Kodi mwazindikira kuti upangiri waubwenzi kwa amuna nthawi zambiri umasokoneza kutanthauza kuti amuna akuchokera ku Mars ndi akazi ochokera kudziko lina? M’buku lachidule la Dr. John Gray limene tikunena pano, iye anati, “Sikokwanira kungonena zoona zokhazokha, kuti mupambane pa chibwenzi muyenera kuganizira mmene inunso mungamvekere.” Choncho, kuti muwonetsetse kuti zoyesayesa zanu ndi zolinga zanu zikumasuliridwa molondola, zingathandize kumva kuchokera kwa amayi zomwe akufuna kwa amuna.
Chabwino, ma nuggets a upangiri waukatswiri wa ubale kuchokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi wolemba, onse omwe ndi akazi, ali pafupi kwambiri momwe mungafikire kuti chikhumbocho chikwaniritsidwe. Kulandira uphungu waubwenzi kuchokera kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi kungathetse chisokonezo ponena za chifukwa chimene zinthu zina m’mbuyomo mwina zinachitikira momwemo. Koma malangizo a moyo wina kwa mwamuna sangagwire ntchito kwa winayo.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake tinakambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa CBT, REBT, ndi uphungu wa okwatirana, kuti mudziwe momwe mungathanirane ndi mavuto ofanana bwino mtsogolo. Ndiye mwamuna ayenera kuchita chiyani pachibwenzi? Tiyeni tipeze yankho.
Amuna Ndi Akazi Paubwenzi - Kusiyana Kwakukulu
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Tisanapereke upangiri wa akatswiri pazaubwenzi, tidaganiza kuti tithane ndi kusiyana kwa jenda komwe aliyense amangokambirana, komabe palibe amene amavomereza. Amuna okondedwa, tikutsimikiza kuti mumapeza nkhawa zambiri zaulere komanso malingaliro abwino ochokera kwa abale ozizira komanso abambo anzeru omwe amakhala okonzeka nthawi zonse ndi malingaliro andale komanso malangizo a chibwenzi kwa amuna. Kotero ife tinaganiza kuti tiphatikize nzeru za onse awiri: Zochitika za akazi ndi amuna mu maubwenzi. Yang'anani.
| Akazi mu maubwenzi | Amuna mu maubwenzi |
| Akazi amakonda pamene amuna ali pachiwopsezo ndi iwo | Ndizovuta kuti abambo akhale pachiwopsezo chifukwa cha miyambo yosiyanasiyana ya anthu |
| Azimayi amayesetsa kuti azidziwana mozama | Amuna ambiri amatengapo gawo pokonzekera madeti oganiza bwino |
| Amuna safuna kukhala odziwika mu maubwenzi ndipo amafuna kuti akazi amvetsetse kuti ukazi supanga malo kwa amuna ambiri. | Amuna safuna kukhala odziwika mu maubwenzi ndipo amafuna kuti akazi amvetsetse kuti ukazi supanga malo kwa amuna ambiri. |
| Amayi amafuna kumveka bwino za ubale wawo komanso kuwunika pafupipafupi | Amuna amafuna kuti akazi afotokoze zomwe akufuna momveka bwino kuti amvetsetsane bwino |
| Azimayi amafunika nthawi yoti akhulupirire mwamuna ali pabedi, ngakhale kuti amayendetsedwa mofanana ndi kugonana | Amuna ambiri amakhala okonzeka kugonana asanakhale akazi |
| Azimayi amafuna kuti nthawi ya honeymoon ikhale nthawi yayitali | Amuna ambiri satha kukoka chisangalalo choyambirira kwa miyezi ingapo |
| Amayi amatha kuyankhula ndi anzawo apamtima, achibale, kapena magulu othandizira za ubale wawo wachikondi | Amuna nthawi zambiri safotokoza mwatsatanetsatane zomwe zimawapangitsa kukhala osangalala kapena achisoni muubwenzi. Izi zimawapangitsa kudzimva kukhala osungulumwa |
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Ubale Malangizo Kwa Amuna - 23 Ovomereza Malangizo Ndi Katswiri
“Tikadamvetsa zomwe akazi amafuna muubwenzi,” amuna nthawi zambiri amafuna. Mwamuna akayamba chibwenzi, amapempha thandizo kwa mnzake kapena munthu wodalirika wamkazi - kaya ndi chifukwa chosankha njira yoyenera yomufunsira chibwenzi, kunena kuti “Ndimakukonda” koyamba, kumupempha kuti asamukire, kapena kukonzekera chibwenzi chachikondi kwambiri.
