9 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaora i te Manawa i Muri i te Wehenga

Kia mutu ngā pakanga katoa o te Marriage Story, kia marino te pana me te kukume o te wehenga kino, ko te mea anake e toe ana ko te kare ā-roto e totohu ana i muri i tō wehenga. Tērā pea ka meinga koe kia whakaaro kāore he mea e rite anō, ā, ko te whakaaro me pēhea te pai ake o te wairua i muri i te wehenga he moemoeā noa iho.

Ehara i te mea kāore koe e hiahia kia pai ake, engari nā te mea kāore koe e mōhio me pēhea. Tērā pea ka kōrero mai ō hoa ki a koe mō ngā ika katoa o te moana, mō te karapu hou rānei e tika ana kia haere atu koe, engari ko te kimi i te hihiri ki te awhi i ngā tini tāngata e hiahia ana ki te haere mai i tō tūnga takakau hou te mea tino uaua.

I nāianei, kua mōhio pea koe kāore e taea e ō hoa wehe, a Ben (& Jerry) rāua ko Jack (Daniels) te hoatu i ngā whakautu e hiahiatia ana e koe. Tukua mātou kia hoatu ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i a koe kia tū pakari anō, me te tohunga hinengaro. Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaunihera mō te wehenga me te whakarere.

9 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaora i te Manawa i Muri i te Wehenga

Kāo, kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakaiti i te tangata kia ngaro ai tō aroha ki a ia. Kāo, ko te tirotiro anō i ā rātou whakaahua i roto i tō taiwhanga whakaahua e kore e āwhina. Kāo, ko te pānui anō i ngā kōrerorero tawhito e kore e āwhina. Me te whaiwhai anō i ā rātou Instagram.

Kaua e pēhi i te pātene karanga i te taha o tōna ingoa kua roa nei koe e titiro matatau ana. Kaua e whakarongo nui ki a Taylor Swift, ā, kāore, kāore ngā makawe e pai mōu. Ko te mea nui, kua mōhio kē koe ki ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia mahia hei whakaora i te wehenga, engari ka mutu, ka whakamātau noa tātou.

Hei mārama ki te huarahi hei wikitoria i te wehenga, ako ki te whakarongo ki tō kaitukino ā-roto. Ina taea e koe te mutu te whakatau kino e mōhio ana koe he kino mōu, ka iti ake ngā pō e hiahiatia ana he ope hoa hei aukati i a koe ki te waea atu ki tō hoa o mua i te 2 i te ata. Ae, ka tupu noa tēnā ina tukua koe kia rongo i ō kare ā-roto, ā, kia whakaae ki te wehenga. Me titiro tātou ki ngā mea katoa. ngā mea hei mahi i muri i te wehenga ka taea e tēnei te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatutuki i tēnā:

1. Ko te huarahi pai rawa atu, me te huarahi uaua rawa atu hoki ki te whakaora i te wehenga: Ko te ture kore-pā

Kāore pea koe i whakaaro ka tīmata tēnei rārangi o ngā huarahi hei whakapai ake i te wairua i muri i te wehenga me tētahi mea ka tino pōuri koe i te tīmatanga. Heoi, i te mea Hatia ka mea, “Ko te ture kore-pā, i te nuinga o te wā, he mea whakamiharo te mahi hei āwhina i a koe kia neke whakamua. E whai ana i te whakataukī, "Kei tawhiti atu i te tirohanga, kei tawhiti atu i te hinengaro".

"Heoi, ko te mamae e puta tonu mai ana i muri i te motuhia atu o tēnei tangata i tō ao ka tino kino. Hei ārai i tēnā, ki taku whakaaro ko te rongoā ko te whakaae. Ka tīmata te pai haere o ngā mea ina whakaae koe kua mutu te whanaungatanga, ā, he pai ki te rongo i ō kare ā-roto, te pouri, me te mamae."

E kore pea e pai ake tō āhua i tēnei wā tonu; tera pea ka kino rawa atu tō āhua i te wā poto, engari ko tā mātou e whai nei he tipu mō te wā roa, ehara i te whakatikatika mō te wā poto. Kāore e taea te tuku i te patunga kia ora mēnā ka whakatuwhera tonu koe i ngā tuitui i raro i te kākahu o te "kati", tika?

