Ka aroha ētahi i roto i ngā hēkona tuatahi o te tūtakitanga ki tētahi, ko ētahi ia ka roa ngā rā, ngā wiki, ngā marama rānei ki te aroha. Ka aro atu ētahi ki tētahi atu i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ko ētahi ka aroha i muri i te marena – engari kāore i te tino aroha ki tā rātou hoa rangatira. Ka taea e koe te harikoa i roto i te marena, engari ka aroha ki tētahi atu i muri i te marena – ā, ahakoa he rite ki te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga ki waho o te marena, kāore pea i te pono i ngā wā katoa. He maha ngā take e whakaaro tonu ai koe ki tētahi atu ahakoa kua marena koe.
I kōrero mai tētahi kaipānui mōna me tana tāne mō ngā tau e whitu neke atu e noho tahi ana rāua, ā, he tino pai ki a rāua tetahi ki tetahi. Ko rāua te hunga tautoko nui rawa atu mō tētahi ki tetahi, ā, he tino pai te noho tahi. Heoi, i te roanga o te wā, kua mau rāua ki tētahi momo tikanga, ā, ki a ia, kāore i te tino whakahihiri tana marena. I tana haerenga ki tana hui anō i te kāreti, ka tūtaki ia ki tētahi o ana hoa aroha o mua, ā, ka tīmata te mura o te aroha. Ahakoa i tana hokinga ki te whakamarie o tōna kāinga, kāore i taea e ia te kore e whakaaro ki a ia. Kua rongo ia i ngā kōrero mō te hunga e aro ana ki tētahi atu i roto i te whanaungatanga, engari i piripono ia mō tōna oranga katoa! He wiki te roa o tā rāua tuku karere, engari i te mutunga, ka tīmata te hoha ki taua hoahoa.
Ina koa tō marena, ā, kua kitea kua hinga koe ki tētahi atu, ka rite koe ki te kai i taua hua rāhui o te aroha. Ā, ināianei, kei te kai kino i tō wairua. Ko te whakaaro o te hara tonu tētahi o ngā hua kino rawa atu o tēnei mahi. He maha ngā pātai kua tae mai ki a mātou, ā, kua whakautua e ō mātou tohunga, nō reira kia mōhio koe ehara i te mea onge ēnei take.
Te aha?
Nā te mea i ahu mai te hua o te aroha i tētahi rākau i waho o ngā taiepa rohe here o te marena. Tērā pea kua roa koe e whakahīhī ana ki te pumau o tō marena, ā, kei reira tonu koe hei tautoko i ō hoa ina mauheretia rātou e mahi ana i ā rātou mahi. nga take o wahoĀ, ināianei kua āhua rite tēnei tangata ki te pokapū o tō ao. Nō reira, he aroha tēnei? He hiahia nui rānei? He hiahia noa iho rānei?
He pono kua makutu tetahi i a koe. He aha atu rā koe ka whai kare ā-roto ki tētahi atu i a koe e harikoa ana i roto i te marena? Kāore rānei, kei raro noa iho koe i te whakaaro pohehe kei te harikoa koe? Kāore rānei, kei te rere koe i roto i te hinengaro haurangi, ā, kāore e pai ki te whakarere i te whakawai e kawea mai ana e ia. Tērā pea kei te hoha noa koe. Kua moe wahine koe, ā, kei te aroha ki tētahi atu?
He uaua kē te aroha ki tētahi atu i a koe e marena ana, tāpirihia te harikoa o te marena ki te whārite, ā, ka noho hei tunu mō te aituā. Kua marena koe, engari tera pea nā ō whanonga i arahi ētahi atu ki te whakaaro he takakau koe ? Ka pātai koe ki a koe anō nā te mea kāore koe e mārama ki te mea e tupu ana. Kei te pōhēhē koe, kei te tinihangatia koe e tō ngākau. He aha te tangata e harikoa ana te marena, e ora ana i te oranga ngākau māhorahora, ka hinga ki tētahi atu i waho o te marena? He porangi koe ki te whai kare ā-roto mō tētahi atu i a koe e marena ana, ka pātai koe ki a koe anō i ngā tini pātai, ā, ka whakangaro i tō rangimārie hinengaro?
8 Ngā Take e Aroha ai te Tangata ki tētahi i Waho i te Mārenatanga
Ripanga o Ihirangi
E kiia ana te marena he mea pumau tonu, engari he maha ngā āhuatanga e kore ai e aroha ngā tokorua, ā, ka whakarērea te whakaaetanga harikoa pumau.