Pankhani ya maupangiri paubwenzi kwa abambo, bwenzi lachikazi limakhala ndi chidziwitso chochulukirapo kuposa mabwenzi ake achimuna. Koma ngati mulibe bwenzi lodalirika m'moyo wanu - kapena ndi amene mukuyesera kumunyengerera - kusankha njira yoyenera kungakhale ulendo wosungulumwa kuti muyambe. Osadandaula. Tili ndi upangiri wabwino kwambiri wamayanjano kwa anyamata achichepere kwa amuna akulu. Nawa maupangiri athu 23 ovomereza kuti tizikumbukira mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mkazi:
1. Osamusamalira
Uwu ndi upangiri wathu wabwino kwambiri pa momwe mungakhalire mwamuna wabwino muubwenzi. Osalankhula monyoza , chonde. “Ndikuuzeni chifukwa chake…” – Mukangotsegula chiganizo ndi mawu awa, mwayi wanu wopita patsogolo umachepa. Izi ndi zomwe ndiyenera kupewa ngati mukufuna kumanga ubale wabwino ndi mkazi.
Kaya mukufuna upangiri woyamba paubwenzi kwa anyamata kapena omwe adakondana kale, kufunika kopewa kunyoza akazi sikungakhale kokwanira. Musaganize kuti mukudziwa zomwe zili zabwino kwa iye, kaya muubwenzi kapena zosankha za moyo. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akugawana nkhani yake yoseketsa yokhudza kupha munthu, "Amalume anga amakonda kulankhula monyoza za malingaliro olakwika kwambiri okhudza kusamba, kubereka, majini, kapena kusiyana kwa thupi pakati pa amuna ndi akazi. Ngati ndikangana, amaumirira kuti sindikudziwa zomwe ndikunena."
Iye ananenanso kuti: “Iye ndi kalipentala. Okondedwa amuna, mukuiona nkhaniyo? Ngakhale kuti muli pachibwenzi, mulibe bizinesi yomuuza momwe angakhalire moyo wake, yemwe ayenera kucheza naye, kapena zomwe akufuna kuchita. Zoonadi, ngati muli kale pachibwenzi, monga bwenzi lake, muli ndi ufulu wopereka malingaliro anu ndi zidziwitso zanu. Malingana ngati mukukumbukira izi sizimangirira pa iye.
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2. Musanyoze maganizo ake
Mosakayikira ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe mwamuna aliyense ayenera kusiya kuchita mu ubale wake, komabe amuna ambiri amakonda kusokoneza malingaliro a mnzawo ndikuwapatsa zovuta. Nthawi zambiri mosadziwa, chifukwa sangagwirizane nawo. Kumva ukunena zinthu monga “Sindikukhulupirira kuti wakwiya ndi chinthu chopusa” kapena “Ukulira pachipewa” kumapweteka kwambiri.
Kodi kukhala mwamuna wabwino mu ubwenzi? Zosavuta. Chilichonse chimene mungachite, musaimbe mlandu maganizo ake pa PMS. Malangizo apaubwenzi ndi anunso amuna apabanja. Mnyamata wina yemwe ndinali pachibwenzi ankakonda kufunsa ngati tsiku langa la kusamba linali pafupi ndikakhumudwa ndi zinazake. Zinandikwiyitsa kwambiri moti ndinagula t-sheti yomwe inati, “Si PMS, ndi iweyo!” Ngakhale simungamvetse chifukwa chake akuchita zinazake momwe alili, vomerezani momwe akumvera. “Pepani kuona kuti mwakhumudwa chifukwa sichinali cholinga changa kukukhumudwitsani” imagwira ntchito bwino kwambiri.
3. Osayesa kwambiri kuti ukhale wozizira
Chizoloŵezi china chofala pakati pa amuna akamayesa kugometsa mtsikana kapena kumugonjetsera ndi chakuti amapita mopitirira muyeso kuti adziwoneke ngati Bambo Cool. Azimayi ambiri sasamala za izo. Mumadzadzipanga zopusa. Nawa maupangiri aubwenzi omwe mumawafuna kwambiri: Dzichitireni zabwino komanso zokonda zachikondi, khalani chomwe muli. Ngakhale zitakhala kuti ndi zamanyazi, zamanyazi, kapena zododometsa, sizingamulepheretse kuchita monga momwe angachitire.
Uwu ndi upangiri wofunikira kwambiri kwa anyamata pankhani ya chibwenzi choyamba. Ndikumvetsa kuti ngati simunakhalepo pachibwenzi kale, mantha a chibwenzi choyamba akhoza kukulirakulira koma kusakhulupirika sikungakuthandizeni. Nandita akuti, "Pofuna kutsimikiza kuti mtsikana amene mukumupondereza nayenso akukondani, mungayesere kwambiri kuti mumukope. Zimenezo zingakubweretsereni mavuto." Iye akuwonjezera upangiri wa moyo kwa mwamuna wosadzidalira amene akufuna kufunsa wina kuti: "Pumirani mpweya wambiri ndikukhala amene muli."
