10 Ngā Tohu Kei te Whakaipoipo Koe i tētahi Tama, Ehara i te Tāne

He rerekētanga nui i waenganui i te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne tūturu me te whakaipoipo i tētahi tama tāne, i tētahi tamaiti tāne rānei. Nō reira, ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ki tēhea wāhanga e taka ana tō hoa aroha. Ka kawea mai e te tāne he hononga pumau, kaha, me te pumau ki te tēpu, engari ko te tama he maha ngā wā ka nui rawa atu ōna hiahia, matea, me ōna wawata, ā, kāore e taea e ia te tuku i tētahi mea whai hua ki tana hoa, ki te whanaungatanga rānei.

Kāore he take ki te kī, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i te whakapau kaha me te pumau mō te wā roa, me noho tahi koe me te tangata tuatahi. Koia te take he mea nui te mōhio ki te rerekētanga i waenga i te tama me te tāne i roto i te whanaungatanga mō tōna heke mai. Engari nā te mea he uaua ki te mōhio tonu ki tētahi, he uaua pea ki te whakatau ko wai te momo tangata o tō hoa.

He māmā noa te kite i te rerekētanga i waenga i te tama me te tāne i roto i te whanaungatanga, mena e mōhio ana koe ki tāu e rapu ana. Kia kore ai koe e hē te tapanga i tō tāne, ā, kia ngaro ai tētahi mea pai, me titiro tātou ki te rerekētanga i waenga i te whakaipoipo i te tāne me te tama.

10 Ngā Tohu kei te Whakaipoipo Koe i tētahi Tama, Ehara i te Tāne

E hiahia ana tātou katoa ki tētahi hoa ora ko wai hei hanga hononga whai tikanga mā tātou, kaua ko tētahi e hiahia tonu ana ki te tiaki tamariki. He tokomaha o tātou ka mutu ko te ritenga kē. I roto i ēnei momo whanaungatanga, ko tātou tonu te hunga e whakaae ana, e mahi ana hoki hei mātua ki ō tātou hoa.

I te mea kāore he tangata e moemoeā ana ki te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, he mea nui kia mōhio koe me pēhea te wehewehe i te tama me te tāne. Tērā pea ka whakawhirinaki te tangata i te āhua kua mōhio ia ki ngā mea katoa ki a koe ki te kimi i āna kakahu mōna. Tērā pea ka hae tonu ia, ā, ka mea atu pea kia mutu tāu kōrero ki ō hoa tāne, nā te mea he raruraru ki a ia.

"He tāne taku e hiahia ana, ehara i te tama," ka whakaaro pea koe, e ngana ana ki te kimi i te hoa tino pai māu. Engari ki te kore koe e mōhio me pēhea te mōhio ko tēhea, kāore koe e whakanoho i a koe ki te tūranga pai rawa atu hei kimi i tētahi hoa pai māu, koia rā?

Mā te mōhio ki ngā mea e wehewehe ai te tama i te tāne, ka nui te rerekētanga ina tae mai ki te whakatau tika. Anei ngā tohu tekau e whakaatu ana kei te piri koe ki tētahi tama, ehara i te tāne, me āta mōhio koe, kia tika ai te huarahi o ō whiringa whanaungatanga:

1. Ka oma atu ia i ngā kawenga

He hononga tata te whanaungatanga me te kawenga. Me rapu mēnā ka taea e tāu tāne te kawe i ngā kawenga i ngā wā o te raruraru, kāore rānei ia e ngoikore i raro i te pēhanga. He nui ake te kōrero a ngā mahi i ngā kupu, ā, ko ēnei kōrero iti nei te mea e wehewehe ai te tama i te tāne.

Ki te mea kei te rapu huarahi koe ki te mōhio mēnā kei te pai ia i raro i te pēhanga, mā te aro ki tōna āhua i tana mahi ka āwhina pea. Ahakoa i te kāinga, i ngā wā uaua, ka oma atu ia i ngā raruraru e pā mai ana ki a ia, ka whakaaro rānei ia ki te mahi e whai ake nei? Kia mahara, ko te karo i te whakapae me te takaro i te kāri patunga i ia wā he huarahi ki te oma atu i ngā kawenga.

