He Tangata Kotahi Raupapa Koe? He aha tōna Tikanga, ngā Tohu, me ngā Āhuatanga

Porohia te aroha

Mena kei te pekepeke koe i tētahi hononga nui ki tētahi atu, tera pea he tangata kotahi te hoa o te hunga e arohaina ana e te hunga kotahi! He mea noa ki te hunga e arohaina ana e te hunga kotahi te hoa, kāore rātou e pai ki te noho mokemoke, me te mea he pai ake te noho tahi me te hunga e arohaina ana e rātou, kaua ki te noho takakau noa iho. He hoa tā tātou katoa (he hoa rānei) ahakoa pēhea, kei roto tonu i tētahi hononga aroha me te ngākau nui.

I kitea i roto i tētahi rangahau ahakoa he paerewa pai ngā marena takitahi mō te wā roa, kei te haere tonu ngā whanaungatanga pumau (ehara i te mea ko te marena anake) ki te noho hei tikanga noa. Nā te marena takitahi kua nui haere te hekenga o ngā marena.

Hei mārama ake mō te moe tāne me te wahine kotahi me ōna āhuatanga uaua, i kōrero mātou ki te Kaimātai Hinengaro a Nandita Rambhia , he tohunga ki te CBT, REBT, me te tohutohu mō ngā tokorua. I kōrero mātou mō ngā tohu rerekē hei tautuhi i te tangata moe tāne me te wahine kotahi, me te āhua o ō rāua whanaungatanga.

He aha te Monogamy?

Ripanga o Ihirangi

Ko te marena kotahi he momo whanaungatanga e noho tahi ana te tangata me te hoa kotahi i te wā kotahi, ki te whakatauritea ki te kore marena kotahi, arā, ko te piripono ki te tini o ngā tāngata i te wā kotahi. I roto i te whanaungatanga kotahi, ka whakaae ngā hoa kia kaua e whakaipoipo i tētahi atu, i runga i te aroha, i te moepuku rānei, mō te roanga o te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa he mea noa te marena kotahi , kei te tino rerekē ō tātou oranga.

Ko wai te Monogamist Raupapa?

Ā, he aha te tikanga o te moe tāne kotahi? Ko te moe tāne kotahi tonu, e kiia ana hoki, e whai ana i ngā momo moe tāne kotahi tuku iho. E whai ana ēnei tāngata i tētahi hononga takitahi, motuhake, pumau ki tā rātou hoa. Ko te hinengaro moe tāne kotahi e pā ana ki ngā whakaaro e pā ana ki te aroha, arā, ko tō hoa wairua kotahi anake e tiaki ana i ō hiahia katoa.

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He maha ngā take e kiia ai te tangata he tangata kotahi te hononga. Tērā pea kei te pekepeke haere rātou i tētahi hononga ki tētahi atu hononga, kāore rānei i te whai wāhi ki te mahi tūturu o te whakatūturu i tētahi hononga. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu e whai ake nei he tohu ārai anō hoki mō te hunga kotahi te hononga, kaua e warewaretia.

haki whero monogamist raupapa — Kei te pōhēhē koe mō tō hoa hou?

Ngā Tohu He Monogamist Raupapa Koe

Kei te whakaaro koe mēnā he tangata moe tāne tō hoa, he tangata moe tāne rānei koe, kāore rānei? Kua roa tātou katoa e noho ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ā, kāore tātou e noho takakau. Ka uaua pea ngā whanaungatanga , engari kia pēhea te roa o te wā e hiahiatia ana hei whakaroa i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kia pēhea te tere o te peke atu ki tētahi atu whanaungatanga, kia whai wāhi ai tātou ki te moe tāne, ki te mahi tahi?

Waihoki, he maha ngā wā, ka tere rawa tā tātou uru atu ki tētahi hononga aroha, kāore anō kia nui te mōhio mō ō tātou hoa. Ā muri ake nei, ka pouri tātou mō te tere rawa o te uru atu, nā te mea ka kino te whanaungatanga. Hei ārai i tēnā, me rapu tātou i ngā tohu o tētahi tangata e moe tahi ana i te kotahitanga.

Mātakihia tā mātou tohunga rongonui a Ridhi Golechha e kōrero ana mō ngā rerekētanga nui i waenga i ngā whanaungatanga hauora me ngā whanaungatanga hauora kore, kia ako ai koe mō ngā āhuatanga rerekē o ngā whanaungatanga.

