Kodi Stonewalling Ndi Chiyani Ndipo Mungathetse Bwanji?

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kugwetsa miyala muubwenzi ndikulosera za chisudzulo, khalidwe lachipongwe lomaliza. NGATI mukufuna kudziwa zomwe zili muubwenzi ndi mawonekedwe ake osiyanasiyana, ndipo koposa zonse, momwe mungathanirane nazo, muli pamalo oyenera. Tiwona njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe okondedwa angakumenyerani miyala ndi momwe mungadutsemo.

Kugwetsa miyala muubwenzi ndi kusuntha kwa narcissist komwe m'modzi amasiya chibwenzicho. Kuchoka kwa mnzako kungakuchititseni kudziona kuti ndinu wosakwanira komanso wodzikweza ndikuganiza kuti ayenera kuti adachitapo kanthu kuti mnzakeyo azimuwombera. Zingayambitse kusatetezeka, mkwiyo, ndi chikhutiro, pambuyo pake.

Wogenda mwala amasiya dala kulankhula ndi kupeŵa kukambirana kulikonse kumene kungabweretse mavuto. Mwina ndi mmene ankaonera makolo awo akamakangana. Ngati anali ndi makolo apoizoni omwe anachitirana nkhanza zofanana, mwaŵi wa kugendetsa miyala kumawonedwa kukhala kwachibadwa kwa anthu oterowo.

Mwina aleredwa m'njira yomwe "mumataya nthawi" zinthu zikamatenthedwa kapena kutengeka mtima kukukulirakulira. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo zamakhalidwe awo, koma zikuyenera kusintha kuti ubale wabwino ndi wosangalatsa umangidwe pakapita nthawi. Tiyeni tiyang'ane pa lingaliro lofunikira la stonewalling muubwenzi poyamba tisanapite kuzinthu zake zosiyanasiyana ndi zina.

Kodi Stonewalling N'chiyani Kwenikweni?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kodi miyala mu ubale ndi chiyani? Kumanga miyala ndi momwe kumamvekera - munthu amamanga mpanda wamwala mozungulira kuti athetse maganizo a wokamba nkhani. Munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto la mtima akhoza kukhala wokhumudwa. Kudzera mwa iwo kukhala chete, komwe ndi mtundu wa nkhanza mwazokha, mnzanuyo amayesa kuleka kukambirana kulikonse.

Nchifukwa chiyani anthu amawombera miyala? Chifukwa zili m’maganizo mwa wogenda miyala kuti chilichonse choipa chimene akuchitiridwa ncholakwa ndipo kungokhala chete ndiko chilango cha zimenezo.

Ndipo ine ndikuuzani inu chomwe chiri cholakwika ndi izo? Kupatula zonse?

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Psychological Stonewalling nthawi zambiri imatanthawuza kuti ngakhale muubwenzi wachikondi, munthu ayenera kukhala nawo kulamulira kwa narcissistic pa okondedwa awo posiya kugwirizana kwa mawu kapena m'maganizo ndi iwo pamene zinthu zikuipiraipira kapena kukangana. Izi zimapangitsa mnzakeyo kumva ngati wachita chinthu choyipa.

Koma si zoona. Dziwani zimenezo narcissists sangathe kusunga maubwenzi.

Mmodzi mwa zibwenzi za mnzanga ankakonda kumugenda ndi miyala pazinthu zing'onozing'ono. Ndipo pomangirira miyala, ankadzitangwanitsa ndi ntchito - monga kunamizira kuwerenga buku kapena kuyeretsa chipindacho. Tsiku lina iye anafika ponena kuti, “Ndimakupatsirani mawu osalankhula chifukwa munandipweteka.” Atafunsidwa kuti n’chifukwa chiyani sakanalankhulapo, iye anati (ndipo ndikukumbukira bwino lomwe ngati tsikulo), “Mwachita mlanduwo.

Kugwetsa miyala ndi mtundu wa chilango popanda ndodo. Ndi kuzunzika m'maganizo kwa mnzanu pamene muwapachika mwala.

Ndi stonewalling chitsanzo cha Mchitidwe wongokhala waukali mu maubwenzi? Inde, kwathunthu. Chofunika kwambiri, kuchitirana mwaukali kumeneku kumawonetsa momwe anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi amayenera kumangidwa ndi miyala. Ena amaona kuti n’kusokoneza maganizo. Zimapanga kupwetekedwa m'maganizo mwa munthu amene akumenyedwa ndi miyala chifukwa chakuti wokondedwa wawo ali ndi vuto la maganizo lomwe ayenera kupirira.

