Te Whakatau i te Hae i roto i ngā Hononga Polyamorous

He uaua te whakahaere i te hae, inā koa i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Ahakoa he mea maori te hae ina nui ake te aro o tō tātou hoa ki tētahi atu i a tātou, he mea whakama hoki te whakaaro pērā. I te taha o te whakaaro hē kāore e tika kia hae te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga maha, ka nui ake te uaua o te whakatau i te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha.

He kare ā-roto tēnei e tika ana kia pā ki a koe? Me kōrero rānei e koe ki ō hoa? He mea noa iho tō tauhohenga, kāore rānei, ka whakahaweatia koe mō te mea kei te pā ki a koe ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki a koe? 

Ka taea e ngā pātai te whakangaro i a koe, ā, mā te kore whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka nui ake te tawhiti i waenganui i a kōrua. I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka whakamāramahia e te kaiako whanaungatanga me te whanaungatanga piripono Shivanya Yogmayaa (kua whai tiwhikete ā-ao mō ngā tikanga rongoā o te EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT, me ētahi atu), he tohunga ki ngā momo momo tohutohu mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ā, he wahine aroha maha hoki ia, e tuhituhi ana mō te huarahi e taea ai e tātou te whakatere i te hae i roto i te aroha maha. 

Me pēhea te whakatau i te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga maha

Kāore anō kia tino kitea, kia tino kōrerohia rānei ngā whanaungatanga maha-tāngata i roto i tō tātou hapori i tēnei wā. E maumahara ana ahau i whakatata mai tētahi tangata ki ahau mō te whakatūnga o tana whanaungatanga maha-tāngata. I hiahia ia ki te pātai mēnā he mea noa, he mea rerekē rānei, nā te mea kāore ia i te tino mōhio ki te whanaketanga o ngā whanaungatanga maha-tāngata. 

I kitea, i harikoa ia, me ērā atu wāhine i uru atu ki tōna āhuatanga. Nā te kore o ngā mōhiotanga i pātai ia ki te āhua o te whanaungatanga, ahakoa i noho tahi rātou katoa i runga i te rangimarie. Kāore ēnei whanaungatanga i rite ki ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera; whakaarohia he noho hapori. Ahakoa i roto i te whare, ā, kei te noho ngā hoa rangatira pērā i te whānau, he wairua whakahoahoa noa iho rānei. 

He wāhanga nui o te tukanga katoa te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha. He pakiwaitara te whakaaro kāore tēnei kare ā-roto noa e noho ana i roto i ēnei momo whanaungatanga. I te mutunga, ahakoa he takitahi tā tātou, he kore rānei e takitahi, he tangata tonu tātou.

Kei a tatou tonu ngā āwangawanga i roto i ō tātou whanaungatangaAhakoa he tuwhera tō tātou whakaaro ki te whakaae ki ētahi atu hoa, tera pea ētahi āhuatanga ka whakaiti i tō tātou hiranga, ka whakaiti i te rangona, ka whakaiti rānei i te kitea. Nā te mea kāore ēnei whanaungatanga e kitea whānuitia ana, e kōrerohia ana rānei, ka uaua te mārama me te whakatau i te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha. Anei ētahi mea me maumahara koe: 

Te pānui e pā ana: Ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i ēnei mea e iwa: Te tirohanga a te tohunga

1. Me aro te hoa

Tuatahi, me aro atu te tangata he hoa hae tōna ki te āhuatanga me te aroha. Me wātea rātou ki ngā kare ā-roto, me mārama, ā, me whakaatu hoki i te tuwhera ki te kōrero. 

Kaua e karohia, e whakahēngia, e whiua rānei tō hoa mō te āhua o ōna kare ā-roto. Engari kaua e meinga kia whakaaro rātou kei te nui rawa ō rātou whakaaro, kei te nui rawa ō rātou tauhohenga, kei te hē rānei ō rātou kare ā-roto, kia atawhai koe. 

Whakamahia ngā kupu aroha hei āwhina i te tangata kia mōhio kei te whakamanahia ia, kei te tau hoki. Me whakaatu e koe te pakeketanga, te ngākau aroha, me te ngākau māhaki ki te whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga. Mō ngā rā kei mua, kia kōrerohia me pēhea te āwhina i tō hoa kia whai wāhi atu, nā te mea ko tō whanaungatanga katoa kei runga i tēnā.

Me whakaae te hoa matua mō tētahi hononga maha. Me whakarite kua kōrerohia pai. Mā te whakatau matapōkere i tāu e hiahia ana ki te mahi, me te haere tonu me te kore kōrero, ka puta te hae, ā, he mea tika tēnei.

