Ki te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ko te mea tino whakararuraru i te whanaungatanga ko te puremu. Tērā pea ka pā mai he awha ki ngā marena mai i ngā taha katoa, engari ko tētahi o ngā tino take e pakaru ai te whanaungatanga ko te tinihanga. Heoi anō, ka rerekē te pānga o te puremu ki te whanaungatanga. Tērā ētahi mahi ka pakaru ai te marena, ā, kei reira ētahi wā ka maia ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i te tinihanga kia kaha ake ai.
Ae, me tino kaha te hinengaro kia taea ai e koe te muru i tō hoa tinihanga, me te whakaae anō ki a ia kia hoki mai ki roto i tō ao. Heoi, ki te rite koe ki te nuinga o te iwi, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te wehe atu i te marena ahakoa te uaua o te mahi pera.
Ina wehe atu te tangata, ā, kua pakaru te marena nā te moepuku, ka roa rānei ngā moepuku e pakaru ai te marena? Kei te noho tonu rānei ngā moepuku e huri ana hei marena? He aha te momo kino ka kitea mai i ngā moepuku roa ina kua marenatia ngā taha e rua? Kia kitea ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te mōhio.
Ka pakaru tonu ngā marena i ngā mahi ā-ira?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Hei mārama ki te pānga o te puremu ki te marena, me ngā take e pakaru ai te marena, he mea nui kia mārama ki te take e tinihanga ai te tangata.
" He tikanga whakatau i te raruraru te puremu , tata rite ki te petipeti, te inu waipiro me ētahi atu tikanga kino," te kī a Sushma Perla, he Tohunga Whakatikatika Hinengaro, he Kaiako Ora Matua, me te kaimahi NLP nō te UAE.
"Ko te nuinga o te tangata ka kotiti ke atu nā te mea kāore ētahi o ā rātou hiahia i tutuki i roto i tā rātou marena. Ko ā rātou hiahia - ahakoa he tinana, he kare ā-roto, he aha atu rānei - i tutuki pea i waho o tā rātou whanaungatanga. Ko te take me te hohonu o te whanaungatanga ka whakatau mena ka taea te whakangaro i te marena," tāna tāpiri.
He mea nui anō hoki te tauhohenga a te hoa. Mēnā kotahi noa te tinihanga a te tāne, a te wahine rānei, ā, he wā kotahi noa iho, i ētahi wā ka kitea e te hoa te tikanga kia murua te hara, kia wareware, kia neke atu.
"Kei reira anō hoki ētahi tāne me ngā wāhine e mahi ana i ā rātou ake huarahi i roto i te raruraru," te kī a Sushma. "Tērā pea ka mōhio rātou kua kore te aroha e pā ki a rātou , ā, ka hohonu ake tā rātou rapu i ngā take."
Ko ngā mahi whakaipoipo e pakaru ai te marena ko ngā mea e tino nui ana, e pumau ana. Mēnā ka taea e te mahi whakaipoipo te arahi ki tētahi hononga roa, ka tino pakaru te hononga e uru ana te tangata. Kāore he tāne, he wahine rānei e hiahia ki te tohatoha i tana hoa rangatira ki tētahi atu tangata. Ko te motuhaketanga he tohu o te marena, ā, mā te moe tahi, ka takahia e te tangata taua oati motuhaketanga.
Ara, kāore pea ngā mahi pūmau e whakangaro i te marena i ngā wā katoa, engari he pānga anō ō rātou pēnei i:
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1. Ka arahi rātou ki te pirau o te whakawhirinaki
Ko te tūāpapa o te marena ko te whakawhirinaki. Tērā ētahi take e pakaru ai te marena, ā, tērā ētahi wā o te tinihanga e whakatauhia ana me te kore e nui te kino. Heoi, i roto i ngā āhuatanga e rua, ka memeha haere te whakawhirinaki. E ai ki te kōrero, kāore te hoa e tinihangatia ana e tino harikoa ki tēnā.
2. Tērā pea ka kati te hoa i tinihangatia
Ko te āhua whānui o te tangata ko te anga atu ki te ahuareka, te oma atu rānei i te mamae. "Ki te mea kāore tātou i te pai, ki te mamae rānei tātou i te iti o te whakaaro ki a tātou anō, ka kati tātou i a tātou anō," te kī a Sushma.
