Zizindikiro 13 Za Nkhani Zodalirika Ndi Momwe Mungagonjetsere

Kodi kusakhulupirika m'mbuyomu muubwenzi wanu kukupangitsani kuti musakhulupirire bwenzi lanu? Kodi mumayang'anitsitsa mnzanuyo nthawi zambiri, kukayikira zolinga zake, ndipo zomwe akufotokozera sizikupangitsani kukhala omasuka? Kodi mukuganiza zoyipitsitsa pazovuta pang'ono muubwenzi wanu ndikuyamba kufunafuna njira yopulumukira? Izi ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti muli ndi nkhani zodalirika zomwe ziyenera kuthetsedwa posachedwa.

Kusakhulupirirana muubwenzi pamene kuli kovuta paokha, ndi chizindikiro cha nkhani zakuya zomwe zingakhale zikuvutitsa mgwirizano wanu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati munanamizidwa, kunamiziridwa, kupwetekedwa mtima, kapena kukusiyani ndi mnzanu wapamtima kapena amene munali naye kale, kapenanso wina wapafupi ndi inu (monga kholo limene munali kudalira kuti akutetezeni koma sanakutetezeni), kukhulupirirana sikungabwerenso mwachibadwa kwa inu. 

Mutha kukayikira omwe ali pafupi nanu ndipo mumakonda kuthawa zochitika. Mwachitsanzo, pamene chibwenzi chayamba kusintha kwambiri, m'malo mokhala osangalala komanso otetezeka, mumayamba kuchita mantha ndikuyang'ana njira zodzitetezera kuti musavulalenso. Izi zitha kukulepheretsani kupanga maubwenzi okhalitsa omwe mungathe kusungitsa ndalama, ndikusiya njira yolumikizirana kwanthawi yayitali - chilichonse chomwe chimadzetsa kukhulupirirana.

Zachidziwikire, izi zitha kukhala vuto lalikulu kwambiri. Ndiye, mungasiye bwanji? Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudziwa momwe kulephera kukhulupirirana kumaonekera, zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana, komanso momwe mungathanirane nawo, mogwirizana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), yemwe anayambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi chithandizo cha mabanja.

Kodi Nkhani Zodalirika Ndi Chiyani? 

Kodi ndili ndi nkhani zodalirika, mukudabwa? Kuti muthe kuwunika molondola, choyamba muyenera kuzindikira kuti zinthu zodalirika ndi zotani. Mwachidule, kukhala ndi nkhani zodalirika kumatanthauza kuti mumavutika kukhulupirira kuti anthu ena ndi oona mtima, odalirika komanso okhulupirika. Izi zikuphatikizanso anthu omwe ali mgulu lanu, kuphatikiza bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Izi zimachitika pamene kukhulupirirana kwatha chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika, chinyengo, kapena kusaona mtima, zomwe zimachititsa mantha kupwetekedwanso. 

Mwachidule, kulephera kukhulupirira ena ndi njira yodzitetezera yomwe mumapanga kuti mudziteteze. Komabe, vuto ndilakuti imatha kuwonekera ngati machitidwe ena osafunikira monga nsanje yoopsa , kukayikira, kapena kufunsa mafunso nthawi zonse. Mu maubwenzi apamtima, machitidwe amenewa amatha kulepheretsa kulankhulana bwino komanso kukondana kwambiri.

Devaleena akuti, "Kukhulupirirana paubwenzi kumamangidwa ndi zochita zazing'ono monga ngati wina akuwonetsa chiwopsezo, winayo amayankha mosamala. Komabe, ngati mukulimbana ndi nkhani zokhulupirirana mukhoza kukhala ndi vuto kuvomereza nthawizi momwe zilili ndipo nthawi zonse mukhoza kuyang'ana zolinga zolakwika kapena kuyembekezera kuti nsapato ina igwe chifukwa mukumva kuti mukufunikira kudziteteza."

