Hei whakakoi i ngā ahiahi i muri i tētahi rā mahi hoha, hei whakamahere rānei i tētahi mea whakamere hei mahi i ngā hararei, he mea pai te whakarite i tētahi rā takirua. He rite tonu te rā takirua ki tētahi rā noa engari he rua te ngahau me te rua te tangata e whiwhi ana.
He mea ātaahua te noho tahi me tō hoa i ia pō tuarua, engari ka tere tonu te noho hei mahi hoha. Hei whakapai ake i te whanaungatanga, hei whakauru hoki i ētahi momo rerekētanga ki roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga, he huarahi tino ngahau te whakaipoipo takirua.
E mōhio ana koe he tino whakamā te wā tuatahi, inā koa mēnā kei te tūtaki koe ki tētahi mai i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo ipurangi? Anei tētahi whakaaro! Me pēhea mēnā ka whakamahere koe i tētahi wā takirua me tētahi atu tokorua pai mai i tō porowhita pāpori? Ka whakaitihia te pēhanga i a koe ki te whakahaere i tētahi kōrero whakahihiri puta noa i te pō, ko koe anake hoki.
"Nā te whakatā takirua i tino huri tōku ao," te kī a Jennifer Brown, he kaitohutohu whenua, kei California. "He hoa kura ngā tāne i te kāreti, ā, i tono mai rātou i ahau me taku hoa pai ki te whakatā takirua. Kātahi ka moe māua i muri i ētahi tau, ka moe māua ki ngā tāne kotahi. I haere tonu tā māua pakiwaitara whakatā takirua, ā, 25 tau ki muri, i te pakeketanga o ā māua tamariki, ā, kei te pukumahi māua ki te kāinga me ngā mahi, ka whai wā tonu māua mō ā māua whakatā takirua. He mea tēnei e tino tumanakohia ana e au," tāna tāpiri.
Āe, kāore ianei tēnā e whakaoho ake i tō hiahia ki te mōhio? Mena kei te pirangi koe ki te haere tahi me tētahi hoa engari kāore anō kia tino maia, kei a mātou he putea kī tonu i ngā mōhiohio hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatinana i te mahere katoa me te angitu.
He aha te rā takirua?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Tuatahi, me whakamārama tātou he aha te tikanga o te whakaipoipo takirua i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te whakaipoipo takirua he wā e haere tahi ana ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakaipoipo me te hiahia noa ki te ngahau. He pai ngā whanaungatanga whakaipoipo takirua nā te mea he hoa noa iho kei waenganui i te tokorua, ā, kāore tetahi e patu i tetahi atu tangata i roto i te tokorua e haere tahi ana.
He aha te hiranga o te whakatā takirua? Mā tēnei ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e rua te ngahau tahi i te wharekai, i te whare pikitia, i te haerenga i te mutunga wiki, i te kāinga rānei me te inu me te tākaro papa. Koia tētahi o ngā ture matua mō te whakatā takirua ko te whakaiti i te PDA, ā, kaua e kōrero whakakatakata i roto i te tokorua, nā te mea ka kore e manakohia ō rātou hoa.
Kaua rawa e haere ki tētahi rā takirua me te whakaaro ki te moe tahi. Koinei te mea tino whakarihariha rawa atu. Ka puta ngā rā takirua i waenganui i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kotahi te hoa, ā, kāore he take mō tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera. I roto i tētahi o ā rātou tuhinga, ka kōrero a Science Daily mō ngā painga o te rā takirua, tae atu ki te whakaoho anō i te ngākau nui me te mura o te ahi i roto i tō ake whanaungatanga.
I a koe e tono ana ki tētahi tokorua mō tētahi rā takirua, ka whai wāhi koe ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rite tonu, me te matapaki i ngā take whaiaro e kore e taea e koe te mahi tahi me ō hoa takakau. Ā, hei whakamutunga, me pēhea te whakatā takirua? Me matapakihia tēnei e tātou.
