11 Ngā Huarahi mō te Whakaipoipo ki ngā Wahine Pakeke | Kia Ātaahua

E ai ki a rātou, ka koroheke te wahine, pērā i te waina pai. Tērā pea koinei te take i kukume ngaro ai te nuinga o ngā tāne taitamariki ki ngā wāhine pakeke. Mēnā ko koe tētahi o rātou, kei te whakaaro pea koe me pēhea te whakatau i tēnei momo aroha. Me pēhea te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke me te kore e kitea he tangata whakarihariha, he tangata whakahē rānei? Ā, he aha ētahi pātai takaro hei pātai atu ki tētahi wahine pakeke e kore ai ia e mataku?

He mea nui kia whakautua ēnei pātai mēnā kāore koe e hiahia kia mutu ki tana rārangi aukati. Ko ngā whakautu ngā mea e tukuna atu ana e mātou. I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka whakarārangihia e mātou ngā tohutohu 11 mō te whai hua ki te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke, me te tautoko i ngā tohutohu whai hua me ngā tohutohu āwhina mai i ngā tohunga hinengaro. Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te CBT, REBT, me te kaiārahi mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Pānuihia kia kitea ai me pēhea te kōrero ki tētahi wahine pakeke me te ātaahua.

Me pēhea te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke — 11 ngā huarahi hei hanga i te āhua ngāwari

Nā, e hia ngā wā e takaro ana ngā tāne taitamariki ki ngā wāhine pakeke? Āe, ki te titiro tātou ki ngā mea o nāianei ngā ia i roto i ngā whanaungatanga rerekē te tau, te āhua nei kei te tino rongonui haere te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te wahine pakeke me te tāne taitamariki. Ko tēnei Reddit kaiwhakamahiHe māramatanga whakamere tā te wheako o 's mō te take o tēnā. E mea ana ia, "Āe. He maha ngā hoa aroha i mua, ā, i te wā i piri tahi ai ahau me ētahi wāhine pakeke ake i waenganui/mutunga o ō rātou tau 20 me te tīmatanga/waenganui o ngā tau 30 i ahau e 18/19 me te tīmatanga o ngā tau 20. He nui ngā mea i akohia e rātou ki ahau, ā, i ako hoki ahau ki te whakamanawareka i tētahi wahine me te kōrero. I aroha ahau ki tēnā. He maumaharatanga ataahua." 

He mārama, he take e kukume ana ngā tāne taitamariki ki ngā wāhine pakeke. Engari me he rite nga wahine pakeke ki nga tane teinaĀe, kaua e manukanuka. Ahakoa kua maha atu ngā raumati kua pā ki ngā wāhine pakeke i a koe, ehara i te mea kāore rātou i te taea e koe, e tama! Ko tāu noa he tākaro tika i ō kāri, me ako koe ki te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke me te ātaahua. Hei āwhina i a koe ki tēnā, kua whakarārangihia e mātou he 11 ngā whakaaro āwhina mō te kōrero ngāwari ki ngā wāhine pakeke:

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaipoipo i tētahi Wahine Pakeke: Ngā Painga, Ngā Wero, me ngā Tohutohu hei Whakaoti i te Hua

1. Whakakatakata me te māia

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kī atu ki tētahi wahine pakeke e hiahia ana koe ki a ia, ko te māia te hoa nui rawa atu. E kī ana a Nandita, "Me āta titiro, me tino māia hoki ngā tāne taitamariki ki a rātou anō." Ka tohaina hoki e ia ētahi tohutohu hei whakamahi. ngā tohutohu mō te whakaipoipo me te māia ki te hopu i te aro o ngā wāhine pakeke:

• Kaua e mataku. Whakaharatauhia te manawa hōhonu hei whakamarie i ō io.
• Kaua e mangere ki te pātai, ki te whakapuaki rānei i ō whakaaro. He tohu tēnei i te kore o te māia ki a koe anō, ā, ka ārai i tō kaha ki te waiho i tētahi whakaaro pai. 
• Whakarongo mārire ki ōna whakaaro, ā, me haere tonu te kōrero i runga i tēnā

I tīmata taku hoa, a Anita, he ahorangi 45-tau te pakeke, i tētahi aroha pūmau ki tētahi tauira taitamariki kei roto i ōna tau 20 i ētahi marama kua pahure ake nei, ā, kei te noho tahi tonu rāua. I taku pātai atu ki a ia he aha te mea i kukume i a ia ki a ia, ka whakamārama ia, "I aroha ahau ki tōna maia me te āhua kāore ia i meinga ahau kia rongo i te rerekētanga tau i a māua e taunekeneke ana."