Ngati chizolowezichi sichinathetsedwe, chingayambitse mtunda pakati pa anthu awiri. Kusakhulupirirana muubwenzi kungachepetse pang'onopang'ono ubale pakati pa anthu awiri, kuwalekanitsa. Ngati simukufuna kutaya ubale wina chifukwa cha mavuto anu okhudzana ndi kudalirana, muyenera kusiya chizolowezi choipachi ndikupeza momwe mungathanirane ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana ndi kusadzidalira. Gawo loyamba pankhaniyi ndikupeza vuto. Kuti tichite zimenezi, tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti pali mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana.

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Zizindikiro 13 Zomwe Muli Ndi Nkhani Zokhulupirira Mu Ubale

Ndiye kodi zizindikiro za kusakhulupirirana muubwenzi zimawoneka bwanji? Funso la owerenga lomwe latumizidwa ku Bonobology limafotokoza mwachidule. Mtsikana wina wazaka 23 wa ku Dallas, dzina lake Ashley, analemba kalata kwa alangizi athu a m’nyumba kuti: “Ndakhala ndi zokumana nazo zosasangalatsa m’moyo wanga wa pachibwenzi m’mbuyomo chifukwa chakuti ndinali wozengereza kuyamba chibwenzi.” Komabe, kenako ndinakumana ndi mnyamata ameneyu amene anandisonyeza kuti si onse amene ali ofanana ndipo ndinam’konda. 

"Ndinaganiza kuti ndinakumana ndi mnzanga wapamtima pamene ndinakumana naye. Zinthu zinali bwino pakati pathu poyamba, kenako ndinapeza kuti ali ndi chibwenzi chatsopano ndi mtsikana wochokera m'dera lake. Kupeza kumeneku kwandisiya nditasweka. Kumbali ina, amadzimva kuti sakukhutira ndi anyamata ambiri muofesi mwanga, ndipo zimenezo zakhala vuto lina muubwenzi wathu. Tikupitirizabe kukayikirana ndipo sitinathe kupirira. Zatipangitsa tonse kukhala okhumudwa, nthawi zonse tinkafunsana mafunso ndipo nthawi zonse tinkaganiza kuti winayo akunyenga. Ndikuganiza kuti maubwenzi athu akale akukhudza ubale wathu. Ndikuganiza zothetsa chibwenzi chake."

Mukuwona pamene gawo la chidaliro likusowa muubwenzi, zimatha kukhala zovuta kuti likhale lathunthu komanso logwira ntchito. Ndikofunikira kuwachotsa. Izi zikuphatikizapo kumvetsetsa momwe nkhani zodalirika zimawonekera. Kotero, kuwonjezera pa kukayikira, zizindikiro zina za kukhulupirirana ndi ziti? Nazi makhalidwe 13 omwe akusonyeza kuti zimakuvutani kukhulupirira wokondedwa wanu: 

1. Mumadikira kuti nsapato ina igwe

Taganizirani izi: Muli pachibwenzi ndipo zinthu zikuoneka kuti zikuyenda bwino. Ndinu osangalala, mumasangalala kukhala pamodzi, mukuyembekezera kudzakhala limodzi, yesetsani kuika zinthu zofunika patsogolo, ndipo tsiku lililonse mumamva kuti ndinu wolimba. Komabe, kumbuyo kwa malingaliro, funso limakuvutitsani nthawi zonse: "Bwanji ngati mnzanga akungonamizira kukhala wabwino chonchi?" kapena “Kodi akumuchitira zabwino chifukwa ali ndi chinachake chobisala?”

Zabwino zonse muubwenzi wanu zitha kuphimbidwa ndi kumverera kosalekeza komwe simungathe kusiya. Kungakupangitseninso kukhala wodzipatulira pang'ono . Devaleena akuti, "Nkhawa muubwenzi kapena kuwona maubwenzi oipa akale m'banja lanu laubwana kungakupangitseni kukhala motere. Ngati mwawona kusakhulupirika kapena zibwenzi muubwenzi wa makolo anu kapena kusadziwa bwino maubwenzi abwino, nthawi zonse mudzakupangitsani kufunsa mnzanu wanu wapano."

