I te ohorere, ka pātai atu tō hoa o mua ki a koe, ā, ka tere tonu te oma o tō hinengaro. Tērā pea ka hoki anō te aroha? Ka hoki mai anō ngā hikoi roa, ngā kōrero roa, me ngā awhi roa? Tērā pea kei te ngaro koe i a rātou? Nō reira ka whakahoki atu koe i te "Kia ora!". Āe, kua ngaro atu rātou mō te wiki. Ka taea e ēnei mea katoa te waiho i a koe kia whakaaro, he aha te tikanga o te werawera me te makariri o tō hoa o mua?
Heoi anō, he mea ngāwari noa iho pērā i te kore whakautu a tō hoa o mua ki ō karere, engari me whakarite kia mātaki ia i ngā kōrero katoa e tukuna ana e koe ki ngā papaaho pāpāho pāpori katoa. E tino whakapono ana mātou ka whakaaro koe "He tino werawera, he makariri hoki taku hoa o mua!"
Ka pā tēnei ki te hunga tino pai o tātou. Ka mau tonu tō tātou aroha ki tō tātou hoa o mua, ā, i ētahi wā ka whakamahia e rātou tēnā. Ka taea te whakarihariha me te whakapōuri. I te mea kei te raru kē koe ki te neke atu, kāore koe e hiahia ki te pokanoa tonu me te ngaro atu i muri mai. Nō reira, me aha koe ina werawera, ina makariri hoki tō hoa o mua?
7 Ngā Take e Werawera ai, e Mātao ai tō Hoa o Mua — Me pēhea te Whakatau i te Reira
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He mahi mana pea, he mahi rānei nā te tangata mō te hiahia noa iho (āe, kei te ao te kino tūturu). Ka waiho koe e te hoa tāne o mua, e te hoa wahine rānei o mua, e noho noa ana i mua i a Netflix e ngana ana ki te kimi i ō whakautu i te raro o taua ipu aihikirīmi.
"He aha te take e werawera ai taku hoa o mua?" Ki te whakatau koe ki te whakautu i tēnei pātai ko koe anake, ka mōhio wawe koe kāore e tika ana te utu mō te kaha e pau ana ki te whakaoti i tēnei mea ngaro. Mā te whanonga werawera o tō hoa o mua e karo ana i a koe ka raru pea koe, ā, kāore e kitea he whakautu tūturu.
Kei te whiwhi tohu rerekē koe mai i tētahi hoa o mua? E mārama ana mātou ki tō āhua me te ao mamae ka pā mai pea ki a koe. Anei te rārangi o ngā take pea me ngā mahi hei mahi māu:
1. Kei te whakahawea rātou ki a koe
I tētahi meneti ko rātou tō hoa pai rawa atu. I tētahi atu meneti ka kite koe i tō hoa wahine/hoa tāne o mua e huna ana i ō karere. Mena kei te whiwhi koe i ngā tohu rerekē mai i tētahi hoa o mua pēnei, tera pea he tohu tērā kei te whakaaro noa rātou ki a koeTērā pea ka mōhio rātou he iti nei tō rātou mana i roto i tēnei āhuatanga, ā, ka whakamahia kinotia e rātou hei pupuri i a koe i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana rātou, ā, ka wareware ki a koe i a rātou e pukumahi ana.
He maha ngā wā ka puta mai tēnei i te mea he nui rawa tō wā e wātea ana ki tō hoa o mua. Kei te wātea koe i a rātou, ā, ka whakaroa koe i ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe kia whakautua/kia tangohia ai te waea. Ka whai hua tēnei i tō hoa o mua, ā, māu anō hoki. Ki te rapu koe i ngā tauira o ngā whanonga wera me ngā whanonga makariri a tō hoa o mua, koinei te wā i whakaritea ai e rātou kia haere tahi me koe, ā, i whakaritea hoki te rā katoa me koe, engari i tū atu koe i te wā tika.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua – me te mea kia noho tonu rātou mō ake tonu atu
Otinga: Whakatakotoria koe ki mua!
Ina kite koe i te tangata e tuku ana i ngā tohu rerekē pēnei, ā, ka tīmata te whakaaro noa ki a koe, me whakatau e koe te mea nui mōu ake i te tuatahi. Me kī atu koe ki a koe anō kāore he pai mōu mā te noho noa ki tā rātou karanga, ā, ka mutu pea ka whara koe. Kāore e ranea te kī atu ki a koe anō, me whakapono koe! Titiro atu i te mata o tō waea. Kaua e whakapau wā ki te whakaaro "kei te pōhēhē taku hoa o mua ki ahau" engari kimihia he oranga tawhiti atu i tō hoa o mua. He pai tonu te whakakore i ngā pāpāho pāpori mōu.
