Ngā Here Ira Tangata: Te Tikanga, Ngā Tohu, Me Ngā Tohutohu Hei Wehe

Kua tino ngenge koe i muri i te moe tāne me tetahi? Kua huakina rānei e te whanaungatanga moe tāne me tetahi ngā tatau mō te hononga kare ā-roto hōhonu? Mena ko te whakautu he āe, koinei pea ngā tohu kei te hanga hononga wairua koe. Hei ruku hohonu atu ki ngā hononga wairua moe tāne me te whakawhitiwhiti i te kaha wairua i te wā moe tāne, i kōrero mātou ki te kaiako whanaungatanga me te tohunga whetū a Nishi Ahlawat , he tohunga ki te tātai tau me te pānui tarot.

He aha ngā here ā-ira?

I roto i tana whakamārama i ngā hononga ā-ira tangata, e kī ana a Nishi, "He hononga ā-ira tangata kei waenganui i a Māte rāua ko Hine-tāne, e taea ai e tātou te kite i te kaha o te hononga wairua ā-ira tangata i waenganui i a rāua." Engari me pēhea te hononga o ngā wairua e rua i muri i te moe tāne? Kāore pea koe e mōhio ki tēnei engari ka whakawhitiwhitihia te kaha i te wā moe tāne, ehara i te mea i te taha tinana anake, engari i ngā taha hinengaro, kare ā-roto, me te taha wairua hoki. Tērā pea ka tupu tēnei me te hoa o nāianei, te hoa tāne o mua, te hoa wahine o mua rānei, tae atu ki tētahi atu e moe tāne ana koe.

Arā, mā te moe tahi me tētahi atu ka arahi pea ki tētahi hononga wairua hohonu ake pērā i ngā hononga moepuku. Tērā pea ka hopukina/ka uru atu koe ki roto i te mamae, te koretake, me te wehi o tō hoa moepuku mā roto i ēnei hononga moepuku, me te kore e mōhio. 

E kiia ana tēnei āhuatanga e te tohunga hinengaro, e Tākuta Daniel Amen, ko te Limbic Bonding. E mea ana ia, "Tērā pea ka whakatau ngā tāngata tokorua ki te moe 'mō te ngahau noa iho' engari kei te tupu tētahi mea i tētahi taumata kāore pea i whakatauhia e rātou: kei te whakarei ake te moe i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto i waenganui i a rātou ahakoa e hiahia ana rātou ki tētahi whanaungatanga kare ā-roto, kāore rānei."

Pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu o te Āhua Aukume i waenganui i te Tokorua

Ngā Tohu o ngā Hononga Wairua

Kāore te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata , te orgasm rānei, e arahi tonu ki te hanganga o ngā hononga wairua ā-ira tangata. Engari, ina moe tāne koe me tētahi, ka nui ake te tūponotanga o te hanga hononga wairua ki a rātou nā te mea kua honoa te tinana tinana ki te wairua wairua. I te nuinga o te wā, ka puta ēnei hei hononga wairua kino. Anei ētahi tohu kua hanga e koe he hononga wairua ā-ira tangata ki tētahi kua piri tahi koe:

1. Kei te aro nui koe ki a rātou

Ahakoa kua kī mai rātou kāore rātou e aro nui ana ki a koe, kei te mau tonu ō whakaaro/ngā kare ā-roto mō tētahi tangata? Kei te pāngia koe e te ānini, te mamae o te puku, te pō kore moe, me te kore hiahia kai nā rātou? Tērā pea koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kua whakatūria e koe he hononga wairua.

He hononga hohonu te here wairua ki tētahi e kore e taea te whakamārama (pērā i te miro ngaro/taura whakarite e here ana i te tokorua). Ko te tikanga kei te mau tonu tō hononga ki tētahi hoa moepuku, ā, ka moemoeā anō koe mō rātou i ētahi wā, ahakoa kua kore kōrua e noho tahi. Ahakoa te roa o te wā kua pahure, he kaha ake ō kare ā-roto mō tēnei tangata i ō kare ā-roto mō ētahi atu tāngata i roto i tō ao.

Tērā pea ētahi atu take mō ēnei herenga moepuku kaha. E kī ana a Nishi, "Tērā pea ko te awe o te pona raki o te marama i roto i te tūtohi o te tangata, ko ētahi raruraru whanaungatanga o mua kāore anō kia whakatauhia." Ka taea hoki te whai i te hiahia kino ki ngā āhuatanga o te tuakiri, te pānga o te tamarikitanga ki ngā whanaungatanga kino, ngā raruraru kāore anō kia whakatauhia ki ngā tāngata nui e whai wāhi ana ki tō oranga.

Pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Huarahi hei Kati i te Whakaaro nui ki tētahi

2. Kua tangohia e koe ō rātou āhuatanga kino

E ai ki ngā rangahau , ka tukuna te homoni here oxytocin i te wā e moe ai. Koinei te take ka pāngia ai koe e ngā hononga moepuku ki tō hoa. Mā te noho piripono ki te tangata kotahi i ngā wā katoa, ka mutu pea ka hanga he here wairua. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe kua awhi koe i ētahi o ngā āhuatanga kino o tō hoa moepuku. Nō reira, kia aro tonu ki te āhua o te moepuku i muri i te moepuku. Kei te pouri koe? Kei te harikoa/kei te hihiko rānei?

3. Kāore e taea e koe te tō atu

He aha te rerekētanga i waenga i ngā hononga wairua wairua, ngā hoa wairua, me ngā mura māhanga? E kī ana a Nishi, "He maeneene ake te haerenga a ngā hoa wairua ki te whakataurite ki ngā mura māhanga. Engari ina whakamahia e tātou te kupu 'here' hei whakaahua i te hononga wairua, ko te tikanga kāore tātou i te herekore. Kātahi ka huri hei whanaungatanga karma ."

Nā tēnei whanaungatanga karma, kāore e taea e koe te wehe atu i tō hononga wairua, ahakoa e mōhio ana koe kāore koe i te harikoa. Mā tēnei momo herenga kino ka roa ai tō noho, ahakoa kei te whakahaere/whakahaere tō hoa, ā, ko tētahi o ngā tohu matua o ngā hononga wairua.

4. E hiahia ana koe ki a rātou

Ko te hiahia nui ki a rātou (ahakoa he mamae te mamae o te aroha kāore i utua) he tohu pea tēnei kua hangaia e koe he hononga wairua. Kua mutu pea te moepuku engari kāore i te moemoeā kare ā-roto mō rātou. Tērā pea kei te mau tonu tō hononga wairua ki "te mea i mawhiti."

E kī ana a Nishi, "He maha ngā āhuatanga e pā ana ki te hiahia koe kia whakaaetia koe e tetahi - tō haerenga wairua, ō kaha moepuku, me te kaha o te kukume moepuku ki te tangata kē."

5. Kei te raru koe ki te hanga whanaungatanga hauora me ētahi atu

Ki te mea he uaua ki a koe te whakatū hononga hauora ki ētahi atu i muri i te moepuku, tera pea koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kua whakatūria e koe he hononga wairua. Kua tino piri koe ki tō hoa wairua (nā te hononga kare ā-roto) ā, kāore e taea e koe te neke atu i a rātou.

E tuhituhi ana a RC Blakes, Jr. i roto i tana pukapuka, Soul-Ties: Breaking the Ties That Bind , "Ko ētahi o ngā hua o ngā herenga wairua ko: te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō, te kore e taea te noho piripono tetahi ki tetahi, me te tirohanga hē mō te aroha."

Pānui e pā ana: Te āhua o te whakakaha ake a te huānga wairua i tā māua moepuku

6. Ka pāngia koe e ngā huringa kare ā-roto nui

Ki te kite koe i a koe anō e pāngia ana e ngā piki me ngā heke o ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki tō hoa moepuku, koinei pea tētahi o ngā tohu nui o ngā hononga wairua. Ka puta pea ēnei huringa kaha hei harikoa ina pai te haere o ngā mea, hei pouri nui rānei ina tūtaki ki ngā wero, ki te wehenga rānei. Ko tēnei raruraru kare ā-roto ina honoa ngā wairua e rua ka tohu i tētahi hononga kaha, hauora hoki e neke atu ana i te taha tinana o te whanaungatanga.

7. He hononga hinengaro tōu

Ko te hononga hinengaro he wheako i ngā kare ā-roto, ngā whakaaro, tae noa ki ngā kare ā-tinana o tō hoa moepuku, ahakoa kei tawhiti kōrua tinana. Ki te rongo tonu koe i ngā kare ā-roto, i ngā whakaaro rānei o tō hoa, me te kore e kōrero tika, tera pea he tohu tēnei i tētahi herenga wairua hōhonu, i tētahi wairua piripono rānei. Mā tēnei hononga e huri ana i te ao, ka uaua te whakatū rohe me te pupuri i te tuakiri i roto i te whanaungatanga.

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8. E ngenge ana koe, e ngenge ana rānei i muri i te noho tahi me rātou

Ki te mea kei te ngenge tonu koe i te hinengaro, i te tinana rānei i muri i te moe tahi me tō hoa, he tohu pea tēnei mō te hononga moepuku. Tērā pea ko tēnei ngenge te hua o te whakawhitiwhiti pūngao e puta ana i ngā wā piripono e hono ana ngā wairua e rua. He mea nui kia aro ki ō kare ā-roto i muri i te noho tahi me tō hoa, kia aromatawai ai mēnā he mea whakahihiri, he mea whakararuraru rānei te hononga.

