Te Pānga o te Marena Kore-ira ki te Tāne – 9 Ngā Huarahi e Pā Ana ki a Ia

E tūmanakohia ana kia haere tahi te whanaungatanga piripono me te taatai. Engari ko te āhua o ngā whanaungatanga roa he maha ngā wā he tawhiti rawa atu i tēnei tumanakohanga, ā, ko te pono nanakia ko te memeha haere o te ngākau aroha i te roanga o te wā. He mea noa rawa ngā marena kore-ira tangata, ā, i runga i te taumata o te whanaungatanga o te tokorua me ngā take mō te korenga o te taatai, ka pā ki te heke mai o te whanaungatanga me te hauora hinengaro me te tinana o ngā hoa e whai wāhi ana. I tēnei rā, ka arotahi tātou ki tētahi taha o te whānuitanga kore-ira tangata, ka tūhura i te pānga o te marena kore-ira tangata ki te tāne.

Kāore e taea te whakakorekore i ētahi wā ka ora tonu ngā marena i te korenga o te hononga ā-ira tangata. He maha ngā take mō tēnā. Tērā pea ka ngaro te hiahia o te tokorua ki te moe tāne i muri i te whānautanga o ā rāua tamariki, i a rāua e pakeke haere ana, ka pukumahi pea rāua ki ā rāua mahi, ā, ka noho noa iho rāua ki te mahi uaua me te hihiri. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, kāore tetahi o ngā hoa e tino pāngia e te korenga o te moe tāne i roto i te marena.

Heoi, ki te hiahia te tāne ki te moepuku, engari kāore tana hoa rangatira, ka kino pea te pānga o te marena kore-ira ki te tāne. Me titiro tātou ki te āhua o te noho i roto i te marena kore-ira mō te tāne e mau tonu ana te hiahia hauora me ngā tirohanga mai i te tohunga moepuku. Tākuta Rajan Bhonsle (MD, MBBS Medicine and Surgery), Upoko o te Tari Rongoā Ira Tangata i KEMHospital me te Seth GSMedical College, Mumbai.

Ka taea e te tāne te ora tonu i roto i te marena kore ira tangata?

He aha te take e noho tonu ai te tāne i roto i te marena kore-ira tangata? E taea ana rānei e te tāne te noho i roto i te marena kore-ira tangata? Tērā pea ka ara ake ēnei pātai ina kōrerohia te take o te marena kore-ira tangata. Ko te pono, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua marenatia e noho tahi tonu ana me te kore e moe tāne tonu. Inaa, e ai ki te New York Times pūrongo, 15% o ngā marena katoa he kore-ira tangata, ā, ko te take o tēnei he kore hiahia moepuku o te tāne, he uaua rānei ki ngā raruraru pēnei i ngā huringa homoni, te ngoikore rānei o te ure. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te tikanga, ka iti ake te pouri, te noho pūmau, te riri rānei o ngā tāne i roto i ngā marena kore-ira tangata.

Ahakoa te kore o te hiahia moepuku, ina koa he hiahia moepuku tō tana hoa rangatira, ka whakama te tāne, ka pōuri, ka riri, ka raru rānei i te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō. Ā, ka arahi pea tēnā ki te maha o ngā raruraru whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ahakoa te pūtake mai, he pānga te kore moepuku ki te whanaungatanga. Heoi, ko te kaha o ngā tūponotanga o te marena kore ira tangata e whakawhirinaki ana ki te taumata o te oranga o te tokorua.

E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "I te wā e taitamariki ana te tokorua, i roto pea i ō rāua tau 20, he mea nui ake te taatai ​​i roto i te whanaungatanga mō rāua i te wā e 40 ana rāua. Koinei te wā ka nui ake ai ngā kaupapa matua pērā i te tamariki, te haumi, me te haereere. He pai ake te noho o te oranga taatai, ā, ka makona ngā hoa tokorua ki tēnā. Mena he rite tonu ngā hiahia taatai ​​o ngā hoa tokorua, kāore rāua e rongo i te momotu. He hototahi ā-ira rāua."

