Panromantic: He aha te tikanga o te noho hei tangata kotahi?

Ki te kitea e koe ka taea e koe te whakawhanake i te aroha, te aroha rānei ki tētahi tangata ahakoa he tāne, he wahine, he tangata takitahi rānei, tera pea koe e whakaaro ana he aha te tikanga o tēnā mō tō tuakiri. I tēnei ao kī tonu i ngā tapanga, ko te kupu "panromantic" tētahi kupu hei whakaahua i te āhua o tō aroha. 

Ko te Panromantic e pā ana ki te kaha ki te rongo i te aroha, te ngākau aroha rānei ki tētahi tangata o tētahi ira tangata. He aronga aroha tēnei, e whakatau ana ko wai ka arohaina e koe i roto i te hinengaro, ā, he rerekē tēnei i te aronga ira tangata, arā, ko wai ka kukumea e koe i te tinana. E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro haumanu a Tākuta Monica Johnson, "Ka taea e ngā aronga aroha te rerekē pērā i ngā aronga ira tangata, tae atu ki ngā kupu pēnei i te panromantic, arā, te kukume i te tangata ahakoa te ira tangata." 

He mea hou tonu tēnei ariā, ā, he tokomaha tonu te hunga e whakaaro ana he aha te tikanga o te kupu "panromantic", ā, kāore he aha. I roto i tēnei aratohu, ka whakamāramahia e mātou te tikanga o te kupu "panromantic" me ōna rerekētanga mai i ngā kupu e pā ana, ka āwhina i a koe ki te mōhio he aha te kupu "panromantic" i roto i a koe mā roto i ngā tohu mārama, ā, ka tukuna atu hoki he tohutohu mō te whakaatu i a koe anō he "panromantic" mēnā kua rite koe. Ahakoa kei te pātai koe mō tō tuakiri, kei te ako noa rānei i a koe anō, kia mahara he tika ō kare ā-roto, ā, ehara i te mea ko koe anake kei te wheako i aua kare ā-roto.

He aha te Panromantic?

Ko te Panromantic he aronga aroha e taea ai e te tangata te kukume aroha ki ngā tāngata o ngā ira katoa. Ko te kupu whakataki "pan-" ko te tikanga "katoa," e whakaatu ana ehara te ira tangata i te mea hei aukati i te whakawhanaketanga o ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata panromantic. Arā, ka rongo ngā tāngata panromantic i ngā whakaoho o te aroha, te aroha nui, te aroha nui rānei i runga i te tangata, ehara i te ira tangata. Ko te panromantic he tuakiri me te nekehanga. He huarahi ki te kī kāore tō ngākau e whakanoho i te tangata ki roto i ngā pouaka mā te ira tangata.

Nō ngā momo āhua katoa te hunga aroha-panromantic, ā, ka taea e rātou te whai i ngā momo ira tangata katoa. Ka wheakohia e ētahi o ngā aroha-panromantic te whakamoemiti, ā, ko ētahi kāore. Hei tauira, ka taea e te tangata te kī he tangata aroha kore-ira, he tangata aroha-nui rānei, arā, ka aroha ki ngā tāngata o tētahi ira tangata, engari he onge, he kore rānei e rongo i te hiahia moepuku. Tērā pea he tangata aroha-nui, he tangata takatāpui hoki, e pāngia whānuitia ana e te hiahia aroha, engari he tangata rerekē anake e hiahia ana ki te moepuku. He maha ngā mea ka taea. Me wetewete tātou i ēnei mea hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ake ki te aronga aroha-nui:

• Te kukume aroha ki ngā ira katoa: Ka taea e te tangata aroha nui te whakawhanake i ngā kare ā-roto aroha ki ngā tāngata o ngā momo tuakiri ira tangata katoa. I roto i ngā kupu ngāwari, ka kī pea rātou kāore he aha te ira tangata ina tae ki te tangata e arohaina ana e rātou.
• Wehea mai i te hōkakatanga ā-ira tangata: Ko te kupu Panromantic e whakaahua ana i te kukume kare ā-roto, te kukume aroha rānei. Kāore e whakaatu aunoa ko wai te tangata e kukume ana i te moepuku, mēnā he tangata kē atu. Hei tauira, ka taea e te tangata te noho panromantic me te kore-ira, te noho panromantic me te takirua-ira, te noho panromantic me te takatāpui, me ētahi atu. E hangai ana tēnei ki te "tauira kukume wehewehe," e wehewehe ana i te aronga aroha mai i te aronga moepuku.
• Ngā aronga whānui, me ētahi atu aronga: He rerekē te Panromantic i te biromantic, te homoromantic rānei. Tērā pea ka kukumea te tangata biromantic ki ngā ira tangata maha, engari kāore e tika kia arohia ngā ira tangata katoa. E tuwhera ana te panromantic ki te aroha ki te tangata katoa, ahakoa te ira tangata, ā, he maha ngā panromantic e whakaaro ana he tino herea rawa ngā kupu pēnei i te biromantic, te polyromantic rānei mō ō rātou wheako.