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2. Kōrero ki te iwi mō tēnei mea

Kāore mātou e tono ana kia huri koe hei Debbie Downer, kia amuamu tonu ai mō tō whanaungatanga kore angitu ki ia tangata tūpono ka tūtaki koe, engari he tino āwhina te kōrero mō ō kare ā-roto me ngā mea i pā ki te hunga e aroha ana ki a koe.

Ahakoa e mōhio ana tātou ko te kōrero ki ngā tāngata e whakawhirinakihia ana e tātou tētahi o ngā mea pai rawa atu hei mahi i muri i te wehenga, he maha tonu ngā wā ka tukua tātou ki te whakamatautauranga o te hiahia ki te karo i te katoa. Whakapono mai ki a mātou, ina kī mātou kāore te raka i a koe i roto i tō rūma i ngā wiki mutunga e āwhina i a koe. Ki te waimarie koe ki te whai i ngā tāngata i roto i tō ao e hiahia ana ki te āwhina me te kite i a koe e pai ake ana, whakapā atu ki a rātou me te kōrero ki a rātou.

PS: Ahakoa kāore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero kino mō tō hoa o mua, ka puta tonu mai i tō arero te kōrero kino ina kōrero koe ki te hunga e pai ana koe ki te noho tahi. Āe, he tino āwhina tēnā.

3. Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō, kia atawhai hoki ki a koe anō

Ko te mārama ki te āhua o te noho pai i muri i te wehenga ka whakawhirinaki nui ki tō atawhai ki a koe anō. Kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i a koe kia harikoa ake i muri i te wiki, te kino rānei ki a koe anō mēnā kei te ngaro tonu koe i tō hoa o mua i muri i te roanga o te wā.

Heoi anō, tera pea ka mutu ka tukua e koe ō kare ā-roto kino kia kaha ake, ā, ka pōuri haere i roto i te wā. Ka whakamārama a Shazia i ētahi huarahi hei karo i tēnā. "Whakamahia te atawhai i a koe anō. Kia noho noa ai koe i muri i te wehenga, he mea nui kia atawhai koe i a koe anō, kia mōhio hoki ka roa te haerenga, inā koa mēnā kei te whakaaro koe kei te raru koe ki te pouri i muri i te wehenga.

"Tiakihia tō tinana, tō hinengaro, tō wairua, me te whakaae ki ngā kare ā-roto o te pouri me te mate e pā ana ki a koe. I te nuinga o te wā, ka nui haere te pouri o te tangata i te roanga o te wā nā te mea ka ātete rātou ki te mamae tuatahi o te pouri. Kia tukua e koe kia rongo i ō kare ā-roto, ā, kia kaua e oma atu i aua kare ā-roto, ka tīmata hoki koe ki te mārama me pēhea te noho pai ake i muri i te wehenga."

4. Kia pukumahi koe

Ae, tera pea ka rongo koe i tēnei tohutohu i ia wā ka puta ake tō raruraru mō te noho pai ake i muri i te wehenga, ā, e mōhio ana mātou ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho pukumahi, ina koa kāore koe i te hihiri ki te whakarite mahere.

"Ki te kore koe e tino hiahia ki te noho pukumahi, ā, kāore he hihiri ki te mahi i tetahi mea, kia mōhio koe he pai ki te pērā anō hoki," te kī a Shazia, "Kāore e taea te whakapai ake i a koe anō i muri i te wehenga, ā, he pai ki te whai wā koe."

"Kua whakaritea tātou kia oma atu i ngā kare ā-roto kino, kia whakahawea hoki ki a rātou. Engari, ina awhi koe i a rātou, ka peia atu i roto i tō pūnaha i te wā tika, ka kitea e koe te hihiri hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau pai ake māu ake." Ā, i te mutunga, ka rite koe mō tēnā. ra tuatahi me taua tangata e ngana tonu ana tō hoa ki te hono atu i a koe.

5. Whakauruhia ngā mahi whakangahau kua roa e ngaro ana

He nui te wā e pau ana i ngā whanaungatanga, ā, ko te mea tuatahi ka pāngia e te mahi ko te kitā akotiko e kohikohi puehu ana i te kokonga o tō kāpata, ko ngā paraihe rānei e tatari ana kia kohia anō.

