Tikamakamba nkhani, maganizo akuti banja latha. Koma kodi kukhala pachibwenzi kungathandize banja lanu? Ndi funso losangalatsa, lopanda mayankho osavuta. Pokhapokha ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi onse ali ndi mtima wokonda polyamory, kugonana kunja kwa banja nthawi zonse kumakhala ayi. Lingaliro lamphamvu kwambiri la ukwati ndi kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi, kotero kuti kusakhulupirika nthaŵi zonse kumawonedwa kukhala kovulaza, eti?
Koma ena anganene kuti ukwati ukhoza kupeza phindu la kugonana kunja kwa banja, ndikukupangitsani kuyamikira kwambiri mnzanuyo. Kupatula apo, chikondi ndi chamitundumitundu. Mwina chikondi chamtundu wina chimalimbitsa chinanso. Tili ndi gulu la anthu oti tiyese, ndipo malingaliro awo anali onse osiyanasiyana komanso odabwitsa.
Kodi Ukwati Ungakhale Wamphamvu Pambuyo pa Chibwenzi?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Zifukwa za chigololo chakunja kwa ukwati ndi zambirimbiri - kusungulumwa, kusungulumwa, kumva ngati munthu sakuyamikiridwa. Chigololo chakunja kwa ukwati - chomwe chimaphatikizapo kuyanjana ndi munthu wina, kugonana komanso kugwirizana ndi wina (osati kungokondana ndi munthu kapena maganizo) - chingakupatseni mwayi wowona ukwati wanu m'njira yatsopano.
Zingakulimbikitseninso kukonza ukwati wanu. Kupatula apo, chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ukwati ukhale wosakhazikika ndi ukwati wosakhazikika. Anthu ena omwe tinalankhula nawo anati chibwenzi chingabwezeretse ukwatiwo mwa kubwezera kumbuyo kusakhazikika komwe kumawoneka. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, chibwenzi chakunja kwa ukwati chimakhala supuni yomwe imasonkhezera mphika.
Timalowa muubwenzi wakunja chifukwa zosowa zina sizikukwaniritsidwa m'banja mwathu - chibwenzi chakunja chimasiyana ndi chikhalidwe cha m'banja. Tikayerekeza maubwenzi onse aŵiriwo, kusiyana kumeneku kumatisonyeza zimene takhala tikuzisowa muukwati wathu. Choncho, timatha kudziwa chimene chimafunika m’banja lathu kuti tikhale okhutira.
Mugawoli, tidafunsa anthu za ubwino wokhala ndi zibwenzi, ngati alipo, ndipo ngati chibwenzi choterocho chingakonzedi banja lanu.
Chibwenzi cha mwamuna wanga chinapulumutsa banja lathu
Sawmya Tewari akuvomereza kuti kuchita zibwenzi kunja kwa ukwati kungabweretse chisangalalo m'banja mwanu ndikukupangitsani kuyamikira kwambiri mnzanuyo . Iye anati, "Chibwenzi cha mwamuna wanga chinapulumutsa ukwati wathu. Tinali titasiyana kwambiri ndi ntchito zathu. Koma chibwenzi chake ndi momwe ndinachitira ndi izi zinatibwezera ku zenizeni. Tinazindikira kuti timasamalanabe ndipo palibe aliyense wa ife amene angaganize zothetsa ukwati."
Sawmya nayenso adafotokozapo za mwamuna wina yemwe adanyenga mkazi wake, koma adapita ku uphungu kwanthawi ndithu ndipo tsopano moto waukwati wabwerera. “Mnzanga anakhumudwa pamene anadziŵa za chibwenzicho, koma pamene mwamuna wake anafuna kukonzanso unansi wawo, anazindikira kuti nayenso anafuna kutero.” “Potsirizira pake umayamikira kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wako pamene ukuganiza zowataya kapena kuwaganizira ndi munthu wina,” iye analingalira motero.
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Chigololo ndi ukwati siziyendera limodzi nthawi zonse
Koma nthawi zonse pali mbali ina yomwe chibwenzi chingapangitse kuti banja likhale loipitsitsa, ndipo mumazindikira kuti mukunong'oneza bondo chifukwa cha chibwenzi chanu. Smriti adati ali ndi abwenzi omwe akuperekanso ukwati wawo kachiwiri atapulumuka pachibwenzi. Koma, iye anachenjeza kuti, chibwenzi chingathandize kutsitsimutsanso moto wakale muukwati wathu, koma ngati tiutenga mopitirira muyeso, “Kaŵirikaŵiri chimatha kukhala chowopsa ku ukwati, chifukwa chakuti munasweka kale kukhulupirirana, ndiyeno, m’malo moti ukwati wanu ukhale bwino, umasanduka tsoka.”
