Hangaia anō tō marena i te wā e wehe ana mā te whakamahi i ēnei tohutohu 13

Ko te wehenga he tohu i te mutunga o tō marena. Heoi anō, he wā tino ngenge tēnei, ā, ka raru pea koe i ngā kare ā-roto taupatupatu. Engari, kāore e tika kia noho hei ara mutunga kore, kāore he hokinga mai. Mā te mōhio ki te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana, ka whai wāhi koe ki te whai i tētahi atu wā ki te marena me tō hoa rangatira.

"He mārama ngā tohu e aroha tonu ana taku tāne kua wehea ki ahau. Me pēhea taku hanga piriti me te whakaora i taku marena?" "Kua wehe māua ko taku wahine engari e hiahia ana māua kia angitu." Mena kua whakaarohia e kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ēnei whakaaro me ngā pātai, kei te mau tonu te tumanako mō kōrua.

I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka āwhina mai te tohunga hinengaro a Kavita Panyam (he Tohu Paerua Hinengaro, he hononga ā-ao ki te American Psychological Association), kua neke atu i te rua tekau tau e āwhina ana i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakatau i ō rātou raruraru whanaungatanga, kia titiro tātou ki te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana, kia kore ai koe e mutu te whakarērea i ngā mea i te mea kei te wātea tonu te whai wāhitanga.

Ka taea e au te whakaora i taku marena i te wa e wehe ana?

Ehara i te mea ngāwari, i te mea māmā rānei te ara ki te hanga anō i tō marena, engari mā te whakapau kaha tonu, ka taea e koe te whakatutuki. "Ka taea e au te whakaora i taku marena i te wā e wehe ana koe?" Ki te mea kei te whakaaroaro tonu koe ki tēnei pātai, ka kitea e koe he mea whakamarie te mōhio he nui te tūponotanga ka taea e koe te whakaora me te hanga anō i te marena ahakoa kua wehe kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira. Kāore anō kōrua kia whakarerea, nō reira kāore he mea e mau tonu ana.

Ahakoa rā, kia kaha ai te whawhai mō tō marena ina wehea, me titiro tuatahi koe ki ngā take i wehe ai kōrua ko tō hoa. He mahi nanakia te marena? He tangata whakahihi tō marena? He tangata whakahihi koe? He hoa rangatira tukino koe? He take whakamahi kino, he waranga rānei ki ngā matū? Te kore whakapono? Te kore mahi mātua? Te tukino i ngā tamariki?
I te nuinga o te wā, ehara i te mea kotahi anake te take e wehewehe ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, engari ki te kī tonu te marena i ēnei momo āhuatanga kino, ka taea e te take kotahi te pā kino ki a rātou.

Mena kua roa koe e pāngia ana e te paitini, kua mau rānei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora kore, he pai ake te wehe me te wehe atu i te houhanga rongo. Ina kore te marena e ora, ā, kua whiriwhiria e koe kia kaua e uru atu, ko te whakaara anō i taua hononga paitini ka arahi noa i a koe ki raro.

Ko ngā pātai "ka taea e au te whakaora i taku marena i te wā e wehe ana, ā, me pēhea?" ehara i te mea mā te hunga kei roto i tētahi marena hauora, kino, tukino rānei. Ko te hanga anō i tētahi marena i te wā e wehe ana ka taea anake te whai hua i roto i ngā marena whai hua kua pāngia pea e ētahi take, i te wā rānei e uru ana, e kore rānei e whai hua ngā hoa tokorua.

Tērā pea ka kore e pai te haere o aua marena nā ngā take pūtea, ngā take hauora, ngā tamariki, ngā rerekētanga wairua, te pokanoa a ngā whānau tāne, ngā tautohetohe pāpori, me ērā atu mea. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, āe, ka taea e koe te whakaora i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana koe.

Ka taea e te wā wehenga te mahi hei wheketere whakahou i a koe anō, ka hoki mai anō, hei tangata whai hua. Haunga te pupuri i te tumanako i te wā o te wehenga, me rite hoki koe ki te whakapau kaha kia angitu ai tō marena mō te wā tuarua.

Kaua te wehenga e whakaarohia he wāhi whakatārewatanga hei tuku i ō raruraru, hei hoki tahi anō . Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakamahi i te wā wehenga hei wāhi whakaora i tō hononga marena, me mahi koe ki te whakarerekē i tō kōrero, i tō mahi me tō whanonga kia taea ai e koe te hoki ki te ngana me te pono.