2. Kia mau tonu te whakapiri kanohi

on whakapā kanohi He mea nui tēnei ina hiahia koe ki te kukume i ngā wāhine pakeke ātaahua, i tētahi atu wahine rānei. He huarahi whai mana tēnei mō te whakaipoipo kore-waha. E whakaatu ana tēnei he tino hiahia koe ki a ia, ā, he māia, he maia hoki koe ki a koe anō. Ko tā Nandita tohutohu, "Tirohia ia i a koe e kōrero ana, engari kaua e titiro matatau ki a ia, kei kore pea ia e pai ki tēnā. Akohia te whakataurite i te titiro kanohi." 

Koinei te mea i kukume i a Bella, he hoa mahi nōku, ki tana kaiako whare takaro, he tekau tau te iti iho i a ia. I te tata ki te 30 o ōna tau inaianei, i aroha a Bella ki te titiro kanohi o tana kaiako whare takaro 28-tau te pakeke ki a ia i ia wā e āwhina ana ia i a ia ki te whakakorikori tinana. I tīmata te ngahau i te titiro atu a Bella ki a ia, me te tohu kei te pai ia ki tana mahi. Kāore i roa, ka tono ia ki a ia kia haere tahi, ā, kua tata nei rāua te whakaipoipo.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaipoipo i ngā Wahine Pakeke – Taku Aroha ki te Tari me tētahi Tāne Rangatahi

3. Ataata mārie

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kī atu ki tētahi wahine pakeke e hiahia ana koe ki a ia? Anei te mea ngaro ki te whakaipoipo pakeke—ataata mārie. Whakamātauria, ā, e kore rawa koe e uaua ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine pakeke. Ko tētahi ataata pono engari he ataata nui kei roto i ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe. ngā mea e kukume ana i te wahine ki te tāneE mea ana a Nandita, "Ātaata i a koe e kōrero ana, e taunekeneke ana rānei. He huarahi pai te ataata whakawai hei tīmata i tētahi hononga piripono, motuhake rānei i waenganui i a kōrua. Ā, ki te waimarie koe, ka kite koe i ngā tohu e hiahia ana tētahi wahine pakeke ki a koe."

4. Whakamihi atu ki a ia

Ko te whakaipoipo ā-waha te otinga mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te kōrero ngāwari ki ngā wāhine pakeke ātaahua. I taua taha, kāore he mea e rite ana ki te whai huatanga o ngā mihi pono, ngākau nui. He whakatūpato a Nandita, "Engari kaua ngā mihi e horapa ki te whakapatipati." Ka tāpirihia e ia ētahi tohutohu mō te whakamoemiti ki tētahi wahine pakeke:

• Kia tino pono, kia pono hoki ō mihi
• Kaua e kōrero noa i ngā kupu whakamihi pēnei i te "Tino ataahua koe i tēnei rā!"
• He mea whakamiharo ngā mihi motuhake pēnei i te "He tino pai ki ahau te āhua o tō kata", "He mihi nui ki a koe mō te whakatutukitanga o ō whāinga katoa i te 40 tau", "He tino pai ki ahau te āhua o tō whakapaipai i tō makawe"

5. Kaua e kōrero mō te rerekētanga o te tau

Āe, e mōhio ana kōrua kei reira tētahi rerekētanga tau i waenganui i a kōrua engari kaua e aro tonu ki tēnā. He tau noa iho te pakeke ina he pono te hiahia o kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Ki taku hoa, ki a Rhea, ko te hononga i kitea e ia ki tana hoa taitamariki he nui ake i ngā āwangawanga katoa mō te rerekētanga o te tau. 