Palinso mbali ina ya chibwenzi. Smriti ananena kuti ngakhale chibwenzi chingathandize ukwati, mkazi kapena mwamuna wina amene ali pachibwenzicho angakhale ndi chiyembekezo chakuti tsiku lina, chibwenzicho chidzasanduka chibwenzi. "Pankhaniyi, amene ali mu ukwatiwo akwanitsa kupangitsa miyoyo yawo kukhala yosangalatsa. Koma taganizirani mmene zilili zosalungama kwa 'wina' amene amalakalaka chikondi ndi chisamaliro, koma amakhala yekhayekha tsiku lililonse!"
Kuti chibwenzi chichite zodabwitsa m'banja, onse awiri ayenera kulimbikitsa chibwenzicho, zomwe sizingatheke, chifukwa cha kudzikonda kwathu komanso kukhala ndi zinthu.
Chibwenzi chingathenso kusokoneza ukwati wanu
Anthu ena ankanena motsimikiza kuti palibe chilichonse chomwe chingathandize ukwati. “Chibwenzi chingalepheretse moyo wanu waukwati nthawi 99/100. Ndipo zimenezo ndi mwayi womwe sindingaubetchere,” anatero Ayushi. “Chilimbikitso chokhudza kudalirana? Musapite kumeneko - chingabwererenso kudzakupwetekani,” anachenjeza Amreeta Sen, pomwe Ankur adavomereza kuti nkhani za kudalirana nthawi zonse zidzakhalabe ndi munthu amene wanyengedwa.
Ndizovuta kuchotsa ululu wotere. "Mabanja atha kupitiliza pazifukwa zilizonse koma ndizovuta ngakhale kuzisiya pakapita nthawi," adatero. "Anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi amadziwika kuti amasintha mofatsa komanso osamala kwambiri kwa okondedwa awo. Zitha kukhala chifukwa cha kulakwa, kuti amaganizira, koma ndi mlandu," adatero Dr Sanjeev Trivedi, kupereka maganizo osiyana.
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Nthawi zina kusakhulupirika kungapangitse banja kukhala lolimba
Kusakhulupirika kungapangitse wolakwayo kuzindikira zotsatira za cholakwacho ngati atadziwika ndikumupangitsanso kuti awone ngati chibwenzicho ndi kuphwanya kukhulupirirana kunali koyenera, akutero Amit Shankar Saha. Koma pakhoza kukhala chibwenzi pamene palibe chobisika ndipo muzochitika zotere, makamaka pamene okwatirana ali mabwenzi apamtima, chofunika kwambiri ndi kukhala ndi udindo.
Nthawi zambiri sikofunikira kuti munthu wokwatira afike pamlingo woti akhale ndi chibwenzi chokwanira koma munthu amene angathe kupereka chithandizo chamaganizo. Nkhani zotere nthawi zina zimaonedwa ngati kusakhulupirika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi, koma pazochitika zotere, chibwenzi chingapangitse ukwati kukhala wolimba.
Amit akuvomereza kuti, “N’zosatheka kuganiza kuti munthu m’modzi yekha angapereke chikhutiro chamtundu uliwonse. Anthu nthawi zambiri amalephera pa malingaliro ndi zolinga zawo zosiyanasiyana kuti akhale ndi mnzawo m’modzi kuti akhutire. Mnzawo akhoza kukhala mnzanu wogonana naye, mnzanu wamaganizo, ndipo sangakhale mnzanu wanzeru .”
Ndiponso, palinso malingaliro ena amene angagaŵidwe ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ndipo ena amakhala oyenera kwa bwenzi kapena bwenzi losiyana.
Kuchita chinyengo ndikwabwino kwa banja lanu
N'zotheka kukhala ndi ubwenzi wolimba kupitirira ukwati, koma pamene mizere ya ubalewu ikuyamba kusokonekera, pakhoza kukhala mavuto. Koma maanja ambiri omwe adachira pambuyo pa chibwenzi amati adazindikira zolakwa zawo ndipo adayamba kukonza ukwatiwo zomwe zidapangitsa kuti ubale wawo ukhale wabwino pamapeto pake. Koma onse amavomereza kuti zinthu zimabwera ndi zotsatirapo zake, momwe mungasankhire kuchita zimenezo ndi udindo wanu.
Poyamba, anthu ochepa anganene kuti "Kubera mwamuna wanga kunapulumutsa ukwati wanga" kapena "Mkazi wanga anasangalala kwambiri atadziwa kuti ndikugona ndi munthu wina". Ndipo anthu owerengeka amapita ku chibwenzi chongoganiza kuti "Kubera ndikwabwino kwa banja langa". Pamene okwatirana adziwa za kubera, ululu wamaganizo umene amadutsamo umakhala wowawa.