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mkazi kuganiza — Mwalangidwa mwala mu chiyanjano

Sikophweka nthawi zonse kumvetsetsa kutsekeka kwamalingaliro komwe kuli gawo la psychology. Mnzako wabwera mwadzidzidzi koma palibe ndipo sukudziwa choti uchite.

Rihanna ndi Vivien anali pachibwenzi kwa chaka chimodzi asanaganize zokwatirana. Vivien anali munthu wamanyazi komanso wongolankhula modzidzimutsa ndipo nthawi zambiri ankakhala chete akamakangana. Rihanna ankaganiza kuti imeneyo inali njira yake yotsimikizira kuti mkangano usakhale wonyansa. Koma atangokwatirana, Rihanna anazindikira kuti njira yothetsera vuto lililonse limene ankakumana nayo ndi Vivien.

Rihanna anati: “Zinali zokwiyitsa kwambiri. “Ndikanena kuti tikufunika kupita kukagula zinthu, akanakhala ngati sanamvepo.

Vivien sankakonda kucheza ndi Rihanna ndipo pang’onopang’ono anayamba kudzimva kuti wakwatiwa ndi khoma. Chete chomwe chinalipo kale panthawi ya mikangano, chinafikira pa chilichonse m'moyo.

Tsopano penyani, pakhoza kukhala ena ubwino wa chithandizo cha mwakachetechete komanso pamene aphedwa mwachifundo komanso mokakamizidwa. Zizindikiro za miyala zizikhalapo nthawi zonse ngati muli ndi miyala muubwenzi. Tikulemba zizindikiro 5 apa.

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1. Oponya miyala samatsegula konse

Ziribe kanthu momwe mungayesere kulankhulana ndi mnzanuyo mudzakhala ndikumverera kuti akusiya chinachake pazokambirana. Mungamve kuti pali gawo lina la iwo lomwe simukulidziwa nkomwe. Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zothetsera mavuto oyankhulana mu maubwenzi koma nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kwa anthu omwe amazolowera miyala.

Stonewallers sakhala omasuka kukambirana zakukhosi. Kaya ndi malingaliro okhudza inu, makolo, abale, ngakhale za ntchito kapena anzanu. Amalankhula nanu koma mukafika m'gawo lofotokozera zakukhosi amatseka mwachangu.

2. Akuthamangitseni mwamsanga

Ngati Rihanna anauza Vivien kuti akuwopa kuti ntchito yochotsa ntchito m’kampani yake ingamuwonongere, akanangoti. "Palibe chonga chimenecho chingachitike" ndikumaliza motero. Zinali ngati iye mwamuna wake anali kumunyalanyaza kotheratu.

Rihanna anamva chisoni pamene nkhawa zake zinathetsedwa mwamsanga ndipo ankaona ngati kulibe munthu. Zinamupangitsa kumva ngati munthu wocheperako muubwenzi wawo ndipo zidamusokoneza m'maganizo pomwe zimangobwerezabwereza.

3. Pewani kuyang'ana maso

Oponya miyala nthawi zambiri amapewa kuyang'ana maso. Ngati mukuyembekeza kuti ayang'ane mozama m'maso mwanu ndikuyankhula mwachikondi ndiye kuti mukulakwitsa. Nthawi zonse ankayang’ana chapatali n’kumalankhula. Zasonyezedwa zimenezo kukopana ndi maso ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri ya maubwenzi ndipo imathandizira kulumikizana bwino. Zomwezo zimachitika pamene wokondedwa wanu amapewa kukuyang'anani.

Ali pachibwenzi, Rihanna ankaganiza kuti kusayang'ana maso kunali filosofi ya Vivien ndipo panthawiyo ankawoneka wokongola. Koma m’kupita kwa nthawi anazindikira kuti ndi mawonekedwe amene ankagwiritsa ntchito kuti asayang’ane m’maso.

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4. Sayankha mafunso

Akadabwerako usiku kwambiri kuchokera kuntchito ndipo tsiku lotsatira mutha kuwafunsa patebulo la chakudya cham'mawa chifukwa chomwe adachedwa kwambiri. Tangoganizani kuti ndi funso lachibadwa lomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi angafunse.

Koma wogenda miyala amatha kungobisala mu kapu ya madzi ndi nyuzipepala ndipo osayankha funso limodzi. Ndipo mukakwiya, mudzalandira mphoto yakukhala chete. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chenicheni chakuti muli paubwenzi ndi woponya miyala. Zimapanga malingaliro onyalanyaza ndi mkwiyo mkati mwanu zomwe zingakuwonongeni maganizo kwambiri pakapita nthawi.

