Ka kōrero taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua i muri i ahau, me aha ahau?

"Kei te kōrero taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua i muri i ahau"—tērā pea ka waiho koe e tēnei mōhiotanga kia pōuri, kia manukanuka hoki. Ahakoa te kaha o tō ngana ki te noho mārire mō tēnei mea, te kī atu rānei ki a koe anō kāore he aha te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua, ka tangi aunoa te pere whakaoho ina kitea e koe kua kōrero tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua, kua tuku karere rānei ki muri i a koe. Ko te mea kua huna e ia āna taunekeneke ki tana hoa o mua i a koe, kua mahi rānei i tēnā i runga i te ngākau pouri, tera pea ka ara ake he kare ā-roto e whakamā ai koe mō te mea katoa.

I mua i tō mōhio, kei te hokihoki mai tō hinengaro ki ngā kōrero katoa e rongo ana koe mō ngā hoa tāne tinihanga. He mea whakamataku pea, e mārama ana mātou. Nā reira mātou i konei hei āwhina i a koe i roto i tēnei raruraru. I mua i tō whakaaro kino rawa atu, whakarērea ia, whakarērea tonutia, whakatā. E mōhio ana mātou he maha ngā pātai kei roto i tō hinengaro. He aha te take e kōrero tonu ai taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua i ia rā? E aroha tonu ana taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua engari e aroha ana hoki ki ahau; he aha te tikanga mō te heke mai o tō māua whanaungatanga? He aha ia i kōrero ai ki a ia i muri i ahau? He tohu kino mēnā kei te kōrero tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua? Kei konei mātou hei whakatika i ēnei pātai katoa.

He aha taku hoa tāne e kōrero ai ki tana hoa o mua i muri i ahau?

He miriona pea ngā take e kōrero ana tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua. Engari e mārama ana mātou he tino whakamataku, he tino whakarihariha hoki te kite kei te kōrero tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua i muri i a koe i ia rā. I tēnei wā tonu pea, kua whakaaro koe, "He aha te take e huna ai taku hoa tāne i tana waea?" Kātahi ka kitea e koe te take—kei te whakapā tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua, ā, kāore ia e hiahia kia kitea e koe. 

Ka ara ake pea ngā momo whakaaro katoa i tēnei, ko te nuinga he āhuatanga kino rawa atu, nā te mea kāore pea koe e mutu te whakaaro he aha ngā mea e kōrerohia ana e rāua. Engari ko ēnei āhuatanga kino katoa e puta ana i roto i tō hinengaro, tera pea ka kino ake te āhua o te āhuatanga i tōna āhua o nāianei, ā, kāore pea he mea nui hei āwangawanga māu. He aha te tikanga mēnā kei te kōrero tonu tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua? Me titiro tātou ki ngā take e pupuri tonu ana ia i te hononga ki tētahi kua wehe atu rāua.

• Ka taea tonu e ia te noho hei hoa pai ki a ia
• Tērā pea kei te pārekareka ia te takaro kino kore me ētahi aro ki te taha, kāore he tikanga nui ki a ia
• Kua puritia e ia ngā kōrero o mua, ā, e mau tonu ana te whanaungatanga nā te mea e pai ana ia ki a ia. Tērā pea kāore he aha e pā ana ki a ia.
• E aroha ana pea ia ki a ia engari kāore e aroha ana ki a ia
• Tērā pea kei te aroha tonu ia ki a ia, kua ara ake anō rānei ōna kare ā-roto mōna. Heoi, ehara i te mea ka whakarērea koe e ia kia noho tahi me ia.
• Tērā pea kei te rapu ia i te otinga
• Tērā pea kei te huna ia i te meka kei te whakapā atu ia ki a ia kia kore ai koe e manukanuka. Tērā pea he tika tonu ana whakaaro.

