Kodi Stonewalling Ndi Chiyani Ndipo Mungathetse Bwanji?

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kugwetsa miyala muubwenzi ndikulosera za chisudzulo, khalidwe lachipongwe lomaliza. NGATI mukufuna kudziwa zomwe zili muubwenzi ndi mawonekedwe ake osiyanasiyana, ndipo koposa zonse, momwe mungathanirane nazo, muli pamalo oyenera. Tiwona njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe okondedwa angakumenyerani miyala ndi momwe mungadutsemo.

Kudzipatula muubwenzi ndi chinthu chodzikuza chomwe munthu m'modzi amasiya chibwenzicho. Kuchoka kwa mnzanu kungakupangitseni kudzimva kuti simuli bwino komanso ndinu odzikuza ndipo mungaganize kuti ayenera kuti adachitapo kanthu kuti mnzanuyo amulepheretse. Zingayambitse kusadzidalira, mkwiyo, ndi kukhutira, pambuyo pake.

Wogenda mwala amasiya dala kulankhula ndi kupeŵa kukambirana kulikonse kumene kungabweretse mavuto. Mwina ndi mmene ankaonera makolo awo akamakangana. Ngati anali ndi makolo apoizoni omwe anachitirana nkhanza zofanana, mwaŵi wa kugendetsa miyala kumawonedwa kukhala kwachibadwa kwa anthu oterowo.

Mwina aleredwa m'njira yomwe "mumataya nthawi" zinthu zikamatenthedwa kapena kutengeka mtima kukukulirakulira. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo zamakhalidwe awo, koma zikuyenera kusintha kuti ubale wabwino ndi wosangalatsa umangidwe pakapita nthawi. Tiyeni tiyang'ane pa lingaliro lofunikira la stonewalling muubwenzi poyamba tisanapite kuzinthu zake zosiyanasiyana ndi zina.

Kodi Stonewalling N'chiyani Kwenikweni?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kodi kutsekereza miyala muubwenzi n’chiyani? Kutsekereza miyala ndi momwe zimamvekera - munthu amamanga khoma la miyala mozungulira iye mwini kuti achotse maganizo a wolankhulayo. Munthu amene angapezeke mosavuta m’maganizo mwake akhoza kukhala kutsekereza miyala. Kudzera mu kuchetechete kwawo, komwe ndi mtundu wa nkhanza , mnzakeyo amayesa kupewa kukambirana kulikonse.

Nchifukwa chiyani anthu amawombera miyala? Chifukwa zili m’maganizo mwa wogenda miyala kuti chilichonse choipa chimene akuchitiridwa ncholakwa ndipo kungokhala chete ndiko chilango cha zimenezo.

Ndipo ine ndikuuzani inu chomwe chiri cholakwika ndi izo? Kupatula zonse?

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Kuganizira kwambiri za maganizo nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza kuti ngakhale muubwenzi wachikondi, munthu ayenera kukhala ndi ulamuliro wodzikuza pa wokondedwa wake mwa kusiya kulankhulana naye kapena maganizo ake pamene zinthu zikukangana kapena kusagwirizana. Izi zimapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva ngati wachita chinthu choipa kwambiri.

Koma si zoona. Dziwani kuti anthu odzikonda okha sangathe kusunga ubale.

Mmodzi mwa zibwenzi za mnzanga ankakonda kumugenda ndi miyala pazinthu zing'onozing'ono. Ndipo pomangirira miyala, ankadzitangwanitsa ndi ntchito - monga kunamizira kuwerenga buku kapena kuyeretsa chipindacho. Tsiku lina iye anafika ponena kuti, “Ndimakupatsirani mawu osalankhula chifukwa munandipweteka.” Atafunsidwa kuti n’chifukwa chiyani sakanalankhulapo, iye anati (ndipo ndikukumbukira bwino lomwe ngati tsikulo), “Mwachita mlanduwo.

Kugwetsa miyala ndi mtundu wa chilango popanda ndodo. Ndi kuzunzika m'maganizo kwa mnzanu pamene muwapachika mwala.

Kodi kutsekereza ndi chitsanzo cha khalidwe lopanda nkhanza muubwenzi ? Inde, kwathunthu. Chofunika kwambiri, kuchitira nkhanza kumeneku kumasonyeza momwe anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi amayenera kutsekereza komanso kutsekereza. Ena amaona kuti ndi nkhanza zamaganizo. Kumabweretsa kuvulala kwamaganizo mwa munthu amene akutsekereza chifukwa mnzawo ali ndi vuto la maganizo lomwe ayenera kupirira.