5. Nthawi zonse amachokapo

Ngati mukuganiza za momwe mungayankhire ku miyala ya miyala ndiye kuti mungasiyidwe kuganiza kosatha. Chifukwa mkangano ukangoyambika, woponya miyala nthawi zonse amachoka ndikukulangani kwa masiku osalankhula nanu.

Iwo samangochoka pamikangano, komanso amachoka ku nkhani ndi mavuto omwe akuyenera kuthetsedwa. Kuthawa ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri yopangira miyala. Izi ndi zina mwa njira zosavuta zomwe zingatheke yambitsani mkwiyo m'banja lanu.

Kodi Mumatani Ndi Stonewalling?

Chinthu choyamba choyamba. Ndikosavuta kugenda munthu akamakumenyetsani miyala. Monga nkhani ya mnzanga. Ilinso yaikulu NO-AYI.

Chifukwa chiyani?

Chifukwa kupanga miyala ndi njira yodabwitsa. Nthawi. Zimatsimikizira kuti kuwaphunzitsa phunziro n'kofunika kwambiri kuposa kufulumira ngati akuluakulu. Ndizosakhwima ndipo zimawononga bwino kugwedezeka kwa aliyense ndikupangitsa wopanga miyala kukhala wododometsa.

Chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo akutenga njira yopapatiza, yokhotakhota yopita ku tauni yaubwenzi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuwatsata panjira yoyipa. Zingadzetse magawano mu ubale wanu ndipo zitha kutenga njira yomwe simungathe kubwererako. Kodi kugwetsa miyala muubwenzi ndi chiyani ngati si khalidwe loipa? Komanso, kodi ndi liti pamene kulimbana ndi khalidwe lapoizoni ndi khalidwe lina loipa kumathandiza? Ayi.

Umu ndi momwe mumachitira ndi miyala mu ubale.

1. Pulumuka koma osachita nawo

Ndikosavuta kugenda munthu amene akukuchitirani inu mwakachetechete. Muthanso kuwirikiza kawiri kuyesayesa kwa wina mwala chifukwa zomwe zimazungulira zimabwereranso, sichoncho?

Chabwino, ayi.

Khalani chete koma musawachitire monga momwe amakuchitirani. Kutuluka muubwenzi ndi ayi. Kunena kuti, “Sindikufuna zoyipa zako” ndiye kuti ayi. Kulankhula zonyoza ndi kunena zinthu zopweteka kungawononge ubwenzi wanu. Kuphunzira kukhala ndi moyo komanso kusachita nawo zinthu kungakhale kovuta koma ndi njira yabwinoko.

2. Osatsikira pa dzenje la mlandu

Pamene mwala, kukwiya, kupwetekedwa, kuzunzidwa ndi kukhumudwa kungakhale kochuluka. Munthawi ngati izi, ndikofunikira kuti mubwerere ndikudziyesa nokha ngati pali chilichonse chomwe mudachita kuti muyenerere kulandira chithandizo chotere. Kulankhulana mwamwala, ngati kuchitidwa pa nthawi yoyenera, kungakhale njira yosakhala yaukali yosonyezera kukwiyira munthu.

Ngati chikumbumtima chanu chili bwino, palibe chifukwa chodziimba mlandu. Si vuto lanu mnzanuyo aganiza zongomuletsa m'malo molankhulana.

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3. Adziwitseni za kukana kwanu pankhaniyi

Wokondedwa wanu wasankha kuti akumenyeni miyala m'malo molankhula chifukwa chakutsekereza mawu. Adziwitseni zomwe mukumva. Chinachake ngati, "Zimandiwawa ukakhala chete pa ine", akhoza kuchita zodabwitsa. Komanso, "Mwina kuyankhula za izo kungakupangitseni kumva bwino?" Wokondedwa womvetsetsa angaganizire izi ndikugwira ntchito Kupititsa patsogolo kulumikizana kwanu.

4. Muzigwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu

M'malo momva chidani, mkwiyo, zowawa, ndi kukhumudwa (nthawi zina kubwezera), gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yanu. Izi "lekeza panjira" muubwenzi ukhoza kufooketsa mzimu wanu koma tsatirani cholozera chopanda mlandu ndikugwiritsa ntchito nthawiyo mwachidwi. Zitha kuchitikanso kuti pamene mnzanuyo akuwona kuti simukukhudzidwa ndi miyala, akhoza kusiya kukuchitirani inu mwakachetechete.

Nthawi zina yankho losavuta la choti muchite pamene mnzanuyo akugwetsa miyala ndikuti asagwere mumsampha wawo ndikuwasambitsa ndi chidwi ndi nkhawa. Nthawi zina, kupitiriza ndi tsiku lanu kumachitanso zodabwitsa.