2. Ko te whakatau i te hae i roto i te polyamory me tango te mana whakahaere

Mō te hoa e hae ana, me whakahaere e koe ō kare ā-roto. Ō ake kare ā-roto, ō mea e whakaoho ana i te whanaungatanga, me te kore e māia ki te whanaungatanga. 

Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e ētahi raruraru me ngā mea e whakaohooho ana i a koe, ka pā mai ai te manukanuka ki a koe anō, anō hoki. Ko te tikanga, ka hua ake he pānga kino. whanaungatanga pana-tōNō reira, me whakamahi koe i ētahi tikanga, ā, me whakarite kia whiwhi koe i te āwhina o te kaiārahi, o te aroātahi rānei, mēnā he mea nui ki a koe te wikitoria i te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha. 

3. Kia mōhio ki ōu ake take

Kia mārama ki ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te raruraru; whakaarohia mēnā kua pā ki a koe i mua, tae noa ki tō tamarikitanga. Me tirotiro anō koe i roto i tō hinengaro me tō tinana. Ko te tikanga o tēnā, kei roto i ō tinana ēnei kare ā-roto, ā, ina puta anō ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te raruraru, ka rongo koe i te urupare kino a tō tinana, ahakoa he rite tonu. 

Hei tauira, ki te mea te hoa e haere ana rāua ki te mātakitaki kiriata, ka tīmata te hoa hae ki te manukanuka, ki te riri, ki te pouri rānei. Ki te tīmata te hoa ki te kōrero ki tētahi mō te wā roa, ka pāngia pea rāua e ngā huringa ōrite i roto i te tinana me te hinengaro. 

Mā te mārama ake ki te pūtake o te hae, me te mōhio ki ngā mea e tupu ana i tēnei wā, ka taea e koe te kimi huarahi hei whakatau i tēnā. Ka kiia tēnei he "kite i ngā kare ā-roto". Ko te tikanga, me aro nui ki ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto. Ka meinga e au aku kiritaki kia maumahara ki ngā mahara katoa e puta ake ana, ā, ka ngana kia kite rātou i te mea pono, kaua ki te mea i puta i taua wā tonu.

4. Mahi ki ō āwangawanga 

Ko ngā hae katoa i ahu mai i te koretake o te whakaaro, me te he iti te kiritauTērā pea nā te mea he tuākana, he tuākana rānei ōu, ā, he maha ngā wā i whakaritea ai koe. Tērā pea kua whakarērea koe e ō mātua, tērā pea he nui ake te pūkenga o tētahi i tō taha. Nō reira, tērā pea kua tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kāore rātou i te pai. 

Nā taua kare ā-roto, kei te āwangawanga koe kei tangohia tō tūranga e tetahi. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro me pēhea e taea ai e ngā hoa rerekē te whakanui ake i te harikoa o tō hoa matua i a koe. Tērā pea ka ara ake ngā pātai pēnei i te, "He nui ake āna mahi māu i taku e taea ai? He pai ake tana aroha ki a koe? He nui ake tō harikoa i ahau i a rātou?".

Ka puta ake ēnei momo whakataurite i roto i te hinengaro o te katoa, he mea noa te whakaaro pēnei. Ina mārama koe, ina kī atu ki a koe anō, "Ko au ko au, koinei taku e taea te hoatu ki a koe, koinei taku e taea ai te noho tahi me koe, ā, me nui tēnā", ka heke te hiahia ki te whakataurite. 

Kia tīmata koe ki te whakatika i ō rātou āwangawanga mā te whakaae ki a rātou anō mō ​​tō rātou āhua me tō uara, ka māmā ake te kore e mataku i ngā hoa o tō hoa.

Te pānui e pā ana: He Kōrero mō te Hononga Polyamorous: Ngā Kōrero ki tētahi Polyamorous

5. Whakamanahia ō ake tauhohenga 

Ina pāngia koe e te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga maha-tāne, kāore pea koe e mōhio mēnā he mea noa ō kare ā-roto. Ko tētahi o ngā mahi tino nui i roto i te aro ki te hae i roto i te polyamory ko te whakamana i ō ake kare ā-roto. 

Hei mahi i tēnā, me kimi e koe mēnā kei te nui rawa ōu tauhohenga. Kimihia ngā take o ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto. Werohia rātou, pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā he pono kei muri i ō whakaaro. He tika ō kare ā-roto? He pono kei te whakaiti tō hoa i a koe, kei te whakaiti i tō hiranga? He pono kāore rātou e pai ki te noho tahi me koe? Kia whakautua ponotia e koe aua pātai, ka mōhio koe mēnā he tika tō tauhohenga, kāore rānei.

He mea nui kia maumahara koe kaua e whakaaro pōhēhē i roto i ō whakautu. Ngāna hoki kia whakaatu i te aroha ki roto i tō whanaungatanga. Kei te pukumahi tō hoa nā ngā whakamātautau, nā te mahi rānei, kei te hanga hononga hou rānei rāua, ā, kāore koe i te taunga ki tēnā?