Te hitori me te takenga mai o te kupu

I puta ake te kupu panromantic i ngā wāhi ipurangi ace me queer i te tīmatanga o te iwi ki te whakaingoa i te whānuitanga o te aronga aroha motuhake mai i te aronga ira tangata, hei wāhanga o te mea kua mōhiotia ko te split attraction model (SAM). I puta te kupu "Aromantic" i ngā huihuinga AVEN i te tau 2005, ā, i rongonui te kīanga hou o SAM i ngā tau 2010 i te mea i whakamahia noa e Tumblr me ngā blog ace ngā kupu pēnei i te heteroromantic, biromantic, me te panromantic.

E kī ana hoki ngā kairangahau me ngā kaituhi hītori ehara i te mea hou te whakaaro ki te wehewehe i te kukume kare ā-roto me te kukume moepuku. I tuhi a Karl Heinrich Ulrichs mō ngā momo aroha me te hiahia kāore i te rite tonu i te tau 1879, ā, ko te mahi a Dorothy Tennov mō whakaōritenga e whakaahua ana i te aroha aroha he rerekē i te hiahia moepuku. Nā ngā hapori ace/aro i rongonui te reo me te whakamahinga o ēnei rā. 

Ngā whārangi tautoko pērā i Ngā papakupu GLAAD, Ngā rauemi o te Kaupapa Trevor kei roto i ēnei ko ngā tapanga tuakiri aroha, e tohu ana i te mana whānui, ā, e hoatu ana ki ngā kaipānui ngā whakamāramatanga tautoko ka taea e rātou te whakapuaki.

Te haki Panromantic: Ko tōna tikanga 

He motuhake tā te hapori panromantic haki whakakake, me ngā rārangi kikorangi, kakariki, karaka, me te whero e tohu ana i te kukume ki ngā tāne, ki ngā tāngata rerekē/kore-rua, ki ngā tāngata rerekē-ira tangata, me ngā wāhine. Anei ngā tohu o ngā tae rerekē i runga i te haki: 

• BlueTe kukume i ngā tāne
• Kākāriki: Te kukume ki ngā tāngata e kore e aro ki te ira tangata/ira tangata
• Karaka: Te kukume ki ngā ira tangata i tua atu, i waenganui rānei i te rua

Whatunga: Te kukume i ngā wāhine

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He Panromantic me he Pansexual — He aha te rerekētanga?

Nā te mea ka tīmata rāua ki te "pan-" ā, he kukume ki ngā ira katoa, e whakaarohia ana he rite tonu te kupu panromantic me te pansexual. Heoi, he rerekētanga nui kei waenganui i ngā mea e rua. Ko te pansexual e pā ana ki te kukume moepuku ki ngā ira katoa, ko te panromantic ia e pā ana ki attraction whaiāipo ki ngā ira tangata katoa. Ko tētahi e pā ana ki te tangata e kukume ana koe i te tinana, i te ira tangata rānei, ā, ko tētahi e pā ana ki te tangata ka taea e koe te aroha, te hiahia rānei ki tētahi whanaungatanga kare ā-roto. Anei ētahi atu āhuatanga e rerekē ai ngā mea e rua:

Te Rerekētanga o te Panromantic mai i ētahi atu Aroaro Romantic 

Ina tirohia te tūranga o te panromantic i roto i te whānuitanga o te aronga aroha, he pai ki te whakataurite ki ngā tapanga tata. Ka rongo te tangata panromantic i te kukume aroha ahakoa te ira tangata, ko te tangata he biromantic ka kukumea ki te neke atu i te kotahi ira tangata engari kāore i te kī ko te katoa. Ka rongo hoki te hunga omniromantic i te kukume puta noa i ngā ira tangata, engari ka kite pea rātou i te whai wāhi a ngā manakohanga ira tangata. He rerekē, ko ngā tuakiri heteroromantic me homoromantic e whakaahua ana i te kukume ki tētahi ira tangata motuhake. Mā te whakaaro tahi ki ēnei tapanga ka kitea te huarahi e taea ai e te tauira kukume wehewehe te hopu i ngā rerekētanga ngawari i waenga i te kukume kare ā-roto me te kukume moepuku me te whiriwhiri i ngā kupu e pai ana ki ō rātou wheako.