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4. Mdyerekezi ndiye tsatanetsatane
Khalani ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa zambiri. Ngati mumvetsera ndi kukumbukira zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimamukhudza, mudzamugwira mtima nthawi yomweyo. Nandita akuti, "Zingakupangitseni kuti muone ngati maso anu sakuyendayenda apa kapena apo, komanso ngati simukuyang'ana akazi ena . Samalani ndi thupi lanu. Yang'anani pa iye."
Chizoloŵezi chophweka monga kunyamula milkshake yomwe amamukonda kwambiri panjira yokumana naye kapena kukumbukira kuyitanitsa maolivi owonjezera pa pizza yake ndikwanira kusungunula mtima wake. Ndiroleni ndikupatseni maupangiri aubwenzi kuchokera muukwati wanga womwe. Mwamuna wanga, mwachitsanzo, amandichezera mwachipembedzo usiku uliwonse ngati ndalandira mankhwala anga a endometriosis. Ndimaona kuti ndizosangalatsa.
Pamene ndinali kumuchezera kamodzi komwe tinali pachibwenzi, anali atadzaza nyumba ndi zinthu zomwe ndimakonda. Kuchokera ku khofi yomwe ndimakonda kwambiri mpaka kufalikira kwa masangweji, mkate wa multigrain, komanso ngakhale gel osamba ndi mafuta a thupi, zonse zinali pamenepo. Zimene anachitazi zinandichititsa kuti ndisathe kuletsa misozi kutsika. Ndipo monga choncho, ndinadziwa kuti iye ndiye! Mukuwona momwe zinthu zing'onozing'ono zingasonyezere mbali yanu yachifundo ndi yosamalira. Izi ndi zomwe amayi ambiri amafuna mwa okondedwa.
5. Khalani owona mtima za chibwenzi chanu zolinga
Ngati mukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi, kaya kudzera pa mapulogalamu ochezera pa intaneti kapena IRL, nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala omasuka komanso oona mtima pa zolinga zanu. Kaya mukufuna chibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali, chibwenzi chosavuta, kapena kukhala ndi chibwenzi cha usiku umodzi, onetsetsani kuti mwachifotokozera poyamba. Nandita akuti, "Amuna enieni apeza njira yabwino kwambiri yokhalira okongola kwa akazi . Kuona mtima ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndipo kumalankhula zambiri za khalidwe la mwamuna."
Kumbali inayi, sipangakhale choyimitsa choyipa kuposa munthu amene amadzinamiza kuti ali ndi chidwi ndi mkazi pomwe zomwe akufuna ndikulowa mu thalauza lake. Kuseweretsa ndi mtima wa mtsikana ndikumupangitsa kumva kuti ndinu wokondana kwambiri ndi iye kuti mungodzitengera kuchitapo kanthu ndi zina mwazinthu zomwe mwamuna weniweni sayenera kuchita. Malangizo olimba a momwe mungakhalire mwamuna wabwino paubwenzi: Mwamuna, muuzeni zomwe mukufuna, ndipo phunzirani kumuyankha, chirichonse chomwe chingakhale, pachibwano.
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6. Nthawi zonse muziika chilolezo patsogolo
Wogwiritsa ntchito Quora anati, “Ngati simungavomereze, simuyenera kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wina aliyense.” Uwu ndi upangiri wofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi kwa anyamata achichepere koma umagwira ntchito kwa amuna azaka zonse. Musalole kuti kuthamanga kwa mahomoni kulamulire malingaliro anu ndikukukakamizani kufika poti mukuzunza munthu mosadziwa. Nthawi zochepa zosangalatsa zimenezo zingakhale ndi zotsatirapo zoopsa kwa moyo wonse kwa munthu amene sakufuna.
Amuna okwatira ayeneranso kusamala ndi izi. Kaya ndi nthawi yanu yoyamba kukhala ndi mnzanu watsopano kapena chibwenzi chanu cha zaka 100, nthawi zonse funsani chilolezo chake musanachite chibwenzi. Ngati mukufuna kusonyeza kuti ndinu olimba, onetsani mphamvu mwa kudziletsa. Ndipo kumbukirani kuti ayi amatanthauza ayi. Kaya muli paubwenzi wotani komanso wogwirizana.
Nandita ali ndi upangiri wakuya waubwenzi kwa amuna, "Ngati wokondedwa wako akufuna zambiri, amakufunsani. Kuvomereza musanayambe kugonana sikungakambirane. Zachikondi zambiri zomwe zikuchitika masiku ano zili m'dziko lazibwenzi zapaintaneti. Kusamalira malire ndi kofunikanso. Ndipo sungani ulemu ngakhale pa nsanja zapaintaneti. Kulimbikira kumeneku ndikoyenera, ndikhulupirireni."