5. Konzekerani ndi okondedwa wanu

Afunseni kuti kugenda miyala kutha nthawi yayitali bwanji? Ngati simukupeza yankho lomveka bwino, aloleni atero. Musalole kuti malingaliro anu asokoneze inu. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yocheza ndi abale ndi abwenzi nthawi yambiri, kuyendera malo omwe simunapiteko chifukwa bwenzi lanu lopanga miyala sakonda. Siyani mkwiyo uliwonse muubwenzi wanu ndipo gwiritsani ntchito nthawi mwanzeru monga momwe mukufunira.

Sizili ngati simusamala za mnzanuyo kukupatsani chithandizo chamchete. Ndi zambiri zodzisamalira nokha pamene mukuponyedwa miyala; mtundu wa zododometsa kwa izo.

6. Fufuzani nawo

Pamene mukupatsa mnzanu malo, fufuzani nawo. Palibe chifukwa chovutitsa, monga mwachizolowezi, “Muli bwanji? kapena “Kodi chonde tikambirane mukakhala bwino?” nditero. Ndiko kudziwitsa mnzanuyo kuti mukadalipo. Nthawi zina kukhala ndi kupereka danga laumwini mu chiyanjano limagwira pamodzi.

Kumakhalanso kukankha kuti agwetse makoma ndikuyamba kulankhulana. Zidzawapangitsa kumva kukhala okondedwa komanso ofunikira muubwenzi ndipo zimagwira ntchito ngati chilimbikitso kwa iwo kukhala okoma mtima komanso omvetsera kwambiri.

7. Sankhani kucheza mukakonzeka

Pamene wokondedwa wanu asiya kutseka mawu koma inu mukulimbana nazo, pitirizani nthawi yanu. maola 2? 2 masiku, 2 miyezi? Khalani ndi nthawi ndikumamatira. Uzani mnzanu: "Ndipatseni masiku angapo kuti ndikonze izi". Wokondedwa womvetsetsa adzalemekeza ndondomekoyi. Ndipo mwina adzaganiza kawiri asanakumenyeni mwala nthawi ina. Potenga nthawi yanu kuti muthane ndi mkangano kapena ndewu, simudzadalira mnzanuyo kusankha nthawi yoti mulankhule ndi osayenera.

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8. Siyani katunduyo pambuyo pomanga miyala

Pambuyo pomanga miyala, ndikofunika kuthetsa kusamvana ndi kusiyana kwa ubale. Mutha kuziwona ngati kukwera pachimake mu ubale wanu. Ndikofunikira kuti muutenge ngati mutu wakale ndipo osaubweretsa mtsogolo popanda chifukwa. Itengeni ngati mpweya watsopano ndipo yesetsani kupanga ubale wabwino ndi wogwirizana.

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Kodi miyala ya miyala imakhudza bwanji maubwenzi?

Akuti pali Okwera Pamahatchi Anayi omwe amalozera kutha kwa ubale. Zimenezo ndi kudzudzula, kunyozedwa, kudzitchinjiriza, ndi kukhomerera miyala. Pamaso pa makhalidwe anayiwa, sipangakhale nthawi kuti ubale uwonongeke.

Zotsatira za kugwetsa miyala zimatha kuwononga maubwenzi ena. Kuchepetsa kulankhulana pakamwa si njira yanzeru yopangira ubale. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ziyenera kugwiritsiridwa ntchito ndikuthetsedwa ndi kuyesetsa kwa onse awiri.

Stonewalling kungayambitse machitidwe omwe amasokoneza ubale. Wokondedwa atha kuchita kapena kunena zinthu zopweteka kuti angomva mnzakeyo akulankhulanso - zinthu zomwe sangasinthe pambuyo pake. Ndipo zinthu ngati izi zitha kuwononga kwambiri ubale wanu ndipo ndi zina mwazo njira zowawa zimalowerera mu ubale.

Anthu ena ali ndi chizolowezi chogenda mnzako kwa masiku angapo ndipo izi zingapangitse mnzawoyo kudziona kuti sakukondedwa komanso kuti sakumusamala. Kumangirirana mwala mobwerezabwereza kotereku kungapangitse mnzanuyo kupeza chikondi ndi chikondi kwina.

Pali anthu ambiri omwe ali pamwala koma sadziwa n'komwe kuti ndi ogwetsa miyala komanso momwe khalidwe lawo limakhudzira okondedwa awo. Stonewalling akhoza kukhala wakupha mwakachetechete ubale pokhapokha mutasamalira.

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