Panromantic vs Biromantic

Panromantic vs Omniromantic

Panromantic vs Heteroromantic/Homoromantic

Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā he tangata aroha nui koe: 10 ngā tohu mārama

Kei te whakaaro koe he aha te tikanga o te kupu "panromantic" ki a koe, ā, mēnā e tika ana tēnei tapanga ki a koe? He haerenga uaua te kimi i tō aronga, inā koa kāore te aroha e rite ki ngā tikanga tuku iho. Anei ngā tohu me ngā wheako mārama tekau e tohu ana he panromantic koe. He ahurei te katoa, nō reira, tera pea ka nui ake tō hononga ki ētahi o ēnei i ētahi atu, ā, he pai tēnā. Tirohia mēnā he pono ēnei ki a koe:

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1. Kāore he pānga o te ira tangata ki ō hiahia me ō whanaungatanga aroha

Mena kua pāngia koe e te aroha e te ira tangata, e te ira tangata rānei, e kī ana rānei koe "Kāore e taea e au te ārai i te tangata e arohaina ana e au" ā, e kī ana koe ehara te ira tangata i te mea nui, he tohu kaha tēnā pea he tangata aroha nui koe. He maha ngā tāngata aroha nui e kī ana he matapo ira tangata tō rātou aroha. Ka aroha rātou ki te tangata, ehara i te ira tangata. Ahakoa he tāne tō aroha i roto i tō akomanga, he hoa mahi kore-rua, he kōtiro rānei i tūtaki koe ki te whare kawhe, ka rongo tonu koe i taua wiri me te kukume kare ā-roto. Ko tēnei tuwhera i roto i tō aroha aroha he tohu o te aronga aroha nui.

2. Ka hinga koe ki te tangata, ehara i te ira tangata

He aha te āhua o te aroha mō te aroha nui? Tērā pea ka kitea e koe ko te āhua o te tangata, tōna ngākau, me tōna hononga te mea e kukume ana i a koe, kaua ko ngā āhuatanga ira tangata. He maha ngā wā ka whakanuia e te hunga aroha nui ko ngā āhuatanga o te tangata—tō rātou whakakatakata, tō rātou atawhai, tō rātou hinengaro, me tō rātou wairua—te mea e aroha ai rātou.

Hei tauira, tērā pea ka kitea e koe te tipu haere o ngā kare ā-roto mō tētahi i muri i te whai wāhi atu ki ētahi kōrero hōhonu ki a rātou i runga ipurangi, i mua i tō mōhio he aha te ira tangata e tohu ana i a rātou. Ina kōrero mai rātou ki a koe, kāore e tino rerekē ō kare ā-roto. Kua aroha kē koe ki a rātou, arā, ki te tangata.

3. He ngākau aroha koe

Ko tētahi atu tohu ko te mea nui ake i a koe te whanaungatanga piripono me te aroha i te kukume i te moepuku. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe he nui ake te kukume i a koe ki te hononga hohonu o te kare ā-roto, e tohuhia ana e te awhi, te pupuri ringa, te kōrero ngākau nui, me te noho tahi, i ngā āhuatanga moepuku o te whanaungatanga. Ko te hunga aroha whānui, inā koa ko te hunga kāore he ira tangata, he maha tonu te whakaahua i a rātou anō he "tino aroha nui." 

Ki ētahi, kāore pea te taatai ​​i te pai, kāore rānei i te tino whakamere, engari e aroha ana rātou ki te ariā o te aroha, te whakaipoipo, me te hononga. Ki te kite koe i a koe anō e moemoeā ana mō ngā wā aroha reka pēnei i te kanikani puhoi i roto i te kīhini, te mātakitaki whetu rānei i a koe anō i te moepuku, tera pea kei te rerekē te hiahia aroha me te hiahia moepuku. E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro a Lisa Diamond, "Ahakoa he maha ngā wā e hono tahi ana te aroha aroha me te hiahia moepuku, he rerekē tonu, e akiakihia ana e ngā hiahia me ngā kare ā-roto rerekē." Tērā pea ka tino kitea tēnei rerekētanga e te hunga aroha nui. 

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4. I ahua herea ētahi atu tapanga tae noa ki te kitenga i te "panromantic"

He tokomaha te hunga ka tae ki te whakatau ko rātou he tangata aroha nui i muri i te haerenga whakamātau i ētahi atu tapanga kāore i tino ōrite. Tērā pea kua pā ki a koe ngā wā i whakaaro ai koe mēnā he takatāpui koe, he heteroflexible, he homoromantic rānei, engari kāore i tino hopukina e ēnei tetahi o ō wheako. Tērā pea i whakaaro koe he kuiti rawa ngā kupu pēnei i te "bi", nā te mea ehara i te mea ko ō kare ā-roto e pā ana ki ngā ira e rua anake. Kāore rānei i te ōrite te "tika/takatāpui" nā te mea i mōhio koe ka taea e koe te hinga ki ngā ira neke atu i te kotahi. He maha ngā wā ka puta mai tēnei tohu me te momo wā "rama rama". 