Whakaarahihia ō kare ā-roto aroha kāore i te tino whakanuia ki a koe anō, kia tiaho mai tō hiahia ā-taiao, ka tīmata anō ki te mahi i ō mahi tawhito. I te mutunga o te rā, ko te nui ake o tō whakaaro ko koe anō, ko te tere ake o tō whakaaro kia noho noa i muri i te wehenga.

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6. Whakaarohia te rongoa

Ki te whakaaro koe me āwhina koe e te tohunga kia mārama ai koe ki te whakapai ake i tō wairua i muri i te wehenga, koinei pea tētahi o ngā whakatau pai rawa atu māu. Mō te kōrero mō te kaupapa nei, Tākuta Aman Bhonsle i kōrero i mua ki a Bonobology, "Ina whakawhirinaki te tangata ki ngā hoa, kaua ki ngā tohunga hauora hinengaro, ka kino ake pea ō rātou mamae."

"Ko ngā kupu tohutohu kino pēnei i te 'ka pahemo anō hoki tēnei', 'he maha ngā ika i te moana', me te 'me takahi koe i raro i tētahi kia hinga ai i a ia' he nui ake te kino i te pai. He rite ki te rotarota engari kāore he painga whai hua."

"Tērā pea he kaupapa a tō whānau, a ō hoa rānei, ā, ka kōrero pea i ngā mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarongo. Kāore he mana o te kaiwhakaora hinengaro ki te miharo i a koe. Ka whakapai ake ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro i tō Hauora hinengaro mā te āwhina i a koe ki te whakakore i tēnei iroriki hinengaro kua pangia koe mā te kī atu ki a koe he aha te mea pai mōu me ngā mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarongo, ehara i te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarongo.”

E mea ana a Shazia, "Ka taea e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i tō raruraru; ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā wāhi e raru ana koe, me te ārahi i a koe ki ngā huarahi pea mō ngā otinga. Ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe kia mōhio ki ngā tauira o ō whanonga, me te ārahi i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā whakatau pai ake māu ake."

Ki te whakaaro koe kei roto koe i te pouri i muri i tō wehenga, ā, kāore e taea e koe te kimi i ngā whakautu e hiahiatia ana e koe, kei a Bonobology tētahi he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau ko wai ka taea te āwhina i a koe ki te whakahaere pai ake i ō kare ā-roto.

7. Ka taea e te whakakori tinana te āwhina i a koe kia pai ake te ahua i taua wā tonu

Kāore pea koe e hiahia ki te ara ake i tō tū "aihikirimi i runga i tō puku i runga i te sofa", engari he maha ngā rangahau kua kī mai ina whakamahia te korikori tinana me te rongoā, ka tino āwhina i te whakahaere i ngā tohu me ngā āhuatanga o te pouri.

Nō reira, ahakoa kei te rapu huarahi koe ki te ora i muri i te wehenga i a koe e aroha tonu ana ki a rāua, kei te rapu noa rānei koe i ngā mea hei mahi i muri i te wehenga, ka āwhina te whakamahi i te paera. Tae noa ki te kī a Harvard Health he rite te pai o te whakakori tinana ki te rongoā ārai pouri i ētahi wā.

E whakaatu ana hoki ngā rangahau he hononga kei waenganui i te korikori tinana me te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, nō reira kāore he take e kore ai te korikori tinana e waiho hei whakautu māu ki te pātai me pēhea te kia pai ake te ahua i muri i te wehenga.

8. Kaua rawa e ngaro tō whakaaro mō te mana o koe anō

"He mea nui te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō ina ngana ana koe ki te ora mai i te wehenga," te kī a Shazia. "Ki te whakapono te tangata ki a ia anō, ā, e whakanui ana hoki i a ia anō, e kore rawa te whanaungatanga rahua e meinga kia whakaaro kāore ia e hiahiatia ana."

"Kāore he hononga e angitu mō ngā take maha. Tērā pea kua mutu i runga i ngā whakaritenga tahi, i te kino rānei. Engari ahakoa kua whakaae te tokorua ki te wehe, ehara i te mea me whakapae rawa tetahi o rāua i a rāua anō mō ​​taua mea, me whakaiti hoki i a rāua anō."

