Kupulumuka Pankhani - Njira 12 Zobwezeretsanso Chikondi Ndi Kukhulupirira Ukwati

Chibwenzi chakunja kwa ukwati chimawononga ubale. Chimachotsa mbali yofunika kwambiri ya ukwati, yomwe ndi kudalirana . Kungakhale kusakhulupirika kwa maganizo kapena chibwenzi chakuthupi kapena chibwenzi chomwe chinatenga miyezi ingapo, koma pambuyo pake chilichonse m'banja chimasokonekera . Mnzanu amatsala akulimbana ndi kusakhulupirika pambuyo pa chibwenzi. Pamenepo kupulumuka chibwenzi ndikubwezeretsa chidaliro muubwenzi kumakhala zinthu zovuta kwambiri kukwaniritsa.

Kodi mungapulumuke pachibwenzi? Inde mungathe koma kumanganso chikhulupiriro ndi ntchito yovuta. Sikuti mumangofunika kuthandiza mnzanu kuti achire kukusakhulupirika kwanu, muyenera kuchita zambiri zofunafuna kusakhulupirika. Pali magawo olimbana ndi kusakhulupirika ndipo kudutsa magawo amenewo kungakhale kowawa.

Mukawona kusakhulupirirana m’maso mwa mnzanu mukangoimbira foni, mawu aliwonse amene mumamwetulira kapena mwachedwa kufika kunyumba kwa mphindi 20, zingakuchititseni kumva chisoni kwambiri. Koma kuti mupulumuke pachibwenzi ndikubwezeretsanso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi muyenera kudutsa magawo ndipo ndi inu nokha omwe mungabwezere ubale wabwino.

Kodi Maukwati Ochuluka Amakhala Bwanji?

N'zovuta kunena ndendende kuchuluka kwa maukwati omwe amapulumuka ku chibwenzi. N’zosavuta kunena kuti ndi angati amene amasudzulana.

Ngati ukwati upulumuka kapena ayi zimadalira kwambiri chikhalidwe ndi chikhalidwe cha dziko. Ku US, kafukufuku wa Institute of Family adachita kafukufuku wotchedwa: Ndani Amanyenga Zambiri? Chiwerengero cha Anthu Osakhulupirika ku America pakati pa anthu 441 omwe adayankha pomwe 20% ya amuna okwatira ndi 13% ya akazi okwatira adavomereza kuti amanyenga ¹.

Peresenti yomwe idasweka atangobera inali 54.5%. Choncho ziwerengero za chisudzulo pambuyo pa chigololo zimaposa 50%. Ndi mabanja 15% okha omwe adapulumuka pachibwenzi ndikupitirizabe ndi ukwatiwo.

Koma izi n’zosiyana ku India. Malinga ndi kafukufuku ^wachiwiri wochitidwa ndi Gleeden App kwa anthu okwatirana, zinaonekeratu kuti akazi 77% ku India amachita chigololo chifukwa cha moyo wawo wosasangalatsa m’banja. Koma chiwerengero cha kusudzulana ku India n’chotsika kufika pa 1%. Ku India mwa maukwati 1000, 13 okha ndi omwe amachititsa kuti anthu asudzulane.

Chotero ziŵerengero zimatsimikizira kuti maukwati ambiri ku India amapulumuka ku chikwati.

Zili choncho chifukwa ngakhale kuti nthawi zasintha, kusudzulana ndi njira yomalizira. Komanso amayi omwe sali odziyimira pawokha pazachuma kapena alibe njira yothandizira amavutika kutuluka m'banja. Zikatero banja limakhalabe ndi moyo.

Chinanso chili ku India muukwati mabanja awiri akukhudzidwa. Pamene chibwenzi chowonjezera chikachitika nthawi zina mabanja amayesa kuwongola nkhanizo kuti banja lisawonongeke.

Njira 12 Zobwezeretsanso Chikondi Ndi Kudalira Ukwati Mutatha Chibwenzi

Tsopano funso lofunika ndiloti mungakonze bwanji ukwati pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika? Limeneli ndi funso lomwe limakhala pamwamba kwambiri m'maganizo mwa anthu pambuyo pa chibwenzi. Ndipo malinga ndi ziwerengero za ku India maukwati amapulumuka pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri ndipo kusudzulana sikofala.