1. Ka peke koe i tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu

Kāore rawa e taea e koe te noho takakau mō te wā roa. Ka noho tonu koe i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ā, i ētahi wā kua hipa kē te rā paunga. Ki te kore, ka kitea e koe he hoa hou, ā, ka haere tonu te huringa. Mai i te kotahi ki te maha o ngā whanaungatanga, kāore he wāhi, he wā rānei e waiho ana hei noho takakau i waenganui. He pono, ehara te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga i te rongoā mō ō āwangawanga katoa o te ao.

2. Kāore koe e pai ki te wā whakaipoipo

He mahi nui te whakaipoipo tuimotu, te whakaipoipo ipurangi rānei, ina koa he maha ngā tāngata e uru ana. Ka ngoikore koe, ā, ka rapu i te tangata tuatahi i meinga koe kia rongo i tētahi mea ahakoa kāore koe i te tino mōhio ki a ia. He mea e pai ana koe ki te uru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga me te tīmata i te wā marena hou.

3. Ka poto tonu te wā takitahi

Kāore e taea e koe te maumahara ki te wā whakamutunga i noho takakau ai koe. Ka whakamātauria koe e ngā pae dating. Ina tirohia tō hītori aroha, he raupapa hononga, e waiho ana he wāhi hei pārekareka ki tō noho takakau. Ka mutu, ka whakakino koe i ō hononga.

Ka pōhēhē koe i te kore e tutuki, i te kore hoki o te ngākau ina kore koe e noho tahi me tetahi. Ko te nuinga o te wā e noho takakau ana koe he mea hanga ki te tūtaki ki ngā hoa pea me te whakamahere i tētahi whanaungatanga, kaua ki te kimi i te rangimārie i roto i te noho ko koe anake.

4. Ehara i te mea māu te noho mokemoke

Ahakoa te nuinga o te wā, kāore koe e pai ki te noho mokemoke. He mea hoha pea, he mea whakamā, he mea mokemoke, he mea whakamataku rānei. Engari he mea nui te noho mokemoke o te wheako tangata. Ahakoa he hoa pai tāu, e kore rawa e taea e te tokorua te whai i te taumata māramatanga me te piripono pumau. He mea nui kia houhia te rongo ki a koe anō, kia pai ai te noho tahi me koe i te tuatahi.

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5. He nui ō whakaaro e ahu mai ana i te aroha me te whakawhanaungatanga

He tangata aroha tō ngākau, ā, he nui ngā tohu me ngā wawata aroha e pā ana ki tō whanaungatanga. He pai ki a koe ngā kōrero iti katoa, ngā rā aroha, me ngā ua o te aroha, engari ina puta te mooni o te whanaungatanga (pērā i ngā mea katoa), he wero nui ki a koe te mahi me te whakarerekē i a koe anō me tō tirohanga. He pai ake ki a koe te noho i roto i tō ao pakiwaitara e noho tonu ana ngā mea.

6. He take kei mua i te aroaro

He nui te mahi i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, inā koa mēnā kei te tino hiahia kōrua ki te noho tahi mō tō kōrua heke mai. Ki te mau tonu kōrua i roto i ngā huringa o te tomo me te wehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga, he tohu tēnei mō tētahi raruraru nui ake.

Tērā pea kei te uru atu koe ki ngā whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki-tahi, e tumanako ana koe kia whakatutukihia e tō hoa ō hiahia kare ā-roto katoa. Tērā pea he raruraru whakarērea koe, he iti rānei tō whakaaro ki a koe anō me tō uara. Kāore he mea miharo ka riro mai i a koe tō uara katoa mai i tētahi whanaungatanga. He rite te whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki-tahi ki tētahi mahi wā-katoa.

Te Kotahitanga Raupapa me te Teití

Mā te moe tāne me te wahine ka noho hei tauira o ngā whanaungatanga poto, engari he pumau, ā, kāore e ahu whakamua. He mea nui kia mōhio ki ngā tohu ārai mō te moe tāne me te wahine i mua i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu. I ētahi wā, ka whiriwhiria e tātou ngā tāngata hē, nā te mea ka meinga tātou e rātou kia whai whakaaro.

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Kua kōrero whānuitia tā mātou mō te tikanga o te moe tahi raupapa, me ako atu tātou mō te moe tahi raupapa me te whakatau i te wā mai i ngā tirohanga a tō mātou tohunga, a Nandita Rambhia :

Me pēhea te mōhio kei te whakaipoipo rātou i tētahi tangata kotahi te wahine raupapa?

Nandita: He tino maeneene te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga. I tēnei wā, he nui te aro o te tangata e aroha ana ki te wahine kotahi. Engari i te wā roa, ka hoha te whakaipoipo i te wahine kotahi nā te mea he nui rawa te whakawhirinaki ki a ia, ā, he nui te wā e hiahiatia ana. Ka hoha te tinana, te hinengaro, me te hinengaro o te hoa. Ka taea e te aroha nui te whakararuraru.

