Pali nkhani zingapo zomwe zimatiuza za momwe kusamalira apongozi achikulire kunawonongera ukwati kwa anthu ena. Zimamveka zodzikonda, zosaganizira ena, komanso zopanda ulemu kwambiri koma siziyenera kukhala zinthu zonsezi. Ukwati ndi wovuta mwa iwowokha, ndi kulolerana ndi zosintha zonse zomwe okwatirana ayenera kupanga kuti chombo chapakhomo chisasunthike. Onjezani ku apongozi awo omwe amadalira inu kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino komanso zosowa zofunika kwambiri komanso momwe banja lanu lingakhalire lovuta kwambiri.
Kukhala m'banja limodzi ku India kumabwera ndi mndandanda wautali wa mavuto. Nthawi zina zimenezi zingayambitse vuto losankha pakati pa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi kholo lanu lokalamba chifukwa chakuti sakugwirizana. Ngakhale kuti zikuoneka ngati zovuta, m'mabanja ambiri zimakhala zovuta. Winawake amene ali ndi vuto lofanana ndi limeneli anatifunsa funso lomwe lili pansipa. Katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso mphunzitsi wodziwa bwino ntchito za moyo Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana zokhudza thanzi la maganizo, kuphatikizapo LGBTQ ndi uphungu wachinsinsi, amayankha funsoli kwa iwo komanso kwa ife masiku ano.
Kusamalira Kukusokoneza Ukwati Wanga
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Q. Ndakhala ndi ukwati wokonzedwa ndipo tikukhala limodzi m'banja limodzi. Apongozi anga apuma pantchito ya usilikali ndipo zinthu zakhala zikuyenda bwino kwambiri. Popeza ndi okalamba, nthawi zina amakhala ndi mavuto azaumoyo. Posachedwapa, adadwala sitiroko ndipo sagona pabedi. Apongozi anga nawonso amakhala pabedi chifukwa cha matenda awo ndipo sangathe kuthandiza kusamalira mwamuna wawo. Ndife banja lopeza ndalama ziwiri ndipo ndikuvutika kwambiri ndikuyesera kukwaniritsa zosowa za aliyense - kuphatikizapo ana anga (tili ndi awiri). Sindingasiye kugwira ntchito chifukwa ndalama zanga ndi zomwe zimalipira anamwino awo komanso kugona kuchipatala pafupipafupi. Mwamuna wanga akudziwa kuti kupsinjika maganizo kwandipangitsa kukhala ndi matenda a shuga koma palibe chomwe angachite. Mwachionekere, kusamalira apongozi okalamba kunawononga ukwati kwathunthu.
Posachedwapa, mnzanga wina anandiuza kuti ndilankhule naye za kuwasamutsira kumalo osungirako anthu okalamba, koma sindingathe kukambirana naye za nkhaniyi. Ndifenso mdera lomwe timayembekezeka kuti tizisamalira makolo kotero kuti kholo lokalamba likusokoneza banja sidandaulo lomwe aliyense angavomereze. Mwamuna wanga ndi mwana omvera koma saona kuti ngakhale ana athu akuvutika chifukwa amakayang’anira agogo akabwera kusukulu. Izi zikulepheretsa nthawi yawo yophunzira ndi zina zotero. Zinthu zikutivuta monga banja ndipo ndikudziwa kuti sitingakhale motere kwa nthawi yayitali. Kodi nditani? Sindikufuna kukhala munthu amene akupanga mwamuna wake kusankha pakati pa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ndi kholo lokalamba koma ndikuwona ngati sindiri ndi chisankho china chilichonse.