Ahakoa kua taea e kōrua te wikitoria i te wehenga o te marena, ā, kua whakatau ki te whakamātau anō, ehara i te mea ka noho āniwaniwa, ka pēpepe noa iho i muri mai. Kua tīmata noa kōrua ki te hanga anō i ngā piriti, ā, he mea nui kia mōhio ki te mahere o te whare i mua i te ruku atu ki mua. Me titiro tātou me pēhea te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana, kia kore ai e arai anō te kore kōrero me ngā tumanakohanga kua whakarerea.

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Me pēhea te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana: 13 ngā tohutohu

Ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi hononga whai hua kāore i pai mō tētahi take, ko te mōhio kei te hiahia koe ki te whakamātau anō ka meinga koe kia manukanuka, kia hiahia hoki ki te mahi i ngā mahi tonu me ngā mahi tuturu hei whakatika i te raruraru me te whakatika i tō marena kua pakaru.

Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakahoki mai i tāu tāne i te wā e wehe ana koe. Me aro atu rānei ki ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakaatu ki tāu wahine e aroha ana koe ki a ia, ā, e hiahia ana koe kia hoki tahi anō. Heoi, kāore he hua o te hoki tahi wawe. E ai ki ngā rangahau , i roto i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e wehe ana, 13% ka hoki anō ki te whanaungatanga.

Ahakoa te āhua pouri i te tīmatanga, ki te mōhio koe ki te whawhai mō tō marena ina wehea, ka piki ake te tūponotanga ka mutu koe ki taua 13%. Hei tautuhi anō i te karaka o tō here marena, me rite koe ki te mahi i te kaupapa matua hei whakatika i ngā take matua. Mā ēnei tohutohu 13 mō te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehea ana koe e āwhina ki te mahi i tēnā:

1. Hei whakaoho anō i te marena i muri i te wehenga, tautuhia ngā take matua

Ahakoa kua wehe atu tō hoa i te marena, kua wehe atu rānei kōrua, kua whakatau rānei kōrua ki te tango i tētahi wā okiokinga, kaua e hohoro te whakamutu i te wehenga. Whakapaua te wā ki te whakaaroaro me te mahi i ō kōrua raruraru. Me huri ō whakaaro, ō kōrero, me ō whanonga kia taea ai e kōrua te whakaoti i ngā raruraru i wehe ai kōrua i te tuatahi, kia angitu ai hoki te marena.

Kaua e tukua ngā whakaaro me ngā kare ā-roto pēnei i te "E aroha ana māua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, kāore e taea e māua te noho tahi me te kore tetahi ki tetahi" me te "He tamariki ā māua, ā, kāore māua e hiahia ki te whakarērea te oranga i hangaia e māua tahi" hei ārahi i tāu whakatau kia hoki tahi anō i te wā wawe. I mōhio kē koe ki ēnei mea, engari nā tetahi mea i wehe ai kōrua. I te roanga o te wā, ka puta te riri i roto i tō kōrua marena i aua raruraru anō.

Nō reira, me whai wā koe ki te tautuhi i taua "mea" kāore e hunaia. He aha te raruraru i mau tonu i a koe? He aha te take i roto i tō marena i arai ai i te awhi i waenganui i a kōrua?

Ki te kore koe e tautuhi i ngā raruraru matua, ahakoa he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, he pūtea, he raruraru rānei mō te whakapuakitanga o tō kōrua aroha, tera pea ka hoki anō kōrua ki ngā tauira o mua, ā, ka kitea anō koe e tū ana i te huarahi o te wehenga. Ki te kore koe e aro ki tō hoa rangatira i te wā e wehe ana koe, me te tumanako ka whakaora te wā me te tawhiti i ngā patunga katoa, kāore ngā mea e pai ina mōhio koe kāore tonu koe e mōhio he aha kōrua e kore ai e taurite ahakoa kua maha ngā marama o te wehenga.

2. Te mea ngaro ki te pupuri i te tumanako i te wā e wehe ana: Whakatauhia i te tuatahi

Kia whai wā koe ki te whakaaroaro mō ō raruraru, whakatauhia he aha tāu e hiahia ana. Kei te hiahia koe kia noho tonu i roto i te marena, kia mutu rānei? Kia mārama, kaua e whakaroa, kaua hoki e tatari roa. Ko te kore whakatau ka arahi ki te nui o te manukanuka me te pouri.