7. Momwe mungakhalire mwamuna wabwino pachibwenzi: Muyimireni
Kodi mwamuna ayenera kuchita chiyani paubwenzi kuti asonyeze thandizo kwa mkazi wake panthawi yamavuto? Chabwino, zosiyana ndi zomwe mnzake wa Grace anachita. Kwa Grace, wojambula zadongo ku Arizona, chochitika chimodzi chosapeza mnzake atayima pambali pake pomwe amamufuna kwambiri chidathetsa ubale wazaka zitatu. Anali kupita kumalo ake pamene gulu la anyamata linayamba kutsata galimoto yake. Anamuimbira mobwerezabwereza Eric kuti akumane naye pakati koma sanayankhe foni yake.
Komanso sanasamale zomuyimbiranso ngakhale atasiya maimelo 15 kapena kupitilira apo. Mosafunikira kunena, mkangano waukulu unayambika. Anapereka malingaliro obisala kuti mwina kutalika kwa diresi yake ndi komwe kunapangitsa kuti anyamata aja amutsatire. Anazisiya pomwepo ndipo sanayang'ane mmbuyo.
Ngati mwapita kukafunafuna upangiri waubwenzi kuchokera ku malingaliro a mkazi, mwina mukudziwa kufunika kwake. Pali njira zambiri zolemekezera mkazi muubwenzi : Akazi amafuna ndipo amayembekezera kuti okondedwa awo awateteze. Izi sizimangogwira ntchito pankhondo zakuthupi zokha, komanso zamaganizo. Thandizo lanu lamaganizo, mukuyima pafupi naye, m'malo momuuza kuti asiye, abwerere m'mbuyo, kapena choipa kwambiri, muzimuimba mlandu chifukwa cha "kupempha," zikutanthauza dziko kwa iye. Ndipo zimenezo zikutifikitsa pa mfundo yotsatira.
8. Mukhulupirireni akakuuzani za nkhanza zakale
Uwu ndi ulemu wofunikira ndipo sizikukhudza mbali iti ya #MeToo yomwe mugweramo. Palibe phindu lenileni kuti akunamizeni za izi. Amangofuna kuti mudziwe zomwe wakumana nazo. Mutha kukhalapo chifukwa cha iye, poyamba muzimukhulupirira. Nazi malangizo ena okhudza ubale wanu munjira ya kafukufuku , "Anthu ambiri omwe agwiriridwa sazindikira kuti ndi kugwiriridwa, ngakhale zitagwirizana ndi tanthauzo la malamulo, zomwe zapezeka mu ndemanga ya maphunziro 28." Onani momwe imanenera kuti 'anthu', osati akazi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake timati "khulupirirani opulumuka" chifukwa nthawi zambiri, sadzikhulupirira okha.
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9. Mumvetseni musanasunthe
Kodi kuntchito kwanu kuli mtsikana amene simukumuyang'ana? Kapena mwina, mudalumikizana ndi winawake pa pulogalamu ya zibwenzi yemwe akupangitsa mtima wanu kulumpha kugunda chikwi. Chisonkhezero chofuna kuchitapo kanthu pa kukopeka koyambirira kumeneku chingakhale champhamvu kwambiri. Malangizo anga paubwenzi kwa amuna omwe ali muubwenzi watsopano ndikugwira akavalo awo panthawiyi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake:
- Zimakhala bwino kwa nonse kupeza nthawi yodziwana bwino musanalowe
- Zidzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda, ndikuwona ngati ndinu oyenerera musanamufunse
- Izi zikuwonetsa kukhudzika ndi kufuna kupanga ubale wapamtima kumbali yanu
Bwenzi langa, Sheena, anayenera kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mnyamata amene ankamukonda kwambiri ndipo anali naye pa maulendo angapo chifukwa ankaopa agalu ndipo iye anali ndi agalu awiri akuluakulu kunyumba. "Ndinaganiza kuti tonse tinafunsa mafunso oyenera pa tsiku loyamba ndipo tinayamba kukambirana chifukwa tinayamba kukambirana nthawi yomweyo. Mwanjira ina, nkhani ya ziweto sinabwere, ndipo pamapeto pake, inakhala vuto lalikulu!" iye anatero.
10. Landirani mbali yake yokhudzika
Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe mwamuna ayenera kuchita paubwenzi. Azimayi ambiri ndi otengeka maganizo, okhudzidwa. Ngakhale iwo amene aumitsidwa ndi mikhalidwe yawo. Ngati mukufuna kuti ubale wanu ukule mowona mtima, tsatirani malangizo awa pachibwenzi mozama ndikuphunzira kuvomereza mbali yake yomvera.
Ndibwino kuti muzikondwerera. Polimbikitsa wokondedwa wanu kuvala mtima wake m'manja mwake, mukulimbikitsa malo omwe amamuthandiza kuti azigwirizana kwambiri momwe angathere. Ndani akudziwa, pakapita nthawi, zina mwazokhudzikazi zitha kukukhudzani. Kapena zingakuthandizeni kulumikizana ndi kuwongolera mbali yanu yovuta. Ndipo pamodzi, mutha kumanga ubale wabwino, wokwanira, komanso wosangalatsa.