I kōrero mai a Abigail Wilkey, he kaipānui nō Ohio, ki a mātou, "Kei te āwhina tonu taku hoa tāne i tana hoa wahine o mua i roto i ngā huarahi e tiaki ai ngā hoa tetahi i tetahi. He hoa pai rāua e taea ai te whakawhirinaki tetahi ki tetahi. E mōhio ana ahau kāore he mea aroha i reira, nō reira kāore au e whakanui rawa i taua mea. Whai muri i te kōrero roa ki a ia, kua taea e au te mārama ake ki ō rāua āhuatanga, ā, kua poroporoaki atu ki aku āwangawanga katoa."

Ehara i te mea ka taea e te katoa te noho rite ki te āhua o Abigail, engari he pai te whai i tētahi huarahi pakeke ake, kaua e mataku rawa. Kāore e taea e te katoa te whakaae katoa ki te āhua o tā rātou hoa tāne me tana hoa o mua. Mena ka puta he āwangawanga, he riri, he manukanuka rānei i roto i ā rātou taunekeneke, kia mōhio koe he mea noa iho. Engari i te wa ano, me whakamahara koe ki a koe anō ko te noho mai o te hoa o mua ki te oranga o tō hoa tāne ehara i te mea he tohu kino mō tō whanaungatanga. He tohu kino mena kei te kōrero tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua? Kāore i te katoa. 

I ētahi wā, he pai pea te noho hoa ki tētahi o mua, te kōrero noa rānei ki a rātou i ētahi wā. Kia taea ai e koe te mōhio mēnā koinei te āhua o tō hoa tāne me tana hoa o mua, me mārama koe ki ngā āhuatanga o mua me o nāianei. 

Te pānui e pā ana Kāore anō taku hoa tāne kia muku i te nama waea a tana hoa wahine o mua, ā, kei te pōuri ahau.

He pēhea te āhua o tana whanaungatanga ki tana hoa o mua?

He pātai tino nui tēnei hei whakautu, nō reira kaua e whakahawea. I mua i tō tīmatanga ki te pātai i tōna pono ki a koe, tirohia te mutunga o ngā mea i waenganui i tō hoa tāne me tana hoa o mua. Mā te hītori poto o ana whanaungatanga o mua ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki tōna whanaungatanga ki a ia. Ngāna kia ruku hohonu ki a ia hei tangata, me te āhua o tana whanaungatanga i mua i tō urunga mai ki te pikitia. Kāore mātou e tono ana kia kaua e mātakitaki, engari e tono ana mātou kia tino mārama koe. Anei ētahi mea hei whakaaroaro māu.

• I roa rānei tō rāua whanaungatanga? He nui ake te haumi kare ā-roto ki tētahi whanaungatanga roa i tō tētahi whanaungatanga poto. Mēnā he roa rawa te wā i noho tahi ai rāua, kua tata tonu rāua tetahi ki tetahi. I ētahi wā, he uaua ki te whakarere i taua momo hononga. Ehara i te mea he take hei āwangawanga, engari he mea me mōhio koe.
• He whanaungatanga tō rāua i mōhiotia e te katoa? Mena he whānau kei roto, kia mōhio koe he tino hohonu te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a rātou.
• I nui te wera i waenganui i ngā whāriki i memeha haere? Mā te whakautu ki tēnei pātai ka taea e koe te hoatu ki a koe ngā mōhiohio kāore koe i mōhio e hiahiatia ana e koe
• Nā te aha rāua i wehe ai? He roa, he tere rānei? Pātai atu hoki, i nui te kati, kāore rānei? kore o te kati he take nui pea tēnei e hono tonu ai rātou
• He aha rāua i wehe ai? He momo rerekētanga rānei, he kore aroha, he tautohetohe werawera, he rerekē rānei ngā whāinga o te ao? Pātai atu ki a ia.
• Nā wai i wehe? Nāna pea i wehe rāua, koia te take e hiahia tonu ai tō hoa tāne ki te kōrero ki a ia.
• He aha ta raatau korero? Kāore koe e takahi ana i te tūmataitinga o tō hoa tāne mā te pātai i tēnei pātai. He mea tino maori te whakaaro ki a koe mō āna kōrero ki tana hoa o mua, ā, he tika tōu ki te mōhio ki te whakautu.