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2. Mumavutika kuganizira za ubale wanu pakapita nthawi 

Kodi mumamva kukhala osamasuka mukamakamba za kutalika kwa ubale wanu? Kodi funso loti "Izi zikupita kuti?" kuchokera kwa okondedwa anu zikuwoneka kukupangitsani kulephera kudziletsa kapena kutseka kwathunthu kwa iwo? Ngati abweretsa zinthu monga ukwati kapena ana, kodi mumafuna kulowera mbali ina?

Mumtima mwanu, mukuyembekezera chiwonongeko cha ubalewu, chifukwa tiyeni tivomereze, mukuganiza kuti ubalewu, monga china chilichonse, udzatha. Chikhulupiriro chamtunduwu chingapangitse ubale wanu kukhala woipa . Kuganiza nthawi zonse kuti, "Kodi cholinga cha ubalewu ndi chiyani?" sikwabwino chifukwa simunakhazikitse bwino ubalewu m'njira yomwe muyenera kukhala kuti nonse mukhale osangalala.

3. Snoopy ayenera kukhala dzina lanu lapakati

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti muvutike ndi nkhani zokhudza kudalirana ndichakuti mumayang'ana mnzanu ndi mafunso ambiri ngati akulankhulana naye kwa kanthawi kochepa osakuuzani pasadakhale, akuchedwa, kapena akucheza popanda inu. Munthu amene ali ndi vuto la kudalirana angayambe kumva kuti sakukondedwa muubwenzi ndikuyamba kuganizira kwambiri zinthu, zomwe zingamupangitse kuti ayankhe mafunso mwachangu.

Chifukwa chilichonse chomwe mnzako anganene chikuwoneka kuti chimakupangitsani kukhala omasuka, mumangoyang'ana. Ndipo mukuwerenga kwambiri. Kuyang'ana foni yawo kuti muwone mameseji atsopano a WhatsApp omwe ali nawo kapena kudziwa mwachinsinsi passcode yawo kuti mutha kuyang'ana foni yawo pomwe mnzanu akusamba - zonsezi zimakuwonjezerani kuzovuta zanu zakukhulupirirana.

4. Mumawakhulupirira…koma osati kwenikweni

Mungamwetulire mnzanu akamawerenga nkhani yoseketsa ya usiku wa atsikana ake koma maganizo anu akuyamba kale kusamukhulupirira. “Kodi analipo nthawi imeneyo?” kapena “Akundinamiza kuti unali usiku wa atsikana okha. Ndikutsimikiza kuti panali amuna kumeneko.” Chidwi chanu chimathera pakupeza mipata mu nkhani za mnzanu m'malo momvetsera moona mtima zomwe akunena. Mukuyesera kumvetsa “kwenikweni” zomwe anachita? Kodi pali tsatanetsatane amene akusiya? Kodi akubisa china chake? Kodi sakukuuzani chiyani? Ingolembani zimenezo, kukambirana kosavuta kungayambitse mkangano. Ndicho chimene nkhani zodalirana zimachitira ubale.

5. Mumadana akamapita kumalo opanda inu

Chizindikiro china chachikulu cha nkhani ya kudalirana ndichakuti lingaliro la malo aumwini muubwenzi limakupangitsani kukwera khoma. Kukhala kutali ndi mnzanu ndikwabwino paubwenzi uliwonse. Anthu ambiri amasangalala ndi malo aumwini omwe amapeza. Koma chifukwa cha mavuto anu odalirana, zimakhala zosiyana kwa inu. Mumadana ndi mnzanu akachoka popanda inu ndipo mumaganiza kuti ndi woipa kwambiri. Kusadalirana kwanu sikukulolani kuti mukhale otsimikiza za chilichonse.