2. Kāore rātou e mōhio kei te wera, kei te makariri hoki rātou
Āe, tera pea kāore tēnei i te pono, engari me whakaaro tonu rātou ki te painga o te ruarua. Mena ko rātou te momo e noho hoa ana, e wātea ana hoki ki te katoa, tērā pea kāore rātou e mōhio. kei te ārahi rātou i a koeKa āhua pōhēhē, ā, ka waiho koe kia pātai "he aha te wera me te makariri o taku hoa o mua?"
Tērā pea ko rātou te momo tangata e ngana ana ki te whakahoahoa ki te tangata, ki te katoa rānei i roto i ō rātou ao, nā te mea e whakahīhī ana rātou ki te noho hei tangata māhorahora. Mena kua mau koe i roto i te pouaka nā te whanonga werawera me te makariri o tō hoa o mua, tērā pea nā te mea kāore ia i te mōhio kei te ārahi ia i a koe.
Kāore pea e tupu, e whakaae ana mātou. Engari tera pea. Ina koa mēnā kāore anō koe kia whakaatu i ō kare ā-roto ki tō hoa o mua. Koinei tonu te mea me mahi ina werawera, ina makariri hoki tō hoa o mua.
Otinga: Kōrero!
Ki te whakaaro koe he āwangawanga, he makariri hoki tō hoa o mua ki a koe, me te kore e mōhio kei te pōhēhē ia i a koe, me kōrero koe ki a ia. Kāore rātou e mōhio ana ki te pōhēhētanga e puta mai ana i a rātou i roto i tō koiora, nō reira ko tāu mahi he kōrero atu ki a rātou. Kia mārama, me kōrero atu ki a rātou he aha te mea e whakararuraru ana i a koe, ā, ka puta he otinga.
3. Kāore tō hoa o mua i te tino mōhio ki ōna kare ā-roto
I a koe e pātai ana ki a koe anō, "Kei te pōhēhē taku hoa o mua i ahau, me aha ahau?", tera pea kei te pōhēhē anō hoki rātou. Tērā pea kei a rātou anō ngā kare ā-roto e mau tonu ana, engari kāore i te tino mōhio. Nō reira, he āhua hoa noa iho rātou i ētahi wā, ā, i ētahi wā, te āhua nei kāore e hiahia ana ki te mahi tahi me koe.
Ehara i te mea he tino whakarihariha tēnei mōu, engari kāore hoki i te pai mō tō hoa o mua. Tērā pea ka hua ake he maha ngā kōrero whakamā i muri i te wehenga. Ki te pōhēhē tō hoa o mua, tera pea ka rite ia ki tētahi tangata tino rerekē i ngā rā rerekē. Nō reira, me aha koe ina pōhēhē tō hoa o mua?
Otinga: Kei te pōhēhē rātou, kei te whakamahia rānei koe?
Ki te mea kei te pōhēhē tō hoa o mua, me tere tonu te kimi mēnā he pōhēhētanga tūturu, kei te whakamahi noa rānei i a koe nā te mea kei te noho tonu koe. Ka taea e koe te kōrero tika ki tō hoa o mua mō tēnei, te tono rānei i tētahi hoa kia kōrero ki a rātou mō tēnei. Mā te ngana ki te kimi mēnā kei te pirangi tō hoa o mua ki a koe ka waiho koe kia rapu i ētahi atu tohu. Ka meinga te wareware i tō hoa o mua uaua rawa atu.
Ki te puta he pōhēhētanga tūturu, tonoa tō hoa o mua kia whakatau, kia wehe rānei i a koe. Ki te whakamahi rātou i a koe, waea atu ki tō tuakana uaua. Māna e mahi te toenga.
4. Kei te pupuri tonu tō hoa o mua i a koe i runga i te matau
Ina pupuri tonu tō hoa wahine o mua, tō hoa tāne o mua rānei i a koe kia kaua e neke atu, kia noho tonu ai koe hei whiringa māu. Tērā pea ka takaro rātou, ka āhua hiahia nui, kātahi ka makariri anō. Kei te pupuri tonu rātou i a koe, me te āhua hiahia nui kia tīmata ai koe ki te moemoeā, engari kāore rawa e tino whakapau kaha ki tetahi mea.