"Ka tīmata ngā raruraru ina he rerekē ngā hiahia o te tokorua – hei tauira, mēnā he nui ake te hiahia o te tāne ki te moe i tana hoa rangatira – ā, he mea tēnei." raruraru whanaungatanga noa. Ka taea tonu te whakahaere mēnā ka taea e te tokorua te kōrero māhorahora, me te whakatau i tētahi mea. Mēnā kāore he whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga, me whai momo whanaungatanga anō hoki, me whai hononga kaha hoki kia ora ai. Ki te kore e tika te whakahaere, ka taea te noho hei wāhi whakatupu raruraru pēnei i te mauahara me te nga take o waho. "

E ai ki te tohunga ira tangata, ka taea e te tāne te noho i roto i te marena kore ira tangata. Engari, kei te wā anō hoki ka kore ai e ira tangata te marena. He māmā noa iho, ko te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga kore ira tangata i te 30 tau, i te mutunga rānei o te 30 tau, he uaua ake i te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te 45 tau.

Te pānui e pā ana: Kei te hiahia koe ki te kōrero ki tāu wahine mō te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono? 8 Ngā huarahi hei mahi i tēnā

9 Ngā Pānga Tino Pai o te Marena Kore-Ira Tangata ki te Tāne

I whakaputaina ngā tatauranga mō te marena kore-ira i roto i tētahi tuhinga i roto i te Newsweek i tohu ko te 15 ki te 20% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e moe ana i te kore e neke atu i te 10 ngā wā i te tau. Ahakoa he kino pea tēnei auau mō te tangata he nui ake ōna hiahia moepuku, kāore e taea te kī he kore moepuku tēnei momo marena. I runga i ngā kitenga o tēnei rangahau, kua waiho nei hei tūāpapa mō te tautuhi i te marena kore-ira tangata, ka kiia te marena he kore-ira tangata mena kua neke atu i te tau te roa kāore te tokorua i piri tahi.

E ai ki te tohunga hinengaro rongonui, ki te kaiwhakaora whānau hoki, a John Gottman, he rite te whanaungatanga piripono ki te piripono e hono ana i te tokorua, ā, ki te memeha haere taua whanaungatanga, ka pā kino pea ki te whanaungatanga, tae noa ki te whakarere.

Inaa, a ako i kitea ko te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono, te korenga rānei o te oranga aroha te take e whakahuatia whānuitia ana mō te whakarere. Mena kei te hiahia tō tāne ki te moe tāne, ā, ko tō whakaaro kia haere mai ki te kaukau i te wai wera me te pani i te hinu whakamākū ki te mata mō te pō, kāti ka tīmata te puta o ngā pānga o te marena kore-ira ki tō tāne. Anei ngā huarahi e 9 e pā ai te marena kore-ira ki te tāne:

1. Te marena me ngā mahi moepuku kore

A ako E whakaatu ana ko te oxytocin e tukuna ana i te wā o te taatai ​​he āwhina ki te whakau i te hononga, inā koa mō ngā tāne. Ina kore he ira tangata i roto i te marena, ka tīmata pea te ngoikore o te hononga kare ā-roto o te tāne ki tana hoa rangatira. Ahakoa kua maha ngā wā kua whakamātauhia e ia, ahakoa kāore ia e angitu ki te whakaora i te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te marena, ka ngaro pea tōna manawanui, ā, ka rapu ia i te whakatutukitanga i waho o te marena. Ahakoa kāore i te rawaka ngā raraunga mō te reiti whakarere o te marena kore ira tangata, ka taea e ia te whakaraerae i tō whanaungatanga ki ngā take pēnei i te puremu, he mea uaua ki te whakaora i te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Tērā pea he moe tāne tō tāne, ka tūpono ai tō kōrua heke mai.

Ehara tēnei i te mea hei whakamārama i tana tinihanga, engari hei whakamārama i ngā tūponotanga o te marena kore-ira tangata. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ko te hoa e mau tonu ana ngā hiahia moepuku me ngā hiahia ki te moepuku, ka uru pea ki te moepuku i waho o te marena. Ko te hunga e whai ana i te ara o te kore whakapono ki te whakatau i ngā pānga o te marena kore-ira tangata, ka whakamahi pinepine i ngā "hiahia tika kāore i tutuki i roto i te marena" hei whakamārama mō te kotiti ke, ā, ka tukuna he wāhi kore hara ki a rātou kia haere tonu me ā rātou hara." Koia te take. ngā marena kore-ira e arahi ana ki ngā mahi moepuku he mea noa rawa.

2. Te mauahara i roto i te marena kore ira tangata

Tērā pea he pukumahi rawa te tāne i te mahi, ā, tērā pea kua ngenge te wahine i te mutunga o te rā i muri i te whakahaere i te mahi, te kāinga, me ngā tamariki, ā, ko te mea tuatahi e hiahia ana rāua ki te mahi i te pō ko te takoto ki te moenga. Ina ngenge rawa te tokorua, kāore e taea te whakaaro ki te mahi i waenga i ngā whāriki moe. Tērā pea ka whakamānawa tonu rāua i te moe mō te moe tāne, engari kāore rāua i te mōhio ka arahi pea tēnei tauira ki te... te tipu o te riri.