Devaleena anati: “Nthawi zonse umalakalaka kukhala ndi munthu ameneyo ndipo nthawi zonse uzikhala pafupi ndi munthu ameneyo.

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6. Kuyambika mosavuta ndi chizindikiro kuti mukulimbana ndi nkhani zodalirika 

Zingakhale zododometsa kuona zomwe zimayambitsa kukhulupirirana mwa munthu. Mwachitsanzo, mawu osavuta opanda ma emojis amatha kukudetsani nkhawa kuti mnzanuyo akulemberana mameseji ndi munthu wina kumbali ndipo sakukondaninso. Nthawi zina, simudziwa chifukwa chomwe mukumvera komanso kukhala pachiwopsezo.

Muli ndi kusintha kwa maganizo komwe kumakupangitsani kuganizira zinthu zoipa kwambiri zomwe zingakuchitikireni ndipo mukugwa mumtima mwanu mokhumudwa. Kwa munthu amene ali kumbali ina kapena munthu amene akuona khalidweli, zingawoneke ngati mumakhulupirira zinthu popanda chifukwa. Komabe, si zoona. Zomwe mwakumana nazo m'mbuyomu ndi zomwe zimayambitsa mantha ndi kusadzidalira, zomwe zimakusiyani ndi dzenje m'mimba mwanu. Kusakhulupirirana kumakhala chibadwa ndipo simungathe kuletsa.

7. Nthawi zonse kuganiza za vuto lalikulu

Devaleena akutiuza kuti, "Nthawi zonse umakhala mumkhalidwe wodzitchinjiriza komanso wosamala kwambiri. Kukhala maso nthawi zonse, kuyesa kufunafuna zizindikiro zomwe wokondedwa wako ndi wosakhulupirika. Izi zithanso kukupangitsani kukhala odziteteza komanso kuyembekezera zinthu zoyipa nthawi zonse."

Mumayembekezera kuti mnzanuyo adzakuperekani ndipo nthawi zonse mumayang'ana zizindikiro zowopsa muubwenzi wanu , ndichifukwa chake kusokonezeka pang'ono muubwenzi wanu kumakupangitsani kuopa kwambiri—kuti akukunyengani, akukuperekani, akubisa zinthu kwa inu, kapena akukunamizani. Simukusowa umboni uliwonse kapena chizindikiro cha zolakwa zawo. Maganizo anu amakutsimikizirani kuti zomwe mukuganiza kuti ndi zoona.

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8. Ukuopa kuti mnzako angakuvulaze

Kaya munthu wina anakusiyanipo kale kapena munakhalapo ndi vuto la kudalirana, mukuyembekezera kuti kudalirana kwanu kudzatha pamapeto pake. Simukuyembekezera kuti mukhale paubwenzi wachikondi komanso wokhulupirika ndi mnzanu. Mukungoyembekezera kuti tsiku lina adzakupwetekeni.

Mumadandaula za momwe mnzanuyo angasonyezere "weniweni" tsiku lina ndi momwe zidzakuwonongerani inu kwathunthu. Zili ngati mukuyembekezera nthawi zonse kuti anthu akubayani pamsana chifukwa, pamaso panu, palibe amene ali wodalirika. Kuyimba kulikonse komwe mwaphonya, kusakhalapo mosadziwika bwino, ndewu iliyonse imakupangitsani kukhala wochepa thupi, "Chabwino, izi zikupita! Ndinangozidziwa. Ndinaziwona zikubwera kuchokera pa mtunda wa kilomita imodzi."