Me whai wāhi anō hoki ngā take i wehe ai kōrua ki tēnei whakatau. He kino , he kino rānei tō kōrua marena? Nā ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga o te ao marena i pā kino ki tō kōrua hononga?

Ka taea e te hunga whai take whai take mō te wā poto te whakatika i ō rātou raruraru me ō rātou rerekētanga. Engari, ko ngā marena ngoikore, kāore e taea te pupuri mō te wā roa. E tika ana kia kaua e pāngia tetahi, tetahi rānei o ngā hoa rangatira e rua.

Kāore e taea te whiriwhiri mēnā he mea tūturu te whakaora i tō marena, ā, mēnā he mea e tino hiahiatia ana e koe. Ehara i te mea mō ngā tamariki, mō te hapori rānei, engari nā te mea e whakapono pono ana koe ka taea te whakatipu i tō hononga hei hononga whai hua, whai hua hoki.

Kia oti i a koe te whakatau ki te whakaara anō i te marena i muri i te wehenga, me tīmata koe ki te whakatū i te turanga. Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki tēnā ko te kōrero ki te hoa rangatira i te wā e wehe ana koe, e ai ki tā mātou e whakamārama nei i te kaupapa e whai ake nei.

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3. Kōrerohia tō hiahia mō te houhanga rongo

Ki te kite koe kei te hoki wawe koe ki tō hoa rangatira nā te mea kei te wehi koe kei neke atu rāua, kei haere tonu rānei te whakarere, engari kei te hiahia koe ki te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki te marena , whakapā atu ki a rāua me te whakapuaki i tō hiahia kia houhia te rongo. I runga i te āhua o te taumahatanga, te āhua rānei o te whakaute, ka taea e koe te tuhituhi atu ki a rāua, te kōrero rānei ki a rāua kia mōhio ai rāua kei te mahi koe i ō raruraru, ā, me whai wā koe, engari kei te hiahia koe ki te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki te marena.

A, no te korero ki to hoa rangatira i te wa e wehe ana, kia mau tonu te korerorero ki te kaupapa. Kaua e uru ki nga korero. I te hoê â taime, a faaitoito ia ratou ia na reira atoa. He mea nui kia pai to hoa rangatira ki te mahi i o raatau ake take kia whai tumanako ai koe ki te hanga i te marena. Na, ko te noho i runga i te whaarangi he mea nui ano hoki.

Ki te kore rātou e whakautu wawe mai, kaua e manawanui. Ko te whakaaroaro pēnei i te "Me pēhea taku e mea ai kia ngaro taku tāne i ahau i te wā e wehe ana?" me te "Me pēhea taku e mea ai kia kite taku wahine i te nui o taku aroha ki a ia?" ka ara ake he whanonga kino.

4. Pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha te momo marena e hiahia ana koe

Kia whakatau kōrua ki te noho tahi, kia angitu ai te marena, pātai atu ki a kōrua anō he aha te momo hoa rangatira, te momo marena rānei e hiahia ana kōrua. He aha te momo hoa rangatira e hiahia ana kōrua kia noho? Ko te whawhai mō tō marena ina wehea, ko te whakaaroaro anō hoki me te mārama ki tā kōrua e rapu ana i tēnei whanaungatanga.

Kāore pea e ranea te pupuri noa i te tumanako i te wā e wehe ana koe, me whakaatu hoki koe ki tō hoa he putanga koe nōu ake e hiahiatia ana. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te hoki ki te mea kotahi i whara ai koe, tika? Waihoki, kei te rapu hoki tō hoa i tētahi whakapainga, i tētahi mea rānei e oati ana i te tipu pai.

I te mārama, kāore i pai tetahi mea i roto i tō kōrua marena, ā, koinei te take i wehe ai kōrua. Nō reira, arotakehia te whanaketanga o kōrua i te wā i marena ai kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira. I pēhea ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga i whakarerekē i a koe? Ā, me pēhea te rerekētanga e hiahia ana koe i tēnei wā? Tuhia ēnei kōrero, kia whai whakaaro ai kōrua mō ngā wā katoa ka whakatau kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ki te kōrero mō te hanga anō i tō kōrua marena i te wā e wehe ana kōrua.