Ka pā pea te moepuku a te hoa rangatira ki tōna hoa rangatira, ka whakapakeke i a ia, ka hanga taiepa anō hoki. "He uaua ki te noho ngoikore, ki te tuku rānei i tō tiaki i muri mai," tāna tāpiri.
3. Ka puta te mamae me te kino o te whakaute i ngā mahi ā-ture
Ina whakakahoretia e te tangata tētahi hononga ā-ira, engari ka mau, ka nui te kino ki te marena. Ko ngā hononga ā-ira e pakaru ai te marena he mea huna, he mea teka hoki, ina whakakahoretia e te hoa tinihanga tana tinihanga, ka whakamahia rānei hei tuku i te he ki ētahi atu tāngata, ki ngā āhuatanga rānei.
4. Kei reira tonu ngā kapiti
Ahakoa te kaha o te tokorua ki te houhia te rongo i muri i te puremu , ka waiho e te whanaungatanga he pānga pumau ki te marena. E kore rawa ngā mea e rite anō ki te āhua o mua. Waihoki, ka puta ake te riri me te mamae i muri i te wā kua roa te whakapae kua whakamutua te take tinihanga, ā, ka mutu pea te whakarere – tera pea i muri i te tinihanga.
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Ahakoa kāore pea ngā mahi moepuku e mutu i ngā wā katoa, he nui tonu te kino o te whanaungatanga. Kāore i te miharo ka mutu tonu ngā marena i ngā wā katoa. Engari, he aha te mea ka pā ki aua mahi moepuku i muri i te pakaru o te marena nā aua mahi? Ka roa rānei ngā mahi moepuku e pakaru ai te marena?
Ka roa rānei ngā whanaungatanga e whati ai te marena?
Kāore he whakautu 'āe', 'kāo' rānei ki te pātai. Tērā pea he iti noa te tūponotanga o te ora tonu o ngā hononga e pakaru ai te marena, engari kei runga i ngā āhuatanga o te wehenga. "Ka roa pea ngā hononga e pakaru ai te marena mēnā kua pakaru te tauira a te tokorua, ā, kua ako i ngā akoranga. Ki te kore, ko te mea tonu i whakangaro i te marena ka puta anō i te whanaungatanga e whai ake nei," te kī a Sushma.
Hei tauira, mēnā nā te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te marena, nā te hiahia rānei ki te moepuku i arahi ai ki te tinihanga, ki te kore aua take e whakatauhia, tera pea ka pāngia te whanaungatanga e whai ake nei.
Ahakoa he uaua ake te whakautu ki te pātai "me mau tonu ngā mahi moepuku e mutu ai te marena" i te 'āe' me te 'kāo' noa iho, tera ētahi āhuatanga ka taea e tātou te tirotiro kia pai ake ai te māramatanga. Anei ētahi āhuatanga hei whakatau mēnā ka mau tonu ngā mahi moepuku e pakaru ai te marena:
1. Te oranga o te tangata i te mamae
He tino kino ētahi wehenga, ā, ka tere tonu te uru atu o te tangata ki tētahi hononga hou me te mea ka hoki anō ki te ora. "Mēnā koinei te āhua, ka pāngia hoki te hononga hou e te werawera, nā te mea ka pāngia te tangata i wehe atu i te marena e te mamae o te ngākau. Tērā pea kua nekehia e rātou tā rātou hononga, ā, kua hurihia hei hononga tino pakari, kāore i te whakaora i te hītori, nō reira, he uaua ki te pupuri tonu," te kī a Sushma.
Nō reira, i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakautu "ka roa ake ngā mahi whakaipoipo e pakaru ai te marena", tirohia te tere o te whakatau a te hoa tinihanga ki te ruku ki roto i tana whanaungatanga hou. Mena i tatari ia mō te 1.5 rā, e mōhio ana koe ko te tūponotanga o taua roanga he rite ki te teitei o tōna IQ. He pono, nōnahea te wā whakamutunga i whakatau pai ai rātou?
2. He aha te pūtake o te mahi?
Ko te nuinga o ngā mahi whakaipoipo e pakaru ai te marena he uaua ki te pumau mēnā kāore i te pakari te turanga. Ko ngā mahi whakaipoipo i waho o te marena, ahakoa he kare ā-roto, he moepuku rānei, ka tīmata i runga i te tinihanga teka, i ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, i te hiahia ki te whakatutuki i ngā āhuatanga e ngaro ana i roto i tā rātou marena o nāianei, me ērā atu mea.