9. Mumavutika kutsegula maganizo 

Ngati mwaika chidaliro chanu mwa munthu wina ndipo mwakhumudwa chifukwa cha zimenezo, mungavutike kukulitsa kufooka muubwenzi wanu ndikuwonetsa malingaliro anu enieni. Mwachitsanzo, mungapewe kuuza mnzanu wanu za mantha anu kapena kusadzidalira kwanu, poopa kuti angakutsutseni kapena kukusiyani. Chifukwa chake, ngakhale mnzanuyo akakufunsani za tsiku lanu, m'malo mongolankhula za nthawi yovuta kuntchito, mumanyalanyaza, ndikunena kuti zonse "zili bwino", kusunga mtunda wamaganizo kuti mudziteteze. Izi zingapangitse kuti kulimbikitsa ubale wamaganizo kukhale kovuta, kukusiyani osatha kupanga ubale woposa wa pamwamba ndi mnzanu wanu wachikondi.

10. Mumafunikira chilimbikitso nthawi zonse 

Kodi mungakonde munthu wina osamukhulupirira? Kodi mungalole mnzanu wanu kukukondani ngati simumukhulupirira? Kodi mungapange ubale wabwino komanso wotetezeka popanda kudalirana? Ayi, ayi, ndipo ayi. Izi zili choncho chifukwa chakuti kudalirana kukakhala kosowa, nthawi zonse mumakayikira zolinga ndi zolinga za mnzanuyo.

Izi zikutanthawuza kufunika kolimbikitsidwa nthawi zonse. Mutha kufunsa wokondedwa wanu pafupipafupi ngati amakukondani kapena ali okondwa pachibwenzi. Mwachitsanzo, ngakhale atanena kuti “Ndimakukondani,” mungafunsebe mafunso ngati akuti, “Kodi mukutanthauzadi zimenezo?” kapena “Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti mukufuna kukhala ndi ine?” Kufunika kotsimikizirika kosalekeza kumeneku kungayambitse kukangana muubwenzi, monga momwe wokondedwa wanu angamve ngakhale atayesetsa bwanji, kuyesayesa kwawo sikukwanira.

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11. Mumasanthula mopambanitsa khalidwe la wokondedwa wanu 

Nkhani zosamala kwambiri komanso zodalirana nthawi zambiri zimakhalapo. Ngati zikukuvutani kudalira mnzanu , mutha kusanthula zochita ndi mawu ake onse, kufunafuna mawu obisika ndi matanthauzo obisika. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu sakuyankha meseji mwachangu, mungaganize kuti akutaya chidwi kapena akulankhula ndi wina. Kapena ngati akupita kukacheza ndi anzanu m'malo mocheza nanu, mungaone ngati chizindikiro chakuti mnzanuyo sakusangalala ndi kukhala nanu. Mwachidule, nthawi zonse mumayika mnzanuyo pansi pa sikirini, ngakhale atakhala kuti sanachite chilichonse chotsimikizira kukayikira kumeneku.

12. Mumayesa ubale wanu

Ngati mukuganiza kuti ubale wanu uyenera kuyesedwa ndipo mumachita nawo mchitidwewu nthawi zambiri, mukuwukhazikitsa kuti ulephere. Devaleena akuti, "Kuyesa ubale wanu, kuponyera mnzako zokhotakhota, kupanga zinthu zowononga kuti muwone ngati mnzanu akubera kapena kukupwetekani, zonsezi ndizizindikiro zazikulu zakukhulupirirana muubwenzi."

13. Mumathetsa zinthu zinthu zisanakupwetekeni (werengani: anthu).

Mukakhala ndi vuto la kudalirana, mumakonda kuchita zinthu zodzivulaza chifukwa simukufuna kupatsa wina mphamvu kapena mwayi wokupwetekani. Ngati mukhalabe, mumavulala. Koma ngati muchoka mwaufulu, mukusankha kuchoka kuti mudziteteze ku kusweka mtima. Ndipo mwanjira imeneyi, sizidzapweteka kwambiri. Kapena, ndi zomwe mukuganiza.