Kotahi wahine wahine i whakapuaki i tana kōrero ki Reddit. I pātai ia mēnā ko ia tangata whakawai, kātahi ka takatāpui, kātahi ka pani, ka hoki whakamuri, tae noa ki te mutunga, "I kite ahau i tētahi atu kaiwhakamahi e whakaahua ana i a rātou anō he takatāpui panromantic. Ā, me kī atu ahau, e tino mōhio ana ahau he rama kei roto i tōku mahunga." Mōna, i pā ohorere te ako i te kupu panromantic. I pā ki te ngākau nā te mea i whakamārama he aha i kore ai tetahi o ngā tuakiri kē atu i tino tika. 

Ki te mea kua rongo koe "me whai kupu mō ōku kare ā-roto" ā, kātahi ka rongo koe i te whakamarie, i te mōhio rānei i te wā i tūtaki ai koe ki te panromantic, he tohu kaha tēnā. Tērā pea i mōhio koe ehara koe i te tangata tika, i te tangata takatāpui, i te tangata takirua rānei, inā koa he tangata kore-ira koe, he tangata ahurei rānei ō hiahia. Nā te tikanga panromantic i hoatu he kupu ki a koe e whakaae ana ki tō kaha ki te aroha ki tua atu i te ira tangata me te kore e whakaaro ki te hiahia moepuku. 

5. Kua rongo koe i te kukume i tua atu i te rua

Ko tētahi tohu o te aronga aroha whānui ko te korenga o tō hiahia aroha e herea noa ki ngā ira tangata rua tuku iho. Ko te aroha tuatahi pea i pā ki a koe he kōtiro, ko te aroha tuarua pea he tama, ā, i muri mai ka kitea koe e aroha ana ki tētahi tangata ehara i te ira tangata rua, he ira tangata takatāpui rānei. Mena kua pā ki a koe ngā kare ā-roto aroha mō ngā tāngata kāore i te tino uru ki ngā kāwai "tāne" me "wahine", he tohu kaha tēnei ka taea e te aroha whānui te whakaahua i a koe. 

He maha ngā wā ka taupatupatu tēnei ki te wheako o te hunga takatāpui, takatāpui rānei i te aroha me te kukume, ā, koinei te take e mārama ai tēnei te aronga aroha he āhua uaua. Heoi, ko te mea nui e wehewehe ana i konei ko te mea ahakoa ka taea e te hunga takatāpui te kukume i te neke atu i te kotahi te ira tangata, ā, he maha ngā tāngata e whakauru ana i te hunga ehara i te takirua ki roto i tā rātou whakamāramatanga, ko te hunga aroha nui e tino hono ana ki te ariā "ira tangata katoa" me te pai ake ki te kupu e tohu mārama ana i taua whakaurunga. 

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6. Ahakoa kei roto koe i te whānuitanga o te aroha, ka kitea tonu e koe te kukume aroha

Ko tētahi tohu tino mārama he tangata aroha koe, inā koa, ko te whakaatu i a koe he tangata kore-ira, engari kei te mau tonu te aroha ki te tangata. He maha ngā tāngata kore-ira e kitea ana ngā tapanga aroha hei whakaahua i te āhua o tā rātou aroha, ā, he mea noa te aroha. Hei tauira, ka taea e koe te kī, "He tangata aroha kore-ira ahau," ko te tikanga kāore koe e aro ki te tangata, engari ka aroha koe ki te tangata o tētahi ira tangata. 

Hei tangata toa, ka whakaaro pea koe, "Kāore au e hiahia ki te moe tahi me tetahi, engari ka kite pea au i a au anō e aroha ana ki tetahi atu tangata, tāne, wahine, ahakoa pēhea." Mena koinei te āhua o tō tuakiri, ko te aroha nui tētahi wāhanga o tō tuakiri. 

Ko te hunga i roto i te hapori kore-ira tangata, e karangatia ana ko "aces", i whakawhanake i ngā kupu pēnei i te panromantic, biromantic, heteroromantic, me ētahi atu, hei whakamārama i te "taha aroha" o tō rātou aronga motuhake mai i te "taha moepuku." Kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau ko te nuinga o ngā pakeke kore-ira tangata he aronga aroha kāore e rite ki tō rātou aronga moepuku. I roto i tētahi ako, 37% noa iho o ngā kaiuru kore-ira he rite tonu te aronga aroha ki tō rātou korenga o te kukume i te taatai. 