Tērā pea ka riri, ka pukuriri te tāne pukuriri, ka riri nui, ka tawhiti atu. Tērā pea ka ngaro tana hiahia ki te kawe i ngā kawenga o te kāinga me te mātua ki tana hoa rangatira. He pānga noa tēnei o te marena kore-ira tangata o te tāne. Nā tēnei ka riri te wahine nā te mea e whakaaro ana ia "kāore i te nui āna mahi". Ahakoa te kore e mōhio o te tokorua, ka horapa te pānga o te marena kore-ira tangata ki ētahi atu āhuatanga o tō rāua ao.

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kino o te marena kore-ira ka waiho koe haere i runga i nga anga hua manu i tō hoa rangatira, ā, i te mutunga, ka tawhiti atu koe. Ka nui haere tō tawhiti atu, ka iti ake te tūponotanga ki te whakaora anō i te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata. Nō reira, ko te noho i roto i te marena kore-ira tangata ka huri hei huringa kino e whāngai ana i a ia anō.

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3. Ka wehe kē koe i roto i te whanaungatanga

Ko tētahi atu o ngā pānga noa o te kore moepuku i roto i te marena ko ka wehe kē kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira. Mēnā kāore i te nui te moe tāne, ka kore pea e hiahia ki ētahi atu wāhanga o te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kāore tō hoa e hiahia ana ki te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a koe nā te mea kāore anō kia tutuki āna hiahia. Ki a ia, he pai ake pea te mātakitaki i ngā kiriata pakiwaitara i te noho tahi me koe nā te mea kua whakakahoretia tonutia ōna hiahia moe tāne.

Ka pāngia hoki te tāne e te marena kore-ira tangata. Tērā pea ka meinga ia e ngā āhuatanga o tēnei marena kia mutu tana marena. Nā te mea mō te nuinga o ngā wāhine, ko te hiahia moepuku e pā tata ana ki te hononga kare ā-roto e tohaina ana e rātou ki ā rātou hoa, ka taea e tēnei te whakaiti i te tūponotanga o te whakatika i tēnei raruraru uaua. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino mamae o te marena kore-ira tangata.

E whakaaro ana a Tākuta Bhonsle he maha ngā wā ka hē te mārama o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki ngā āhuatanga tūturu o te marena kore-ira tangata. "Mēnā he raruraru moepuku kei roto i te whanaungatanga ina he pai te mahi moepuku me te hiahia o ngā hoa e rua, ko te pūtake pea he mea hohonu ake. Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko ngā raruraru whanaungatanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia, te pakanga rānei, te riri, te pouri rānei kāore i te whakapuakina, te kore whakawhirinaki rānei," tana whakamārama. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kei te wehe kē kōrua ko tō hoa, ā, kei te mau tonu te riri i roto i tō whanaungatanga, mā te arotahi ki te aro ki te take matua ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatika i tēnei raruraru me te whakatika i tō hononga.

4. Kāore koe e kite i te herekore

He rerekē ngā huarahi e haere ai te whanaungatanga ngā wāhanga o te whanaungatangaKo te huarahi anake hei hanga i te whanaungatanga piripono me te te whanaungatanga hinengaro Mā te whanaungatanga ā-ira ka āwhina i a koe kia ora tonu ai mō te wā roa, mā te whanaungatanga ā-ira ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakau i tō hononga, me te whakatipu i te wairua piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ina heke te whanaungatanga ā-ira, ka noho te hononga i waenganui i te tokorua ki runga i te whenua ngoikore.

A ako i kitea ko te rerekētanga o te hiahia moepuku i waenga i ngā hoa ka pā kino ki te pai o te whanaungatanga. He pānga whakamataku tēnei o te marena kore-ira ki te here o te tokorua. He aha te take e noho tonu ai te tāne i roto i te marena kore-ira i roto i tēnei āhuatanga, tera pea koe e whakaaro. Āe, mai i te whānau ki te pāpori me te pūtea, he maha ngā āhuatanga ka taea te pupuri i te marena i roto i te kaupapa ahakoa te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono, engari kāore e kore ka whakaiti i te kounga o te hononga.

