakaaro noa iho "i tupu noa".

He kaupapa tino whaiaro, he kaupapa uaua hoki te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea e ahua tinihanga ana ki tētahi tangata, he mea kino pea te takaro ki tētahi atu. Ko te tumanako, mā ngā kōrero kua whakarārangihia i tēnei rā koe e āwhina ki te mārama ake ki te tinihanga, ki a koe anō, ki tō hoa rangatira, me tō whanaungatanga. Me noho tahi kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ki te whārangi kotahi mō te tinihanga, me te tautuhi i taua mea mō tō whanaungatanga i te tuatahi.

Mena kei te pāngia koe e te whanoke, e tētahi atu āhuatanga rānei o tō whanaungatanga, ka taea e te rongoā ā-tāne te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i ēnei wai pōrearea. He mea nui ki a Bonobology he tini o ngā kaitohutohu whai wheako ko wai ka pai ki te āwhina i a koe i tēnei wā whakamātautau. Whakapā mai ki a koe mō te āwhina.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i roto i Paenga-whāwhā 2023.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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