Kia memeha te whanaungatanga matua, ka ngaro atu anō hoki te tūāpapa e tū ana te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore he haumitanga kare ā-roto hohonu i ngā taha e rua, he uaua te pupuri i te whanaungatanga. Waihoki, ko tētahi atu āhuatanga ko te kore e taea e ngā whanaungatanga te whakaoti rapanga i ngā raruraru o nāianei e pā ana ki te whanaungatanga.
3. Me pēhea te whakaae a te whānau ki te mahi taikaha?
Ahakoa ngā mahi whakaipoipo e pakaru ai te marena ka arahi ki te hononga pakari i waenganui i te tokorua hou, tera atu anō ngā wero e pā ana ki a rāua. Tērā pea he pai rawa atu te tokorua nei mō rāua, engari ka tūtaki rāua ki te ātete a te whānau. Kāore i te maha ngā wā ka kitea te aroha, te whakaae rānei o ngā hoa rangatira tinihanga . He uaua te whiwhi tautoko i a rāua, i ngā wāhanga tuatahi.
Ā, ki te mea he tamariki kei roto, ka nui ake ngā tāngata e pāngia ana e ngā marena tuarua mai i ngā mahi moepuku, ehara i te hunga mātua anake. Nō reira, ko te āhua o te whānau e whakaae ana ki te whakamātautau katoa tētahi o ngā tino take e pakaru ai ngā mahi moepuku i tua atu i te marena ahakoa kua wehea.
4. Mena ka roa ake te 'whakahihiri'
Ko ētahi o ngā mahi whakaipoipo ka tīmata i runga i te ngākau mōrearea, te harikoa o te ngau i te hua rāhui. E mōhio ana koe he hē te tinihanga engari ka whakaora i a koe. Heoi, ehara tēnei whakahihiri poto i te whakakapi mō te whanaungatanga roa, he wā e roa ai te hanga me te whakapakari. Ka roa noa tō hononga whakaipoipo mēnā kua hipa koe i te wāhanga 'whakahihiri' ā, ka nui ake te whai tikanga.
Nō reira, ka roa rānei ngā mahi whakaipoipo e pakaru ai te marena? Kāore, ki te kore rātou e kimi wawe i tētahi atu hei tinihanga mā rātou kia mau tonu ai te mahi whakaipoipo tuatahi. Arā, he tangata kino rātou e pai ana ki te whakamamae i tā rātou hoa kia pai ai te noho.
5. E whakaae ana ngā tamariki ki te whanaungatanga?
Ina moe tāne te tangata kua marenatia, ā, he tamariki āna, ka nui haere ngā raruraru. Tērā pea he raruraru kei roto i te marena o te tangata e kōrerohia ana, engari he aha te āhua o tana whanaungatanga ki ngā tamariki, mēnā he raruraru? Mēnā kua pakeke ngā tamariki ki te whakaute i te whanaungatanga hou o ō rātou mātua, ka nui ake te tūponotanga o te oranga o aua moe tāne e pakaru ai te marena.
Nō reira, ina ngana koe ki te whakautu "ka roa te mau o ngā mahi moepuku e mutu ai ngā marena?", he huarahi pai te tauhohenga a ngā tamariki ki te tangata i tinihangatia e ō rātou mātua. He nui ake ngā mahi e hiahiatia ana mā taua tangata tinihanga kia riro mai ai te whakawhirinaki o ngā tamariki, kaua ko ngā koha me ngā tiakarete anake.
6. Te āhua o te marena
He aha te āhua o te marena i te wā i tīmata ai kōrua i te moe tāne? He harikoa noa iho rānei? I ora noa kōrua ko tō hoa me ngā raruraru o ia rā? Kua tata kē rānei te pakaru? Mena i tīmata te moe tāne i te horopaki whakamutunga, ko te āhua pōuri o tō kōrua marena pea te pūtake e whakakaha ana i te whanaungatanga, e hoatu ana ki a kōrua te hihiri ki te wehe atu.
