Njira 8 Zokulitsira Chitetezo Pamaganizidwe Muubwenzi Wanu

Ubale ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zochepa m'moyo zomwe zimafunikira khama komanso nthawi. Ichinso ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe anthu amakonda kuziwona mopepuka. Ngakhale zokhumba, zokhumba ndi zoyembekeza mu ubale zimatha kusiyana pakati pa munthu ndi munthu, chitetezo chamalingaliro chimakhala chofunikira nthawi zonse.

Ziribe kanthu ubale womwe muli nawo, kaya kholo ndi mwana, abale, kapena okonda, mumafuna kukondedwa, kumvetsetsedwa, ndi kulandiridwa momwe muliri. Ngati pali kusowa kwa chitetezo chamaganizo muubwenzi, ndiye kuti khalidwe la chiyanjano limawonongeka ndipo likhoza kukhala lopanda thanzi. Izi zitha kupanga kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa ndipo mutha kukhala osagwirizana.

Timaona maubwenzi ambiri akutha chifukwa chakuti m'modzi kapena onse awiri sakumva kuti ali otetezeka muubwenzi. Ndiye kodi munthu angakonze bwanji vutoli? Mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi Geetarsh Kaur , yemwe anayambitsa Sukulu ya Luso yomwe imayang'anira kumanga maubwenzi olimba, amatithandiza kumvetsetsa zomwe chitetezo cha m'maganizo chimafunika komanso momwe tingakulitsire zimenezo muubwenzi wathu.

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Mwachidule, chitetezo cha m'maganizo ndi mkhalidwe umene anthu awiri amakhala omasuka kukhala enieni pakati pa wina ndi mnzake. Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti, "Ndi mtundu wa ubale womwe okwatirana amakhala otetezeka podziwa kuti ali ndi wina ndi mnzake woti agwirizanenso m'maganizo popanda mantha a zotsatirapo kapena kuweruzidwa. Ubale womwe malingaliro anu amatsimikiziridwa ndipo sangaonedwe ngati osafunikira."

“Bwanji osandiuza momwe mukumvera? N’chifukwa chiyani mumachita zinthu mobisa?” Ngati mafunso amenewa ndi omwe mumadzifunsa nthawi zonse kapena kufunsidwa, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti palibe chitetezo cha maganizo muubwenzi wanu. Muubwenzi wopanda chitetezo cha maganizo, simungathe kulekerera. Ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji, simungathe kulumikizana ndi mnzanu pamlingo wozama.

Ndi momwe anthu amamangidwira. Timakonda kuthawa kapena kudzitsekera tokha tikaona kuti tavulala kapena ngozi. Ngakhale kupwetekedwako kuli kwamtundu wamalingaliro kapena m'maganizo. Pakakhala chitetezo chamalingaliro m'banja kapena pachibwenzi, mumapumula pamaso pa mnzanuyo, otetezeka podziwa kuti mumalemekezedwa ndikukondedwa mopanda malire komanso kuti ali ndi chidwi chanu m'mitima yawo.

Kupanga chitetezo m'malingaliro ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mupange ubale wabwino. Chifukwa chimene maubwenzi ambiri amasokonekera sikuti anthu sasamala koma sadziwa momwe angalimbikitsire chitetezo chamtundu wotere muubwenzi. Ngati mukuwona kuti ubale wanu ulibe gawoli, tiyeni tiwone zitsanzo zachitetezo chamalingaliro zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito kuti mulimbitse ubale wanu.

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Njira 8 Zopangira Chitetezo Pamaganizidwe Muubwenzi Wanu

Ngati moyo ukanakhala ndi buku la malangizo, tonsefe tikadakhala ndi moyo wosavuta. Mwatsoka, si momwe zimagwirira ntchito. Tikafunafuna mayankho a mavuto athu, ndi zachibadwa kuyang'ana anthu otizungulira. Koma ngati mukuyang'ana zitsanzo za chitetezo cha malingaliro mu maubwenzi ozungulira inu, mutha kukhala ndi mutu. Kupatula apo, pali mitundu yambiri ya maubwenzi monga momwe maanja alili. Tanthauzo la chitetezo cha malingaliro lingasiyane pa chilichonse.

Ngakhale zili choncho, mfundo zazikuluzikulu zimathandizira kulimbikitsa chitetezo chamalingaliro mu ubale. Tili pano kuti tifufuze zomwe mfundozi ndizomwe ndikupatseni malangizo omwe angakuthandizeni kukhala otetezeka muubwenzi wanu:

1. Kufufuza zenizeni - Gawo loyamba loti mutetezeke m'maganizo

Gawo loyamba pothetsa vuto ndi kuvomereza kuti pali vuto. Izi, kunena zoona, zingakhale zovuta kwambiri. Pamene ubale wathu wafika poipa kwambiri, timadziuza tokha kuti vutoli ndi la kanthawi kochepa ndipo tidzatha kuthana ndi mavutowa . "Ili ndi gawo chabe, zinthu zidzasintha pakapita nthawi" kapena "Ndi kusamvetsetsana chabe ndipo ndikutsimikiza kuti nkhaniyi sidzabwerezedwanso" ndi ena mwa mabodza omwe timadziuza tokha.