9. Ka hoki tonu koe ahakoa ngā hua kino

Ko te hoki tonu ki tētahi hoa moepuku, ahakoa e mōhio ana koe he paitini, he kino rānei te whanaungatanga ki tō hauora kare ā-roto, he tohu mārama tēnei o ngā hononga moepuku. Ahakoa te mārama ki ngā hua kino, tera pea ka kitea koe e kukume tonu ana ki taua tangata. Ko tēnei whanonga e tohu ana i tētahi hononga hohonu o te kare ā-roto me te wairua e takahi ana i te whakatau whakaaro nui, e tohu ana i te noho o tētahi hononga wairua kaha.

I ahu mai te ariā o te wairua moepuku i te Karaitianatanga. E ai ki te whakamārama a te Paipera, ko te moepuku ka arahi ki tētahi hononga kaha, nō reira he mahi e whakatapua ana ki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua marenatia. E kōrero ana te Paipera mō ngā kupu whakaari a te Atua, ngā hononga wairua kino, me "ngā wairua e rua, te kikokiko kotahi".

Heoi, ko te whakakore i a koe anō i te herekore ki te tūhura i tō moepuku me te whakatutuki i ō hiahia moepuku tae noa ki te wā e mārena ai koe he ariā tawhito i roto i te ao o ēnei rā. He whiringa whaiaro te whakamātautau me te tini o ngā tāngata , ā, he whiringa tino tika. Ko tāu e taea ko te wawahi i ngā hononga wairua kino hei tiaki i tō mara pūngao me te whakaiti i te nui o te raruraru, ngā para kare ā-roto/wairua/hinengaro rānei kua kohia e koe i te huarahi. Ma tēnei koe e āwhina ki te neke whakamua me te hohou i te rongo ki ō wheako o mua.

Me pēhea te wawahi i ngā hononga wairua

I a ia e whakamārama ana me pēhea te whakakore i te here wairua , ka whakanui a Nishi, "Ko te murunga hara te taahiraa tuatahi ki te motu i ngā here wairua. Ko te tapahi i ngā taura kare ā-roto te taahiraa e whai ake nei. Kātahi ka tae mai te whakaae ki te mea kei te heke mai." Nō reira, tīmata mā te muru i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i whara, i tinihanga i a koe, i whakamahi kino rānei i a koe. Anei me pēhea te motu i te here wairua:

1. Whakaaroaro/inoi kia murua te hara

Hei taahiraa tuatahi ki te motu i ngā hononga ā-ira tangata, whakamahia te tikanga e whai ake nei i ia rā hei motu i tētahi hononga wairua kino, ā, hei whakatairanga i tō oranga ngākau:

• Noho marie me tō tuara kia tika
• Arotahi ki tō manawa, ka karanga atu ki ngā anahera/kaiārahi wairua mō te āwhina
• Whakaarohia te tapahi i tētahi taura/taura tūturu e here ana i a koe me tō here wairua.
• Whakaarohia he mārama mā o te aroha me te murunga hara
• Tangohia he manawa hōhonu, ka whakatuwhera i ō kanohi
• Kōrerohia tāu inoi tino pai, whakapuaki noa rānei i tō whakawhetai

Pānui e Pā Ana: He aha te Murunga Hara i roto i ngā Hononga, ā, he aha te Hiranga

2. Me pēhea te motu i ngā hononga wairua — Tapahia

Me pēhea te momotu i te hononga wairua ki tētahi hoa o mua? Whakatakotoria he rohe . Kaua e kite i a rātou, e tuku karere kuputuhi, e waea atu rānei. Kaua e whai i a rātou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori. Ka taea hoki e koe te karo i te tūtaki ki ngā hoa, ki ō rātou whānau rānei mō tētahi wā. Puritia tō porowhita hoa pono.

Me maka atu hoki ā rātou koha katoa, ā rātou taonga rānei e whakamahara ana i a koe ki a rātou. He mahi tino uaua tēnei, engari he mea whakaora te tahu i aua taonga. Mēnā rānei, ka taea e koe te koha noa atu. Engari, kati te mau i taua mataaratanga i hoatu e tō hoa o mua ki a koe, kati hoki te moe i roto i tana tīhāte.