Tērā pea ka whakaaro rātou kāore he wā whaiaro mō rātou anō, ā, kāore e taea e rātou te mahi takitahi pērā i mua. Ko te hunga e moe tahi ana i te moe tahi, e hiahia tonu ana rātou kia noho tahi me tō rātou hoa.

He aha tāu e taea te kōrero mai ki a mātou mō ngā tāngata whakapehapeha e hiahia ana ki te moe tahi me te tangata kotahi?

Nandita: I te nuinga o te wā, ko te hunga whai tohu o te narcissism, te BPD rānei (Borderline Personality Disorder) ka tipu hei hunga whai takitahi raupapa. E hiahia ana rātou ki te aro katoa i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, e whakawhirinaki ana ki tā rātou hoa rangatira hei whakatutuki i ā rātou hiahia katoa.

Mō te tangata whakahihi, he tangata whakaaro nui ki te moe tahi, tera pea kei roto i tētahi hononga tēnei momo tangata whakahihi engari kāore i te tino hiahia ki te mahi i tētahi o ngā mahi o tētahi hononga – te ako mō tōna hoa rangatira, mō ōna kōrero, me te aro ki ōna whāinga me ōna uara. Engari, ko te whanaungatanga he whakatutuki i ōna ake hiahia me ōna whakaritenga.

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Tohutohu Matua

Ko te marena takitahi raupapa he mahi e uru ana ki ngā whanaungatanga poto, pumau mō te wā roa, me te iti rawa o te wā takitahi.
Ko ngā tohu o te moe tāne me te wahine kotahi ko te tere o te neke mai i tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu, te kore e noho mokemoke, te kore e pai ki te kēmu whakaipoipo pērā i tō pai ki te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me te kore e hiahia ki te whakapai ake i te whanaungatanga, ki te mōhio rānei ki tō hoa rangatira.
Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa rangatira kotahi. Ka tino hoha te whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore te hoa rangatira kotahi e hiahia ki te mahi i te mahi tūturu o te poipoi i tētahi hononga engari e whakawhirinaki ana ki tā rātou hoa kia tutuki ai ā rātou tumanakohanga katoa, ā, he nui te pānga ki te hoa rangatira.

Ahakoa kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tangata e aroha ana ki te moe tāne, ki tētahi rānei, kāore he he o te tono āwhina. Mā ngā rauemi tika ka pai ake ai ō tātou oranga. Whatiia te huringa o te tukino i a koe anō.

FAQs

1. He mea kino te noho hei monogamist raupapa?

Ehara i te mea kino te noho hei tangata kotahi te hoa. He pono rātou ki ō rātou hoa. Engari ko tā rātou e hiahia ana ko te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e roa ka noho takakau rātou. Tērā pea ka raru rātou i ngā uauatanga kare ā-roto, te kore whakaaro ki a rātou anō, me te kore whanaketanga o te tuakiri. Tērā pea he tino whakawhirinaki kare ā-roto ki tō rātou hoa.

2. Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tangata e hiahia ana ki te moe tahi me te tangata kotahi?

I te tīmatanga, he uaua ki te kimi i te tangata nā te mea e aro katoa ana tōna aro ki a koe. Anei ētahi o ngā tohu: kāore te tangata e aro nui ana ki a koe, ki ō hiahia rānei, engari e hiahia ana ia kia noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
He nui rawa tō rātou whakawhirinaki ki a koe, ā, he nui te whakawhirinaki ki te taha wairua. Tērā pea kāore rātou e uru ki tētahi marena, engari ko tā rātou e hiahia ana ko te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Mēnā ka pakaru te whanaungatanga, ka ngāwari noa iho tā rātou peke atu ki tētahi atu. Ko te kimi i te hītori whakaipoipo o tō hoa te mea nui hei whakatutuki i ō rātou āhuatanga.

3. He aha ētahi tauira o te moe tāne kotahi raupapa?

I te haere tonu o te whanaungatanga, ka mōhio koe ā tōna wā ka whai wāhi pea te moe tāne me te wahine. Hei tauira, i roto i tētahi huringa o ngā whanaungatanga poto, pumau i mua, ka nui rawa te whakawhirinaki o te tangata moe tāne ki tana hoa, ā, kāore e pai ki te mahi i ngā mahi hei whakatipu i te whanaungatanga. E tumanako ana rātou ki te aro me te arotahi katoa o tana hoa, engari kāore e mahi i te mea kotahi mō rātou.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.