1. Nā te mea he tangata
He ngoikore, he hapa hoki tātou te tangata i ētahi wā, pērā i te marena e herea nei tātou. Ā, ki te whai kare ā-roto ki tētahi atu i a tātou e marena ana, he hara rewera tēnā? Kāo, he uauatanga noa iho tēnei o te tangata. Ka taka tonu koe ki roto, ki waho hoki i te aroha. I tēnei rā ka whai kare ā-roto koe ki tētahi atu; āpōpō ka tīmata koe ki te whakama, ka hoki anō ki te aroha ki tō hoa kua marenatia. Pērā i te timu me te rere o ngā tai. Kua marenatia koe engari kei te aroha koe ki tētahi atu, kātahi ka hoki anō koe ki te aroha ki tō hoa. He māmā noa iho. Me mahara tonu koe he hononga tino kaha te marena ka taea te ora i ngā hara a kōrua ko tō hoa. Kia mārama ko te kukume ki tētahi atu he mea noa, engari ko tāu e whiriwhiri ai ki te mahi me ēnei kare ā-roto kei a koe.
Pānui e Pā Ana: Te Mea Ngaro i Muri i te Tīmatanga me te Whakamutunga o tētahi Whakaipoipo Tāpiri
2. Kei te whakaaro koe kei te noho tahi koe me te tangata hē
E 25 ōu tau. I taea e koe te whakaoti i taua tohu, kātahi ka whiriwhiri ki te marena. Engari i whiriwhiria e koe te ruku i a koe ki te kēmu e kīia nei ko te ora, nā te mea koinei anake te huarahi hei whakataetae māu ki ō hoa. E 25 ōu tau, he aha te tere? Me i kaha koe ki te tū atu mō ōu ake hiahia, kua kore koe e mutu ki tēnei marena. Ā tōna wā, ā tōna wā ka puta te 'mehemea' ki a koe. Ā, ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kei te noho pūmau koe ki te tangata hē nā te mea he whakatau hē. Ā, ka tīmata koe ki te rapu i te tangata tika, i waho o tō marena. Nā te mea kua kitea e koe taua tangata, kāore koe i te tino mōhio me aha koe.
I tīmata tētahi wahine i harikoa tana marena mō ngā tau neke atu i te 10, ā, ka riri ki tana tāne nā te mea kāore ia i te tino angitu i roto i tōna ao. I te kitenga i tana tāne e angitu ana i roto i tana mahi ngaio, i a ia e kī ana i ngā mahi o te whare me ngā mahi mātua, ka tino pōuri ia. Heoi, kia mahara kāore i te roa rawa. I haere tonu tēnei wahine ki te whiwhi tohu mātauranga i roto i te kaunihera, ā, kei te mahi tahi ia me ētahi kiritaki tūmau. Kāore i te roa rawa te wā ki te whakatutuki i ō moemoeā.
3. Ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kāore koe e kitea
Kei tētahi taha tō hoa rangatira, ahakoa te maha o ngā ohorere, ngā whaki aroha, ngā rihi motuhake, ngā mahi iti hei tiaki i ō rātou hiahia, 'kāore' rātou e aro ki a koe. Ā, ko te mea kino rawa atu, kāore rātou e maioha ki a koe. Ko te kore whakaaro ki a koe tētahi o ngā raruraru nui rawa atu i roto i te marena roa, ā, ki te pēnei te āhua o tō whanaungatanga, me noho tahi kōrua ki te kōrero ki tō tāne.
Ki te hiahia koe kia hiahiatia, kia kitea, kia maiohatia, kia manaakitia hoki koe, tera pea ka whakamatautauria koe ki te rapu i taua mea i waho o tō marena.
4. Ka wehe atu te harikoa i te marena
Ko tētahi o ngā tino take e tīmata ai koe ki te aroha ki tētahi atu tangata ehara i tō hoa rangatira, ko te rite o te marena ki tētahi rūma whakawā hoha. I muri i ngā tau maha o te marena, ka mōhio koe kua wehe mārire te 'harikoa' i tō marena. Kāore he harikoa i a kōrua e noho tahi ana, he hikoi mutunga kore noa iho o te tohatoha mahi me te tiaki tamariki, whānau, mahi. Nō reira, ka tīmata koe ki te aroha ki tētahi e whakaora ana i a koe. Tērā pea ka tīmata hei hoa harakore engari i mua i tō mōhio, ka tīmata ngā mea ki te huri hei mea hohonu, ā, ka aroha koe ki tētahi i waho o tō marena.