5. Rapua he awhina

Ki te kore e taea e koe te kimi i ngā whakautu ki ēnei pātai, he mea tika kia rapu āwhina koe. Ka taea e kōrua ko tō hoa te whakaaro ki te haere ki te whakaora i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine , me te mahi tahi me tētahi kaiārahi ki te kimi huarahi hei huri i te huarahi ki tētahi huarahi hou. Ki te mea he tangata wairua koe, ka taea e koe te rapu tohutohu mai i tētahi kaiārahi hāhi, i tētahi pirihi rānei. Waihoki, ka taea hoki e koe te tono ki tētahi kaumātua o te whānau kia whakatau me te āwhina i a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ki te hanga anō i tō kōrua marena i te wā e wehe ana.

I te rapu āwhina, me kotahi te whakaaro o kōrua tokorua mō te huarahi e whiriwhiria ana e kōrua. Hei tauira, ki te mea he tangata whakapono kōrua, ā, ehara tō hoa rangatira i te tangata whakapono, kāore pea i te pai te haere tahi ki tētahi kaiārahi wairua, ki tētahi kaiārahi whakapono rānei. Mēnā koinei te āhua, he pai ake te whiriwhiri i tētahi mea kāore he raruraru, pērā i te rapu āwhina mai i tētahi kaiārahi hei tokorua, ā, ka taea e kōrua te tahuri takitahi ki te ārahi wairua.

He mea nui anō hoki kia kaua e hurihia ēnei wā hei whakataetae whiu, e keri ana i ngā paru o mua, e whiu ana tetahi ki tetahi. Kaua e whakapae, e whakaatu rānei i ngā kakahu paru ki te marea. Ina hiahia koe ki te whai i taua ara, kia maumahara koe kei konei koe hei whawhai mō tō marena ina wehea, kaua e whawhai tetahi ki tetahi.

Mena he āwhina tāu e rapu nei, ka taea e te rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro o Bonobology te āwhina i a koe ki te tā i te ara ki tētahi marena rangimarie e tino hiahiatia ana e koe.

6. Hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki

Hei whawhai mō tō marena i te wā e wehe ana, ko te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki te mea nui. Ahakoa te take o tō wehenga, tera pea kua pāngia te whakawhirinaki. Ae, ki te mea kua wehe kōrua nā te kore whakapono a tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira, he roa, he uaua hoki te mahi houhanga rongo me te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki. Kaua e tere.

Whakawāteahia te wā ki te whakaora, takitahi, me te whakaora tahi. I tēnei wā, kaua e hanga he rārangi horoi, kaua hoki e whakapae tonu i tō hoa rangatira mō ā rāua hapa. Kāore he hua o tēnā. Ahakoa ka whakamaharatia rāua e koe mō ā rāua hara kotahi rau ngā wā, ā, ka whakapāha rāua mō tēnā i ia wā, ka mamae tonu koe i te whakaaro ki tā rāua tinihanga. Ā, ko te ritenga kē.

Engari, me whakatū e ngā hoa rangatira e rua tō rāua pono mā roto i ngā mahi. Mēnā ko te raruraru inu waipiro o tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira te take matua o te marena, ka taea e rāua te whakarērea te waipiro hei mahi tuatahi ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki. Mēnā he take waranga, he mea whakatenatena te whakauru atu ki te AA ki te huarahi tika.

Mena kua tinihanga koe i a rātou me tētahi hoa mahi, i te taha kē rānei, mā te whakawhiti mahi ka taea te whakatuwhera i ngā huarahi hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te marena. Me whakatau ngātahi te mea me mahi, ā, me whakaae ngā hoa tokorua ki te tuku i a rātou anō, ki te whakarerekē me te whakatika i ō rātou ara.

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7. Kia whai hua hei tokorua

"I noho takitahi māua i roto i ō māua oranga, ā, i te wā e tino tika ana, ka whakawhitiwhiti kōrero noa māua tetahi ki tetahi," te kōrero a Damian ki a māua, e kōrero ana mō te take i wehe ai rāua ko tana hoa rangatira. "I te wā i mōhio ai māua i a māua e noho wehe ana, e aroha nui ana māua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, kua wareware kē māua tetahi ki tetahi, ka mārama māua me nui ake te whakapau kaha ki tō māua whanaungatanga i tō mua."

"I tīmata māua ki te kōrero nui ake, ki te whakarongo pono tetahi ki tetahi. I whakaatu māua i te hiahia nui, ā, i whai wā ki te whakawhanaunga anō tetahi ki tetahi. Kāore au i te mōhio kua rerekē rawa atu taku hoa i a māua e noho tahi ana. Ko tētahi mea i akohia e au, ki te hiahia koe ki te whakahoki mai i tāu wahine i te wā e wehe ana koe, me peke atu koe ki roto me ō waewae e rua."