Kua ora ake ia, kua ora ake i taku kitenga i a ia i ngā wā kua pahure ake nei, nā te mea kāore rāua e whakatere i tā rāua whanaungatanga mā roto i ngā tikanga me ngā tumanakohanga pāpori e pā ana ki te rerekētanga tau i waenga i ngā hoa aroha. E whakaae ana a Nandita, ā, i tohaina e ia ēnei tohutohu mō te kore e waiho kia nui te rerekētanga tau hei ārai i tētahi hononga pea:

• Kōrerohia te rerekētanga tau mēnā e pai ana ia ki te kōrero mōna.
• Ahakoa kei te kōrero koe mō taua mea, ka taea e koe te tāpiri noa i tētahi, i ētahi kupu rānei
• Kaua e aro nui ki te pakeketanga, nā te mea kāore e waiho hei raruraru mēnā kei te pai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, kei te pai hoki te noho tahi.

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Take e Hinga ai ngā Tāne Rangatahi ki ngā Wahine Pakeke

6. Whakakatakata me te whakaute

I a koe e ngana ana ki te whakaaro me pēhea te kōrero ki ngā wāhine pakeke, kia maumahara kāore he huarahi kē atu i te whakaute. Te whakaute me te rohe hauora He nui te mahi hei whakarite kia kore koe e whakapataritari, e kaha rawa rānei ina takaro koe ki ngā wāhine pakeke. Kia maumahara, he nui ake ngā wheako o te wahine pakeke i a koe, ā, tera pea kua whanake ake ōna kare ā-roto, kua rerekē noa iho rānei i a koe. Nō reira, he mea nui kia kaua e māharahara. Kei a Nandita ēnei tohutohu mō te takaro pakeke hei āwhina i a koe kia kore ai e hē: 

• Kia ātaahua te tīmatanga o āu mahi whakaipoipo. Ka taea e koe te whakanui haere i te kaha mena ka pai tana urupare. 
• Kaua e kōrero kino, kaua e kōrero kino, kāore he mea whakamīharo mōna
• Āta karohia ngā kōrero whakakatakata iti iho i te whitiki

7. Kōrerohia ngā kaupapa whakamere me ngā kaupapa o nāianei

He nui te aroha o te nuinga o ngā wāhine pakeke ki ngā mea whai tikanga, whai tikanga hoki nga korero hohonu ā, e kukume ana ki ngā tāne ka taea te pupuri i a rātou anō ina kōrero ana mō ngā take uaua, ā, e mōhio ana ki ngā āhuatanga o te ao. Mena kua roa koe e aroha ana ki tētahi wahine pakeke, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te kukume i a ia, ka āwhina tēnei tikanga whakaipoipo pakeke i a koe.

E mea ana a Nandita, "He mea nui kia whakaatu ngā tāne taitamariki i ō rātou mōhiotanga mō ngā kaupapa maha, kia kōrero nui hoki, ahakoa mō ngā hākinakina, mō ngā mahi tōrangapū, mō ngā waiata rānei." Me ako hoki ki te whakarongo kaha ki ngā kōrero a ngā wāhine pakeke, kia mōhio ai koe ki ngā mea hei kōrero i muri mai. Ae, tera pea ka nui te kaha o tō mahi, engari ki te tino hiahia koe ki te wahine pakeke e whaia ana e koe, ka tino whai hua te mahi. 

8. Whakauruhia te katakata

Kāore e kore karekau he wairua whakakatakata nui miharo ngā wāhineHe tino whai hua tēnei ina taunekeneke koe me ngā wāhine pakeke. E mea ana a Nandita, "Me ātaahua te whakakatakata, kaua e whakakatakata, kaua hoki e whakarihariha. Me rite te tangata ki ngā whakahokinga whakakatakata." Nō reira, kia tiaho mai tō taha whakakatakata mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te kite i ngā tohu e hiahia ana te wahine pakeke ki a koe. I taua wā anō, kaua e ngana rawa ki te whakakatakata. Kia tino whai kiko, kia whai horopaki hoki tō whakakatakata. 