Ki te kore te tokorua e tīmata ki te whakarerekē, ki te kimi huarahi waenga hei whakatutuki i ngā hiahia moepuku o tētahi hoa, me te kore e pēhia tetahi atu ki te mahi i tētahi mea kāore rāua e hiahia ana, ka tino wehe kē pea rāua. Kāore e roa, ka kitea pea kōrua i roto i tētahi marena kore ira tangata, he āhuatanga rūma moe motuhake, ā, ka tere te heke o ngā āhuatanga mai i reira.

5. Ka taea e te kore-ira tangata te arahi ki te pouri me te riri

Ki te kore e tutuki ngā hiahia moepuku o te tāne i roto i tana whanaungatanga matua, ka ara ake pea he maha ngā raruraru whanonga me te hauora. ako e whakaatu ana ko te taumata teitei ake o te makona i te moepuku ka arahi ki te iti iho o te pouri me te manukanuka. E arotahi ana te rangahau ki te hiranga o te makona i te moepuku hei take whakarerekē i ngā take hauora hinengaro, inā koa i roto i te horopaki o te whanaungatanga aroha o nāianei.

A te oranga moepuku hauora ka pupuri i a koe kia ora tinana, kia ora hinengaro hoki. Ki te kore e whai hua, ka pāngia koe e te pouri, te riri, te ngoikore o te ure, te iti o te hiahia moepuku, me te hurihanga o te wairua. Koinei te pānga o te marena kore-ira ki te tāne. Ko Matt, he tāne 39-tau te pakeke nō Kanata, e kōrero ana mō te pānga o te marena kore-ira ki tōna hauora hinengaro. "I te wā tuatahi i noho tahi ai māua ko taku wahine, he mura ahi tō māua hototahi aiEngari i muri i ngā tau ruarua o te marena, ka tino rerekē haere ō māua whanonga i roto i te rūma moe. Ka whakakahoretia e ia aku tono, ā, nā te mea i whakakahoretia tonutia ahau, ka mutu taku ngana.

"I te nuinga o ngā pō, ka takoto ahau i te moenga, ka whakaaro, "He aha te take kāore taku wahine e aro nui ana ki ahau i ngā wā katoa?" Kātahi ka tahuri ahau ki tētahi hoa mahi mō te whakamarie, ā, ko te mea i whakaarohia he moe tahi mō te pō kotahi ka huri hei moe tahi nui. Ko te pouri moepuku i roto i taku marena me te hara o te tinihanga me te wehewehe i waenganui i te kore e whara i taku hoa rangatira me te aroha ki taku hoa moe tahi i arahi i ahau ki te taha o te pouri haumanu. Ā, ko te ara ki te whakaoranga he mea uaua rawa."

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6. Te pikinga ake o te ahotea

E ai ki te pūrongo i te American Association Psychology, mā te nui ake o te mahi moepuku ka āwhina i ngā tāne ki te whakahaere pai ake i te ahotea. Ka tukuna e te moepuku ngā homoni pēnei i te serotonin me te dopamine hei āwhina i te tangata ki te whakaiti i te ahotea. Koia te take ehara i te mea uaua ki te kite he aha i nui ake ai ngā taumata ahotea o ngā tāne i roto i ngā marena kore-ira tangata. Ka taea e tēnei ahotea kua taupokina te arahi ki ngā tohu o te marena kore-ira tangata pēnei i te whawhai pinepine, te ngangau, ngā raruraru riri, me te maha atu.

Ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ngoikore i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka whakanui ake i te momotu kare ā-roto kei roto i tō marena. Mena he tangata mārire, he marino, he tangata noho puku tō tāne i ngā wā katoa, engari inaianei kua riri ia ahakoa ngā mea tino koretake, ā, he poto tonu tana kōrero ki a koe, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu kei te pā kino tō marena kore-ira ki a ia.

7. E manaaki ana ia i a koe me te mea he hoa noho ia

Ko te pānga o te marena kore-ira ki te tāne ka ārahi pea i a ia ki te tīmata ki te manaaki i a koe me te mea he hoa noho tahi koe. Ko ngā hoa i roto i te whanaungatanga aroha he maha ngā wā ka uru atu rātou ki ngā oranga o tētahi ki tētahi, ka whakamahere tahi i ngā hararei, ka whakarite mahere mō ngā rā kei te heke mai, ka whakatau tahi rānei i ngā whakataunga mahi nui. Engari i te memeha haere o te taatai ​​ki muri, ka tīmata hoki te memeha haere o te wairua o te noho hei rōpū, hei kotahitanga.