He aha rā te take e pupuri tonu ai koe i a rātou, e pātai ana koe? Āe, e hiahia ana rātou kia noho tahi koe, "mēnā" kei te hiahia rātou ki te mahi i tētahi mea. Ko te pupuri tonu i tētahi i a rātou i te here i ahu mai i te whakaaro he mana nui rawa atu. Ka taea te huri hei wheako kino mō te tangata kua whakarerea, nā te mea ko rātou te kaiwhiwhi o te kirimana, ā, ehara i te mea pai.
Kāore he tangata e pai ana ki te noho hei tārua. Ehara i ngā kaiwhakaari whare tapere, ehara i ngā kaitākaro hākinakina, ā, ehara rawa i ngā hoa aroha. Kei te takaro tō hoa aroha o mua i te atua, kei te whakarite i tētahi tārua mō te kiriata pukuhohe whakaari e pā ana ki tō oranga, mehemea ka pāngia te kaiwhakaari matua e te mate. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te mea whakamutunga hei whakaaroaro māu ko te "he werawera, he makariri taku hoa o mua", ko te mea nui ko te aukati i a rātou ki ngā wāhi katoa, i te wā e taea ai.
Otinga: Te ture kore whakapā
Ki te tino mohio koe kei te aro nui tō hoa o mua ki a koe nā te mea kei te pupuri tonu rātou i a koe i runga i te matau, kotahi anake te mea ka taea e koe, me te mea me mahi e koe — me kawe mai ki te tākaro, te ture kore whakapāKaua e tukua rātou kia whakahau i ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga o tōu ao. Kaua e hoatu te mana ki a rātou hei turaki i a koe, hei hanga ake i a koe, hei wawahi i a koe.
Whakamahia tonutia te ture kore whakapā atu. Ehara i te mea ka ako noa i tō hoa o mua kia kaua e whakararuraru i a koe, engari ka whai hua nui hoki mō tō hauora hinengaro.
5. Ka ngaro i a rātou te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata
He nui ake te tūponotanga ka whakapā atu tētahi hoa tāne o mua ki a koe mō te moe tāne, engari ka taea hoki e tētahi hoa wahine o mua te mahi pera. I muri i ētahi marama o te wehenga, tera pea ka waea atu tētahi tangata haurangi ki a koe i te 2 i te ata.
He mea tino noa tēnei, ā, i ētahi wā ka roa ake i te waea/karere kuputuhi haurangi anake. Tērā pea te āhua nei he manaaki pono, he aroha hoki kei muri i aua karere kuputuhi e tae mai ana ki a koe, ā, e kore mātou e pai ki te whakapuaki atu ki a koe, engari he hiahia noa iho pea.
Te pānui e pā ana: Kei te whai hua te ture kore whakapā i muri i te wehenga?
Otinga: Whakamutu! Whakamutu! Whakamutu!
E mōhio ana koe ki tēnei, engari kei te pānui tonu koe i te otinga me te whakaaro pea ka taea e koe te whai wāhi atu, kotahi noa iho te wā..?
Kāore, aroha mai. Kaua e pena. Ehara i te whakaaro pai. Kāore i te pai te moe tahi me tētahi hoa o mua (ina koa he hoa werawera), kāore tonu, ā, e kore rawa. Ki te pena koe, ka waiho koe me te nui o ngā kare ā-roto taupatupatu ka uaua rawa ki te aro atu. Nō reira, me aha koe i taua wā? Āe, ka tūtaki anō koe ki tō hoa o mua. Kati te mahi kino i tēnei huringa kino, kaua e pena!
Tangohia tētahi whārangi mai i te pukapuka a Ted Mosby ka kōrero ki a koe anō i ngā kōrero a tōna māmā ki a ia: kāore he mea pai e puta i muri i te 2 i te ata. Nō reira, i te wā e whai ake nei ka whiwhi koe i tētahi kupu "WYD?" pōrearea mai i tō hoa tāne o mua i te pō, karohia taua hoa tāne o mua werawera, makariri hoki. He pō mātakitaki noa i ngā kiriata. Pehea ahau i tae atu ai ki to whaea ka pai ake mōu i tētahi rā, i tētahi rā.