Zizindikiro 5 Kuti Mukumenyedwa Mwala mu Ubale

mkazi kuganiza — Mwalangidwa mwala mu chiyanjano

Sikophweka nthawi zonse kumvetsetsa kutsekeka kwamalingaliro komwe kuli gawo la psychology. Mnzako wabwera mwadzidzidzi koma palibe ndipo sukudziwa choti uchite.

Rihanna ndi Vivien anali pachibwenzi kwa chaka chimodzi asanaganize zokwatirana. Vivien anali munthu wamanyazi komanso wongolankhula modzidzimutsa ndipo nthawi zambiri ankakhala chete akamakangana. Rihanna ankaganiza kuti imeneyo inali njira yake yotsimikizira kuti mkangano usakhale wonyansa. Koma atangokwatirana, Rihanna anazindikira kuti njira yothetsera vuto lililonse limene ankakumana nayo ndi Vivien.

Rihanna anati: “Zinali zokwiyitsa kwambiri. “Ndikanena kuti tikufunika kupita kukagula zinthu, akanakhala ngati sanamvepo.

Vivien sankakonda kucheza ndi Rihanna ndipo pang’onopang’ono anayamba kudzimva kuti wakwatiwa ndi khoma. Chete chomwe chinalipo kale panthawi ya mikangano, chinafikira pa chilichonse m'moyo.

Tsopano onani, pakhoza kukhalanso ubwino wochita zinthu mwakachetechete ngati muchita zinthu mwachifundo komanso popanda chifukwa. Zizindikiro za kutseka denga zidzakhalapo nthawi zonse ngati muli pachibwenzi chotsekedwa. Talemba zizindikiro 5 apa.

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1. Oponya miyala samatsegula konse

Kaya muyese bwanji kulankhulana ndi mnzanu, mudzamva ngati akusiyapo kanthu pa zokambiranazo. Mungamve kuti pali gawo la iwo lomwe simukulidziwa konse. Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zothetsera mavuto olankhulana muubwenzi koma nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kwa anthu omwe azolowera kusokonezana.

Stonewallers sakhala omasuka kukambirana zakukhosi. Kaya ndi malingaliro okhudza inu, makolo, abale, ngakhale za ntchito kapena anzanu. Amalankhula nanu koma mukafika m'gawo lofotokozera zakukhosi amatseka mwachangu.

2. Akuthamangitseni mwamsanga

Ngati Rihanna akanauza Vivien kuti akuopa kuti ntchito yochotsa antchito mu kampani yake ingamutayitse ntchito, akanangonena kuti, “Palibe chonga chimenecho chingachitike” ndipo zikatha choncho. Zinali ngati mwamuna wake akumunyalanyaza kotheratu.

Rihanna anamva chisoni pamene nkhawa zake zinathetsedwa mwamsanga ndipo ankaona ngati kulibe munthu. Zinamupangitsa kumva ngati munthu wocheperako muubwenzi wawo ndipo zidamusokoneza m'maganizo pomwe zimangobwerezabwereza.

3. Pewani kuyang'ana maso

Anthu okonda miyala nthawi zambiri amapewa kuyang'anana maso ndi maso. Ngati mukuyembekezera kuti akuyang'aneni mozama m'maso mwanu ndikuyankhula mwachikondi ndiye kuti mukulakwitsa. Nthawi zonse amangoyang'ana kutali ndikulankhula. Zawonetsedwa kuti kukopana maso ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paubwenzi ndipo kumathandiza kuti ubale ukhale wabwino. Zosiyana kwambiri ndi izi zimachitika ngati mnzanu sakukuyang'anani.

Ali pachibwenzi, Rihanna ankaganiza kuti kusayang'ana maso kunali filosofi ya Vivien ndipo panthawiyo ankawoneka wokongola. Koma m’kupita kwa nthawi anazindikira kuti ndi mawonekedwe amene ankagwiritsa ntchito kuti asayang’ane m’maso.

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4. Sayankha mafunso

Akadabwerako usiku kwambiri kuchokera kuntchito ndipo tsiku lotsatira mutha kuwafunsa patebulo la chakudya cham'mawa chifukwa chomwe adachedwa kwambiri. Tangoganizani kuti ndi funso lachibadwa lomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi angafunse.

Koma wogenda miyala amatha kungobisala mu kapu ya madzi ndi nyuzipepala ndipo osayankha funso limodzi. Ndipo mukakwiya, mudzalandira mphoto yakukhala chete. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chenicheni chakuti muli paubwenzi ndi woponya miyala. Zimapanga malingaliro onyalanyaza ndi mkwiyo mkati mwanu zomwe zingakuwonongeni maganizo kwambiri pakapita nthawi.