Koma kumanganso chidaliro muukwati pambuyo pa chibwenzi si ntchito yophweka. Nthawi zina maziko a ukwati amapitirirabe kugwedezeka koma momwe ukwati udzakhazikitsidwire zimadalira khama lomwe okwatiranawo ali nalo.

Shikha Misra, pulofesa wa ku koleji ku Canada, (dzina lasinthidwa) yemwe akuyesera kubwezeretsa chidaliro pambuyo pa chibwenzi cha mwamuna wake anati, "Chinthu choyamba chomwe mungakhale nacho ndi kusamukhulupiriranso. Mudzafulumira kuyang'ana foni yake ndipo ngati wachedwa ola limodzi kuchokera kuntchito mumayamba kukayikira komwe anali kwenikweni. N'zovuta kwambiri kumukhulupiriranso ndipo zimatenga nthawi."

Kotero pamene chibwenzi chikuchitika kuchira koyambirira kumakhala kotheka koma kubwereranso ku ubale wabwino kumene chikondi ndi kukhulupirirana kokha kumakhalapo ndi ntchito yovuta.

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Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr Neeru Kanwar anati: “Mwa mabanja 10 aliwonse amene anabwera kwa ine mu 2000, ndinganene kuti 4 akanabwera chifukwa chakuti panali chibwenzi chowonjezereka chimene chiyenera kuganiziridwa.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo akunena kuti pamene okwatirana abwera kwa iye kudzakonza ukwati wawo pambuyo pa chibwenzi, “Cholinga changa ndicho kuyesa ndi kuika chisamaliro chawo pa zosoŵa zawo zamaganizo zimene sizikukwaniritsidwa ndipo zimene zingatsogolere ku kulongosola momveka bwino zosoŵa zamaganizo za mnzanuyo ndi kumvetsetsanso kokulirapo kumene mnzanuyo akuchokera.”

Koma mukatenga masitepe 12wa ndizotheka kukonza banja pambuyo pa chigololo.

1. Kuti apulumuke pamene ali pachibwenzi, onse okwatirana ayenera kukhala ofunitsitsa

Ukwati sungathe kukhalabe ndi chibwenzi pokhapokha ngati onse awiri ali okonzeka kuika 100 peresenti kuti athetse vutoli. Anthu okwatiranawo ayenera kuonetsetsa kuti akufuna kukhala ndi wina ndi mzake ndikugwira ntchito kuti abwerere kuchoka pamphepete.

Payenera kukhala kudzipereka kwatsopano kuti ubalewu ugwire ntchito ndipo kuyesetsa kowonjezereka kuyenera kuchitidwa kuti izi zitheke. Okwatirana amene anapulumuka chigololo angakuuzeni kuti kudzipereka kaŵiri kumafunikira kuti muchiritse chibwenzi.

Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna kapena mkazi amene wachita zachinyengo ayenera kuyesetsa kuti afotokoze komwe ali. Ichi ndi sitepe yoyamba yosonyeza kuti mukuyesera kubwera poyera ndikumanganso chikhulupiriro mu ubale.

2. Onani katswiri wa ubale

Anthu ambiri amapita kwa mlangizi wa mabanja ngati njira yomaliza yobwezeretsera ukwati wawo pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika. Koma malinga ndi maganizo athu, kuona mlangizi wa mabanja pachiyambi pomwe chibwenzicho chavumbulidwa ndipo chawononga kwambiri ukwatiwo, ndi chinthu chanzeru kuchita.

Mlangizi angathandize kuthetsa maganizo olakwikawo ndi kupeza mfundo za m’banjamo. Mlangizi atha kutsogolera okwatiranawo m’njira yoyenera imene ingathandize kumanganso ukwati pambuyo pa chigololo.

3. Konzani nkhani za m’banja

Nthawi zina m’banja mumakhala zinthu zimene sitizidziwa n’komwe pamene tikuchita zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku. Rees ndi Mac (dzina lasinthidwa) anakhala omasuka kwambiri muukwati wawo wazaka 16 kotero kuti ananyalanyaza mfundo yakuti kugonana kunasiya kukhala mbali ya ukwati wawo kwa zaka zambiri.