5. Te maumahara ki ngā rā o ngā pūrerehua i roto i te puku
Kei te mau tonu tētahi wāhanga o koe i ngā rā onamata. Kei te ngaro koe i te harikoa, i te tere o te adrenaline me te ngākau o ngā rā tōmua o te whakaipoipo me te aroha. Engari kāore he mea pēnei e taea te tupu i roto i tō marena, kua ora kē koe i taua wā honimene . Nō reira ka tīmata koe ki te rapu i taua haerenga me tētahi atu i waho o tō marena. Kia mahara, he maha ngā huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te harikoa o tō marena, hei mea hoki kia aroha anō tō tāne ki a koe.
6. Kāore he aroha pono
He wā nui hei whakakore i te whakaaro pohehe. Ko tāu i 'whakaaro' he aroha, he whakakotahitanga o te hiahia, te ngākau nui, te werawera me te aroha noa. Kāore i kitea he hononga kare ā-roto tūturu. Nō reira, i te tīmatanga o te tango atu i aua paparanga mai i tō marena, ka tīmata koe ki te taka atu i te whakapono ki tō marena, ā, ka whakapae noa koe i te kore aroha.
7. Ka ngokingoki haere mai te hoha
Ina rite te marena ki te mea noa, ka tīmata te hoha ki te kimi huarahi. Ko ngā 'mea ōrite' e mahia ana e kōrua i ia rā, i ia rā, ā, ka tīmata kōrua te whakaaro kāore he harikoa, kāore he whakahihiri. Ka tino pai rawa atu kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, ka pai ki te oranga marena hoha e ora nei kōrua. Mā te marena ka whakamanahia te moepuku me te hiahia? Kāo, kāore, engari, ki te mea he mea rerekē te mea ka puta. Ka taea e tēnā te titiro ki waho o tō marena – ki te whawhai ki te hoha, ki te whai mea hou. Ā, nā te mea kua hoha koe, kāore koe e māharahara ki te tango i ngā tūponotanga koretake.
8. He ngoikore koe i te taha hinengaro
He tokomaha o tātou e pāngia ana e ngā wero o te ao, ā, i ētahi wā ka whakaraeraehia tātou e ēnei wero. Ko te hunga e pouri ana te kare ā-roto, ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka hanga e rātou te tumanako ki runga i ngā turanga pakarukaru. Koinei te mōrearea e pai ana rātou ki te tango me ō rātou oranga, i ētahi wā i roto i te āhua, i ngā mahi aroha harakore rānei . Heoi anō, tera tonu te tūponotanga kua kitea e koe tō aroha pono i waho o tō marena.
Ā, ki te tino mōhio koe koinei te āhua, tera pea ka kitea e koe he ara whakamua. Ki te tino aroha koe ki tētahi, ā, e aroha ana hoki rātou ki a koe, ā, e kite ana kōrua i tētahi heke mai tahi, haere tonu. Kaua e noho noa iho, e tūpono ana, e whara ai hoki ngā kare ā-roto o te hunga katoa e whai wāhi ana. Ā, ki te whakatau koe ki te kawe i tēnei ki mua, kia tino pono te whakaaetanga.
He aroha pono tēnei, he aroha noa iho rānei?
Nō reira, i mua i tō haehae i ō makawe, i tō pāngia e te kore moe, i tō whakakino rānei i aua whārangi ataahua o tō rātaka, pātai atu ki a koe anō i ētahi pātai māmā e rua. Tuatahi, he aha koe i moe ai i tēnei tangata kua riro nei hei hoa rangatira māu? Tuarua, kei te tino harikoa koe? (Ka waiho e tātou te pātai hohonu mō 'he aha te aroha' ki ngā tohunga whakaaro Kariki).
Nā te whakatau a ō mātua, nā te wehi rānei kei mokemoke koe?
Ahakoa te take, ā tōna wā, ā tōna wā, ka kitea tonutia e te aroha te ara hei whakatata i a kōrua ko tō hoa. Kei a koe te tikanga kia mau tonu taua aroha, kaua rawa e tukua kia haere. Kāore pea kōrua i aroha wawe tetahi ki tetahi, engari he pono kua mahi kōrua ki te whakatutuki i tēnā, āta haere, taahiraa i te taahiraa. I pēhea rā? He aha i mutu ai te aroha tetahi ki tetahi i waenganui?