11. Pangani naye ubwenzi
Uwu ndi upangiri wofunika kwambiri. Ngati mukufuna ubale wolimba womwe udzakhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali, ukhazikitseni pa ubwenzi weniweni ndi mnzanu. Ganizirani kupitirira chibwenzi, mphatso zazikulu, ndi zochita zotentha. Ndiye kodi mwamuna ayenera kuchita chiyani muubwenzi? Ikani nthawi ndi khama pa ubale wake ndi iye pazinthu zomwe nonse mumazikonda. Chifukwa simudzataya chidwi chanu ngati ndinu mabwenzi poyamba.
Monga munthu amene adakondana ndi kukwatirana ndi bwenzi lake lapamtima kwa zaka 11, sindingathe kutsindika mokwanira momwe zimakhalira kukongola kugawana moyo wanu ndi munthu amene muli naye ubwenzi weniweni. Ubwenzi uwu udzalimbitsa ubale wanu ndikutsegula njira ya chikondi chozama pamene chikondi choyamba chikatha.
12. Malangizo ozama paubwenzi kwa abambo: Mumasulireni iye
Ngati zinthu zitasintha ndipo inuyo ndinu amene mumapereka uphungu waubwenzi kwa akazi, mwina mukanati, “Musatipangitse kulankhula za momwe tikumvera.” Ifenso tikumvetsa. Kumiza malingaliro anu mu mtsuko wa mowa, kuyika m'mabotolo, ndikupitiriza ndi moyo n'kosavuta kuposa kukhala wosatetezeka. Ngakhale zili choncho, uphungu waubwenzi kuchokera ku malingaliro a mkazi ungakhale wosiyana kwambiri ndi izi.
Mulole iye alowe. Mutsegulireni kwa iye. Lankhulani naye za mantha anu, nkhaŵa zanu, zosungika, ndi zokayikitsa. Nandita anati, “Mumafunikira mawu omveka bwino. Amapereka zitsanzo:
- Wodala: "Mumadzutsa mbali yanga yabwino," "Mumandipangitsa kumva kuti ndili pamwamba pa dziko lapansi," "Ndimakhala wodekha ndikakhala ndi iwe"
- Khumudwa: “Ndikuda nkhawa,” “Ndikuda nkhawa,” “Ndikuona kuti sumandisamalira”
Ndikwabwino kukhudza maziko ndi malingaliro amkati mwa wina ndi mnzake kamodzi pakanthawi. Ndi zomwe nkhani za pillow ndi za!
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13. Osathawa kukambirana kuti “izi zikupita kuti”
Chimodzi mwa zinthu zoipa zomwe anyamata amachita muubwenzi - ambiri mwa iwo - ndikuwona zokambirana zokhudza tsogolo ngati chinthu choletsedwa. Koma dziwani izi: Ngati muli pachibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali, kukambirana kumeneku n'kosapeweka. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwakhala pachibwenzi kwa miyezi ingapo, iye angadzifunse ngati ndi liti pamene mudzanena kuti “Ndimakukondani” kapena kupempha kuti mukhale ndi chibwenzi chokha.
Mofananamo, ngati mwakhala limodzi kwa zaka zingapo, akhoza kukhala ndi mafunso okhudza sitepe yotsatira - kusamukira limodzi, kulankhula za ukwati, tsogolo, ndi ana. Ngakhale zokambiranazi zikuwopsyezani masana, dziwani kuti palibe njira yowazungulira. Pokhala wozemba, mungangosokoneza maganizo ake ndi kukaikira. Mwinanso, ngakhale kumutumiza kuti ayende m'njira yolingalira mopambanitsa.
Dzikonzekereni kuti mukambirane za mtsogolo, ngati muli nawo kwa nthawi yayitali. Mukapewa kukambirana izi, m'pamenenso zidzasokoneza ubale wanu ngati mzimu wosaoneka.
14. Malangizo pa chibwenzi kwa amuna kulikonse: Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana
"Muyenera kumvetsera mavuto, malingaliro, ndi uphungu wa mnzanu, ndikuvomereza kuti nthawi zonse simuli olondola. Kukambirana ndiye chinsinsi cha ukwati wopambana," upangiri wolimba wochokera kwa mkazi wanzeru komanso m'modzi mwa ochita sewero abwino kwambiri, Meryl Streep. Malangizo ake paubwenzi, kwenikweni, ndi a aliyense. Mavuto olankhulana ndiye chifukwa chachikulu cha mavuto ambiri paubwenzi. M'malo mongoyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo adziwe ndikumvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna kuchokera muubwenziwo, lankhulani momveka bwino zosowa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu.
Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zofunika kwambiri akazi zofunika pa ubwenzi. Chifukwa momwe amuna sangawerenge malingaliro, akazi nawonso sangathe. Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe mwamuna sayenera kuchitira kwa mkazi ndi kubisa malingaliro ake pamene kuyankhula za izo zikuwoneka zovuta kwambiri. Mukachita izi, mnzanuyo amasokonezeka, osokonezeka, komanso osokonezeka. Izi zidzangowonjezera zovuta zilizonse zomwe mukukumana nazo.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 11 Zowongolera Kulankhulana Mu Ubale
15. Osatseka
Malangizo a ubale awa kwa amuna ndi owonjezera pa omwe adalipo kale. Kusamvana, kukhumudwa, ndi kusiyana kwa malingaliro ndi gawo lalikulu la ubale. Ndi momwe mumachitira ndi izi zomwe zimafunika. Ngati mnzanu wachita kapena wanena china chake chomwe chakukhumudwitsani kapena kukupwetekani, musatseke kapena kuyamba kunyoza.
Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akunena kuti, “Akakhumudwa, kukwiya, kapena akuvutika kuntchito, amatseka kwathunthu, amasiya kulankhulana nane kupatulapo zochepa zomwe zimafunika. Ndipo sindikudziwa ngati ndi ine, kapena china chake. Izi zitha kukhala kwa maola angapo, masiku angapo - kamodzi ngakhale kwa miyezi iwiri. (Imeneyo inali yokhudza ine.) Ikatha, safotokoza kapena kupepesa - imangotha.”
Kumugenda kapena kumuchitira mwakachetechete sikungathetse mavuto anu pachibwenzi. Ngati chilichonse, chidzangowonjezera kusamvetsetsana ndi zongoganizira pakusakaniza. Choncho, uphungu wabwino wa chibwenzi kwa amuna ndi uwu: Mosasamala kanthu kuti nkhaniyo ndi yaikulu kapena yochepa bwanji, ngati chinachake chikukuvutitsani, lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo za izo.
16. Malangizo pa maubwenzi kwa abambo: Zomverera zanu si zofooka zanu
Kwa zaka mazana ambiri, anthu akhala akulamulidwa kuti asatengere malingaliro awo ndi malingaliro awo. Chikhulupiriro chonse cha “amuna salira” chapangitsa mibadwo ya anthu kuvutika mwakachetechete. Chimodzi mwazinthu zamtengo wapatali zaupangiri waubwenzi kwa amuna omwe ndikuyenera kupereka ndikuti palibe ulemerero mumalingaliro onyengawa a machismo.
Nandita akugawana malangizo ena okhudza ubale wake kuti akope mtima wake , “Amuna amakonda kukhala olimba m’lingaliro lenileni kapena lakuthupi. Ngakhale kuti zimenezo n’zabwino, amuna ayenera kukhulupirira kuti kukhala osatetezeka, kutsegula, ndi kulola malingaliro awo kuwonekera n’kwamphamvunso.” Choncho kumbukirani zinthu izi:
- Amuna enieni AMAKHOZA ndipo AYENERA kulira
- Kukhetsa misozi pang'ono sizomwe muyenera kuda nkhawa nazo. Kukhala wankhanza ndi zomwe mwamuna weniweni sayenera kuchita
- Amuna omwe angathe kuvomereza ndi kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo akuwonedwa mowonjezereka kukhala okongola kuposa mtundu wachete, wokakamira
- Landirani lingaliro lakuti malingaliro anu si ofooka anu, ndipo mudzatha kugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo pa ndege yatsopano.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndikoyenera Kuti Amuna Azilira?
17. Khalani achangu posunga chikondicho
Kuyang'ana wina woyamba chibwenzi malangizo amuna? Chabwino, tangokupatsani imodzi yokha. "Phunzirani luso lachikondi," akutero Nandita. Musalole kuti udindo wosunga chikondi ukhale pa bwenzi lanu. Ngati mutero, adzatopa, kupsa mtima, ndipo potsirizira pake adzaleka, poganiza kuti zinthu zimenezi zilibe kanthu kwa inu. Choncho, yambani inuyo kukonzekera manja achikondi, monga masiku a chibwenzi, kumutulutsa, kumusangalatsa, ndi kumupangitsa kumva bwino.
Mnzanga Arina amachitiridwa nsanje ndi gulu lathu lonse la atsikana chifukwa cha mmene mwamuna wake, Jacob, alili wokonda kwambiri kugonana. Amamutenga kwa kanthawi kochepa nthawi iliyonse tikakhala limodzi, kuti akangomupsompsona kamodzi kapena kawiri. Amamutengera kukadya naye khofi pakati pa tsiku lantchito. Amamubweretsera maluwa, chifukwa chongoti. Saganiza kuti ndi ntchito yovuta. Izi ndi zinthu zomwe mwamuna ayenera kuchita muubwenzi. Tengani udindo womukonda ndipo adzamubwezeranso.