7. Kei te rongo koe i te momotu i waenga i ō tauira aroha me ō tauira kukume ā-ira tangata

Kua whakaaro koe i tētahi wā kāore i te tino ōrite te tangata e whakawhanakehia ana e koe ō kare ā-roto aroha mōna, me te tangata e kitea ana e koe he "ātaahua"? Hei tauira, kua kite pea koe ka taea e koe te whakawhanake i te aroha aroha ki tētahi ira tangata, engari ko ō kare ā-roto moepuku, mēnā he mea, ka anga atu ki tētahi ara motuhake. Ehara i te katoa te wheako i tētahi wehenga nui i konei, engari ki te pāngia koe e tētahi, he tohu nui tēnā. 

Tērā pea he tāne koe e mōhio ana, "Ka taea e au te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne, i tētahi wahine, i tētahi tangata rānei, engari ko te wahine anake taku e hiahia ana ki te taha ā-ira tangata." He tangata rānei koe e tino hiahia ana ki ngā kare ā-roto, engari kāore he nui o te hiahia ā-ira tangata. Ki te whakaae koe ki tēnā, ko te tikanga he whānui rawa te aroha o tō hiahia aroha. 

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8. Kua pā mai ō kare ā-roto aroha, engari kāore he hiahia ā-ira tangata

He wā "aha!" whaiaro tēnei tohu mō te tini. Whakaarohia ōu aroha o mua: Kua pā ki a koe he hononga ā-hinengaro ki tētahi kāore anō kia kitea he hiahia moepuku ki a rātou? Hei tauira, tera pea i aroha nui koe ki tētahi hoa, ā, i moemoeā koe mō te awhi, te whakaipoipo, me te kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe," engari kāore i puta ake te whakaaro mō te moe tahi me rātou, kāore rānei i tino pai ki a koe. Mena ka taea e koe te maumahara ki ēnei wā, inā koa mēnā kāore he pānga o te ira tangata ki aua wā, e tohu ana tēnei ka pāngia koe e te kukume aroha ahakoa te kukume moepuku. 

Kotahi He whakaahuatanga o te kaiwhakamahi Reddit ko tō rātou aronga he "tino ngāwari ake te kukume i te tangata i ahau, engari kāore i te tere tonu, i te nuinga o te wā. Kāore te ira tangata e tino uru ki te kukume i te aroha." I haere tonu rātou ki te whakamārama ka puta pea te kukume i te moepuku i muri i te hanganga o tētahi whanaungatanga kaha, ā, ahakoa i taua wā, tera pea ka whakawhirinaki ki te ira tangata o te tangata i roto i ngā huarahi uaua, engari ko te kukume i te aroha te wāhanga i puta noa mai, ā, ki ngā ira tangata katoa.

Nō reira, ki te rongo koe i te aroha ahakoa te kore o te hiahia, he tohu mārama tēnā o te aroha nui, o tētahi momo aronga aroha rānei, he rerekē i tō aronga ira tangata. E aroha ana koe ki te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, ahakoa kāore tō tinana e "peke" i te ara ira tangata, ā, kāore he pānga o te ira tangata o taua tangata ki tō ngākau.

9. Ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi atu mena he kaha te hononga

Ko te hunga aroha nui he tino tuwhera te hinengaro mō te ira tangata o ā rātou hoa. Tērā pea ka rongo koe i a koe anō e kī ana, "He pono, ka kite pea ahau i ahau e mutu ana ki te noho tahi me tētahi tāne, wahine rānei, me tētahi atu tangata ehara i te takirua. Kei te tangata anake ka tūtaki ahau." Ahakoa he "momo" tō ētahi atu e herea ana e te ira tangata, kāore koe i tino pērā. 

Tērā pea i tipu ake koe me te whakaaro ka moe koe i te ira tangata kē, nā te mea he mea noa iho nā te hapori, engari i a koe e pakeke haere ana, ka mōhio koe ka taea e koe te tino harikoa i roto i te whanaungatanga ira tangata kotahi, i te whanaungatanga rānei me te tangata kāore e pai ki te ira tangata, mena kei reira tonu te aroha. Ko tēnei ngāwari whakaaro he tohu kaha o te aronga whānui o te aroha. 