Mwachidule, anali ndi ukwati wopanda kugonana . Anali otanganidwa kusamalira banja, ntchito, ana, makolo ndipo sanasamale zosowa zawo zakuthupi ndi zamaganizo. Sanazindikire chifukwa chosowa chikondi chakuthupi, ngakhale kuti anali kugona pabedi limodzi usiku uliwonse, momwe anali kulekanitsidwa. Koma pamene Rees anali pachibwenzi ndi mnzake wa kuntchito, izi zinaonekera.

Nkhani zamtunduwu ziyenera kuganiziridwa momveka bwino. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Kavita Panyam anati, "Mukachita chibwenzi choyamba muyenera kukhazikitsa chidaliro, kenako kukhala mabwenzi ndipo kenako ndi inu nokha amene mungabwererenso ku chibwenzi chakuthupi. Muyenera kupereka nthawi imeneyi."

4. Osaphatikiza anthu ambiri pankhaniyi

Cholakwa chachikulu chimene okwatirana ambiri amachita ndicho kuyankhula za chibwenzicho kwa anthu ambiri kuphatikizapo achibale ndi mabwenzi. Izi nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa kuti anthu azifunsa mafunso osamasuka komanso kulowerera m'banja. Izi zitha kukhala zoyipa makamaka ngati okwatirana akuyesera kuti achire pachibwenzi ndikuyambanso.

Choncho ndi bwino kusunga chinthu chonsecho. Ngati mukufuna kugawana ndi anthu odalirika omwe sadzakuweruzani m'tsogolomu.

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5. Imitsani masewera olakwa

Chibwenzi chikachitika, m'modzi mwa okwatirana amaimba mlandu wina ndipo mnzake amaimba mlandu. Kusinthana mlandu ndi chinthu chachibadwa ndipo ndewu zobwerezabwereza zingayambitse chisokonezo.

Munthu amamva ngati akumasula kukhumudwako polankhula zinthu zopweteka. Koma sitepe yoyamba kuti mupulumuke pachibwenzi ndikuyimitsa mlanduwo.

N'chifukwa chiyani chibwenzicho chinachitika? Kodi ndani anachititsa zimenezi? Zinthu izi ziyenera kukhala zakale. Kumanganso ukwati pambuyo pa chigololo kuyenera kukhala koyang'ana zamtsogolo.

Muyenera kuyang'ana m'tsogolo momwe kukhazikitsanso chikhulupiriro ndikubwezeretsanso banja kuyenera kukhala cholinga chanu chachikulu. Kodi mzimu wanu ukusakasaka chigololo koma malangizo athu akhale kuyang'ana kutsogolo m'malo moyang'ana kumbuyo.

6. Khalani owona mtima kotheratu

Udindo wokhazikitsa chidaliro ndi wa mnzanu wonyenga . Njira yabwino yochitira izi ingakhale kupereka mawu achinsinsi ku maakaunti ochezera a pa Intaneti, imelo ndi foni kwa mnzanuyo kuti muwonetse kufunitsitsa kwanu kutsimikizira kuti palibe cholakwika chilichonse. Izi zimathandiza kwambiri kuti mupulumuke mu chibwenzi.

Onse awiri ayenera kukhala oona mtima ponena za mmene akumvera pambuyo pa chibwenzicho ndipo sayenera kupeŵa kulankhulana moona mtima pamene chinachake chawakwiyitsa. Koma zimenezo ziyenera kuchitidwa mwauchikulire.

7. Yambitsaninso kulankhulana

Kaŵirikaŵiri zimakhala chifukwa cha kusokonekera kwa kulankhulana kwa okwatirana kumene kumadzetsa mavuto owonjezereka. Sue amatha kumvetsetsa kuti mwamuna wake David (mayina asinthidwa) anali ndi chibwenzi koma zidamutengera miyezi 8 kuti athane naye.

Ngakhale adadyera limodzi chakudya chawo chamadzulo komanso nthawi yapa TV pambuyo pake pampando wapabalaza koma nthawi zambiri Sue amakana kumuuza David zomwe amamva chifukwa chokonda foni.

Tsopano akumva kuti akanakhala kuti adalankhula zakukhosi kwake miyezi 8 yapitayo zinthu sizikanafika pamenepa. Kumanganso ndi kukonza kulankhulana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pakumanganso chidaliro. Okwatirana ayenera kulankhula zakukhosi kwawo nthawi zonse kuti akonzenso chidaliro ndikupulumuka chibwenzi.

