Te Wehe i te Aroha o tō Ora – 11 Ngā Mea Me Whakaaroaro Koe

Ko tā mātou e tino tumanako nei, kāore koe e wehe i te aroha o tōu ao. Kei te tautoko mātou kia mau tonu, kia whakamarie hoki tō kōrero aroha, kia rite ki tāu e hiahia ana. Heoi, he pōrearea, he uaua hoki te aroha, ā, i ētahi wā, me mutu te whanaungatanga.

Tērā pea kei roto kōrua i tētahi hononga ngoikore, ā, ka wehe i a kōrua e aroha tonu ana tetahi ki tetahi. Tērā pea kei te ngana kōrua ki te wikitoria i tētahi wehenga aroha pono, ā, kāore i te tupu, ā, kei te noho noa iho kōrua e whakarongo ana ki ngā waiata mō te wehenga atu i te aroha o tōu ao. (Ā, he maha rawa!)

He uaua ngā momo wehenga katoa. Ko te wehenga atu i tō hoa rangatira pea te mea tino mamae rawa atu ka mahia e koe. Me he hononga roa, kua hanga e kōrua he oranga me he mahinga tahi. Ka tino uaua rawa atu te tuku i ēnei mea katoa – he maha ngā wā ka whakaritea e te tangata ki te ngaronga o tētahi peka.

Kei konei mātou hei āwhina. Kāore mātou e oati ana ka hoki anō koe ki tō āhua kare ā-roto o ia rā, nā te mea he roa te wā e ora ai. Engari kua kohikohia e mātou ētahi mea hei whakaaroaro māu ina wehe atu koe i tō hoa aroha.

Te Wehenga ki te Aroha o tō Ora: Whakaarohia ēnei Mea 11

Kāore he ture tino tika mō te wehenga atu i tētahi hoa roa. Engari ki te whai whakaaro koe i mua, i te wā, me muri i te wehenga atu, ka māmā ake te tukanga mamae mōu me rātou. Nō reira, i mua i tō whakaaro me pēhea te wikitoria i tētahi wehenga hononga roa , anei ngā mea 11 hei whakaaroaro māu ina wehe atu koe i te aroha o tō ao.

1. Kia mārama te take e hiahia ana koe ki te wehe

Ehara i te mea tika te wehe i te whanaungatanga me te tangata e arohaina ana e koe. Engari tera pea ētahi take e kore ai koe e harikoa ki te whanaungatanga, ā, he pai ake ki a koe te whakamutu i te noho tonu ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru. Kua ngana pea koe ki te whakatika i ngā raruraru, ā, kāore he mea i pai ake. Ko te kōrero pono te huarahi pai rawa atu.

I ētahi wā, ko ō take ko "Kāore au i te harikoa" ko "E hiahia ana ahau ki ētahi atu, ā, kāore tēnei whanaungatanga i te rawaka". Ae, he take tika ēnei, engari ki te kore koe e tino mārama ki te 'take' o te wehenga atu i te aroha o tōu ao, tera pea ka taea e koe te whakamutu i tētahi hononga . Heoi anō, e hiahia ana koe ki te karo i tētahi āhuatanga e whakaaro ana koe, "Kua wehe atu ahau i te aroha o tōku ao, ā, e pouri ana ahau mōna."

"E rima tau māua ko taku hoa e noho tahi ana, ā, he pono, he pai te āhua o te whanaungatanga, he harikoa hoki," te kī a Jessica. "Engari kāore au i te harikoa. Tērā pea he rite ki te wehi ahau ki ngā whanaungatanga , engari ko taku hiahia anake kia whiwhi i tōku ake wāhi, kia haereere ko au anake, kia mahi i ngā mea me te kore e whakaaro ki ngā mahi o ia rā me ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi atu. Ahakoa te āhua whaiaro o tēnā, i aroha ahau ki taku hoa, ā, kei te aroha tonu ahau ki a ia, engari me whakamutu e au te whanaungatanga."

Koinei te mea nui rawa atu māu i a koe e ako ana ki te whakatau i te wehenga o tō hoa aroha. Ahakoa te mārama o te whakaaro, he ahua whakahihi, he āhua wairangi hoki ki te hunga o waho. Engari, ki te mārama koe, ā, e mōhio ana koe koinei tāu e hiahia ana, ka mārama ake, ka atawhai ake hoki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki tō hoa.

