Paulendo wanga monga wolemba mabulogu pa intaneti, ndakhala ndi mwayi wosintha nkhani zingapo zomwe zimalankhula za maubwenzi akunja kwa ukwati momasuka. Anthu nthawi zambiri amalankhula za kukondana ndi munthu wina osati mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo mosavuta. Komabe, miyambo yachikhalidwe komanso yachikhalidwe ya kukwatira mkazi mmodzi nthawi zambiri imawakokera ku ukwati. Kumbali imodzi amakopeka ndi chisangalalo chofunafuna chisangalalo ndi munthu watsopano, kumbali inayo, amalumikizidwa ku chitetezo cha ubale wokhazikika.
Ngakhale zili choncho, chiwerengero cha zibwenzi chikuchulukirachulukira. Kapena anthu ayamba kunena za izi masiku ano. Ndiye n’chiyani chabweretsa kusinthaku? Kodi chigololo sichilinso mlandu? Kodi chikhalidwe cha anthu pa nkhani zogonana kunja kwa banja chikusintha? Kapena pali chikondi pa zibwenzi?
Miyambo Yachikhalidwe pa Nkhani Zakunja Kwabanja Zikusintha?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Mafunso ndi maumboni okhudza maubwenzi akunja kwa ukwati si nkhani yatsopano. Kwa zaka zambiri tsopano, akhala akufala m'dera lathu. Magawo okhudza kusakhulupirika omwe amalemba mavuto aumwini okhudzana ndi maubwenzi akunja kwa ukwati akhala otchuka kwambiri m'magazini ndi manyuzipepala. Komabe, mafunso, maumboni, kapena zolemba za uphungu zidasindikizidwa makamaka ngati zosadziwika kapena ndi dzina losinthidwa. Zinthu zikusintha tsopano; manyazi ndi chinsinsi cha maubwenzi akuchepa. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti miyambo ya anthu paubwenzi wakunja kwa ukwati ikusintha, kapena ndi chifukwa chakuti anthu ndi oona mtima masiku ano?
Pali zifukwa zazikulu zisanu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu amwenye avomereze zibwenzi kunja kwa banja.
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1. Ndife otsimikiza za zokhumba zathu
Masiku ano anthu amagwirizana kwambiri ndi zilakolako zawo zachibadwa , motero, ali okonzeka kukana mfundo zachikhalidwe zomwe zimawalepheretsa kutsatira zilakolako zimenezi, zamaganizo komanso zakuthupi. Popeza miyambi ngati YoLo (Mumakhala Ndi Moyo Kamodzi Kokha) ikukhala mawu ofunikira kutsatira, anthu safunanso kukhala ndi moyo wopanda zilakolako zomwe zimaperekedwa nsembe pa guwa lansembe la mgwirizano wa ukwati ndi udindo wa makolo. Motero, kukonda kapena kukopeka kungayambitse chibwenzi popanda kukayikira kwambiri komanso mantha okhudza zotsatira zake.
2. Kufunafuna chikondi ndi kulumikizana kwamalingaliro
Chifukwa cha zochita zambiri komanso moyo wotanganidwa, maanja ambiri amakumana ndi mtunda wolowera muukwati, zomwe zimawasiya akumva osungulumwa muukwati . Kufunika kwa kulumikizana ndi kutsimikizika kwa malingaliro kungakhale chifukwa chomveka bwino chotsatirira malingaliro okopa a munthu amene sali naye paukwati.
Kodi pali chikondi m'zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati? Inde, chikondi kapena kugwirizana ndi munthu ndi chinthu chofala monga chilakolako m'zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati. Katswiri wodziwika bwino komanso wolemba mabuku Esther Perel anafotokoza zinthu zazikulu zomwe zimapangitsa munthu kusakhulupirika kuti: “Chibwenzi chimabweretsa zinthu zitatu zofunika: ubale wachinsinsi, womwe ndi maziko a chibwenzi; kulumikizana kwamaganizo pamlingo wina kapena wina; ndi kugonana kwachilendo.”