Tērā pea ka mutu te whakaaro tetahi ki tetahi he hoa noho tahi e noho tahi ana i te wāhi kotahi engari he rerekē te āhua o te noho. Koinei tētahi o ngā pānga kino rawa atu o te marena kore ira tangata. Ina tupu tēnei, ka tere pea te mutunga iho o te marena kore ira tangata, te noho motuhake o ngā rūma moe. Kei te noho tahi kōrua engari ko ō kōrua kei runga i te toka te marena. Kāore e taea e koe te tīmata whakatika i te kino ki te kore koe e kite i te pūtake o ō raruraru - te kore whanaungatanga me te kore hononga - kia mārama ki ngā pūtake o aua raruraru, ka kimi huarahi hei whakatika.

8. Te hekenga o te hauora tinana

A ako whakaaturanga He pai te moepuku mō te hauora i roto i ngā huarahi maha, ā, he tino pai mō te hauora o te ngākau. Inaa, ko ngā tāne he pai te oranga moepuku, e kī ana hoki he pai ake te hauora o te repeure me te pūkahukahu, ā, ka taea e rātou te ārai i ētahi mate pukupuku. Ko ngā pānga o te marena kore-ira ki te tāne ka uru pea ki te hekenga o te hauora whānui nā te mea kāore ia e whiwhi i te makona tinana me te whanaungatanga piripono.

I a ia e kōrero ana mō ngā pānga tinana o te marena kore-ira tangata, e kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ina tangohia te tangata i tētahi mea e hiahiatia ana e ia, he mea maori noa iho kia pōuri ia nā te mea kei te pehi ia i tētahi hiahia tūturu. Tērā pea ka arahi tēnei ki ngā mate tinana, hinengaro rānei e puta mai ana i te ahotea pērā i te toto toto tiketike, te mate ngakau ischemic, te hysteria, te migraine, te mate puku, te psoriasis, me ētahi atu."

Ki te mea, mō tētahi take, kāore koe i te rongo i te hihiri ā-ira tangata, kāore rānei koe i te kaha ki te moepuku, he pai pea te whakamātau i ētahi atu momo whanaungatanga kāore e uru ana ki te moe tāne. Tērā pea rānei, ka taea e koe te whakauru i ngā taonga takaro moepuku me ngā mahi whakaari ki roto i tō whārite, kia kite ai mēnā ka āwhina tēnā ki te whakaara anō i te whanaungatanga kua ngaro. Mēnā kāore he mea kē atu, mā te whakapau kaha ka tino āwhina ki te whakamama i ētahi o ngā tohu o te marena kore-ira tangata, me te whakahoki mai i te rangimarie i roto i tō whanaungatanga.

9. Ngā whakaaro mō te whakarere

E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, ko te kore o te whanaungatanga piripono me te aroha tetahi o ngā take e whakahuatia ana mō te whakarere. Ahakoa kei te noho pōuri tonu te maha o ngā whakarerenga o te marena kore-ira tangata, ehara i te mea uaua ki te kī he nui te kore o te taatai ​​me ngā take maha e puta mai ana i tēnā hei whakakorikori i ngā turanga o ngā marena tino kaha.

Mena kua tirotirohia e te tāne ngā āhuatanga o te hinengaro me te kare ā-roto, ki a ia, ko te wehe atu i te marena kore-ira te mea tika. Mena kei roto koe i te marena kore-ira, ā, e wehi ana kei pā kino ki tō kōrua heke mai hei tokorua, whakaarohia te rapu āwhina mai i tētahi kaiārahi marena, kia kitea ai te pūtake o ō kōrua raruraru.

Ehara i te mea pai te tautohetohe ki te pātai "he aha te take kāore taku wahine e aro mai ana ki ahau"? Ko te kore o te whanaungatanga moepuku he mea tino pā kino ki ngā tāne, inā koa ko rātou te hoa e hiahia ana ki te moepuku i roto i te hononga. Ahakoa kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakamahi i te moe aroha Hei whakamarie noa i ngā hiahia o tāu tāne, ehara i te mea whakaaro nui te waiho noa i tēnei take kia kaua e arohia.

I te nuinga o te wā, ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te ara ake i te rua pōuri o te marena kore-ira tangata me te āwhina me te arataki tika. Ki te mea kei te raru tō marena nā te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono, ka taea e te rapu tohutohu ngaio te āwhina nui ki a koe. Ki te mea he āwhina tāu e rapu nei, me rapu koe i ngā kaiārahi mohio me ngā tohunga. Te rōpū tohunga o Bonobology kei konei mo koe.

FAQs

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.