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2. Tu tonu 

"Kei te whakaaro tonu ahau mō te wehe i taku hoa tāne/wahine." He rite tonu tēnei ki a koe? Me tīmata koe ki te whakarite kia anga whakamua koe i roto i te ao. Kia mōhio koe ki ō whakaaro, ā, kia mārama hoki i roto i tō hinengaro ko te whakamutu i tō whanaungatanga aroha te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe, ka puta he awangawanga me ngā pātai, mai i tō roro ake, mai i ō hoa, tae atu ki tō hoa rangatira mēnā kāore rātou i te wāhi kotahi me koe.

Kia tū pakari. Ae, he mea noa te whai pātai me te ruarua – kei te wehe koe i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, ā, kei te whakamutu koe i tētahi hononga kua tautuhi pea i a koe me tō ngākau mō ngā tau. He rite ki te tuku i tētahi wāhanga o koe kia haere, ā, he uaua ki te tū pakari me te kī, "Kāo, koinei taku e hiahia ana."

Whakarongo mai, e whakaaetia ana koe kia huri i tō whakaaro me te noho tonu ki roto i tō whanaungatanga. Engari, ki te tino mōhio koe, ahakoa ngā kare ā-roto, ā, e mōhio ana koe e hiahia ana koe kia mutu tēnei whanaungatanga, kaua e whakarongo ki ngā tāngata e whakaatu ana i te ohorere me te kore whakapono, e ngana ana ki te kōrero ki a koe kia kaua e noho tahi. Ka noho tonu te tautohetohe "engari kua roa kōrua e noho tahi ana". Kāore he whanaungatanga roa e puta mai me te kore he raruraru, nō reira he tika te hiahia kia mutu. Kia mahara, kāore he he o te whakaae ki ngā raruraru whanaungatanga.

3. Kia mārama koe me kōrero uaua koe

Āe, he kōrero uaua tēnei, inā koa mēnā kei te wehe koe i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe , ā, kāore rātou i te mōhio he aha te mea ka puta. Me whakaroa koe i tēnei kōrero mō te wā roa rawa atu, nā te mea, whakaarohia te āhua o te mata o tētahi e arohaina ana e koe ina kī atu koe kāore koe e hiahia ki te noho tahi me rātou. Ko wai e hiahia ana kia noho hei tangata e tīmata ana i te wehenga? Kāore tetahi.

Kaua e noho roa ki runga i tēnei mea. I ētahi wā me whakaaro nui koe mō te whakakore i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. Engari, he mea nui kia tīmata te mahi tuatahi, kia kōrero tuatahi ai mō tō tūnga me ō kare ā-roto. Ki te kore, ka noho puku koe i roto i te kohua o ō kare ā-roto kua pehia, ā, ka riri koe ki tō hoa.

Kāore he mea ngāwari, he mea 'pai' rānei i roto i te wehenga, ina koa ka whakaaro tonu koe "Atua! He tino pai taku hoa tāne engari e hiahia ana ahau ki te wehe i a ia". Ka uaua, tera pea ka kino, ā, e kore e waiho i a koe he mahana, he pōuri hoki i roto. Ka mutu ka whara koe i ō rātou kare ā-roto. Engari kia maia, kia kōrero. Kaua e tukua ngā mea kia tae ki te wā e whiua ana e kōrua ngā mea ki a kōrua nā te mea kāore e taea e kōrua te whakapuaki i ō kōrua whakaaro i tētahi atu ara. Kāore he painga o tēnei hei whanaungatanga kino.

4. Noho me ō kare ā-roto

Taria, kāti rā, i kī atu mātou kia hinga i ō kare ā-roto, kia mahi i te mea uaua? Ae, i pērā mātou, engari whakarongo mai. Ko te ako ki te whakatau i te wehenga me te aroha o tōu ao ka uru ki te maha o ngā kare ā-roto. Ā, he nui rawa atu! Kua kōrero kē mātou mō te ruarua me te pātai ki a koe anō.

Engari kei reira anō te mamae. Te riri. Te pōhēhē. Te pouri hohonu, hohonu. He aha koe ka tuku ai i te aroha, ahakoa kāore e rite tonu ki te aroha i ngā wā katoa? Me pēhea e koe te aro atu ki te āputa āhua hoa ka waiho e te wehenga atu i tētahi hoa roa ki a koe? Kua rite rawa koe ki te aro atu ki tēnei taumata mamae me te kare ā-roto?