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Ko te rā takirua he wā e whakamahere ana koe i tētahi haerenga me tētahi atu tokorua. He tokorua kua mōhiotia e koe mai i te kāreti, he tangata kua tūtaki noa koe i tētahi hui, he tokorua rānei kua tūtohutia mai i tō porowhita hoa. He āwhina te rā takirua nā te mea ka tāpirihia he paparanga hou o te harikoa ki tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
I a koe e noho takitahi ana, ka whakakitea e tō hoa tētahi taha o rātou ki a koe, he taha e mōhio ana koe. Heoi, nā te nui haere o ngā tāngata kei roto i te ranunga me te rerekētanga o te horopaki, tera pea ka puta mai ētahi atu āhuatanga o tōna tuakiri. Kia angitu ai tētahi rā takirua, inā koa he tauhou koe, anei tētahi aratohu mō te hunga tīmata ki te rā takirua:
1. He whakaaro pai te whakaipoipo takirua?
Me aro atu ki tēnei āwangawanga matua i te tīmatanga tonu. He mea nui kia arohia mēnā he mea tēnei e wātea ana ki tō hoa, e hiahia ana rānei ki te mahi. Kāore te katoa e pai, e whakamarie rānei i te noho tahi me tētahi atu tokorua. He mea ngahau anake mēnā he mea whakamarie mō te katoa. Kaua te whakaipoipo takirua e waiho hei take tautohetohe mō te whanaungatanga.
Ā, ki te pai ki tō hoa, me haere noa iho, me mahi rānei i ia toru marama? Me kōrero ēnei mea ki tō hoa kia whai hua ai ā kōrua rā whakaipoipo, kaua e waiho hei mea whakararuraru. Whakatikatikahia ō pātai me ō ruarua i mua i te whakauru i tētahi atu tokorua ki te pikitia.
2. Te whiriwhiri i te tokorua tika
He mahi uaua pea tēnei, engari me tumanako anō hoki koe ki tēnei. Me tātari e koe tō rārangi hoa me ō hoa mohio kia whiriwhiria ai he tokorua e hiahia ana koe ki te noho tahi. Kāore e hiahiatia he tangata tino tata, he tangata tino tawhiti rānei. Heoi anō, me whai pūngao motuhake.
Ko te mea nui ko te tangata e pai ai kōrua te noho tahi hei hoa. Hei tāpiri, me noho hei tangata e rite ana te āhua o tō hoa. Kaua e pai te noho tahi me te hoa tāne, ā, ka kite i tō hoa wahine e hē ana te haere tahi me tana hoa.
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3. Te whakamahere i te mahi me te āta whakaaro
Me whakaaroaro nui mō tēnei taahiraa. Ehara i te mea he mea nui anake te whiriwhiri i tētahi mahi hei whakawhanaungatanga mā kōrua ko tō hoa, engari he mea anō hoki e tino hiahia ana tō hoa ki te mahi. He tikanga pai tēnei mō te whakaipoipo . Hei tauira, he pai ki a koe te tākaro paintball, ā, he mahi rōpū tino pai.
Heoi anō, he mea nui kia ine i te momo tokorua e haere tahi ana kōrua. Mena he pai ki a rātou te kai tina noho tahi, te matakitaki kiriata rānei i roto i te whare, ehara i te mea pai te pāngia e ngā peita i te pō katoa. Nō reira, he mea tēnei me whakamahere e koe i roto i ō kōrero ki a rātou. Pātai atu ki ngā pātai nui mō te rā takirua, kaua hoki e whakarerekē i te whakaaro ki tētahi mea e whakaaro ana rātou he mea whakarihariha.
I konei, ka tūtohu mātou kia iti rawa te inu waipiro mō te pō. Kāore he tauira kino mō te whakatā takirua i te ruaki noa i te tangata kotahi. He kino rawa atu rānei, ko tētahi momo whanonga kino ka whakama koe, ka pouri hoki i te ata e whai ake nei.
4. Te whiriwhiri i te wāhi tino tika
Ahakoa he aha te mahi kua whiriwhiria e koe, he mea nui kia whiriwhiria he wāhi pai mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e rua. Kāore koe e hiahia kia taraiwa mai tō hoa tāne i te 25 maero i waho o te tāone nā te mea kāore koe e makona ki te wharekai sushi hou i te tiriti matua. Kāore rātou e mutu te tautohetohe mō taua mea.