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7. Te take hara
Ko te hunga e pāngia ana e ngā mahi moepuku e pakaru ai te marena, he maha tonu te mamae o te hara. Ahakoa te whakamārama me te whakamārama mō te mahi moepuku, he uaua ki te tautoko. Ko te nui ake o te hara e pā ana ki te tangata mō te pakaru o tā rātou marena, ko te iti ake o te tūponotanga ka roa te mahi moepuku. He maha ngā wā ka taupokina te whakama me te hara e ngā mahi moepuku e pakaru ai te marena.
Ka roa rānei ngā mahi whakaipoipo e pakaru ai te marena? Ngāna kia mōhiotia mēnā he tino kore aroha te hoa tinihanga ki te tinihanga, engari kāore i te tino kore aroha ki te mahi i taua mahi me te kore he hara.
8. Whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga hou
Ahakoa he marena, he mahi whakaipoipo rānei, ko te whakawhirinaki me te here te mea nui kia mau tonu ai. Ahakoa he mahi whakahihiri e pakaru ai te marena, tera pea kei roto i ngā āhuatanga katoa o te whanaungatanga pai i te tīmatanga, engari ko te roa o tōna pumau kei te nui o tō whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa hou, me te rite tonu. Ko tētahi o ngā pātai e puta ake ana i roto i tō hinengaro ko – mēnā ka taea e rātou te wawahi i tā rātou marena mō tēnei mahi whakaipoipo, he aha te taurangi kāore rātou e tinihanga anō i a koe?
9. Kua tutukihia ngā hiahia katoa?
Ka roa pea te whanaungatanga mena ka whiwhi ngā taha e rua i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e rāua. I ētahi wā, ehara pea i te aroha – he nui ake te tūponotanga he mawhiti tinana, he mawhiti kare ā-roto rānei. Ki te kitea e te tangata kua 'mawhiti' i tana whanaungatanga o nāianei kāore āna hiahia e tutukihia ana i roto i te whanaungatanga, he iti noa te tūponotanga ka ora tonu.
E hia ngā mahi moepuku ka mutu i te marena?
He uaua ki te kī tika e hia ngā mahi moepuku ka mutu i te marena. E ai ki ngā tatauranga, ka pakaru ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena ahakoa kua wehea. He tino iti te auau o ngā marena tuarua mai i ngā mahi moepuku , i waenga i te 3 ki te 5%. Nō reira, kāore i te tino maha ngā mahi moepuku ka mutu hei marena.
Ahakoa kāore pea ngā tatauranga e tautoko i te mutunga o te marena, tera pea ka roa tonu te wā. He nui hei wawahi i te marena tuatahi. Ko te roanga o te hiahia tuatahi o te whanaungatanga e ono ki te 18 marama, ā, ko ngā whanaungatanga e ora tonu ana i taua wā he nui ake te tūponotanga ka arahi ki te marena. He maha atu anō ngā āhuatanga e pā ana ki tēnei.
Ngā āhuatanga o te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga , ngā take e tūtaki ai te tokorua i te tuatahi, mēnā e tutuki ana i te whanaungatanga ngā hiahia o te hunga e whai wāhi ana, me te maha atu anō. Ahakoa pēhea, ehara te marena i te pūtake o te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea nui, i te mutunga, ko tōna kaha me te āhei ki te tu atu i ngā awha e pā mai ana ki ia tokorua.
FAQs
Ehara i te mea onge ngā marena tuarua i puta mai i te moepuku, mena he kaha te marena hei whakangaueue i te turanga o te marena tuatahi, ā, ko ngā matea kāore anō kia ea o te whanaungatanga ka tutuki pai i roto i te moepuku.
Ko te tikanga ka mutu ngā hononga ā-ira i waenganui i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine nā te kore whakaae a te whānau, a ngā tamariki rānei, te kore whakawhirinaki e pupū ake ana i te haere tonu o te hononga ā-ira, me te whakaaro whakama me te whakama e pā ana ki ngā hononga ā-ira i waho o te marena.
Kāore he take e kore ai e taea te kī he aroha pono te moepuku i waho o te marena. Mēnā ka tūtaki te tangata ki tōna hoa rangatira i muri i te marena, he uaua ki te whakatau kia noho marena tonu, kia kaua rānei. Heoi, kāore tēnā e tango i ngā kare ā-roto o te whanaungatanga hou.
Ina koa koe i te marena engari e aroha ana koe ki tētahi atu
Me pēhea taku aroha ki tētahi atu tangata ina koa kua harikoa taku marena?
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