8. Yambitsaninso ubale

Mbali yabwino yokha ya chibwenzi ndi kuthandiza maanja kumvetsetsa kuti ndi ndani komanso momwe angathanirane ndi mavuto. Palibe kutsutsa mfundo yakuti kusakhulupirika kumakukhudzani.

Koma kubwereranso ku zakale ndi kubwezeretsanso ubale kungathandize kupulumuka chibwenzi.

Mutha kupita kumalo ogulitsira khofi omwewo omwe mumapitako kale, kukonza maulendo apabanja ndi ana kapena kungopita kukaonera limodzi makanema. Yambani kuchitanso zinthu zomwe mumazikonda nthawi zonse.

9. Chotsani chakukhosi

Chibwenzi chikatha ndipo ngakhale pamene mnzanuyo alonjeza kudzipereka kwake kotheratu paubwenziwo mkwiyo umakhalapobe.

Mkwiyo, kupwetekedwa mtima, nsanje, ukali umene munamva poyamba mutazindikira za chibwenzicho umakhala ndi chidani chokhalitsa. Kuti mupulumuke pachibwenzicho, muyenera kusiya chakukhosi ndi mkwiyo.

Ndipamene muyenera kuyang'ana zabwino zonse za wokondedwa wanu komanso mbali zabwino za ubale wanu. Zidzathandiza kuthetsa mkwiyo umenewo.

10. Dzichiritseni nokha choyamba

Kuti banja lipitirizebe kukhala pachibwenzi n’kofunika kwambiri kuti onse awiri azidzichiritsa okha kaye. Mwamuna kapena mkazi yemwe adabera amakhala ndi malingaliro ake olakwika oti athane nawo pomwe munthu yemwe akumva kuti waperekedwa ayenera kuwongoleranso momwe akumvera.

Ngakhale kuti wachinyengo ayenera kulimbana ndi mlandu wake , munthu amene wanyenga pa nkhani ya kudalirana naye. Kupita ku tchuthi yekha ndi njira yabwino yopezera malingaliro abwino komanso kuchira.

Pambuyo pozindikira zomwe mukumva komanso momwe mukufunira kupititsa patsogolo ubale wanu mutha kungoyambanso kulimbitsa chikhulupiriro ndi kubwezeretsanso banja.

11. Lekani kuyang’ana m’mbuyo

Izi nzosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita. Koma yesani kuyambitsa chibwenzicho ngati mutu watsopano m'moyo wanu. Muyenera kukhala ndi zifukwa zanu zopatsira ubale mwayi wachiwiri womwe ungakhale chikondi ndi mgwirizano womwe ulipobe kapena ana anu kapena kufunikira kokhala limodzi osachoka pamalo otonthoza.

Zirizonse zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana kutsogolo ndikukhala otsimikiza za komwe mukufuna kuti ubalewo upite. Kuyang'ana m'mbuyo kungangowonjezera ululu ndi mkwiyo.

Kumanganso ukwati wanu pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika ndi kotheka kokha ngati mutasiya kuyang'ana mmbuyo ndi kupitiriza kuganizira zomwe zinachitika ndi chifukwa chake zidachitikira.

12. Musazengere chibwenzi;

Pakhoza kukhala mikangano, ndewu ndi zinthu zoyipa koma muyenera kuyesetsa kuti musamapangitse chibwenzi ngati mukufuna kuti banja lanu lipulumuke. Khama lanu ndikupita patsogolo osati kupitiriza kuimba mlandu mnzanu pa zomwe zinachitika. Iyi ndi lamulo loletsa-ayi.

Maubwenzi ena samakhala ndi mwayi pambuyo pa chibwenzi ndipo pankhaniyi ndi bwino kusankha chisudzulo ndikutuluka muukwati. Tengani mndandanda wathu wa zisudzulo kuti mukhale otsimikiza. Koma ngati okwatirana akuganiza kuti angapatse ukwati wawo mwayi wina ndipo ukhoza kupulumuka chibwenzi, ndiye kuti ayenera kuganiza mozama ndikuchita khama limodzi. Kumbukirani, ukwati nthawi zonse umakhala mgwirizano ndipo muyenera kuyesetsa kawiri ngati gulu kuti upulumuke chibwenzi.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.