2. Ehara ia i te tāne wahine kotahi

He hunga whakakatakata, he hunga mānumanu hoki ngā tama. tera pea te tama e whakaatu ana i tōna hiahia, kātahi ka hoki whakamuriKa takaro rātou, ka tinihanga, kātahi ka hoki mai ki a koutou me ngā kanohi roimata, me te pouri mō ā rātou mahi hē. Ko te rerekētanga i waenga i te tama me te tāne i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te piripono o te tāne ki a koe, me te whakaute i tana piripono ki a koe. Kāore ia e ngāwari ki te riro i ngā kare ā-tamariki.

I a koe e ngana ana ki te rapu i ngā rerekētanga i waenga i te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne me tētahi tama, ngana ki te tātari i tōna hītori whakaipoipo me te nui o tōna uara ki te marena kotahi. Mena kua whakaae ia kua mutu āna whanaungatanga o mua nā tana puremu, he mea nui kia āwangawanga koe.

Ahakoa rā, kāore i te tino mōhiotia ka mahi anō ia i te hapa kotahi, ka pēnei tonu rānei. Kōrero ki tō hoa, me te ngana ki te rapu i tana tikanga mō te taha o te moe tāne me te wahine i tēnei wā.

3. Kāore ia i te māia

Ki te mea he āwangawanga tonu tō hoa rangatira mōu i te taha o ētahi atu tāne, he tohu mārama tēnei kei te piri koe ki tētahi tama, ehara i te tāne. He māia te tāne pakeke, he tangata whanake, ā, ka taea e ia te whakawhirinaki ki tana hoa me te noho haumaru i roto i tana whanaungatanga. He maha ngā wā ka raru ngā tama i te hae koretake, ā, ka whakamāramahia e rātou mā roto i ngā take tino wairangi.

I ētahi wā, kāore pea tōna māharahara e anga atu ana ki a koe. Tērā pea ka pāngia ia e ngā raruraru nui o te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, ā, ka karo ia i ngā whai wāhitanga ina tae mai. Ae, ki te mea ko ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro te take o te māharahara, tera pea he nui ake ngā take e pā ana ki konei. Ahakoa rā, me whakaae ia ki te āwhina.

4. Kāore ia i te tino whakatau

E hia o koutou kua pāngia e ngā hoa tāne e pōhēhē tonu ana? Mena he maha āna pātai mō ngā mea tino koretake, ngā mea noa, me pēhea e tumanakohia ai e ia te whakatau i ngā whakataunga nui, e whakarerekē ana i te ao? Ko te kore whakatau he rerekētanga mārama i waenga i te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne tūturu me te whakaipoipo i tētahi tama. He mea mārama tēnei. he tohu kei te piri koe ki tētahi tamaiti tāne.

Ko te tangata e mātao ana ina hiahiatia kia tū ake, kia whakatau, ehara i te pakeke, i te tangata whai kawenga. Ki te tika taua whakaahuatanga mō tō hoa, kua mōhio koe kei te taha koe o tētahi tama.

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5. Kāore ia i te pakeke i roto i ōna kare ā-roto

Ka ngenge koe i tana hiahia tonu kia arohia koe. He tangata whakarongo kino ia, he tangata kōrero nui hoki. Ka takaro ia i ngā kēmu kare ā-roto hei "whakamātautau" i a koe i ētahi wā, ā, ka riri ia ina kore ngā mea e pai ki a ia. Ko te whakamahi i te ure tāne he mea whakahē i tana ahua whakahihi. Ki te tirohia e tō hoa ēnei mea katoa, kua kitea e koe ngā tohu kei te piri koe ki tētahi tama, ehara i te tāne.

Ka kitea te rerekētanga i waenga i te tama me te tāne i roto i te whanaungatanga i roto i tana huarahi e whakatau ai i ngā mea e whakapataritari ana i a ia. Ka tangi rānei ia mō te miraka i maringi, ka pakaru ai tōna wairua me te wairua o te hunga i tōna taha mō te toenga o te rā? Kāore rānei ia i te mōhio tonu ko te mea me mahi e ia ināianei ko te whakatau i te mahi e whai ake nei?

Te pakeketanga o te ngakau Ka arahi pea tēnei ki te mauahara, kāore pea koe e mōhio kei te puea ake tō whanaungatanga. Ki te kore koe e pai ki te kōrero ki a ia mō tētahi mea i pā ki a koe nā te mea e mōhio ana koe ka pakaru tō rā i tana urupare, tera pea kei roto i tō hinengaro tētahi mea pēnei i te "He tāne taku e hiahia ana, ehara i te tama tāne".