6. Kei te hiahia tō hoa o mua ki te noho hei hoa mōu
He tino ngāwari te hē o te whakaaro ki te whakahoahoa, arā, ko te aroha pono. Ka waea atu ngā hoa tetahi ki tetahi, ka manaaki tetahi ki tetahi, ka whakarite kei te pai rātou, ā, ka tiaki tetahi i tetahi. Āe, pērā anō hoki te hunga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.
I muri i te wehenga, tera pea kei te aro tonu tō hoa o mua ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana kia noho hoa tonu rāua. Ahakoa ka pahemo te aroha, tera pea kei te hiahia tonu rāua ki te mea pai mōu. Ko te tangata e tuku tohu ana i te kino, tera pea kei te hē tō whakaaro ki te hoa hei aroha.
Otinga: Whakatauhia ō whakaaro, ā, tirohia te pono o te mea kei roto i a rātou
He tino onge te noho tahi o ngā hoa o mua e rua hei hoa. Me mātua wehe atu i te hoa rangatira, me ngā tāngata pakeke e rua, kia taea ai te whakatū i tētahi whanaungatanga me te kore whakama i muri i te wehenga.
Mena ka whakaaro koe i to Kei te ngana te hoa o mua ki te noho hei hoa mōu, me pātai koe ki a koe anō mēnā ka taea e koe te noho hoa ki a rātou me te kore e tukua ngā kare ā-roto kia araia, kia whakamā rānei. Ko te whakautu ki tēnā pātai mō te nuinga o te tangata he 'Kāo' uaua. Ina mōhio koe ki tēnā, me mātao koe, me tirotiro hoki i te pono o tō hoa o mua.
7. Tērā pea kei roto tō hoa o mua i tētahi hononga hou
Whitikihia ō whitiki, ka mamae tēnei. Mena he tangata werawera, he tangata makariri tō hoa o mua, tera pea nā te mea kua noho kē rāua i roto i tētahi hononga hou, ā, ko te āhua o taua hononga te mea e whakahaere ana i tā rāua kōrero ki a koe. Ina pai te haere o tā rāua hononga, te āhua nei kāore koe i te noho mō rāua. Mena ka puta he arai i te ara, ko koe te nama 1 i runga i te waea tere.
Ka tino mamae ngā tohu rerekē mai i te hoa o mua i tēnei horopaki. Ina koa ka mōhio koe kei roto rātou i tētahi atu hononga, ā, kei te ngana tonu rātou ki te ārahi i a koe i ngā wā e hiahia ana rātou. Me te mea nei kei te hei tautoko i a koe mahere.
Otinga: Arotahi ki a koe anō, kia mau tonu te tawhiti
Mena kei te tukuna e te tangata whakararuraru he tohu rerekē ahakoa kei roto rāua i tētahi hononga hou, tera pea kei te whakaaro rātou kei a rātou te mana whakahaere ki a koe. Me wehe atu koe i ā rātou mahi tamariki (ka mahi whakamiharo te pātene aukati māu, e oati ana mātou) ka tīmata ki te mahi i a koe anō.
He mea noa te pōuri ina kite koe kua uru tō hoa o mua ki tētahi hononga hou. Rapua he āwhina mai i ō hoa, i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei, kia mārama ai koe me pēhea te neke atu. Ko te mea nui kia maumahara, kaua e tukua tō hoa o mua kia whai mana ki runga i a koe.
Te pānui e pā ana: 18 Ngā Tohu Tūturu Ka Hoki Mai Tō Hoa o Mua
Hei whakamutunga, ka waiho atu māu te mea pai rawa atu hei mahi ina werawera, makariri hoki tō hoa o mua: te kōrero. Mena kei te werawera, makariri hoki tō hoa o mua ki a koe, ko te huarahi māmā ki te whakatau ko te kōrero. Kōrero ki tō hoa o mua mō te mea e whakararuraru ana i a koe. He aha koe i whakaaro ai kei te ārahi rātou i a koe, ka pātai atu ki a rātou he aha rātou i pērā ai. Mā te kōrero, ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i tāu mahi e whai ake nei, ahakoa he aukati i tō hoa o mua. Kaua e tukua tō hoa o mua kia whai mana ki a koe, engari whakaaturia ki a rātou ko wai te rangatira.
15 Ngā Huarahi Mātanga hei Whakakahore i tētahi Hoa o Mua e Hiahia Ana kia Noho Hoa
Me pēhea te tere o te wikitoria i te wehenga? – 8 Ngā Tohutohu hei hoki wawe mai
Āhea ngā tāne ka tīmata te ngaro i a koe i muri i te wehenga?
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