Ina haere koe ki tētahi hui whakatā takirua, kaua e whakahihi ki te tokorua kē, engari whiriwhiria he wharekai papai, he wharekai whakahirahira, kāore tetahi o kōrua e pai ki te kai. He pai ake te tina i te kāinga mō tēnā. He tino taunaki kia mārama te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i waenganui i ngā tokorua. Kia mōhio ki te tawhiti o te haere ki te kāinga me te tawhiti pea o te wāhi mō kōrua. He pai te wāhi tūtaki i waenganui, ki te kore e noho tahi ki te kāinga.
5. Whakatūpatohia ngā kaipakapaka hukapapa
Ki te mea kei te haere kōrua ki tētahi hui whakatā me tētahi tokorua kāore kōrua i te tino mōhio ki a rāua, me whakapau kaha kōrua ko tō hoa ki te mōhio ki a rāua. Kia maumahara ahakoa kei a koe tō hoa, me pai te taunekeneke ki ētahi atu i te tēpu.
Ko ētahi o ngā pātai rongonui hei pātai atu ki tētahi tokorua, ko te āhua o tā rāua tūtakitanga, ō rāua hītori, ā rāua mahi, me ērā atu mea. Pēnei, i tētahi wā, ka pau āu pātai hei pātai i tētahi rā takirua, mā te tākaro i tētahi pātaitai 'ko wai e mōhio pai ake ana ki tā rāua hoa' ka taea te whakaoho anō i te wairua. Ka whānui ake ngā kōwhiringa i tētahi rā kāinga. Kawea mai tāu kēmu papa tino pai ka uru atu ki tētahi whakataetae hoa mō ngā tokorua. Mēnā kāore he mea, he whakamātautau waina tonu hei tīmata i tētahi kōrero whakahihiri.
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6. Kaua e whakapehapeha i te wā e whakaipoipo ana
Ko tētahi o ngā hapa nui o te whakaipoipo takirua ko te whakamanamana i mua i te tokorua. "E hine, whakaaturia mai ki ēnei tāne ngā whakaahua o tā māua haerenga ki Hawai'i!" Ki te nui rawa te mahi, ka puta te āhua kei te whakapehapeha koe. Ko te mea kino rawa atu, ko te ngana kia noho ko koe te tāne matua o te rōpū.
He mea pai te whakapuaki i ngā kōrero iti, engari me arotake anō hoki mēnā kei te hiahia te tokorua ki ō kōrero pakiwaitara. He pai ngā kōrero pakiwaitara hei hanga kōrero, engari kia tūpato ki te āhua o te kōrero ki te tokorua. Kaua rāua e whakaaro he whakataetae, he tautohetohe rānei tēnei.
7. Kaua e moe roa i te wā e moe tahi ana koe
He tino ātaahua, he pai hoki te kihi i te rae me te mirimiri i te ringa i reira mō te rā whakatā takirua. Engari ki te nui rawa atu tēnā, kua taka koe ki tētahi ara pahekeheke. Kāore koe e hiahia kia noho māharahara te tokorua i te wā e moe tahi ana koe. He mea ngahau te whakatā takirua, ehara i te whakaaturanga o tō aroha. Kia noho ko koe anake, kaua e whakaiti i tēnā. Heoi anō, kia māmā noa iho, kaua e noho motuhake, ā, kia kaha ake te whai wāhi atu ki te toenga o te porowhita.
8. He pai ake te noho ki te taha, ki te ritenga atu rānei o tō hoa?
He pātai tika tēnei kia pai ai te noho tahi a te katoa. I tētahi tina, i tētahi hui rānei, ka tukua e au te āhuatanga kia ārahi, kia whakatau ai me pēhea taku whakanoho i ahau. Ko te nuinga o te tangata ka noho tahi me ā rātou hoa ina whakaipoipo tahi rātou, inā koa mēnā ko te tokorua tēnei e tūtaki tuatahi ana rātou.
Kaua e manukanuka. Me mahi noa i te mea e pai ana ki a koe i taua wā. Ka taea e koe te kata me te pātai mārire ki te tokorua kē atu he aha tā rātou e pai ai. Kāore he aha.