Hei whakamutu i te wehenga, hei whakatuwhera hoki i tētahi rau hou i roto i tō kōrua marena, me whai hua kōrua hei tokorua. Hei whakatutuki i tēnā, ko te mea tuatahi, me whakapau wā kounga tahi kōrua. Kōrerohia tetahi ki tetahi, me te whakapuaki i ō kōrua tumanako, moemoeā me ngā wawata.

He mea nui anō hoki kia mahi tahi koutou hei rōpū. Hei tauira, ki te mea he tamariki ā kōrua, me tohatoha ngā kawenga o te mātua, i runga i ō kōrua kaha. Ka taea e tētahi mātua te āwhina i ngā tamariki ki ā rātou akoranga, ka taea e tētahi atu te whakahaere i ā rātou mahi i waho o te kura pērā i te āwhina i a rātou ki ngā hākinakina.

Pērā anō hoki te tohatoha i ngā kawenga o te whare. Mena he pai ake te tunu kai a tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira, ka taea e tētahi atu te tautoko mā te mahi i ētahi atu mahi pēnei i te horoi rihi, te horoi kakahu, me ērā atu mea. Ko te whakaaro kia rongo tonu kōrua kei te rangona, kei te kitea i roto i te marena, kaua e mauheretia i roto i tētahi tauira pōturi e whakamana ana tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira i ngā kare ā-roto me ngā tumanakohanga a tētahi atu i runga i ō rāua hiahia.

Ahakoa kua oti kē te hanga anō i tō kōrua marena, tera pea ka ara ake ngā rerekētanga me ngā whakahē. Kaua e pehi, kaua hoki e huna i a rātou, nā te mea ka ara ake anō i roto i te wā. Engari, me whakapau kaha ki te whakatau i ngā tautohe i runga i te hauora me te whakaute.

8. Rapua te pai o tō hoa rangatira

Ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te whakahoki mai i tāu tāne i te wā e wehe ana koe, kei te ngana rānei koe ki te whai i te pai o tō hoa rangatira, me arotahi koe ki te rapu i te pai o tō hoa rangatira. Ehara i te mea me huna e koe ō kanohi ki ngā āhuatanga kino, ngā āhuatanga kāore e hiahiatia ana rānei o tōna āhua. Mā te mahi pera ka ārai i tō kaha ki te titiro whānui ki tō marena.

Ko tāku e kī nei, kaua e riri ki tō hoa rangatira. Kaua e kōrero kino ki ō hoa, kaua hoki e whakapuaki i ō rātou mamae ki runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori mēnā kua mahi rātou i tētahi mea hei whakapataritari i a koe. Mēnā ka pōuri koe, ka riri rānei i ā rātou whanonga, ngana ki te huri i ō kaha ki tētahi mea whai hua.

Tērā pea ka taea e koe te whakauru i ngā mahi pēnei i te whakakorikori tinana, te māra, tetahi atu mea rānei hei whakamarie i a koe hei ārai i ngā whakaaro kino, hei whakahaere hoki i te kaha nui rawa. Ki te hiahia koe kia puta i te wehenga o te marena me te kore e kino ki tō hoa i te mutunga, kia mahara hoki koe ki te take i aroha ai koe ki a ia i te tuatahi.

Kia kaha ki te arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai me ngā āhuatanga pai o te tuakiri o tō hoa rangatira. Kaua e aro nui, kaua hoki e kōrero kino ki ngā mea kino.

9. Me pēhea te whawhai mō tō marena ina wehea: Whakahaerehia ō tumanakohanga me te pono

Nō ngā whānau rerekē kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, ā, tera pea kāore ō kōrua tumanakohanga e ōrite i ngā wā katoa. Mai i ngā mea iti pēnei i ngā tikanga kai ki ngā whakataunga nui o te ao pēnei i te mahi a ngā hoa rangatira, me noho rānei tētahi ki te kāinga ki te tiaki i ngā tamariki, he maha ngā wā ka noho ngā tumanakohanga rerekē hei pūtake o ngā pakanga i roto i ngā marena.