8 Ngā Mea Me Mahi Koe Mēnā Kei Te Kōrero Tonu Tō Hoa Tāne Ki Tōna Hoa O Mua

He uaua ki te whakaae ki te whakaaro "e kōrero ana taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua i muri i ahau". Ki te kōrero tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua i ia rā, i ia wiki, ka taea e ia te whakararuraru i ō mataku me ō āwangawanga. Mā te whakaaro noa ki taua mea ka porangi koe. Engari i mua i tō whakatau tere me te whakamutu, whakaarohia te noho me te aro atu ki te āhuatanga.

I kōrero mai a Sophia, he tohunga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ki a mātou, "I kite ahau kei te aroha tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua engari e aroha ana hoki ki ahau, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea te whakatau i te āhuatanga. I roa te wā i mua i taku mōhio kei te tuku karere taku hoa ki tana hoa o mua, ā, kei te teka hoki ki ahau mō taua mea. Engari i taku mōhio, ka kite ahau kāore anō ia kia neke atu, ā, me whakarērea ia e ahau. I tika kia mōhio ahau ki tēnei i taku kitenga he nui rawa ngā kōrero a taku hoa mō tana hoa o mua. Kāore au i te hiahia kia noho tonu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora. "

Mena kei te pōuri koe pērā i a Sophia, kei a mātou ētahi tohutohu hei whakatau i tētahi āhuatanga e whakapā tonu ana tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa wahine o mua. Ae, ehara i te mea harikoa te tuku karere a tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa wahine o mua, engari anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi mō tēnā.

1. Arotakehia koe anō

I mua i tō riri me te kī, "Kei te kōrero tonu taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua, ā, ko ia te tangata kino rawa atu o te ao!", whakaaroarohia. Ehara i te mea kāore ia i te he i konei, engari tera pea he wāhi anō tōu i roto i tēnei. He nui rawa te hae o tō whanaungatanga? Kua kīia koe e ētahi atu o ō hoa tāne he hoa wahine hae, he mea pērā rānei? He nui rawa atu rānei tō whakahaere i ō āwangawanga i ētahi wā? Ehara i te mea kāore ia e mahi he ana. Kei te kī noa mātou tera pea he wāhi tōu i konei.

I mua i tō whakatau ki te whakarērea ia, he pai ki te tātari i te āhuatanga me te whai hua. Tērā pea kei te nui rawa ō whakaaro. Tērā pea kua kōrero ia ki a ia kotahi, e rua rānei ngā wā, ā, kei te mataku koe nā tēnā. Mēnā koinā, me whakamātau koe. te hanga whakawhirinaki i roto i tō whanaungatanga kaua e manukanuka mō tō hoa tāne e kōrero ana ki tana hoa o mua.

2. Mātakitaki i ngā tauira whanonga

Ki te mea kei te pōhēhē koe i ngā mahi a tō hoa tāne, ā, ka whakaaro koe, "E kī mai ana ia e aroha ana ia ki ahau, he aha ia i hiahia ai kia noho tonu ki te whakapā atu ki tana hoa o mua", he tino āwhina te mārama ki te āhua o ā rāua taunekeneke. Nō reira, tīmata ki te aro ki te auau me te reo o ā rāua taunekeneke. 

Ahakoa he kōrero whakaute, he kōrero ā-wā, kāore pea e waiho hei take e manukanuka ai, engari ko ngā kōrero nui rawa, huna rānei, ka tohu pea i ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia. Kia mōhio mēnā ka whakararuraru ā rāua kōrero i tō kōrua wā noho tahi, ka nui rānei te kare ā-roto. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatata atu ki te take me ngā tirohanga motuhake, kaua ki ngā whakapae. Ā, mēnā he mea huna, he maha rawa rānei ngā taunekeneke a tō hoa ki tā rāua hoa o mua, he mea nui kia aro atu ki ngā take matua, kia kitea ai te huarahi whakamua. 