Ko te whakaaro kia tīmata te wetewete i ō rātou kaha kino hei whakaora i tō wairua. Tukua tō hinengaro, tō hiahia, me ō kare ā-roto i ō rātou awe. Ki te hiahia koe ki te kōrero whakamutunga ki tēnei tangata, me mahi hei whakamōhio atu me mutu tēnei hononga kino kia kore ai koe e taka ki roto i te mahanga kotahi, kia kore ai hoki e mau tonu tō wairua.

3. Tuhia ō kare ā-roto ki roto i tētahi pukapuka tuhi

Ina pā mai ngā kare ā-roto pōuri, ā-roto pōuri, ā-roto kino ki a koe, tuhia katoatia ki roto i tētahi puka tuhi — He taunakitanga pūtaiao kei te whai hua te tuhi puka tuhi mō te manaaki i a koe anō me te tipu ake i a koe anō. Ka tino iti ake te here o ō kare ā-roto ina tukuna e koe ō kare ā-roto katoa ki tētahi pepa. Ka taea e koe te tuhi hei reta ki tō hoa o mua, kāore e hiahiatia kia tukuna atu e koe.

E ai ki ngā whakapono o ngā oranga o mua, he akoranga huna kei roto i te here wairua. Nō reira, tera pea ka taea e tēnei hononga here wairua te whai wāhi ki te ako, e whakaako ana i a koe ki te tuku i a koe ki te ao whānui me te tuku i ngā here moepuku kino. Mā te nui o tō tuhituhi i roto i te pukapuka, ka nui ake tō mārama ki te taumata hohonu o te mea e ngana ana tēnei wheako ki te ako i a koe, ā, mā reira ka āwhina i a koe ki te motu i te here wairua.

4. Hangaia tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō

E mea ana a Nishi, "He maha ngā wā ka whakamahia te kupu paitini hei whakaahua i ngā hononga wairua kino. Ā, he nui tēnā hei whakaatu i te pānga ka pā ki tō oranga. Ka taea e ngā hononga paitini te tino memeha i a koe i roto i ngā kare ā-roto, i te hinengaro, me te tinana." Ina mutu tētahi whanaungatanga, ka taea e ia te whakaiti i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, ā, ka kino pea koe ki a koe anō mō ​​tō oranga katoa.

Hei whakapono anō ki a koe anō, whakaitihia te kōrero kino ki a koe anō. Kōrerohia ngā kupu whakatenatena ki a koe anō mā te whakaū i ngā kupu pai . Whakakorikoria koe i a koe anō kia pai ai tō whakaaro mōu anō, me te wāwāhi i te here wairua. Tērā pea he kanikani, he haere ki te whare takaro tinana, he tākaro pēnitimana rānei.

5. Me pēhea te whakakore i te here wairua — Rapua he āwhina ngaio

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te momotu i ngā hononga wairua i roto i te ira tangata? Ehara i te mea ngāwari te rapu huarahi hei whakakore i ngā hononga wairua kino, ina koa mēnā ko koe anake te kaimahi. E ai ki te tohunga hinengaro a Sampreeti Das , "Ka taea e te rongoā te āwhina i te whakatau i ngā raruraru maha e puta ake ana i roto i te horopaki o te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga."

"Mā te whakaora hinengaro, ka whiwhi koe i ngā tirohanga hou, ka kitea ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ka mōhio koe ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe me pēhea te whakahaere i aua take, ā, ka ako hoki koe ki te tiaki i a koe anō me te wheako i te tipu whaiaro. Mā te tukanga ka taea e koe te whiwhi i te māramatanga whaiaro ake ki ō tauira whanonga, kia māmā ake ai te wawahi i aua take."

Mena kei te raru koe i ngā hononga wairua kaha e kore e taea e koe te wetewete i a koe anō, ka taea e ngā ratonga hauora hinengaro a Bonobology te āwhina i a koe i tēnei wā uaua.

Hei whakamutunga, ina whakawhanakehia e koe he here wairua ā-ira, kia mārama, kia tātarihia hoki mēnā he whanaungatanga hauora , he whanaungatanga kino rānei. Mēnā he here wairua hauora, haere tonu, kia tino wheakohia. Engari ki te mea he here wairua hauora, he paitini rānei, kia kaha ki te wehe atu i a koe anō, ki te whakakore rānei i taua hononga hei oranga mōu.

Ae, e mōhio ana mātou he mea kore e taea te whakamārama/te whakakapi i ngā wheako tahi me te hononga ā-tinana i pā ki a koe i roto i ō whanaungatanga aroha o mua. Engari mā te pupuri tonu i taua tangata, kei te aukati koe i a koe anō, kei te aukati hoki i ō manaakitanga. Ko te tumanako kua mārama koe inaianei ki te whakakore i te here wairua, ā, ka taea e koe te hanga wāhi mō tētahi whanaungatanga hou i roto i tō koiora.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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