Me pēhea te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana koe? Ko tētahi wāhanga nui o tēnei panga ko te ako me pēhea te whakahaere i ō tumanakohanga i runga i te pono , me te kimi i tētahi ara waenga ina taupatupatu ō whakaaro mō ētahi take. Kāore e hiahiatia kia waiho hei āhuatanga "kotahi-kotahi rānei", ka taea e koe te waihanga wāhi mō ō whakaaro mō te tika me te hē kia noho i roto i te marena.

Pānui e pā ana: 20 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakahoki i te Aroha o tō Tāne ki a Koe

Hei tauira, mēnā kua uru koe ki te kai huawhenua, he mea tino koretake te tumanako kia whakarērea e tō hoa te kai mīti. Tērā pea he take māmā noa iho, engari ko te tautohetohe tonu mō ia kai ka tino hoha i muri i tētahi wā. Nō reira, ko te huarahi waenga i konei ko te whakaae tahi ki ngā whiringa kai a tētahi ki tētahi me te kore e whakahē.

Waihoki, ki te kore tō hoa rangatira i tautoko i ō whiringa mahi i mua, me kōrero koe ki a ia mō tēnei mea i mua i te whakamutu i te wehenga, me te whakaatu he mea tino nui ki a kōrua te whai mahi me te noho motuhake ki te taha pūtea. Mā kōrua tahi, ka kitea he huarahi hei whai i ā kōrua mahi me te kore e warewarehia ngā kawenga o te whare, o te mātua rānei.

10. Huri tahi kia whai hua ai te marena

Kia kore ai koe e hoki anō ki ngā tauira tawhito ka noho hei wāhi whakatupu raruraru, me rite koe ki te whakarerekē i ō whanonga. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakarerekē katoa i a koe anō, ki te noho rānei hei whāriki tatau mā tō hoa rangatira e hikoi haere ai kia angitu ai te marena. Engari, ko te arotahi ko te whakarerekē ngātahi kia whai hua ai te marena.

Hei tauira, mēnā ko te kore aro o tō hoa rangatira he raruraru pumau i roto i te marena i mua, ka taea e koe te kimi huarahi waenga hei whakakore i te raruraru. Tērā pea ka taea e tō hoa rangatira te whakapau kaha ki te tuku i tōna aro katoa ki a koe i ngā wā piripono, mā te whakarite rānei i ngā pō whakatau . I taua wā anō, ka taea e koe te tuku i te hiahia tonu ki tōna aro i ētahi atu wā o te rā.

"I hiahia ahau ki te hono anō ki taku tāne i te wā e wehe ana mātou, engari i tino mārama tana kī kāore ia e aro ki te reo whakahē e whakamahia ana e au i ngā tautohetohe werawera. Whai muri i ētahi wā tohutohu me taku hoa rangatira, me te kore hoki, ka kite ia kei te tino hiahia ahau ki te whakatika i aku ara. I taua wā anō, i mārama ia he mea tēnei me āwhina ia i ahau," te kōrero a Kelly ki a mātou, he kaipānui nō South Dakota.

Mā te mahi i ēnei huringa iti, ka taea e koe te waihanga i tētahi marena e tupu pai ai te katoa – ahakoa ko koe, ko tō hoa rangatira, ko ā koutou tamariki rānei (mēnā he tamariki). Ko te mārama ki te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana, e whakawhirinaki ana ki tō kaha ki te tiro i te ao mai i te tirohanga a tō hoa.

11. Hoatu he kupu whakamutunga ki a rātou mō ngā kaiwawao whakaaetanga

Ahakoa he mea pai te pupuri i te tumanako i te wā e wehe ana koe, kaua e mahia kia kore ai e whai hua ō uara, ō whakapono, ō harikoa rānei. Mena he take kei te takahi i te whanaungatanga māu, me tuku e koe he kupu whakamutunga ki tō hoa kia whakatikatikaina e ia kia taea ai e koe te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana koe.

Ko ngā mea e kore e taea te whakakore i ngā whakaaetanga he maha ngā mea, mai i te waranga ki te hiahia ki te puremu, te whakatau kaupapa me te kore kōrero ki a koe, te hiahia nui ki te mahi, te whakahaere i ō whakapaunga me ngā tikanga whakapaunga kino. Ina kōrero koe ki tō hoa rangatira i te wā e wehe ana koe, me kī atu ki a ia ko ngā tupono ka tukuna he whai wāhitanga tuarua ki te marena ka whakawhirinaki ki tōna rite ki te whakatika i ēnei take.