9. Kia toa

He mea tawhito te āhua o te toa, ā, kei te tino onge haere i ēnei rā. Heoi anō, he maha ngā wāhine pakeke e maioha ana ki tēnei āhuatanga. Ki te hiahia koe kia kitea koe he hoa aroha pea, kua tae ki te wā ki te arotake i aua āhuatanga rangatira. Kei a Nandita ētahi tohutohu mō te takaro a ngā pakeke ki ngā wāhine pakeke ātaahua:

• Whakatuwheratia te tatau o te motuka i mua i tana urunga ki roto 
• Kawea mai he putiputi ki a ia
• Haere atu, taraiwa rānei i a ia ki te kāinga i muri i tētahi rā 
• Kia atawhai, kaua ki a ia anake, engari ki ētahi atu hoki e karapoti ana i a koe
• Mahia he nekehanga mā te whakamahi i ngā pā ngawari, pērā i te pa atu ki te ringa, kia kite ai koe i tana urupare, me te kite rānei kei roto ia i tōna rohe whakamarie.

Te pānui e pā ana: He tangata taitamariki ahau, he rerekē tōna āhua ki taku tāne.

E ai ki a Ashley, he whaea takakau nō California, e noho tahi ana me tētahi tāne e waru tau te iti iho i a ia, "I kawea mai e ia he putiputi ki ahau i te rā tuatahi, i tū ake ia ki te mihi mai i taku haerenga ki roto, ā, i pupuri i te tatau mōku i a māua e wehe atu ana. Ko wai te tangata e mahi ana i tēnā i ēnei rā? I tino miharo ahau ki a ia i muri i tērā."

10. Kia mau ki ngā tikanga tuku karere kuputuhi 

Ahakoa he mea noa te takaro karere kuputuhi i ēnei rā, me whakarite koe tikanga tuku karere kuputuhi whakaipoipo he tika. Ko tētahi o ngā ture tino rongonui mō te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke e kōrerohia ana e Nandita ko te karo i ngā kupu whakakatakata me ngā whakarāpopototanga i roto i ngā tuhinga. Kaua hoki e akiaki i a ia mō āna whanaungatanga o mua.

E mea ana ia, "He wahine kaumātua ehara pea i tō reanga, kāore pea ia e mōhio ki ngā reo hou. He hua noa iho tēnei o te rerekētanga o ngā reanga. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakapā atu ki tētahi wahine kaumātua mā roto i ngā karere kuputuhi, karohia ngā kupu whakakatakata me ngā kupu whakakatakata kāore pea ia e taunga ki te whakamahi."

11. Kaua e piri rawa

Ko tētahi o ngā ture koura i te wā e takaro ana ki ngā wāhine pakeke ko te kaua e whakapehapeha. Ko tā Nandita tohutohu, "Kia tū motuhake. Tīmatahia ngā karere kuputuhi me ngā waea. Engari kaua e nui rawa." Te piripono kāore e pai te haere. He pakeke, he motuhake te wahine pakeke, ā, e tumanako ana ia kia pakeke anō hoki koe.

Uiraa Ui Auau

Whakaahua Mō Ngā Tohu E Hiahia Ana Te Wahine Pakeke Ki A Koe

Nā, kua mōhio kē koe ki te toi o te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke, me pēhea e mōhio ai koe kei te hiahia te wahine pakeke ki a koe? Ā, me pēhea e kore ai koe e hē te pānui i ngā tohu? Me titiro tātou ki te rārangi o ngā tohu e hiahia ana te wahine pakeke ki a koe:

Thoughts Final

Ko ngā wāhine pakeke pea te rongoā mutunga kore mō ngā tāne taitamariki. Ahakoa he taiohi, he tāne rānei kei waenganui o te 20 me te 30 tau te pakeke, te āhua nei he ātaahua ngā wāhine pakeke ki te nuinga o ngā tāne nā ō rātou āhua ao, ō rātou wheako ora, me te ataahua. Ā, kei te tino noa haere ēnei whanaungatanga rerekē te pakeke. E pai ana ngā wāhine pakeke ki ngā tāne taitamariki? Āe, e tino pai ana rātou ina whakatata atu te tāne ki a rātou me te maia me te whakaute.

Engari mō te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke, he maha ngā tāne e mangere ana, e mataku ana kei whakapataritari i a rātou, kei hē rānei te mahi. Kāore hoki rātou i te mōhio ki ngā pātai takaro e tika ana kia pātaihia ki tētahi wāhine pakeke. Nō reira, ko te tumanako, mā ngā tohutohu 11 mō te takaro ki ngā wāhine pakeke kua tohaina e mātou i roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka whai wā koe ki te miharo i tētahi wahine ataahua, ātaahua hoki i tētahi rā. Kia ora koutou katoa!

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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