Koma nkhani zokulirapo sizimathandiza aliyense. Ndipo chitetezo chamalingaliro ndi chinthu chomwe simungachinyalanyaze. “Ngati mukuda nkhaŵa kuti kulankhula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kudzayambitsa mkangano, kapena ngati nthaŵi zina mumabisa mmene mukumvera chifukwa chakuti mukuona kuti palibe amene angakumvetseni kapena mantha anu adzapeputsidwa, ndiye kuti nthaŵi yafika ya kuvomereza kuti zimenezi si zitsanzo za chitetezo cha maganizo ndi kuti ndi nthaŵi yoti muthetse nkhani za m’unansi wanu,” akulangiza motero Geetarsh.

2. Tsimikizirani mnzanuyo

Zimakhala zovuta kumasuka kwa wina ngati munthu akuwona kuti kusatetezeka kwake kudzanyozedwa kapena adzaweruzidwa chifukwa chofotokoza malingaliro ndi malingaliro ake. Kuti tipeze chitetezo m'malingaliro mu ubale, tiyenera kumvetsetsa kuti munthu aliyense ali ndi waya wosiyana. Momwe amachitira zinthu zikachitika, momwe chochitikacho chimawapangitsa kumva, ndi momwe amachitira ndi zowawa zingakhale zosiyana kwambiri ndi momwe mungachitire zinthu.

Komabe, chifukwa chakuti zomwe mwakumana nazo kapena momwe mukuthanirana ndi mavuto sizikugwirizana, sizikutanthauza kuti malingaliro ndi malingaliro a mnzanu ndi osafunika kwenikweni. “Mungathe kukonza ubale wanu mwa kumvetsera mnzanuyo akamakuululirani zakukhosi. Auzeni kuti malingaliro ndi malingaliro awo ndi olondola ndipo muwadziwitse kuti sali okha pamavuto awo,” akutero Geetarsh.

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3. Ganizirani musanalankhule

Geetarsh anati: “Chinthu chimodzi chofunika kwambiri kukumbukira poyesetsa kulimbitsa mtima m’banja n’chakuti tizikumbukira zimene mukunena.

Mawu ndi zida zamphamvu, amatha kupanga kapena kuswa munthu, choncho samalani kwambiri momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito. Pewani kutchula mayina onyoza kapena kugwiritsa ntchito ziganizo zotuluka monga “Ndiwe wokwiya kwambiri” kapena “Sindingathe kuchita izi ndipo nditha kukhala nanunso”. Ziganizo ngati izi zimawononga chitetezo cha ubale ndipo zingapangitse mnzanuyo kumva kuti sali wotetezeka.

M'malo mogwiritsa ntchito 'inu', ndi bwino kugwiritsa ntchito ziganizo za 'ife' zomwe zikugwirizana ndi kuthetsa. "Tiyenera kuthetsa izi" kapena "tipanga izi" ndi zitsanzo zachitetezo chamalingaliro. Posintha ma jibe opweteka ndi mawu olimbikitsa awa, mutha kupita patsogolo mukumva kukhala otetezeka muubwenzi.

4. Lemekezani malire a mnzanu

Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu basi, mumaona kuti ndinu wofunika. Komabe, kukhalapo kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumatha kukhala koyenera ndipo ndipamene zinthu zimakhala zovuta. Maubwenzi onse abwino ali ndi malire ndipo ndikofunikira kwambiri kuwalemekeza. Pamene malire a munthu anyalanyazidwa, akhoza kusiya kudzimva kuti ali otetezeka mu chiyanjano ndi kuyankha mwa kutseka kapena kuchoka mu chipolopolo chawo.

Kuti mukhale otetezeka muubwenzi, ndikofunikira kukumbukira ndi kulemekeza malire a mnzanuyo osawaphwanya, mosasamala kanthu za momwe zinthu zilili. Dziwani pamene kukambirana kukusandulika mkangano, tengani nthawi yopuma kuti mukhale chete musanabwererenso ku nkhaniyi. Malire muubwenzi si kungoteteza inu ndi ubalewo, komanso ndi okhudza kulemekeza zomwe zili zopatulika kwa inu nonse.

5. Gwiritsitsani mawu anu kuti mukhale otetezeka m'maganizo

Mudzaona maubwenzi omwe alibe kukhulupirirana amakumananso ndi kusowa kwachitetezo chamalingaliro. "Kukulitsa chidaliro pakati pa okondedwa ndikofunikira popanga chitetezo m'malingaliro ndipo zimachitika ngati onse awiri amatsatira mawu awo," akufotokoza Geetarsh. Sizikuwoneka ngati zambiri, sichoncho? Komabe ndi zofunika kwambiri.

Mutha kuganiza kuti sizingatheke kusunga mawu anu ndipo ndi zoona. Kamodzi m'mwezi wabuluu, zinthu zimatha kuchitika ndipo titha kubwereza zomwe tanena. Koma, ngati mungathe kuika patsogolo china chilichonse kupatula lonjezo lanu, ndiye kuti pali mwayi waukulu kuti mnzanuyo adzataya chikhulupiriro mwa inu kwathunthu. Kusadziŵika kosasinthika sikungateteze chitetezo chamalingaliro. Chifukwa chake khalani osasinthasintha ndikumamatira ku malonjezo anu ngakhale zitakhala zovuta.