Mō tētahi atu pātai, he tino pai rawa te āhua o tō whanaungatanga me tō hoa. He tino mārama, he tino ōrite hoki tō kōrua whakaaro. Tata tonu ka taea e kōrua te pānui i ngā whakaaro o tētahi ki tētahi ina tae ki te mahi i tētahi mea. He matua aroha ia; he wahine pono, he whaea pono hoki kōrua. He tauira pai kōrua. Kei a kōrua ngā mea katoa e wātea ana i tētahi tokorua noa, he marena – he moni whiwhi pumau, he whare, he pūkete penapena, he tamariki me te mana pāpori pai. Engari i muri i tētahi rā roa, ina moe koe, ka rongo koe i te koretake o roto i a koe. Ka ohorere koe, ka mōhio koe, kāore koe i te harikoa, ahakoa te nui o te whakapaipai o waho.
Ko ngā whakautu ki ngā pātai e rua, e rua o ngā take maha ka tīmata ai koe ki te whai kare ā-roto mō tētahi atu i a koe e marena ana.
Me aha koe ina aroha koe ki tētahi atu i a koe e marena ana?
Me kimi e koe he ara, whakamuri, whakamua rānei. Kāore e taea e koe te tinihanga tonu i tō hoa , kāore e taea e koe te noho i te ao takirua, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakakahore i te aroha pono ki a koe anō.
1. Whakaarohia ngā hua
Me aro atu koe ki te hinga i te aroha i a koe e marena ana, ā, me pātai atu ki a koe anō i ētahi pātai uaua. He herenga nui te marena. He hononga tēnei o ngā tāngata e rua. I mua i te whakatau i tētahi mea, me whakaaro pea koe ki ōna pānga ki te oranga o te hunga katoa e hono ana ki a koe me tō hoa. Ka tino uaua rawa atu ina tīmata ngā hononga i waenga i te hunga kua marenatia . Ka taea e koe te tino mohio kei te whakaae te tangata e arohaina ana e koe ki te tango i te kawenga mō tōna aroha? He aha ngā pānga o tāu mahi ki te heke mai o āu tamariki?
Mō te marena, ehara i te mea ko te aroha anake te mea nui. Me whakatau hoki koe i ētahi kōwhiringa uaua, ahakoa ka hari koe, kāore rānei.
2. Whakarerea koe
Kāore e taea te whakakore i ō kare ā-roto ina kua whanake haere mō tētahi atu. Kei reira tonu te hiahia ki waho o te mārenatanga, ā, kāore e taea te whakakore. Engari ka taea e koe te muru i a koe anō. Ki te hiahia koe kia angitu tō marena, me whakamutu e koe ō kare ā-roto, murua ō kare ā-roto, ka neke whakamua.
Kia maumahara, he hunga harakore tātou katoa, ā, ka hē tātou katoa.
3. Hangaia he wairua whakawhetai
Kua puta ake rānei i a koe te whakaaro, kaua e titiro ki ngā mea katoa kua ngaro i a koe, engari me mihi ki ngā mea katoa kua riro mai i a koe? Whakamātauria tēnei mahi kotahi, ā, ka kitea koe kei te harikoa ake i roto i tō marena. Kaua e whakaaro ki te tohu paetahi kāore i riro i a koe, engari whakaarohia ngā akoranga whai hua kua riro mai i a koe i te ara. Kaua e whakaaro ki te pō katoa kāore e taea e koe te haere ki te pāti, engari whakaarohia te whānau ataahua kua whakatipuria ngātahitia e kōrua.
4. Ko te aroha he mea hoatu hoki
Ehara i te mea ko te aroha te mea e pā ana ki te whiwhi aroha, ki te arohaina rānei. Ko te aroha pono ko te kimi i te harikoa i roto i te kōrero mutunga kore o te aroha me te tohatoha i te aroha. Kia puta atu i a koe te whakaaro kua whakaritea kētia me meinga koe e tō hoa kia arohaina, kia manaakitia, kia whakautehia hoki, ka kitea e koe te hē o tō whakaaro ki te ariā o te aroha.
Ā, kia tīmata koe ki te hoatu i te aroha nui ki tō hoa marena, ka tīmata hoki koe ki te whiwhi i te aroha anō hoki.
Hei tangata, kāore i a tātou te mana whakahaere i ngā wā katoa mō ō tātou kare ā-roto, me te tangata hoki e arohaina ana e tātou. He mea nui ake te mōhio mēnā kua whiriwhiria e tātou te tangata tika hei aroha mā tātou. Kāore he mea pai e puta mai i te kaha o te whakahau a ō tātou ngākau ki a tātou. Nō reira, ki te aroha koe ki tētahi atu i a koe e marena ana, kia tino mohio ko ia te tangata e hiahiatia ana e koe.
Aroha nui ahau ki taku tāne engari kei te pirangi tonu ahau ki taku hoa mahi
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