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9. Ko wai ka utu i te rā takirua?
Tahaetia te pire mēnā koinā tō hiahia tūturu, engari kaua rawa e whawhai nui. Kāore he tangata e pai ki te kōrero whakamuri me te whakahoki mai o te whakaari "Tukua ahau e utu te pire". Ki taku whakaaro, ko te wehewehe i te pire i te wā e rua ngā hoa aroha ana tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino nui mō te rā tuatahi.
Kei te whanaungatanga pumau anō hoki tēnei ki te tokorua. Mēnā kua karangahia koe e rāua, me tuku tonu e koe te utu mō te iti rawa o tō kōrua hea me tō hoa. Mēnā kua karangahia rāua e koe, ā, kei te ngākau atawhai koe, me haere tonu mēnā e hiahia ana koe (ahakoa kāore koe e MEA kia pērā).
10. Kia mōhio ki ngā mea e hiahia ana tō hoa ki te kōrero
Ina whakarite koe kia pai te wā mō te katoa, kia kaua e waiho tō hoa rangatira ki waho o te whārite. Kia maumahara ko te kaupapa nui tēnei ko te whai wā pai, ā, ki te kore tēnā e tupu, me mārama koe ki ngā āhuatanga e hē ana.
Ko tētahi o ngā mea nui rawa atu e tika ana kia mahia i roto i te whakaipoipo takirua ko te nui rawa o te inu. Kia tūpato ki te nui o te tī e ringihia ana e tō hoa mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Hei kōrerorero noa iho, kaua e kōrero whakamā, kaua hoki e kōrero motuhake e kore ai tō hoa e pai ki te kōrero.
11. Whakaritea ō rātou hiahia ki te whakatau i te kāinga
Ina manaaki koe, ko koe te kāpene kaha o te kaipuke rā takirua. Ko te whakarite i te rā kei runga i ō pakihiwi, ā, me tino tohunga koe ki tēnā. Ki te kore e pai te whakarite, ka ngāwari te ahiahi ki te mea he rā hoha koe.
He huarahi pai te haereere whare, inā koa kei te noho tahi kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira. Whakamātauria ngā kēmu papa tino pai, kia mōhio ki ngā kai a te katoa, ā, ko te mea nui, kia mōhio kei a koe te kai moe e pai ana ki a rātou katoa. Me mahi noa i ngā mahi a ngā kaihautū pai katoa, ā, whakaarohia ētahi whakaaro mō te rā.
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12. Kia kōrero noa engari kaua e pokanoa
Kaua e rite ki te tangata e whiwhi ana i tētahi rārangi roa o ngā pātai hei pātai māu i tētahi rā takirua i runga ipurangi. Ahakoa he pai ki te rapu whakaaro me te pupuri i ētahi pātai ki roto i tō hinengaro, kaua e meinga kia rite ki te mea kua maumahara koe ki tētahi tuhinga katoa. Ko te mea pai ake ko te mea ohorere. Ina mōhio koe ki tētahi atu tokorua i tētahi rā takirua, me āhua noa, me ngāwari hoki ngā pātai hei pātai atu ki tētahi tokorua.
Ā, kaua e maha rawa ngā pātai whai muri. Mō ngā oranga aroha, he pai ake te tuku i te tangata kia tuwhera ō rātou whakaaro, kaua e pātai nui ki a rātou anō. Mena he tikanga moe whakamere tā te tokorua, he kaupapa harikoa rānei, me mihi noa ki a rātou, kaua e tātari i ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō rāua whanaungatanga. Ehara koe i te kaiwhakaora hinengaro mā rātou, engari kei te haere noa koe i tētahi wā hoa.
13. Kia tuwhera ki te whakamātau i ngā mea hou i tētahi rā takirua
Kia aroha ki te Atua, kaua e waiho hei taonga whakararuraru. Koinei tētahi o ngā "kaua e mahia" nui rawa atu i roto i ngā mea me mahi, me ngā mea kāore e tika ana i te wā e haere tahi ana koe i waho. Kāore he tangata e pai ki te kī atu koe, "E kino ana ahau ki te tākaro tēnehi" me "He kaha rawa te rā i tēnei rā". Ina ngana ana te katoa ki te whai wā pai, me whai i te ia o te wā, kaua e huri hei wheako whakaipoipo kino.