"Kaua e tukua tēnei wheako kia whakatau i ō whakaaro mōu ake. Mā te aroha noa ki a koe anō ka tīmata ai koe ki te noho noa i muri i te wehenga. Ki te kore, ka pāngia pea koe e tētahi whanaungatanga kino ā muri ake nei, me te whakaaro koinei anake te mea e tika ana māu," tāna tāpiri.

9. Kia tūtaki ki te iwi

He teka tāu mēnā i kī koe kāore tō whanaungatanga i arai i a koe me ētahi o ō hoa. Nā te mea he nui ake tō wā, kua tae ki te wā kia whiti mai ngā kare ā-roto kāore i te tino whakanuia pērā i te aroha whakapati ki ō hoa.

Āhea te wā whakamutunga i puta ai koe i tētahi pō whakangahau mō ngā kōtiro, mō ngā tāne rānei? Kia tūtaki ki ngā tāngata katoa i ngaro i a koe te hononga, haere atu ki waho, kia ngahau ai.

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Kia pēhea te roa o te wā e pai ake ai te āhua i muri i te wehenga?

Ina mau koe i roto i te ara o te ngana ki te ora ake i te wehenga i a koe e aroha tonu ana ki a rātou, Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro e kore rawa tēnei ngakau pouri e mutu. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakarite i tō whakaoranga ki te whakaoranga o ētahi atu, ā, ka tīmata hoki te whakaaro kino ki a koe anō.

He mea nui kia matara atu i ngā whakaaro e rua. E whakamārama ana a Shazia, "Kia kore ai e tukua ō whakaaro kino me ō kare ā-roto kia hinga i a koe, me atawhai i a koe anō. Me mārama hoki koe he rerekē te whakahaere a te katoa i ēnei kare ā-roto, nō reira kaua rawa e whakarite i a koe ki ētahi atu."

"Ki te mea kua ora ake tetahi o ōu hoa i te wehenga i roto i te wiki, kāore he take ki te whakarite i tō haerenga ki tā rātou, nā te mea he rerekē tō rātou whanaungatanga, tō rātou oranga, tō rātou pumau o ngā kare ā-roto me ngā mea katoa e taea te whakaaro i roto i ō rātou oranga i tōu."

Kāore rawa he wātaka mō te wā e hua ai tō rapunga kia mārama ai me pēhea te noho pai ake i muri i te wehenga. Tērā pea ka roa mai i ētahi marama ki te ono marama, i te tau, i te roa atu rānei. Mēnā he atawhai koe ki a koe anō, he hihiri hoki mō te heke mai, ka pai ake ngā mea. Kaua te "whakaora" i roto i tētahi wātaka te whāinga, engari ko te whāinga kia pai ake i ia rā.

Hei āwhina i a koe ki te ora i muri i te wehenga, ka waiho mai a Shazia i ētahi atu tohutohu whai hua. "Kaua e haere ki te haere i runga i te haerenga hara. Kaua e whakaaro kei te kore koe e tika mo te aroha nā te mea kāore i angitu tetahi hononga. Kia mārama ehara i te mutunga o te ao, me arotahi koe ki a koe anō inaianei."

"I mua i te neke whakamua me te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou, whakaaroarohia koe, ka pātai ki a koe anō mēnā kua rite koe mō tēnei whakawhiti. Tātarihia mēnā kei te mahi koe i tēnei mō ngā take tika, kei te oma atu rānei i ngā kare ā-roto kino e whakararuraru ana i a koe.

"Whakatauhia ki a koe anō ngā mea nui. Tiakina tō hauora hinengaro, tinana, me te wairua. Hoatu ki a koe anō te māia me te aroha e hiahiatia ana hei whakatau pai ake, ā, ka tino angitu koe i roto i te wā poto."

Ehara i te mea uaua te mārama ki te āhua o te noho pai i muri i te wehenga. Heoi anō, e mōhio ana koe ki tāu e mahi ai, engari ko te whakatinanatanga te wāhi e hē ai te nuinga o te tangata. Ina pōuri te ao, ā, e tohu ana ngā tohu aihikirīmi i tō uma i tō mutunga wiki, whakaarohia ngā mea hei mahi i muri i te wehenga kua whakarārangihia e mātou i runga ake nei.

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Te Huarahi Tika ki te Whakamahi i te Mana o te Wahangu i muri i te Wehenga

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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