3. Korero ki to hoa mo taua mea

Ko te whanaungatanga hauora he whanaungatanga e taea ai e koe te whakapuaki i ngā mea katoa ki tō hoa rangatira. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te taumaha tō hinengaro i te tuku karere a tō hoa rangatira ki tana hoa o mua, i te kōrero rānei ki a ia i muri i tō tuara, me kōrero koe ki a ia mō taua mea. Mea atu ki a ia, "Kei te āwangawanga ahau kei te whai wāhi tonu koe ki te oranga o tō hoa o mua, ā, kāore au i te pai ki tēnā." Me kī atu rānei, "E mōhio ana ahau he kaupapa pākiki tēnei māu engari ko te tuku karere tonu kei te whakamā ahau. Me kōrero atu ahau ki a koe i ōku kare ā-roto mō tēnei mea katoa. Kia rongo mai koe i ahau i tētahi wā?"

Kōrerotia ō kare ā-roto ki a ia me te mārama, he wāhanga nui hoki tēnā o te te whakawhanake i te whakaute i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mea atu ki a ia kei te awangawanga koe i te pātai, "He aha ia i kōrero tonu ai ki tana hoa o mua?", ā, me kī atu ki a ia kia hoatu he whakautu pono ki a koe. He pai tonu te kōrero kanohi ki te kanohi. E kore e āwhina te whakaaro me te manukanuka kei te kōrero tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua. Me tīmata he kōrero, me te whakamōhio atu ki a ia te nui o tō pouri. Ngāna kia tirohia e ia te āhuatanga katoa mai i tō tirohanga, me te kore whakapae. Kia mahara, ko te raruraru anake ko tana kōrero ki tana hoa o mua, nō reira kaua e hono atu ki ētahi atu raruraru whanaungatanga, engari kia arotahi noa ki tēnei āwangawanga. Tērā pea, ina mōhio ia ki te kino o tēnei pānga ki a koe, ka whakaaro pea ia kāore e tika ana, ā, ka mutu tana kōrero ki tana hoa o mua.

4. Tirohia tana whakautu ina pātai atu koe mēnā kei te kōrero tonu ia ki tana hoa o mua

He tino pārekareka te kōrero mō ngā hoa o mua. Ki ētahi, mā te whakapuaki i ō āwangawanga ka mārama ake ngā mea, ka whakaiti i tō manukanuka. Engari ko te mea nui ko te mātakitaki i tana urupare. E kore te hoa aroha e whakakore i tō āwangawanga. Ka whakarongo ia, ka aro atu ki aua take. Me noho ngoikore koe ki a ia, engari me tūpato anō hoki.

Ki te mea kei te whakahē noa ia i a ia anō, kāore he whakaaro tuarua, he raru nui pea tēnei haki whero whanaungatanga E tohu ana tēnā me whakaaro anō koe ki te whai hononga ki a ia. Engari, ki te ngana ia ki te whakamārama i ngā mea ki a koe, ki te hiahia hoki ki te whakamārama, ā, ki te whakarite kia kaua koe e māharahara, tera pea kāore he pai o tana hononga ki tana hoa o mua. 

5. Kōrerohia tō whanaungatanga

Mena kei te raru te whanaungatanga, tera pea koinei te take e kōrero tonu ai tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua. Mena koinā, ehara ko te hoa o mua te mea e āwangawanga ana koe, engari ko tō whanaungatanga tonu. Kua tae pea te wā kia whakaarohia e koe te arotahi ki ngā raruraru whanaungatanga katoa kua huna e koe i tēnei wā katoa, ā, kia kōrerohia aua raruraru.