Ahakoa kāore anō kia whakaipoipo koe i ngā ira katoa i roto i te mahi, kāore te whakaaro e whakararuraru i a koe. Tērā pea ka harikoa koe i te whakaaro ko tō hoa rangatira he tangata noa iho. Whakatauritea tēnei ki tētahi tangata, hei tauira, he tino heteroromantic. Kāore e taea e rātou te whakaaro kei te aroha rātou ki tētahi o tōna ira. Engari ka taea e koe. He tohu ataahua tēnā o te ngākau aroha whānui.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Taupānga Teití LGBTQ Pai rawa atu e 12

10. I tino tika te kitenga i te kupu "panromantic"

He maha ngā tāngata e pātai ana mō tō rātou aronga, ka whai wā whakamārie ina kitea e rātou te whakaahuatanga e tika ana mō rātou. Mēnā, i tō rongonga i te kupu panromantic, ka whakaaro tonu koe, "Ko au tēnā!", he tohu nui tēnā. Tērā pea i tino oho koe, ā, i te wā tuatahi i mārama ai koe. Tērā pea kua rongo koe i te ngaru o te marino, i te wā i tau ai ngā mea ki tōna tūranga tika. 

Ko te tikanga o taua momo mōhiotanga kaha kua kitea e koe he tuakiri e rite ana ki tō wheako. He tokomaha te hunga e kī ana nā te tango i te tapanga panromantic i puta ai te wairua nō rātou me te whakaae ki a rātou anō. E kī ana a Tākuta Johnson, "Ko te pansexuality, me te panromanticism whānui, ka tukuna he whai wāhitanga ki te tangata kia kaua e whakakore i tetahi mea nā te mea he ira tangata, he ira tangata rānei." Mō te hunga i whakaaro pērā tonu, he mea kaha te kimi i tētahi kupu mōna.

Me pēhea te puta mai hei Panromantic

He ahua whakamataku te whakapuaki i tō aroha nui. Nā te mea, kāore te katoa i te mōhio ki te kupu nei, ā, tera pea koe e manukanuka me pēhea te whakamārama he "aroha nui tōu ki ngā ira katoa." Ko te rongo pai ko te wā, me pēhea, me te tangata hei whiriwhiri māu. Kāore he huarahi tika kotahi hei mahi i tēnā, ko te mea anake e pai ana māu. Ahakoa kua whakapuaki kē koe i tētahi wāhanga o tō tuakiri, he kōrero hou rānei tēnei mā te tangata, anei ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i te tukanga whakapuaki i tō aroha nui:

1. Kia tino rite koe, kia noho haumaru hoki

Tuatahi, puta mai i runga i ō ake tikanga. Haere mai He whakatau tino whaiaro tēnei, ā, me mahi e koe ina rite koe, ina rite hoki ō kare ā-roto, ā, ina hoki kei te haumaru koe. Kāore he huarahi "tika" he "hē" rānei hei whakaputa i tō whakaaro, ā, kāore hoki he wā kua whakaritea hei whai māu. Whakapaua te wā e hiahiatia ana e koe ki te mārama me te whakaae ki tō tuakiri aroha nui i mua i te whakapuaki atu ki ētahi atu. Tērā pea ka uru atu ki tēnei, 

• Noho tahi me ia mō tētahi wā
• Te tuhitaka
• Te kōrero takitahi ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro, ki tētahi hoa tata rānei

Aromātaihia hoki tō taiao. Ka tautokohia rānei koe e te hunga e kōrerotia ana e koe? Engari, kāore te katoa e mārama tonu ana ki ngā aronga kāore i te tino mōhiotia. Mena kei te whakawhirinaki koe ki te whānau, kei roto rānei i te taiao matatika, whakaarohia mēnā he haumaru te whakapuaki i tō whakaaro i tēnei wā tonu. Ko tō haumaru me tō oranga te mea tuatahi. Mena kei te whakapae koe i tētahi urupare kino rawa atu a ētahi tāngata—hei tauira, ki te wehi koe kei peia koe i tō kāinga, kei tukinotia rānei—ka taea e koe te whakaroa, te kōrero rānei ki ētahi tāngata tautoko kua tohua. 

Ki te whakapae koe i tētahi urupare kino rawa atu a ētahi tāngata—hei tauira, ki te wehi koe kei peia koe i tō kāinga, kei tukinotia rānei—ka pai pea koe ki te whakaroa, ki te kōrero rānei ki ētahi tāngata tautoko torutoru. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whai hua o te rongoā ipurangi ki ngā tāngata LGBTQ+

2. Tīmata ki tētahi e whakawhirinaki ana koe

Ina whakatau koe ki te whakapuaki, he pai te tīmata me te tangata tautoko kotahi. Whakaarohia he hoa, he tuākana, he kaiārahi rānei kua whakaatu i a ia anō he hinengaro tuwhera, he mema rānei nō te hapori LGBTQ+. Mā te kōrero tuatahi ki tētahi hoa kotahi ka taea te whakanui ake i tō whakapono me te tautoko. Hei tauira, ka taea e koe te kukume i tō hoa tata ki te taha ka mea atu, "E hika mā, kua rapu au i ētahi whakaaro, ā, kua kite au i tētahi mea mōku anō. Ka taea e au te kōrero ki a koe mō tēnei mea?" Kātahi ka whakamōhio atu ki a rātou he tangata aroha nui koe, ā, whakamāramahia i roto i ō ake kupu te tikanga o tēnā. 