6. Perekani mnzanuyo phindu la kukaikira ndipo funsani chifukwa chake

Kusowa chitetezo chamaganizo muubwenzi kungayambitse kusadzidalira komanso kukayikirana. Xena ankada nkhawa nthawi iliyonse akafuna kudziwitsa anzake achimuna ndi anzake ogwira nawo ntchito kwa Ryan. Nthawi zambiri, izi zinkayambitsa mikangano yoopsa pakati pa awiriwa. Pamene izi zinakhala chizolowezi, Xena anazindikira kuti anali kuchita ndi chibwenzi chodzidalira.

Xena anakhala Ryan pansi ndi kulankhula naye. Anamuuza momwe amamvera komanso adamva Ryan akutuluka. Ryan anafotokoza kuti nthawi zina ankaona kuti Xena ndi wochezeka kwambiri ndipo anyamata angayese kumubera chibwenzi chake monga momwe analiri pachibwenzi chake chomaliza. Xena ndi Ryan anazindikira kumene kusatetezeka kwake kumachokera ndipo anaganiza zokonza.

Chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo ali ndi malingaliro osiyana ndi anu sizimawapanga kukhala munthu woipa. M'malo mopanga malingaliro ndi kutsutsa malingaliro awo ndi kachitidwe ka zikhulupiriro, yesani kumvetsetsa komwe akuchokera. Kukulitsa chizolowezi chaching'ono ichi kudzachita zozizwitsa paubwenzi wanu.

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7. Zochita zimalankhula mokweza kuposa mawu pomanga chitetezo chamalingaliro

Geetarsh anafotokoza kuti: “Si mawu okha amene mumagwiritsa ntchito komanso mmene thupi lanu limayendera komanso zimathandiza kuti muzikhala otetezeka m’maganizo mwanu,” akufotokoza motero Geetarsh, “Kuona mnzanuyo, kuwaimbira foni kuti adziwe kuti muli otetezeka kapena kuti ali m’maganizo mwanu, zonse zimene zingakuthandizeni kukhala otetezeka m’maganizo m’banja kapena pachibwenzi.”

Zinthu zazing'ono monga kupukuta maso anu kapena kupingasa manja anu mukamalankhula zimapweteka zokambirana zomwe mukuchita. Zimapereka chithunzi chakuti simukulandira bwino. Chilankhulo cha thupi chimagwira ntchito m'maubwenzi . Chingakhale chobisika komanso nthawi zina chosazindikira koma chimakhudza kwambiri munthu amene tikulankhula naye. Mvetserani mnzanuyo ndi maganizo otseguka ndipo chidzaonekera m'zochita zanu.

8. Fufuzani uphungu kuti muthetse kusowa kwa chitetezo m'maganizo mu chiyanjano

Zimatengera awiri ku tango koma nthawi zina maubwenzi amatha kumva ngati warzone. Zaka za zowawa ndi zowawa zikuwunjikana ndipo sitingathe kuona zinthu zing’onozing’ono mosaipitsidwa. Chiganizo chilichonse chikuwoneka kuti chili ndi mlandu. Lingaliro lirilonse loperekedwa limakhala lonyozedwa. Zomwe zimachitika kwambiri ndizomwe mumamva kuti simukumvedwa komanso osakondedwa. Ndipo ubale wokongola mwadzidzidzi umayamba kumva poizoni.

Nthawi zambiri maanja amapezeka kuti akulephera kuchoka mumchitidwewu, ngakhale onse ayesetsa bwanji. Zikatero, kupeza thandizo kuchokera kwa mlangizi kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo kungathandize kusintha kusintha kwanu. Ngati mukuganiza zopempha thandizo, alangizi ovomerezeka komanso odziwa zambiri pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Zimatenga nthawi kuti munthu akhale ndi chitetezo chamaganizo muubwenzi. Ndi gawo lalikulu la ubale wabwino lomwe siliyenera kusokonezedwa. Pali njira zambiri zomwe munthu angalimbikitsire chitetezo chamaganizo muubwenzi ndipo zitsanzo zosiyanasiyana za chitetezo chamaganizo zimagwira ntchito mosiyana kwa banja lililonse.

Choncho lankhulani ndi mnzanu ndipo mudzadziwa momwe zimakhalira zosangalatsa kukhala paubwenzi womwe umamvedwa, kukuyamikiridwa, komanso kukondedwa. Ndipo kumbukirani kuti thandizo ndi losavuta.

Ibibazo

Msungwana Wanga Wotuluka Amadana Ndi Zoletsa Ndipo Ndimadziona Kuti Ndi Osatetezeka. Kodi Ndithana Ndi Vutoli Bwanji?

Umphumphu Wamalingaliro Mu Ubale - Ndi Chigawo Chosowa Mu Jigsaw Ya Kukwaniritsidwa?

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.