Kuchokera kwa katswiri:
Yankho: Ndikumvetsa momwe zinthu zilili zovuta, chifukwa cha anthu onse okhudzidwa. Kudziimba mlandu, kukwiyira, mkwiyo, ndi nkhawa zitha kukhala zomwe zimatsogolera mantha anu motero kusankha komwe mungafune kupanga. Kuchokera pamene ndikuyang'ana, zikuwoneka kuti nonse mukufunikira chisamaliro cham'maganizo, ndi luso lothana ndi vuto lomwe mwalongosola; tisanakambirane za kusintha mkhalidwewo. Anthu athana nazo ndipo ali ndi kuthekera kothana ndi ziwopsezo zazikulu kuposa zomwe moyo wathu wamakono umabweretsa.
Kugwirizana kwanu ndi ntchito yanu kukuoneka kuti kwasokonekera, ndichifukwa chake mukuganiza kuti kusamalira apongozi anu okalamba kwawononga ukwati wanu ndi mwamuna wanu. Palibe vuto kunena kuti apongozi anu asamutsidwire ku malo osamalira okalamba ngati muli otsimikiza za momwe kusamalira okalamba kumakhudzira ukwati; komabe, kodi mukuganiza kuti zimenezo zingakhudzenso ubale wanu ndi mwamuna wanu? Tiyeni tiwone njira zomwe tili nazo zothetsera vutoli. Mutha kugwiritsa ntchito chimodzi kapena zingapo mwa izi:
- Lembani thandizo kapena namwino kuti abwere kudzawasamalira panthawi yomwe palibe aliyense wa inu angathe
- yesani chithandizo ndi uphungu chifukwa cha chithandizo chamalingaliro chomwe mwachiwonekere mukufunikira ndikupeza luso lothana ndi vuto lanu
- Pezani maola okhazikika (maola osachepera anayi pa sabata) kuti muchite zomwe mumakonda komanso zosangalatsa komanso zosangalatsa. Sindingatsimikize kufunika kokhala ndi nthawi ndi inu nokha. Phatikizani yoga ndi kusinkhasinkha muzochita zanu
- Yang’anani malo osamalira ana a apongozi anu ndi kuwona mmene makonzedwe amenewo amawathandizira
Kuti muthe kuchita chilichonse mwa njira zomwe zili pamwambazi kapena zina, kumbukirani kuti kukhala ndi malingaliro oyenera ndikofunikira. Kukulitsa matenda akuthupi monga kuyankha ku kukondoweza kosasangalatsa ndi vuto lodziyimira pawokha pazoyambitsa zomwe mukukumana nazo; kaya ndikusamalira apongozi kapena kuyang'anira mavuto apakhomo ndi akatswiri. Chifukwa chake, izi zikuyenera kupezeka padera ndikuyankhidwa m'njira yomwe imayang'ana pachimake cha nkhaniyo osati momwe zimayambira. Ndikukhulupirira kuti zinali zothandiza.
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Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Kusamalira Okalamba Kukhudza Ukwati?
Izi ndizovuta kwa onse awiri omwe ali pachibwenzi. Kumbali ina, mwamuna kapena mkazi amalemedwa ndi udindo wosamalira apongozi awo; ndipo winayo ayenera kupirira vuto la kusankha pakati pa wokwatirana naye ndi makolo. Kukhalabe odekha ndi kukhala oganiza bwino m'banja ngati ili ndi ntchito yabwino kwambiri.
Tsopano popeza katswiriyu wafotokoza momwe munthu angathanirane ndi nkhani ya makolo okalamba komanso mavuto a m'banja omwe amabwera chifukwa cha nkhaniyi, Bonobology tsopano ifufuza mozama zomwe zingachite pankhaniyi. Kodi makolo okalamba akuwononga ukwati ndikukukakamizani kuti mupite patsogolo? Tiyeni tikambirane zomwe muyenera kuchita kenako. Werengani patsogolo ndi chifundo chochepa:
1. Pewani masewera olakwa
Ngati muyamba kuimba mlandu mnzanu kapena makolo awo, zidzangowonjezera mavuto m'banja mwanu. Yankho silikhala lolowana ndi zala. Choncho pewani kudzudzulana ngakhale mutamva kuti kusamalira okalamba kumakhudza ukwati wanu. Dziwani momwe kusankha pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi kholo lokalamba kumavutiranso kwambiri kwa mnzanuyo. Muuzeni nkhawa zanu koma osamukakamiza. Kumbukirani, vutoli likhoza kukhudzanso mnzanuyo, koma pazochitika zotere, palibe zosankha zambiri.