Tērā pea ka aro atu te hoa pai ki te aroha, ki te whakaae rānei. Mēnā kua mōhio kē rātou ki tō hiahia ira tangata, ka taea e koe te whakamārama me pēhea te uru atu ki tēnei. Hei tauira, "He tino pai tonu ahau, engari he tino aroha, arā, ka taea e au te whai kare ā-roto aroha ki te tangata ahakoa te ira tangata." Mēnā kāore koe i te tino mōhio ka mārama tetahi i roto i tō porowhita tata, whakaarohia te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro ki tētahi hoa ipurangi, ki tētahi hapori rānei i te tuatahi. 

I ētahi wā, he māmā ake te kōrero i ngā mea o te tangata ke, o ngā hoa ipurangi rānei, nā te mea he iti ake te mōrearea, ā, ka taea e koe te whakaharatau i tō whakapuakitanga. Ahakoa kotahi te tangata e kī ana "E harikoa ana ahau nāu i kōrero mai ki ahau" ka tino whakamana, ā, ka māmā ake te kōrero ki ētahi atu. Ka taea hoki e tēnei tangata pono te noho hei hoa mōu mēnā ka whakapuaki koe i ō whakaaro ki ētahi atu tāngata ā muri ake nei.

3. Whiriwhiria te wa tika

He rerekētanga nui te whiriwhiri i te wā tika me te wāhi tika mō te whakapuaki i tō whakaaro. Ko te mea pai, kimihia he wā e marino ana te tangata e kōrerotia ana e koe, e noho pukumahi ana, e noho motuhake ana, e noho whakamarie ana rānei. Me karo koe i ngā wā taumaha, i ngā wā pōrearea rānei. 

Ehara i te mea pai te noho i waenganui o te tautohetohe, i te rima meneti rānei i mua i te wehenga atu o te katoa ki te mahi. Kāore he wā tino pai, engari he pai ake ētahi wā i ētahi atu. Akene me hopu atu ki tō hoa i a koe e noho wātea ana, me kōrero rānei ki tō mātua i te ahiahi marino i te kāinga. Me whakarite kia nui te wā hei kōrero, ā, kia kore ai koe e whakararuraruhia. 

He mea nui anō hoki te noho tūmataiti, inā koa mēnā kei te mataku koe. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he pai ake te kōrero mārire i roto i tō rūma, i a koe e hikoi ana rānei, i te whakapuaki i tētahi mea i roto i te rūma noho kī tonu i te tangata. Whakaarohia te wāhi e tino pai ana ki a koe mō tēnei kōrero, ā, whiriwhiria kia rite ki tēnā. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Taku Oranga Moemoeā

4. Whakamāramahia te tikanga o te kupu "panromantic" i roto i ngā kupu mārama, ngāwari hoki

I te mea ehara te kupu panromantic i te kupu e mōhiotia ana e te katoa, kia rite ki te tuku i ētahi kōrero. Tērā pea ka kī atu koe, "Nō reira, ko te tikanga o te panromantic ka taea e au te rongo i te aroha ki te tangata, ahakoa te ira tangata." Whakaritea tō whakamārama kia rite ki te taumata mārama o te tangata. Mēnā he tino mōhio rātou ki ngā ariā LGBTQ+, ka taea e koe te tāpiri atu, "He rite ki te pansexual, engari mō te aroha, ehara i te aroha ā-ira tangata." 

Ki te mea kei te whakapuaki koe i ōu ake whakaaro ki te whānau, kāore pea rātou e mōhio ki te tikanga o te pansexual, ka taea e koe te hono atu ki tētahi mea e mārama ana rātou: "Ko te tikanga, ka taea e au te aroha ki tētahi tangata o tētahi ira tangata. Kāore au e whakawhāiti i te hunga ka taea e au te whai hononga ki a rātou i runga i te mea he tāne, he kōtiro, he tangata kore-ira rānei." Kia poto, kia māmā hoki te kōrero. Kia manawanui ki te whakamārama.