18. Muzilemekeza zimene zili zofunika kwa iye
Ngati pali gawo limodzi laupangiri waukatswiri wa ubale womwe suyenera kunyalanyazidwa, ndi uwu, ndi uwu, ndi uwu! Ziribe kanthu zomwe mkazi wanu amachita kapena kumene zilakolako zake zagona, monga wokondedwa wake, muyenera kulemekeza zinthu zomwe ziri zofunika kwa iye.
Kaya ali khama pantchito yake, banja lake, chilakolako chake chokhala olimba, kukonda kuphika, kufunitsitsa kuphunzira maluso atsopano a moyo, ndi kudzipereka kosasunthika kwa ana ake - ngati zili zofunika kwa iye, ziyenera kukhala zofunika kwa inu. Langizo lofunika kwambiri paubwenzi kwa abambo: Musamunyozetse ponena zinthu monga “Mungosunga mapepala mu ofesi, sizikhala ngati musintha dziko” kapena “Bwanji simudzaphonya kulimbitsa thupi kwanu tsiku lina?”.
19. Osazengereza kufunsa malangizo ndi chithandizo
Kumbukirani kuti nonse ndinu ogwirizana muubwenzi wabwino.
- Si ntchito yanu kumusamalira ndi kumusamalira kapena kukhala pamwamba pa zinthu ndi mosemphanitsa
- Ngati mukupeza kuti mwakakamira kapena mwasokonekera, musazengereze kufunsa mnzanu kuti akuthandizeni
- Zikhale zophweka monga kumuthandizira ndi malangizo kapena kumupempha ngongole kuti alipire ngongole (nonse mutalowa mu ubale weniweni), sizili bwino kuti ndiwe wodalira pa iye
- Angakhale wokondwa kupereka chithandizo. M'malo mwake, potembenukira kwa munthu wina kuti akuthandizeni pomwe ali wokhoza kupereka, mumamupangitsa kumva ngati bwenzi locheperako.
Tsopano mverani malangizo awa ochokera kwa mayi wanzeru: Katswiri wathu. Nandita anati: “Simuyenera kudziwa zonse, simuyenera kusonyeza kuti muli ndi chidziŵitso chochuluka, muli ndi luso, kapena ndinu apamwamba. Kunyadira kupempha thandizo mukafunadi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zoyipa zomwe anyamata amachita pachibwenzi. Yesetsani kuswa ndondomekoyi mwa kufunafuna thandizo lake muzinthu zazing'ono. Mchitireni ngati wofanana naye, ndipo adzakukondani ndikukukondani kwambiri chifukwa cha izi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kukayikira za Ubale - Mafunso 21 Oyenera Kudzifunsa Kuti Mukhale Omasuka
20. Malangizo pa maubwenzi kwa abambo omwe ali muubwenzi watsopano: Khalani osasinthasintha
Mukumutumizira mameseji usiku wonse tsiku lina. Kumudzutsa ndi foni yotsatira. Ndiye, mumangosowa kwa masiku. Apa akudabwa kuti mwina chinachitika nchiyani. Kenako mumabweranso mukuchita ngati ndi bizinesi monga mwanthawi zonse. Mnyamata kale ndi mnyamata tsopano ndi anthu awiri osiyana kwa iye.
Nandita anati: “Kulankhula kapena kuchita zinthu zotsutsana kwambiri nthawi zina kukhoza kusokoneza mtsikana wanu.” Kusasinthasintha mmene mumachitira zinthu ndi zimene mukunena kumasonyeza kuti ndinu wodzidalira komanso wodzidalira. Kodi munalembapo malangizo awa paubwenzi kwa amuna? Chifukwa iyi inali yovuta pang'ono kumeza.
Kumukonda ndi kumumenya ndi kumusewera ndi zinthu zotentha ndi zozizira sikungamubweretsere chibwenzi kulikonse. Masewera amisala awa amangomuyipitsa mtima ndi kubweretsa zizindikiro zambiri zowopsa zokhudza kuthekera kwanu kukhala mnzanu. Ngati mumamukondadi, lolani malingaliro anu awonekere mu zochita zanu mosachita manyazi.
21. Osatengera kuti ayi ku kugonana ngati chiwembu
Ngakhale kuti 'kufotokozedwa' kwa chilakolako kumasiyana chifukwa chakuti chimanyozedwa kwa akazi, Sarah Hunter Murray, PhD, wolemba buku lakuti Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships , akuti apa , "Kafukufuku wambiri akusonyeza kuti kuchuluka kwa chilakolako cha kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi kuli kofanana kwambiri kuposa kosiyana. Malamulo okhudza kugonana ndi amuna ndi akazi ndi akale m'njira zambiri." Uwu ndi upangiri wabwino kwambiri wochokera kwa mkazi wanzeru ndipo sukufanana ndi mkangano wanu wamba wa mphamvu zachikazi poyerekeza ndi mphamvu zachimuna.