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Koma pamene ayamba kutolera zidutswazo pambuyo pa chibwenzi, zikhoza kukhala zotheka kuti alowetse moyo watsopano muukwati chifukwa okwatiranawo amayesetsa kwambiri. Ndipamene munganene kuti mwina kubera kumakhala kwabwino kwa banja lanu.
Chikondi n'chovuta, ndipo chikondi chimene chimachitika kunja kwa chizolowezi ndi chovuta kwambiri. Munthu akhoza kukhala ndi chikondi kwa ambiri popanda kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndipo samadziimba mlandu chifukwa chokana chikondicho kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Izi zikunenedwa, zimatengera ntchito yambiri, chithandizo, komanso chikhumbo chenicheni chochiritsa ndi kukonza ukwatiwo, ngati mukuyembekeza kuyambanso pambuyo pa chibwenzi. Kodi chibwenzi chathandiza banja lanu? Tiuzeni mu ndemanga pansipa.
Ibibazo
Zinthu zimatha kuchitika ngakhale m'mabanja abwino kwambiri. Zomwe zimayambitsa zibwenzi zimatha kukhala kunyong'onyeka, kusagonana, kudziona ngati wosayamikiridwa, kapena kukhala wosungulumwa. Nthawi zina, chibwenzi chimakhala chokhudza mtima pamene wina akuwona kuti zosowa zawo sizikukwaniritsidwa muukwati.
Pali nthawi zina pamene kukhala ndi chibwenzi kwabwezeretsa mphamvu muukwati kapena kwapangitsa munthu kuyamikira kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Koma zimafunika khama lalikulu kuti akonze ukwati chibwenzicho chikapezeka, ndipo nthawi zina, kudalirana kumatha kwamuyaya ndipo ukwatiwo sungapulumutsidwe.
Kugonana kunja kwa banja kungakhale kwamalingaliro, thupi, kapena zonse ziwiri. Nthawi zina, ndi kugwedezeka kwa thupi, nthawi zina ndi mgwirizano wamaganizo. Zibwenzi zakunja zimatha kukhala chikondi kapena ubale wokhazikika, koma nthawi zambiri, theka la chibwenzicho chimabwerera kwa okwatirana.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Kubera sikulakwa koma chisankho chodziwikiratu chopangidwa ndi wonyenga kutaya kudzipereka, khalidwe ndi makhalidwe abwino ku fumbi bin & kugawana thupi kwa munthu wachitatu kuti agwiritsidwe ntchito. “Timalowa m’chibwenzi chakunja chifukwa zosoŵa zina sizikukwaniritsidwa m’banja mwathu ” – Ndiye chifukwa chiyani wina samakambirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ndi kukonza ubwenzi wawo. Chifukwa ndi achinyengo odzikonda ndipo sakonda mnzawo. amadziwanso kuti "Ghar ki chor ko ngakhale Mulungu sangagwire". Ndicho chifukwa chake amasangalala kugwiritsidwa ntchito mopanda manyazi ndi munthu wachitatu. Wonyenga nthaŵi zonse amasangalala ndi mchitidwe wopanda manyazi umene mkazi wokhulupirika amamva ululu. Kodi ndi koyenera kukhala ndi wachinyengo kunyumba kapena koyenera kukhala ndi chiweto chokhulupirika (ngakhale chiweto) kunyumba ndi zomwe mkazi wokhulupirika ayenera kusankha . Kodi ndi koyenera kukhalabe paubwenzi ndi wonyenga kapena ndikoyenera kugwira ntchito paubwenzi watsopano ndi watsopano ndikwabwino chifukwa ngati wina aganiza zokhala ndi wonyenga, nkhope yokhotakhota ndi yochenjera iyenera kuwona tsiku ndi tsiku. Podumphira pamwamba padenga, munthu amadzisweka yekha, kuti adziwe izi, sayenera kudumpha ndikusanthula. Monga izi, munthu safuna kubera kuti adziwe zovuta za m'banja. Ichi ndi chowiringula chochirikiza mchitidwe wopanda manyazi wa achifwamba opanda khalidwe kuti asangalale ndi mapindu a ukwati monga tizilombo toyambitsa matenda pathupi. Onyenga amalimbikira m'banja kuti asangalale ndi maukwati komanso kuchita zinthu zonyansa kumbuyo kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake wokhulupirika pambuyo pake, wachinyengo sali kanthu koma "Ghar Ki chor" komanso kunena kuti "Ghar Ki chor ko ngakhale Mulungu sangagwire"