Devaleena akufotokoza kuti, "Mfundo yaikulu ya anthu omwe ali ndi nkhani zodalirika ndi yakuti nthawi yomwe amapeza chizindikiro chakuti wina sangakhulupirire, chibadwa chawo choyamba ndi kuthawa.

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N'chifukwa Chiyani Ndili Ndi Nkhani Zodalirika?

Tsopano popeza mwayang'ana za zikhulupiriro ndi momwe zimawonekera muubwenzi, ndi nthawi yoti tiyang'anenso mbali ina yofunika: chifukwa chiyani. Kuti mudziwe momwe mungakulitsire chikhulupiliro muubwenzi, choyamba muyenera kuthana ndi funso losasangalatsa, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi kukhulupirirana?" Monga takhala tikukambilana, kuyambira paubwana mpaka maubwenzi akale kapenanso makhalidwe akale a mnzako, zinthu zambiri zingakupangitseni kukhala osamala pokhulupirira munthu. Zina mwazifukwa zomwe zimachititsa kuti anthu azikhulupirirana ndi izi: 

• Kuwongolera makolo: Mukadakhala ndi ubwana wapoizoni komanso makolo omwe amakulamulirani nthawi zonse ndikukusakhulupirirani
• Nkhanza paubwana: Iwe ukanakhoza kukhala wozunzidwa nkhanza paubwana n’chifukwa chake munthu akakula sungakhulupirire munthu
• Kuzitenga kuchokera ku khalidwe la makolo: Ngati makolo anu anali osaona mtima kwa wina ndi mnzake, kukulira m’mikhalidwe yoteroyo kungakulepheretseni kukhulupirira wina aliyense 
• Kuwona chisudzulo chosokoneza: Mwina munaonapo makolo akusudzulana ndipo zoipa zonse zimene zingabwere zimakuchititsani kukhala kovuta kukhulupirira aliyense mosavuta.
• Kukhumudwa ndi munthu amene mumamukonda: Mnzanu wakale yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri mwina adakuperekani m'njira zomwe simunaganizire, ndipo zowawa zowopsa zidakupangitsani kuti musakhulupirirenso wina aliyense.
• Zochita za mnzanu: Mnzanuyo angakhale atachita zinazake—kunyenga, kunama, kubisa zinthu, kulephera kusonyeza kwa inu pamene munazifuna kwambiri—kuti musiye kuwakhulupirira.
• Kuopa kudzipereka ndi kuyandikana: Anthu ambiri amangoopa kukhala pachibwenzi komanso kuyandikana ndipo pamapeto pake amawononga ubale wawo ngakhale alibe chodetsa nkhawa.

Momwe Mungathetsere Nkhani Zodalirika

Sikophweka kukhala ndi zizindikiro za kusakhulupirirana muubwenzi kapena kungodutsa m'moyo wodzaza ndi mavuto okhulupirirana, osatha kumasuka ndi wina aliyense. Komabe, chifukwa chakuti zinthu zina zosasangalatsa m'moyo zakupangitsani kukhala zovuta kukhala osatetezeka ndikudalira anthu, sizikutanthauza kuti mudzakumana ndi mavuto oti muphonye maubwenzi akuya komanso ubale weniweni. Kuthetsa mavuto okhulupirirana n'kotheka. Nazi malangizo athu 7 othandizidwa ndi akatswiri a momwe mungathetsere mavuto okhulupirirana ndikulumikizana ndi mnzanu:

1. Vomerezani ndi kumvetsetsa nkhani zanu zodalirika

Mukaphunzira kuzindikira zizindikiro ndikuzindikira zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana, ganizirani zomwe zidakuchitikirani m'mbuyomu zomwe zingakhale zoyambitsa mavuto kwa inu. Kodi ndi kuperekedwa kwakale komwe simungathe kuiwala kapena kuvulala komwe sikunathetsedwe? Devaleena akuti, "Kumvetsetsa komwe mavuto anu okhudzana ndi kudalirana amachokera kungathandize kusintha momwe mumaonera zinthu, kukupangitsani kuona kulephera kwanu kudalirana ngati chinthu chomwe chachitika kwa inu osati chinthu chomwe chili cholakwika ndi inu."