3. Chigololo sichilinso mlandu
Kodi chigololo sichilinso mlandu? Inde, mu 2018, Khoti Lalikulu la India, mu chigamulo chachikulu , linanyalanyaza lamulo la atsamunda lomwe linayamba zaka 158 zapitazo lomwe linkaona chigololo ngati mlandu. Lamulo lakale linkaona mwamuna wogonana ndi mkazi wokwatiwa - popanda chilolezo cha mwamuna wake - ngati wothandiza pa mlandu ndipo mkaziyo, ngati wozunzidwa.
"Nthawi zambiri zinthu sizimayamba ndi zilakolako, koma pakufunika kumvetsetsa, kutsimikizira, ndi chidwi."
Bungwe la oweruza asanu la bwalo lalikulu lamilandu lidagamula kuti lamuloli ndi losemphana ndi malamulo, lopondereza komanso lachikale. Chigamulocho chinati akazi ayenera kuwonedwa ngati ofanana muukwati ndipo mwamuna sangawoneke ngati mbuye wa mkazi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti wolakwayo ndi wozunzidwayo asakhalenso ndi mphamvu.
Zimenezi sizimangosonyeza kusintha kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu pa nkhani zogonana kunja kwa banja, komanso zimalimbitsa mtima zilakolako za munthu aliyense amene akufunafuna kukhutiritsa kugonana kapena maganizo akunja.
4. Mwayi wokometsera zinthu
Anthu akamalankhula za zifukwa zochitira chigololo kunja kwa ukwati , chilakolako chofuna kuwonjezera zinthu zatsopano ndikukhala ndi chinthu chatsopano monga mutu wamba. Chikhumbochi, pamodzi ndi kumasuka kulumikizana ndi anthu, ndi chifukwa chachikulu chomwe chimapangitsa kuti chigololo kunja kwa ukwati chikhale chofala kwambiri masiku ano.
- Yesani Zochita Zatsopano Pamodzi: Onaninso zokonda zatsopano monga kuvina, makalasi ophika, kukwera mapiri, kapena masewera atsopano kuti musangalatse ndikugawana zokumana nazo paubwenzi wanu.
- Muzidabwa Nthawi Zonse: Zodabwitsa zing'onozing'ono monga cholemba pamanja, tsiku losayembekezereka, kapena chakudya chomwe mumakonda chikhoza kuwonjezera chinthu chosangalatsa ndi kulingalira pazochitikazo.
- Konzani Zothawa Modzidzimutsa: Ulendo wopita kumapeto kwa sabata kapena malo ogona angapereke kusintha kwa maonekedwe ndi mwayi wolumikizananso kutali ndi moyo watsiku ndi tsiku.
- Chitani nawo Ntchito Zokopana Zosewerera: Yatsaninso chidwi chanu potumizirana mameseji okopana, mawu oyamikira, kapena kunyozana mwamasewera, monga momwe munachitira mutangoyamba chibwenzi.
Mutha kulumikizananso ndi wokondedwa wakusukulu yasekondale kapena kuphwanya kwakale pazama media, kapena kukumana ndi mlendo wamalingaliro ofanana ndi ntchito kapena mu bar. Zinthu zikungoyamba kumene. Kukhala wachinsinsi kwa mafoni a m'manja ndi mameseji kumapangitsa munthu kukhala ndi chibwenzi ali panyumba yabwino, ngakhale kukhala pafupi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake.
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5. Kusintha kwa moyo
Kusintha kwa moyo ndi chinthu chachikulu chomwe chikuwonjezera kuchuluka kwa zibwenzi. Kukhala kutali ndi bwenzi lako kwa nthawi yayitali chifukwa cha ntchito tsopano ndikofala kuposa kale. Onjezani zocheza ndi maphwando kusakanizako, ndipo mwayi wochita zomwe mwangofuna kapena kutulutsa mphamvu zogonana ndi usiku wamasewera okondana ukuwonjezeka mowirikiza.