I taua wā anō, kia maumahara, kāore koe e tika kia kōrero roa ki tētahi, engari mā te whakamārama poto ka āwhina i te ārai i te whakapoauau. Ko te mea nui ko te whakapuaki i tō pono i roto i te huarahi e taea ai e rātou te keri. Ko koe pea te tangata tuatahi e mōhio ana ki te aroha nui, nō reira mā te whakamārama mārama ka whakatakoto i te huarahi mō tō rātou māramatanga me te tautoko.

5. Kia manawanui, kia rite hoki mō ngā pātai

Nā te mea he āhua motuhake te kupu "panromantic", me rite koe mō ētahi pātai, ngā titiro pōuri, tae noa ki ngā whakaaro hē. Kaua e miharo mēnā ka pātai mai tētahi, "Nō reira, ko te tikanga ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo i tētahi atu tangata?" "He aha te rerekētanga o tēnei i te noho takirua/tāne takatāpui?" Ehara i te mea kei te ngana rātou ki te whakakore i a koe, engari he nui ake te tūponotanga, me mārama noa iho. Ngāna kia manawanui, kia whakautua hoki ngā pātai i te wā e pai ana koe. 

He pai pea te whakanui anō i ngā kaupapa matua. Ka taea e koe te kī, "Ehara i te mea kei te aro atu ahau ki te hunga katoa e tūtaki ana ahau. Ko te tikanga he pūmanawa kei reira mō tetahi ira tangata, mēnā ka aro atu ahau ki tētahi mea." Mēnā kei te puta mai koe hei wāhanga o te whānuitanga o ngā tohunga, tera pea ka pātaihia koe pēnei i te "Me pēhea e aroha ai koe ki tētahi mēnā kāore koe e hiahia ki te moepuku?" Ka taea e koe te whakamārama he rerekē te aroha aroha me te hiahia moepuku. Kia mahara, kāore koe i te herea kia noho hei pukapuka hikoi. Ki te kore he whakautu āu, ki te mea rānei kei te pōuri koe, he pai ki te kī, "Kei te ako tonu ahau mō tēnei mea, engari e mōhio ana ahau koinei taku kare ā-roto." 

Te pānui e pā ana: He tuwhera mō tōna moepuku, ā, he harikoa mō āna mahi toi: Sujoy Prosad Chatterjee

6. Kia rite te tautoko me ngā rauemi

Ki te taea, hono atu ki te hapori whānui, ki ngā rauemi rānei mō te hunga aroha, te hunga takatāpui rānei. Mā te mōhio kei a koe te tautoko ka māmā ake te whakaputa i ō whakaaro. Ko te tikanga pea tēnei ko te whakauru atu ki tētahi rōpū ipurangi, te whakapuaki rānei i ō whakaaro ki tētahi rōpū tautoko LGBTQ+ i te kura, i tō tāone rānei. Ki te whakaputa kōrero koe ki te whānau, me whakarite pea he nama waea a tētahi hoa tautoko hei waea atu i muri mai, mehemea ka hiahia koe ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro, ki te whakanui rānei. Ki te kore ngā mea e pai ki tāu i tumanako ai, me whakarite he mahere tāpiri. 

Hei tauira, ki te wehi koe i te urupare kino a ngā mātua, tohua he wāhi haumaru hei noho mō te wā poto, he wāhi rānei hei kōrero atu māu mō te tautoko kare ā-roto. Ko te tumanako, kāore koe e hiahia ki tēnā, engari mā te mōhio kei reira ka taea te whakamama i te manukanuka. He mea āwhina hoki te whakarato rauemi ki ō hoa aroha hei ako atu. I muri i tō putanga mai, ka taea e koe te tohatoha i tētahi hononga pēnei i te, "Anei tētahi tuhinga e whakamārama ana i te panromantic," mehemea kei te hiahia rātou ki te ako i a rātou anō i tua atu i tā kōrua kōrero tuatahi.

FAQs

Thoughts Final

Ko te tikanga o te aroha whānui ko te kore e mōhio ki ngā rohe o te ira tangata, ā, he mea ataahua tēnā. He kupu hou ake pea, he kupu iti ake rānei te mōhiotia, engari he wheako tino tūturu tēnei mō te tini o te tangata, tae atu ki a koe pea. I a tātou e whanake haere ana te māramatanga ki te moepuku me te aroha, he maha ake ngā tāngata e kimi ana i ngā tapanga e whakaata tika ana i ō rātou karu kukume ā-roto. Mena ko te aroha whānui te tapanga mōu, mauria me te whakahīhī. Kia mahara kāore e herea koe. Inaa, e whakanui ana i te herekoretanga o tō ngākau ki te aroha ki te tangata e hono ana ki tō wairua.

He mea hou te whanaungatanga rere, ā, kei te pakaru te ipurangi i tēnei tokorua.

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