I taua wā anō, kia rite ki te mahi i ōu āhua katoa e ārai ana i te whakaaetanga a tō hoa. Ahakoa kei te ngana koe ki te whakahoki mai i tō wahine i te wā e wehe ana koe, kei te hono anō rānei koe ki tō tāne i te wā e wehe ana koe, me te kore he rohe mārama, kāore e taea e koe te huri i tētahi rau hou me te tīmata hou.

He Pānui e Pā Ana: Te Ora i ngā Wā Uaua o te Marenatanga

12. Tukua nga mea o mua

"E kite ana ahau i ngā tohu e aroha tonu ana taku tāne kua wehea ki ahau, engari kāore e taea e au te muru i a ia." Me kī rānei, "E hiahia ana taku wahine kia angitu te marena , engari kei te aukati tetahi mea i ahau." Mēnā kei roto i tō hinengaro ēnei whakaaro, tera pea nā te mea kei te pupuri tonu koe i te mamae me te pōuri i puta mai i ngā tinihanga, i ngā take rānei o mua.

Ka taea e ēnei kare ā-roto e toe ana, e ngā paru rānei o ngā take o mua te arahi ki te mauahara, ka arai pea i te hiahia nui ki te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana koe. I mua i tō tango i te peke ki te whakamutu i te wehenga, me aro atu koe ki tēnei mauahara, me te tuku atu i ngā mea o mua.

Haere ki te rongoā hinengaro, kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro, whiriwhiria te ara wairua, meatia te mea e tika ana kia mahia hei whakakore i ēnei kare ā-roto whakararuraru i mua i te hokinga atu ki tō hoa rangatira. Ki te whakaaro koe ka aro mai tō hoa rangatira ki tēnei, ka taea e koe te whakamātau ki te whakatuwhera i ō whakaaro i roto i te whanaungatanga, me te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira i te wā e wehe ana koe, kia mōhio ai rātou ki ngā mea e pāngia ana koe.

"E hiahia ana ahau ki te muru i ō hara, ki te tuku i ngā mea katoa, engari kāre au i te tino mōhio me pēhea te mahi i tēnā, ā, kei te hoha tonu ahau ki tēnā," mā te kōrero i tētahi mea pēnei ki tō hoa rangatira, ka kotahi tō kōrua whakaaro, ā, ka taea e kōrua te āwhina i a kōrua i roto i ēnei kare ā-roto kino.

Kaua e pehi, e huna rānei i ēnei kare ā-roto nā te mea he uaua ki te whakatau. Mā te mahi pēnā ka hoki mai anō, ka kaha ake, pērā i te tai e ngaru ana, ka taea te horoi i ngā mahi uaua katoa i mahia e kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira kia angitu anō te marena.

13. Whakaarohia he whanaungatanga hou

Nā te mea kua angitu koe i roto i ō mahi ki te whakahoki mai i tāu tāne i te wā e wehe ana koe, ki te whakahoki mai rānei i te aroha o tāu wahine ki a koe, me whakaaro koe ki te rua o ngā wāhanga o tō mārenatanga he hononga hou. Nā te mea, he "tangata hou" kōrua, kua hoki tahi mai i muri i te mahi me te whakatika i ō kōrua raruraru takitahi me ngā raruraru tahi. Me waiho tēnā hei pūtake mō tō whārite hou.

Kaua e hoki anō ki ngā take me ngā hapa o mua, kaua e whakapae , kaua e wareware ki tō hoa rangatira i te wā e wehe ana, kaua e whakapae. Engari, arotahi ki te kawenga me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pakari. Whakatakotoria he rohe hou mō tō whanaungatanga, ā, whakarārangihia ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana kōrua ki te mahi tahi, ki te mahi takitahi hoki, kia mau tonu ai te pai o tēnei whanaungatanga.

Ko te mea nui, ko te whakautu ki te pēhea te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana kei roto i te manawanui. Mena kua pāngia tō marena e ētahi take tae noa ki te taumata i whakatau ai kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ki te wehe, kia mōhio koe kāore e taea e kōrua te huri, te whakatika i te kino me te hono anō i roto i te pō kotahi. Engari mā te manawanui me te manawanui, ka kitea e kōrua he waiata ka taea e kōrua te waiata tahi.

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Te Tohutohu mō te Marenatanga – 15 Ngā Whāinga Me Arotahi, e ai ki te Kaiwhakaora

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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