Ndemanga 

Kulemba zolemba kumatha kukhala kothandiza kwambiri pozindikira zomwe zimayambitsa komanso zomwe zimayambitsa. Mukhoza kuyamba ndi kuzindikira ndi kulemba machitidwe a kusakhulupirirana, kuwonetsa zoyambitsa ndi momwe zimakhudzira khalidwe lanu ndikupangitsani kuti mukhale ndi maganizo. 

2. Lankhulani momasuka ndi wokondedwa wanu

Ponena za momwe mungapangire kukhulupirirana paubwenzi, Devaleena akuti, "Kulankhulana zosoŵa ndi kulola wokondedwa wathu kuti achitepo kanthu ndi kuzikwaniritsa ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri zolimbitsa chikhulupiriro. 

Kulankhula momveka bwino za mantha anu ndi nkhawa zanu ndi njira yabwino yothetsera mavuto okhudzana ndi kusadzidalira komanso kudalirana chifukwa zimadziwitsa mnzanu komwe mukuchokera. Chifukwa chake, nthawi ina mukayamba kukhumudwa ndi vuto linalake, dziwitsani mnzanuyo zomwe mukumva. Mwanjira imeneyi mutha kumupatsa mwayi woyankha mwachifundo, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuwona kuti vutoli silili loipa monga momwe mukuganizira.

Ndemanga 

Khalani ndi nthawi yokambirana ndi wokondedwa wanu za zomwe zikuyambitsani komanso kusakhulupirirana. Onetsetsani kuti ali pamalo oyenera kulandira ndi kukonza izi. Nthawi yoyenera ndiyofunikira. 

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3. Tsutsani maganizo oipa

Nkhani zodalirika komanso zowononga nthawi zambiri zimakhala mbali ziwiri za ndalama imodzi. Kuti muthane ndi nkhani zodalirika, muyenera kuphwanya dongosololi. Devaleena akulangiza, "Kutsutsa malingaliro athu opanda nzeru kungakhale chida champhamvu chothetsera kusakhulupirirana ndikupanga malo oganiza bwino komanso odekha."

Kotero, nthawi ina mukaganiza kuti mnzanu sanayankhe uthenga wanu chifukwa akugona ndi wina kapena akukunamizani, ganiziraninso bwino ndipo dziuzeni kuti mwina ali otanganidwa. Mukachita izi pafupipafupi, mutha kuletsa kusakhulupirirana.

Ndemanga 

Maganizo olakwika akayamba kukugwirani m’maganizo mwanu, m’malo mowalola kuti ayambe kukulamulirani, imani kaye n’kuganizira kuti, “Kodi pali umboni weniweni wotsimikizira zimenezi, kapena ndimangoganizira zimene zinkachitika m’mbuyomu?”

4. Chitanipo kanthu kuti mwana akhale pachiwopsezo

Momwe mungapangire chidaliro muubwenzi, mukudabwa? Yankho likhoza kuwoneka lochititsa mantha koma ndilofunika kwambiri - kulola kuti mukhale osatetezeka pamaso pa mnzanuyo. Yambani pang'ono pofotokoza za kusatetezeka pang'ono, mantha, kapena zomwe zidachitika kale. Onani momwe mnzanu akuyankhira. Ngati amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka ndipo osakuweruzani kapena kukunyozani, pang'onopang'ono mutha kutembenukira ku zokambirana zosasangalatsa. 

Ndemanga 

Zitha kukuthandizani kuti muyambe kufotokoza za mantha kapena kusatetezeka komwe mwatha kuwongolera kapena kugonjetsa. Nenani, mantha aubwana, ndiyeno phunzirani ku mitu yofunikira komanso yofunikira. Izi zimathandiza kukulitsa ubwenzi wapamtima. 