5. Nthawi zonse amachokapo

Ngati mukuganiza za momwe mungayankhire ku miyala ya miyala ndiye kuti mungasiyidwe kuganiza kosatha. Chifukwa mkangano ukangoyambika, woponya miyala nthawi zonse amachoka ndikukulangani kwa masiku osalankhula nanu.

Sikuti amangothawa mikangano yokha, komanso amapewa mavuto ndi mavuto omwe amafunika kuthetsedwa. Kuthawa ndi njira yabwino kwambiri kwa munthu wokonda kuwononga ndalama. Izi ndi zina mwa njira zosavuta zomwe zingayambitse mkwiyo m'banja mwanu.

Kodi Mumatani Ndi Stonewalling?

Chinthu choyamba choyamba. Ndikosavuta kugenda munthu akamakumenyetsani miyala. Monga nkhani ya mnzanga. Ilinso yaikulu NO-AYI.

Chifukwa chiyani?

Chifukwa kupanga miyala ndi njira yodabwitsa. Nthawi. Zimatsimikizira kuti kuwaphunzitsa phunziro n'kofunika kwambiri kuposa kufulumira ngati akuluakulu. Ndizosakhwima ndipo zimawononga bwino kugwedezeka kwa aliyense ndikupangitsa wopanga miyala kukhala wododometsa.

Chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo akutenga njira yopapatiza, yokhotakhota yopita ku tauni yaubwenzi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuwatsata panjira yoyipa. Zingadzetse magawano mu ubale wanu ndipo zitha kutenga njira yomwe simungathe kubwererako. Kodi kugwetsa miyala muubwenzi ndi chiyani ngati si khalidwe loipa? Komanso, kodi ndi liti pamene kulimbana ndi khalidwe lapoizoni ndi khalidwe lina loipa kumathandiza? Ayi.

Umu ndi momwe mumachitira ndi miyala mu ubale.

1. Pulumuka koma osachita nawo

Ndikosavuta kugenda munthu amene akukuchitirani inu mwakachetechete. Muthanso kuwirikiza kawiri kuyesayesa kwa wina mwala chifukwa zomwe zimazungulira zimabwereranso, sichoncho?

Chabwino, ayi.

Khalani chete koma musawachitire monga momwe amakuchitirani. Kutuluka muubwenzi ndi ayi. Kunena kuti, “Sindikufuna zoyipa zako” ndiye kuti ayi. Kulankhula zonyoza ndi kunena zinthu zopweteka kungawononge ubwenzi wanu. Kuphunzira kukhala ndi moyo komanso kusachita nawo zinthu kungakhale kovuta koma ndi njira yabwinoko.

2. Osatsikira pa dzenje la mlandu

Pamene mwala, kukwiya, kupwetekedwa, kuzunzidwa ndi kukhumudwa kungakhale kochuluka. Munthawi ngati izi, ndikofunikira kuti mubwerere ndikudziyesa nokha ngati pali chilichonse chomwe mudachita kuti muyenerere kulandira chithandizo chotere. Kulankhulana mwamwala, ngati kuchitidwa pa nthawi yoyenera, kungakhale njira yosakhala yaukali yosonyezera kukwiyira munthu.

Ngati chikumbumtima chanu chili bwino, palibe chifukwa chodziimba mlandu. Si vuto lanu mnzanuyo aganiza zongomuletsa m'malo molankhulana.

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3. Adziwitseni za kukana kwanu pankhaniyi

Mnzanu wasankha kukuletsani m'malo molankhula chifukwa cha kutsekeredwa kwawo. Muuzeni zomwe mukumva. Chinachake monga, “Zimandipweteka mukamandilankhula chete” , chingathandize kwambiri. Komanso, “Mwina kulankhula za izi kudzakupangitsani kumva bwino?” Mnzanu womvetsetsa angaganizire izi ndikugwira ntchito yokonza kulumikizana muubwenzi wanu.

4. Muzigwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu

M'malo mokhala ndi chidani, mkwiyo, ululu, ndi kukhumudwa (nthawi zina kubwezera), gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yanu. "Nthawi yopuma" iyi muubwenzi ingakufooketseni koma kutsatira njira yoti musadzimve mlandu ndikugwiritsa ntchito nthawiyo moyenera. Zingachitikenso kuti mnzanuyo akaona kuti simukukhudzidwa ndi kusokonezana kwawo, angasiye kukulankhulani.

Nthawi zina yankho losavuta la choti muchite pamene mnzanuyo akugwetsa miyala ndikuti asagwere mumsampha wawo ndikuwasambitsa ndi chidwi ndi nkhawa. Nthawi zina, kupitiriza ndi tsiku lanu kumachitanso zodabwitsa.