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Poganizira kuvomerezana kwakukulu pakati pa maubwenzi amenewa m'gulu la anthu, n'zachibadwa kuti munthu adzifunse kuti - Kodi kugonana kunja kwa ukwati kungakhale kopindulitsa? Akatswiri ambiri a zaubwenzi ndi akatswiri azachipatala omwe amaphunzira za chithandizo cha okwatirana angavomereze kuti kugonana kunja kwa ukwati kungayambitse imfa yaikulu m'mabanja, ambiri mwa iwo osabwerera m'mbuyo kuchokera ku phompho la kudalirana kumeneku.
Komabe, ngati mnzanuyo sali woumirira maganizo pa nkhani ya kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi kapena mungabisike kwa nthaŵi yaitali chibwenzi chanucho, chibwenzi chakunja chimabweretsa madalitso odabwitsa m’banja lanu.
Ibibazo
1. N’chifukwa chiyani zibwenzi zikuchulukirachulukira?
“Ndinali ndi mnzanga amene nthaŵi zambiri ankasungulumwa ngakhale kuti anali wokwatiwa.” Chifukwa chotanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito ndiponso analibe chilimbikitso cha maganizo, iye anaulula zakukhosi kwa mnzake wogwira naye ntchito.
Kuwonjezeka kwa zinthu kumatha kukhala chifukwa cha kusagwirizana m'malingaliro, zosowa zosakwanira, kupsinjika, komanso kulumikizana mosavuta kudzera pazama media. Pamene moyo ukuchulukirachulukira ndipo maanja akuvutika kuti akhalebe pachibwenzi, ena amatembenukira ku maubwenzi akunja kuti akwaniritse.
2. Kodi zibwenzi zonse zakunja ndi zakuthupi?
Sizinthu zonse zomwe zili zakuthupi; ambiri amatengeka maganizo. Nkhani za m'maganizo zimathanso kuwononga, chifukwa zimaphatikizira kugawana malingaliro apamtima, zakukhosi, ndi zinsinsi ndi wina yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimatsogolera ku malingaliro akuya akusakhulupirika.
3. Nkaambo nzi ncotweelede kuba acilongwe anguwe?
Ngati pali kusagwirizana m'maganizo, kusowa ubwenzi, kumenyana kosalekeza, kapena kudzimva kuti ndinu osayamikiridwa, ukwati wanu ukhoza kukhala pangozi. Zizindikiro zoyambirira ndi monga kukula kwachinsinsi, kuchepa kwa kulankhulana, ndi mtunda wamalingaliro pakati pa okondedwa.
Kutsiriza Kwambiri
Zibwenzi zakunja kwa banja nthawi zambiri zimachokera ku nkhani zazikulu mkati mwa chibwenzi—kaya kusagwirizana maganizo, zosowa zosakwaniritsidwa, kapena kufunafuna kutsimikizika. Ngakhale zibwenzi zimatha kuvulaza kwambiri komanso kusakhulupirika, zimathanso kukhala ngati njira yodzutsira maanja kuti athetse mavuto osathetsedwa. Kumanganso pambuyo pa chibwenzi n'kovuta, koma sikungatheke, ndipo polankhulana moona mtima, kudzipereka kusintha, komanso nthawi zina thandizo la akatswiri, maanja amatha kugwira ntchito yochiritsa ndikulimbitsa ubale wawo. Konzani nthawi ndi akatswiri athu azachipatala ndikuyamba ulendo wopita ku ubale wabwino.
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Izi ndi zoona makamaka chifukwa cha kusintha kwa moyo ndipo anthu amakonda kuyang'ana njira zotulukira m'moyo wa monotonus ndikuyesera kupeza mwayi umene zipangizo zamakono ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu zimalola anthu awiri kuti agwirizane ndi chisankho ndi lkings.