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Tukua kia puta mai ngā kare ā-roto. Tukua kia rere ki runga i a koe, ā, i te mutunga (ā, ka roa te wā), ka memeha haere. Tērā pea ka waiho e te mamae he mātā e kore e tino ora. Engari ka pai ake, e ai ki tā mātou. Mō tēnā, me tuku kia puta mai ngā kare ā-roto, kaua e ārai noa i a rātou. Ki te ngana nui koe kia kaua e kare ā-roto i te wā e whakatau ana koe i tētahi whakatau nui pēnei, e kore e āwhina i a koe. Ka whanake ō kare ā-roto hei kaha i roto i te wā.

5. Kia rite mō te tauhohenga a tō hoa

Kāore rawa koe e tino rite mō te tauhohenga a te tangata e arohaina ana ki tētahi āhuatanga tino kino. Kei te kī koe kia whakamutua e koe tētahi hononga aroha, he hononga e horapa ana ki ngā kokonga katoa o tō kōrua oranga, ā, kia hutia ake ngā mea katoa i hangaia ngātahitia e kōrua. He aha te tauhohenga a te tangata ki tēnā? He huarahi tika hei whakahaere i tēnā?

He pūrongo tā mātou māu. Kāore. Tērā pea ka mea tō hoa, "Āe, whakawhetai ki te Atua, kāore hoki ahau i te harikoa ki te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea te kōrero atu ki a koe." Tērā pea ka hinga rātou i te ohorere me te tangi, ka kī kāore rātou i te mōhio kei te pērā ō whakaaro. Tērā pea ka whakatau rātou ki te huri i tō whakaaro, ka mea ka taea e koe te whakatau i ngā mea. Te āhua kino rawa atu: Ka whakapae rātou i a koe mō te whakangaro i tētahi whanaungatanga tino pai, ā, ka whakapae kei te moe tāne koe.

Kia rite mō ēnei mea katoa, mō tētahi o ēnei rānei, mō tētahi rānei o ēnei. Kāore e taea te kī me pēhea te pānga o te wehenga atu i te aroha o tōu ao ki te aroha o tōu ao. Ko te hunga e whakaaro ana tātou e mōhio ana, e arohaina ana e tātou ka huri hei tauhou ina mataku, ka mamae, ka māharahara rānei. Nō reira, kia whakakaha i a koe anō mō ​​ngā mea katoa, mō ngā mea katoa.

6. Kōrerohia ngā mea ka tohaina tonutia e koe

"E tekau mā rua tau māua e marena ana, ā, tokorua ā māua tamariki. He whare tō māua, ā, i tuhia ō māua ingoa ki te rīhi, ā, i mahi tahi māua ki te tiaki i tōna whaea e mate ana," te kī a Aidan. I te whakatau a Aidan rāua ko tana wahine, ko Sarah, kāore i angitu tā rāua marena, i mōhio rāua kāore e taea e rāua te wehe noa i ō rāua oranga, ka waiho noa iho.

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"Nui atu i te aroha o te tokorua i tohaina e māua – he mātua māua, he kaitiaki māua, ā, he take pūtea anō hoki ā māua. I reira anō ētahi atu tāngata i whakaarohia e māua i a māua e whakarere ana. Nā tēnei i uaua ake ai te whakatau. Engari i ētahi wā, i māmā ake ai hoki nā te mea i hiahia māua kia ngāwari, kia kore hoki e mamae te tukanga, hei painga mō ā māua tamariki me tōku māmā," te kī a Sarah.

He uaua te wehe me te neke atu ina ko kōrua anake. Engari me pēhea te whakatau i te wehenga o tētahi tangata e kite ana koe i ia rā, ā, e pā ana ō kōrua oranga ki ngā mātua, ki ngā tamariki, ki ngā pūtea, me ētahi atu take kua hangaia ki roto i tō kōrua oranga tahi?

Kōrerohia. Waiho ō raruraru me ō riri mō tētahi wā poto, kia mārama hoki he pakeke kōrua me ō kawenga whanaungatanga . Ehara i te mea kāore koe e aro ki ō kare ā-roto. Engari me okioki i te noho hei hoa riri, pōuri, pōhēhē mō ētahi meneti, ka kōrero pono mō te āhua o tā kōrua whakahaere i ō tamariki me tō moni. Wehewehea tō wā me ō mahi tiaki kia tika. Kia mārama ki ō ake hiahia me ngā hiahia o tō hoa, kia atawhai, kia mahi, ā, kia oti.

7. Kia mārama ki tāu e ngaro nei

Ahakoa kei te raru tonu koe i ngā ruarua, he mea nui kia mārama te āhua o ngā mea ka whakarērea e koe i tētahi rā, ā tōna wā, ka hono atu koe i te taumata platonika, engari i tēnei wā, kei te motuhia e koe tētahi hononga hohonu me ngā mea katoa e haere tahi ana me ia.