Padzakhala masiku omwe angakane zikhumbo zanu zogonana ndi kukana. Pokhapokha ngati zili zosagwirizana ndi libidos, phunzirani kutenga nays pang'ono mumayendedwe anu. Sikuti sakufuna kuti azikukondani kapena kukuonani kuti ndinu wokongola. Ikhoza kukhala imodzi mwazinthu miliyoni zomwe zikuchitika mthupi lake zomwe zimamuchotsa pamalingaliro ogonana. Mwina, ali ndi PMS, akumva kutupa komanso osamasuka. Mwinamwake iye watopa kwambiri pambuyo pa tsiku lalitali ndipo akufuna kugona usiku. Kapena mwina sangakwanitse. Nthawi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kuyenda M'mavuto a Chilolezo mu Ubale Wamakono
22. Musamuwuze;
Chimodzi mwa zofunika kwambiri akazi amafuna pa ubwenzi, komanso bwino ubwenzi malangizo kwa Intaneti chibwenzi nthawi. Palibe njira yodziwira momwe dynamic idzayendera. Mwina mwakhala pachibwenzi kwa milungu ingapo kapena miyezi ingapo, ndiyeno mwaona kuti sizikukuyenderani bwino. Mwina mwakhala limodzi kwa zaka zambiri muubwenzi wapamtima ndipo tsopano mukuona ngati mwasiya chikondi.
Muli ndi ufulu wochitapo kanthu kuti musinthe zinthu. Mukatero, kumbukirani malangizo awa a amuna paubwenzi - MUSAMUGWERE. Kaya zinthu zili bwanji kapena nkhaniyo ikhale yosasangalatsa bwanji, kugweretsana muubwenzi ndi chinthu chosayenera. Mwamuna avomereze ndipo mupatseni ulemu woti mwatha ndipo mukufuna kupitiriza. Nandita akuwonjezera kuti, “Ngakhale mutakhala kutali, muuzeni kuti simungathe kulumikizana. N’zosavuta.”
23. Mfunseni mkaziyo chimene akufuna
Kusokonezeka chifukwa chani mkazi sanakuyimbireni? Mufunseni iye. Simukumvetsa zomwe akufunikira lero, pa tsiku la mitambo yakuda? Mufunseni iye. Kodi muyenera kupereka malingaliro anu akamalankhula za wachibale wapoizoni, kapena ingomvetserani? Mufunseni iye. Mukuyesera kulingalira malire anu okhudzana ndi kukhudza? MUFUNSENI. Malangizo a ubale sakhala ophweka kuposa izi.
Palibe chokhumudwitsa kwa John Gray, koma kugawa akazi ndi amuna bwino pakati pawo ndikugawa maudindo pakati pa amuna ndi akazi si lingaliro labwino (kapena lasayansi) la ubale wabwino. Palibe chinsinsi chachikulu chomwe chingathetsedwe apa. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa zomwe akazi amitundu yonse ndi umunthu amakumana nazo, werengani ndikumvetsera zomwe akunena. Momwemonso ndi kumvetsetsa amuna.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Pali kusiyana kwakukulu mu momwe abambo ndi amai amagwirira ntchito mu maubwenzi, ndi momwe amaonera ubwenzi ndi mgwirizano
- Tili ndi upangiri waubwenzi kwa amuna: Mutha kulemekeza mkazi powonetsetsa kuti simumamukonda, osasokoneza malingaliro ake, osamupatsa mzimu, ndipo mumasamala za iye. kuvomereza pa chibwenzi
- Kumuganizira ndiponso kumuyamikira kudzakufikitsani pa ubwenzi wabwino
- Khalani moyo wowona mtima ndikuwonetsa kuwona mtima mu ubale wanu sizikuwoneka ngati ntchito yolimba
- Upangiri wina wakuya waubwenzi kwa abambo ndikumanga ubale ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu, kumumasuka, komanso kulola kuti mukhale pachiwopsezo ndi anthu osiyanasiyana omwe mumawakhulupirira.
- Khalani okhazikika pakusunga chikondicho
Mkazi aliyense ndi wosiyana komanso wapadera mwa njira yake. Choncho, zoyembekeza za ubale zimatha kusiyana pakati pa wina ndi mzake. Ngakhale zili choncho, izi zaupangiri waubwenzi kuchokera kumalingaliro a mzimayi zidzakuthandizani kudutsa bwino muzochitika 9 mwa 10. Asanasaine, Nandita amagawana upangiri waubwenzi wa bonasi kwa amuna. "Mnyamata yemwe amatha kuphika amasesa akazi."
Zosokoneza Zomwe Atsikana Amachita - Zomwe Amuna Amapeza Zosokoneza Zokhudza Akazi
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