5. Mpatseni mnzanuyo ubwino wokayikakayika

M'malo mongoganiza kuti mnzanuyo ndi woipa, apatseni chifukwa chokayikira. M'malo mongonena kuti, “O, sanandiimbire foni tsiku lonse, ndikutsimikiza kuti akutaya chidwi ,” dziuzeni kuti, “Ngati sanandiimbire foni, ziyenera kuti zili choncho chifukwa sangathe.” Onani mnzanuyo kuchokera pamalo odalirika ndipo mudzakhala mutayamba kuyika maziko a chidaliro muubwenzi wanu. Zachidziwikire, izi sizikutanthauza kunyalanyaza zizindikiro zowopsa koma kulola mpata wokhala ndi cholinga chabwino.

Ndemanga 

Wokondedwa wanu akachita chinthu chomwe chimakupangitsani kuti musamukhulupirire, dzifunseni kuti, "Kodi ndikanatani ngati ndikanawakhulupirira ndi mtima wonse?"

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6. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Nkhani zokhulupirira nthawi zambiri zimakhala zozama kwambiri ndipo sizingatheke kuti muthane nazo nokha-kapena mothandizidwa ndi okondedwa anu. Zikatero, zingakhale zothandiza kugwira ntchito ndi dokotala kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo kuti akufotokozereni zakale ndikusintha kusakhulupirirana ndi anthu athanzi. Devaleena akuti, "Kuchiza kumapereka malo otetezeka kuti mufotokozere mantha anu ndikumanganso chikhulupiriro m'malo otetezeka, owongolera."

Ndemanga

Yang'anani katswiri wodziwa bwino ntchito zamaganizo kapena uphungu yemwe ali ndi chilolezo chothana ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana muubwenzi. Kodi mumadziwa kuti mutha kupeza chithandizo kuchokera kunyumba kwanu kudzera m'magawo apa intaneti? Ngati mukufuna kufufuza zimenezo, akatswiri amisala odziwa bwino ntchito komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

7. Muziganizira kwambiri za panopa, osati zakale

Monga tafotokozera, nkhani zodalirana zimachokera ku zomwe zidachitika kale. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu walephera kubwera kudzakuthandizani panthawi yovuta kwambiri—monga pamene munali kudwala ndipo munkafunika thandizo lachipatala—simungamukhulupirire kuti angabwerenso panthawi yomwe mukufuna thandizo chifukwa “ndicho chimene anachita nthawi yomaliza.” Komabe, kuwonetsa mavuto akale pazochitika zomwe zikuchitika panopa kungawononge ubale . Ndikofunikira kudziletsa nokha ndikukhalabe ndi moyo panopa mwa kuyang'ana kwambiri zochita za mnzanuyo panopa, osati kusakhulupirika kwa m'mbuyomu.

Ndemanga

Nthawi zonse mukaona kuti kusakhulupirirana kwanu kukuyamba kuonekera chifukwa chakuti zinthu zikufanana modabwitsa ndi zimene munakumana nazo m’mbuyomu, dziuzeni kuti, “Ubwenzi/mkhalidwe uwu ndi wosiyana.

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Maganizo Final

Kukhala ndi nkhani zodalirika kumatha kukhala chinthu chodzipatula chifukwa kumakulepheretsani kupanga malumikizano enieni. Komabe, ndi kuyesayesa kosalekeza ndi kosalekeza, ndithudi mungaphunzire kukulitsa chidaliro muubwenzi wanu. Inde, palibe chitsimikizo kuti mnzanuyo kapena munthu wina amene mumamukhulupirira sangakupwetekeni, koma ngati muchitadi ntchito kuti mudutse nkhani zanu zodalirika, mudzaphunzira kuthana ndi zochitikazo popanda kuzilola kuti zikhudze zochita zanu zamtsogolo. Zimenezi zingakuthandizenidi kusintha moyo wanu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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