Ki te mea kei te wehe koe i a koe anō i roto i te aroha, ka tino uaua tēnei. Koinei pea te whanaungatanga tino nui o tō ao, kei te wehe koe i tētahi e aroha ana ki a koe me tōna ngākau katoa. Ahakoa kua huri hei whanaungatanga taha-kotahi, e mōhio ana rātou ki ō āhuatanga rerekē, ki ngā mea e whakapataritari ana i a koe, me ngā mea e hari ai koe. Ā, e mōhio ana koe ki a rātou. Te āhua o tā rātou inu kawhe, tō rātou aroha ki ngā hāte kara, tō rātou whakarihariha ki ngā waiata trance, me ērā atu mea. Engari me kōrero pono koe ki a koe anō, me te aro atu ki ngā meka.

Kāore he kōrero whakakatakata i roto i a koe, kāore he tino mōhio kei a koe tētahi hei tiki i ngā kai mēnā ka wareware koe, tētahi hei amuamu māu ina pāngia koe e tētahi rā kino, te whakamarie o te mōhio ka noho tahi kōrua i tētahi moenga mahana me tētahi tinana e mōhiotia ana e koe, pērā i tōu ake. Ahakoa te pouri o te ahua, ka waiho e te wehenga atu i tētahi hoa rangatira he āputa nui i roto i tō ao, ā, me mōhio koe ki tēnei.

8. Kia atawhai koe i tōu kaha

He uaua tēnei, engari ehara i te mea ngāwari te wehe i tō hoa aroha. Ā, e kore rawa e ngāwari mēnā kei te ngangau tonu kōrua tetahi i tetahi.

Tērā pea kāore he mea e rite ana ki a kōrua, ā, kua wehe kē atu kōrua, tērā pea kei roto te kore pono, ā, tera pea ka arahi ki te riri me te mauahara. Engari i roto i ēnei mea katoa, ngana ki te kimi i te atawhai, i ngā tikanga pai rānei i a koe e whakatere ana i tētahi mahi uaua kē.

"I tata wehe māua ko taku hoa mō ngā tau e waru," te kī a Meisha. "Whai muri i te roa o te noho tahi, kua tae māua ki te wā kāore māua e kōrero ana, ā, i ngā wā i kōrero ai māua, ko ngā mea iti noa iho te take. I reira ngā tohu katoa o te whanaungatanga kāore e mutu ."

He mea whakamiharo, i te wā i whakatau ai rāua kia wehe, ka māmā ake te noho mārire tetahi ki tetahi. "I mōhio māua kāore māua e hototahi ana hei tokorua, engari nā te mea i whakaae māua ki tēnā, kāore māua i kino tetahi ki tetahi i te wā e wehe ana māua."

"Kāore māua i te aroha i muri mai, ina hoki, kāore pea māua i te tino aroha tetahi ki tetahi. He tino pouri, engari he mea whakamāmā hoki te mōhio kua neke atu māua. I mōhio ahau kāore au e whakaaro, "Kua wehe noa atu ahau i te aroha o tōku ao, ā, ka pouri ahau mōna", engari āe, kua pouri ahau mēnā i kino māua tetahi ki tetahi i ngā rā kua taha ake nei," te tāpiri a Meisha.

9. Whakaarohia te tiki āwhina ngaio

Ina ngana koe ki te wareware i te aroha o tōu ao , he mea tika tonu kia whakaarohia te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro. Akene kei te hiahia koe ki te whiwhi tohutohu mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine hei ngana whakamutunga ki te whakaora i tō whanaungatanga. Akene kei te hiahia koe ki te whiwhi tohutohu hei whakatau i ō whakaaro i mua, i te wā, me muri i te wehenga atu i te aroha o tōu ao. He pai ake tēnei i te noho noa iho me te whakarongo ki ngā waiata mō te mamae o te ngākau.

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Mā te kōrero ki tētahi tohunga ka āwhina i a koe ki te wetewete i a koe anō, ā, ka whakamahara anō hoki koe kāore koe i te mokemoke i tēnei āhuatanga. Kāore he whakama ki te whakaae kei te pouri koe, me te rapu āwhina. Ko te wehenga he mate o tētahi whanaungatanga, me te oranga e mōhiotia ana e koe, ā, me hoatu e koe he wā me te wāhi ki a koe anō ki te tangi.