6. E mōhiotia ana ia mō te mahi i runga i te hihiri

Ko tētahi o ngā mea e wehewehe ana i te tama i te tāne ko te kore e taea te whakaaroaro i ā rātou mahi. He nui ake te tūponotanga o te tama ki te noho mō te wā poto nei, ki te mahi i runga i ōna kare ā-roto, me te maka atu i te tūpato katoa ki te hau — he mea e kore rawa e mahia e te pakeke kua pā ki te uaua o te ao.

Ki te hokona e ia aua hū utu nui ahakoa kāore ia i te mōhio kei hea tana kai e whai ake nei, ka whakarērea e ia tana mahi nā te mea kua "oti kē" tana mahi, ka nui atu tana inu i tana e taea ai, ā, ka raru ia mō taua mahi, kei tawhiti tonu tō hoa i te noho hei tāne kaha, pono hoki hei whakawhirinaki atu māu mō te aroha me te tautoko.

7. Kāore i a ia te pumau ngaio

He maha ngā wā ka nekeneke haere ngā tama i waenga i ngā mahi, ā, i ētahi wā, kāore e rua ō rātou whakaaro i mua i te whakarērea o tētahi mahi me te kore e whiwhi i tētahi atu mahi. He whakaaro pai ā rātou mō te herekoretanga me te hurihanga. Ka tohe tonu ngā tāne, ka mahi i roto i ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga o tā rātou haerenga ngaio.

He mea noa, ka raru te hunga o mua i te kore pumau o te mahi, ka taea ai e tēnei te whakaoho i ngā whanonga kore e taea te matapae. Ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki te pouri i roto i te whanaungatanga.

8. He whakapehapeha nui tōna

Ko tētahi rerekētanga nui i waenganui i te tama me te tāne i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, he nui ake te aro o ngā tama ki ō rātou whakapehapeha i ō rātou hoa rangatira. Kāore ēnei tamariki e tuku i ō rātou whakapehapeha kia ngoikore, ahakoa te utu mō tō rātou whanaungatanga. He nui rawa atu ō rātou āhua tāne i tō aroaro, ā, e mau tonu ana tō rātou mauahara ki a koe, ahakoa he iti noa ngā take.

Ka whakatauhia e ngā tāne pono ngā māramatanga kore e mārama, me te kore e totohe, e ngangau rānei. Kāore rātou e whakamahi i te whakapehapeha hei whakanui i a rātou anō. I roto i te tautohetohe mō ngā āhuatanga o te tama me te tāne, ka kite pinepine koe i te ngana o te tama ki te kī anō he "tāne" ia. Ahakoa kāore e hiahiatia ana e ngā tāne pakeke te kī, engari e whakaatu noa ana rātou he "tāne" rātou.

9. He uaua ki a ia tō hinengaro

Ko tētahi atu rerekētanga i waenganui i te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne tūturu me te whakaipoipo i tētahi tama, ko te mea ka whakanuia e te tāne tuatahi ō whakaaro, ka maioha hoki ki ō kare ā-hinengaro, ā, ka mahi ki te whakatū te whanaungatanga hinengaro i roto i te hononga.

Engari, he uaua ki te tama te whakaae he whakaaro motuhake tō te wahine e noho tahi ana rāua. Ki te mea he maha ngā wā ka whakaaro koe kāore tō whakaaro e whai uaratia ana, ka kitea rānei koe e te nuinga o ngā kōrero whakahihi, he riri, he pea nā te mea he tama noa iho tō hoa kāore e taea te whakahaere i tō hinengaro.

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10. He tangata hiahia nui ia i roto i te moenga

Mena ko ana mahi katoa mō te ngahau me ana hiahia te take o ō haerenga moepuku, he pono kei te taha koe o tētahi tama e nui ana ngā mea hei ako māna mō ngā whanaungatanga me te whanaungatanga piripono. E mōhio ana te tāne tūturu he ara e rua ngā taha o te moepuku, ā, he rite te hiranga o tō makona ki tāna. Ko te rerekētanga i waenga i te tama me te tāne i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka kitea mārama i roto i te rūma moe, me tana whakanui i ō kare ā-roto me ō hiahia.

Nō reira, ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, arotakehia anō ō whiringa i mua i te tomuri rawa. Ki te kore, kia maumahara ki ēnei tohu i a koe e whakaipoipo ana kia tino mohio ai ko te tāne o ō moemoeā he tāne tūturu.

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