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te peke atu i tō rohe whakamarie, engari kaua e whakaiti i te katoa. Ko te kaupapa matua o te rā takirua he tūhura i ngā mea hou. Nō reira, me aro atu koe ki ngā mea e kīia mai ana e te tokorua kē.
14. Kia iti rawa te whakaipoipo-whakawhiti
He mea ngahau te takaro ki te hoa kē, ina kua whakatūria he whanaungatanga pai ki a rāua. Heoi anō, he kēmu ngākau tonu te whakaipoipo takirua me te kēmu whakahoahoa. Ko tētahi o ngā mea nui o te aratohu tīmatanga ki te whakaipoipo takirua ko te whakatakoto i tētahi rohe hauora me te tokorua kē, ā-tinana, ā-waha hoki.
Ka hoha pea te tangata ki te mātakitaki i tā rātou hoa e takaro ana ki ētahi atu. Ina uru atu koe ki tētahi wā takirua, kei te ngana koe ki te whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga. Kaua e karanga i tētahi atu raruraru mā te whakamahi i tētahi tohu koretake. Kōrerohia ō taunekeneke kia tika, kaua rawa e kī he mea tino moepuku. Kaua e whakararuraru i tētahi tangata, ahakoa te harakore o tō whakaaro.
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15. Kia pēhea te tere o te whakaipoipo anō?
Ina kua whai wā whakamiharo koe me tētahi atu tokorua, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te mahi anō. Whakaaturia tō harikoa me tō tumanako ki tēnā, engari kaua e tohe kia pērā i te tamaiti harikoa. Tukua te tokorua kē kia ārahi, ā, me tuku pea mā rāua e whakamahere te haerenga e whai ake nei. Koinei tētahi o ngā ture o te whakaipoipo.
Ko te wā e tika ana kia mahi anō, kei a koe me ō hoa mahi te kawenga. Kaua e kī, "E hoa, me whakamātau anō tāua i tēnei i te wiki e tū mai nei!", engari me kī, "He tino pai te wā i tae mai ai mātou i tēnei rā, ka hiahia mātou ki te kite anō i a koe i ngā wā katoa e wātea ana koe." He kaha te whakaaro tuatahi, ā, he ngāwari te whakaaro tuarua.
Nā, e whakamārama ana tēnei i ngā pātai katoa mō te rā takirua i roto i tō hinengaro? Ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki ā mātou whakaaro hei pukapuka ārahi mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakatakoto tauira rā takirua whakamiharo, me te whiwhi i ētahi tohu parāoa mai i tō hoa. Kia maumahara, ehara i te mea ko kōrua anake ngā rā takirua. Engari, he mea nui ake te whakahoahoa. Ngāna kia tuwhera te hinengaro kia pai ai te noho o te katoa o te rōpū, ā, kia waiho ō take whaiaro kia tatari mō te pō kotahi. Ka kite koe, he tino harikoa koe!
FAQs
Ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e rua he rite ō rāua whakaaro te ngahau tahi i te wharekai, i te whare pikitia, i te haerenga mutunga wiki, i te kāinga rānei e inu ana, e takaro ana rānei i ngā kēmu poari.
He whakaaro pai pea tēnei mō te rā tuatahi mēnā kei te mataku koe, kei te wiriwiri hoki, ā, kei te pāngia koe e te manukanuka mō te whakaipoipo . Mā te haere ki tētahi rā takirua ka nui ake tō māia, inā koa mēnā ko te wā tuatahi tēnei i muri i te whakaipoipo tuihono.
Whakatauhia ngā mahi me ngā wāhi mahi tahi, kia wātea, kia marino, kia iti rawa te PDA, kia mau tonu ngā rohe whanaungatanga hauora, ā, kia pai te noho tahi me te iwi me ngā kōrerorero.
Kei te āhua o tō kōrua piripono hei tokorua e whakaipoipo takirua ana, me te nui o tō kōrua harikoa tetahi ki tetahi.
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