2. Muziika patsogolo mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu
N'zotheka kuti maudindo olemetsa apakhomo mwina adapangitsa kuti ubale wanu unyalanyazidwe. Yakwana nthawi yoti mukonze zimenezo mwa kuyesetsa kwambiri muukwati . M'malo moganizira momwe kusamalira apongozi okalamba kunawonongera ukwati wanu, tengani njira kuti musapitirire mu chizolowezi chomwecho. Yakwana nthawi yoti musiye kukhumudwa ndi izi ndikuchitapo kanthu pa ubale wanu.
Kaya zimadabwitsa mkazi wanu ndi chakudya chamadzulo chowunikira makandulo, kuyesa china chatsopano pabedi kapena kuthandiza ana ndi homuweki yawo kuti mnzanuyo apeze nthawi yabwino pamodzi, ndi nthawi yosintha zinthu mu ubale wanu pang'onopang'ono. Titha kuona mmene kusamalira okalamba kumakhudzira ukwati koma udindo wokonza zinthu uli pa inu monga banja.
3. Pezani chithandizo kuchokera ku CNA
Kodi mwatopa ndi kudandaula nthawi zonse ndi kuganiza kuti, “Kusamalira okalamba kukuwononga ukwati wanga”? Kungokhalira kulingalirabe pa lingaliro limenelo ndi kusakhoza kuchita chirichonse pa ilo kungangopangitsa zinthu kuipiraipira. Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kuchita zina zomwe zimagwira ntchito bwino kwa onse okhudzidwa.
Popeza simungathe kusamalira ana anu nokha, ganizirani kulemba ntchito wothandizira anamwino wovomerezeka kapena CNA kuti akuchitireni ntchitoyi. Kusamalira ana kunyumba kungathandize kwambiri makolo anu ndikukuthandizani kuti mupambane m'banja lanu. Pambuyo pake, simungadandaule za makolo okalamba omwe akuwononga ukwati chifukwa iyi ndi njira yotsimikizika yomwe ingasangalatse aliyense.
Mwachidule ndi chosavuta, potsirizira pake timafika kumapeto kwa chiŵerengero cha mavuto a ukwati wa makolo okalamba ndi zimene tingachite kuti awathetse. Kumbukirani, muli ndi ufulu wokhala ndi udindo m'banja mwanu koma muyenerabe kukhala okoma mtima ndi otonthoza kwa okalamba m'banja mwanu momwe mungathere.
Ibibazo
Zingathekedi. Kukhalapo kwawo nthawi zonse komanso kukwaniritsa zosowa zawo kungawononge ubale wa okwatirana; kupatula apo, pakhoza kukhala nthawi zambiri zovuta pamene mukukhala m'banja limodzi. Izi zingayambitse mavuto aakulu kwa okwatiranawo.
Kudzipangira nokha malo ndikukhala ndi nthawi ziwiri ndizovuta pamene apongozi achikulire amakhala nanu. M’malo mosamalira banja lanu, nthawi yanu yambiri ndi mphamvu zanu mumathera powasamalira. Kuika patsogolo ukwati wanu popanda kunyalanyaza zosoŵa za apongozi achikulire okhala nanu ndiyo njira yabwino yosonyezera kuti wina savutika chifukwa cha mnzake.
Muyenera kuthandiza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu powathandiza komanso makolo awo. Samalirani makolo a mnzako koma dzisamalirenso wekha ndi okondedwa wako. Thanzi loipa la makolo awo liyenera kukhala lovutitsa maganizo kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo angamve chisoni chifukwa chosakhoza kukupatsani nthaŵi yokwanira ndi kuika ntchito yonseyi ndi chitsenderezo pa inu.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