6. Kia pukumahi koe ki a koe anō

Ina pukumahi tō hoa ki ētahi atu tāngata, ka taea e te polyamory te noho pōuri. He mea nui kia whakarite kei te pukumahi tonu koe. Ka taea e koe te noho tahi me ngā hoa, te tīmata i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou, te whakawhanake i tō tuakiri, te kimi i tō mana. Mā te kimi i a koe anō i waho o te whanaungatanga ka whakamana i a koe, nō reira ka mahi anō koe ki te whakatika i tō pōuri. 

Nō reira, ka iti iho anō hoki te whakawhirinakitanga kare ā-roto ki tō hoa matua. Nō reira, kāore te wehi kei ngaro tēnei hoa e whakararuraru i a koe. 

Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

7. Kōrerohia me te kore e whakapae 

Ae, ina pāngia koe e te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha, tera pea ka puta he pahūtanga o ngā kare ā-roto. Heoi, ki te mea kei te wikitoria koe i te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha, te whakawhitiwhiti tōtika he mea tika. 

Kōrerohia ō kare ā-roto, kaua e whakapae i tētahi, kaua hoki e whakanui i tō reo. Noho tahi me ō kare ā-roto, ka kī atu ki tō hoa, "E kore au e pai ki te kore koe i konei, ā, e kore au e tino hira ina whiriwhiri koe ki te noho tahi me tētahi atu tangata i taku e hiahia ana kia noho koe." 

Whai muri i tēnā, pātaihia he pātai kāore e rite ki te whakapae. "E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakapau i te wā ki a koe. Me pēhea tāua e whakarite ai i te wā me te wāhi mō tāua anō? He aha te mea ka taea e tāua te mahi hei āwhina i ahau kia whai wāhi atu ahau?" 

8. Whakatakotoria ngā ture 

He ture kei ia whanaungatanga maha-aroha e whakaaetia ana e te katoa. Ki te kore he ture, he rohe rānei, ka pakaru te whanaungatanga, ka tūpono, ka kore rānei e taurite. Pērā i ngā herenga me ngā herenga o te marena, me whai hoki ngā whanaungatanga maha-aroha i ētahi. 

Ehara i te whakaaro pai te whakaaro kei te mārama koe ki ngā mea e tumanakohia ana, me ngā mea kāore e tumanakohia ana nā te mea kei roto koe i tētahi hononga maha-tāne, he rerekē pea ngā taumata o te tuwhera. Tērā pea kāore ētahi e māharahara ki te noho tahi a ō rātou hoa me te ira tangata kotahi, engari tera pea he raruraru ki ētahi. 

Nō reira, i te wā e pā ana ki te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha, he mea nui kia kōrerohia ngā rohe me ngā ture kia kore ai tetahi e whakaaro kua whakaekea, kua whakahaweatia, kua takahia rānei. 

9. Kia tika te tūnga o ō tikanga matatika

Ina oma te tangata ki te whanaungatanga maha, ki ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera rānei nā te mea Tuhinga o mua, te wehi kei ngaro, te wehi kei ngaro te herekoretanga, te wehi kei tango kawenga, te wehi kei whakarērea, me tūpato rātou. 

I roto i aua āhuatanga, ka huri te whanaungatanga hei mea whakangaro i a ia anō, hei mea tinihanga, hei mea whakahaere hoki. Kātahi ka puta ngā "kaitākaro" i roto i te whanaungatanga, kaua ko ngā hoa aroha tūturu. Ā, ka ngaro te aroha. 

E ai ki taku whakamārama, ko te polyamory he "noho me te aroha mai i te ngākau, ehara i te homoni". Ko te nuinga o te wā, ka akiakihia te tangata e ō rātou hiahia homoni ki te whai hoa hou i raro i te tapanga polyamory. Engari, kei roto, me uru rānei te aroha, te whakawhirinaki, te ngākau aroha, te aroha, me te kawenga. 

E whakaaro ana pea tātou kua oti kē te marena maha i ēnei rā, engari ko te pono he nui ake ngā uauatanga o tēnei whanaungatanga i ngā whanaungatanga kotahi tāne. Kei te noho tahi koe me te tini o te tangata, me taurite koe ki ō rātou wā, ki ō rātou āhua, nō reira he māmā noa te kite i te nui o te hae i roto i te marena maha. 

Mā te āwhina o ngā kōrero kua whakarārangihia e au, ko te tumanako ka māmā ake te whakatau i te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga maha. Kia maumahara, he mea noa ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki a koe, ā, ko te tango i te mana whakahaere te taahiraa tuatahi. 

Ka taea e te hae hauora te āwhina i a koe ki te hanga whanaungatanga kaha ake?

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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