5. Konzekerani ndi okondedwa wanu

Afunseni kuti kutseka mpanda kudzatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji? Ngati simunalandire yankho lomveka bwino, aloleni akhale chete. Musalole kuti maganizo anu akukulepheretseni. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yopuma pocheza ndi achibale ndi abwenzi ambiri, kupita kumalo omwe simunapiteko chifukwa mnzanu wa kutseka mpanda sakukonda. Siyani mkwiyo uliwonse muubwenzi wanu ndipo gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyo mwanzeru malinga ndi zomwe mukufuna.

Sizili ngati simusamala za mnzanuyo kukupatsani chithandizo chamchete. Ndi zambiri zodzisamalira nokha pamene mukuponyedwa miyala; mtundu wa zododometsa kwa izo.

6. Fufuzani nawo

Mukapatsa mnzanu mpata, funsani. Palibe chifukwa chomuvutitsa, koma kungomufunsa kuti, “Muli bwanji?” kapena “Kodi tingakambirane naye mukadzamva bwino?” kungathandize. Ndi kudziwitsa mnzanuyo kuti mudakalipo. Nthawi zina kukhala ndi mwayi wocheza naye kumabweretsa mtendere wamumtima.

Kumakhalanso kukankha kuti agwetse makoma ndikuyamba kulankhulana. Zidzawapangitsa kumva kukhala okondedwa komanso ofunikira muubwenzi ndipo zimagwira ntchito ngati chilimbikitso kwa iwo kukhala okoma mtima komanso omvetsera kwambiri.

7. Sankhani kucheza mukakonzeka

Ngati mnzanu wasiya kutseka mawu koma inu mukulimbanabe ndi vutoli, pitirizani ndi liwiro lanu, khazikitsani nthawi. Maola awiri? Masiku awiri, miyezi iwiri? Konzani nthawi ndipo pitirizani. Uzani mnzanuyo kuti: “Ndipatseni masiku angapo kuti ndichite izi” . Mnzanu womvetsetsa adzalemekeza njirayo. Ndipo mwina adzaganiza kawiri asanakugwetseni nthawi ina. Mukatenga nthawi yanu kuti muthetse mkangano kapena ndewu, simudzadalira mnzanuyo kuti asankhe nthawi yoti mulankhule ndi nthawi yoti musalankhule.

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8. Siyani katunduyo pambuyo pomanga miyala

Pambuyo pomanga miyala, ndikofunika kuthetsa kusamvana ndi kusiyana kwa ubale. Mutha kuziwona ngati kukwera pachimake mu ubale wanu. Ndikofunikira kuti muutenge ngati mutu wakale ndipo osaubweretsa mtsogolo popanda chifukwa. Itengeni ngati mpweya watsopano ndipo yesetsani kupanga ubale wabwino ndi wogwirizana.

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Kodi miyala ya miyala imakhudza bwanji maubwenzi?

Akuti pali Okwera Pamahatchi Anayi omwe amalozera kutha kwa ubale. Zimenezo ndi kudzudzula, kunyozedwa, kudzitchinjiriza, ndi kukhomerera miyala. Pamaso pa makhalidwe anayiwa, sipangakhale nthawi kuti ubale uwonongeke.

Zotsatira za kugwetsa miyala zimatha kuwononga maubwenzi ena. Kuchepetsa kulankhulana pakamwa si njira yanzeru yopangira ubale. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ziyenera kugwiritsiridwa ntchito ndikuthetsedwa ndi kuyesetsa kwa onse awiri.

Kubisa miyala kungayambitse zotsatirapo zomwe zingasokoneze ubale. Mnzanu wosowa chochita angachite kapena kunena zinthu zopweteka kuti amve mnzanuyo akulankhulanso naye - zinthu zomwe sangabwererenso pambuyo pake. Ndipo zinthu ngati izi zitha kuwononga kwambiri ubale wanu ndipo ndi zina mwa njira zomwe mkwiyo umalowera mu ubale.

Anthu ena ali ndi chizolowezi chogenda mnzako kwa masiku angapo ndipo izi zingapangitse mnzawoyo kudziona kuti sakukondedwa komanso kuti sakumusamala. Kumangirirana mwala mobwerezabwereza kotereku kungapangitse mnzanuyo kupeza chikondi ndi chikondi kwina.

Pali anthu ambiri omwe ali pamwala koma sadziwa n'komwe kuti ndi ogwetsa miyala komanso momwe khalidwe lawo limakhudzira okondedwa awo. Stonewalling akhoza kukhala wakupha mwakachetechete ubale pokhapokha mutasamalira.

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Momwe Mungapangire Pambuyo Pankhondo

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.