I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he huarahi pai te kōrero ki tētahi tohunga hei horoi i a koe anō i te hinengaro me te kare ā-roto, hei whakangāwari ake hoki i a koe ki te whai i ngā mahi o ia rā, me te kore e tino pouri. Ki te whakaaro koe me āwhina koe (kia mahara, kāore he aha mēnā e hiahia ana koe), kei konei tonu te rōpū kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mātau o Bonobology me te whakarongo pai.

10. Kia maumahara he pai tonu te aroha tonu ki a rātou

Kei te ngana koe ki te wikitoria i te wehenga o te aroha pono, ā, kāore e tupu ana nā te mea kei te kī tonu koe i te aroha me ngā kare ā-roto aroha ki a rātou. He take tēnei o te "I wehe noa ahau i te aroha o tōku ao, ā, kua pouri ahau mōna"? I hē rawa atu koe?

Kāore pea, e ai ki tā mātou. Ehara i te mea ko ngā wehenga katoa he tohu kei te ki tonu koe i te mauahara ki tō hoa o mua, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te haehae i ā rāua potae me te tahu i ā rāua kākahu tino pai. Tērā pea he nui te aroha i waenganui i a kōrua, engari tera pea he rerekē ā kōrua whāinga oranga. I ētahi wā, kāore te aroha e ranea hei pupuri i te tokorua kia noho tahi – ā, koinei tētahi o ngā pono tino kino me aro atu tātou.

He maha ngā wā ka arai te ao i te aroha, engari kāore tēnā e kī ana ka ngaro tō aroha. Engari, ki te mea kei te noho hei kawenga te whanaungatanga, kaua ki te akiaki i a kōrua ki te haere whakamua i runga i te ara ora tahi, ehara i te whanaungatanga hauora ahakoa te kaha o tō kōrua aroha tetahi ki tetahi. Ā, i roto i ngā whanaungatanga hauora, i ngā whanaungatanga hauora rānei , he mea whakaaro nui te whiriwhiri i te whanaungatanga tuatahi.

He pai tonu te pupuri i te aroha ki tō hoa o mua ahakoa kua wehe kē koe. Me whakarite kia kaua e aukati i a koe ki te anga whakamua i roto i tō ake ao. Tukuna atu he kare pai me ngā whakaaro aroha ki a rātou, kātahi ka tukua atu. Ko te tumanako, ā tōna wā, ka taea e koe te tuku atu i a rātou kia haere katoa.

11. Kia tata tonu tō pūnaha tautoko

Kāore e taea te whakanui rawa i tēnei. He uaua ngā wehenga, ā, ahakoa tō kaha, kāore koe e hiahia ki te aro atu ki ngā mea ko koe anake. Me mōhio ō hoa, tō whānau, me ō whanaunga ki ngā mea e pā ana, kia whai tāngata koe hei kōrero me hei tautoko i a koe ina anga whakamua koe. Kei te wehe koe i tō hoa rangatira, ko koe pea te kaitautoko nui rawa atu, ā, me hiahia koe ki te aroha me te manaaki mai i ngā taha katoa mō ō kare ā-roto mamae.

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Kōrero ki ō hoa, ā, me moe tahi anō ina kite koe he nui rawa te moenga, he mokemoke hoki. Haere ki te hokohoko me rātou, ka whiwhi i tētahi makawe hou, ātaahua. Tukua he karere kuputuhi ki a rātou ina hiahia koe ki te waea atu, ki te tuku karere kuputuhi rānei ki tō hoa o mua kia taea ai e rātou te akiaki i a koe kia mutu. Whakapono mai, ka hiahia koe ki tēnei.

He whakamaharatanga pai ēnei katoa kei te arohaina tonutia koe ahakoa kua mate tō hoa rangatira. Mā tēnei ka ārai i a koe kei tangi mō aua waiata katoa mō te wehenga atu i te aroha o tōu ao, i te iti rawa rānei ka noho tahi koe me ētahi atu hei tangi. I ia wā ka whakaaro koe, "I wehe atu ahau i te aroha o tōku ao, ā, e pouri ana ahau mōna", ka puta mai he whakamaharatanga aroha mō te take i wehe ai koe, me te take me piri tonu koe ki te whakatau.

He whakatau uaua te wehe atu i te aroha o tōu ao, ā, he maha ngā wā, he tukanga pōrearea, ā, me whai huarahi koe ki te whakatau i te mamae o te ngākau . Ahakoa kua whakatau tahi kōrua kāore e angitu, he nui te mamae hei pā mai. Kia atawhai ki a koe anō me tetahi ki tetahi ahakoa ngā kōrero uaua, ā, kia mahara, kei te arohaina tonu kōrua, ahakoa te aha.

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