E kitea ana kei te rapu ia i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto i tētahi atu wāhi pērā i a kōrua e paheke anaKo tana hoa aroha o mua tēnei rā, āpōpō pea ko tētahi atu. Kaua e kī he tangata tinihanga ia, e whakaaro rānei, "Kei te tuku karere tonu taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua, kei te teka mai hoki ki ahau", whakaarohia te take i wehe kē ai kōrua, ā, kimihia he huarahi hei whakatika i te raruraru. 

6. Whakawhirinaki ki tō pūmanawa, kaua ki tō koretake

He rerekētanga kei waenganui i ngā kare ā-roto hauora me te hae koretake. Ki te mea he tino rerekē te āhua o tētahi mea, he mea tika kia tūhuratia. Heoi, kaua e tukua ngā āwangawanga o mua kia ārahi i tō tirohanga ki te āhuatanga. Ki te kore koe e tino mōhio mēnā he tika ō āwangawanga, whakaarohia te kōrero ki tētahi hoa pono, ki tētahi kaitohutohu rānei, kia whiwhi tirohanga whānui ai. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te wehewehe i te māramatanga mai i te āwangawanga, me te whakatata atu ki te āhuatanga kia mārama ake.

7. Kaua e hoatu he kupu whakamutunga ki a ia

Ina pā mai ngā pātai pēnei i te, "Kei te aroha tonu taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua engari e aroha ana hoki ki ahau; me aha ahau?" me te "E kī mai ana ia e aroha ana ia ki ahau, he aha ia i piri tonu ai ki tana hoa o mua?", ka pā ki tō hinengaro, he uaua ki te kore e aro mai i te wāhi ngoikore o te kare ā-roto. Heoi, ahakoa te aha e mahia e koe, kaua rawa e hoatu he kupu whakamutunga ki a ia mō tēnei āhuatanga. 

Ko te kī atu i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Kāore koe e kōrero anō ki a ia" me te "Me whiriwhiri koe - ko au, ko ia rānei?", ka nui ake te kino i te pai. Ki a ia, tera pea ka rite ki te whakahaere, ā, ka tīmata pea ia ki te te āhua e hemo ana i roto i te whanaungatanga kāore rānei e ngana ki te huna i ētahi atu mea i a koe hei pupuri i te rangimārie. Engari, e ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ake nei, ngana ki te kōrero whānui ake mō te mea katoa. Whakamahia he reo marino, me ngā kupu atawhai, ka kōrero ki a ia i ō kare ā-roto. Koinei pea te huarahi pai ki te whakatau i tēnei raruraru. Kāore he pai o tō riri, nō reira waiho atu mō tētahi wā poto.

8. Arotahi ki te whakapakari i tō hononga

Kaua e aro nui ki tōna hītori, ki tōna hononga rānei ki tana hoa o mua, engari whakamahia tō kaha ki te whakapakari i tō hononga. Ina rongo ngā hoa e rua i te mana me te haumaru, ka iti ake te hiranga o ngā whanaungatanga o mua. Whakamaherehia ngā mahi hei whakatata atu i a kōrua, pērā i te hararei mutunga wiki, te whakamātau tahi rānei i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou. Ka taea e ēnei wheako tahi te whakapakari i tō kōrua hononga, me te neke i te arotahi ki tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ko te hanga i te whanaungatanga piripono me te whakawhirinaki ki tō whanaungatanga o nāianei te huarahi pai ki te whakakore i te hītori. 

Thoughts Final

Ahakoa ka kitea e koe kei te kōrero tonu tō hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua, ngana kia ngawari ki a ia. Kaua e hohoro te whakatau i ngā mea katoa, nā te mea ka raru pea koe. pana atu ia mai i a koe. Me whai noa i ā mātou tohutohu, kia tata atu ai koe ki te kimi i te pono. Ā, ahakoa āna whakamārama katoa, kāore koe i te tino pai ki a ia e kōrero ana ki tana hoa o mua, kāore he aha. Ehara koe i te tangata tapu, ā, he maha ngā wāhine e kore e pai ki tēnei. Tukua atu ki a ia kia mārama, kia kite ai me pēhea tana whakautu.

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